- 7 hours ago
The Young Offenders S05E06 [Full Movie] [Vertical Drama]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:04People always say you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends.
00:09And then you can get your friends to look after your family.
00:12The silly pigeon had run away forever, and leave everybody behind.
00:18This made him a sad silly pigeon.
00:21It's a bit grim, no?
00:23I am a damn girlfriend when Dad died, so I understand.
00:26You know someone is a proper friend when they're there for you when you need them the most.
00:31Everyone needs a friend.
00:36What?
00:36Oi.
00:38Where's mine?
00:39I only had enough money for one, so we're going to have to share.
00:41Oi, I'm so sick of this place, like.
00:44Cork is just a dead end.
00:46We're broke.
00:47We can't get jobs.
00:49We're still living at home with a annoying mad dickhead guard in the house.
00:52We can't even get any sleep because that baby's crying all the time.
00:56We always said we need to get out of this place and thrive.
01:00But here we are, still, years later, sharing a lolly.
01:03But what about Star, like?
01:04Well, you don't even have access to her.
01:06If we go abroad and make shitloads of money you can prove yourself and be a proper dad,
01:11you'll never be able to do that here.
01:13No, you are right, you are right.
01:14I just, I obviously had to ask her or else I wouldn't be a good dad.
01:18All right, where do we go?
01:19All right.
01:21Tenerife.
01:22Tenerife.
01:22Think about it, boy.
01:23It's like going on holidays but you never have to come home.
01:25Yeah, and you could work in the sun, boy, and smoke cheap bags in Ireland.
01:28Exactly, boy.
01:29Can you imagine living on an island?
01:33That would be unbelievable, boy.
01:34Tenerife's class.
01:35Surrounded by water.
01:36It's unreal.
01:37Here, we've got an announcement, mate.
01:39We are moving to Tenerife.
01:46That's a great idea.
01:48Ah, thanks, Healy.
01:49No, it's not.
01:51You wouldn't your whole survive in Tenerife?
01:53It's better than surviving in this shithole.
01:55We might actually thrive in Tenerife.
01:57Yeah.
01:57Conor, you can't go anywhere.
01:58The farther you go from this house, the more trouble you get in.
02:01You belong here.
02:02Even I have come to terms with that.
02:04All right?
02:05Can you do that somewhere else?
02:07No, I can't.
02:08All right?
02:08I'm up against Lara Gibson for this promotion and she is...
02:11perfect.
02:12Not in a woman way.
02:14In a guard way.
02:16Ah, I got there.
02:19A story.
02:20A crack.
02:21Conor there.
02:22Back, healy.
02:23Oh, boy.
02:29What was that for?
02:31For being a shit friend.
02:32What did you hit me for?
02:33Guilty by association.
02:35I got stuck in the floor of my house for two days.
02:38Two fucking days.
02:53Hey!
02:55Is there anybody there?
02:58It's not funny.
02:59It's not funny.
03:00Don't laugh.
03:01I almost soiled myself.
03:04I could have died on my own.
03:08And you didn't even show up for me.
03:10Billy, since when is it my responsibility to check if you're alive or not if I haven't seen you?
03:13Since we're friends, you'd show up for him though.
03:16Yeah.
03:16That's different.
03:17We always know where each other are, so that would be impossible.
03:19Billy, why are you here?
03:20Did you come here just to punch us or I?
03:22No.
03:23Look, I've got this big job on and I was gonna offer you first refusal because we're friends.
03:31We are still friends, aren't we?
03:33Yeah, we're still friends.
03:34It's just...
03:35I have a hoist.
03:36It's in whiskey distillery.
03:38Some of the bottles are sold for 20,000 euros each.
03:4120 grand?
03:42Holy shit.
03:43And they make a shit ton of them.
03:44They wouldn't even know if some of them weren't missing.
03:46And as far as the job is concerned, a fucking monkey could do it.
03:50That's what he told of you.
03:51Well, I'm not a monkey.
03:52I'm a pre-mate.
03:53No, but honestly, it's the easiest money you're ever gonna make.
03:56Aye.
03:57We're in.
03:58Yeah.
03:59We're in.
04:00We?
04:00Yeah.
