- 2 weeks ago
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00:00You actually owe $80,000.
00:03Wait a second!
00:05Money affects every aspect of our lives,
00:07but most importantly, our relationships.
00:09You think it's coming off the top?
00:10You said it.
00:11Oh, wow.
00:12I am Leah Collins, and I'm a financial relationship coach.
00:15But I heard you did.
00:16Yeah, I'm pretty good.
00:17One person has nominated someone in their life
00:20who is drowning in debt.
00:23I help people take control.
00:25Let's break the bad habits that are holding us back
00:28and keeping us maxed out.
00:39I'm on my way to pick up Ms. Diana.
00:42She has nominated her daughter, Alexis,
00:46and she is concerned about her overall financial habits,
00:50her lack of discipline,
00:52not to mention Ms. Diana is dipping into her own retirement savings
00:56to fund Alexis's lifestyle.
00:59I don't know about you, but there is no way in hell
01:01my parents what's happened to their retirement
01:04to help me fund anything.
01:07I think that's Ms. Diana.
01:10How's it going? Hop on in.
01:13Diana and I had a conversation about her daughter, Alexis,
01:16but it was just broad strokes.
01:18How are you doing? It's good. How are you?
01:20It's good. It's finally getting to me.
01:22I'm going to put the face with the name.
01:23Before I meet with Alexis,
01:24I want to get her mom's side of things.
01:26So tell me, what's going on?
01:28I think Alexis needs a lot of help.
01:30Mm-hmm.
01:31Because she's gotten a little bit of trouble
01:32that I wasn't aware of.
01:33When you say trouble, what do you mean?
01:35Financially.
01:36Okay.
01:37You know, she just had some little hiccups,
01:38but debt, a lot of debt.
01:40Do you know how she accumulated the debt?
01:42Is it student loan debt, or do you really?
01:44Some of that.
01:45Mm-hmm.
01:46And then her car.
01:47I know she had an accident,
01:48and then she's had a lot of repairs.
01:50Mm-hmm.
01:51Right now, she's currently using my vehicle.
01:53Oh.
01:54That's crazy.
01:56Do you lend Alexis money at all?
01:58Um, yes.
02:00And about how often does that happen?
02:02For one point, I guess last summer,
02:04it was in like every week.
02:05Oh, my gosh.
02:06It was pretty often.
02:07I would say Ms. Diana is definitely
02:10an enabler to Alexis.
02:12It disturbs me that she has sacrificed
02:14some of her retirement money to help Alexis,
02:16because she can't get that back.
02:18I usually tell my clients
02:19who are close to retirement
02:20that this money has to last them
02:22for the rest of their lives.
02:23They can't afford to give money
02:25to their grown adult children.
02:26So tell me a little more about her background.
02:28You know, she had a short marriage.
02:29Okay.
02:30Well, I can't wait to hear about that.
02:31And it was a very expensive wedding,
02:32so that's going to be really intriguing,
02:34how much you tell you.
02:35Was it nice, at least?
02:37To whose standards?
02:38So I'm excited to see
02:43what Alexis has to say.
02:44Yeah.
02:45I wonder if she's going to throw
02:46her other little twist in there.
02:53After you.
03:00Hey, Lexi.
03:01Hey, Mom.
03:03How you doing?
03:04How are you?
03:05Hi.
03:06How are you?
03:08That looks good.
03:09How are you?
03:10Okay.
03:11Okay.
03:12All right.
03:13I brought Leah.
03:14She's a financial planner
03:15to kind of go over
03:17and figure out what's going on with you.
03:18Okay.
03:19Thank you, Jesus.
03:20I need help.
03:21I'm happy to meet Leah,
03:22because this is something I need.
03:24But also, my mom told me
03:25I need a financial coach.
03:30On the ride over,
03:31your mom was just telling me
03:32that she's a little concerned
03:34about your financial behaviors
03:36and maybe lack of financial discipline
03:38and your overall debt.
03:41Man, so I don't even know where to begin.
03:44I'm struggling.
03:45I have four children,
03:47and Alexis is the third.
03:49When Alexis was smaller,
03:51she was just so gorgeous
03:52and so sweet and real bubbly.
03:54She was very smart.
03:56Straight-A student, honor student.
03:58Both my parents let me do whatever
04:00I set my mind to do
04:02if I wanted to play basketball,
04:03so they gave me basketball court.
04:04If she want to play instrument,
04:05I'm going to invest.
04:06Whatever she wanted to do,
04:08I was on board.
04:10I was taught at a young age
04:12how to handle my finances,
04:14and I remember the biggest thing
04:16was making sure if you do get a credit card
04:18that you use it for, like, gas
04:20or just the small expenses
04:21and you pay it off immediately.
04:22And I was doing so well
04:24until I got married
04:25and we shared finances.
04:27Things started getting worse.
04:28I had to put more money
04:30into that relationship.
04:32Then I had a car accident,
04:34and then I started hanging around
04:35different people
04:36who always loved to go out partying,
04:39bar hopping, all that stuff.
04:41I was just getting credit cards.
04:43I was getting loans.
04:44I didn't read the fine print.
04:45I didn't read APR.
04:46I didn't read any of it.
04:48Everything I was taught
04:49went down the drain.
04:50Alexis doesn't want any guidance from me,
04:53so the reason why I picked Leah
04:55is because most people tend
04:57to listen to outsiders.
04:59Then they will their own flesh and blood.
05:01What do you do for a living?
05:02What's your job?
05:03So right now,
05:04I currently am a data entry
05:06supply chain specialist,
05:07so I work a full-time job right now.
