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00:00:28The End
00:00:39You're a swimmer, I'm a shark
00:00:42While we sit here in the dock
00:00:46I'm a robot with a gun
00:00:49You're a supersonic nun
00:00:54You're a country star, I'm a brave G.I.
00:00:57In a stolen car from a comic spy
00:01:01You're the beauty queen, I'm the science pro
00:01:04With your seconds on the clock before the bomb goes off
00:01:08Going to the movies
00:01:11Double feature
00:01:12Going to the movies
00:01:14Creepy creature
00:01:16Going to the movies
00:01:17Bowl plantation
00:01:19Going to the movies
00:01:21Sexploitation
00:01:23Going to the movies
00:01:25Gonna zap that crowd
00:01:27Going to the movies
00:01:29Till my brains fall out
00:01:38I'm a gangster who's been shot
00:01:41You the slave girl I just bought
00:01:44I'm a monster on the loose
00:01:48You the duchess I seduce
00:01:53We survived the crash with our faithful pup
00:01:56Then the credits flash, then the lights come up
00:02:00You're only you and I am only me
00:02:04But the movie's starting over this time it's free
00:02:07Going to the movies
00:02:10Goin' to the movies
00:02:11Real live
00:02:11Drammer
00:02:12Goin' to the movies
00:02:13Scimmer hembler
00:02:15Goin' to the movies
00:02:20G.I.I.A.
00:02:30Hey, hey, hey!
00:03:06I was a man who wasn't grown
00:03:11I needed time to be alone
00:03:16Just to get my shit together
00:03:20And to find out where my head was coming from
00:03:25I've just begun
00:03:28I want to be
00:03:31I want to know
00:03:34Just like a tree
00:03:36I want to grow
00:03:39I want to live in this world of ours
00:03:44And never think of anyone but me
00:03:51Growing myself
00:03:55I know that I'm okay
00:03:57Growing myself
00:04:00Getting better every day
00:04:03Now I see my life before me
00:04:06Everyone will just adore me
00:04:09Cause I'm free
00:04:11Growing myself
00:04:14To be real
00:04:34Whoa, where are you going?
00:04:37What's going on?
00:04:38You're leaving me, Susan
00:04:40Huh?
00:04:42You're leaving me
00:04:43But we're having roast beef for dinner
00:04:45I made up my mind
00:04:47You're going out into the world to have a career
00:04:51I'm going where?
00:04:52And I'm going to change my entire life
00:04:54I need you to leave me, Susan
00:04:55So I can find out who I really am
00:04:57So I can grow
00:04:58And you need you to leave me so you can grow
00:05:02Huh?
00:05:02So you can find out who you really are
00:05:05But I thought I was me
00:05:08The Hendersons are coming over tonight
00:05:10I'll phone them
00:05:11Susan, by now most people like us have been divorced at least once or twice
00:05:15Or maybe separated
00:05:16I mean, that's what marriage is all about
00:05:18If you don't leave me now
00:05:20We could be together until we die or something
00:05:22Like our parents
00:05:25Jason, I thought we were happy
00:05:26Susan, happiness doesn't make you happy
00:05:28Growing makes you happy
00:05:30Oh
00:05:32My kids
00:05:33What about my kids?
00:05:35They'll be fine
00:05:35I'll take real good care of them
00:05:36I'll make sure they're right
00:05:37Susan
00:05:37I'm going to be a terrific mother
00:05:45Sorry, honey
00:05:49Listen, kids
00:05:50I want to talk to you
00:05:52What are we having for dinner?
00:05:55Where's mommy?
00:05:56Your mommy had to go away
00:05:58She had to grow
00:05:59She already is grown
00:06:01No, honey
00:06:02She had to grow more
00:06:04You see
00:06:05People are like food
00:06:06And mommy was
00:06:08Well, she wasn't like a hamburger
00:06:09A can of peas
00:06:10No
00:06:11See, kids
00:06:12People should be like
00:06:13Nice, beautiful fruits
00:06:15Mommy had to go away
00:06:16So she could be a peach
00:06:18Or a plum
00:06:18Right now
00:06:19She's more like a potato
00:06:21Mommy's a potato?
00:06:22Can we have french fries for dinner?
00:06:24So now
00:06:25I'm going to do everything
00:06:27That mommy used to do
00:06:29What did she used to do?
00:06:31She made us dinner
00:06:32Okay
00:06:33Let's set the table
00:06:35Jeffrey
00:06:35Get the dishes
00:06:36I'm going to have some dinner
00:06:38Okay
00:06:39Let's see what we have here
00:06:42A hot chicken
00:06:43I think I'm going to get you kids off red meat
00:06:45It's bad for your breakfast
00:06:47I'm just going to cook this old bird up like this
00:06:50Here
00:06:52And get started
00:06:54How about veggies?
00:06:56Veggies are great
00:06:57I love veggies
00:06:59This looks good
00:07:01Mmm
00:07:03How's everyone doing?
00:07:05Good
00:07:07Okay
00:07:07Peppers
00:07:09Peppers
00:07:09Peppers
00:07:10We got peppers
00:07:10Everyone all right over there
00:07:12Some tomatoes
00:07:25Now look at it this way kids
00:07:27The fire is burning away our past lives
00:07:31Excuse me
00:07:32You the owner?
00:07:33Yeah
00:07:33You step over here for a second
00:07:34Kids watch the fire
00:07:35I'll be right back
00:07:37Shame
00:07:37Well
00:07:37You still got a nice piece of land there
00:07:39You couldn't save any of the house?
00:07:41Geez
00:07:41I'm sorry
00:07:41Actually
00:07:42This is my first fire
00:07:43I'm still getting the hang of it
00:07:44I used to be in real estate
00:07:46But I found I wasn't growing as a person
00:07:48So I became a fireman
00:07:49I know what you mean
00:07:50I guess you're going to be needing a new place
00:07:52There's nothing left here
00:07:53Perfect
00:07:54I still keep my listings
00:07:55I figure
00:07:56That when a victim's house burns down
00:07:58He's got to live somewhere
00:07:59Yeah
00:07:59Daddy
00:08:00Daddy
00:08:01Goodbye
00:08:01One
00:08:02One
00:08:02One
00:08:02One second
00:08:04I'll tell you what I'm going to do
00:08:05I'll only charge you half the fee
00:08:07Perfect
00:08:08I got a lovely two bedroom on West 57th Street
00:08:11I need something bigger
00:08:12I've got the kids
00:08:15How would you like
00:08:16A fully furnished
00:08:17Eight room
00:08:18Rent controlled apartment
00:08:20On a high floor
00:08:21Overlooking Central Park
00:08:22On 79th
00:08:23I'll take it
00:08:24Oh boy
00:08:25You kids are going to love Manhattan
00:08:27Got the theater
00:08:28And art galleries
00:08:29Have you ever been to an auction at Park Bernay
00:08:32Dad
00:08:32What
00:08:33We're hungry
00:08:33We haven't eaten anything since we lost the chicken
00:08:38How about some clams
00:08:39Here comes the surprise I've been telling you about
00:08:42Does that look great
00:08:44This is the best surprise in the world
00:08:47Okay
00:08:47Now I'm going to show you how this is done
00:08:49Take a little lemon
00:08:51Squeeze the juice over it
00:08:52Just like so
00:08:53Then you take a little of the cocktail sauce
00:08:56And mix it in with the horseradish
00:08:57Mmm
00:08:58Mix it up real good
00:08:59And smear it on
00:09:00Now my favorite
00:09:03Tabasco sauce
00:09:05You kids ever had Tabasco sauce?
00:09:07And here we go
00:09:08Ready?
00:09:09Here we go
00:09:13Ah
00:09:13Okay
00:09:14Now
00:09:15Everyone get started
00:09:16Josh
00:09:17Down the hatch
00:09:18Come on Judy
00:09:19Get started
00:09:19Alright Jeffrey
00:09:21Now I'm going to help you
00:09:21A little lemon
00:09:23A little lemon like that
00:09:25Mix in the cocktail
00:09:26And the horseradish
00:09:27Judy how you doing?
00:09:28Good huh?
00:09:29Mmm great
00:09:30Put it in
00:09:31A little Tabasco
00:09:32Just a touch
00:09:34Okay
00:09:34Great
00:09:35Now
00:09:35Pick her up
00:09:37Here we go
00:09:39Good good good
00:09:40Ooh
00:09:41Good
00:09:41Great Jeffrey
00:09:43Chew
00:09:43Chew
00:09:43Great
00:09:44Terrific
00:09:54Morning ladies
00:09:55Beautiful day today
00:09:56How you doing Tom?
