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Short filmTranscript
00:00:08What's the problem now?
00:00:10He was bloody rude.
00:00:12You didn't hear him off with the coffee, that's all.
00:00:15He didn't pass me a plate.
00:00:16I saw him doing it.
00:00:18I'm not going to his dump of the house again.
00:00:20He's lived there a year, but still isn't built in sight.
00:00:24It's disgusting to expect people to eat there.
00:00:31And anyway, I'm just your appendage.
00:00:34That's not true.
00:00:36You're sticking up for him again.
00:00:38I am.
00:00:41What are you smiling at? It's not funny, you know.
00:00:43It was lunch. Some flickers, a gaggle of gaze.
00:00:47I had a good time.
00:00:48In this instance, you're wrong.
00:00:50End of.
00:00:51End of?
00:00:52Who do you think you are? My mother.
00:00:55Girlfriend, perhaps?
00:00:59You should take my side. Not his. Not anyone else's.
00:01:04I can't do that when you're wrong. We've talked about this before.
00:01:07No, it doesn't matter whether I'm right or wrong.
00:01:09You should stick up for me.
00:01:12It's the same difference.
00:01:13And I do stick up for you.
00:01:16All the time.
00:01:18Why doesn't it feel that way then?
00:01:20I don't know.
00:01:28I don't know.
00:01:29One of those sandwiches was vegan.
00:01:31Jordan forgot again.
00:01:33I'm lactose intolerant.
00:01:34Oh, what was it?
00:01:36What about me?
00:01:38We can't be in each other's pockets 24-7.
00:01:41It's not good for us.
00:01:42Why not?
00:01:42I've got my rugby, my mates, my mum, work, you.
00:01:47Jane and Julie spend all their time together.
00:01:50They're miserable.
00:01:55I want a baby.
00:01:58Well, I don't.
00:02:02Get out of my car! Get out!
00:02:05We're in the middle of nowhere.
00:02:06I don't care! Get out of my fucking car!
00:02:08Get out! I made it! Get out!
00:02:11Fuck off!
00:02:49I shouldn't look at you the way I do.
00:02:54I'm secure in my sexual needs.
00:02:59Now I ain't got a clue.
00:03:04The feelings are starting to sink in my heart.
00:03:10Deep into my heart, deep into my soul.
00:03:11my soul. These desires are in both of us. Come on, let them know. Secrets should be
00:03:24discussed. What's happened? What's happened to you the way I feel? What's happened to you?
00:03:35What's happened to you?
00:03:52Even in this crowded room, people laugh and scream and shout. I'm drawn closer to you.
00:04:05What's all this about?
00:04:13All my feelings are an illusion. You should be my best friend. Not cause of this confusion.
00:04:26What's happened? What's happened to you the way I feel?
00:04:33What's happened to you? What's happened to you?
00:04:53What's happened to you the way I feel? What's happened to you the way I feel?
00:05:19What's happened to you the way I feel?
00:05:20What was happened to you?
00:05:21What's happened to you the way I feel? What's happened here?
00:05:34What do you think of our great stories about our investors?
00:05:35What do you think of the difference?
00:05:37My god, we were lucky. Lucky to get out alive.
00:05:40My office. My business. What the fuck?
00:05:43What happened? Electrical?
00:05:46I told you to get rid of that toaster.
00:05:49It wasn't heirloom.
00:06:00We need a place to work. Now.
00:06:05me
00:06:051
00:06:06I don't know.
00:06:13I don't know.
00:06:36My mother's sick yesterday.
00:06:37Lady bitch.
00:06:39Have you just done a double shift again?
00:06:43Bloody have.
00:06:44It's not good for you not getting your sleep.
00:06:47Got you by the balls there.
00:06:49I have no fucking choice.
00:06:50I know.
00:06:51I know.
00:06:52Dance or fuck off.
00:06:55And half the buggers in here need putting down anyway.
00:06:58Room 65.
00:07:00I haven't left her bed for three years.
00:07:01Poor cow.
00:07:03It's forever shit isn't it?
00:07:05Don't smell it anymore.
00:07:07I look for another job.
00:07:10But with this work nobody ever sees you as anything other than a bum wiper.
00:07:17I'm a qualified electrical engineer.
00:07:20Never thought I'd end up in a shithole like this.
00:07:26I went into this because I cared.
00:07:30But the wages have gone down and I can't live on it.
00:07:36Capitalism.
00:07:42Best get on with it then.
00:07:44Wash time Nora.
00:07:45Oh lift her up.
00:07:49Keep still you stupid old bitch.
00:07:52Grab her hair.
00:07:57She broke her fucking nose.
00:08:23Hello.
00:08:24Miss Tingle.
00:08:25This is David Newby here.
00:08:27I'm the carer in charge of your mother.
00:08:29You got my message then?
00:08:30Er, yes I did.
00:08:32Well then you can see why I'm annoyed.
