- 1 day ago
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🦄
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00:00:02New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:09New skin dangerously hot is equipped.
00:00:18You're staring.
00:00:20You like what you see?
00:00:21Maybe.
00:00:30When are you gonna tell me I hate who you are?
00:00:32You know who I really am.
00:00:34I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:35Such a dumb username.
00:00:37Oh, okay, guacamole wizard275.
00:00:39Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:42You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:43You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:45Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:47Or at least a photo.
00:00:50Maybe someday.
00:00:55Crap, I'm late.
00:00:57Good luck, Skylifter Queen.
00:01:01Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:09In the game of castle claimers,
00:01:11I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:14But on my first day at Edmunds Academy,
00:01:16I feel like a peasant.
00:01:19Watch it!
00:01:20This isn't public school.
00:01:23Forget your training wheels.
00:01:26At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:40Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:44No!
00:01:46God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:49It's ruined!
00:01:56He's so hot.
00:01:57Hey!
00:01:57I told you to stop the car!
00:02:04Oh my gosh, it's cool!
00:02:05He's so hot!
00:02:10Hey!
00:02:12What is wrong with you?
00:02:13Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:16Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:18What are you with me, son?
00:02:20What are you talking about?
00:02:22Why?
00:02:24I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:26No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:30You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:32Yeah, I broke a lot of hearts by a cop.
00:02:34Okay?
00:02:37You should know that.
00:02:38I don't know who you are, but you were a-
00:02:41You were a-
00:02:42Eh.
00:02:43Eh.
00:02:44Eh.
00:02:44Eh.
00:02:47Eh.
00:02:50Eh.
00:02:52Eh.
00:02:56Eh.
00:03:00Eh.
00:03:01Eh.
00:03:06Eh.
00:03:09Eh.
00:03:21oh fuck now we're even my laptop better not be broken i can't lose my connection to valley
00:03:29clean you just paid the wrong enemy you just made the wrong enemy i'm going to make every
00:03:41classroom every hallway and every rumor in this school you're a personal nightmare i'm going to
00:03:49make your life a living hell what's going on close fighting the new girl now close leaving the new
00:03:55girl yeah idiot i can see that just met an unhinged person good thing the universe balances it with
00:04:03you same ran into a certified asshole can't wait to see you in the game tonight
00:04:11cole do you need help i can help you
00:04:16the new girl poured coffee on him this bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off michael
00:04:21but he's not your cole shut up lindsay he's not yet
00:04:29hi i'm jen and this is lindsay
00:04:33hi i'm hailey so nice to meet you your first day jitters it's totally understandable we want to make
00:04:39sure you feel really welcome and so we'll take you to your locker
00:04:42come on thank you bye-bye let's go
00:04:48uh there you go thanks so much
00:05:12oh you're welcome new girl honestly it's kind of an improvement on your face
00:05:22guacamole wizard wow what are you catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy
00:05:28get it back hold on
00:05:31hey if you go to edmund's academy you should come to locker 83 right now send here now your
00:05:38little gamer friend can see your ugly little face
00:05:42so when can i meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt
00:05:45i'm your friend first max at least check on me
00:05:48oh is it the online level ah chill please
00:05:54no way what is it no valley queen goes to the school
00:06:04please ignore that someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank send
00:06:12what is wrong with you you mess with cole edmunds and you're gonna mess with me
00:06:17edmunds what you don't know that his family owns the whole school
00:06:21wow you really did crawl out of the gutter didn't you
00:06:26stop recording me
00:06:29jen is a new girl
00:06:31wait is the new girl valley queen
00:06:36there's no way the new girl is valley queen
00:06:38could it be jen
00:06:42ew
00:06:46your enemy is our enemy goal
00:06:48and i just made sure that the new girl knows that
00:06:51no chance it's jen
00:06:52so is it
00:06:54she does look kind of cute
00:07:03please ignore that someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank
00:07:06what was i thinking of course she's not my online lover
00:07:14hey there buttercup
00:07:15keep walking hayley just keep walking
00:07:18you got a problem with shaving this morning or
00:07:22my name's hayley
00:07:24wow hayley
00:07:26i think you uh
00:07:27i'm going to suspend your upper lip right there
00:07:31what a coincidence
00:07:33so did you
00:07:34oh no
00:07:37oh i'm sorry
00:07:39i forgot you don't even need shaving cream
00:07:41you're just a man child with follicle issues
00:07:47whoever ends up with her i must have failed in the eye exam
00:08:02i'm so relieved to see you something happened and i lost the game i thought i'd never see you again
00:08:08i think it's time we call this what it is
00:08:12and what is this what i think it is is i want to be with you and you want to
00:08:18be with me
00:08:19as more than just friends
00:08:21oh thank god
00:08:23i honestly want that more than anything
00:08:25you're my soul mate
00:08:27like i like you so much
00:08:28okay well since we're dating now
00:08:30um
00:08:32i'm ready to send my photo
00:08:34wait really
00:08:36yeah
00:08:36get ready
00:08:43okay
00:08:44no face
00:08:46just the boobs
00:08:48is it a bad idea but all my online friends said it's cool
00:08:51pg-13 nudes are harmless
00:08:53all the kids do this
00:08:55you'll love it
00:09:00oh this lighting hates me
00:09:02come on hayley confidence you literally fight dragons online
00:09:11okay yeah that's actually kind of
00:09:14what
00:09:18oh my god seriously
00:09:21hello
00:09:22anyone
00:09:24don't look at me
00:09:28don't look at me
00:09:29i'm trying not for viable are we
00:09:31i don't think that you're supposed to do it like that
00:09:33get out now
00:09:35fine
00:09:35ow
00:09:37dammit
00:09:42wrong
00:10:15You're helping me
00:10:16I won't, I didn't plan it, but here we are
00:10:26Excuse you, these boobs are for someone else
00:10:28We're not a little boyfriend, don't we?