00:10:05Morning Mr. Cooper
00:10:06Morning Carlos
00:10:12Come in Jason
00:10:13Arnold
00:10:13Arnold you got a second
00:10:14I've got to discuss
00:10:15Something of paramount importance
00:10:16Nice suit
00:10:17You going jogging?
00:10:18What is it Jason?
00:10:19Arnold
00:10:21I quit
00:10:22Now wait a second
00:10:23I know what you're going to say
00:10:24So hear me out on this
00:10:25Because I've given it
00:10:26A lot of thought
00:10:28Now corporate law
00:10:29Just isn't enough
00:10:29For me anymore
00:10:30And sometimes a man
00:10:31Has to stop being himself
00:10:32So he can find out
00:10:33Who he is
00:10:34I know
00:10:34I know
00:10:35Stopping being yourself
00:10:36Is starting being someone else
00:10:38And I want that someone else
00:10:39To be me
00:10:41I'm quitting too
00:10:42Excuse me
00:10:43I'm moving to Alaska
00:10:45To trap beaver
00:10:47Beaver Arnold
00:10:48Bye bye Jay
00:10:55Beaver
00:10:57Trees
00:10:58Plants
00:10:59That's what I'll do
00:11:11Hello can I help you?
00:11:12Oh here
00:11:12Oh okay
00:11:13Yeah
00:11:14One sec
00:11:15You okay?
00:11:16Um
00:11:17Come on in
00:11:19What seems to be the trouble?
00:11:20Um
00:11:20Well I got up this morning
00:11:22And I was running a little late
00:11:23For work you know
00:11:23And the plants were
00:11:25Making all these demands
00:11:26And screaming to be watered
00:11:27You know
00:11:27And I recently broke up
00:11:29With my boyfriend
00:11:29So I've been a little bit
00:11:30On edge anyway
00:11:31And I just
00:11:33Uh
00:11:35You hit him?
00:11:36Yeah
00:11:36Are you
00:11:37What?
00:11:38Are you telling me
00:11:38That you beat your plants?
00:11:40Listen
00:11:40It is not all my fault
00:11:42I mean
00:11:42I come from a very long line
00:11:43Of plant batterers
00:11:44And they warned me
00:11:45That this could happen
00:11:46And I've been under
00:11:47A lot of stress
00:11:47And uh
00:11:48Excuse me
00:11:49Yeah
00:11:49One sec Josh
00:11:51Okay honey
00:11:51I have to get the phone
00:11:52Why don't you wait in there
00:11:54Take your plant
00:11:54I'll be right with you
00:11:55I don't know
00:11:56I don't think you should
00:11:56Give this to me
00:11:57It'll be okay
00:11:57It'll be okay
00:11:58Just wait in there
00:11:59And I'm just going to
00:11:59Talk to my son
00:12:00I want to get the phone
00:12:00Okay
00:12:01Don't be long
00:12:01I don't think you should
00:12:02Leave me alone
00:12:02No no
00:12:03You'll be okay
00:12:03You'll be fine
00:12:04I'll be right there
00:12:05Hurry up
00:12:19I don't think you should have a lot of time
00:12:26I don't think you should have a lot of time
00:12:37Help
00:12:39Help
00:12:40Help
00:12:41Help
00:12:41Who's that
00:12:43Jeffrey
00:12:43I lost
00:12:46Jeffrey
00:12:46Okay
00:12:47Jeffrey
00:12:49Don't panic
00:12:50Stay right here
00:12:51All right
00:12:52Jeffrey
00:12:53Keep talking to me
00:12:54Talk to me
00:12:55So I know where you are
00:12:56Okay
00:12:58Jeffrey
00:12:59Talk to me
00:13:00Are you there
00:13:01Yeah
00:13:01Okay
00:13:02Tell me what grade you're in
00:13:03First
00:13:04First grade
00:13:05One of my favorites
00:13:06Get your leaves off of me
00:13:08All right
00:13:08Okay
00:13:09Don't panic
00:13:10Don't fear
00:13:11All right
00:13:12I see you
00:13:13I got you
00:13:13Grab hold
00:13:14Grab hold
00:13:14Just gotta
00:13:15Show this
00:13:16Gotta
00:13:17Who's boss
00:13:18That's all
00:13:18All right
00:13:19Hold on
00:13:19All right
00:13:20Daylight
00:13:20I'm seeing daylight
00:13:21All right Jeffrey
00:13:22We're almost there
00:13:23I see the couch
00:13:24Okay
00:13:25We're coming up to the couch
00:13:26All right
00:13:27Okay
00:13:28All right
00:13:29Don't panic
00:13:29Are you all right
00:13:30Are you all right
00:13:31Okay
00:13:31All right
00:13:32Okay
00:13:33Stop that
00:13:39No
00:13:41No
00:13:41No
00:13:43Josh
00:13:43Can't you see I'm busy
00:13:44Yeah I know
00:13:45Hold on
00:13:46Daddy
00:13:47Can I have the keys to the car
00:13:48Josh
00:13:49Can't you see them involved
00:13:51Hold on baby
00:13:52Okay
00:13:52All right look
00:13:53Don't be like your sister
00:13:55Okay
00:13:55Come back
00:13:56Cute kid
00:13:57No not you
00:13:59My son
00:14:00Hmm
00:14:02No
00:14:03Huh
00:14:04Yeah listen
00:14:05It's this evening
00:14:06Dinner
00:14:07Uh huh
00:14:08La petite portion
00:14:11Go easy on the wine
00:14:13Lee
00:14:13You're only 14 years old
00:14:14You look kind of tired
00:14:16What have you been doing
00:14:17Thank you very much
00:14:21Oh wow
00:14:22What a day
00:14:25Three shootings
00:14:27Abaddon
00:14:27Scabulo in the morning
00:14:29And then I had this real dork
00:14:31All afternoon
00:14:32Must have taken a million rolls of film
00:14:34For this one stupid perfume man
00:14:36Eliza I need you
00:14:37You're very important to me
00:14:39I know
00:14:40I mean you've got innocence
00:14:42Wisdom
00:14:42You accept me for what I am
00:14:44You're like uh
00:14:45You're like a child
00:14:47You mean I'm a 14 year old bimbo
00:14:51No age has nothing to do with it
00:14:53But I can show you a whole new world
00:14:56Like old uh Rockford files
00:14:59Sushi
00:15:00Oh yeah
00:15:01How boring
00:15:03Uh well then uh
00:15:05Maybe you'd like to um
00:15:07See the Pavarotti concert
00:15:09Ugh
00:15:11There's a fast finder double feature
00:15:13Playing downtown
00:15:14No shit
00:15:15Still
00:15:16Well there's a kiss concert
00:15:19At the garden
00:15:20Give me a break Jason
00:15:22Liza
00:15:23What do you want to do
00:15:28Liza I'll tell ya
00:15:30You gotta understand
00:15:31What I've been going through
00:15:32Sometimes this happens
00:15:33To guys like me
00:15:34At times like this
00:15:35I've had it with guys like you
00:15:38It would have done better
00:15:39Seeing that fast finder flick
00:15:41But I'm gonna be much better
00:15:43I'm gonna be fantastic
00:15:44Probably had too much wine to drink
00:15:49My life is all messed up
00:15:51You're kidding
00:15:55You know I think I'm gonna make
00:15:56My parents send me to a catholic school
00:16:01And then I could go to a secretarial college
00:16:03And then I could get a job
00:16:05And then I could get married
00:16:06And I could have kids
00:16:14Come on Liza
00:16:15Where you going
00:16:17Jason
00:16:19Let's face it
00:16:20You're impudent
00:16:48Do you get it?
00:16:52Coming
00:16:58Hello Jason
00:16:58Susan
00:17:00Sorry to barge in on you like this
00:17:02But I only have a minute
00:17:03Uh you wanna come in?
00:17:04It's alright
00:17:05I just wanted to come by
00:17:06And tell you that you were right
00:17:08About changing and growing myself
00:17:10You look fantastic
00:17:11Yes I've done quite well in business
00:17:14As a matter of fact
00:17:15I'm president of Union Carbine
00:17:17There you go
00:17:18You see that's what happens
00:17:19When you really wanna do
00:17:20What you have to do
00:17:20Whether you want to or not
00:17:21Yeah I just have this natural flair
00:17:23For running major chemical corporations
00:17:26Uh huh
00:17:26Can't help it
00:17:27Yeah
00:17:28But I haven't forgotten you
00:17:30And your needs Jason
00:17:31Yeah
00:17:31Oh no
00:17:32That's why I want you to have my baby
00:17:34Huh?
