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00:01Previously on Doc
00:02Dr. Larson was in a car accident.
00:04She has no recollection of the last eight years.
00:07Babe, what's wrong?
00:08We got divorced.
00:09Where's your brother? Isn't he here?
00:11We lost Danny.
00:12I don't know who I am now or what I did.
00:15You're the reason I became a doctor.
00:17You created a toxic work environment.
00:19You were cold and arrogant.
00:21I wanted to be a doctor my entire life.
00:25She's protected. By law, we have to reintegrate her.
00:28So I'm basically a med student in a department I used to run.
00:31We were together.
00:32She has no memory.
00:33I want to tell her.
00:34She woke up still in love with her husband.
00:36I'd let that play out.
00:37There's something I need to tell you.
00:39Nora and I are having a baby.
00:41Maybe she needs to know there's something good on the horizon.
00:43I love you.
00:44Okay, I've loved you for a long time.
00:46My test results.
00:47I passed the boards.
00:49Well done, Dr. Larson.
00:50Couldn't have done it without you.
00:51He's my husband now.
00:53You don't remember, but you destroyed him.
00:55Keep your hands off of him.
00:56You can't waste your life pining over someone who doesn't really see you.
01:16Trauma teams to OR3.
01:17I need four units of Oneg.
01:19Prep rapid sequence intubation.
01:20We've got a GSW with heavy arterial bleed.
01:23And he's one of ours.
01:25Michael.
01:26What's going on?
01:36You've reached Dr. Jay Keller.
01:38Please leave a message.
01:39Thanks.
01:39Uh, fourth voicemail to go along with nine unreturned texts.
01:47And I just wanted to say, again, that what you saw isn't what you think you saw.
01:55I guess you took the day off yesterday.
01:58So I'm just really hoping that you'll be at the hospital today.
02:09Call Gina.
02:11Hi.
02:12I finally found out what happened with your patient from the train tragedy.
02:15And I know you're pissed at me.
02:18And I just want to say that I'm here and ready to face the music.
02:22Whatever it is.
02:24And I love you.
02:31Call Sonia Mitra.
02:36Want to tell me why Jake stormed out of the bar the other night?
02:39And then didn't show up for work yesterday?
02:41Nope.
02:41But feel free to ask him.
02:43Because I was thinking, maybe you've got a thing for him.
02:46But he's with Amy.
02:48Maybe you said something he didn't like.
02:51Great minds debate ideas.
02:53Average minds discuss events.
02:55Small minds gossip about people.
02:57Eleanor Roosevelt.
02:58Great mind.
03:01Rounds in five minutes.
03:02Dr. Mitra.
03:03Start with Terry Lewis, Vince Revelle, and Larry Bowden.
03:06I have discharge summaries in my inbox by 10.
03:09Morning.
03:11Uh, Dr. Larson, you'll be with TJ.
03:13But first a word.
03:21Okay.
03:22You wanted to talk.
03:23Talk.
03:27I...
03:29What you think you saw in Michael's office, I know how that looked.
03:33But that was just us saying goodbye.
03:36And the reason that goodbye had to happen?
03:39Is because his wife warned you to stay away from him, right?
03:43Uh...
03:43It...
03:43It was after everything happened with TJ's father, and Richard made me think that I'd killed Bill Dixon, and I
03:50just ended up with Michael just by accident.
03:54And...
03:55We kissed.
03:56But it was just, like, a moment of weakness, and...and the old feelings, and it was just a mess.
04:02And we both knew that it was wrong.
04:04You went to him.
04:05Now?
04:06Here you are, spitting, because you don't want to lose your security blanket?
04:09No, that's not...
04:09You went to him, because you're still living in the past, and he's still your home.
04:14He's not.
04:15Jake, I'm not.
04:16I mean, I'm trying.
04:19I'm...I'm...I'm...I'm...I'm trying so hard.
04:21I know. I know you are.
04:22And look, I know everyone's telling you how terrible you were during that time that you don't remember, which I'm
04:27sure makes it all very confusing.
04:30And yeah.
04:33She was a pain in the ass.
04:35And she didn't suffer fools, and she could be hard to reach, but man.
04:40When she reached her, she was worth it.
04:47That's the woman I fell in love with.
04:51I really miss her.
05:03I was waiting for you.
05:06But we can't do this.