00:08:34Your mother attacked another patient and some nurses.
00:08:37It's in a record that she's violent when she's in an environment that she's not familiar
00:08:40with.
00:08:40And why didn't the alarm go off when she left her room?
00:08:42I'm not at liberty to discuss that.
00:08:45Of course you're not.
00:08:47We cannot pull that out of rubbish.
00:08:48Therefore, I'm under no obligation to discuss this matter with you any further.
00:08:52We need to find another place for your mother to go.
00:08:55Yes, you do.
00:08:56But I've done your job already.
00:08:58I've found a place I'll be picking up my mother later.
00:09:00Goodbye.
00:09:16Oh, I am loving this home working situation.
00:09:21It's only until I find a new office.
00:09:27Alright, get out of it.
00:09:29What's happened now?
00:09:30Nothing.
00:09:32Nothing.
00:09:33Why?
00:09:34I can always tell when your panties are in a bunch.
00:09:38Don't worry Laura.
00:09:40Jordan and I have known each other a long time.
00:09:43Too long.
00:09:44Another bad weekend?
00:09:47Yeah, until we came to yours for lunch.
00:09:49That beef was very expensive.
00:09:52Yeah, but you didn't offer her any coffee.
00:09:54Yes, I did.
00:09:55She's deaf.
00:09:57Did she go off on one again?
00:09:59Moan about my house?
00:10:02Major meltdown.
00:10:03So I ruined your weekend?
00:10:06Ah, you know me.
00:10:07I'll see the best in everything.
00:10:09I had a lovely time skipping through the piss needles.
00:10:16Goddammit.
00:10:21I've allocated the budget for this application.
00:10:24Good.
00:10:25The client's breathing down my neck on top.
00:10:27I thought you were a top.
00:10:29I am.
00:10:29It'll sort the incoming information into chronological order
00:10:33and then in order of importance.
00:10:44Another developer.
00:10:46They're raising a ticket.
00:10:48People don't like that, do they?
00:10:52It's procedure.
00:10:53You simplified the process as well.
00:10:57At least dumb buggers can't cope.
00:11:00I had a girlfriend once who was rich.
00:11:03She didn't even earn her own money.
00:11:05She inherited it.
00:11:07Her family owned pine forests in Scotland
00:11:10since the 17th century.
00:11:15You know, we lived in Paris when she dumped me.
00:11:29About time.
00:11:31I was in a meeting.
00:11:32You're always in a meeting.
00:11:34What do you want?
00:11:35Just called to say hello.
00:11:39I've been invited to drinks at Jordan's on Friday.
00:11:42I'm not going.
00:11:43I'll go on my own.
00:11:45What'll I do?
00:11:47I don't know.
00:11:51What's wrong?
00:11:53Are you serious?
00:11:55You dumping me in the middle of nowhere
00:11:56at the side of the road,
00:11:57that's what's the problem.
00:11:59I came back for you.
00:12:01But you were gone.
00:12:09Wasn't our works fine?
00:12:25Nora Tingles escaped again.
00:12:27What?
00:12:28How?
00:12:29The alarm pad in her room was never mended.
00:12:31I reported it three weeks ago.
00:12:33But who's looking for her?
00:12:34No one.
00:12:35I'm not.
00:12:36I've not got the time.
00:12:38And she's been missing, as far as I can tell,
00:12:41for a couple hours.
00:12:42Christ.
00:12:43Bloody useless.
00:12:45Don't blame me.
00:12:46It's your tight rein on the budget that caused this.
00:12:50Not me.
00:12:58For fuck's sake.
00:13:10That report you asked as well?
00:13:12Not fast.
00:13:14Well, I don't like to have a lot of work left from my desk.
00:13:20How long have you known Bert for then?
00:13:23About five years.
00:13:24We worked with another company together.
00:13:30Do you want me to put in a word for you?
00:13:31Of course not.
00:13:33You sly old dog.
00:13:35I'm home now.
00:13:36You ready?
00:13:48You ready?
00:13:52All right, bad delivery!
00:13:54No.
00:14:09I'm not a problem.
00:14:10It's a challenge.
00:14:12No!
00:14:12I'm not a problem.
00:14:14I'm not a problem.
00:14:14You can't wait for it.
00:14:16I'm not a problem.
00:14:17What happened?
00:14:27Okay come on ladies, let's set up, we'll go for two V1s.
00:14:33Ready?
00:14:37Yep, that's right.
00:14:38Yep, ready.
00:14:39There we go.
00:14:41No more for you.
00:14:43And up.
00:14:44Have a new look Hannah.
00:14:45Yeah.
00:14:46Just wait.
00:14:47Yeah.
00:14:48Wait.
00:14:49Imagine of life.
00:14:53Yeah don't ask.
00:14:56Do your mum alright?
00:14:58Ah, so so.
00:15:01You know how it is.
00:15:05Come on!
00:15:07Yes, go on girl.
00:15:10Yep.