00:17:41Oh I made a little mistake
00:17:45Forgot to bring my diaphragm
00:17:46To the OPEC conference
00:17:47In Caracas last summer
00:17:49Susan couldn't get an abortion
00:17:51Jason you know how it is
00:17:52When you're a top level executive
00:17:54There's no time
00:17:56My god
00:17:57I've got to make this flight to Geneva
00:17:58You know how the Swiss are about time
00:18:01Tell the kids alright
00:18:02I haven't heard from Josh or Jennifer lately
00:18:04Huh
00:18:05I'll yeah
00:18:06Okay bye Susan
00:18:08What's its name
00:18:10Is it a boy
00:18:11Girl or what
00:18:12Name
00:18:12Susan
00:18:13It's name
00:18:14Susan
00:18:14What's it
00:18:15Ah
00:18:15Susan
00:18:17Ah Susan
00:18:18Come on
00:18:19How can I have a tip
00:18:20I don't know what its name is
00:18:21Susan
00:18:22Hey
00:18:24What's its name
00:18:29Hey
00:18:30Hey
00:18:32Hey
00:18:32What's its name
00:18:34Hey
00:18:35You forgot to tell me the kids name
00:18:37Oh
00:18:38Oh
00:18:38God
00:18:39Oh jeez
00:18:40I don't know
00:18:42If it's a boy
00:18:43I guess I like the name Adam
00:18:44But if it's a girl
00:18:46Well
00:18:46I guess I like the name Rachel
00:18:48I don't know
00:18:48That was my grandmother's name
00:18:50She always wanted to be named Sarah
00:18:51So how do you know
00:18:52You know
00:18:52What was your grandmother's name
00:18:54Mine's Diana
00:18:55It's yours David
00:18:56You look like a David
00:18:56No it's Jason
00:18:57But I think I would
00:18:59I'd be willing to change it
00:19:01Oh
00:19:01Let's keep it down there
00:19:03Wanna come up for tea
00:19:04I gotta find out
00:19:04What kind of kid I got
00:19:06Oh
00:19:07I don't know what I'm doing here
00:19:10Boy
00:19:11You probably think I'm some kind of
00:19:13Wanton slut
00:19:16Oh no
00:19:16I'm a much bigger person than that
00:19:18I think it's beautiful that you're here
00:19:21Just let me put a little mood music on
00:19:28Ah that's my kids
00:19:30I'll be right back
00:19:35I think you're gonna like this one
00:19:50Well uh
00:19:51I'm
00:19:52I'm like
00:19:53Various people
00:19:54I'm a cat person
00:19:57I think it's really
00:19:58Great that we
00:19:59Get to share
00:20:00This experience together
00:20:04I'm a book person
00:20:05Oh
00:20:07I am a visual person
00:20:09I'm feeling really good about myself
00:20:11I think it's great that we can
00:20:12Get to know each other like this
00:20:14You know Harry
00:20:16So much I wanted to see
00:20:18I see
00:20:19I see
00:20:19That's why I went to Morocco
00:20:21Where I married Abdul
00:20:22But you gotta start with yourself
00:20:23Oh it ended in divorce
00:20:25But then I met Klaus
00:20:26My ex-husband
00:20:27Yeah
00:20:27Yeah yeah
00:20:28And he was this biochemist
00:20:29Who was running this newsstand in Munich
00:20:31Yeah there's Liza my ex-girlfriend
00:20:32She was a high school sophomore
00:20:34Who was doing a book report
00:20:35And working for Skavula
00:20:36And I was a chef
00:20:39It's beginning to happen
00:20:40I'm transcending
00:20:41And I was having an affair
00:20:43With this photographer
00:20:44I divorced Klaus and married too soon
00:20:48Oh soon
00:20:49I think I'm beginning to grow
00:20:50And then Bruce
00:20:51Bruce my ex-husband
00:20:53He told me I had more feelings
00:20:55Than anyone he ever knew
00:20:57Susan my ex-wife thought I was crazy
00:21:01She was out of you
00:21:03And you called me
00:21:03I'm growing
00:21:05Oh god
00:21:08Stella
00:21:13Oh that was
00:21:15Fantastic
00:21:16Fantastic
00:21:19I got a cigarette
00:21:21Sure
00:21:22Sure let me just
00:21:25Sure
00:21:30Here we go
00:21:32Oh boy
00:21:34Oh
00:21:38Oh
00:21:39Oh
00:21:41I told you
00:21:43I'd like to go see a
00:21:46A fast-binding movie
00:21:49Downtown
00:21:52Now that's what I call a movie
00:21:54I don't know what you've got against seeing this again
00:21:56This was boring
00:21:58You can't get enough of that fast-binder
00:22:01Fantastic
00:22:02Extraordinary
00:22:03We're going
00:22:03We're going
00:22:04Listen
00:22:04I think I
00:22:05I think I love you
00:22:06Oh listen
00:22:07What do we call a cab right now
00:22:09Sure come on
00:22:09I'll get a cab
00:22:10Let's go
00:22:11Okay come on
00:22:11We're gonna get a cab
00:22:12Taxi
00:22:13Run over
00:22:14What?
00:22:14Come on Josh
00:22:15We're not gonna get a run over
00:22:16I'm gonna get you
00:22:17Taxi
00:22:18Hey
00:22:18I got him
00:22:19Hi
00:22:20Can you take Jeffy right now
00:22:21Just take him?
00:22:22Yeah yeah sure
00:22:23Hey hey hey
00:22:24It's right south there in the street
00:22:26Now look I want you to be quiet
00:22:27Okay?
00:22:28Because if I'm gonna take care of you
00:22:29You gotta be quiet
00:22:30Can't stand a kid around
00:22:31It's on and on
00:22:32Let's go
00:22:33Hold it for now
00:22:34We'll get on fast this way
00:22:39I'm gonna get run over
00:22:41We're not gonna get run over
00:22:42I'm gonna go
00:22:43Get on fast this way
00:22:46Come on we're going
00:22:47Taxi
00:22:48I gotta go
00:22:49I gotta go
00:23:06I'm so happy
00:23:08I know you're happy
00:23:09What about me?
00:23:10I thought you were happy
00:23:12Jason you've gotta give me the freedom to be unsure of myself
00:23:15And you've got no right to be sure that you're happy
00:23:18When I'm not sure that I'm happy
00:23:23Oh yeah I understand what you mean
00:23:25Uh
00:23:26Maybe we should call it quits
00:23:28I mean we have been seeing each other for two whole days
00:23:32Fine
00:23:32Fine
00:23:33I'll go get the door
00:23:40Is my husband in?
00:23:43Jason?
00:23:44It's your wife
00:23:52Hi Jason
00:23:52Hi Jason
00:23:53Well hello again Susan
00:23:54I'm going back to school
00:23:55Great
00:23:56I'm going to Berkeley to get my masters in urban reproductive recycling
00:23:59Terrific
00:24:00I'm ready to raise the kids again
00:24:02I'm ready to raise the kids again
00:24:02You know I'm ready for a change myself
00:24:04Good
00:24:08So where's Josh and Jeffrey?
00:24:12And where's Jennifer?
00:24:13Jennifer!
00:24:14Mommy's back
00:24:16We think she may be somewhere in Brooklyn
00:24:19Brooklyn?
00:24:22Jason where are my kids?
00:24:24Well to tell you the truth
00:24:26I'm not really sure
00:24:27But I think they may be out finding themselves
00:24:30You know growing
00:24:31Growing
00:24:31They're out growing
00:24:32But they'll be fine
00:24:33I'm sure they're going to be terrific
00:24:34And the baby's still here
00:24:36And Judy's still here
00:24:37Judy!
00:24:37Judy come on in here
00:24:40Oh hi mom
00:24:41Judy
00:24:42My baby
00:24:43Guess what
00:24:44We're going to California
00:24:45Did you say you were heading for Berkeley?
00:24:47Can I catch a ride with you
00:24:48Just as far as Boulder?