00:10:30That is shocking
00:10:31Yeah, actually
00:10:32And he'd probably kill you right now if he saw you were flirting with me
00:10:35Flirting?
00:10:36Yeah, don't lie to yourself
00:10:37I've got a girlfriend too
00:10:38My thoughts and prayers to her
00:10:40Funny
00:10:41Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:46Fine by me
00:10:49Oh, I know
00:10:51With all the purple bra, by the way
00:10:53I like it in a weird way
00:10:55Not in my type, but
00:10:57You know, power theory
00:10:58Would you just get out of here?
00:11:09Hopefully guacamole wizard will like it too
00:11:12Jen, red alert
00:11:14Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting
00:11:17I think it's time to take drastic action
00:11:21Don't be a coward
00:11:22Just send it
00:11:23Jen
00:11:28Oh my god
00:11:30Here goes nothing
00:11:38Still no response?
00:11:40Don't freak out
00:11:40He's probably just busy
00:11:46Give it back
00:11:46Why?
00:11:47You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:50Oh, this is actually a really good photo
00:11:52Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it
00:11:55Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:57Mm-hmm
00:11:57Got it
00:12:00What are you doing?
00:12:06What are you doing?
00:12:12What are you doing?
00:12:15Oh my god
00:12:16Oh my god
00:12:17Oh my god
00:12:31Dude, your enemy's new just got put up on the big screen
00:12:34What?
00:12:34Yeah
00:12:49Come on
00:12:50Let's see if these boobs are photoshopped
00:12:54Stop, delete it, please
00:12:56Delete it
00:12:57Dricks, death, cheating
00:12:59Dricks, death, cheating
00:13:07Oh my brave knight
00:13:09I wish you were here with me right now
00:13:16oh my god oh cool your enemy's kind of hot since you're so into slutty photos why don't
00:13:24we just go ahead and go full nude
00:13:47my school enemy is my online girlfriend
00:13:55stop it oh my god
00:14:07hey you okay give that to me
00:14:18now give the phone back jan
00:14:20what the hell cole i thought you'd be happy
00:14:28how does it feel being exposed to the whole school not good huh now if you don't delete
00:14:32it off your phone i'm exposed to what else is fake about you and i know it's not just
00:14:36your purse
00:14:38why are you even defending her she's the loser who has nude photos for random men
00:14:43anybody's got more personality than all of you combined
00:14:45and if you mess with her you mess with me you hear me
00:14:54cole is on my side now is he doing this to play with my feelings i just need to be
00:14:58alone
00:15:04cole is a rich asshole and he said we were enemies but why did i get butterflies when he looked
00:15:11at me today
00:15:14don't stay up too late honey
00:15:17love you mom
00:15:19wait mom
00:15:24do do people change
00:15:26like can a spoiled brat somehow become nice
00:15:33well maybe just give them a second chance
00:15:54what's up to you huh
00:15:55there's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:15:58they're my favorite
00:16:00noted
00:16:00is that all
00:16:01the whole school treats me like i'm their punching bag
00:16:03i'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship
00:16:08oh
00:16:09i'm really proud of you
00:16:11and then there's this guy
00:16:12he has this vendetta against me but at the same time he's super contradictory
00:16:17it's so confusing
00:16:18sounds like you're into this guy
00:16:21sounds like you're into this guy
00:16:22no i'm not into this guy
00:16:24i like you only you
00:16:31i really liked your photo by the way
00:16:33you did
00:16:34are you gonna reciprocate
00:16:35i was thinking it would be better if we met in person
00:16:38that sounds amazing
00:16:40when with
00:16:41about after school
00:16:42at the balcony
00:16:43i'll bring flowers
00:16:44deal
00:16:54i'm about to meet my boyfriend
00:17:05stop thinking about cole
00:17:15call me father
00:17:16i heard about you harassing jen at school today
00:17:19defending that nobody
00:17:21hayley girl
00:17:22he was not a nobody dad
00:17:23are those for her
00:17:29what the fuck
00:17:33what the fuck
00:17:34i know what hayley is cole
00:17:36her mother works as a maid
00:17:38at my office
00:17:39that whole family is trash
00:17:41stay away from her
00:17:42and what if i say no
00:17:44stay away from hayley cole
00:17:46or i'll fire her mother
00:17:48what if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable
00:17:51i'm almost 18
00:17:53soon i'll have my inheritance
00:17:54i hate to make hayley wait but
00:17:56she can't know who i am before i make sure her family is safe
00:18:01you're sick
00:18:04it's called watching out for your future
00:18:11oh hi
00:18:13i'm hayley
00:18:14yes
00:18:16so nice to meet you
00:18:18god
00:18:19i'd give anything just to hear her say my name
00:18:21but the moment she knows