04:01We.
04:01Yeah, we.
04:01There's no we.
04:02Oh, he comes swanning back in like a...
04:05Like a...
04:06Like a fucking swan.
04:08No, no, no, no.
04:09Two-man job.
04:10Me, you.
04:11Billy, I'm not doing it unless Jack survives.
04:12That's the plan.
04:13We're walking.
04:15All right, but I don't want to hear nothing from you about an equal split.
04:18Right.
04:2033%.
04:21That's it.
04:22Each.
04:22Yeah, grand.
04:23Not a chance, Billy.
04:24That's not fair at all.
04:25Yeah, no.
04:27That's it.
04:28All right, fine.
04:29You in?
04:35What in the hell, boy?
04:36It's really...
04:37I'm pretty nervous.
04:38I was only doing the hand thing.
04:39Yeah, it's kind of our thing, all right?
04:40All right.
04:42Let's go to work.
04:45Come on, Jack.
04:46Is it great?
04:47I'll say it again.
04:48I have a cousin who's working on the inside.
04:52And he's going to sneak us in like the Greeks did with that big Trojan horse thingy in Troy.
04:58Oh, yeah.
04:59What was that called again?
05:00Big sneaky wooden horse of Troy.
05:03Oh, yeah.
05:03Okay.
05:04What we're looking for are these beauties.
05:09Kilvara.
05:1050-year-old triple distilled whiskey.
05:14Very, very rare.
05:17That's for 20 grand.
05:18Once we have these, we get changed in to the security guard uniforms that my cousin has stashed for us.
05:26Then we set off the fire alarm and we just walk out the door in all the confusion.
05:33What's going on here?
05:34What's going on here?
05:35Oh, what's going on here?
05:36Nothing.
05:36We're playing chess.
05:38Yeah.
05:38I learned chess.
05:39With condiments.
05:41No, with these guys.
05:43Queen to C4 will be the next one.
05:45Yes.
05:45No, you can't fuck.
05:47Sorry, no.
05:47What?
05:50Have you got it?
05:51Are we escaping this?
05:52Warren Martyn.
05:53Harry?
05:55It sort of felt like we were in Ocean's Eleven.
05:57I haven't seen the first ten, but they made it look kind of sexy.
06:01Instead, we were in the dark, getting rolled around in old barrels and ended up with a load of splinters
06:05in our holes.
06:20Are you serious?
06:21Oh, shit.
06:23In and out.
06:24It's the easiest money you'll ever earn.
06:25A monkey could do it.
06:26Don't blame me.
06:27My cousin said the alarm was going to be deactivated all day Wednesday.
06:31Why, it's Tuesday.
06:33It's entirely a foolproof plan, all right, Billy?
06:35You calling me a fool?
06:36No, no, no.
06:36Hello?
06:38Go, go, go, go, go.
06:42Hello?
06:44Who's there?
06:49Come out now.
06:51I have a taser.
06:53A taser?
06:53I know you're there.
06:55I can hear you.
06:57I can smell you.
06:59There's no point in hiding like a chicken shit.
07:02Who are you calling a chicken shit?
07:04Who's with you?
07:05She got you.
07:07Run!
07:08Hey!
07:09Better have your taser.
07:18We needed a change of plan.
07:20And if there's one thing me and Jock can do, it's blending.
07:23Don't be afraid.
07:24We're going to get properly...
07:28stuck into it.
07:29Everyone knows Americans can't drink till they're 21,
07:32so they have to come over here to learn how to do it properly.
07:35They've got to learn from the best, these boys.
07:38Excuse me.
07:39This is a private tour for our American guests.
07:45Well, fully aware that it is a private tour, sir.
07:50My, uh, my friend and I here are Americans.
07:54What?
07:54Is that right?
07:55Kyle.
07:58G'day, man.
08:00I needed a guy for a piece, so I got a little loose.
08:04But back now.
08:05You're what?
08:06I can't do Americans.
08:07Just go over there, huh?
08:08Please continue.
08:10Can you hurry up?
08:11We're going to the Blarney Stone early in the morning.
08:14Yeah, yeah.
08:14Always Blarney, isn't it?
08:17So we're going to take a sip.
