- 13 hours ago
A couple of bored escorts suddenly find themselves involved with a hit-gang and an axe-murderer--Mr. Jolly. Gratuitous violence, rivers of blood, and maximum hilarity, all rolled into one.
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😹
FunTranscript
00:17¶¶
00:49What time is it?
00:517.30 a.m.
00:54Have you got a bar here?
00:57No, sir.
00:57Now.
01:06It's mine!
01:07It's mine!
01:08Get it!
01:09That was the last of the drink, you bastard!
01:11I bloody stole it!
01:23You're a policeman!
01:25You could get a pump out of this time of the morning, couldn't you, eh?
01:35Sir Larry?
01:36Ah, welcome.
01:37Come in, gentlemen.
01:38Everyone's been dying to meet you.
01:40Oh, I always say that.
01:44Lovely, aren't they?
01:46They're a pair, you know.
01:47Now then, don't tell me.
01:48You're the off-licence explosion.
01:50Seems awfully unsafe, the off-licence.
01:52Trade these days still.
01:54One man's meat is another man's poison.
01:56Life goes on, or rather it doesn't, thank God.
01:59Leng!
01:59Anyone?
02:00Is it okay?
02:02No, sir.
02:02The hotel death page.
02:04Well, now, he's over here, mostly.
02:06Yes, they're awfully good fine, aren't they?
02:08Would you care to examine the body?
02:10Is it a girl?
02:11Well, now, it's funny you should say that.
02:15It's fatty!
02:15Where did you get to?
02:17We were in the middle of a game of cards.
02:19Yeah.
02:19We got tired of waiting, so we looked at yours and you lost.
02:22You owe us 50 quid and your car care.
02:25Wake up!
02:26Wake up!
02:26You owe us money!
02:28Yeah.
02:28Wake up!
02:29I'm afraid he's dead.
02:31Ah.
02:33Well, who's got his money, then?
02:34Yeah, did you find his credit cards?
02:35He promised his to us.
02:37Well, we won them in a card game, actually.
02:38So where are they?
02:40Well, that's a strange feature.
02:41Because when he came in, he was wearing nothing but this.
02:46That's our property!
02:47Yeah, we rented it to him!
02:49Gentlemen, please!
02:50Show some respect!
02:51Well, then, that uses a hundred quid!
02:53Are you sure you haven't got a bar in this place?
02:55Yes, sir.
02:56Well, it's that alcohol smell, then!
02:58Embalming fluid!
02:59Balmy fluid!
03:01Right!
03:01I'll have some of that, then!
03:10Gentlemen, please, do you know who this body is?
03:13Yes, it's fatty!
03:14And who is fatty?
03:15He is fatty!
03:17Look!
03:18We don't know who he is!
03:20All we know is his name is fatty, and he was a client.
03:24A client?
03:24Yeah!
03:25I think it should be grateful!
03:26We showed him a bloody good chance we did, and he didn't even bloody pay!
03:31What do you mean, didn't even bloody even pay?
03:34Excuse me!
03:34There's me!
03:39Looking for a good time?
03:42So are we!
03:46Dreamy time escorts!
03:49That's us, matey!
03:50Escorts backers!
04:16That's us, matey!
04:20He's too much!
04:21It's very almost like a diamond ball!
04:23And you've reasons why we have to be.
04:42You've got to keep it all over, are you?
04:42If you're lucky, we will be.
04:43I'll see you!
04:43Let's go.
04:48You obviously don't understand.
04:50Every off-licence round here is supplied through Mr Lovebucket.
04:53But this is my point.
04:55It makes for absolute financial suicide.
04:58All the other wholesalers supply at a third of the cost
05:01for bulk purchase, sale or return.
05:03Do you understand?
05:04A third of the cost.
05:05Go and tell that to your Mr Lovebucket.
05:07You have to buy your drink through Mr Lovebucket,
05:09otherwise you'll go bust.
05:11How can I go bust?
05:12It's sound economic sense.
05:15Well, your shop might burn down.
05:16Yeah.
05:17All's due break.
05:20Put it down, will you?
