- 9 hours ago
Full Episode of Crush Alert! Love Request from My Enemy
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:11New skin dangerously hot is equipped.
00:00:20You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe.
00:00:32When are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:33You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275.
00:00:41Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Oh, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:49Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:57Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, scholarship queen.
00:01:03Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:10In the game of castle claimers,
00:01:12I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:16but on my first day at Edmunds Academy,
00:01:18I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it!
00:01:21This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels!
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:48God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey!
00:01:59I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my God, he's cold!
00:02:07He's so hot!
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:15Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:20What are you with me, son?
00:02:22What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:31You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:34Yeah, I break a lot of hearts, buttercup.
00:02:36Okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:40I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:44You were a...
00:02:44Eh...
00:02:45Eh...
00:02:45Eh...
00:02:46Asshole!
00:02:52Alright.
00:02:53I broke something of yours.
00:02:55Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:58You got my attention.
00:03:01So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:08Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:11Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:22Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:26My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:28I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:35You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:42I'm going to make every classroom,
00:03:45every hallway,
00:03:46and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:50I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Close fighting the new girl.
00:03:55Now close leaving the new girl.
00:03:57Yeah, idiot.
00:03:58I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:13Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:23But he's not your Cole.
00:04:24Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:26He's not yet.
00:04:28Come on.
00:04:30Hi.
00:04:31I'm Jen.
00:04:32And this is Lindsay.
00:04:34Hi.
00:04:36I'm Haley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39It's totally understandable.
00:04:40We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:42And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:44Come on.
00:04:46Bye.
00:04:46Let's go.
00:04:50There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:00Oh.
00:05:14You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:24Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:26What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Give it back.
00:05:31Hold on.
00:05:33Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to locker 83 right now.
00:05:38Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:39Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:48At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online love-up?
00:05:52Ah, chill.
00:05:53Please.
00:05:56No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, the Halloween goes to school.
00:06:06Please ignore that.
00:06:07Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:10Send.
00:06:14What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmunds, and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmunds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:23Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:28Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jenna's a new girl.
00:06:33Wait.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:35Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:40Could it be...
00:06:42Chen?
00:06:44Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy, Cole.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chance it's Chen.
00:06:55So is it...
00:06:56She does look kinda cute.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:06Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:16Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking, Haley.
00:07:20Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning, or?
00:07:24My name's Haley.
00:07:26Well, Haley, I think you, uh, you used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:33What a coincidence.
00:07:35So did you.
00:07:36Oh, no.
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:41I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:44You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:49Whoever ends up with her must have failed in the eyes, yeah.
00:08:04I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened today.
00:08:07I lost the game.
00:08:08I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:14And what is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is I want to be with you, and you want to be with me.
00:08:22As more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:28You're my soulmate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:30Okay, well, since we're dating now, um, I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:37Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:45Okay.
00:08:46No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea?
00:08:51But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:55All the kids do this.
00:08:57You'll love it.
00:09:02Oh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:04Come on, Hayley.
00:09:05Confidence.
00:09:06You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:13Okay.
00:09:14Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of...
00:09:20Oh, my God.
00:09:22Seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:24Anyone?
00:09:26Don't look at me!
00:09:30Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're trying to have a Bible, are we?
00:09:33I don't think you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:35Get out.
00:09:36Now!
00:09:37Fine.
00:09:39Ow!
00:09:39Damn it!
00:09:44Come on.
00:09:45Come on.
00:10:17You're helping me.
00:10:18Yeah, well, I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:28Excuse you.
00:10:29These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:30I love a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32That is shocking.
00:10:34Yeah, actually.
00:10:35And he'd probably kill you right now if you saw him were flirting with me.
00:10:38Flirting?
00:10:38Yeah, don't lie to yourself.
00:10:39I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:40My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:42Hmm, funny.
00:10:44Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go her separate ways?
00:10:48Fine by me.
00:10:51Oh, and, um...
00:10:54Well, the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:56I like it in a weird way here.