05:08I know.
05:10Jake?
05:14Dr. Hamda, your wife is downstairs in OB.
05:21Are you alright?
05:22Well, my water broke.
05:23So, we're going into labor?
05:25Not necessarily.
05:26We could give her tocolytics to help delay this.
05:28Give the baby some time to mature.
05:30But the last ultrasound, you said he was at least five pounds, so why do we need more time?
05:34At seven weeks early, it's about his lung capacity.
05:36You're worried about his breathing?
05:37What about corticosteroids?
05:38For what?
05:39It helps the lungs mature faster.
05:41We can manage this.
05:43Just sit tight.
05:50We got this, okay?
05:56Rosie, you hear that, mamita?
05:59They got a heart, and it's a perfect match.
06:02They're finally coming through for you.
06:04After all this time.
06:10Why is she here?
06:12Dr. Larson will be assisting me today with your case.
06:14Well, I don't want her here.
06:15Dad.
06:17Have I done something to upset you?
06:19You don't even remember.
06:21Don't believe the doctors, Dad.
06:23It's not their fault.
06:24Uh, we will need to take Rosie to radiology now for a CT scan to prep for the transplant.
06:29More tests?
06:31You're doing great.
06:32We're gonna see you in a minute.
06:34Maybe you want to tell him the reason you don't remember.
06:37And dump my trauma onto him?
06:39What good would that do?
06:40Help us deal with her?
06:42I'm sure my bedside manner was awful.
06:45The only thing I can do now is to try to be nice.
06:49She's all set in there.
06:50Okay, let's get it going then.
06:53Scan is starting.
06:59I remember you saying you're a police officer.
07:02You know my folks are both cops.
07:04Mom's in the eighth, Dad was in the third until they burned down.
07:07Dark day.
07:09Where is he now? Retired?
07:10He's getting back to work soon.
07:12Matter of fact, Dr. Larson saved his life last week.
07:26Something wrong?
07:27We won't know until we do further tests, but there is a spot on her left lung.
07:31What does this mean for her transplant?
07:33If it's just an abscess, it's treatable.
07:36So, please, Alex, we know how much you want this to revoke.
07:38This is how it always is.
07:39She's either too sick or not sick enough.
07:41We're going to do everything we can.
07:42It took six years to get to the top of that list.
07:45We're not waiting anymore, you understand?
07:50We have to report this to Yunos.
07:57Hello.
07:58We are looking for Dr. Hamda.
08:00You were told he's down here.
08:01Oh, yes. His wife's in labor.
08:03Room four.
08:06I'll go get him.
08:15Like this?
08:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:25Is everything all right?
08:26Uh, yeah.
08:28Nora's water broke seven weeks early, but I think we've got it under control.
08:33What's happening?
08:34We have a patient who's due for a heart transplant.
08:36The donor has crossed town at Eastside, and as of this morning, she's number one on the list.
08:39The problem is we found a spot on her lung.
08:41That I believe is an abscess.
08:43But could also be a systemic infection, which would disqualify her from the transplant.
08:47If we alert Yunos, she'll drop down the list and lose the heart.
08:50She could drop down.
08:51But they might be willing to wait until we run more tests.
08:53Either way, transparency is called for in case there's another eligible recipient.
08:57Well, how long until you figure out what the results of the CAT scan mean?
09:00Two, three hours to run the cultures and during the collection.
09:03This isn't just about your patient.
09:05If Yunos finds out we withheld this...
09:07For a couple hours?
09:08We could lose our accreditation.
09:10I don't think they'd be that punitive.
09:12But I...
09:13You're in charge.
09:14I am.
09:15So, thank you for bringing this to my attention.
09:18Email me her chart.
09:19I'll do my best to advocate for our patient.
09:29Dr. Singh says there's a heart available right now and she'd be next on the list.
09:33That we could do the transplant tomorrow morning.
09:34I know what he says.
09:35But things are moving fast and I need to warn you that there is a...
09:38Wait.
09:39You don't agree?
09:41She's not even in the ICU right now.
09:43There are treatments that could sustain her life for years
09:46before a transplant would be necessary.
09:49And she'd be in just as good a position then as she is today?
09:51There's no way to know.
09:52But even if it went well, all the immunosuppressants she'll have to take.
09:56All the... complications that she'll be facing.