05:21Look, this is the fifth time you've been round here
05:23and I've told you every time that I don't want to buy anything
05:26from your Mr Lovejuice.
05:30But to show you there's no hard feelings,
05:31I'm prepared to order one crate of tonic water.
05:35Tonic water, is it?
05:37Yes, tonic water.
05:40Tonic water, he says.
05:41Oh, really?
05:43Tonic water?
05:43Did you say tonic water?
05:44Yes, tonic water.
05:46He said tonic water.
05:47You say tonic water, do you?
05:49Yes, tonic water is what I say.
05:51If it's tonic water you want,
05:53it's tonic water you'll get.
05:55Come on.
06:00Oh, God.
06:10Oh, God.
06:27Come on, then, come on.
06:29Get him, get him, faster, faster!
06:50Well, it'll be open any day now, won't be long.
06:53God bless Jaime Henderson.
06:55Living above enough license, what could be better?
06:58Living in one?
07:00You're right.
07:01We must become a lot more friendly with Jaime Henderson.
07:05What if we go here, then?
07:07Cheese sandwich and half an apple.
07:10Oh, God love you.
07:11Think you'd have a drink with it, Flash?
07:13Get out of the way!
07:14Get out of the way!
07:19Morning, Mr. Jolly.
07:21Morning.
07:44Good.
07:46Large one.
07:48Don't mind if I do.
07:53Well, that's Fatty's money out of the window.
07:56Yeah.
07:57And Fatty.
07:59Well, it's his own fault.
08:01You shouldn't play Let's See Who Can Fall Out Of The Window the best when you're drunk.
08:04Not on the 18th floor, no.
08:06No.
08:22Running a bit low on alcohol?
08:24Yes.
08:25That's the stuff we started yesterday.
08:27Okay.
08:28I should be finished by now.
08:37Well, let's have a look at that, then.
08:39Okay.
08:39Give it away.
08:41Ah, man.
08:42Bloody towel.
08:48Oh, it's a bit flat.
08:50Ha.
08:50Wait just one moment.
09:11that's very good
09:13I'll have another
09:14quick
09:22brilliant
09:25get some gin
09:28Sonic
09:50Sonic!
09:52Sonic!
09:52Sorry.
09:53So am I.
10:00Love Bucket's incredibly sparkling tonic water.
10:04Well, we're all out for tonic water then, aren't we?
10:06We're having a bloody tonic water party!
10:27Bloody hell!
10:30I mean, Henderson's taking delivery of exploding tonic water!
10:33That's gonna be a whacky of license when it opens!
10:36Open the bloody window!
10:37Pardon?
10:37Open the bloody window!
10:39Open the bloody window!
10:42Fingers!
10:43Fingers!
10:44Fingers!
10:49What was that for?
10:50That's for a bloody tonic water!
10:52I thought you dropped me in a bucket for the tonic!
10:54Don't be clever all the time!
10:56Ow!
10:59And come away from the window!
11:05Now listen!
11:09Quick!
11:09Quick!
11:19Come in!
11:22Hello!
11:25Hello!
11:28Hello!
11:29There.
11:33Business is a bit slack.
11:36There. Hang on.
11:44Oh, come. Morning, sir. How's the fluffy toy business?
11:46Who the bloody hell are you? What fluffy?
11:48Oh, brilliant.
11:50Now, he sure nobody knows where you are.
11:52Yeah, but that's all right. Yes, of course it was.
11:55Shut up!
12:01Come in!
12:10Come in!
12:23Come in!
12:34Come in!
12:35Now, are you sure absolutely nobody knows where you are?
12:39Nein! Right.
12:46Did you hear that?
12:49Yes!
12:50Well, the bell's working, then.
12:54So, I see old Jolly's got off to an early start.
12:58It's not unusual to feel loved by anyone.
13:01It's not unusual to have fun with anyone.
13:07When I see you hanging about with anyone.
13:12It's not unusual...
13:15All I'm saying is the one advertisement in the Times saying,
13:18What are you doing this weekend?
13:19Fancy getting drunk?
13:20Won't work!
13:22You've got to put the telephone number!
13:25But we know the telephone number!