00:18:22i lose her forever
00:18:26thank you for the flowers
00:18:28you're so nice
00:18:33guacamole wizard
00:18:35fail
00:18:39guacamole wizard
00:18:40ew
00:18:42you're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend
00:18:45pathetic
00:18:45maybe he's married
00:18:47or maybe he's fat
00:18:49and maybe he's sitting on his life video
00:18:53i don't want any more trouble
00:18:56why is guacamole wizard still not here
00:18:58oh no we're not here to give you any trouble
00:19:00we just noticed that you didn't have any lunch
00:19:02and so we thought we would bring you a sandwich
00:19:06eat it
00:19:20call me
00:19:21so you thought that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school
00:19:26you're a maid's daughter
00:19:27so you can go ahead and eat trash
00:19:30guacamole wizard
00:19:30where are you
00:19:32oh and by the way
00:19:34mccall's not gonna come save you
00:19:35because after all
00:19:36he's rich
00:19:37like me
00:19:42i'm nothing like you
00:19:47yeah i'm nothing like you
00:19:50cole again
00:19:51why is he always here when i need help
00:19:54pick it up
00:19:55cole we were kidding
00:19:57it's ketchup
00:19:58pick
00:19:59pick that bloody thing up
00:20:04take her you're going to record this
00:20:13didn't your dad tell you not to mess with hayley anymore
00:20:15don't think you have leverage here
00:20:17because i'll tell your mom how fucked up you are
00:20:20you want to hold that thing next to your face
00:20:22and do what i say
00:20:25i will leave hayley alone
00:20:29i will leave hayley alone
00:20:35got it
00:20:35yeah
00:20:36let's go
00:20:38what are you looking at
00:20:42got it
00:20:43let's go
00:20:52uh thank you
00:20:54wow
00:20:56never thought i'd hear you say that
00:21:00why do you keep following me around
00:21:02i just
00:21:04i happen to see you
00:21:06were you waiting at someone
00:21:08yeah
00:21:09my boyfriend actually
00:21:13well he
00:21:14he kind of stood me up so
00:21:16maybe you didn't do it on purpose
00:21:20maybe you gotta do it nice today
00:21:22cole are you being nice to me
00:21:26you thought we were enemies
00:21:28i mean i still find you incredibly annoying though
00:21:30so
00:21:31not that annoying
00:21:32maybe you'll like me once you realize i have layers
00:21:35are you trying to play with my feelings cole edness
00:21:37cause it's not gonna work
00:21:38i'm like those stupid spoiled heiresses
00:21:46how'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her
00:21:52he
00:21:53he makes me feel safe
00:21:56you wouldn't understand that though
00:22:02you don't understand better than you think
00:22:05cole understands me better than i think
00:22:09i don't see
00:22:11how you touch him like this
00:22:22if you keep staring i'm gonna think you like what you see
00:22:26no my
00:22:28my boyfriend has way better abs than you do
00:22:33in the game
00:22:35oh in the game
00:22:43why does he have to smell so good
00:22:49are you that slow in the game too
00:22:52i can see why he likes you
00:23:04i can't do this
00:23:07i love my boyfriend
00:23:08and you will never understand that
00:23:10he's smart and he's kind
00:23:12and
00:23:13he loves me for who i am
00:23:16that is so much more important to me than
00:23:18whatever this is between us
00:23:20i wish i could just tell her right now
00:23:30wait it couldn't be
00:23:34cole what was that notification on your phone
00:23:42it was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed
00:23:51champagne problems huh
00:23:54you live such a tough life
00:24:00what was i thinking
00:24:01we are from two different worlds
00:24:03he just wants to play with me
00:24:05but why did i want to kiss him so badly
00:24:12why didn't you come to school today
00:24:14i
00:24:15got into a car accident
00:24:16really
00:24:16are you okay
00:24:17you have to keep me in the hospital till prom
00:24:20he was right
00:24:21who
00:24:22nobody
00:24:23which hospital are you staying at
00:24:24i want to come visit you
00:24:25no no you can't
00:24:27i look miserable now
00:24:28you need to see me in style
00:24:30fine
00:24:31if you say so
00:24:32so
00:24:33are we going to prom together
00:24:35hell yeah we are
00:24:41why would anyone want to sit next to her
00:24:44whoever needs a charity case
00:25:01oh
00:25:01you
00:25:03oh
00:25:03me
00:25:04why is she so lucky
00:25:06cole's never been this way with any other girl
00:25:09people think you're really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:11i'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:14because you don't do any homework
00:25:21you finished it
00:25:23it's okay
00:25:24we'll get you to know each other more
00:25:25i'm a little bit curious about you actually
00:25:27i'm curious about you though
00:25:29like uh
00:25:30how close are you