09:59Don't let Dr. Singh make you think that this is a magic solution.
10:03Then why is he suggesting it?
10:05I'm sure he thinks it's inevitable.
10:09But you should know.
10:10She might not even survive a transplant.
10:13If it were me, I would take the time that I know I have right now.
10:25I appreciate you telling me.
10:51Something's changed.
10:54We're very sorry to tell you.
10:55It's that spot on her lung.
10:57What is it?
10:58We still don't know yet.
10:59Then what's the problem?
11:01We had to report what we saw to you.
11:04You ratted us out?
11:05Well, you're not even sure if it's an issue?
11:06We will do everything we can to get her well enough for the next available heart.
11:10Next available?
11:12She is hanging on by a thread.
11:13There are treatments that we can use.
11:15That's what you told me the last time and now look her.
11:17She's in the ICU.
11:19Sorry, I don't remember.
11:20You never even wanted us to get the transplant in the first place.
11:22And now you're doing it again.
11:24You're upset?
11:24We get that.
11:25Not a word to her.
11:26You got it?
11:29I never should have let you anywhere near us today.
11:35I'll get those tests going.
11:41What was that all about?
11:43A ghost of Christmas past come back to haunt me.
11:46I guess I wasn't so lovable back then after all.
11:59I'm not gonna let it happen again.
12:03Not this time.
12:36Hand me a radio and get in the elevator.
12:38Wait, wait, wait.
12:39What do you think I'm messing around?
12:41Hand me a radio and get out of here.
12:44Okay.
13:03Sir, excuse me sir, hey, hey, hey what's going on man?
13:17I'm not messing around, you, I need to talk to whoever's in charge right now, you stay right there, I
13:24need Dr. Humda immediately, we shot him, get back, I think it's a femoral artery, Alice you could die from
13:29that, we have to get him to the OR, you, I want you gone, get him out of here, what
13:37are you doing, shut up, just shut up, contractions are starting to organize, is that a problem?
13:45Meds just haven't kicked in yet, could just take some time, I'm sorry Dr. Humda, we need you out here,
13:50be right back, one of my guards confirmed he's armed, people heard gunshots, Dr. Humda, there's a man asking for
14:01you, he says he's on the 6th floor and he has a gun,
14:09This is Michael Humda, chief medical officer, who am I speaking with?
14:12Alex Cruz, I'm a cop, I'm armed, and I want my daughter's heart back
14:19Your daughter is Rosie
14:20You get me that heart in the next two hours or people up here start to die
14:23I'm told there were already gunshots
14:25One of your idiot doctors jumped me
14:27Dr. Coleman was shot, they're rushing into the OR
14:31I promise you
14:32We will do everything to get you that heart, but I need to get those other patients off the floor
14:37Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
14:38How do you think I'm going to stop the police from coming in there?
14:41You shot someone, now you need to show some goodwill if you really want to save your daughter
14:45Well, Rosie needs care, and I need hostages, so I'll keep who I want
14:48You can have the rest in exchange for the heart
14:50I understand
14:51You need a couple of doctors
14:54Maybe a nurse, that's it
14:59What's your name?
15:00Julie
15:02And you?
15:03Sonia, Matra
15:05I'll keep Nurse Julie, Dr. Matra, and Dr. Larson
15:11She's the reason we're here, she's not going anywhere
15:14What do you mean by that?
15:15And just remember, if my daughter dies, I've got nothing to lose!
15:36Hey, I need some help with this bed
15:41There's another patient at 624
15:43It's okay, guys, we're back, come on, let's go
15:47Okay, hang on there, buddy, just hold on
15:49Keep squeezing my hand, TJ, just keep squeezing
15:51Don't come up here, not till I'm out of surgery
15:53We're the surgeons!
15:54Right here, it's me, Jaeger
15:55He's AB negative, hypotensive, attack, he lost at least 1100 cc's here, take over
15:58Get the ONG on the rapid infuser, prep a central line
16:01They got you, man
16:03Team 4 moving in
16:05This will be the command post now, so I need everybody moved to a different floor, and any new OB
16:09patients divert
16:11We'll have our teams in position and a hostage negotiator to Courtney
16:14No, he already said he won't talk to anyone but me
16:16Michael!
16:18What's going on?
16:21Dr. Heller, are you all right?