13:30Escorts!
13:31Escorts!
13:32Escorts!
13:32Come in if you're saucy!
13:34Can I borrow some fairy liquid?
13:37What?
13:37Again?
13:38Shut up!
13:38Of course you can, Ralphie!
13:40Ooh!
13:41You all right, Ralph?
13:41If you cut yourself shaving?
13:43I'll bring it back!
13:51He gets through a lot of fairy liquid, doesn't he?
13:54Huh!
13:55Maybe as long as flat!
13:56Why must you always be so rude to Mr. Jolly?
14:00You are jeopardising our relationship with him!
14:04I'm what?
14:05I said you're jeopardising our relationship with Mr. Jolly!
14:08Don't stop squishing!
14:18Telephone!
14:22Dreamy time, escorts!
14:24filet clings!
14:25Ah?
14:26Ah!
14:27Ah?
14:28Ah?
14:29Ah?
14:30Ah?
14:31Ah?
14:34Ah?
14:35Ah!
14:36Ah?
14:36Ah outta my hole?
14:41Ah?
14:41Ah?
14:44Ah?
14:46Ah?
14:47OK!
14:49OKAY?
14:52What was that?
14:53Wrong number.
14:58Only joking. It's an engagement for this morning, 10 o'clock.
15:03Mr Yakimoto.
15:05Oh, God! Another French bastard!
15:10Yes, he's at the Holiday Inn for a conference
15:12and wants two young, attractive, live escorts for a really good time.
15:19Should be a doddle.
15:23Now, things are looking up.
15:56Where's this Yakimoto fella?
15:59I didn't go.
16:01This way. Okie dokie.
16:08Dreamy time escorts!
16:10No job too big door to door.
16:12We are on the phone.
16:16Dreamy time escorts, monsieur!
16:18Do you want to go to the toilet now?
16:21Do you mind if I use your telephone?
16:22Come on! Let's make it messy!
16:28Get me room service.
16:29Come on, let's start.
16:31Room service, get me eight gins.
16:32Now, better make that sixteen large ones.
16:34Who dares gins?
16:36Hang on, I'll find out.
16:36What's the room number?
16:44You can never get a drink when you want.
16:47Bastards!
16:49Oh, shut up!
16:51You want a drink?
16:52Drinky!
16:53Drinky!
16:54Oh, cha, cha, yum cha!
16:56What a remarkably wise choice, sir.
16:58That'll be, uh, four pounds eighty.
17:00Cha?
17:01Well, that's very kind, yes.
17:02I'll have one myself, yes.
17:03Nine pounds sixty.
17:04You got a wallet, have you?
17:05You mean, whoa, whoa!
17:06That's very kind.
17:07We'll call it twenty.
17:08Thank you very much.
17:09What a nice man!
17:10Off we go!
17:10Off we go!
17:37A typical Sherpie Cockney!
17:40Allop and a castle, stick it up your arsehole!
17:42Famous number ten Downing Street.
17:45And look!
17:46There goes Winston Churchill on his way to Bison Cigars.
17:52And they're open!
17:54Now, this is what we call an Old English pub.
17:56And, oh, look!
17:57Here comes Dick Turpy!
17:59Good morning, unstickerbuck!
18:02Right.
18:02I'll have a large gin.
18:03It's thirsty work, this highway, eh?
18:05Come on up!
18:07And here we are inside the traditional English pub.
18:12Two large gins, please, landlord!
18:15Another Old English pub.
18:17Cheers!
18:19And another Old English pub.
18:26That's right, mate!
18:27Bottoms up!
18:29Cheers!
18:30Cheers!
18:31Cheers!
18:33Yeah, this is another traditional Old English pub, which is very close to closing time if you
18:37don't mind.
18:38Right.
18:38I've told you four times already.
18:40We're closed.
18:40You two out now.
18:43Look, buster!
18:44Brenda!
18:48And stay out!
18:52Oh, look!
18:54A traditional Old English illegal drinking establishment!
18:59Oh, mate!
19:05Hey!
19:06Small!
19:06Small!
19:07Have a round!