00:15:16You have to drag me though don't you?
00:15:26I might be away from you.
00:15:33I'm gonna be waking up all night.
00:15:34You're my dream.
00:15:36You're my dream.
00:15:42You're my dream.
00:15:44I'll be back.
00:15:44You're my dream.
00:15:45You know what I was waiting for you?
00:15:48I'm ready.
00:15:57Are you alright?
00:15:58You alright mate, is it going?
00:16:00Yeah it's fine.
00:16:20Give me your key.
00:16:21I live here.
00:16:22Pack your shit and get out.
00:16:24Where will I go?
00:16:25Out!
00:16:52That's mine.
00:16:58And you can take your spunk with you.
00:17:27You can take your spunk.
00:17:52really
00:17:53mom come back
00:18:03mom
00:18:05mom
00:18:08mom
00:18:20where's bertha
00:18:23i'm bertha mom
00:18:25i know you are i want to go to the park
00:18:29so we give you a wash then first
00:18:38day
00:18:38your dad did love you you know
00:18:41yeah when he wasn't at work
00:18:44it's not our fault you're a dyke
00:18:47it's not my fault either
00:18:55it's a nice world map they've given you
00:18:59who gives a fuck about that
00:19:22she's gone
00:19:24really
00:19:26you know
00:19:27i just cleared up the mess
00:19:28i'll be there in five
00:19:31bring tequila
00:19:32carl louis here
00:19:35i've moved nowhere tingle at clearview house
00:19:42she was meeting men on the sly
00:19:45bloody bitch
00:19:46no seriously
00:19:47i am
00:19:48i can't find anyone
00:19:52oh she left a bottle of spunk on the kitchen side
00:19:57where'd she find them
00:19:59online
00:20:00i'm online
00:20:01what am i doing wrong
00:20:04i um
00:20:06hacked her email account
00:20:12you're bad
00:20:13you're bad bertha tingle
00:20:14really bad
00:20:15yeah
00:20:16she'd meet them at a local salmon shop
00:20:18drag them back here
00:20:19and
00:20:20milk them
00:20:21oh nasty
00:20:24depends on your perspective
00:20:26well
00:20:27here's to being single
00:20:30again
00:20:41they have over them don't they
00:20:45definitely
00:20:48don't want you blowing up in this meeting do we? getting all windy
00:20:58oh
00:20:59there's no sugar
00:21:11it's four sugars isn't it?
00:21:14yes that's right
00:21:15four
00:21:18i'll put them in for you
00:21:38i don't do dating apps
00:21:46maybe you two should date
00:21:48maybe you two should date
00:21:53she's too good for me
00:21:54um
00:21:55no not really
00:22:03what's so funny about that?
00:22:06nothing
00:22:07nothing i don't know
00:22:08we just work together
00:22:11it's not something i thought about
00:22:13you have got you don't you laura
00:22:17i've got you a date
00:22:20i've got you a date
00:22:24on clitoring.com
00:22:25on clitoring.com
00:22:32wow you're popular
00:22:34must be that photo i took with you in tunisia in a sauna
00:22:39what have you done
00:22:40what have you done
00:23:02oh hi
00:23:04oh hi i'm bertha
00:23:05bertha
00:23:06bertha tickle
00:23:06jenny downs
00:23:13right
00:23:15right
00:23:17it's a sight joke
00:23:18someone keeps trying to put the court back in
00:23:22oh
00:23:22oh right yeah i see it now
00:23:26oh
00:23:27yeah
00:23:30oh
00:23:31rugby eh
00:23:32i've never played it
00:23:34watch it on tv though
00:23:35yeah my dad got me into it
00:23:37oh so you can watch you play
00:23:39he's dead
00:23:40but i only coach now
00:23:42oh
00:23:43shame that
00:23:45me mam's dead
00:23:47hard knocks eh
00:23:49it's life
00:23:51yeah
00:23:53so
00:23:54IT
00:23:55you must have a brain on you
00:23:58i'm dyslexic actually
00:24:00but it's head of robotics process automation
00:24:04no books for you then
00:24:06you're not missing much honestly
00:24:23i work part time in a shopping town
00:24:25oh which one
00:24:27jock and roll
00:24:28i'm a barista
00:24:30trained and all
00:24:39i've er
00:24:40got another secret
00:24:43i'm a gamer
00:24:45oh that's brill
00:24:46oh so am i
00:24:47i
00:24:47i love it
00:24:49oh right
00:24:50cos er
00:24:52i've got a right bean on
00:25:06i'm
00:25:07here dude
00:25:07i'm
00:25:07i'm
00:25:10ah
00:25:12i'm
00:25:22stay
00:25:23my
00:25:31oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah keep oh keep going there oh my god yeah yeah yeah oh oh my
00:25:39god
00:25:56hello there how are you just about to have a horlicks horlicks oh yuck are you having an
00:26:04orgy and not inviting me no no do you want to go out on saturday night oh i'd love to
00:26:09um is birth coming can ask her if you'd like oh no you don't have to i i get it
00:26:18it'd be fun for
00:26:18all of us to go out okay uh if you're sure i'll message her now she's probably at home gaming
00:26:24or
00:26:24ironing ironing
00:26:52so
00:27:33Hello?