05:09Okay, so break down your debt for me.
05:11You said you had student loans.
05:12About how much?
05:13Student loan debt is around 15, 10.
05:17When was the last time you paid her?
05:19I haven't paid her that hard.
05:20No.
05:21Okay, when I graduated college,
05:23I paid one payment.
05:24Okay, so we have the student loans.
05:26What else?
05:27Credit card debt.
05:28About how much in credit cards?
05:3020,000.
05:31Do you make the minimum payments?
05:33Yes, I'm doing the minimum.
05:34On your credit cards,
05:36like unnecessary things like brunches?
05:39Yeah, I was going out.
05:41I was definitely going outside.
05:42Bottomless mimosas.
05:43Okay, so yes,
05:46a big part of it was definitely paying
05:48for car repairs, too.
05:49Okay.
05:50So what's going on with the car?
05:51Why?
05:52I got into an accident in 2022,
05:55and so with that,
05:57they told me that I was at fault.
06:02So the insurance, you know,
06:04they were going to make me pay out of pocket,
06:06which I did have to pay out of pocket for my repairs.
06:08So wait, you got in a wreck,
06:10and the insurance did not cover anything?
06:12Let's go back on that.
06:13Okay.
06:14She didn't have full coverage.
06:16But I was not aware that she didn't have full coverage
06:18because I was big on that.
06:19I didn't tell her I dropped from full coverage
06:22to base availability
06:23because at that time I was already struggling.
06:25I'm paying on my car still.
06:27Okay.
06:28And since 2022 till now,
06:30I'm still working on that vehicle.
06:31It's killing me.
06:32Alexis is upside down on her car loan,
06:34which means that she owes more than the car is worth.
06:37It's also called negative equity or being underwater.
06:40She was just going through some stuff I didn't really know
06:43because she was pretty much private about.
06:45Her marriage was short-term.
06:47I mean, her big wedding.
06:48I mean, that wedding was really big and expensive.
06:50That wedding was something serious.
06:52Alexis must have paid for that.
06:54How much did she spend on the wedding?
06:55I think $10,000, $15,000.
06:57No, you didn't.
06:58I don't really guessing right now.
07:00We got personal loans during the time of the wedding
07:03because my ex decided that we should just pay for it.
07:06We should just pay for it on our own.
07:08Mine totaled up to $10,000.
07:09Now that's what I have to work on.
07:11That's what I have to deal with.
07:14I really regret sharing my personal financial information
07:18with him because I had a great credit score.
07:20I was doing real good.
07:21So what's your total amount of debt?
07:23Do you know?
07:24Do you have an idea?
07:25About $40,000.
07:26About $40,000.
07:27So when was the last time you checked your credit report?
07:31You don't do the free annual check?
07:34So I recommend checking it at least once a year.
07:36And there is a free site that you can go to if you wanted.
07:40Yeah, let's find out.
07:41Okay.
07:42Interesting.
07:43I know it's low.
07:44I know it's low.
07:45One of the benefits of checking your credit report annually
07:48is to ensure that you haven't been a victim of identity theft.
07:51If you find a suspicious account,
07:53you can dispute that with the credit bureaus
07:55and with your creditors.
07:57Are you ready?
07:58Is there anything?
07:59I just know it's low.
08:02Mmm.
08:03558.
08:04So you're close.
08:05Poor.
08:06It says poor.
08:07It is poor.
08:08I went from a 700 and something like to that is bad to me.
08:12That's not good.
08:13Oh, Lord Jesus.
08:14Like, numbers ain't making sense to me in my head anymore.
08:17It's way lower than what I thought.
08:20It is a big shock for me.
08:22What in the world has happened?
08:27What do you do when you're not able to cover your expenses?
08:30How does that work?
08:31I ask my parents.
08:32I raid my closet.
08:33I raid everything.
08:34Raid my house.
08:35I go straight to the essentials.
08:36Get the paper towels.
08:37Get the tissue.
08:38Anything else?
08:39I just, I would simply just ask.
08:41I'd be like, hey, I need some help here.
08:43Like, for some gas.
08:44Shit.
08:45Ask who?
08:46My dad.
08:47Okay.
08:48I'm a daddy's girl.
08:49I'm proud of that.
08:50Like, I've always been close to my dad.
08:53I've always shared things with him.
08:55Anytime I need anything money-wise, I would go to my dad first and ask him.
09:00He runs it by my mom, and she sends it to me.
09:03So clearly, I know she knows what's going on.
09:06Because most of the time, the sale comes in her name.
09:09Because I'm the one that transfers the money.
09:11Whoever's firm with the money, the children are always going to avoid.
09:16I'm firm with money.
09:18If you ask me for my money, I got every right to be in your business.
09:22Point blank.
09:23Period.
09:24So now you heard it.
09:28So now you know.
09:30Yeah.
09:31Okay.
09:33Aren't you retired or semi-retired?
09:35No, I'm not retired.
09:39I should be retired.
09:40Mm-hmm.
09:41But I feel like I keep working for my kids and working for everybody else and helping everybody else.
09:50I don't want to have to ask my mom when I know she needs to be retired.
09:53I know she needs to be at a place where she should be able to be financially free.
09:56So it's like, I would do what it takes to not have to ask her.
10:00I know she's trying to save her own money, but I got to do it.
10:02I don't want to keep struggling like this.
10:04I really don't.
10:05Mm-hmm.
10:06All right.
10:07I want to work for you.
10:08Okay.
10:09Fun.
10:10For her or me.
10:11So this is the Money Moves Makeover Workbook.