19:09I think you're gonna like it here, mate.
19:10We're regulars, you know.
19:12Ha!
19:12Hey, Monica!
19:13Get home, alright, the other morning!
19:15Ooh!
19:15Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
19:17What are you talkin' about?
19:19What do you want?
19:20Well, I think we'll indulge in two massive gins, please, Monica.
19:23Nothing for the French keys, eh?
19:25Sorry, mate, you have to be a member.
19:26Well, I think we're going to have a very nice time here.
19:29I think we're here.
19:31Good luck.
19:36Prince Charles.
19:37You know Mr. Jolly, don't you?
19:39Now him?
19:40He borrows our fairy liquid.
19:42Yes, we live next door to him, actually, don't we?
19:44Did you know what's coming in today?
19:45Um, he was doing a spot-off cleaning.
19:49Give this to him, please, and say that someone left it for him
19:52and said there was a drink in it for the person that delivered it.
19:54Oh, let's open it up, then.
19:56Drink on the house, stupid.
19:57Yeah, drink on the house, stupid.
19:59Right, so you're just going for that one, then.
20:01Have you got the money this time?
20:03Of course, Monica.
20:04Wallet, monsieur.
20:07Ah, I wonder if you could organise some sort of drink now, pay later scheme, Monica.
20:11Where we're plunk, plunk.
20:12Come on.
20:13Ow!
20:14Ow!
20:15Ow!
20:15Ow!
20:20What's Mr. Jolly got that we haven't got?
20:24Ah, bloody fairy liquid.
20:27Ha ha ha ha ha.
20:29Ah, dear.
20:33Ah!
20:36Oh, shut up!
20:38Ah!
20:41Shut up!
20:43Ah!
20:47Ah!
20:49Ah!
20:50Ah!
20:52Ah!
20:58One thousand five hundred and seventy-four gin and tonics, please, Monica.
21:04Large ones.
21:06Ah!
21:07Ah!
21:09Ah!
21:11Ah!
21:14Ah!
21:16Ah!
21:19Ah!
21:21Ah!
21:23Ah!
21:24Ah!
21:29Ah!
21:33Ah!
21:34Ah!
21:35Ah!
21:37Ah!
21:37Ah!
21:37Ah!
21:38Ah!
21:38Ah!
21:40Ah!
21:42Ah!
21:42Ah!
21:43Ah!
21:49Ah!
21:50We have got four quid and a note for Mr. Jolly.
21:56Oh, what does it say?
21:57It says, check out Mr. Jolly.
22:02Well, it's upside down.
22:03Well, it's bloody useless then, isn't it?
22:10Dear Mr. Jolly, here's 3,000 quid.
22:15Take out Nicholas Parsons tonight.
22:19BBC TV said to the 6 o'clock.
22:22Mr. Jolly's going to be pretty annoyed when we give him the note and eight quid.
22:28Nicholas Parsons?
22:29Why does Mr. Jolly get all the best jobs?
22:32What are we going to say to Mr. Jolly?
22:35Nicholas Parsons!
22:36Yeah, we're going to say, Nicholas Parsons!
22:40It's not going to get us very far, is it?
22:42We've drunk all his money!
22:44What are we going to do?
22:47Don't tell him.
22:48Well, what about Nicholas?
22:50He's expecting someone to take him out.
22:52He's probably tired and sweating after a long day in the studio.
22:57Waiting somewhere.
22:59Drinklessly.
23:00Poor Nicholas.
23:04Well, we must do it.
23:05Of course!
23:07Escorts?
23:08Escorts!
23:09It's a chance of a lifetime!
23:10The pinnacle of escorting!
23:13Nicholas Parsons?
23:18Come on!
23:21Nicholas Parsons!
23:23Nicholas Parsons!
23:28Nicholas Parsons!
23:29Nicholas Parsons!
23:33Nicholas Parsons!
23:36Look at that police.
23:37Good officer, you found our van.
23:39It was stolen, you know.
23:40In fact, he stole it.
23:42Take it away.
23:44Are you drunk, sir?
23:45Of course I am.
23:46I'm out of my bloody mind.
23:47I am.