00:24:49Sure
00:24:49Oh I hear Boulder, Colorado
00:24:51Is going to be the next videotaped capital of America
00:24:54Well goodbye Jason
00:24:56Goodbye Jason
00:24:59Goodbye Daddy
00:25:24Susan
00:25:25Susan
00:25:25Susan just a second
00:25:26Yeah?
00:25:27I've just decided
00:25:28I'm not happy with the plans
00:25:29I'm going to run for the Senate
00:25:30So I'm going to need a kid
00:25:31Preferably one that can talk
00:25:33For interviews
00:25:33It's going to be good for my image
00:25:35I'll take Judy
00:25:35I like Judy
00:25:37I'll flip you for her
00:25:38Are you crazy?
00:25:39No come on
00:25:40I'll flip you for her
00:25:41You're crazy
00:25:41I'll flip you for her
00:25:42Susan
00:25:42Taking a chance is part of growing
00:25:47All right
00:25:49I don't have any change
00:25:50Okay great
00:25:50Excuse me sir
00:25:51Do you have a coin?
00:25:51We want to flip for our daughter
00:25:59I got a quarter
00:26:00Great
00:26:01Give it right back
00:26:02Ready?
00:26:02Here we go
00:26:03Hands
00:26:04Growing myself
00:26:08I know that I'm okay
00:26:11Growing myself
00:26:14Getting better everyday
00:26:17Now I see my life before me
00:26:20Everyone will just adore me
00:26:23Cause I'm free
00:26:25Growing myself
00:26:28To be me
00:26:41Going to the movies
00:26:43Double feature
00:26:44Going to the movies
00:26:46Creepy creature
00:26:48Going to the movies
00:26:50Old plantation
00:26:51Going to the movies
00:26:54Sexploitation
00:26:55Going to the movies
00:26:57Going to the movies
00:26:58Going to the movies
00:26:59Going to the movies
00:26:59Going to the movies
00:26:59Going to the movies
00:27:00Going to the movies
00:27:00Going to the movies
00:27:01Going to the movies
00:27:01Going to the movies
00:27:01Going to the movies
00:27:02Going to the movies
00:27:02Going to the movies
00:27:02Going to the movies
00:27:31It seems like it was
00:27:33only a few days ago when it started.
00:27:35In fact, it was only
00:27:36a few days ago. I was just
00:27:38out of college, but I couldn't get a job.
00:27:41I was desperate,
00:27:43ready to do anything to survive.
00:27:52You know,
00:27:53these guys really slay me.
00:27:54All I could get for you was 50 bucks for the night.
00:27:57But don't worry about it. They're big business people,
00:27:59honchos. They'll be very good for your career.
00:28:01Besides, you'll get big tits.
00:28:03I mean, big tits.
00:28:06Doesn't that kill you?
00:28:07That's why I emcee my own gigs.
00:28:09I'm a humorist.
00:28:13See you there.
00:28:14All right.
00:28:14All right.
00:28:27Give us that one.
00:28:29Oh!
00:28:31Ah, get the hell off.
00:28:33Woo!
00:28:34Woo!
00:28:35Woo!
00:28:37Woo!
00:28:38Woo!
00:28:39Woo!
00:28:42Woo!
00:28:46Miss Russell Dazzle!
00:28:48Hey-hey!
00:28:49Hey-hey!
00:28:50And here's that sweet treat you all been waiting for.
00:28:53Here's Miss Terry Dowd!
00:29:07Come on, give us!
00:29:10Woo!
00:29:12Woo!
00:29:12Woo!
00:29:13Woo!
00:29:14Come on, give us!
00:29:14Woo!
00:29:15Yeah!
00:29:15Woo!
00:29:16Woo!
00:29:16Show us something!
00:29:17Show us something!
00:29:18Show us something!
00:29:18Hey, we're going to have your idea!
00:29:22You're a genius!
00:29:24Woo!
00:29:25Woo!
00:29:25Woo!
00:29:29Woo!
00:29:31Woo!
00:29:34Woo!
00:29:35Woo!
00:29:36Woo!
00:29:36Come on!
00:29:36Come on, shorty!
00:29:37Get your shoulder on!
00:29:38Get your shoulder on!
00:29:40Woo!
00:29:44Woo!
00:29:45Steel, you are a genius!
00:29:48Woo!
00:29:50Woo!
00:29:50Woo!
00:29:51Hey, look at that!
00:29:52Woo!
00:29:53Hey, let's have a Butterbang!
00:29:57Get your shoulder out!
00:29:57A what?
00:29:58A Butterbang!
00:30:00Butterbang!
00:30:02Butterbang!
00:30:03Butterbang!
00:30:03Butterbang!
00:30:03All right!
00:30:05Butterbang!
00:30:06Yes, sir!
00:30:07Oh, good!
00:30:08All right!
00:30:09Get your butterbang!
00:30:10Butter!
00:30:11Butter!
00:30:11Butter!
00:30:12No!
00:30:16No!
00:30:18No!
00:30:19Wait!
00:30:20No, don't!
00:30:21Ann!
00:30:22No!
00:30:23Walter Steele and his dairy executive friends taught me a brutal lesson,
00:30:27a lesson that would change my life forever.
00:30:30I learned what a butter bang was.
00:30:32My innocence had been broken by a harmless stick of butter,
00:30:35and I vowed to break the men who broke me.
00:30:54Good morning, Paul Everest.
00:30:56I'm Dominique Corsair.
00:30:58I've been waiting for you.
00:31:00Excuse me, miss, but...
00:31:01George, we'll do the mail later.
00:31:04Are you sure, Paul?
00:31:07Mm-hmm.
00:31:10Well, Dominique, um...
00:31:12Corsair.
00:31:14Dominique Corsair.
00:31:16What can I do for you?
00:31:19Teach me margarine.
00:31:22I want to know everything there is to know about margarine.
00:31:25Everything?
00:31:26Is that all?
00:31:28My dear child, margarine is a ruthless industry.
00:31:34It's no place for a woman.
00:31:36But you've never met a woman like me.
00:32:01You've never met a woman like me.
00:32:02Yes, sir.
00:32:03I'm interviewing Miss Corsair.
00:32:05Please hold on my calls.
00:32:06Yes, sir.
00:32:18¶¶
00:32:20¶¶
00:32:26¶¶
00:32:41¶¶
00:32:46Welcome to Hong Kong, Mr. Everett.
00:32:47Yes, you. Nice to see you.
00:32:49This is my associate, Miss Corsair.
00:32:51Miss Corsair, welcome to Hong Kong.
00:32:53We have a presentation for you.
00:32:54Oh.
00:32:57The excitement of my introduction to margarine was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.
00:33:03Oh, it's fascinating.
00:33:05Oh, yes, I know, I know.
00:33:07It's almost impossible to believe that it was once the mere byproduct of the lowly, pitiful soybeans.
00:33:16That's unbelievable.
00:33:17Yes, I know.
00:33:21My darling, this way.
00:33:28No longer an insignificant little bean, a wholesome and nutritious foodstuff known all over the world.
00:33:34Ideal for all forms of cooking and baking, delicious in sandwiches, perfect for snacks and on toast.
00:33:42I'm sorry, I get all carried away.
00:33:53Someday, somehow, we'll have an answer to the most critical question of our time.
00:33:59Can we make a margarine that tastes better than butter?
00:34:03We will, darling.
00:34:05We will.
00:34:05Well, I love you.
00:34:08And I believe you.
00:34:12And distribution has always been our greatest problem.
00:34:17Of course, we have computers today to do all the dirty work.
00:34:22I'm not boring you, am I, my darling?
00:34:24Oh, no.
00:34:25I feel as if margarine has been in my blood forever.
00:34:30Well, it's been a long day.
00:34:34And I've taught you almost everything I know about margarine.
00:34:36Let's take a break.
00:34:49Oh, Paul.
00:34:52Oh, that's beautiful.
00:34:57Oh.
00:34:58It belonged to my father.
00:35:00I want you to have it.
00:35:00Oh, that's beautiful.
00:35:07It's beautiful.
00:35:11It's beautiful.
00:35:14Captain Blake, change in flight plan.
00:35:18Due south, Saint-Tropez.
00:35:41Oh, don't stop.
00:35:44Oh, Paul.
00:35:46Darling, don't, please don't stop.
00:35:50Paul?
00:35:54Why did you stop?
00:35:57Um, I'm having a heart attack, Dominique.
00:36:03Oh, we better call a doctor.
00:36:06No time.
00:36:07Let me talk.
00:36:08From the moment we met, I knew it would be you.
00:36:11You are like me.