00:25:31with your mom
00:25:33what is he trying to do
00:25:35it's none of your business
00:25:36but i'm very close with my mom
00:25:38i'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:39i'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:40i'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:42does colt genuinely want to know me
00:25:53so
00:25:53so
00:25:54are you going to prom
00:25:55i don't know
00:25:56i do well
00:25:57i don't know
00:25:58so you have a date
00:26:01or shall i say victim
00:26:02are you jealous of me
00:26:04yeah
00:26:04me
00:26:05jealous
00:26:05no
00:26:06why would i be jealous
00:26:07oh because i think you so secretly want me
00:26:10you are so
00:26:10full of yourself
00:26:12you can do this on your own
00:26:13yeah
00:26:16no way
00:26:18it's a self-locking door
00:26:19really
00:26:20miss gorman's gonna be back in an hour
00:26:22i'm sure it'll be fine
00:26:23i'm stuck here with you for a full hour
00:26:25no
00:26:26sorry
00:26:26am i that bad
00:26:28i think maybe we can pick up
00:26:29where we left off
00:26:31don't worry
00:26:31maybe trust me
00:26:34we're keeping our distance this time actually
00:26:36yeah
00:26:46that was my first kiss
00:26:50my first kiss was not supposed to go like that
00:26:52it was supposed to be special at prom
00:26:54and not just bumping lips
00:27:07you're really good at this
00:27:09why don't you regret it
00:27:11you know
00:27:13we can do more if you want
00:27:29and i've been holding back a lot more than you think
00:27:32so you want me
00:27:36i think you know how much i want you
00:27:42do you want me
00:27:44i want you
00:27:50oh shit
00:27:54anyone in here
00:27:57oh my god how long have you two been in here
00:28:00i really need to change this lock
00:28:02are you two okay
00:28:03oh
00:28:04yeah
00:28:05yeah we're good
00:28:06we're okay
00:28:07great
00:28:08nice
00:28:15you're just going to pretend like that didn't happen
00:28:16what didn't happen
00:28:18hey wait
00:28:19it's just hormones
00:28:21jake
00:28:22can you still play after your accident
00:28:24relax i'm not dead
00:28:26wait car accident guacamole wizard
00:28:34i gotta go
00:28:43guacamole wizard
00:28:44huh
00:28:47are you all better after your car accident
00:28:49do i know you
00:28:51why is he being so standoffish
00:28:53is he trying to give me a surprise
00:28:55or he heard something about cole
00:28:58you're crushing your soda can
00:29:01she thinks guacamole wizard is jake myers
00:29:03she was in a real car accident
00:29:05according to you so is guacamole wizard
00:29:07i don't think this anymore
00:29:09cole
00:29:09wait
00:29:12oh shit
00:29:17what's up guys
00:29:18um
00:29:20we were just chatting
00:29:21chatting about jake's grand plans to kick balls
00:29:24was there something that you wanted cole
00:29:28hey
00:29:28just figured i'd bring you some mozzarella sticks
00:29:31they're your favorite
00:29:32right
00:29:35how did you know that
00:29:37tough day huh
00:29:38there's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:29:40they're my favorite
00:29:42he couldn't be cole
00:29:44could he
00:29:50the truth is um
00:29:51a dickhead
00:29:54what do you honestly get out of your bro
00:29:55you came to my table bro
00:29:57and knocked my ball away
00:30:05there it goes again
00:30:06cole is jealous
00:30:07we got a problem here cole
00:30:09we don't have a problem
00:30:11we don't have a problem
00:30:13right
00:30:14tell cole to get my ball
00:30:15and we don't have a problem
00:30:17jake it would take me forever to find one of your balls
00:30:22i have the ball now
00:30:23can we stop measuring each other's dicks
00:30:27cole and jake are fighting over hayley
00:30:30maybe i can use that
00:30:34jake
00:30:35hey
00:30:36what if i told you that i have an internship opportunity for you with my dad
00:30:40wait seriously
00:30:41yeah just one little catch
00:30:42you have to pretend to like hallie roth
00:30:47all right you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports
00:30:50if you have any questions i'll be at my desk
00:30:54i thought guacamole wizard would feel more like cole but if he's really jake
00:30:59then maybe this was always going to end
00:31:01you've literally been staring for five minutes
00:31:03i'm thinking
00:31:04about the report or about him
00:31:06why are you making it so weird about jake
00:31:08we literally made out of a sword room
00:31:11maybe maybe i've known jake longer
00:31:13no you don't
00:31:14how do you know that
00:31:15you're going to prom with someone else
00:31:16stop acting like you're serious about me
00:31:18you have no idea
00:31:25oh my god is jake asking me to prom
00:31:41hailey someone's here to see you
00:31:54are you asking me to prom
00:31:56too cheesy
00:31:58no it's cute