23:47I just spent 3,000 quid in there.
23:49It's all right, officer.
23:50He's not driving.
23:52I am.
23:53Are you sure you're right to drive?
23:59I told you it'd only take us six and a half hours.
24:02He's so handsome, isn't he?
24:04We'd like to spend an evening with Nicholas Parsons because we respect him.
24:08And we feel sure that he would respect us as loyal and devoted fans.
24:12To think they chose our entry out of the thousands and thousands of others.
24:17Oh, imagine an evening for two in London with Nicholas Parsons.
24:21And to think it was only 14 years ago we were presented to Mr Roy Castle, weren't we?
24:26And it was 86 miles to the gallon.
24:28No, we said we had to meet Nicholas outside BBC TV Centre at 6 o'clock.
24:33Mind you, that's the beauty of a two-stroke engine.
24:37He will get us there on time, my love.
24:39My little chauffeur.
24:42Safest car in the world.
25:01Which way do the BBC, you old git?
25:03Oh, that way, Governor.
25:05Right, thank you.
25:06And have a nice day!
25:20Nicholas, Nicholas, it's us!
25:23We're here!
25:24Oh, hello.
25:26Come on, looking for a good time, so are we!
25:28We've got the cash!
25:29No, no, no, it's all right.
25:31The BBC are playing.
25:32It is, isn't it?
25:33What?
25:33It's Nicholas Parsons.
25:34Yes, I'm...
25:35It's Nicholas bloody Parsons!
25:37Look, everybody!
25:38It's Nicholas bloody Parsons!
25:41We're going to take out Nicholas Parsons!
25:43Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations.
25:46My car's over there.
25:47Now, Nicholas!
25:48You get in here!
25:50That's right!
25:51You drink, we drive!
25:52Well, in here, but I...
25:55Right, where do you want to go?
25:57Mad Kenny's all-night drinker?
25:58Fatty Amal's kebab and off-licence?
26:00Or straight to the beef show?
26:02Well, actually, I have reserved a table for three at the Dorchester.
26:06The Dorchester?
26:07Yes, the Dorchester.
26:08The Dorchester with Nicholas bloody Parsons!
26:13Let's go!
26:22And she said, well, I don't think you're a fishmonger.
26:25I think you've done a flop in the wrong lavatory.
26:30Oh, dear.
26:32So, Nicholas, I hear they're making Sale of the Century into a film.
26:35Hey, Nicholas, look.
26:36I can light my...
26:42But what exactly...
26:44Was your winning slogan?
26:46Never ever bloody anything ever!
26:49And that was your winning slogan?
26:52That's the one, Nicky.
26:53I've lived my life by that rule.
26:55Hey, Nicholas!
26:56I wonder if I can light my burps!
27:03I would like to spend an evening with Nicholas Parsons
27:07because never, ever, ever bloody anything ever!
27:13You're pissed, aren't you, Nicholas?
27:15Hey, Nicholas!
27:17I'm a fire extinguisher!
27:21So, Nicholas,
27:23I suppose you spend most of your time opening supermarkets and heliports these days?
27:27Oh, yes, you know how it is, yes.
27:29As a matter of fact, tomorrow I am opening an off-license.
27:34You're opening an off-license.
27:37Yes, an off-license.
27:39God!
27:40Imagine being so important you can open an off-license!
27:44And we're with him right now, aren't we, Nicky baby?
27:48Come on!
27:49Let's go and have a tattoo!
27:51Yes!
27:51One that says,
27:52I've been out with Nicholas Parsons!
27:54And you can have one that says it's true!
27:56I was the bloke that took them out!
27:58Now, we can worry about the spelling later!
28:00And then we'll go back to your place and drink all your scots!
28:03Come on, let's go!
28:05Get out of the way!
28:06Get out of the way!
28:08This is Nicholas Parsons!
28:10Get out of the way!
28:11Get out of the way!
28:13This is Nicholas Parsons!
28:14Get out of the way!
28:16Make it!
28:16Make it!
28:22Yes, yes, yes!
28:24It's a fantastic house, Nicholas!
28:26Now, have you got any dirty films?