00:36:12You do have margarine in your veins.
00:36:14Now, Paul, you're not going to die.
00:36:16You're not going to die.
00:36:17Oh, shut up, you little funny face.
00:36:20I can't move.
00:36:22I have a massive heart attack and a coronary and a cold.
00:36:28Listen to me.
00:36:29In my attache case, ownership papers for Everest margarine, I've signed the presidency over
00:36:35to you.
00:36:40Oh, my darling.
00:36:42No, don't try to talk, darling.
00:36:43You must conserve your energy.
00:36:46No, no, it doesn't matter anymore.
00:36:47I love you.
00:36:50I love you so, Dominique.
00:36:53But I'm dying.
00:36:59I leave you with massive responsibilities and an unlimited expense account.
00:37:09If only you can lead Everest margarine into the future, all the rest of my family, our weaklings
00:37:17and degenerates, they hate margarine.
00:37:19I will, Paul.
00:37:21I will if you'll just give me a chance.
00:37:23Now, is this legal or do we need witnesses?
00:37:27I'm a notary.
00:37:28Get my seal.
00:37:28It's in the bag.
00:37:29I always travel with it.
00:37:35You embody the very spirit of Everest margarine.
00:37:42I'm really going now.
00:37:44Oh, no, wait.
00:37:44Just a minute.
00:37:45Just one minute, all right?
00:37:46Okay.
00:37:47Ow!
00:37:48Ow!
00:37:50Just one more, real fast.
00:37:53Okay.
00:37:56Oh, ouch.
00:37:57Oh.
00:38:16This document is perfectly legal.
00:38:21It's the new president and chief executive officer
00:38:26of Everest margarine
00:38:29is Dominique Corsair.
00:38:32Dominique.
00:38:36Thank you, gentlemen.
00:38:38Everest margarine has many new worlds to conquer
00:38:41and many new frontiers to explore.
00:38:43And I think I need some new clothes.
00:38:46So, if you'll excuse me.
00:38:53My condolences to the immediate family.
00:39:00I missed Paul.
00:39:02We'd shared many wonderful minutes together.
00:39:05But he was dead.
00:39:07And I needed someone to help me gain my revenge.
00:39:17Congratulations, Miss Corsair.
00:39:21My name is Jeff Steele.
00:39:23I'm here representing the butter industry.
00:39:27And now that poor Mr. Everest is gone,
00:39:29I thought that the industries could learn to live together.
00:39:33Why not?
00:39:37Margarine and butter have to coexist, Domi.
00:39:41There's room for both of us.
00:39:42That's why I'm on the board of Everest margarine.
00:39:45Even though your father, Walter Steele,
00:39:47is head of Universal Dairy?
00:39:49You know my father?
00:39:52Oh, I met him once at a party with some friends of his.
00:39:56My father lives in the past.
00:39:58He refuses to recognize anything but butter, milk, and cream.
00:40:04I've wanted to merge with Everest margarine for years,
00:40:08but the old bastard won't listen.
00:40:11But if my father were out of the way,
00:40:15then butter and milk could merge with margarine
00:40:21and other non-dairy creamers,
00:40:23the possibilities are enormous.
00:40:27Aren't they, though?
00:40:28Mm.
00:40:32Hello.
00:40:34I did it.
00:40:35You did what?
00:40:36I did it.
00:40:37I did it.
00:40:37My father had this deadly Amazon Indian blowgun
00:40:40that shoots poison darts.
00:40:41It was over in seconds.
00:40:43I got him while he was eating dessert.
00:40:45Now we can merge.
00:40:47Butter and margarine, you and me.
00:40:50Don't be a fool.
00:40:52I have no intention of merging with anyone.
00:40:55This conversation is being taped.
00:40:57The police should be there any minute.
00:40:59You're kidding.
00:40:59I know you're only kidding.
00:41:00You don't mean that, Dommy.
00:41:02You can't do this to me.
00:41:04You're a cold-blooded murderer, Jeffy.
00:41:07Then stop calling me Dommy.
00:41:11Dominique?
00:41:12Dominique?
00:41:16Murderer.
00:41:16Murderer.
00:41:17Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:41:17Me.
00:41:18Yeah.
00:41:21What did you do for us?
00:41:25I love her.
00:41:27I love her.
00:41:28That's right.
00:41:30You heard me.
00:41:36Keeter!
00:41:45Now I wanted to break the butter business
00:41:47and make margarine even bigger and better than butter.
00:41:56I want you to buy Universal Dairy outright.
00:42:03We can use it as collateral to buy controlling interest
00:42:06in the five other big dairy companies.
00:42:09I want to own them all, so do it by tonight.
00:42:13That's right, Keesler.
00:42:14By tonight.
00:42:16Oh, and tell all the factory managers
00:42:18that they're no longer making butter
00:42:20or any other dairy product.
00:42:22They're making margarine.
00:42:24Only margarine.
00:42:31Oh.
00:42:49I was now ready to meet Nixos Noxos, the wealthiest
00:42:53Greek tycoon on Earth.
00:43:08I am Nixos, and it's my son, Nicky.
00:43:11Yes, sir.
00:43:12I am Mrs. Nixos.
00:43:14I am Dominique Corsair, and I don't like your shoes.
00:43:28Dominique Corsair, what a woman you are.
00:43:31Dominique Corsair, what a woman you are.
00:43:37Come.
00:43:39Wheat.
00:43:40I have yeaten.
00:43:42But first I must change.
00:43:48I have yeaten.
00:43:54But first I must change.
00:43:55Nixos owns everything.
00:43:57Oil, shipping, metals.
00:44:00You see these little silver nail clippers?
00:44:03Nixos owns them.
00:44:05That's not why I'm here, Nixos.
00:44:08You are here because you own the butter.
00:44:11And because you own every Greek coffee shop in the free world.
00:44:15Oh, we will do business, Nixos.
00:44:18But I'm taking butter off the market.
00:44:21From now on, you'll serve nothing but marjoram.
00:44:32What a woman you are, Dominique Corsair.
00:44:36Come.
00:44:37We break things.
00:44:40We will grind, Faradjong.
00:44:45Come.
00:44:46Come.
00:44:49Come.
00:44:57Come.
00:45:01Come.
00:45:03Come.
00:45:05Come.
00:45:05Come.
00:45:05Come.
00:45:06Come.
00:45:07Come.
00:45:07Come.
00:45:08Come.
00:45:08Come.
00:45:10Come.
00:45:17Come.
00:45:20Come.
00:45:20When Noxious dances, the gods dance!
00:45:40Come, Dominic Corsair. We go to Rome and make love.
00:45:52Rome is so beautiful.
00:45:55Dominic Corsair. You speak like a poet.
00:46:00I want to make love again. I want to marry you.
00:46:04Noxious, you already are married.
00:46:10I can get married any time I want. I am Noxious. I make my own rules.
00:46:15Noxious can marry 50 women. Noxious can marry a chair.
00:46:18Come. We go back home to my island in Greece.
00:46:24We get married.
00:46:29You will say much. I mean.
00:46:38You may not kiss the bride.
00:46:40You may be.
00:46:44I got to know Noxious' wife and his son, Nicholas.
00:46:47Nicholas was throbbing violently on the brink of manhood.
00:46:52Helena was a woman scorned.
00:46:55But I do not...
00:46:57It's unusual.
00:46:58You may not kiss the bride.
00:46:58Noxious.
00:46:59Doug.
00:46:59Oh, my God.
00:47:00Ha!
00:47:03Oh, my God.
00:47:31I knew Noxos would soon discard me the way he discarded Helena.
00:47:35I had to avenge myself in advance.
00:47:38This thing we have done, is it wrong, Mother?
00:47:42I'm not your mother, Nicholas.
00:47:43But you married my father, Mother?
00:47:45Yes, but you're not my son.
00:47:47Your father's other wife is your mother. You are your mother's son.
00:47:51All I know is that I love you and that I want you to marry me, Mother.
00:47:55I'm not your mother, Nicholas.
00:47:58My husband, your wife, your son.
00:48:01What is this? What is this?
00:48:04I have made love with your son, my husband.
00:48:06But you are my wife.
00:48:07Helena is your wife. I am your other wife.
00:48:10I am sorry, Father. She is my mother.
00:48:13My wife is also your mother, son.
00:48:17Why? Why do you do this?
00:48:21Because I wanted to.
00:48:22You wanted to?
00:48:23I wanted to.
00:48:25Only I, Noxos, can make love to my own son.