00:10:57I mean, I am not in my type, but, you know, power theory, or whatever.
00:11:01Would you just get out of here?
00:11:11Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:15Jen, red alert.
00:11:16Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:19I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:23Don't be a coward.
00:11:24Just send it.
00:11:26Jen.
00:11:30Oh, my God.
00:11:32Here goes nothing.
00:11:40Still no response?
00:11:42Don't freak out.
00:11:43He's probably just busy.
00:11:48Give it back.
00:11:49Why?
00:11:49You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:55Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:58Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:12:00Got it.
00:12:03What are you doing?
00:12:33What's going on?
00:12:34Dude, your enemy's nude just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:36What?
00:12:36Yeah.
00:12:51Come on.
00:12:53Let's see if these builds are photoshopped.
00:12:57Stop.
00:12:57Delete it, please.
00:12:58Delete it.
00:13:10Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:12I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:18Oh, my God.
00:13:20Oh, cool.
00:13:21Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:23Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:30Jen, no.
00:13:31No, no, no, no, no.
00:13:32Jen, stop!
00:13:33Jen!
00:13:34Jen!
00:13:34Jen!
00:13:35Jen!
00:13:36Jen!
00:13:36Jen!
00:13:37Jen!
00:13:38Jen!
00:13:39Jen!
00:13:39Jen!
00:13:39Jen!
00:13:40Jen!
00:13:41Jen!
00:13:43Jen!
00:13:53Jen!
00:13:54Jen!
00:13:54Jen!
00:13:55Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe!
00:14:03Hey.
00:14:10You okay?
00:14:12Give that to me.
00:14:20Now give the phone back, Jen.
00:14:23What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:32Not good, huh?
00:14:33Now, if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her?
00:14:41She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:46Naby's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:50You hear me?
00:14:55Haley, are you?
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone.
00:15:02Haley!
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:09And he said we were enemies.
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:19Love you, Mom.
00:15:20Mom.
00:15:22Wait, Mom.
00:15:26Do people change?
00:15:30Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56Tough day, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:00They're my favorite.
00:16:02Noted.
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:10Oh.
00:16:11I'm really proud of you.
00:16:13And then there's this guy.
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time, he's super contradictory.
00:16:19It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:23Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:27I like you.
00:16:28Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you going to reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:41That sounds amazing.
00:16:43When?
00:16:43When?
00:16:44After school.
00:16:45At the balcony.
00:16:46I'll bring followers.
00:16:47Deal?
00:16:56I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:18Call me, father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:22Defending that nobody.
00:17:24Hayley girl.
00:17:24He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:37I know what Hayley is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:42That whole family is trash.
00:17:44Stay away from her.
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:46Stay away from Hayley Cole.
00:17:49Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:54I'm almost 18.
00:17:55Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:57I hate to make Hayley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:02safe.
00:18:04You're sick.
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:14Oh, hi.
00:18:16I'm Hayley.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:21God, I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:30You're so nice.
00:18:36Guacamole wizard.
00:18:37Fail.
00:18:41Guacamole wizard.
00:18:43Ew.
00:18:45You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend to bet it.
00:18:48Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:51And maybe he's sitting on his wife's video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:58Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh, no.
00:19:01We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:03We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:05And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:08Eat it.
00:19:22Call me.
00:19:23So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:28You're a maid's daughter.
00:19:30So you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:32Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:35Oh, and by the way,
00:19:36Cole's not going to come save you.
00:19:38Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:40Like me.
00:19:44I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:53Cole again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up.
00:19:58Cole, we were kidding.
00:20:00It's ketchup.
00:20:01Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:06Take her, you're going to record this.
00:20:15Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Haley anymore?
00:20:18Don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:20Because I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:22You want to hold that thing next to your face
00:20:24and do what I say?
00:20:27I
00:20:28will leave Haley alone.
00:20:32I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:37Got it?
00:20:38Yeah.
00:20:39Let's go.
00:20:41What are you looking at?
00:20:45Got it?
00:20:46Let's go.