00:27:34Miss Tingle?
00:27:35Yeah?
00:27:37It's Benjamin Penderast from GWRK Homes.
00:27:39Yeah?
00:27:40I don't know how to say this, but...
00:27:42Just say it.
00:27:44Well, your mother's got missing.
00:27:46What?
00:27:47Is anyone out looking for her?
00:27:49Er, no.
00:27:50You useless bunch of bastards.
00:27:53Just forget it, all right?
00:27:54I'll find her myself.
00:28:22I'll find her myself.
00:28:25Hey, girl.
00:28:26Where are you?
00:28:28I'm looking for my mum.
00:28:31What?
00:28:32Well, she walked out the home.
00:28:35Where are you?
00:28:36Is there anything we can do?
00:28:37Oh, Laura, thank you.
00:28:39Oh, God.
00:28:42I don't think she'll have gone far.
00:28:44She wouldn't.
00:28:45Look.
00:28:47What was her favourite place?
00:28:49What do you mean?
00:28:51Did she have a favourite place before she was taken ill?
00:28:54Well, she has dementia, so...
00:28:58They remember that type of thing.
00:29:01Oh, they do?
00:29:02All right.
00:29:03Um...
00:29:05Well...
00:29:05Yes, the cemetery.
00:29:07She always called it the park.
00:29:08Yeah, that's it.
00:29:09The park.
00:29:10That's where she'll be.
00:29:10Try there.
00:29:12Oh, thank you.
00:29:13Yeah, I'll try there.
00:29:14Oh, thank you.
00:29:22Oh, thank you.
00:29:46Oh, thank you.
00:30:26Oh, thank you.
00:30:46I've submitted my reports for Ashfield House that's Friday.
00:30:48Yeah, right.
00:30:49I was late with mine for Clearfield House as we still have that plumbing issue in front of the rooms.
00:30:54Carl, the bed linen's not being changed on time?
00:30:57David, you're responsible for your own problems.
00:30:59You can't come in here and expect us to fix it.
00:31:01We're not saying you personally have to come along and help us.
00:31:04We just really need the money.
00:31:07We're sending them a request and they just go unanswered.
00:31:09There's a procedure to this.
00:31:10We just can't lose track of how things are done.
00:31:12Is there any way we can speed the process up?
00:31:14Make it more streamlined?
00:31:15Look, I simplify as well as I do.
00:31:18But there's no way we can change the run over of things.
00:31:21Simple as that.
00:31:22What about the condom machines?
00:31:23No.
00:31:24We can't have them.
00:31:25Why not?
00:31:26Three of my customers have got syphilis and one of them's got a raging case of gonorrhea.
00:31:31Condoms are a great idea.
00:31:32You need to give them other activities.
00:31:33We can't stop them from each other's rooms.
00:31:35It's a serious healthcare issue.
00:31:37Condom machines send the wrong kind of message.
00:31:39What's wrong with them having sex?
00:31:41Do you want to stop them humming?
00:31:42People know about it anyway.
00:31:44That explains why we're entry applications are through the roof.
00:31:47Explain that, please.
00:31:48Those people are queuing up for miles to get in the mine and David's ones.
00:32:02So, what do you want to do today?
00:32:05Never mind.
00:32:10It's a Saturday, one of my days off.
00:32:12It would be nice to do something.
00:32:29Another day in the paradise.
00:32:36What's up with your face, honestly?
00:32:44Sucking on lemons.
00:32:47I'm not going to suck on a smile.
00:32:50Be my guest, sweetheart.
00:32:56Wait.
00:33:04Come, please.
00:33:18Come, go to Dr.
00:33:22Do you want to pull that?