00:48:28I am Greek.
00:48:29But now I cannot.
00:48:31It's ruined.
00:48:33I will kill you.
00:48:36No, I cannot kill you.
00:48:38I love you.
00:48:41I will kill you.
00:48:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:48:44No.
00:48:45No.
00:48:46I may still want to make love to you later.
00:48:48You're my son.
00:48:51Noxos must kill someone.
00:48:54Who?
00:48:59I will kill you, mother.
00:49:08You taught me, you wound me.
00:49:11You embittered my heart.
00:49:13You taught me, you wound me.
00:49:16You torture me forever.
00:49:20Wife, your son has made love to my wife.
00:49:25Someone must die for this.
00:49:27You are the only one we could think of.
00:49:34I have done it.
00:49:43What have I done?
00:49:51Noxos was convicted of murder.
00:49:52His final request was to be executed
00:49:55on his private golf course in Monte Carlo.
00:50:03I inherited the vast empire of Nixos Noxos.
00:50:07Any ordinary college graduate would have been happy.
00:50:10But I still yearned for something money and power couldn't buy.
00:50:14Go on, Dr. Kleiner.
00:50:16As you know, I've been experimenting with margarine in my laboratories.
00:50:20Yesterday, by mistake, I brought some experimental margarine to my mother in the hospital.
00:50:26Is something wrong?
00:50:27She has cancer.
00:50:29She is 107 years old.
00:50:32There is in her room, by her bed, a color television set.
00:50:36The color television tube irradiated the experimental margarine before she ate it.
00:50:41Today, I went back to see her.
00:50:43She was laughing and singing and dancing all around the room.
00:50:46And she had the strength to pick up a bed and throw it at the nurse.
00:50:50She is cured.
00:50:52You mean...
00:50:53Jawohl.
00:50:54If people will only eat our margarine and watch television, cancer will be cured.
00:51:00Then Corsair Industries has found a cure for cancer.
00:51:05Thank you, Dr. Kleiner.
00:51:07Bitte schön.
00:51:10That'll be all, Dr. Kleiner.
00:51:13Jawohl.
00:51:15Would this bring the happiness that had eluded me for a day and a half?
00:51:28A few hours ago, the world had no cure for cancer.
00:51:32Now, thanks to margarine, we do.
00:51:34It is with sincere pride that I accept this most coveted award in Western civilization,
00:51:40the Nobel Prize.
00:51:42And I thank you for awarding it to me out of season.
00:51:54All America is so proud of you, Dominique.
00:51:57Thank you, Mr. President.
00:51:59If it wouldn't be too much to ask, I would certainly like a sample of your cancer cure for my
00:52:04mother.
00:52:05I'd be most happy to give you anything you want, Mr. President.
00:52:11Funny.
00:52:12I was going from a Greek tycoon to a president of the United States.
00:52:16Usually, it's the other way around.
00:52:24How do you like this flat?
00:52:26It once belonged to King Gustav of Sweden.
00:52:29It's beautiful.
00:52:35Robert, darling, why don't you tell me what you really think?
00:52:40What you feel?
00:52:44I love you, Dominique.
00:52:46I have 20 mistresses, but I don't need any of them anymore.
00:52:49You've given me more than any woman could possibly give.
00:52:53I want to marry you.
00:52:57You're already married.
00:53:01I have a surprise for you.
00:53:04Just a small token of my love.
00:53:11It's a replica of the presidential seal in gold and precious gems.
00:53:17Here.
00:53:18Let me help you put it around your neck.
00:53:20Oh, no.
00:53:22I'll put it on later.
00:53:23Do you like it?
00:53:24I love it.
00:53:25It's beautiful.
00:53:26Yes.
00:53:28Let me help you.
00:53:30Yeah.
00:53:32Oopsie-daisy.
00:53:34Oh, good.
00:53:35Oh, jeez.
00:53:58Mr. President.
00:54:00Senator Edmondson, you're looking good.
00:54:02Congratulations on your latest marriage.
00:54:04And this must be the little woman.
00:54:06It must be wonderful being president.
00:54:09Ah, you remember my wife, the first lady, of course.
00:54:12Hello.
00:54:13How do you do?
00:54:14How do you do?
00:54:15This is our guest of honor, Dominique Corsair.
00:54:17Hi.
00:54:18Welcome.
00:54:19Hello.
00:54:21Well, oh, Washington is delighted to give this party in your honor.
00:54:25You're a fantastic woman.
00:54:27Good evening.
00:54:29This is first lady.
00:54:30Hello.
00:54:31Uh, when you have a moment, I'd like a word with you.
00:54:35Ah, I have the second dance free.
00:54:38Your husband and I have to do the first one for the photographers, you know.
00:54:42Good evening.
00:54:43How nice to see you.
00:55:00You see, my husband look more relaxed.
00:55:03I want him to be happy.
00:55:05And you, Lucille, are you happy?
00:55:08Yes.
00:55:09Yes, I am.
00:55:11I feel happy with you.
00:55:14And I with you.
00:55:31Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States, his wife and his girlfriend.
00:55:43Ladies and gentlemen of the press, please be seated.
00:55:48It's good to see you all here once again.
00:55:51You all know my wife, Lucille, our first lady.
00:55:54At this time, she has an announcement of some national importance.
00:56:05Ladies and gentlemen, I have come to a decision which I believe will aid my husband in becoming
00:56:14the greatest president the United States has ever had and, in turn, will help our country to realize its destiny
00:56:24of greatness.
00:56:27I have decided that it is my duty to relinquish my role as wife of the president and first lady,
00:56:36and to yield those honors and responsibilities to his girlfriend, Dominique Corsair, the woman I love.
00:56:52Three days ago, I was a lonely college graduate, without a job, without love, without money, without success.
00:57:01And now, I am the most powerful woman in the world.
00:57:06But am I really happy?
00:57:09Damn right I'm happy!
00:57:22Going to the movies, real-life drama
00:57:25Going to the movies, cine-drama
00:57:28Going to the movies, spooky thriller
00:57:32Going to the movies, psychokiller
00:57:35Going to the movies, singing in the rain
00:57:39Going to the movies, going to the movies, going to the movies, so we're going insane
00:57:52Smog, killer in the smog
00:57:54A dirty cloak of pollution, lit shards of foul
00:57:57Activities of criminals
00:57:59And hampers the swift vengeance of the death
00:58:04can you make me 12 copies of this right away these old comics they were great the new ones
00:58:15they stink nothing in real life ever happens that exciting 12 copies of this now your
00:58:24driver's license yes please what do you got 12 cars the bank turned me down for a vacation loan
00:58:35for a vacation see so i've decided to brutally murder a bunch of women to
00:58:43settle the score oh yeah yeah yeah so i thought i'd leave
00:58:50a xerox copy of my driver's license oh it was my picture and everything sounds pretty psycho to me
00:59:04okay gentlemen
00:59:08okay gents come on will you kindly do me the honor of gracing this briefing room with your presence
00:59:14come on everybody sit down will you what do you mean i never read i've been on the force 22
00:59:20years
00:59:22and i've come to the conclusion that people are shit you want to talk about
00:59:25shit pal let's talk about the goddamn legal system
00:59:31life's a real piece of shit huh oh no mine's not my life's pretty darn good
00:59:39who's the kid i wish you've been here a couple of shitty months hey
00:59:45nagursky stan nagursky i'm brent falcone your new partner i think it's flash gordon
00:59:57my wife divorced me then she died i'll tell you about it sometime okay gentlemen
01:00:03i suppose you've all heard about the driver's license killer the guy who puts a xerox copy of
01:00:10his driver's license in the bodies of all the women he's murdered many of you guys got any leads
01:00:17any clues
01:00:20ideas and anything yes officer feloni
01:00:30officer brent falcone why don't we just get his name and address off his driver's license
01:00:39this young officer here apparently thinks this is a picture show in a theater
01:00:46this is real life feloni walk into the da's office with evidence like that there's shit in your holster
01:00:56why be excuse i gotta take a shit
01:01:02all right everybody
01:01:11i
01:01:12i treated in our patrol car for a videotape machine
01:01:18because i ain't walking the guy's here
01:01:35uh
01:01:36uh
01:01:49Oh, look over there.
01:01:51Look at that man.
01:01:52He looks like he's not feeling very well.
01:01:55Stan, can I get out and see if he needs any help?
01:01:58I don't give a damn who cares.
01:02:04This is exciting.