00:20:54Uh, thank you.
00:20:57Wow.
00:20:59Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:03Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:05I just...
00:21:07I happened to see you.
00:21:09Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:11Yeah.
00:21:12My boyfriend, actually.
00:21:16Well, he...
00:21:17He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:19Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:22Maybe you got into it nice today.
00:21:25Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:28You thought we were enemies.
00:21:31I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though, so...
00:21:34Am I that annoying?
00:21:35Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:37Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Edna?
00:21:40Because it's not going to work.
00:21:41I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:49How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:55He...
00:21:56He makes me feel safe.
00:21:58You wouldn't understand, though.
00:22:05I understand better than you think.
00:22:08Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:11I don't see why you touch him like this.
00:22:25If you keep staring, I'm going to think you like what you see.
00:22:29No, my...
00:22:31My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:36In the game.
00:22:38Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:46Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:52Are you a little slow in the game, too?
00:22:55I can see why he likes you.
00:22:58I can see why he likes you.
00:23:07I can't do this.
00:23:09I love my boyfriend.
00:23:11And you will never understand that.
00:23:13He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:16He loves me for who I am.
00:23:19That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:23I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:33Wait, it couldn't be.
00:23:36Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:41There's nothing.
00:23:43Cole, who are you?
00:23:47What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:49It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:23:53Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:57You live such a tough life.
00:24:03What was I thinking?
00:24:04We are from two different worlds.
00:24:06He just wants to play with me.
00:24:08But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:15Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:17I got into a car accident.
00:24:19Really?
00:24:20Are you okay?
00:24:21You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:23He was right.
00:24:24Who?
00:24:25Nobody.
00:24:26Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:27I want to come visit you.
00:24:29No, no, you can't.
00:24:30I look miserable now.
00:24:31You need to see me in style.
00:24:33Fine, if you say so.
00:24:36So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:38Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:44Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:47Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:04Oh, you.
00:25:06Oh, me.
00:25:07Why is she so lucky?
00:25:09Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:12People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:15I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:17Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:24You finished it?
00:25:26It's okay.
00:25:27We'll get to know each other more.
00:25:28I'm a little bit curious about you, actually.
00:25:30I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:32Like, uh, how close were you with your mom?
00:25:36What is he trying to do?
00:25:38It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:41I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:45Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:57So, are you going to prom?
00:25:59I don't know.
00:25:59I'm going to go well.
00:26:00I don't know.
00:26:01So you have a date?
00:26:04Or shall I say victim?
00:26:06Are you jealous of me?
00:26:07Me?
00:26:08Jealous?
00:26:09No.
00:26:09Why would I be jealous?
00:26:10Oh, because I think you so secretly want me.
00:26:13You are so full of yourself.
00:26:15You can do this on your own.
00:26:16Yeah.
00:26:19No way.
00:26:21It's a self-locking door.
00:26:23Really?
00:26:24Miss Gorman's going to be back in an hour.
00:26:25I'm sure she'll be fine.
00:26:26I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:28Okay.
00:26:29Sorry.
00:26:30Am I that bad?
00:26:31I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:34Don't worry.
00:26:35Maybe trust me to do.
00:26:36Mm-mm.
00:26:37We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:39Yeah.
00:26:49That was my first kiss.
00:26:53My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:56It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:10You're really good at this.
00:27:12Why didn't I want you to regret it?
00:27:14You know, we can do more if we want.
00:27:32Anyway, I've been wanting back a lot more than you think.
00:27:35So you want me?
00:27:39I think you know much I want you.
00:27:45Do you want me?
00:27:48I want you.
00:27:53Oh, shit.
00:27:57Anyone in here?
00:28:01Oh, my God.
00:28:02How long have you two been in here?
00:28:04I really need to change this lock.
00:28:05Are you two okay?
00:28:07Oh.
00:28:08Yeah.
00:28:08Yeah, we're good.
00:28:09We're all good.
00:28:10It was great.
00:28:11Okay.
00:28:12Nice.
