00:00The Sultan brought me a bottle of his favorite tokay!
00:33What do you think of that, eh?
00:35Not bad!
00:37Not bad?
00:39My dear Münchhausen, it's impossible to find better!
00:42Humbug, Your Majesty!
00:45What do you wager that I won't procure for you within the hour
00:48a bottle of tokay far superior to this
00:51from the Imperial Cellar at Vienna,
00:54a mere thousand-odd miles away?
00:57Accept my challenge!
00:58If I don't succeed, you may cut off my head.
01:02These are my stakes. What are yours?
01:05I accept.
01:06And if you succeed, you may take from my treasury
01:09as much treasure as the strongest man can carry.
01:13Agreed!
01:14Give me pen and ink, and I will write to the Empress immediately.
01:26Berthold! Berthold!
01:30Coming!
01:32Oh, blast! Sorry, Chips.
01:34I've gotta go.
01:58Take this to Vienna. To the Empress.
02:01She will give you a bottle of wine.
02:03Bring it straight to me.
02:05Take this to Vienna. To the Empress.
02:05Righto!
02:09Huh?
02:11Huh?
02:13Huh?
02:17Huh?
02:21Huh?
02:23Huh?
02:23Huh?
02:25Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
02:30oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
02:31oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
02:31oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
02:32oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
02:35oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
02:55Perhaps you would care for a little light entertainment while you wait.
03:11I have been composing a short opera.
03:14Would you like to hear a song or two?
03:16No, thank you.
03:16Oh, you'll love it.
03:18It's a comedy.
03:19It's called The Torturer's Apprentice.
03:25Here's the overture.
03:50The curtain rises on a typical everyday torture chamber.
03:55Josric, the young apprentice, sings of his joy in his job.
04:00The torturer's apprentice went his merry way to work one day.
04:06I bend and stretch and fly my trade, making people all afraid.
04:12But things look black, business is slack.
04:15There's no one on the rack but me.
04:21Act four is set in an abattoir.
04:24I see a lot of slapstick.
04:27We begin with the arrival of the eunuch's chorus who sing,
04:30Cut off in my prime, mein Herz, mein Herz.
04:36Cut off in my prime, surrounded by beautiful women all the time.
04:45A eunuch's life is hard, a eunuch's life is hard, a eunuch's life is hard.
05:00And nothing else.
05:03Excuse me a moment.
05:05Oh, you won't want to miss this aria.
05:07It reminds me of my school days in England.
05:17Life is rather like a game.
05:21It's important that you win.
05:26And though it seem a terrible shape,
05:30You lie and sheep in India.
05:34Play up and win the game.
05:39Steady.
05:41Where the hell's Berthold?
05:43Dunno.
05:44Who's with you?
05:45Well, if he's not here in three and a half minutes,
05:47the sultan is going to cut off my head.
05:49And?
05:51And?
05:52Was that all?
05:54Oh, I'm sorry, I don't find that funny.
05:56You find that funny?
05:57This isn't a joke.
05:59It's a wager.
06:00A wager?
06:03He's asleep.
06:05I can hear him snoring.
06:06About 900 miles away.
06:08Cut!
06:09Hey!
06:10Yeah!
06:16He's under a tree.
06:17Near Belgrade.
06:19What?
06:20There's a barhole beside him.
06:22Hope he hasn't been at it.
06:24So do I.
06:26What's the wind speed, Gus?
06:29Three knots.
06:32Hmm.
06:43Hmm!
06:48Fuck!
07:02I'm a modern man, these days I find
07:06You have to be awfully cruel to be kind
07:09I'm a modern man, you will agree
07:14It's either you or me
07:17Well, time's nearly up, I think
07:38Ready?
08:08Not late, am I?
08:09No, not late, thank you very much
08:15Thanks, I needed a trim
08:20Much obliged from the Empress
08:39Mmm, delicious
08:42You win
08:44Treasurer, allow my friend here to take from the treasury
08:47As much as the strongest man can carry
08:51Yes
09:19Yes
09:20That's it
09:31Oh
09:38Oh
09:39Oh
09:41Oh
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