08:19We can't finish you two pricks ran off and left me trapped in there.
08:24There's no point blaming you to know, is it?
08:26Attention, there's been a break-in.
08:28Be on the lookout for three men acting suspiciously.
08:30We need to move over here as quickly as we possibly can.
08:40Excusez-moi.
08:43Do you have a description?
08:44Yes.
08:45Two in their twenties and one in their fifties.
08:48Fifties?
08:49I'm in my prank fucking prick.
08:50Copy that.
08:51That's them all right.
08:52They're on the tour.
08:53No, no, no.
08:53The cards are outside.
08:55Okay.
08:56Everybody be cool.
08:58Don't put your heads up in the air.
09:00That's a twenty-year-old triple-stil single-pot whiskey.
09:03It is.
09:03Is that one of the good wines?
09:05Yeah.
09:06Where to keep the shitter wines?
09:08Middle shelf there.
09:15Jack, you take this one.
09:17Hands in the air.
09:18Do I move?
09:19Do I move?
09:20Hands up.
09:20Hands up.
09:21Relax.
09:22Relax.
09:23Keep your hands up.
09:24Yeah.
09:26Operation nap time complete.
09:33Conor and Jack are out and the baby's asleep.
09:36We give the whole house to ourselves.
09:38Great, isn't it?
09:39Yeah.
09:41I'm going to polish my baton.
09:43Maybe I can polish your baton for you.
09:45No, you're grand.
09:46It's a specific technique.
09:47You kind of got to do these little circles, otherwise you get...
09:49For a guard, you are really bad at taking cues.
09:53Do you want to write?
09:54Yeah.
09:55Of course.
09:55Yeah.
09:57Developing scenes here in Cork this evening as a robbery turns into a hostage situation.
10:02Three male suspects are holding a group of tourists hostage.
10:05Love, there are thousands of criminals in Cork, okay?
10:08Not every crime is Conor and Jack, yeah?
10:10Oh, I remember it's been paranoid.
10:11CTV footage from the scene shows the suspects.
10:15They have now been identified as Conor McSlay.
10:17Tony!
10:19Oh, great.
10:21Look, Mum.
10:22Dad's on the telly.
10:23Jesus Christ!
10:25He's been out for five minutes!
10:32I can't get some stupid idea.
10:34Mr. Gargi, we have you surrounded.
10:36Look, they're going to want to negotiate.
10:39The most important thing is we don't let them get in our heads.
10:44Conor, my name is Sergeant Gibson.
10:46No, let me talk to them, right?
10:49You're too emotional.
10:50Aren't you?
10:51Fine.
10:51Yeah, fine.
10:51Go.
10:53Okay.
10:55All right.
10:57Conor speaking.
10:58Go ahead, Conor.
11:00I just wanted to get to Tenerife, all right?
11:02I didn't know this was going to happen.
11:03I just broke the keypad.
11:05I didn't mean to...
11:05Relax, relax.
11:07If they hear fear in your voice, they're going to know.
11:10They're going to think we're amateurs.
11:12Well, we are amateurs.
11:13What they're going to need is clear and precise demands.
11:18Else they're going to run in here and kill every one of us.
11:22Not all of us.
11:26Stay with me, Conor.
11:28They're still there.
11:29Conor again.
11:31We have some very clear and precise demands.
11:35We would like...
11:37Three...
11:39Park, eh?
11:40That's a motorbike, boy.
11:42And three motorbikes as well.
11:44That's going to take time to organise, Conor.
11:48No, boy, that's a good thing, that's a good thing.
11:49Say more weird shit and they'll buy us time.
11:51We want three cork jerseys and...
11:54A portable tree.
11:55A portable tree.
11:57A portable tree.
11:58A portable tree house.
11:59Yeah.
11:59And a plane to get us out of here.
12:01That can land on water.
12:02One of those planes that can land on water so you can land like near an island.
12:05Yeah.
12:05The one's in kind of Indiana drawing.
12:08I'll see what I can do.
12:09But in the meantime, as a sign of good faith,
12:12I'm going to need you to release two hostages, Conor.
12:15Just give them.
12:17Two of the most unhealthy looking ones.