00:28:18You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:20What didn't happen?
00:28:21Hey, wait.
00:28:22It's just hormones.
00:28:24Jake.
00:28:26Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:28Relax.
00:28:28I'm not dead.
00:28:29Wait.
00:28:30Car accident?
00:28:31Guacamole wizard?
00:28:35Guacamole wizard?
00:28:38I gotta go.
00:28:46Guacamole wizard?
00:28:47Huh?
00:28:50Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:53Do I know you?
00:28:54Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:56Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:58Or he heard something about coal?
00:29:01You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:04She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Meyers.
00:29:07He was in a real car accident.
00:29:08According to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:11I can't take this anymore.
00:29:12Cole, wait.
00:29:15Oh, shit.
00:29:20What's up, guys?
00:29:22Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:24Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:27Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:31Hey!
00:29:31I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:35They're your favorite, right?
00:29:38How did you know that?
00:29:40Tough day, huh?
00:29:41There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:43They're my favorite.
00:29:45He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:47Could he?
00:29:53The truth is, um...
00:29:54A dickhead?
00:29:57What do you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:58You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:08There it goes again.
00:30:10Cole is jealous.
00:30:11We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:13We don't have a problem.
00:30:15We don't have a problem.
00:30:16Right?
00:30:17Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:21Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:25I have the ball now.
00:30:26Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:30Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:33Maybe I can use that.
00:30:37Jake!
00:30:38Hey!
00:30:39What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:43Wait, seriously?
00:30:44Yeah.
00:30:45Just one little catch.
00:30:46You have to pretend to like Haley Roth.
00:30:51All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:54If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:57I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:31:01But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:05You've literally been staring for five minutes.
00:31:07I'm thinking.
00:31:08About the report or about him?
00:31:10Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:12We literally made out of a sore dream.
00:31:14Maybe you've known Jake longer.
00:31:16No, you don't.
00:31:17How do you know that?
00:31:18You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:20Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:22You have no idea.
00:31:28Oh, my God.
00:31:30Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:44Haley, someone's here to see you.
00:31:58Are you asking me to prom?
00:32:00Too cheesy?
00:32:02No, it's cute.
00:32:04The accident?
00:32:05The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:07He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:09So, um, what do you think?
00:32:11You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:14I...
00:32:14I should feel happy.
00:32:16But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:20Hey, can we not?
00:32:24Hey, can we not?
00:32:26Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:28My problem here, dude,
00:32:29is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:31And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:34Wow.
00:32:35That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:37Oh, that's weak shit?
00:32:39Is this weak shit?
00:32:43Oh, my God.
00:32:51Wow.
00:32:52He's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:59Wait, I can't.
00:33:01Colt, put me down.
00:33:02Put me down.
00:33:03Put me down.
00:33:05Don't do that again.
00:33:19New couple alert.
00:33:21Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:22Why do you hate me so much, Colt?
00:33:24You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:26And if you'd realize and give me a chance,
00:33:28I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:30Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:34I might say yes.
00:33:37Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:41Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:44We're both hot, and we're both rich,
00:33:46and our dads have been in business, like, forever, so...
00:33:50How romantic.
00:33:51I think I'll pass.
00:33:54You're going to regret this, Colt Edmonds.
00:33:58Oh, here they come.
00:34:01If I message Corcomole Wizard,
00:34:03I wonder if Jake's phone will ding.
00:34:06What should we wear to prom?
00:34:09And the dance list.
00:34:19Um, I'll talk to you later.
00:34:20I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:21Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:22Bye.
00:34:24He's so different.
00:34:25Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:30Haley?
00:34:39Oh, jeez.
00:34:41God.
00:34:46Here, I'll get it.
00:34:47Yeah, I know.
00:34:52Oh.
00:34:53You're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:56I don't care.
00:34:57I do care.
00:35:00I don't care.
00:35:00Haley, I...
00:35:16I don't put a problem with Jake.
00:35:18I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:21He doesn't even know you.
00:35:22And you do?