10:13Oh!
10:14And what I want you to do tonight is identify three long-term goals.
10:20Yeah, I can do this for sure.
10:22I like this.
10:23This is nice.
10:24Yeah, I'm gonna do this.
10:27I genuinely love these two.
10:29They make me laugh.
10:30I like this a lot.
10:32I'm gonna do my best to help Alexis stand on her own two feet financially.
10:36And to teach Miss Diana that it's okay to say no every once in a while.
10:40Yeah, she's trying to get you out of my pocket.
10:42That's the goal.
10:43So she can retire even out of my closet.
10:47Oh no.
10:48I don't want to have that much debt.
10:50I don't.
10:51I don't want to have that much debt.
10:53It's too much.
10:54The first step is awareness.
10:55So now you're aware.
10:56Now you can tackle it.
11:06The first thing about the blow.
11:07Too late for the breakdown.
11:11Hey mom.
11:12Hey Alexis.
11:13Hey girl.
11:14Yeah.
11:15What y'all up to?
11:16We can discuss your progress.
11:18I uncovered a lot when I looked at Alexis's financial statements.
11:22So now I have to have a very serious conversation with Alexis and her mom to discuss my plan to get Alexis on a healthier financial path.
11:31I did my homework.
11:32I set my goals like you said.
11:34Good.
11:35That's awesome.
11:36My long term goal is to get a house and plan for a life with kids.
11:41What?
11:42I do.
11:43We had a conversation about that.
11:44I'm pushing 30.
11:45I never wrote down my finances and my goals in such detail.
11:49It's like a light bulb I've always needed.
11:52The last time we spoke, you mentioned that you believe you have about $40,000 worth of debt.
11:56Correct?
11:57The last unveil was under this box.
12:01That represents the $40,000 that you believe you owed.
12:05After reviewing your financials, you actually owe about $80,000.
12:11It's double.
12:12Wait a second.
12:14About $80,000 worth it.
12:16Wait a second.
12:17That's way worse than what I thought.
12:20Wow.
12:21Look at the stack difference.
12:23That's what I'm really at.
12:24Because you haven't been paying attention.
12:26Dang, man.
12:32We gonna be okay.
12:33It's okay.
12:36It's just that I don't wanna be like that.
12:39Yes, you know everybody.
12:40And now I have to work 10 times harder to pay that off.
12:44It's not okay seeing that for real.
12:46I'm very disappointed.
12:48I don't wanna have that much debt.
12:49I don't.
12:50I don't wanna have that much debt.
12:51It's too much.
12:52And that's why we have that.
12:53And that's why we have Leah.
12:54This was not what I imagined.
12:55This is not the number that I thought.
12:56What happened to me?
12:57How did I get to this point?
12:58I know better.
12:59The first step is awareness.
13:00So now you're aware of what your debt is, right?
13:02And now you can tackle it.
13:03So you've been hiding a whole lot.
13:04I'm a little bit in shock.
13:05Yeah.
13:06You've been holding on to a whole lot.
13:07I had no idea.
13:08I didn't know anything about it.
13:09I didn't tell my mom or my dad anything about my finances
13:11because of the embarrassment and the shame.
13:12There's no way I'm about to tell them.
13:13I feel some kind of way like she didn't trust me.
13:15You know, I guess I'm a little rigid, but I'm not.
13:16I'm not.
13:17I'm not.
13:18I'm not.
13:19I'm not.
13:20I'm not.
13:21I'm not.
13:22I'm not.
13:23I'm not.
13:24I'm not.
13:25I'm not.
13:26I'm not.
13:27I'm not.
13:28I'm not.
13:29I'm not.
13:30I'm not.
13:31I'm not.
13:32I'm not.
13:33I'm not.
13:34You know, I guess I'm a little rigid, but at 27 years old
13:39with no children, no husband, no home, no assets, nothing.
13:45It's like, where is your debt coming from?
13:49There was one thing I was a little unsure of.
13:51One of your credit reports said that there were collections.
13:54The others didn't.
13:55Do you know if you have collections or not?
13:57Now, after looking at the report, yeah, I have three.
14:01OK.
14:02I see this so often in my line of work.
14:03People know that the debt is there.
14:05They just don't want to look at it.
14:06They hide it away.
14:07They avoid looking at their statements.
14:09But nothing will change if you keep lying to yourself.
14:12You have to add it up.
14:13Know that number.
14:14And once you know that number, that's when you can start to tackle the debt.
14:17All three were personal loans?
14:18All three.
14:19All three.
14:20Them high-interest personal loans.
14:21Not legitimate banks.
14:23Alexis' debt consists of several things.
14:26Personal loans and student loans totaling $44,000.
14:30A $16,000 car loan for a car that doesn't run.
14:34And $20,000 of credit card debt, bringing her total debt to $80,000.
14:39That's a very big number for a 27-year-old woman.
14:42At least you're facing it.
14:43Mm-hmm.
14:44Because she knows these people my age will never look.
14:47And I was 10 years older than you once I knew what my debt was.
14:50So you have plenty of time on your hands to do it.
14:52I did it in a year and a half.
14:54Wow.
14:55That's amazing.
14:56You can do it too.
14:57And I'll teach you.
14:58What did you do?
14:59So I got a $40,000 worth of debt in 18 months.
15:02First thing that I did, I used the snowball method.
15:05It's when you start with the debt that's the smallest.
15:08The smallest.
15:09So you tackle that first, you tackle that pay it off, and then that's a small win that gives you the momentum to go forward.
15:15Right.