16:22Yeah, I'm fine, this is, it's mostly TJ's blood
16:26What can you tell us? Is he working alone? Was this planned?
16:29No, it was definitely improvised, and yeah, he's alone, he's trying to cover both ends of the hallway from the
16:33ICU, so
16:34Plenty of directions to go at him
16:36We're not taking an aggressive approach just yet, okay?
16:38Not with a cock who knows how to handle himself
16:40This guy already shot one of our doctors
16:41Which means he's willing to shoot more
16:43No, we're not going in
16:44Not if we can find another way right now
16:46He's got a problem with Amy
16:47This is personal?
16:48I know, any idea why?
16:50Whatever it is, it all started before I got here
16:54Give me your phones!
17:02Okay, what do we got to do to get it ready?
17:05I don't know what to do to help you until I understand why I'm the reason that this is happening
17:11You can't be serious
17:13I was in a car accident four months ago, lost a lot of my memory
17:17Give me a break!
17:18It's true
17:22Six years ago, you talked us out of the transplant
17:25And we were never in a better position than we were that day
17:28So there must have been a reason, did I tell you why?
17:31You convinced us she wouldn't be much better with a new heart
17:34Scared us enough that we went against the cardiologist
17:36Now I'm done with the past!
17:41You said she has an abscess that needs to be dealt with
17:44What do we got to do?
17:44I said I hoped it was an abscess and that we needed a CAT scan in order to help locate
17:49the spot
17:50Well we're not moving so you got to deal with it here
17:51We can drain it with ultrasound guidance
17:54Do you know how to do that?
18:25No, but I saw you do it last year
18:26Rosie was eligible for a transplant six years ago and Amy discouraged it but I don't see why
18:32Right after Danny died
18:33Anytime her patient was a child she pushed the parents towards caution
18:37Sometimes she was right
18:40Sometimes maybe not
18:44We had an argument this morning
18:46I was ignoring her calls
18:50Yunus agreed to send the heart
18:51Surgeons at Eastside are preparing the removal as we speak
18:54Do they know what's happening here?
18:55I told them we confirmed Rosie's viable
18:57We were lucky they didn't find another recipient yet
19:00I also said you're on your way to Eastside to receive the heart
19:03There's an ambulance waiting
19:07Does the board know what you just did?
19:10I'm not involving them right now
19:22Hey sweetheart
19:23Dad, what's going on over there?
19:25With Nora? She's okay
19:26No, no, there's a guy with a gun
19:27It's all over the internet
19:28Is it a prank?
19:29Um, no
19:30We do have an incident
19:31But the police are here
19:32Everything's under control
19:33What about mom?
19:35Because she's not answering her phone
19:36We had to evacuate a bunch of people from her floor
19:39So she's going to be swamped for the next few hours
19:41But she's fine
19:41She's nowhere near the problem
19:46Just go back to your classes
19:47Let me deal with what's going on here, okay?
19:50Okay
19:51And tell mom to call me as soon as she can?
19:53Of course
19:54Love you
19:54Bye
20:01How am I going to avoid the pulmonary artery?
20:03You used the sternal notch as a landmark last time
20:10Okay
20:14Syringe
20:22Favor the midline
20:27How risky is that?
20:29Very
20:29Very
20:30Very
20:32Alpha, beta
20:33Prepare to go on my order
20:34Copy
20:35Standing by
20:37How's my angle?
20:39Too steep
20:40You're close to the branch artery
20:42Oh, I see it
20:46Too shallow
20:47And you'll miss the abscess
20:50Got it
20:55Gauze
20:57Julie
20:58Julie
21:03Julie
21:04Julie
21:05Hey, try to keep it together
21:06I'm sorry
21:07I keep thinking about my
21:10They're 12 and 14
21:12And my ex is
21:13Okay, okay
21:13Just try to breathe
21:17Pass Sonny the gauze
21:23I'm at the wall
21:32Urine
21:34What's going on?
21:36I'm about to drain the fluid out of the lungs
21:38If it comes out as gray pus as I suspect
21:41Then that means it's a localized infection
21:43And it can be drained
21:44And she can receive the heart
21:46Correct
21:46And if you're wrong?
21:48Yeah, it'll come back blood
21:50And you will have done all this for nothing
21:54Better hope you're right
22:07Okay
22:12What's next?