00:32:01the accident
00:32:02the mozzarella sticks
00:32:03he is guacamole wizard
00:32:05so um
00:32:06what do you think
00:32:08you want to go to prom with me
00:32:10i
00:32:11i should feel happy
00:32:13but why does this feel so wrong
00:32:16hey can we not
00:32:21hey can we not
00:32:23dude seriously what is your problem
00:32:25my problem here dude
00:32:26is that me and my lab partner have work to do
00:32:28and you're out here to strike me with bad puns
00:32:30wow
00:32:32that is some weak shit man
00:32:34oh that's weak shit
00:32:36is this weak shit
00:32:39oh my god
00:32:47wow
00:32:48wow
00:32:49he's got really pretty eyes
00:32:55wait i can't
00:32:57colt put me down
00:32:58put me down
00:32:59put me down
00:33:01don't do that again
00:33:15new couple alert
00:33:18fuck off jen
00:33:19why do you hate me so much gull
00:33:20you and i
00:33:21we're not that different
00:33:22and if you'd realize
00:33:24and give me a chance
00:33:24i think that we would make a great match
00:33:27like say if you asked me
00:33:29to prom
00:33:30i might say yes
00:33:33jen
00:33:34you want to go to prom
00:33:36with me
00:33:37jen you want to go to prom
00:33:39with me
00:33:40we're both hot
00:33:41and we're both rich
00:33:42and our dads have been in business
00:33:44like forever
00:33:45so
00:33:46how romantic
00:33:47i think i think i'll pass
00:33:50you're gonna regret this col edmonds
00:33:55oh here they come
00:33:57if i message corcamole wizard
00:33:59i wonder if jake's phone will ding
00:34:03what should we wear to prom
00:34:15i'll talk to you later
00:34:16i'll see your own school okay
00:34:18okay yeah i'll see you later
00:34:18bye
00:34:20he's so different
00:34:21maybe he's still recovering from the accident
00:34:26haley
00:34:36jeez
00:34:43here i'll get it
00:34:45oh
00:34:50you're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone
00:34:52i don't care
00:34:53i do care
00:34:56here we are
00:34:57i mean he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me
00:35:17he doesn't even know you
00:35:19and you do
00:35:20how do you know i like mozzarella sticks
00:35:22that's something i've only ever talked about
00:35:24because
00:35:25i pay attention to what you like
00:35:28i noticed it at lunch
00:35:30the first day
00:35:32you were watching me
00:35:34just don't go about it
00:35:51move
00:35:52colt is talking to hayley again
00:35:54your job is to keep them away from each other jake
00:35:58unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you
00:36:00obviously i do
00:36:01okay then break them up
00:36:03okay then break them up idiot
00:36:31hey how um i just wanted to thank you again for the other night
00:36:37the other night
00:36:38the other night
00:36:38yeah it was
00:36:39yeah it was so sexy
00:36:43you're so sexy
00:36:44jake what are you talking about
00:36:48uh hate to break it to you asshole but she's my prom date
00:36:57and she's a real tiger in the pet room
00:36:59oh shit
00:37:02oh shit
00:37:03oh shit
00:37:04oh my god
00:37:16oh my god
00:37:27it's principal stevens i've got to save cole i mean jake i've got to save jake
00:37:42paylee rock that's detention after school don't be late
00:38:03calm what are you doing here
00:38:05can we keep you company
00:38:07uh it's the least i could do if you saved my ass today
00:38:11the locker thing that was an accident
00:38:14oh sure
00:38:17so uh you and you and jake huh
00:38:23no he lied about that
00:38:24i don't know why though
00:38:26good
00:38:29father the asshole every time he looks at you makes me sick to my stomach
00:38:33thinking about him touching you kissing you
00:38:36i could kill him
00:38:40promise me you won't go to prom
00:38:45okay fine i won't
00:38:49because i want to go to prom with you
00:38:54okay everyone let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate
00:39:04oh my god i am so fed up with this
00:39:18oh
00:39:23oh sorry i tripped
00:39:27No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:29Jen.
00:39:30What?
00:39:31It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:36They're dead.
00:39:38They're both dead.
00:39:39Oh.
00:39:41How am I going to be able to talk to guacamole wizard?
00:39:45Oh.
00:39:46What are you?
00:39:47Are you almost crying?
00:39:49It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:53Jen, what's going on over there?
00:40:06What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:09This squirman's burning.
00:40:10Mr. Edmonds.
00:40:11Oh, please.
00:40:12It's baking soda and water.
00:40:13You're fine.
00:40:14Detention.
00:40:15Today after school.
00:40:17Shit.
00:40:29Jake, hey.
00:40:31Oh, uh, sorry.
00:40:32Got to get to student council.
00:40:36Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:39The rice trick?
00:40:42Yeah.
00:40:44You don't know about the...