15:16So then you put the money that you were putting towards that debt, and you put it towards the next debt.
15:20After you pay that one off, you take the money that you were paying for those two debts, and you put it towards the next one.
15:25Then you're gradually getting these small wins that give you the momentum to go forward.
15:29So I was really intense.
15:31Oh, I see.
15:32I cut out all of the extra spending.
15:34So you kind of denied yourself a little bit.
15:36I did.
15:37But it paid off.
15:38It was only for 18 months.
15:39It was very short.
15:40That is amazing.
15:41It went back quick, and then that opens up all kinds of doors.
15:44Alexis is only paying the bare minimum on all of her credit cards with a salary of $56,400 per year.
15:51It is possible for Alexis to pay off her debt.
15:54She has to start with the account, credit card, loan that has the smallest balance.
15:59Pay that off, and then she can get motivated to do the next one, and then the next, and then the next.
16:05And then before you know it, you're out of debt.
16:07How much of the loans were due to the car?
16:11At least $5,000.
16:12Okay.
16:13At least that minimum.
16:14You sure?
16:15Okay.
16:16It was actually closer to $10,000.
16:17Okay.
16:18That sounds about right.
16:19Yeah.
16:20At this point, it's a sunk cost.
16:21So all of the money that you're throwing into it is just gone, right?
16:24Right.
16:25You don't continue to throw good money after bad money.
16:28So I'm thinking maybe just get it to a point where you can sell it and put the proceeds to what she owes, right?
16:34The sunk cost fallacy is when someone refuses to give up on something that they've invested in heavily,
16:40whether it's time or money, even when it's clear that they should abandon it.
16:44Alexis' car is a sunk cost.
16:46You can even call it a money pit.
16:48As soon as I graduated, I lived with my mother, my parents, for a year in built-up savings.
16:53Is that something you would consider?
16:55I don't want to personally.
16:58Why is that?
16:59Because I like my freedom.
17:00I didn't want to either.
17:01Yeah.
17:02Okay.
17:03I was fresh out of college, outside like you said, but I made that sacrifice so that I could buy the house.
17:08Alexis' monthly expenses aren't that high.
17:10I noticed that Alexis is paying about $1,200 in rent and utilities each month.
17:15I think moving in with her parents and putting that money towards her credit cards and other loans is a much better option.
17:21I feel like I have to be at rock bottom for me to go back.
17:24I really do.
17:25Why would you wait until you're at rock bottom?
17:2880K isn't rock bottom?
17:31Rock bottom is just not being able to like literally like sustain.
17:34Like I have to be in desperate situations for me to be at rock bottom.
17:39I don't want to go home because of mom.
17:41Because our relationship was never like really like the way me and my dads were.
17:46I don't want to hear that, oh, all these questions.
17:50Why you need this?
17:51What you need this for?
17:52How much for this?
17:54Because she will do that.
17:55She'll be like, okay, you want this?
17:58Okay, what are you going to do with it?
17:59And the questions come in tenfold.
18:01I'm like, I don't want to go through this.
18:06I want the easy way out.
18:09If I have to go back, if I have to live with them, I know she can help me.
18:15It's just that realistically, I would not want to.
18:18Do you think there's any improvements you can make?
18:21Maybe setting boundaries or?
18:24I don't have to think it through.
18:26My plan for Alexis is to reduce debt using the snowball method.
18:30Reduce unnecessary expenses that aren't doing her any favors, like that car.
18:35And Ms. Diana needs to protect herself from Alexis when she comes back around asking her for money.
18:40Next, I would like for you to really look at the budget and work on your budget moving forward.
18:46Where you can cut, where you can reduce expenses.
18:49Yeah, sure, I can do that, yeah.
18:51I think you're going to get her on track, Leah.
18:53You're a godsend, you're a little angel.
18:55You work your butt off just to pay for one freaking car.
19:00That's not even drivable.
19:01It's like you wasted your life.
19:03Do you want to continue wasting it?
19:04What you doing?
19:17I'm at this truck stop.
19:18Oh, okay.
19:19How are things going on with you?
19:20Yeah, I'm just chilling right now.
19:22That food look good, them cheese and crackers.
19:24That's all you want, hun, cheese and crackers.
19:26You didn't eat today, didn't you?
19:29My relationship with my dad is very close.
19:33We'll hang out, or we just talk on the phone almost daily.
19:37So, there's something I want to tell you.
19:40Remember how I met up with the financial advisor for the second time?
19:44Well, my debt, I went from $40,000 to what I originally thought I had, and it was actually, in realization, $80,000.
19:53$80,000?
19:55Yeah, trust me, it shocked me too.
19:58And a lot of it was because of neglect.
20:00I didn't care to pay those bills.
20:02Three or four of them were in collection only because I didn't pay them at all.
20:06You're supposed to learn from me.
20:08Don't be like me.
20:09Well, I can't help it.
20:10When I'm part of your DNA, shoot, I try.
20:14Why you didn't tell me this?
20:16Usually, me and you talk about everything.
20:18Mainly because I'm for real embarrassed for real.
20:25Like, I'm trying to handle everything as an adult and try to do everything on my own and just making sure that I don't burden you guys.
20:33Here's what you got to remember, and I know as close as me and you are, you never know what I might have laying around or what your mom might have laying around because you're always my baby.
20:47I'm always, you already know, I'm always going to try to do what I can to take care of you if I need to.
20:53Why you didn't want to come home?
20:55Because I didn't want to hear mom's mouth.
20:57You know, that she gets the gossiping and being negative and stuff.
21:01I can't freely go into the kitchen without hearing, what you doing in the kitchen?