00:33:26new cleaner
00:33:28that's jenny my new friend
00:33:31you bean flickers know how to sew your oats don't you
00:33:34mum
00:33:38I warned you before
00:33:40you'll bake your bean
00:33:53I'm
00:33:54I'm
00:34:05I'm
00:34:05you
00:34:10I'm
00:34:11you
00:34:11I'm
00:34:31you didn't ask me to come to this place I did you could have said anything we could have gone
00:34:35to
00:34:35London park zoo Uranus you brought me here I wanted you to meet my mother it's full of old people
00:34:48well one day if you're lucky you might be old too
00:35:10that might be nice to have a dinner party please excuse the mess bit of decorating
00:35:18it's a nice way for you and you know Bertha to spend some time together eh
00:35:25she has a girlfriend
00:35:30he's been raving about her yeah well she never mentioned her to me may the best flicker win
00:36:07who wants a shot let's party
00:36:18show us your tears
00:36:30Jordan get me another drink
00:36:41Bertha that new app that you've created
00:36:46it's a marvel
00:36:49oh app I thought you worked in water
00:36:53Bertha creates robotic applications for lots of very important clients
00:37:08but what good is money anyway at a time like this eh
00:37:14you know there's only one white rhino left the platypus is almost extinct the ice caps are
00:37:26melting and all we care about is our next bloody cappuccino
00:37:33I've made chocolate surprise what's the surprise that would be telling
00:37:38I hope it's not orange I hate orange I'm very picky about what I eat and where I eat
00:37:45I've noticed
00:37:50Jenny what are you up to these days
00:37:52Jenny what are you up to these days
00:37:52I didn't tell you
00:37:54not a thing so you tell me
00:37:56I'm writing scripts actually
00:37:58motion pictures
00:37:59TV
00:38:01we're getting married
00:38:0880 guests
00:38:18okay I've sent the new app
00:38:20what about the other issue
00:38:21what issue
00:38:24your marriage
00:38:27I am not getting married
00:38:29you'll be off to Magaluf next for your tits out looking on some Greek clit for your hen weekend
00:38:33I'm never getting married
00:38:35why didn't you share the good news
00:38:36we are not getting married
00:38:46do you have any children
00:38:48no
00:38:49I have never been with anyone either good enough or long enough I suppose
00:38:54but I have one great nephew and I love him dearly and spoiled him terribly
00:39:00I'm sure
00:39:01he comes to visit me quite often
00:39:03I married a Frenchman
00:39:05at last
00:39:06what happened
00:39:07I chased another man to San Diego
00:39:10and when that didn't work out
00:39:12I couldn't face living in America anymore
00:39:14and ended up here
00:39:16with my last pen
00:39:19could you not clean up
00:39:21I've been busy
00:39:23doing what you don't work
00:39:25working on my script
00:39:27I'd like to read that sometime
00:39:29you're dyslexic
00:39:31I can't read you know
00:39:32there's no need to shout
00:39:34I've had a crap day
00:39:36and I've come home to this mess
00:39:37I'm not your maid
00:39:40and I'm not your sugar mummy
00:39:42he proposed to me
00:39:44under the shed of the Matterhorn
00:39:46he just climbed it
00:39:48I'm swimming
00:39:49I get a little
00:39:50I'm not your sir
00:39:55I'd like to go and find out
00:39:57you
00:39:57you
00:39:59you
00:41:30I found a station that does a D-line invitation for him to be 50 and over.
00:41:34We'll be having 80 guests.
00:41:39You look great in that.
00:41:43I'm not wearing a dress.
00:41:44I'm not wearing a dress either.
00:41:47We're not getting married.
00:41:50Who's going to pay for it all?
00:41:53I booked a meeting with a caterer.
00:41:57Then you need to cancel it.
00:41:59I'm not marrying you.
00:42:02Don't you love me?
00:42:04I'm not paying for a wedding.
00:42:10Hi, Jordan.
00:42:11No, no, yep.
00:42:12No, it's fine.
00:42:12I can speak.
00:42:19Yeah, yeah, no, it's all right.
00:42:20Yeah, I heard.
00:42:27Oh, nothing.
00:42:28I just popped out for something to eat.
00:42:39Oh, shit.
00:42:41I'll have to call you back.
00:42:43Oh, where's my car?
00:42:45Fucking crazy bitch.
00:43:00No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:43:38One key.
00:43:57Hey, you.
00:43:58It's been four days.
00:43:59You need to check in or call.
00:44:01We need another session at your place.
00:44:03We still can't find a suitable office
00:44:05and the big clients are coming on Friday.
00:44:07Call me, please.
00:44:19Your dad was in earlier.
00:44:22What did he have to say?
00:44:24Wanted to know where you've been.
00:44:27Said he hadn't seen you in ages.
00:44:30Did he?
00:44:31What?
00:44:33He never did understand what you do.
00:44:37Like early enough, right?
00:44:41How's that nice girlfriend of yours?
00:44:48I haven't got one.
00:44:53She came here the other day.
00:44:56She comes regularly.
00:44:58Reads to me.
00:45:01Lovely and calming.
00:45:08Is she?
00:45:17You'll want to keep that one.
00:45:20I'll try.
00:45:24She said you were busy at work.
00:45:31What's her name?
00:45:34Don't you remember your own girlfriend's name?
00:45:38Thought I was the simple one.
00:45:41You're not simple, Mum.
00:45:43I'm just a bit forgetful.
00:45:45Her name's Laura.
00:45:48Laura.
00:45:49Laura.
00:46:25You don't get to give me this shit, Miss.
00:46:28Sorry for my big-ass self.
00:46:31That's not the big.
00:46:33You've been AWOL for over a week.
00:46:35A lifetime.
00:46:36I've started seeing people.
00:46:38Right.