12:20Move!
12:21Move!
12:22Move!
12:27There are two hostages out now so I'm making them.
12:29I got here as soon as I could.
12:31Right.
12:31The little one trusts me now and he's scared.
12:33I'm in his head.
12:34Good work, Sergeant Gibson.
12:35What can I do to help?
12:36You can start by standing on the other side of that tape.
12:38He can't be involved considering his conflict of interests.
12:41I don't have conflicted interests.
12:43Two of the three suspects live with you.
12:45One of them is your stepson.
12:47If those two boys wear curry, your heart will be burning.
12:50Yeah, I can't eat curry so the joke's on you, Gibson.
12:53She's right.
12:54Stand down.
12:55He's not my stepson, okay?
12:56He's my wife's fuck-up of a son, alright?
12:58That's just an unfortunate circumstance.
12:59My priority is my job.
13:02Your missus doesn't look too happy to hear that.
13:06Nice, Tony.
13:08Maria, I didn't mean nice that, okay?
13:14Come here, come here.
13:16I was thinking, okay, I've seen this thing on the telly, right?
13:18Where people fall in love with their kidnappers, okay?
13:20It's called Stock Down Syndrome, right?
13:22It must have been a bit old to me trying to get the shift.
13:25What?
13:25No, not the shift, J.D., boy.
13:27I'm saying if we can get them to like us, boy.
13:29Surely that's a good thing.
13:30Get them on our side.
13:31Well, carefully, how can we get them to like us?
13:34At the same point, all Irish people get foreigners to like them.
13:37Let's go!
13:47Let's go!
13:49Yeah, boy!
13:49Let's go!
13:49Let's go!
13:50Let's go!
13:50Hey, boy!
13:50Yeah, boy!
13:51Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam!
13:52Come in and on!
13:55Billy's uncle is actually Michael Collins.
13:58Yeah, yeah.
13:59But not DEA Michael Collins.
14:00Michael Collins, he used to have a chipper on Barrett Street.
14:04Yeah, you didn't.
14:05Oh, my southern band.
14:08My stepmom's aunt is from Donegal.
14:12So you are Irish.
14:15I love Ireland.
14:17It's so beautiful.
14:18It's shit when you don't have any money.
14:20Come on, that's everywhere, sweetie.
14:22Donate ever no more.
14:24Why come you didn't move here so?
14:26Well, you know, it's not home.
14:28Home is where you feel safe and complete.
14:32Besides, the water here gives me the squirts.
14:36USA! USA! USA!
14:39Very real! Very real!
14:43What a chance, boy!
14:44That was the 20 grand bottle, you idiot!
14:47What?
14:47It sure doesn't taste like 20 grand.
14:50You wouldn't have used that one if you had told him, all right?
14:52You just meant to be likeable, remember, calm down.
14:56You just cost me 20 grand.
14:58Why did I drag you two along?
15:01We didn't ask to come here, all right?
15:02You invited us.
15:03I was being a good friend, and look where that got me.
15:07Oh, a friend.
15:07Why, you throw punches around like it's confetti, all right?
15:10You're the worst friend I've ever had.
15:12You forgot all about me when he swanned back into town,
15:16and then you just mess up my heist.
15:19I'm not the one who triggered the alarm,
15:20because I can't tell the difference between Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
15:23Tuesdays.
15:24Oh, watch it.
15:24Or what, boy?
15:25Oh, let me guess.
15:26You're going to kick the shit out of us.
15:28I thought, you know what?
15:29Maybe Billy's all right.
15:30Maybe he's changed.
15:31Oh, and then you go full psycho Billy
15:32and make everyone around you suffer.
15:34Oh, here we go.
15:35The truth is that what?
15:36We're not friends now, aren't we?
15:37Oh, you want the truth, boys?
15:38Friends don't do bad shit to each other
15:40to make themselves feel good.
15:41Friends do good things to big each other up.
15:44You've never been a good friend in your entire life.
15:46All right, all right.
15:51All right, ma'am, I'm sorry.
15:58I didn't think we were going to get caught.
16:00That's the problem, Connor.
16:01You never think.
16:04All the things you've done, this is the worst.
16:07Hostages?