21:06What you making? Blah, blah, blah, blah.
21:07I'm like, dang, I'm just trying to make a sandwich.
21:09You know, you know, we know when she joking, but a lot of times she ain't joking.
21:14We know that.
21:15She for real, you know?
21:16But now the situation that I'm hearing about your dad, it's like, if worst case scenario, if that's what you got to do to save money to go and move forward in your life so you can be okay.
21:32Living at home with my parents is hard for me because I am a grown woman.
21:37I like to just have really my own space.
21:40I know I need help, but I don't know if I want to sacrifice my peace to pay down my debt faster.
21:47I'll talk to you more when I get home.
21:49All right, that's fine.
21:50All right, I love you.
21:51Love you too.
21:53Bye.
21:54Hey, how are you?
21:55I'm good.
21:56Welcome back.
21:57After meeting with Alexis, it's clear that her car is a huge drain on her financially, but emotionally, she's stuck with it.
22:16So I'm meeting her at her mom's house where she's storing the car because I have a little challenge that may help her come to terms with the reality of the situation.
22:24Well, I'm sure y'all are wondering why we're here.
22:27Yeah.
22:28Well, I have a little game that I want to play with you.
22:31It's called Worth It or Worthless.
22:34The mold represents your car.
22:37We have glasses of water that will represent the money that you have poured into the car to get it back into working order.
22:45And your hands represent the time and effort that you have put getting this car back into working order.
22:52Okay.
22:53And what you need to do is, as I'm pouring the water, your goal is to keep the car together.
22:58Okay.
22:59Okay?
23:00Okay.
23:01This is already speaking to my heart.
23:02This is deep.
23:03One, two, three, let's go.
23:04Okay, wait a second.
23:06Your car isn't even running.
23:08And here are all the future repair calls.
23:10Mm, mm, mm, mm.
23:12This little game is my way of showing Alexis that holding on to this car is a losing battle.
23:17It's a money pick.
23:18Girl, how you let that husband go, let this car go.
23:21Hell damage.
23:22Collision damage.
23:24Come on, Miss Diana.
23:26I know you helped her pay for some of this as well.
23:29Ooh, wait a second.
23:31The tornado came.
23:32Ooh, you destroyed my car.
23:34Wait a second.
23:35You smooshing it.
23:36You making it worse.
23:38You smooshed the front.
23:39I start out pushing it together.
23:42Wait a second.
23:43Oh, my gosh.
23:45I wasn't trying to mess up my nails.
23:48Plus, I felt like I wanted to destroy it faster so she could see reality.
23:53But this is not a game.
23:54Let's get rid of this thing.
23:56That's underneath the bridge.
23:57You can't even drive it.
23:58Exactly.
23:59It was just a lost cost.
24:00It's just done, right.
24:01It was just a lost cost.
24:02So we did do a little shopping around at various dealerships to see what we could get
24:07for the vehicle, and we were quoted $955.
24:10Wow.
24:11That's not good at all.
24:12At least you have something that you can pay towards the balance that you have, the principle
24:17that you do have, and you're not continuing to just spend good money that will never be
24:21fixed into a pile of dirt, basically.
24:22That's not even trading money.
24:23I mean, I wouldn't even look back.
24:24I'd be like, bye.
24:25Well, on that note, I brought a tow truck in today.
24:29Mm-hmm.
24:30If you are ready to get rid of it, is that something you are willing to do?
24:36She can't drive it.
24:37Is it worth it or worthless?
24:38Which one?
24:39This one.
24:45It's not the materialistic part that's killing me.
24:47Mm-hmm.
24:48Because I could care less about materialistic things.
24:50It's the fact that you work your butt off to work this job, work that job, work that,
24:56just to pay for one freaking note.
24:59That's the story of a lot of people.
25:00One freaking repair cost.
25:02So?
25:03That's not even drivable anymore.
25:05It's like you wasted your time.
25:07Like, you wasted your life.
25:08Like, you wasted.
25:09So do you want to continue wasting it?
25:13No.
25:14All right, then.
25:15So what do you want to do?
25:16Let go of it.
25:17Just take it.
25:18All right.
25:19She faced a giant.
25:22I know that it's not a lot, but she's better off putting that $950 towards the $16,000 that she still owes on the car, rather than keeping it and sinking more money into the repairs that may never get the car to run.
25:35Say bye-bye.
25:36It has to go.
25:37This is a good thing.
25:38It's a blessing, not a curse.
25:39It's going to be new beginnings.
25:40This goes to new beginnings.
25:41Mm-hmm.
25:42Need a hug?
25:43Yes.
25:44By the way, wait.
25:45Yeah.
25:46You know we're a little dirty.
25:47Shoulders.
25:48Okay.
25:49You're helping everyone else.
26:02You don't have retirement.
26:03You're 62.
26:04This can't keep happening.
26:06I'm not living under the bridge for nobody.
26:19Hi.
26:20Hi, Leah.
26:21Good to stay in the morning.
26:22How are you?
26:23Oh, dear.
26:24I'm glad you could come meet me.
26:26Absolutely.
26:27So how are you feeling after today?
26:31That was kind of enlightening.
26:33I don't know.
26:34I was just kind of surprised there was so much emotion tied up with that car.
26:37Right.
26:38I gave her mine to drive, and she's always welcome to, you know, she can keep as long as she can, till she can get off her feet, but not eternally, but you know.
26:45Now that Alexis has agreed to sell her money pit of a car, I need to talk to Ms. Diana about people who are draining her bank account and her retirement savings.