00:46:39You also don't get to be all jealous
00:46:41and bent out of shape
00:46:42at my newfound happiness, either.
00:46:45I'm not.
00:46:46You're happy for me.
00:46:48Yes.
00:46:48I'm going to tell you a face.
00:46:52That better?
00:46:54What's his name?
00:46:56Benjamin and Carl.
00:46:58They are lovely.
00:47:00Good for you.
00:47:03All I find are monsters and nutters.
00:47:07What's wrong with me?
00:47:10Nothing's wrong with you.
00:47:11It's them.
00:47:13Do I have twats dumped on my forehead?
00:47:15You have my fist imprinted there.
00:47:17You don't snap out of whatever this is
00:47:19and pull yourself together.
00:47:21Is it easy for you to say?
00:47:24I don't think so, do you?
00:47:25It's not easy for any queer out here,
00:47:28especially one as handsome as this.
00:47:30What should I do?
00:47:32Go out.
00:47:33Go online.
00:47:35Stop pushing it.
00:47:36Stop playing housey-wousey
00:47:38with each and every lezer
00:47:40that you meet on the street.
00:47:41I don't.
00:47:42You do.
00:47:43Listen, you're really into gaming.
00:47:45There's a gaming night at Leamington Spa tonight.
00:47:47Why don't you go to it here?
00:47:48I'd like to ask you to wear it.
00:47:51There's a car.
00:47:52Jordan's name.
00:47:59It's not easy for you to feel up.
00:48:00You're really into gaming.
00:48:00I don't.
00:48:00I don't.
00:48:01I don't?
00:48:06I don't.
00:48:07I don't.
00:48:08I don't.
00:48:08I don't, I don't.
00:48:17I don't know.
00:48:18I don't.
00:48:19I don't know.
00:48:19I don't know.
00:48:19I don't know.
00:50:04There you are, Mr. Jordan Tucker.
00:50:05There you are, Mr. Carl Lewis.
00:50:08What are you up to?
00:50:09Working.
00:50:10I've got a lot to catch up on since my office burnt down.
00:50:14I'd like to catch up with you.
00:50:16Sounds good.
00:50:17Will Benjamin be there as well?
00:50:21We'd like you to come over.
00:50:22I want to be the ham in your sandwich.
00:50:25The bottle's chilled, the bed's warm and the pickle jar's open.
00:50:29God, yes.
00:50:30Both of you, please.
00:50:32At once.
00:50:33I've got to finish here about an hour and I'll be free.
00:50:36Great.
00:50:37What do you do again?
00:50:38Create apps for workflow systems, budgets, timekeeping, business tracking.
00:50:42You know, so you can see at a glance how your company's performing.
00:50:46I don't know, I just own them in all people's homes.
00:50:49Yeah, you said.
00:50:51Aye, it sounds like it would do with your expertise.
00:50:53Not just those sexy lips of yours.
00:50:56I'm sure we can work something out.
00:50:59The assistants make crap workers do a better job.
00:51:02They can tell you how badly they're performing, yeah.
00:51:04Or how well.
00:51:06I'm only interested in catching the lazy ones.
00:51:08The ones interfering with proper margin.
00:51:11We'll talk later then, in bed.
00:51:14Talk?
00:51:15What about the other?
00:51:16You'll be seen by both of us later.
00:51:19Don't you worry about that, mister.
00:51:21Let yourself in.
00:51:24Mr. Lewis, Mr. Lewis, chew on my ear.
00:51:28Mr. Lewis, Mr. Lewis, make me your queen.
00:51:43Mr. Lewis, where are you?
00:51:45We've got a new client.
00:51:46Call me.
00:52:18Hey, you.
00:52:20Hey, you.
00:52:23Coffee?
00:52:25Yes, please.
00:53:47Good for you.
00:53:50Sorry I had to sneak off yesterday. I need to go see my mum.
00:53:53It's fine. You're all caught up. It's amazing how fast you work.
00:53:57That's what Laura says.
00:54:00What? How quick you are with your turn?
00:54:12Hello mum. How long have you been here?
00:54:17Oh, about half an hour. Good day?
00:54:20I was going to bring you here eventually.
00:54:23Oh, I've been coming here a while now.
00:54:29I thought she was confused.
00:54:32No, not all the time. I like to read to her and to talk.
00:54:38Blimey, really.
00:54:38My mother had it too. It was terrible.
00:54:43It hit my brother really hard.
00:54:46He was her favourite.
00:54:49Told you her name was Laura.
00:55:07So, what's the kind of holiday?
00:55:10Great. Should we go to the island of Lesbos?
00:55:12Yes.
00:55:14Do you even know where we're going?
00:55:17I don't really know.
00:55:18What's up with you?
00:55:19Did you turn that into here?
00:55:21But you're going to go without me.
00:55:38Yeah, we can do. It could track that.
00:55:49I need to talk to the team and find out, but I don't see why not.