16:08This is only going to end one way.
16:10We don't even have anything to show up for it,
16:12and there's no way out, so...
16:13Look, we're going to just turn ourselves in.
16:16What?
16:16Oh, well, we can't do it at the University of Starr again.
16:19Ma'am's right.
16:20The only way to get out of this is to do the right thing.
16:24You better hope none of those hostages are hurt.
16:28They're not violent boys, okay?
16:29They're just idiots.
16:30They never hurt any of them.
16:33Is that right?
16:35Thanks for that.
16:38Wait, Con, Con!
16:40Remember the bedtime story I used to read you?
16:43Ma'am, I don't think now's the right time
16:44to be bringing up big boys to wheeze.
16:46Oh, shut up.
16:47Not that one.
16:48Do you remember the silly pigeon?
16:51Yeah.
16:52Con, I think you need to be the silly pigeon.
16:57But isn't that the one where the pigeon runs away
16:59and doesn't come back?
17:01Forever.
17:07Come on.
17:13What do you want?
17:14Fine.
17:15Can you put Starr on the phone there, please?
17:17It's a bit cheeky calling from a crime scene
17:19asking to talk to Starr.
17:20Sorry, I'm sorry, okay?
17:21But me and Con, we messed up, all right?
17:25And we're going to have to probably go away for a while.
17:27And it's not fair that you have to tell Starr.
17:29So, can you just put her on the phone?
17:31I should do it.
17:31I'm her dad.
17:34Starr, come here.
17:39It's your dad, okay?
17:41Hi, Dad.
17:42I saw you on the TV.
17:44Hi, sir.
17:49Myself and Con are probably going to have to go away
17:51for a little while, okay?
17:53Like a holiday?
17:54Yeah, yeah, like on a holiday, yeah.
17:56I'll go pack my swimming tugs in my bag.
18:00No, love.
18:04It's just a me and Con holiday.
18:07But I'm going to miss you, all right?
18:08I really love you, Con.
18:11And I'll always have your back.
18:14I love you too, man.
18:16I love you to the moon, all right?
18:19And all the way back.
18:20All the way back, always.
18:23Because you're my star.
18:26Bye, love.
18:35Please tell me you talk some sense into him.
18:37If by sense you mean I told him to run.
18:38You can't be serious.
18:40I did the right thing for my son.
18:42If you can't support that, then...
18:45maybe I'm not right for you.
18:47Get into position.
18:51Conor!
18:52Sarah, do you move up?
18:52Conor!
18:53Open the door!
18:54Conor, you're coming!
18:56Conor!
18:57They have guns.
18:58They're coming!
18:58Come on.
19:00They're coming!
19:02They're coming!
19:02They're coming!
19:04They're coming!
19:05Jesus, lads, you've got to get out of here!
19:06I ain't useless!
19:07There's no way out!
19:08No, no, no.
19:09There is one way out.
19:11Why did you say that earlier?
19:13I thought you were assholes before, like, but you're actually all right.
19:17See, I never had any friends...
19:18Yeah, yeah, okay.
19:19Where is it?
19:20Oh, that barrel's fake.
19:22There's a ladder on the side leads to a secret passage.
19:24And did you know?
19:25That passage actually dates from 1821.
19:28Come on.
19:28Yeah, shut up.
19:29I don't care.
19:31I'm just bad and that's the way I am.
19:33Billy, now is not the time, all right?
19:35Why, there is an ladder!
19:37There's an ladder!
19:37Because I'm beginning to think, I'd better off in prison.
19:41I mean, there's good food, great fights, regular bedtime.
19:47And if you've no friends, you don't tend to notice other people with theirs.
19:52You know what I mean?
19:55Come on, Kai!
19:57There's no way around!
19:58Oh, God, no!
19:59I'll hold him off!
20:01Oh, God!
20:07What's he doing?
20:09Being a friend.
20:12Pass the door!
20:13Pass the door!
20:21Just because someone's self-destructive doesn't mean they're a ticket.
20:24It all depends on when they decide to self-destructive.
20:28Done at the right time, it can be a gift to those they care about.
20:31I'm gonna get my way, I'm gonna get my way, I'm gonna get my way, and I'm gonna hold him.