00:35:23How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:26That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:27Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:31I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:33The first day.
00:35:35You were watching me?
00:35:38Just don't go to promenade.
00:35:54Move.
00:35:56Cole is talking to Haley again.
00:35:58Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:36:01Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:04Obviously I do.
00:36:05Okay, then break them up, idiot.
00:36:08Uh, what do I do?
00:36:11I've got a few ideas.
00:36:16Hey, look.
00:36:19Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:21I promise.
00:36:22Yeah?
00:36:23Really, like who?
00:36:23I mean, the whole school hates me, except for Jake.
00:36:27And you.
00:36:28But you're not asking me.
00:36:31Hey.
00:36:33Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:34Hey, Hal.
00:36:35Um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.
00:36:40The other night.
00:36:42Yeah, it was so sexy.
00:36:46You're so sexy.
00:36:48Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:50Here, I'm wrong.
00:36:52Uh, I hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:37:00And she's a real tiger in the bedroom.
00:37:04Oh, shit, look up.
00:37:06Oh, shit.
00:37:09Oh, shit.
00:37:10Oh, my God.
00:37:23Stop, guys, stop it.
00:37:25Stop, stop.
00:37:27What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:31Shit, it's Principal Stephens.
00:37:33I've got to save Cole.
00:37:34I mean, Jake.
00:37:35I've got to save Jake.
00:37:41Oh, my God.
00:37:43Principal Stephens, I'm so sorry.
00:37:46Bailey Rock.
00:37:47That's detention.
00:37:49After school, don't be late.
00:38:06Cole, what are you doing here?
00:38:09Can we keep you company?
00:38:11It's the least I could do if you saved my rest today.
00:38:15The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:18Oh, sure.
00:38:21So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:25No.
00:38:27He lied about that.
00:38:28I don't know why, though.
00:38:30Good.
00:38:31You know, father, asshole, every time he looks at you makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:37Thinking about him touching you, kissing you.
00:38:40I could kill him.
00:38:44Promise me you won't go to prom with it.
00:38:49Okay, fine.
00:38:50I won't.
00:38:53Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:57Okay, everyone.
00:38:59Let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:08Oh, my God.
00:39:09I am so fed up with this.
00:39:20I'm so fed up with this.
00:39:21Yeah.
00:39:23Oops.
00:39:29Sorry.
00:39:30I tripped.
00:39:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:33Jack.
00:39:33What?
00:39:34It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:40They're dead.
00:39:41They're both dead.
00:39:42Oh.
00:39:44How am I going to be able to talk to Guacamole Wizard?
00:39:49Oh, what are you, are you almost crying?
00:39:53It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:57Jen, what's going on over there?
00:40:09What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:12Mrs. Gorman, it's burning.
00:40:14Mr. Edmonds.
00:40:15Oh, please, it's baking soda and water.
00:40:17You're fine.
00:40:18Detention.
00:40:19Today, after school.
00:40:21Shit.
00:40:33Jake, hey.
00:40:35Oh, sorry.
00:40:36Got to get to student council.
00:40:40Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:43The rice trick?
00:40:46Yeah.
00:40:48You don't know about the...
00:40:50Come on.
00:41:03Hey.
00:41:05Um, Ella.
00:41:07It's Emma.
00:41:08Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:10Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:14Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:21It's going to be okay.
00:41:23We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:26No, it's not just the phone or the laptop.
00:41:29It means...
00:41:30It means I can't...
00:41:31Can't what?
00:41:35I talked to a friend online.
00:41:38He's really important to me.
00:41:42And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:55You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and big ol' ego and rich kid for Bronco...
00:42:03Okay, okay, okay, I get it.
00:42:08You're kind of sweet.
00:42:13Hey, look at that.
00:42:16Oh, my God.
00:42:19Oh, my God.
00:42:21You're a miracle worker.
00:42:28Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:30You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:32Shut up, Ella.
00:42:33It's Emma.
00:42:34Whatever.
00:42:41Oh, my God.