00:40:47Come on.
00:41:00Hey.
00:41:01Um, Ella.
00:41:03It's Emma.
00:41:05Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:06Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:16Hey, it's going to be okay.
00:41:19We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:23No, it's not just the phone or the laptop.
00:41:25It means...
00:41:26It means I can't...
00:41:28Can't what?
00:41:31I talked to a friend online.
00:41:34He's really important to me.
00:41:39And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:51You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and big ol' ego and...
00:41:58Rich kid for bronca.
00:42:00Okay, okay.
00:42:00I get it.
00:42:04You're kind of sweet.
00:42:10Hey, look at that.
00:42:12Oh, my God.
00:42:15Oh, my God.
00:42:17You're a miracle worker.
00:42:24What is taking so long?
00:42:26You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:28Shut up, Ella.
00:42:30It's Emma.
00:42:31Whatever.
00:42:38Oh, my God.
00:42:45Oh, morning, Valley Whore.
00:42:48How are things in the castle?
00:42:55Valley Whore?
00:42:56What are they talking about?
00:43:12Guacamole Wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:16Guacamole Wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:20Oh, my God.
00:43:21Someone hacked my Castle Claimers messages.
00:43:23Touch me, Guacamole Wizard.
00:43:26Yeah.
00:43:27Hey, Valley Whore.
00:43:28Show him what you really like.
00:43:29Ha, ha, ha.
00:43:48Here you go, here, this is for you.
00:43:54Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:43:56You hacked my laptop?
00:43:59Oh no, it wasn't me.
00:44:01It was that kid, Ella, but I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:04What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:07What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:09No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:11Hey everyone, I think Valley Whore's a catfish.
00:44:15Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:44Stop it, stop, stop!
00:44:48I thought I'd send the janitor some time.
00:44:53Jake!
00:44:55Hey!
00:44:57Now's the time.
00:44:58Tell them.
00:45:00Tell them what?
00:45:00That you're a guacamole wizard.
00:45:03Who's guacamole wizard?
00:45:06Here you go.
00:45:10Oh my God.
00:45:11Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:14Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:19What?
00:45:19Why would you do that?
00:45:20Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:21Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:25Jake, is this true?
00:45:26Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:30Sorry.
00:45:32It was nothing personal?
00:45:38Yeah, nothing personal.
00:45:41Oh!
00:45:42Oh!
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:46Oh!
00:45:46Oh!
00:45:47Alright, alright, alright.
00:45:48Enough!
00:45:49What in the world is going on here?
00:45:51Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:53That's all him.
00:45:53Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:01Let me get this straight.
00:46:03You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:06It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:08It was Jen's Cyber Boy spreadsheet.
00:46:10Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:13Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:16You think that's what it could be?
00:46:17Who cares?
00:46:18I care.
00:46:20And I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:22So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:25What?
00:46:25Over my dead body?
00:46:27Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:30I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:32No, no, please don't.
00:46:33Please.
00:46:34Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:36Max's dad called.
00:46:37He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:39You're gonna go, and you're gonna ask Jen to prom.
00:46:42End of discussion.
00:46:49Come on, you big coward.
00:46:51Message him.
00:46:52Just do it, just do it.
00:46:56You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:05I could never think that.
00:47:12But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:14Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:15I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:22I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:24If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:37Okay.
00:47:39You got this, Haley.
00:47:40Just take a deep breath.
00:47:42You got this.
00:47:43You got this.
00:47:47You look beautiful.
00:47:51Thank you, Mom.
00:47:56No, I don't want you to take a deep breath.
00:48:09Hey, Haley.
00:48:12I'm glad you came.
00:48:13You look so pretty.
00:48:14Hi.
00:48:15Hey, Max.
00:48:16Your house is gorgeous, I mean...
00:48:18Nah, it's just my parents' blood, honey.
00:48:20You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:22They don't care about shit. Get drunk, girl!
00:48:24Woo!
00:48:28Get up.
00:48:38What are you doing here?
00:48:40Valley whore.
00:48:43Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:45Hey, everyone, let's give it up for Valley Whore.
00:48:48Valley Whore!
00:48:53Jen, why are you doing this? What have I even done to you?
00:48:56To me, oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:48:59because those little cringy messages on your castle game,
00:49:02those are concerning.
00:49:04Actually, I kind of feel a bit of a perv.
00:49:06Did you know that, Hailey?
00:49:08She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:10Pervy princess!
00:49:13Pervy princess!
00:49:14Pervy princess!
00:49:16Pervy princess!
00:49:17Pervy princess!
00:49:18Hey, let's get pervy tonight.
00:49:21Leave me alone.
00:49:23Wait, is there a fire?
00:49:25Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:39Paul?
00:50:17Are you... him?
00:50:20Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:23Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:25Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:28No, I'm not.
00:50:29Yes, you are.
00:50:30It's okay.
00:50:31You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:33Hm.
00:50:34So you too.
00:50:35This whole time.
00:50:39Oh, my God.
00:50:40I am such an idiot.
00:50:42Hailey, wait.