00:55:58Oh, I'll get it.
00:56:04That's great news. I'll let the team know.
00:56:07Thank you. Bye.
00:56:10Bad news?
00:56:11Don't fish. Another satisfied customer.
00:56:14So, how was your long holiday?
00:56:18Two weeks of...
00:56:20...perfection.
00:56:21...
00:56:24...
00:56:35...
00:56:36...
00:56:36...
00:56:37...
00:56:38...
00:57:00Who ordered all the deldos?
00:57:23Hey darling. You've been busy today.
00:57:27So, so.
00:57:28Something wrong?
00:57:30You tell me.
00:57:31I saw the text from Big Dave.
00:57:35Look, I can, I can explain.
00:57:38Don't bother. I can't cope.
00:57:40I should have asked you if you're bisexual or whatever sexual you are.
00:57:45I just want one person or woman to love me.
00:57:49Just one.
00:57:51It's over.
00:57:52Wait, no. No, it's over.
00:57:56No, it's over.
00:58:20No, it's over.
00:58:21...
00:58:37...
00:58:38Right let's get set up, doing some rocking.
00:58:53Two on the backs, three clear out.
00:59:02Two on the backs, three clear out.
00:59:04Take a step with you, with you, with you.
00:59:06Yeah, go in, go in.
00:59:07Get back, get back, get back.
00:59:1080 guests, eh?
00:59:16What?
00:59:18Who have you been talking to?
00:59:20Oh, you know, everyone on the team talks.
00:59:22Getting married, aren't you?
00:59:25No.
00:59:30Oh.
00:59:32Oh.
00:59:35Hi, I came to read to Nora.
00:59:40You don't have to, you know.
00:59:43I come for her.
00:59:45Not for any other reason.
00:59:47Well, is it appropriate?
00:59:48What, reading to someone?
00:59:50You know what I mean.
00:59:52Weather, weather, weather.
00:59:54Weather.
00:59:56It's not been good.
00:59:58Too much rain.
01:00:00Weather, weather.
01:00:02Weather.
01:00:04Look, I'll get out of your way.
01:00:07Let me explain.
01:00:09Are you fancy meant to?
01:00:10I don't, I can't.
01:00:12It's not for me.
01:00:13Weather, weather, weather.
01:00:16It's a misunderstanding.
01:00:17Just let it go.
01:00:19I have.
01:00:20You have?
01:00:21You bet.
01:00:23Well, then I couldn't have meant that much to you, then could I?
01:00:27I suppose not.
01:00:38Weather, weather, weather.
01:00:41I am not bisexual!
01:00:54She won't listen.
01:00:56Why not?
01:00:59She's an obstinate robotics programmer.
01:01:01Go figure.
01:01:05I love her.
01:01:09I love her in a way that I've never loved anyone before.
01:01:15She gets me.
01:01:19And we just work.
01:01:22We click.
01:01:25And I know it shouldn't work on paper.
01:01:30But it does.
01:01:33See, I love her obscency.
01:01:36She's fierce and...
01:01:41My heart melts in her presence.
01:01:49I'm lost without her and...
01:01:52I know it's pathetic.
01:01:54But I just need to...
01:01:58Find myself again.
01:02:01To the wedding.
01:02:25Your dad's late for dinner again.
01:02:27His dinner will be cold.
01:02:29He doesn't like cold chops.
01:02:32Chops? I've done a piece of beef for us. It wasn't cheap.
01:02:38Could you get it from Sainsbury's?
01:02:41God no. Too expensive. Fine fare. I always like fine fare.
01:02:49One on Bull Hill.
01:02:52That closed years ago.
01:02:58What am I going to do?
01:03:01I've got a great job. Lovely home.
01:03:06I've not had anyone to share it with.
01:03:09What are you on about? What about Laura? Lovely girl.
01:03:14Which one was that?
01:03:17What do you mean? You've only had one girlfriend before Laura. Julie.
01:03:25Oh God, yeah. Forgotten about her.
01:03:29How could you do that? She was a crazy cow. Always banging on about having a baby.
01:03:36Why the bloody hell was she going to do that without a cock and all?
01:03:48I love you Bertha. No matter what. I love you.
01:03:55Oh Mum.
01:04:05Hi, this is Laura. Please leave a message after the tone.
01:04:09All right.
01:04:43I've just come from a meeting from hell, a meeting where I've had my balls aired, about
01:04:47all my people's lousy job skills.
01:04:53I'm just going to message you.
01:04:55Message me?
01:04:56You're too busy to walk down the corridor and see me in person.
01:04:59I've arranged those interviews.
01:05:01I'll be doing room 67 this afternoon.
01:05:03Direct debit's not being set up.
01:05:05I'm finishing off the paperwork.
01:05:06She's been here nearly a month.
01:05:08It takes time.
01:05:09She's a non-HS client, she'll have over 23 grand on the bank, we're able to get at that,
01:05:14all of it.