01:02:07Woo!
01:02:09Woo!
01:02:23How you doing, pal?
01:02:24How did you look like I'm doing, man?
01:02:27Wow.
01:02:27This is fantastic.
01:02:29You're my first confrontation.
01:02:31Yeah, lucky me.
01:02:34Say, what do you got?
01:02:35Uh-huh.
01:02:35Uh-huh.
01:02:36They wouldn't fill my prescription.
01:02:38No?
01:02:40No.
01:02:41Well, what's it for?
01:02:42Uh-huh.
01:02:43Cough drops.
01:02:44Cough drops?
01:02:45No.
01:02:45I woke up this morning.
01:02:48I think it was this morning, but it could have been a couple of weeks ago.
01:02:53But I woke up this morning...
01:02:55Poor fella.
01:02:56Listen, you better come with me.
01:02:58I don't know when it was, because I woke up a lot, you know?
01:03:01Yeah, me too.
01:03:03Okay.
01:03:07What are you doing?
01:03:09Ow!
01:03:09Ooh!
01:03:10Ow!
01:03:11Too tight?
01:03:11Yeah, that hurts.
01:03:14Well, maybe we have some lotion in the car.
01:03:16Yeah, that'd be real nice.
01:03:18You're a good guy.
01:03:23Here we go.
01:03:25Uh, excuse me, sir.
01:03:27Here, let's go this one.
01:03:29Hey, Stan, I made it to rest.
01:03:30What about my dog?
01:03:32What kind of dog is it?
01:03:33A blue dog.
01:03:34Blue dog?
01:03:35Stan, we better find this kind of dog.
01:03:37I don't think it'll be very hard to find.
01:03:38How the hell with this dog?
01:03:39It's a blue dog.
01:03:41There aren't many blue dogs around.
01:03:44That's for sure.
01:03:44Comfortable?
01:03:46No.
01:03:47So anyway, I got my master's in social welfare.
01:03:53And at the same time, I got real active with the World Health Fund.
01:03:57I also work with the International Symphony Guild on weekends.
01:04:01You know what we're doing?
01:04:03We're sending 10,000 local Mexican kids to our two-week symphony camp in Mexico City,
01:04:10where they can learn music in a real Mexican setting.
01:04:14Isn't that wonderful?
01:04:16Fine.
01:04:17Fine, fine.
01:04:19Now I'm gonna give you the first of Nagurski's laws.
01:04:23Never throw water on a sleeping junkie.
01:04:27What?
01:04:28What are you doing for?
01:04:30I'm wet.
01:04:31I'm wet.
01:04:31What are you getting the shit out of me for?
01:04:33I'm wet.
01:04:34I'm wet.
01:04:35Look.
01:04:36We have a...
01:04:37Oh, I'm sorry.
01:04:38We have a niner, sevener, niner, Caucasian, five foot three inch, thrashing, squilling female,
01:04:46being thrown out of a car.
01:04:49Stan, they're killing that girl.
01:04:51Fuck that.
01:04:52Let's go over to Sunset and talk to some whores.
01:04:54She's in the street.
01:04:56Balconi.
01:04:57Now I'm gonna give you my law number two.
01:05:00Is it okay?
01:05:00Never investigate anything where you might possibly have to get out of the car.
01:05:05Help!
01:05:08Where's my dog?
01:05:14I got this dog, you know, who is really messed up because he was doing some animal tranquilizer
01:05:21or something like that.
01:05:24Really?
01:05:25Yeah.
01:05:26And when I got up, I reached over to smack my dog.
01:05:32Yeah.
01:05:34Because when I get up, I like to smack him.
01:05:39I went whack, you know, and...
01:05:43That's not nice.
01:05:45My dog got really pissed off.
01:05:48Sure.
01:05:49And he ran in the bedroom, and he put some Ajax in my syringe, and it fucked me up, right?
01:05:59So, uh, I may not be too high right now, but, uh, uh, I'm clean.
01:06:09Flake out, Mac, flake out.
01:06:12Nagurski's law number three.
01:06:14Always call the car a vehicle around whores.
01:06:17They get off on that.
01:06:19Good evening, ladies.
01:06:20Want to step over to the vehicle, please?
01:06:24What's new, girls?
01:06:26I was stabbed in the leg by an aircraft mechanic.
01:06:28I'm sorry.
01:06:29Some creep went and killed Stacy.
01:06:33Left the Xerox of his driver's license right on a face.
01:06:37Man.
01:06:38That was weird, Stan.
01:06:43Nice talking to you, girls.
01:06:45We'll see you around.
01:06:47Be careful.
01:06:48Bye-bye.
01:06:528-9-10-er.
01:06:538-9-10-er.
01:06:548-9-10-er.
01:06:558-9-10-er.
01:06:57What am I doing?
01:07:00I'm gonna hit the flashers, okay?
01:07:03Help yourself.
01:07:04This is fantastic.
01:07:07I can't tell you how excited I am to be riding with you.
01:07:10I'm glad you're excited, but, you know, I don't want to say anything, but you could be a little boring.
01:07:15You know?
01:07:16Really?
01:07:17I like your enthusiasm, but you're boring.
01:07:19And turn the damn flashers off.
01:07:23You know, he's right, man.
01:07:24You are boring.
01:07:26You're a real drag, you know?
01:07:27I said flake out.
01:07:29Yeah.
01:07:29Okay, man.
01:07:31Good night.
01:07:32Good night.
01:07:33Good night.
01:07:35Good night.
01:07:36Good night.
01:07:36Good night, man.
01:07:37I like you.
01:07:39Am I drag?
01:07:41What?
01:07:42Am I really boring?
01:07:44Nah, you're okay.
01:07:46It's just that he's a pain in the ass.
01:07:49Don't you think you're too hard on the fella?
01:07:51I said he's a pain in the ass.
01:07:54At least I'm not boring.
01:07:57Well, don't be too sure.
01:08:00Code 412.
01:08:02Code 412.
01:08:03Break in Sunset Boulevard.
01:08:05Corner Gardener.
01:08:06Freedom Qatar.
01:08:11Negerski's law number four.
01:08:13Never go near a music store that's been cut into with an acetylene torch.
01:08:46Hey, man, get out of my face.
01:08:49I didn't mean to be in your face.
01:08:53Um, why don't we just bop over to my house.
01:08:57Look around the garage.
01:08:59I'll bet we can rig up a set of drums just for you.
01:09:10Stan, a little kid shot me.
01:09:17Oh, boy.
01:09:20Oreos.
01:09:21Devil cream.
01:09:26Mmm.
01:09:31Did you see that?
01:09:36Things weren't always this bad, Balcony.
01:09:39Back in the old days, people respected cops.
01:09:42The ones that didn't, we busted their ribs and locked them up.
01:09:48But today, it's a fucking joke out there.
01:09:53Can't convict them, can't arrest them.
01:09:56As long as they don't come between me and my chili dog, to hell with them.
01:10:00I still think somebody's gotta care.
01:10:07Excuse me for interrupting your lunch.
01:10:10Officer Brent Falcone here.
01:10:14If any of you would, would like to talk about this, I just want you to know, I'm here to
01:10:22listen.
01:10:33Well, it's like I was on camera.
01:10:35I mean, and this is not my order.
01:10:42Code 9-9.
01:10:44Hold on.
01:10:49Code 6-6-6.
01:10:52Hey.
01:10:53Somebody wants you to go to 4013 Chandler and try to arrest Samuel Stockman.
01:10:59AKA driver's license killer, considered armed and hassle lawyer.
01:11:05We're here.
01:11:074013 Chandler.
01:11:12Aha...
01:11:13Uhh...
01:11:15Mr. Stockman?
01:11:22Raphael Mysterio, a Iowa, a newspaper serial killer.
01:11:37Uh...
01:11:39Mr. Stockman?
01:11:39I know that guy.
01:11:41I take my wife everywhere, but she finds a way home.
01:11:44I said to my wife, where do you want to go for your anniversary?
01:11:47She said, I want to go somewhere I've never been before.
01:11:49I said, try the kitchen.
01:11:53Hey, Stan, what do we do?
01:11:56You heard him.
01:11:57The guy's got a lawyer.
01:12:03Stan, looks like a 211 in there.
01:12:07You better call for backup.
01:12:09I'll go on the bystanders.
01:12:11One of those mothers could be in on it, Falcone, and blow your face away.
01:12:15I've got to drop it.
01:12:27Excuse me.
01:12:28Excuse me, please.