26:53That looks good.
26:54That looks great.
26:55That looks really good.
26:56You're welcome to share.
26:57Oh, thank you.
26:58Wow, that salad looks amazing.
26:59Actually, can I have a piece, please?
27:00Yes.
27:01I can't eat that.
27:02I'm not telling her, but I have a little experiment that I want to try out on Ms. Diana, just to show her a trend that I've noticed in her behavior and how it's impacting her negatively.
27:11Do you help any of your other kids out as well?
27:13Yes, but not like Alexis.
27:16What are your finances looking like?
27:17Are you...
27:18My finances is not where I can be able to really help them.
27:20I take for myself.
27:22I can't afford to be retired.
27:24My situation is like some of the older people that I worked with.
27:30Before, it's like we worked for our kids.
27:33Do you have any retirement savings?
27:35At this point, they really don't know.
27:37I don't.
27:38Can you get another slice?
27:39Girl, this is both of ours.
27:41Ms. Diana just casually mentioned that she helps her kids out financially, loans Alexis her car, works for her kids.
27:49Meanwhile, her own retirement accounts are suffering.
27:52I have to get her to really look at this and stop the financial bleed.
27:56What are you going to do for yourself though?
27:58I understand that you help your kids, you help your husband, but I'm a little bit helping you.
28:04Trust me.
28:05How old are you?
28:06I'm 62.
28:07When do you retire?
28:08I don't perceive being able to retire anytime soon.
28:10So when your kids are asking you for money, are you able to tell them no?
28:13Do you ever tell them no and feel comfortable doing that?
28:15Oh, yeah.
28:16When my basic needs are messed and I know I can meet them, then I don't have a problem.
28:20I'll get a second job, do whatever I had to do when they were younger because I'm not going to embarrass myself.
28:25But they've seen instabilities too.
28:26But so why can't they do that?
28:28And that's probably because I don't want them to do the things I did because I know how hard and depressing.
28:35But they're young.
28:36You're 62.
28:37I reclaimed my social security.
28:38They're young.
28:39They're able-bodied.
28:40They can get two or three jobs.
28:41You can't.
28:42They have the rest of their lives to pay off their debt to get their stuff together.
28:45You don't have that many more years.
28:46No, I don't.
28:47And I've had help.
28:48Where you can do that.
28:49So you need to put your oxygen mask on first.
28:51That's true.
28:52Before you help your kids.
28:53And you're right.
28:54And then they know like...
28:55My pizza tastes a little weird.
28:56Can I have a slice of yours?
28:57Can I taste yours?
28:58Aw, Miss Diana.
29:00She's not going to get the point here.
29:01I'm going to have to spell it out.
29:03Speaking of pizza...
29:05No, you can't.
29:07Exactly.
29:08You let me take all of your pizza.
29:10You had this whole thing.
29:12I took slice after slice.
29:13I took from your plate.
29:15And you finally told me I can't have any more.
29:18This is exactly what you do with Alexis.
29:20Mm-hmm.
29:21And that's why...
29:22And Alexis don't see that.
29:23Mm-hmm.
29:25I don't think so.
29:26Because sometimes she's feeling like...
29:27Well, you make a lot of excuses for her too.
29:29I just...
29:30She can drive your car as long as she wants.
29:32She can live with you as long as she wants.
29:33You have to put boundaries in place.
29:35Right.
29:36So for example, when I lived with my parents,
29:38they let me stay there for a year.
29:39Mm-hmm.
29:40After that, rent free.
29:41Mm-hmm.
29:42And then after that, I had to pay rent.
29:43It was a reduced amount.
29:44It's not what I would have been paying
29:45if I had been on my own.
29:46But I still had to have some accountability
29:48while building my nest egg.
29:49Mm-hmm.
29:50So doing little things like that will help her...
29:52help herself, if that makes sense.
29:54And some of that money that's being given to you for rent,
29:57you can put maybe towards your retirement
29:59or towards, you know, some of your expenses
30:01and your savings to help you build that safety nest for yourself.
30:04This can't keep happening.
30:06You don't have retirement.
30:07You're 62.
30:08As you mentioned earlier, she's watching you.
30:10She's gonna repeat the same thing you're doing.
30:11Mm-hmm.
30:12And would you be okay with her being in the position
30:14that you're in now when she's 62?
30:16No.
30:17Is that what you want for Alexis?
30:18And I told her the same thing.
30:19Look at my plate and look at yours.
30:21I see what Leah's saying.
30:23If I don't stop offering up what's mine
30:26or allowing my kids to keep taking it,
30:28I won't have anything left.
30:30I'm not living under the bridge for nobody.
30:32I can't build back up like I used to.
30:34I don't have the energy.
30:35Yeah, you don't have the energy.
30:37Honestly, you don't have the time.
30:38I don't have the time.
30:39And Alexis has the time.
30:40Time.
30:41Okay.
30:42So you have to remember that.
30:43So what boundaries can you put in place to help Alexis?
30:46I want you to focus on yourself.
30:48You did a great job raising your children.
30:50Mm-hmm.
30:51You've given them the tools that they need.
30:52Let them figure it out.
30:53They will figure it out.
30:54I really hope that Miss Diana is taking this information in.
30:58Now, I know this is gonna be hard for her
30:59because she's a generous person,
31:01but she has to start somewhere and protect her own future,
31:04not just her children's future.
31:06Let me order you another pizza.
31:07I'm good.
31:08I'm good.
31:13Since the accident, I put $10,000 into the...
31:16Wait a minute.
31:17You said $10,000?
31:19I don't feel too good about that.