00:42:45Oh, my God.
00:42:49Oh, morning, Valley Whore.
00:42:52How are things in the castle?
00:42:59Valley Whore?
00:43:00What are they talking about?
00:43:16Guacamole Wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:20Guacamole Wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:24Oh, my God.
00:43:25Someone hacked my Castle Claimers messages.
00:43:27Touch me, Guacamole Wizard.
00:43:30Yeah, hey, Valley Whore.
00:43:32Show them what you really like.
00:43:51Here you go.
00:43:53Here, this is for you.
00:43:58Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:44:00You hacked my laptop?
00:44:03Oh, no, it wasn't me.
00:44:04It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:06But I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:08What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:11What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:13No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:15Hey, everyone.
00:44:15I think Valley Whore is a catfish.
00:44:19Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:47Stop it, stop, stop.
00:44:52I thought I'd send the janitor some time.
00:44:57Jane!
00:44:58Hey.
00:45:01Now is the time.
00:45:03Tell them.
00:45:04Tell them what?
00:45:04That you're a Guacamole Wizard.
00:45:07Who's Guacamole Wizard?
00:45:10Here you go.
00:45:14Oh, my God.
00:45:15Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:18Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:22What?
00:45:23Why would you do that?
00:45:24Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:25Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:29Jake, is this true?
00:45:30Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:34Sorry.
00:45:36It was nothing personal.
00:45:42Yeah, nothing personal, huh?
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:46Oh!
00:45:48Oh!
00:45:49Oh!
00:45:50All right, all right, all right.
00:45:52Enough!
00:45:53What in the world is going on here?
00:45:55Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:57That's all him.
00:45:58Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:05Let me get this straight.
00:46:07You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:10It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:12It was Jen's cyber boy spreadsheets.
00:46:14Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:17Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:20You think that's what it could be?
00:46:21Who cares?
00:46:23I care.
00:46:24And I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:27So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:29What?
00:46:29Not over my dead body.
00:46:31Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:34I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:36No, no, please don't.
00:46:37Please.
00:46:38Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:40Max's dad called.
00:46:41He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:43You're going to go, and you're going to ask Jen to prom.
00:46:46End of discussion.
00:46:53Come on, you big coward.
00:46:55Message him.
00:46:56Just do it, just do it.
00:47:00You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:09I could never think that.
00:47:16But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:18Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:19I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:26I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:28If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:43You got this, Haley.
00:47:45Just take a deep breath.
00:47:46You got this.
00:47:47You got this.
00:47:51You look beautiful.
00:47:55Thank you, Mom.
00:48:15Hey, Haley.
00:48:16I'm glad you came.
00:48:17You look so pretty.
00:48:18Hi.
00:48:19Hey, Max.
00:48:20Your house is gorgeous.
00:48:22I mean...
00:48:23No, it's just my parents' blood, honey.
00:48:24You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:26They don't care about shit.
00:48:28Get drunk, girl.
00:48:29Woo!
00:48:32Yeah.
00:48:43What are you doing here, valley whore?
00:48:47Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:49Hey, everyone.
00:48:50Let's give it up for valley whore.
00:48:52Valley whore!
00:48:57Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:58What have I even done to you?
00:49:00To me?
00:49:00Oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community because those little cringy messages
00:49:05on your castle game, those are concerning.
00:49:08Actually, I kind of feel a bit of a perv.
00:49:10Did you know that, Haley?
00:49:12She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:14Pervy princess.
00:49:17Pervy princess.
00:49:19Pervy princess.
00:49:20Pervy princess.
00:49:23Hey, let's get pervied tonight.
00:49:25Leave me alone.
00:49:27Is there a fire?
00:49:29Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:43Paul?
00:49:44No, I do.
00:49:47Maybe we'll...
00:49:50Today's eye.
00:49:58Wait a minute.
00:49:59I did it.
00:49:59No, I'm done.
00:49:59Oh.
00:49:59Oh.
00:50:00Oh.
00:50:01Oh.