22:14You let me call down to the OR
22:17What for?
22:19To find out what happened to TJ
22:22Dr. Coleman
22:23Our friend
22:25The one whose parents are cops
22:28You remember him?
22:36Use that one
22:55Operating room
22:56This is Liz Kwan
22:57Liz, it's Dr. Larson
22:59What can you tell us?
23:06Okay
23:07Can you call the ICU
23:09When you know more?
23:18He's losing circulation
23:21They don't know if he's going to make it
23:37What did you tell Rosie's father?
23:39Did you not see the anomalous pulmonary vein?
23:42Of course I did
23:43It's benign
23:44Unless you put a new heart in her
23:46Then you could have massive pulmonary hypertension
23:48Never seen that complication
23:50Maybe you should read last month's case reports in the Lancet
23:53If you're so sure, why don't you tell them that?
23:55Because I'm not going to take away all their hope
23:57We extend our life as long as possible
23:59And when the time comes
24:01We have the conversation
24:02Well, I'll let you be the one to take that on
24:05You break it
24:06You own it
24:33He isn't going to die
24:40Is Plasmapheresis working?
24:42Yeah
24:42Just an hour until the blood's clean
24:44Then the transplant
24:45And then we're out of here
24:45If they can get us the heart
24:48I mean, how long do you think it's going to be
24:49Before Eastside or Yunos
24:51Figure out that Michael lied
24:53I thought you were the badass
24:55Trying to calm me down
24:56No
24:56Just tired and scared
24:59Hoping to see my daughter again
25:02Well
25:04That badass is still in there somewhere
25:09Truth
25:12I kind of miss her
25:27I'm Dr. Heller here for the heart
25:30It's a pretty gnarly situation over there
25:32Oh, yeah
25:35But transplants in a completely different way
25:38I think I better give them a call
25:41Sure
25:42Best asked for Michael Hamda
25:44That's our CMO
25:45She's 50% of face
25:47Five centimeters diving
25:48I thought the medication
25:49Was supposed to slow this down
25:50What about the lungs?
25:51Whatever happens
25:52We'll deal with it
25:53But now we're in labor
25:54Have the neonatologist standing by
25:56Dr. Hamda
25:56You're needed on the phone again
25:58It's a nurse from Eastside now
25:59I'm so sorry
26:00Michael
26:01Two minutes
26:01I promise
26:04Uh-huh
26:06Right
26:07And you'll send me an email to that effect
26:13You guys are on the same page
26:14We're just waiting for the family to sign off
26:22Little hiccup at Eastside
26:25Any word on TJ?
26:27He's touching go
26:34It's Katie
26:40Hey, sweetheart
26:41Dad, I've been texting you
26:43I'm sorry
26:44Nora's in labor now
26:45She's in labor?
26:47It's okay
26:47The baby's fine
26:48Well, I haven't heard from Mom
26:49I want to come over there
26:51No, absolutely not
26:54Sorry
26:55Um
26:56There's just no way
26:57The police won't let anyone in
26:58So it's not over yet
27:00It's not resolved
27:01But it's contained
27:02And no one's going to get hurt
27:03Okay?
27:04Just trust me
27:05Please
27:05Okay
27:06Have Mom call me
27:07And keep me updated on Nora
27:09Love you, Dad
27:10I love you
27:12Bye
27:34I heard Rosie was back
27:35Back and forth
27:38That's all we do
27:39I was very sorry to hear about your wife
27:42COVID
27:45They wouldn't even let me in the room to say goodbye
27:48It was an awful time
27:52Somebody told me you became head of the department
27:54Yes
27:55I did
28:00You told us to wait
28:03With Rosie
28:03You said it'd be better
28:06And she's had some good periods
28:07She's deteriorating
28:09And now we can't even get her in good enough health
28:11To qualify for a transplant
28:12If that's the direction you want to take
28:14It is
28:15It was
28:16Until you talked us out of it
28:17I gave you the advice
28:19That I would have wanted
28:21As a mother
28:23Yes
28:24Well, the cardiologist gave us his advice as a doctor
28:28Maybe you should have stuck to that
28:39I think that's mine
28:41Probably one of my kids
28:50Amy, Amy, don't do anything to rile him up
28:54I know you can hear those phones
28:58Those must be our loved ones
29:00Trying to get a hold of us
29:06You can talk to yours
29:08When I can talk to mine
29:11Look, the thing is
29:13Rosie's stable now
29:14The heart should be here any minute
29:16And I get that you're never going to let me go
29:18But you don't need all of us here
29:21You think I'm a monster?