28:30No!
28:32You bastard!
28:36Oh, I...
28:37I...
28:37I said...
28:40Are you all right?
28:44I know, Nicholas!
28:45What?
28:47Yes?
28:49Let's have some fun!
28:51What...
28:51What kind of fun?
28:53Let's play a game!
28:54Not Fuddy's game!
28:56No, no, no, no, that's all right!
28:57Not Fuddy's game!
28:58You're all right with us, Nicholas!
29:02What...
29:03What is this game?
29:05Well, these are the rules!
29:06Yes!
29:08I...
29:08Go out of the room!
29:10Yes!
29:10And then?
29:11Yes!
29:12I come back in!
29:14Yes!
29:15You got that?
29:15Yes!
29:17Right!
29:18I'll go first!
29:44I've put it on the wrong way round!
29:54More Scots!
29:55But you're my agent. You've got to do something.
29:59Well, they're the strangest Mr. and Mrs. Cooper I've ever met.
30:03Are you sure they're not Terry Scott's winners?
30:05Hey, Nicholas!
30:06I can't call the police.
30:09If they call me here with these two, it would ruin my reputation.
30:13I'm a family entertainer, remember?
30:15You've no idea what... Oh, my God, it's getting worse.
30:18You want to watch those stairs, Nicholas?
30:20Well, you've got to do something. They're breaking the place up.
30:23Nicholas!
30:24Yes?
30:24This bottle is empty.
30:27Have you got one that's exactly the same but unopened?
30:31I haven't got any more bottles.
30:34Right. Good night.
30:37Good night?
30:38Good night, Nicholas.
30:39Oh, good night!
30:40Good night, Nicholas.
30:41And now!
30:45Pissed from knowledge!
30:48Look at Nicholas Parsons!
30:50Come, James, and don't spare the monkeys!
30:52Where's the van?
31:12DADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADAADADAAADADADADADADADADADDAMADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADAD
31:32I can't eat this.
31:35Is it too cold, Mr. Lopopop?
31:36I'm sure it's very tasty, but I'm just in a bad mood.
31:39Everyone for coffee?
31:40Oh, yes, please.
31:42Right.
31:46now then reg norman ron hillary as you know last week someone wrote on the back window of my car
31:54mr lovebucket is a wanker now i don't understand this because i'm married
32:01so not only is it very wrong it's also very unkind
32:09so i think whoever did this has to be made to regret it
32:16now thanks to my contacts in the metropolitan police i was able to give forensic analysis of
32:22the fingerprints involved so i know who you are and you know who you are so why don't you step
32:30forward reg i'm sorry mr lovebucket i know you are
33:00nobody
33:02nobody lays a finger on my car
33:11they're leaving the house mr lovebucket
33:26what the bloody hell's going on driving you call that show us your bloody license
33:37that's it we surrender good morning good morning sir which one of you is mr jolly
33:47hey yesterday i paid you three thousand pounds
33:51uh i am mr all right but he is mr jolly
33:53mr jolly there's someone to see you i'm just mr jolly's assistant could i have a name please
33:56quiet you this is mr quiet you to see mr jolly it's a hungarian i think i'll just go away
34:01where's the body under the head no i mean nicholas parsons body
34:07under nicholas parsons head under the parsons nose as it was
34:10look where's nicholas parsons head nicholas parsons body and nicholas parsons nose
34:15uh probably in bed we had a bit of a rough night last night
34:19look did you or did you not take up nicholas parsons
34:22yes yes you did yeah we took him to our door just
34:25i know but did you take him out
34:26yeah look i've got the tattoo to prove it
34:29no no i meant take him right out
34:31take him right out what
34:33dorking
34:34no no i meant kill him
34:47if you don't kill nicholas parsons by 12 o'clock
34:50i'll kill you make it tidy if you can't do that make it messy
34:57yeah and if you can't make it messy make it noisy
35:02and if you can't make it noisy make it stupid
35:08any questions i don't think so how about you
35:12not right then do it
35:16do it
35:16do it
35:17do it
35:19do it
35:20do it
35:21do it
35:21do it
35:22do it
35:23do it
35:27oh my people
35:34do it
35:49Go! Go!