31:20I don't feel too good about that.
31:26I don't feel too good about that.
31:28It's a great job.
31:29I don't feel too bad.
31:30I need it.
31:31I don't feel too bad about that.
31:32Sitting loving me and I love it bad.
31:34Black and white teeth on a train track.
31:36Walking these beasts and I'm feeling that.
31:39Rice is done.
31:41Y'all need to hurry up.
31:42Man!
31:44How much longer?
31:46Is he able to play with his puppet?
31:47Oh, Lord.
31:48Since I was a baby, my dad has been involved in puppet ministry.
31:52Really smells good.
31:54He gets invited to go to different churches
31:56and during children's story, he performs skits
32:01and he does it based off of virtues.
32:03I think it makes him communicate a little bit better
32:06if he hides behind his puppet a little bit.
32:08I'm getting hungry.
32:10Only thing on your mind is probably a popsicle anyway.
32:14Hey, Diane.
32:16We got a popsicle.
32:18Alexis is so much like her dad, everybody call them twins.
32:21Hurry up.
32:23You better stop talking.
32:25Yeah, we're like twins.
32:27Alexis, they feed off each other.
32:29When one get to laughing, the other one get to laughing,
32:31the other one get to laughing.
32:32And I'm like, you know, and it's annoying to me,
32:33but I'm just saying.
32:34You can see how quickly I get irritated.
32:38It's like, stop already, you know?
32:40Y'all did a good job.
32:42Yes!
32:44Fuck, you're nuts.
32:46For me, it's gonna still be some accountability.
32:48I'm about adulting, being mature, opening your eyes
32:52and facing your demons.
32:54And take accountability.
32:56Okay, say a prayer first.
32:58All right.
32:59Dan and Father, thank you for this day.
33:01Thank you for fellowship and family.
33:03Thank you for this food.
33:05Help the nurse abide in Jesus' name and pray, man.
33:07Amen.
33:08Kept it short and simple.
33:10Short and simple.
33:11Tell you that about your car.
33:13Leah, have us play a game.
33:15So the moral of the game is like,
33:18is it worth it to keep on putting all this effort
33:20and time and money into this vehicle?
33:22Yeah, yeah.
33:23It's like, what's the point?
33:24The financial advisor did an estimation.
33:26It was $900,000.
33:27She said, $950 is how much I would get if I sold it today.
33:30So it was like, you know, what do you want to do?
33:32Right.
33:33Leah said, what do you want to do?
33:34You want to let it go?
33:35You want to keep on to something that's not worth it?
33:37I have, since the accident, I put $10,000
33:41plus another $1,500.
33:43Wait a minute.
33:44I spent $10,000.
33:47That's how much money I was putting towards the car.
33:49I mean, I had no idea you were spending $10,000.
33:53I don't feel too good about that.
33:55Sound familiar, huh?
33:58Man.
33:59Alexis, her dad, he makes a lot of money,
34:02runs up debt really fast.
34:04He either avoids it or ignores it.
34:07And Alexis does the same thing.
34:09I understand because I'm kind of dealing with,
34:14remember I was taking my truck?
34:15Mm-hmm.
34:16It's rough.
34:17I'm kind of going through that with what I got.
34:19Right.
34:20So yeah, you know how I feel for real.
34:21You know how I feel for real.
34:22It's like even the choices they make, the decisions,
34:27the lights, everything.
34:28Right.
34:29So then the tow truck came and...
34:31And took your car.
34:33So how you really feel about this?
34:37I'm sad because I had to let it go.
34:39But at the same time, I'm sick of this.
34:41I'm sick of living this life of struggle.
34:43I'm sick of living this life of where I have to like sit here
34:47and I can't enjoy, I can't travel where I want to
34:50because I got to pay this bill, pay this law, pay this.
34:53And it's like I feel like where is the money for my savings?
34:55Where is the money for me?
34:57The main thing is getting back on your feet.
35:01And if it takes for you to have to come back a little while,
35:04everybody say you got to stay forever, you know what I mean?
35:07But if you got to come back a little bit just to regroup.
35:11Just so you pay your debts up.
35:13Like it will put some money in your pocket.
35:15Yeah.
35:16And that's what you got to do.
35:18We'll work out some boundaries and some things, right?
35:21Some budget or something like that.
35:22What you mean a payment?
35:23Just give us a little something, something.
35:25And then be a little bit more transparent about your debt.
35:27If you got an issue, say so.
35:29If I open up the door and give you the red carpet and say,
35:32hey, come on in.
35:33Let me let you keep every dollar.
35:35At least take accountability.
35:37This time it has to be healthy boundaries.
35:40If you want to move back home, I need you to be transparent with your debt.
35:44Mm-hmm.
35:45Since meeting the advisor, I've literally like, I cut out everything.
35:50Like, I'm not going out to this event.
35:52I'm not doing this.
35:53If it's not within budget, nope, it's not happening.
35:55Well, you can just save money, hang out with me.
35:57Why you look like that?
35:58You're like hanging with me.
35:59Hang out with you.
36:00It means a lot that my parents want to help.
36:03But it is a hard pill to swallow.
36:05I've worked so hard to build my independence.
36:08And moving back home feels like taking a step back,
36:10even if it might help me move forward financially.
36:13Once you do your budgets, we sit down and we can really make this,
36:16put this thing in action.
36:24So have you made a decision yet as far as moving in with your parents?
36:27Money in the bag, money in the bag.
36:28You never run out too much gas in the tank.
36:30No, it'll make you feel good, don't it?
36:31Hi, Leah.