29:24I didn't mean to shoot your friend
29:27That'll matter
29:28When all this is over
29:41You
29:44Time to get out of here
29:46You heard me, go
29:48Julie, go
29:49Go, go, go, go, go, go
29:53I will see you on the other side
29:54You better go before I change my mind
29:56Okay
29:58Please, please don't hurt them
30:00You don't want them to get hurt?
30:02Tell them to send Rosie's heart up here
30:07We went in to say our last goodbyes
30:09And I know you all were counting on having that heart
30:13But we're having second thoughts
30:17We're sorry
30:18Truly, we're just
30:20We're having a real tough time with it
30:27I see you're all wearing crosses
30:30So
30:31I don't know, maybe you noticed this
30:35It's called a chai
30:38It means life
30:40When I was a kid preparing for my bar mitzvah
30:43The rabbi told me a saying from the Talmud that I never forgot
30:49Whoever saves one life
30:50It's as if they saved the entire world
30:54Every organ that your son donates
30:56Will go to a different patient
30:58Each one another life
31:01And with that, all the generations have followed until the end of time
31:12Please
31:18Hey, mommy
31:19How are you doing?
31:22Can you hear me?
31:25What the hell is happening?
31:27She's tacky, hypotensive
31:28What does that mean?
31:29Her heart's not pumping strong enough right now
31:31If you back up, we can work on it
31:32Pulmonary wedge pressure's up to 20
31:34Or two sets of falling
31:35Neck veins dilated
31:36Fluid overload
31:37Left side failure
31:38You said she was stable
31:40Something's wrong
31:42Looks like she's losing oxygen
31:45Old teens
31:46Hope to go
31:48Baby's having D-cells
31:49What does that mean?
31:50The umbilical cord's getting squeezed by the contractions
31:53He's gotta come out now
32:01I need that heart up here
32:03What the hell is taking so long?
32:04It just arrived
32:04We'll let you know when it's in the building
32:07It's here
32:08Now what are we doing?
32:09Do you have us under control?
32:10We're doing everything we can
32:11I never should have let that nurse go
32:13That has nothing to do with us, Alan
32:14You fix her!
32:17All teams go on my order
32:19Where's Dr. Heller?
32:21Dr. Singh?
32:22Thank you so much for getting back to me
32:25Baby's crowning
32:26Heart rate's 97
32:27Dr. Honda
32:28Who does the man have to talk to?
32:29Who the hell is Cruz?
32:30I can't
32:31Just tell Jenkins to talk to him
32:37Things are going to hell up there
32:39But we've got the transplant team standing by
32:40We've got Cruz again
32:43Yeah, we've got the heart
32:44We sent it up with the transplant team
32:46We sent down the women
32:47You think I'm falling for that?
32:48We both know you're sending some UCs in scrubs
32:51Give me someone I've seen before
32:54I want you to see the heart first
32:55He wants it with someone who recognizes him
32:57That's me, tell him I'm going
32:58Great
32:59I just got off the phone with Rosie's old cardiologist
33:02You need to know what he said
33:26There's no way, Amy
33:28No way
33:34Stay right there
33:42Open the cooler
33:43I want to see it
33:44I can't open it without corrupting the heart
33:47Don't give me that
33:48Alex
33:50It isn't going to work
33:54Nothing we do now will save her
33:56What are you talking about?
33:57No
33:58She has abnormal blood vessels in her lung
34:00Which aren't working at all
34:02That's happening because we delayed
34:04That's what it is
34:05This is exactly what Dr. Larson thought would happen six years ago
34:08She saw thickening of the intimal lining of Rosie's pulmonary arteries
34:12But the cardiologist didn't get how dangerous it would be
34:14No, she never said that
34:15It's Alex
34:15She never said that
34:16Alex, it's not going to work
34:19It was never going to work
34:20Not now, not then
34:22But she
34:22She lied
34:23For your benefit
34:24Because she wanted you to have some hope
34:26It's because I'm not going to take away all their hope
34:31Okay, she gave you those years with your daughter
34:33That you never would have had
34:34No
34:34I don't care what you say
34:36Get the transplant team up here
34:37We're doing it right now
34:39You break it
34:40You own it
34:40We're going to do it right now
34:42Enough
34:43Enough
34:44He has a daughter
34:46I have a daughter
34:47She has parents and people who love her
34:51How do you think they feel right now?