20:38Oh, God!
20:43Oh, God!
20:45Oh, God!
20:48Oh, God!
20:50Oh, God!
20:50Oh, God!
20:57Where are we going?
20:58What did you mean?
21:00I can't find your little rats!
21:03No, no, no!
21:05Stop right there!
21:07Healy, boy, you have to let us go.
21:10I have to do what I have to do.
21:12All right.
21:13But if you have to do what you have to do, then we have to do what we have to
21:17do.
21:26Punch me.
21:27What?
21:28What?
21:28This goes against everything that I stand for.
21:30But your mother is more important to me than anything.
21:33Ever since the first day...
21:34Wait, what?
21:34Oh!
21:35I said punch me!
21:37Oh, God!
21:38Oh, God!
21:38Oh, God!
21:39Oh, God!
21:40Don't wait!
21:42Hey!
21:42You can't go that way, you morons!
21:44You're surrounded!
21:45You're gonna go back inside and I...
21:46Oh, God!
21:47Oh, God!
21:48I'm sorry!
21:48I'm sorry!
21:48I'm sorry!
21:48I'm sorry!
21:52I'm sorry!
21:53I'm sorry!
21:53They won't open.
21:54Don't leave!
22:05Oh, for God's sake.
22:15what happened they overpowered me and got away he can't take a punch and she doesn't know how
22:20doors work set up roadblocks all over the city what was that for you can always tell when you're
22:29lying the hostage takers have now been identified as connor mcsweeney jock o'keefe both convicted
22:35drug smugglers and local petty criminal willie murphy do you like that get your hands off my
22:41penis this is democracy manifest sharon sharon it's billy murphy not willie b-i-l-n-n-y
22:55come here hey jamm jamm jamm jamm jamm Oh my god you think the coast is clear i think so
23:01Oh fuck, where the fuck are we with? where are we moving?
23:10I think we're on a ship, on a boat, where are we going John where are we going I can't
23:18I don't do well on the water
23:19I know I know I understand okay look wait stay calm okay
23:24I want to go home I know I think I'm taking home
23:27Hey hey hey hey we have each other okay
23:28I want to go home I want to go home
23:32I want to go home
23:36Relax but I need you to relax for me okay
23:37Look we can't be going far
23:39We must be going down there
23:40Boy that's smooth
23:41Beyond Belfast or England maybe
23:45It wouldn't go farther than that
23:47They needed more petrol
23:48What's that?
23:49What do you mean what's the whiskey?
23:50It's rare fift
23:52That's 20 grand
23:59Give me two seconds
24:00Yes
24:02Very rare 50 years limited release
24:07Kind of
24:08No
24:08You stay calm when you say this
24:12Billy put four bottles of that in there
24:16Wait that's 60
24:17That's 60 grand in there
24:1820 grand there there's 80 grand away so
24:22We're rich!
24:23We're rich!
24:24We're rich!
24:26We're rich!
24:27We're rich!
24:27We're rich!
24:2880 grand
24:29No
24:29No
24:31No
24:42No
24:45No
24:46No
24:46No
24:46You're rich!
24:47What's the waiting for?
24:48No
24:49No
24:50He's dancing
24:54No
24:55In the cold all alone
24:58Don't leave me out
25:00In the cold all alone
25:03All we do is hide
25:06Talk with stupid pride
25:09And we should unite
25:11In a world that makes demands
25:14One of us should lend a hand
25:16But we dare not change
25:21How can I exist
25:24When I hear them cry
25:25Oh, we do those
25:27How can I give hope
25:29When there's none in sight
25:31I just walk away
25:33From all the pain
25:35To keep me sane
25:36Cause I can't face
25:37This world alone
25:40If you ask me
25:42Home isn't a place
25:43Home is the people
25:47Who mean the most to you
25:49The ones that make you feel
25:50Like you're not facing
25:51The world alone
25:52This human part
25:53Release me from the dead
25:56And leave my aching head
25:58You can save my soul
26:03It's dark
26:04And we're stuck
26:05And pretend
26:06It's a place
26:22One, two, three
26:24Three, three, three...
26:25And I'm done
26:31Outro Music
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