00:50:03Oh.
00:50:04Oh, yourLow.
00:50:08Oh.
00:50:11Oh.
00:50:21are you him would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend okay cole is not
00:50:29him anyways we are going to the prom together no i'm not yes you are it's okay you can be
00:50:36honest about your feelings so you too this whole time oh my god i am such an idiot hey wait
00:50:47wait
00:50:53please at least take my jackets you know if you really wanted to humiliate me you didn't have to
00:50:58go to the extra effort jen was doing just fine i wasn't trying to humiliate you then what were
00:51:02you trying to do i guess you obviously the white clothes were just an added bonus i knew i shouldn't
00:51:08trusted you now what about guacamole wizard what are you who is that oh just the devil
00:51:27get in the car i'm not gonna ask you again cole get in the car dad can you just act
00:51:34normal for
00:51:35once and please introduce yourself to hayley i already assumed that's who this was
00:51:40hi mr opens so you're the scholarship trash that's hell bent on ruining cole's life
00:51:47well i've got news for you young lady my son is gonna marry a good girl from a respectable family
00:51:54and that's not you you will be forgotten you're a maid's daughter and your mom works for me
00:52:01stay away from him or i swear to god your mother is fire dad stop don't you touch my family
00:52:10i'll stay away come on you don't mean that
00:52:16i hate everything you stand for i hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what
00:52:23you think a good person looks like i hate everything about you i hate all of it i don't want
00:52:30any part of
00:52:31it so cole fell with your dad hayley
00:52:45no laptop and no phone for a week ever since mom died you've turned into this cold patriarch
00:52:50hayley not that's real love why do you have to make me so miserable
00:52:53i promised your mother i would make you a success son even if it meant saving you from yourself
00:53:07hi hayley i'm emma i know you are right i just felt kind of bad that i accidentally
00:53:15helped and ruin your life so i wanted to return your laptop to you goodness new
00:53:24oh wow thanks emma okay bye
00:53:33one down one to go you're so cool i know emma want to go to prom why not
00:53:42let's get these lovers together
00:53:48hi mr edmund hi max and max's friend sorry we weren't expecting you cole's grounded
00:53:56oh he is but it was his 18th birthday today what can i say max actions have consequences
00:54:04birthday or no cole is grounded well that really sucks because
00:54:09he is uh also the president of the prom committee we were supposed to review budgets today
00:54:16cole my son cole reviewing budgets he's never reviewed a budget a day in his life
00:54:22well mr edmunds today could be that day and we just have to give him back this school sanctioned
00:54:26laptop so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary work
00:54:40go away
00:54:44max what what are you guys doing here happy birthday cole
00:54:48i brought you my laptop and logged into your castle claimers account just get it back to me by tomorrow
00:54:53what what's going on dude it's your 18th birthday you can tell hayley who you are now you can be
00:54:59together just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are
00:55:06no i'll tell her myself stick me in your car
00:55:18mom i'm fine i just need some time alone
00:55:29open the door wait what he's here
00:55:42it's you
00:55:44i'm sure you've given this to you a long time ago
00:55:48hayley i've wanted to tell you who i was from the very beginning
00:55:51my dad threatened to fire your mom and i had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:55i was
00:55:56i got my inheritance and i can protect you and your family so you don't have to choose
00:56:14i understand that this changes things if you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard but i
00:56:23i need you to know i love you
00:56:37cool i love you
00:56:38you do yes you idiot i've loved you for months
00:56:44i mean this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing though because i had to be loyal to him
00:56:49and
00:56:51but you're him you didn't expect her i i mean i i always hoped it was you
00:57:00until you hoped
00:57:02yes i hoped it was you you were always there for me
00:57:08you're hot now you're really fucking hot
00:57:11you're really fucking hot
00:57:15hey uh there's things that we could do
00:57:20yeah i don't
00:57:22yeah