00:50:47Hailey, whoa.
00:50:49Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:50You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:54Jen was doing just fine.
00:50:56I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:50:57Then what were you trying to do?
00:50:58I guess you.
00:51:00Obviously.
00:51:01The white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:03I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:06What about guacamole, wizard?
00:51:09What are you...
00:51:18Who is that?
00:51:19I don't know.
00:51:20Just the devil.
00:51:23Get in the car.
00:51:26I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:28Get in the car!
00:51:29Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:32Hailey!
00:51:33I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:35Hi, Mr. Evans.
00:51:37So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:43Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:45My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:50And that's not you.
00:51:51You will be forgotten.
00:51:53You're a maid's daughter.
00:51:55And your mom works for me.
00:51:57Stay away from him.
00:51:59Or I swear to God, your mother is fire.
00:52:03Dad, stop!
00:52:04Don't you touch my family.
00:52:07I'll stay away.
00:52:08Oh, Hailey, come on.
00:52:09You don't mean that.
00:52:12I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:15I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:21I hate everything about you.
00:52:23I hate all of it.
00:52:25I don't want any part of it.
00:52:27So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:31Hailey!
00:52:35Fuck this!
00:52:37That's me.
00:52:40No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:43Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:52:46Hailey, not that's real love.
00:52:48Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:49I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:53Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:02Oh!
00:53:03Hi, Hailey.
00:53:04I'm Emma.
00:53:05I know who you are.
00:53:06Right.
00:53:07I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped Jen ruin your life.
00:53:12So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:15Good as new.
00:53:20Oh, wow.
00:53:22Thanks, Emma.
00:53:23Okay, bye.
00:53:29One down.
00:53:30One to go.
00:53:31You're so cool.
00:53:33I know, Emma.
00:53:34Wanna go to prom?
00:53:35Why not?
00:53:38Let's get these lovebirds together.
00:53:44Hi, Mr. Edmunds.
00:53:46Hi, Max.
00:53:47And Max's friend.
00:53:48Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:50Cole's grounded.
00:53:51Oh, he is?
00:53:53But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:53:56What can I say, Max?
00:53:58Actions have consequences.
00:54:00Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:03Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:08We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:11Cole?
00:54:11Cole?
00:54:12My son, Cole?
00:54:14Reviewing budgets.
00:54:15He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:18Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:20And we just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop
00:54:22so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:35Go away!
00:54:40Max, what...
00:54:41What are you guys doing here?
00:54:43Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:44I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:47Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:49What?
00:54:49What's going on?
00:54:51Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:53You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:54You can be together.
00:54:55Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:00No.
00:55:01I'll tell her myself.
00:55:03Stick me in your car.
00:55:10Welcome all the wizard.
00:55:14Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:16I just need some time alone.
00:55:25Open the door.
00:55:27Wait, what?
00:55:29He's here?
00:55:37It's you.
00:55:39I should have given you this to you a long time ago.
00:55:43Haley, I wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning.
00:55:46My dad threatened to follow your mom and I had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:51I was.
00:55:51I got my inheritance.
00:55:53And I can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose.
00:56:10I don't understand if this changes things.
00:56:13If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:32Nicole, I love you.
00:56:34You do?
00:56:36Yes, you idiot.
00:56:38I've loved you for months.
00:56:40I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing though.
00:56:43Because I had to be loyal to him and...
00:56:46But you're him.
00:56:48You didn't expect her.
00:56:50I...
00:56:50I mean, I...
00:56:52I always hoped it was you.
00:56:55What do you hope to?
00:56:57Yes.
00:56:58I hoped it was you.
00:57:00You were always there for me.
00:57:04That and...
00:57:05You're really fucking hot.
00:57:07That and...
00:57:12Hey, uh...
00:57:13One of those things I said we could do.
00:57:16There we go.
00:57:18Yeah.
00:57:21Take my clothes off.
00:57:22You're getting there, don't worry.
00:57:23Mm-hmm.
00:57:45You're getting there.
00:57:46Okay, so...
00:57:47What do you think?
00:57:4810 out of 10.
00:57:49Yeah.
00:57:51Would do again.
00:57:52Okay, sex with sex with me specifically.
00:57:55I've only ever had sex with you specifically.
00:57:58Alright.
00:57:58Alright, that's fair.
00:58:00I'll, uh...
00:58:01I'll take that as a one.
00:58:07What is my life now?
00:58:08Am I being nice to Cole Edmonds?
00:58:11Mm.
00:58:11Oh God, no.
00:58:12I fully expect you to...
00:58:14Continue to berate me endlessly.
00:58:17And I'll just...
00:58:18I'll just lust behind it.
00:58:20There's always been lust behind it.
00:58:21I'll take a minute now.
00:58:23Stop it.
00:58:27Um...
00:58:28Same.
00:58:29Isn't Promenade?
00:58:31I think you know if it's Promenade.
00:58:34Okay.
00:58:34I don't know.
00:58:36But...
00:58:36The real question is...
00:58:37Do you got a date?