36:32How are you?
36:33Thanks.
36:34How are you again?
36:35It's been a couple of weeks since I met with Alexis and Ms. Diana,
36:38and I'm curious to know if Alexis has been putting my Money Moves workbook to use.
36:44And then Ms. Diana, how are you?
36:46How are you again?
36:47It's been a couple of weeks since I met with Alexis and Ms. Diana,
36:51and I'm curious to know if Alexis has been putting my Money Moves workbook to use?
36:56And then Ms. Diana has set some boundaries with her daughter.
36:59So how have things been since we last met?
37:01Are you making any progress with your goals?
37:03Yes, I am.
37:04And then meeting you was, like, a big, like, shock,
37:06but it was also, like, a learning experience.
37:09I actually was very, very appreciative during the whole journey.
37:12I knew I always needed help with my finances,
37:15because what I've always wanted was someone to give me the tools,
37:18someone to break things down for me.
37:20I'm just excited she will give up the cards.
37:22Yes, I am too.
37:23Hallelujah.
37:24You did a great job with that.
37:26You received the information.
37:27That was harder than you think.
37:28I know.
37:29I know it was.
37:30I could see it.
37:31But you received the information, and you made the decision
37:33that I was hoping that you would make.
37:3580% of personal finance is behavior, and you have that.
37:38Like, you've shown that you can have that discipline,
37:40you can have that good behavior and change your mindset.
37:43That's the majority of the battle.
37:45Yeah.
37:46I'm very proud of you.
37:48One of the things we talked about was possibly increasing your income.
37:52I did get basically an opportunity for a potential interview for working in the government,
37:58but it's going to be paying me three times as much I was making currently.
38:03So now I'm waiting for that interview.
38:05And I already know me.
38:06Once I get to that interview phase, you might as well hire me.
38:09I'm good at talking about myself.
38:12So I'll be good for my budget.
38:14Congratulations.
38:15And if you need any help with interviewing, I can help you with mock interviews.
38:18Okay, yeah.
38:19You can help me.
38:20For sure.
38:21Yeah, absolutely.
38:22Salary negotiation.
38:23Yeah, we can talk about all of that.
38:24Yeah, they've got skills.
38:25Help assistance.
38:26Congrats.
38:27That's great.
38:28So how's your relationship as far as secrecy?
38:30Are you more open, transparent with your parents?
38:33Or how is that going?
38:34Yeah, I'm definitely more open, for sure.
38:36Especially when I make the decision of, like, you know, moving in.
38:39That has to happen.
38:40I've got to be open and transparent.
38:41So have you made a decision yet about that?
38:44Or are you still thinking about it as far as moving in with your parents?
38:47I'm more so on the yes side of moving in.
38:49I can't say a thousand percent.
38:51I'm more so leaning towards it.
38:53And then she also mentioned, like, some numbers.
38:56If you move in, this is the guideline.
38:58This is the boundary.
38:59Tell me more about that.
39:00What's the contract?
39:01You don't, like, don't have nobody over here.
39:03Like, no men, of course.
39:05And then she mentioned, like, OK, six months to a year.
39:09OK.
39:10And I was explaining to her dad about your experiment.
39:12The pizza experiment?
39:13The pizza experiment.
39:14Yeah, she explained to her.
39:15I didn't know nothing about it.
39:16I said, oh, Leah and her experiment.
39:17The whole pizza.
39:18Oh, my gosh.
39:19Leah related it to our relationship.
39:22You know, it's like, you're giving, giving, giving, but I'm taking away from my retirement year.
39:27And so I decided, yeah, you know, I need to wear my life jacket instead of helping you wear yours.
39:33You can get.
39:34Mm-hmm.
39:35You're young and attractive.
39:36You can get somebody else's jacket.
39:39Well.
39:40You can bet I know.
39:41I feel like Alexis and Ms. Diana really heard what I said and took it to heart.
39:47There are a lot of wins here.
39:49First, she's trying to increase her income.
39:52Second, she finally got rid of that money pit car.
39:55Third, I'm really proud of Ms. Diana as well for sticking up for herself and putting boundaries in place so that Alexis can't run all over her.
40:01She's putting up boundaries everywhere, and I love it.
40:04Y'all were amazing.
40:05You were great.
40:06Like I said, both of you all, actually, you took my advice.
40:09You really thought about it, processed it, and then you implemented.
40:12You executed immediately.
40:14Yes.
40:15If you want to change your life, you start today.
40:17You don't start.
40:18You don't start.
40:19She preached.
40:20We're in church.
40:21Yeah.
40:22That's how I feel.
40:23You start today.
40:24Like, you don't, you want to make it.
40:25Amen.
40:26Yes.
40:27Yes.
40:28Meeting Leah was a godsend, because I think there are
40:31that she just has something that is unique.
40:34Not only does she talk to you about your money, she touched your soul.
40:38Good luck on your interview.
40:39I'll be checking in.
40:41This lady right here, like what my mom says, godsend.
40:44And she changed my life.
40:47To our financial freedoms.
40:49Y'all take care.
41:01Next time on Maxed Out.
41:04Yolanda nominated her older sister.
41:07They are co-owners of the bakery.
41:09What was your income last year?
41:10Not enough.
41:11Not enough.
41:13Total debt.
41:14Compared to your take home pay.
41:16Their business is failing.
41:17We can't jump at everything that everybody is saying to do.
41:20But they've turned down every suggestion.
41:22I'm not here to force anyone to do anything.
41:25Yes, you have dreams.
41:26But right now, that's going to bankrupt you.
41:28Hmm.
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