34:52How do you think TJ's parents feel?
34:57Is he even alive?
34:59We don't know
35:04Rosie's dying
35:06These are the last moments that you are ever going to spend with her
35:11How do you want to do that?
35:14Blaming everyone around you
35:15Or holding her hand and telling her that you love her
35:18You said you could save her
35:19We tried, Alex
35:21We tried
35:22But you didn't say that then
35:23You didn't tell me that then
35:25Because she lost her kid
35:31A few months before you walked in here with Rosie
35:35She was suffering
35:36And she was doing anything she could
35:37To keep anyone else from suffering the same way
35:41She knew you'd be furious with her later
35:43But she didn't care
35:44She was just trying to give you that time
35:45And she didn't want death hanging over you
35:50You were there?
35:51No
35:52But I know her
35:58And I know her heart
36:05Pain changes people
36:06Alex
36:07I know that
36:10I know that this isn't who you are
36:14So please
36:16We can give Rosie something to revive her for a few minutes
36:23To say goodbye
36:44Can you still get that to someone else who needs it?
36:48We could try
36:51Then go
36:55I swear I won't hurt them
37:27Oh, that's familiar
37:31Is I'm always in between
37:34The pressure and the peace
37:43When I was younger
37:46I lived on solid ground
37:50So far from where I am right now
37:54No, I'm not walking on old stones
38:03Anymore
38:07Anymore
38:10I found my way
38:13With my eyes closed
38:15I'll be safe
38:17Even when the sun is low
38:20Trying to stay out low
38:26I found my way
38:28With my eyes closed
38:30I'll be safe
38:32Even when the sun is low
38:35Even when the sun is low
38:37Trying to stay out low
38:40I keep my head above the line
38:45Believe the best
38:48Even in the highest time
38:50Trying to stay out low
38:54And I know what else
39:05I'm taking it all
39:09Cause this is a road I
39:12But I'll be alright no matter where it goes
39:18Even though I'm walking on no stones anymore
39:30Anymore
39:34I'll find my way with my eyes closed
39:38I'll be safe even when the sun is low
39:43Trying to stay afloat
39:49I'll keep my head above the line
39:53Believe the best even in the highest time
39:58Trying to stay afloat
40:02And I know what else
40:09And I know what else
40:13I know what, I know what, I know what
40:20I'll find my way with my eyes closed
40:23I'll be safe even when the sun is low
40:28Trying to stay afloat
40:32Trying to stay afloat
40:34I'll keep my head above the line
40:39Believe the best even in the highest time
40:45Trying to stay afloat
40:47And I know what else
40:54And I know what else
40:58And I know what else
41:06And I know what else
41:20This morning
41:21You'll see some texts from me
41:23I love you no matter what
41:24Please don't die
41:25That kind of thing
41:29I had a memory
41:31What?
41:33Well, two small hits from the same memory
41:36Me and Rosie's cardiologist having an argument
41:42Wow
41:43This can happen from acute trauma, right?
41:47Absolutely
41:47Which means my brain is back online?
41:50In some ways, yes
41:51More memories can happen now
41:54I don't want to wait
41:55I want you to put me in the tank
41:58Amy
42:00If I'd had my memories
42:01None of this would have happened today
42:03You don't know that
42:04I do
42:06The doctor that I was
42:08Knew that Rosie wouldn't survive a heart transplant
42:11But I did not see that today
42:14Not until it was too late
42:17I'm sure you think I should go home and rest
42:19But home
42:22Home
42:24Is the house where Michael lives
42:26With his new wife and baby
42:29And half of me is
42:32Still trapped in that time
42:35And the other half wants a man that I don't even remember
42:40I get you want Jake
42:42And to be the doctor you were
42:44But you can't just decide
42:45I am not deciding
42:49Now I know that it's possible
42:51I need all of it back
42:56Put me in the tank
42:57Please, Gina
43:00Tonight
43:02Add to the light
43:02All night
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