35:50This bomb, we're going to do it. This is for real.
35:53All right, come on. Look, shoot, shoot.
35:55Quiet, quiet, very quiet.
35:58Keep the noise down.
35:59We're supposed to save him by surprise.
36:02Hide, hide.
36:05Right, Parsons, you're dead.
36:08Lucky.
36:10Because we've got a same source.
36:12We've got any jump, you want to do it with a same source?
36:13Brody!
36:15Chopping fences in half.
36:17Thank you very much, boys.
36:50Good morning, Nicholas.
36:54We're just leaving.
36:56Bye.
37:05How long does it take Parsons to get from the breakfast table to the front door?
37:09I don't know.
37:09Right, I'll mime it.
37:10Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
37:11Pitter-patter, pitter-patter.
37:12Open the door.
37:13How long was that?
37:13I don't know.
37:14I wasn't timing it.
37:14Well, we'll call it five seconds.
37:15Okay, it was five seconds.
37:17And how long's the fuse on these things?
37:18About ten seconds.
37:19Right.
37:20I'll count to five, and you stick these through the letterbox.
37:23One, two, three, four, five.
37:26No, through.
37:27Through.
37:28Push them, push them up.
37:30Right, take them up, take them up.
37:31Put them in your pockets, put them in your pockets, and run over there.
37:32Run very quickly.
37:33Run, run, run.
37:34Off you go, off you go.
37:34Bye, bye, bye.
37:42Happy birthday.
37:47Now, this is the master plan.
37:51Parsons bends down to see what it is, and you smash his brain out with this.
37:56What do you think?
37:58It's a scorcher.
38:03Fuck.
38:22Nicholas.
38:25Nicky, wicky, wicky, wicky.
38:29Sherry.
38:31Darling, I've got to go.
38:33Just stay upstairs until I get back.
38:39Wow.
38:48I'm ready out of line, sir.
38:59Let him go.
39:01Parsons are off in the chopper.
39:02They're bastards. Let's get them.
39:06Follow that helicopter!
39:07Stop!
39:31It's the jolly brothers.
39:38Faster!
39:40Faster!
39:41Faster!
39:46Well, they didn't turn up for the boots in me.
39:49Yeah!
39:49It was only the same as this chopper last time.
39:52Yeah!
40:08Faster!
40:09He's getting away!
40:12I said faster!
40:21Get me out of here!
40:23Get me out of here quick before I shoot my puns!
40:26Too late!
40:27Get me out of here!
40:29Oh God!
40:30Oh God!
40:32Oh God!
40:39Corey!
40:40That's it!
40:41Down there!
40:41What?
40:46No!
40:48Get right!
40:50No!
40:50Get the right one!
40:53Get away!
40:54Get away!
40:54I went!
40:55Right!
40:56Get away!
40:57All right!
40:58Come on!
40:59He's got a strike!
41:01He's got a strike!
41:01He's got a strike!
41:02He's got a strike!
41:02No!
41:04Faster!
41:05Get left!
41:05Oh, careful! Go left! Go left! Go left!
41:13Oh! Hello, everybody! Thank you! Thank you!
41:18There's nobody here!
41:20There's nobody in the way, you tear! Go on! On! On! Faster! Faster! Faster!
41:25Mr Henderson!
41:29Look, I've made this bloody machine go any faster!
41:32No, I bloody can't!
41:33I don't want to get the whole bloody machine!
41:35Shut up!
41:44It's alright.
41:51Mr Henderson!
41:56Mr Henderson!
41:57Mr Henderson!
41:58Mr...
41:59Come on, please!
42:01Mr Henderson!
42:03Mr Henderson!
42:19Mr Henderson!
42:19Uh, Nicholas Parsons!
42:20Fuck off!
42:22I said Nicholas Parsons!
42:24I know!
42:25Fuck off!
42:25I don't care if you're a bald monkey house!
42:27Fuck off!
42:36Do you think I could use your telephone?
42:40Do I have to spell it out?
42:42F...
42:43You...