00:58:40Cole, are you asking me to prom?
00:58:42Oh, I would've asked you earlier.
00:58:44But...
00:58:45Jay kind of gave me to the show.
00:58:46Oh God, please don't mention his name again.
00:58:48I don't want to hear it.
00:58:50Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice.
00:58:51Nope.
00:58:52But I don't even have a dress.
00:58:54Wait here.
00:58:59I just slept with Cole Edmonds,
00:59:01and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds.
00:59:03Who would've guessed?
00:59:08I thought...
00:59:09Only the best for my princess.
00:59:11Where did you get that?
00:59:14Uh...
00:59:14I might've gotten you a dress on the off chance that you...
00:59:19might've wanted to go to prom with me,
00:59:21and maybe had nothing to wear.
00:59:24Of course they'll go to prom with you.
00:59:30Mr. Edmonds!
00:59:32I'd expect you to be here.
00:59:34Cole?
00:59:34Are you here?
00:59:36Cole?
00:59:37Are you here?
00:59:39Mr. Edmonds!
00:59:40You can't just barge into my house like this!
00:59:43I see you, Cole.
00:59:43You are in big trouble.
00:59:44Oh!
01:00:02Hey, uh...
01:00:03You almost done in there?
01:00:04You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes.
01:00:10Okay, I'm ready!
01:00:11Okay, I'm ready!
01:00:22What do you think?
01:00:27My God, Haley, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
01:00:32Uh-uh-uh.
01:00:34I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick.
01:00:36You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes.
01:00:3920 more minutes?
01:00:40I want 10.
01:00:42Deal.
01:00:45Thank you all for using the prom voting site to catch your votes.
01:00:50I hear we have a winner!
01:00:53And your 2026 prom queen is...
01:00:58Jen Longfellow!
01:01:01Thank you!
01:01:02Oh, my God!
01:01:04Thank you guys so much!
01:01:07Seriously, this means the world to me.
01:01:08I mean, like, who else would win, right?
01:01:12Oh, this is just the perfect moment.
01:01:18Oh, my God, that's Haley and Cole!
01:01:22It was fun!
01:01:23It's very too bad.
01:01:24Yes!
01:01:28Hey, uh...
01:01:30This time that's up.
01:01:31No.
01:01:32But...
01:01:32Who cares?
01:01:35Hell yeah!
01:01:36Woo!
01:01:39Ew, literally, what the fuck?
01:01:41Damn!
01:01:42Language!
01:01:42I am the queen, okay?
01:01:44She's just a little pervy princess.
01:01:46Come on!
01:01:47Everyone say it with me!
01:01:49Pervy princess!
01:01:50Pervy princess!
01:01:51Pervy princess!
01:01:55Pervy princess!
01:01:56Woo!
01:01:57Wait...
01:01:58Wait, wait, wait.
01:01:59What are those?
01:02:00Those are texts between me and my dad.
01:02:01Make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you.
01:02:05His dad's month is essential to funding my campaign.
01:02:09Don't worry, daddy.
01:02:10If I can't have him, no one can.
01:02:14I'm gonna destroy Haley Roth's life.
01:02:16Is this real?
01:02:18Jen's crazy!
01:02:21Who did this?
01:02:22Who did this?
01:02:25What?
01:02:26You exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think I was gonna hack your phone?
01:02:30You little skit!
01:02:32You know, Jen, as the principal, I'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama.
01:02:41But quite frankly, you are the worst.
01:02:45And I think it's time that you are expelled from Edmonds Academy.
01:02:49You can't do that!
01:02:51I'm the principal, so, uh, yes I can.
01:02:56I'm the principal!
01:02:58Oh!
01:02:58Oh!
01:02:59Oh!
01:03:00Oh!
01:03:02Oh!
01:03:02There was no internship!
01:03:05You lied to me!
01:03:06Oh!
01:03:12Oh!
01:03:13Oh!
01:03:14Oh!
01:03:17Oh!
01:03:19Oh!
01:03:20I'm the only as a crown.
01:03:22Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:24Oh!
01:03:25Yeah, no can do.
01:03:27All I have to offer is a lowly knight with a chip on his shoulder and an awesome sense of
01:03:33humor.
01:03:33Oh!
01:03:34How can I refuse?
01:03:41oh no that's my dad
01:03:45we are going home right now you've disobeyed me for the last time boy yeah i'm not a boy dad
01:03:52you talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name
01:03:57yet you can't see i've already become that man and it's because of hailey and you can accept that
01:04:04i'll make my own path and best believe me i can i'll say this that's the most backbone i've ever
01:04:11seen in you cole joy pro
01:04:22i am so proud of you
01:04:26i can't have done with all you being by my son that was terrifying
01:04:31it's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before well so i love you viala queen
01:04:37i love you guacamole wizard
01:04:39oh my god i gotta change that username
01:04:41yeah you do
01:04:42oh my god
01:04:43oh my god
01:04:46so
01:04:46you
01:04:46you
01:04:49you
01:04:55you
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