01:05:14Yeah, I know.
01:05:16It's not bad, eh?
01:05:17I like it when you're like this.
01:05:42You finished this as well?
01:05:43I'm amazed.
01:05:44What with rugby, gaming, breaking hearts, and-
01:05:47I've got the broken heart.
01:05:50I didn't think you had one.
01:05:53In the last five months, I've been through the wringer.
01:05:58Yeah, and you've been so wrapped up in your own world, you don't give a damn about anyone
01:06:01else.
01:06:01Not even me.
01:06:02That's not true.
01:06:07Then what's this?
01:06:08Eh?
01:06:09What's this?
01:06:11A wedding ring?
01:06:13Oh my god, when did that happen?
01:06:15It hasn't happened yet.
01:06:17It's an engagement ring.
01:06:18And it's their name.
01:06:21Their name.
01:06:22I don't get it.
01:06:25There's three of us in this relationship.
01:06:27Me, Carl, and Benjamin.
01:06:30That's not legal.
01:06:33Who gives a shit about legal?
01:06:35If we love each other, and I want to marry one, two or three guys, I will.
01:06:41I'm polygamous.
01:06:43There.
01:06:44I said it for the whole world to hear.
01:06:47No more shame about who I am.
01:06:51I won't be recognised.
01:06:54By whom?
01:06:55My parents?
01:06:56My friends?
01:06:57You?
01:06:59The state?
01:07:01The state.
01:07:03The same state that's persecuted me my whole life.
01:07:07What's worse is you didn't even show up to my party.
01:07:16Jordan?
01:07:20You had a party?
01:07:23We did.
01:07:25You were invited.
01:07:26My best friend.
01:07:27You didn't even show up.
01:07:29Thanks a lot.
01:07:30I had no idea.
01:07:34You've had your head so far up your own arse you wouldn't even notice if the world was ending.
01:07:38Which, apparently, it is.
01:07:41She's run off with a man.
01:07:44I just want one special person.
01:07:47Look where that gets you.
01:07:49Dumped.
01:07:50I thought Laura loved me.
01:07:52She hasn't run off.
01:07:54I saw her text.
01:07:56From who?
01:07:58Dave.
01:07:59Dave.
01:08:00Dave.
01:08:02You stupid cow.
01:08:05It's hard enough keeping one person when they're into one thing.
01:08:07Let alone when there's a whole load of other genitals involved.
01:08:10It's her brother, Dave.
01:08:12You idiot.
01:08:13Another thing.
01:08:14What about trying to-
01:08:15Dave's her brother?
01:08:17Brother?
01:08:18Yes.
01:08:19You heard that right.
01:08:24Yes.
01:08:25You certainly are.
01:08:28But this is great news.
01:08:41She's quit.
01:08:43She landed a new job in Paris.
01:08:45She leaves today.
01:09:08She's at the station on her way to London.
01:09:10If you go now, you can catch her.
01:09:15Go.
01:09:27Hi, Laura.
01:09:27Sorry to bother you.
01:09:28I think you've left with our year-end financial reports and I need them back.
01:09:31Pronto?
01:09:45Pronto?
01:09:55I was a dick.
01:09:56I admit it.
01:09:57You have to see it from my point of view.
01:09:59Your point of view?
01:10:01Bertha.
01:10:02Bertha.
01:10:02We've all had a heartbreak.
01:10:04We've all had a hard time of it, one time or another.
01:10:08It doesn't mean that you can be such a dick.
01:10:13You're right.
01:10:15On every count.
01:10:16Oh, I know the story.
01:10:18I know all about your past.
01:10:21You've got a new job in Paris.
01:10:26I do, yeah.
01:10:27And that train I've just missed means I'll miss the Eurostar connection now.
01:10:32Thanks.
01:11:01I can't stop you getting on that train.
01:11:03But think of this.
01:11:05You'll have a great time waiting six months for your Wi-Fi to work in France.
01:11:09And the plumbing.
01:11:11And negotiating the nightmare of a French menu.
01:11:14And sipping those little coffees and fancy cafes.
01:11:19And walking down the Champs Elysees.
01:11:22And taking a boat on Hussain.
01:11:25But you wouldn't be there.
01:11:29I'll take French lessons.
01:11:33You're lactose intolerant.
01:11:35You'll swell up.
01:11:38I don't care.
01:11:40Bring on the bloat.
01:11:42You'd do that for me.
01:11:44I love you.
01:11:46I don't even care if you're bisexual.
01:11:47Bring on the orgy.
01:11:53I love you too.
01:11:55I love this woman.
01:11:57You hear me well.
01:11:59I love Norris Den.
01:12:02I love Norris Den.
01:12:19I love Norris Den.
01:12:21I love Norris Den.
01:12:41They could try to remember four miles.
01:12:41I know you were not mad all.
01:12:43I love you too.
01:12:44I love Norris Den.
01:12:47You reach holding under me well.
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