00:57:25take my clothes off
00:57:26yeah no don't worry
00:57:50okay so what do you think
00:57:5310 out of 10
00:57:54no yeah we'll do again
00:57:57i'll get sex with sex with me specifically
00:57:59i've only ever had sex with you specifically
00:58:02all right all right that's fair i'll uh i'll take that as a one
00:58:11what is my life now am i being nice to cole eggnance
00:58:16oh god no i fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly
00:58:21no i'm just i'm just lost behind it
00:58:25there's always been lost behind it
00:58:26i'll see you in a minute
00:58:27stop it
00:58:31um
00:58:32same
00:58:34isn't promenade
00:58:36i think you know if it's promenade
00:58:38okay
00:58:40but the real question is do you got a date
00:58:45cole are you asking me to prom
00:58:47oh i would have asked you earlier but jay kind of gave me to a joke
00:58:51oh god please don't mention his name again i don't want to hear it
00:58:54yeah you don't have to ask me once
00:58:56but i don't even have a dress
00:58:59later
00:59:03i just slept with cole edmonds and i'm in love with cole edmonds
00:59:07who would have guessed
00:59:12i thought
00:59:14only the best for my princess
00:59:16where did you get that
00:59:18uh i might have gotten you a dress
00:59:21on the off chance that you
00:59:23might have wanted to go to prom with me
00:59:25and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:29of course i'll go to prom with you
00:59:35mr edmonds i didn't expect you to be here
00:59:39cole are you here
00:59:41cole are you here
00:59:44mr edmonds you can't just barge into my house like this
00:59:47i see you cole you are in big trouble
01:00:06hey uh you almost done in there
01:00:09you try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:14okay i'm ready
01:00:26what do you think
01:00:31my god haley you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen
01:00:38i just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick
01:00:41you're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes
01:00:4420 more minutes
01:00:45we're in
01:00:46i do
01:00:50thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes i hear we have a winner
01:00:58and your 2026 prom queen is
01:01:03jen longfellow
01:01:05thank you
01:01:06oh my god
01:01:08thank you guys so much
01:01:11seriously this makes the world to me
01:01:13i mean like who else would win right
01:01:16oh this is just the perfect moment
01:01:23oh my god that's haley and cole
01:01:55it was fun
01:01:55princess herby princess
01:02:00herby princess
01:02:03wait wait wait wait wait wait what are those those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:06make cole edmunds fall in love with you his dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:13don't worry daddy if i can't have no one can i'm gonna destroy hayley rott's life is this real
01:02:23jen's crazy
01:02:24jen's crazy
01:02:25who did this
01:02:27who did this
01:02:31what you exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think i was gonna hack your phone
01:02:35you little shit
01:02:37you know jen as the principal i'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama
01:02:45but quite frankly you are the worst and i think it's time that you are expelled from edmunds academy
01:02:54you can't do that
01:02:55i'm the principal so uh yes i can
01:03:07there was no internship
01:03:09you lied to me
01:03:23oh my princess finally has a crown
01:03:27now all i need is my handsome prince
01:03:29oh yeah no can do
01:03:31all i have to offer is a bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder
01:03:36and a awesome sense of humor
01:03:38oh how can i refuse
01:03:46oh no that's my dad
01:03:50we are going home right now
01:03:53you disobeyed me for the last time boy
01:03:55yeah i'm not a boy dad
01:03:57you talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name
01:04:02yet you can't see i've already become that man
01:04:06and it's because of hayley
01:04:07and you can accept that
01:04:09i'll make my own path
01:04:10and best believe me i can
01:04:13i'll say this
01:04:15it's the most backbone i've ever seen in you cole
01:04:20joy prone
01:04:27i am so proud of you
01:04:31i kind of done with all you being by my son
01:04:34that was terrifying
01:04:36it's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before
01:04:39well so
01:04:40i love you guacamole wizard
01:04:44oh my god i gotta change that username
01:04:46yeah you do
01:04:47okay
01:04:47okay
01:04:48okay
Comments