42:43No, no, you have made that abundantly...
42:45Look!
42:46Anybody know you're here?
42:48Apparently not!
42:49Come on in.
42:50Oh, thank you very much.
42:52I...
42:52I hope I'm not interrupting your...
42:54Old train, Melanie!
43:02Right!
43:03Made it!
43:04Get the suitcases!
43:05We're going to Rio!
43:06But what are we gonna do?
43:07We'll never find Nicholas Parsons before 12 o'clock!
43:10I just told you!
43:10We're going to Rio!
43:11Now park everything!
43:13Yes, but what are we going to do?
43:14We are going to bloody Rio!
43:16What are we going to bloody do?
43:18Shut up!
43:19Take it easy!
43:23What are we gonna bloody do?
43:29Well, none of this is what happened if you killed Nicholas Parsons properly!
43:32I think they wanna get these dummy guns in there and smash him!
43:37Oh, God!
43:38What's new?
43:39What's new?
43:44What's new?
43:45What's new?
43:45What's new?
43:47What's new?
43:49What's new?
43:50What's new?
43:50What's new?
43:51I've got a thousand nuts
43:54To spend with you
43:57So go and pound it up, you little
44:03Pussycat
44:04Pussycat
44:04Pussycat
44:04I'll let you
44:07Yes
44:07I do
44:09Here
44:11When your pussycat moves
44:14What's new,
44:16Pussycat
44:16Whoah!
44:17Oh!
44:18Shout my pie
44:19What's new,
44:20Pussycat
44:21What's new?
44:47Yeah, we're looking for Mr. Jolly.
44:49Are we talking fluffy toys?
44:52We're talking a very fluffy toy.
44:55Come on in then.
44:58Excuse the mess.
45:00I had my godchildren round.
45:04Rascals.
45:10Now then, where is Mr. Jolly?
45:13I'm Mr. Jolly.
45:16Very quiet.
45:20Oh, God.
45:25Oh, God.
45:34Let's get this straight.
45:36You're saying you are Mr. Jolly.
45:38Of course I am.
45:39Now, what about this street grand?
45:40Are you sure?
45:42Of course I'm sure.
45:43Now, what about the money?
45:45He ain't Mr. Jolly.
45:47I am Jolly.
45:49You don't look very Jolly.
45:51Look, just because my second name is Jolly doesn't mean I have to be Jolly all the fucking time.
46:04Here, let a check out in that office.
46:25Nicholas Barson.
46:26Nicholas Barson.
46:27Nicholas Barson to Jaime Henderson.
46:28Nicholas Barson is coming here today.
46:30Rum.
46:31Six pounds, forty.
46:34Honey, honey, is it true?
46:36Yes, it is.
46:37Nicholas Barson is coming here today.
46:40But this is a dream come true.
46:42Come on.
46:43Come on.
46:45I know you're excited, but you'll just have to be patient.
46:49Patience, my bottom.
46:50Hit him.
46:52Come on.
46:55Matthias Rosé, Hill-on-Dowell, Paul Masson, all the greats.
46:59This is fantastic.
47:01All we have to do is hole up here, wait for Nicholas Parsons to arrive, and then kill him.
47:06I beg your pardon.
47:07Kill him.
47:09No.
47:10Oh, God.
47:16If you're Mr. Jolly, where is Nicholas Parsons?
47:21Oh, I just killed him.
47:23You're a liar.
47:24I have it in your own mind.
47:25What is going on?
47:30Oh, my God.
47:31I just killed somebody.
47:32Yes.
47:32I mean, you've just killed somebody.
47:34Did I?
47:35Yes.
47:36Bloody hell, I need a drink.
47:37So do I.
47:38What do you fancy?
47:39Gin and tonic?
47:40That'll do nicely.
47:42Ha.
47:50No.
47:51Oh.
48:00No.
48:01It's a water.
48:02No.
48:06No.
48:07No.
48:08No.
48:09No.
48:10No.
48:20guitar solo
48:41guitar solo
49:10guitar solo
49:12guitar solo
49:16guitar solo
49:26guitar solo
49:35guitar solo
49:58guitar solo
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