01:12:29Move back.
01:12:31Move back.
01:12:32Somebody could get hurt.
01:12:33Please, walk back.
01:12:39Excuse me.
01:12:41Excuse me.
01:12:43Excuse me!
01:12:45Excuse me!
01:12:47Excuse me!
01:12:54Hi, honey.
01:12:56I've been shot again.
01:13:11Oh, honey.
01:13:17Brent, I'm leaving you.
01:13:20Look at you.
01:13:22Look at me.
01:13:24Look at your son.
01:13:26Look at the dog.
01:13:27It's not just the dog, Brent.
01:13:29Cats all up and down the neighborhood are being handcuffed by your son.
01:13:36I don't know who you are anymore.
01:13:39Oh!
01:13:41Oh!
01:13:43Tammy?
01:13:44Do you see what's happening to us?
01:13:47Look at this.
01:13:48Look at this.
01:13:49You're starting to wear all the same ugly bargain basement garbage the other off-duty cops wear.
01:13:55Oh!
01:13:57You ever see yourself in that stuff?
01:13:59You look like a cop.
01:14:02And look at me.
01:14:03I don't want to wear blue anymore.
01:14:05You know that, Brent?
01:14:08Goodbye.
01:14:12Stanley.
01:14:13Huh?
01:14:14We got a guy here.
01:14:15He's got a hot tip on the driver's license.
01:14:17Hot tip?
01:14:19I'll give you a hot tip.
01:14:21Turn off your hearing aid any time a stoolie wants to sell you something.
01:14:26Six to one, he's trying to sell you down the river.
01:14:28No, no, no, Stan.
01:14:29This guy's on the level.
01:14:30I'm telling you.
01:14:31He's not just trying to make a deal.
01:14:33Come on, Stan.
01:14:36He's in the interrogation room.
01:14:37Yeah, that's a waste of time.
01:14:39You're going to be proud of me.
01:14:40I think we'll crack this one.
01:14:42Yeah, I'm proud enough of you.
01:14:44I don't need this.
01:14:56He calls himself Mousy.
01:14:59No kidding.
01:15:01Also known as Marvin Jerome, Milton James, Mark Lejong.
01:15:05Small-time chiseler, con man.
01:15:08Likes to expose himself to household pets.
01:15:12What's new, Mousy?
01:15:14I'm straightening, Gursky.
01:15:15This is strictly legit.
01:15:17You know that psycho?
01:15:18He came into my photocopying shop last week.
01:15:20He came back again today.
01:15:23Thanks.
01:15:24No, I only smoke mentals.
01:15:25Oh, I'm sorry.
01:15:27I think that psycho's ready to strike again.
01:15:31You do?
01:15:32That's an interesting theory, Mousy.
01:15:34He wanted a dozen more copies of that driver's license I made for him last week.
01:15:39I said, no way, pal.
01:15:40You ain't getting nothing.
01:15:43And then he said he's going to start murdering women again this afternoon.
01:15:50Maple and Chandler.
01:16:07Excuse me.
01:16:07What?
01:16:09Amorphous of Brent Falcone.
01:16:12May I see some identification, please?
01:16:15I'll give you a copy of my driver's license.
01:16:18Okay.
01:16:19Damn it.
01:16:23Can I help you?
01:16:47You're going to have to come with me.
01:16:52Where are you going?
01:16:52You're innocent until proven guilty.
01:17:08Buckle up.
01:17:09What?
01:17:24Who are you going to have to come with me?
01:17:32What?
01:17:33Keep going.
01:17:35Come with me.
01:17:37Let's go.
01:17:38Let's go.
01:17:43Wow, what a trip
01:17:55How about we grab a sandwich my tree
01:18:04Get a hold of yourself get a hold of yourself
01:18:10Don't try anything funny
01:18:15I know how to handle this thing
01:18:18Sure you do
01:18:20Hey Brent, you better watch out man
01:18:22That guy is nuts
01:18:23He's whacked out
01:18:25He does a lot of dope
01:18:30You play?
01:18:34Don't try anything funny
01:18:38Classical or pop
01:18:42Folk, probably
01:18:44That's great
01:18:45So do I
01:18:50What's your favorite song?
01:18:53I don't know
01:18:56Lots of things
01:19:01Do you know feelings?
01:19:05Oh
01:19:05Oh boy
01:19:11Sit down
01:19:12Listen to this
01:19:24Feelings
01:19:26Nothing more than feelings
01:19:32Trying to forget
01:19:35My
01:19:38Feelings of love
01:19:52Me
01:19:55Solamente
01:19:57Solamente
01:19:58Dime
01:19:59Solamente
01:20:09Dime
01:20:11I just come up and visit with you.
01:20:13We could jam together.
01:20:19I know about guys like you.
01:20:22Somewhere along the line, you took a wrong turn.
01:20:25All you need is a little support, a little direction.
01:20:29You'll be back doing your own thing.
01:20:32Maybe you'll even have your own band.
01:20:38Feelings, all of my life all feelings.
01:20:50Meanwhile, I'd be happy to keep an eye on your place.
01:20:53You know, water the plants.
01:20:55Get a cleaning lady in every once in a while.
01:20:57It's really no sweat.
01:20:59Hey, just leave me an extra set of keys in the kitchen.
01:21:02That is, if you can trust a cop.
01:21:14If I can trust a cop...
01:21:18If I can trust a cop...
01:21:22I can't trust no cops!
01:21:26I can't trust no cops!
01:21:28I can't trust no cops!
01:21:33You shouldn't have done that, Mrs. Darkman.
01:21:40That does it!
01:21:42That does it!
01:21:43What do I have to do to get through to you guys, huh?
01:21:45I mean, what the fuck do I have to do?
01:21:49I go around busting my balls for you, huh?
01:21:52This is what I get?
01:21:53Will you get this?
01:21:53Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
01:21:56Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
01:21:59Where do we go wrong, huh?
01:22:00Your mommy didn't give you enough love?
01:22:02Let me give you some love.
01:22:03Here's some love.
01:22:04Ha ha ha!
01:22:05Want a little more love?
01:22:07All right.
01:22:09Do you believe this guy, Stan?
01:22:11I was gonna take care of his place.
01:22:13I was gonna look after him.
01:22:15I was even gonna give him a job at the band!
01:22:18Well, you don't fucking deserve no job at the band, man!
01:22:21You probably couldn't even play for shit, you know that?
01:22:24You couldn't even watch out for shit!
01:22:26You're singing sucks, you know that?
01:22:27It sucks!
01:22:28It sucks!
01:22:29It sucks!
01:22:30Ha ha ha ha!
01:22:30Ha ha ha ha!
01:22:50It really sucked.
01:23:05Ha ha ha ha!
01:23:22Ha ha ha ha!
01:23:26Ha ha ha ha!
01:23:27Oh, oh!
01:23:28How are you doing?
01:23:29Ow!
01:23:55Hey, kid, don't take it so hard.
01:23:59Everybody shoots somebody sometimes.
01:24:02It's a cop's life.
01:24:17Car 7-11, a 12-11 family dispute at 7-11, 12-11, 12th Street.
01:24:21You understand the reason you have to?
01:24:34It's your turn, Stan.
01:24:37What?
01:24:39It's your turn.
01:24:41My turn? I've got seniority.
01:24:44I don't give a shit.
01:24:45Oh, come on.
01:24:46Get out of the car.
01:24:47What?
01:24:49Get out of the fucking car.
01:24:53All right.
01:24:55All right.
01:24:57Give me my cap.
01:24:59Come on.
01:25:02Twit.
01:25:05Laconi's law number one.
01:25:09Let Nogorski do it.
01:25:11You've got to let your anger out.
01:25:14Will you let it out?
01:25:15You've got to show people that you can...
01:25:18I have pride.
01:25:20I'll be afraid.
01:25:24You got it, baby.
01:25:25You got it.
01:25:27No more anger.
01:25:28Get out of your hand.
01:25:30Get out of your hand.
01:25:32All right.
01:25:33Break it up.
01:25:33Break it up.
01:25:36Hey, don't shoot me.
01:25:37I'm here to help you.
01:25:39Oh, okay.
01:25:45Wow.
01:25:46Somebody woke me up.
01:25:47I hate cops that don't want to get involved.
01:25:51Guys like that just don't sit there.
01:25:56I think I'm coming on to some acid I did in 1967.
01:26:00We're seven.
01:26:04We're seven.
01:26:06Yeah.
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