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00:00I was born with heavy breasts and lush curves.
00:03My sister, Helena, was afraid her husband, Damon, would lose his mind over me.
00:07So she arranged for me to be wed to an impotent man.
00:10She patted my shoulder.
00:13A man who can't perform there is probably exceptional everywhere else.
00:17Three months later, I was begging for mercy every single night.
00:21I desperately wanted to ask Helena what she meant by can't get hard.
00:26Funny, he seemed good at everything.
00:28Alexander, Arathon's undefeated commander and the king's most trusted warlord,
00:33was carried back from the northern border on a littered slip through his blood.
00:37The spear had gone behind.
00:39By the time the army reached the city gates, he had lost consciousness twice.
00:43If a dying man was bound to a living, healthy woman, her vitality could tether him back to life.
00:48His mother, Lady Corinna, had already buried her husband.
00:52Now she stood at the edge of burying her son.
00:54Helena presented me to Lady Corinna before I could find words to object.
00:59I had no real choice, or I would starve.
01:01If I refused, she would have me sent to work in the outer estates, the salt flats,
01:06the ones that broke people in a season.
01:08I knew she had never forgiven me for my history with Damon.
01:11Please, I swear Damon and I are just friends.
01:16What good is a vow? Do you have any idea how distracting your big boobs are?
01:22I wanted to tell her to bind my chest. I'd wrapped myself layer after layer in the sweltering heat,
01:28until I broke out in a rash.
01:30Walking through this house with that body, which man here wouldn't lose himself the moment he looked at you?
01:37It's not that I don't trust you. It's that I don't trust men.
01:41Do you know who he is? The Aries. If my mother and Corinna weren't old friends,
01:47you wouldn't even be considered for this.
01:49Helena, I don't want to be anyone's deathbed offering. Please, don't make me-
01:57Iris, are you loose your mind? You should be grateful.
02:01The door opened. A household servant stepped in, breathless.
02:05My Lady Helena. Word from the Vos Estate. Alexander has woken up.
02:10Helena dragged me to the Vos Estate. I followed her through the entrance hall to a heavy door.
02:14Through the gap, I caught the shape of a man on a low bed. Thin, still. His chest moves with
02:20the
02:20shallow, effortful rhythm. Lady Corinna stood near the window, eyes red. She took Helena's hands.
02:26Helena, thank you for everything you've done for my son. He's pulled through. There's no need to
02:32bind a girl to a dying man. I won't destroy someone's future over it. Helena's eyes moved.
02:36Calculated. Quick. Lady Corinna, the marriage should still go forward.
02:40Iris arrived the same morning Alexander woke. That's the God's doing, not coincidence.
02:45Complete the rite properly. Her vitality will keep drawing him back towards health.
02:50Corinna hesitated. She looked at me. The household physician stepped out from the room, his face tight.
02:56Lord Alexander has regained consciousness, but the spear struck deep into his inner thigh,
03:01and the damage to the surrounding tissue. I'm afraid he will no longer be able to perform as
03:05a husband. He can't. Helena looked more stricken than Corinna. He will not be able to get hard.
03:10Possibly ever. Corinna's knees gave. I caught her before she hit the floor. She looked up at me with
03:16hollowed eyes. Knowing this, do you still want this? Of course she does. She's no one. She should be
03:22grateful for the name. I didn't speak right away. My mother had been a physician's assistant. A skilled
03:27one. My father had courted her without mentioning he already had a wife. She found out when she was
03:32already carrying me. She died the night I was born. He brought me into the household anyway.
03:37Gave me a roof, a name, a place that was never quite mine. When he died, that ended. Helena's mother
03:43had never wanted me there. Without my father, I had no ground. I learned healing technique from my
03:49mother's old notes. The only thing left of her. The one skill that kept me from being put out.
03:53There had been a young scholar in the narrow streets behind our estate. Damon. Poor. Hungry.
03:59Grinding toward the city examinations on nothing. I had passed food through the fence for two years.
04:05I thought he would remember. I went to him the night before everything fell apart. He didn't open the
04:10gate. Iris. I'm betrothed now. It wouldn't be proper. A small coin purse dropped over the wall
04:15into the dirt. Consider the debt repaid. I picked it up and walked away. That scholar became Helena's
04:21husband. I acted as though I had never known him. Helena found out anyway. My lady. I'm willing.
04:29I'll complete the right, care for Alexander, and serve your household as long as you need me.
04:33Corinna kept her word. She had a proper wedding garment prepared. She treated the ceremony with
04:38full dignity. Helena chose a day when Damon was away on city business to walk me out.
04:43She pressed my papers into my hands, guilt on her face. Even though Alexander can't perform,
04:48at least you're spared the pain of bearing children. Don't worry. A man who can't perform
04:54there is probably exceptional everywhere else. None of it had crossed my mind, honestly. I told
04:59myself I was simply moving to a new household. Alexander was too weak to stand through the full
05:04wedding rite. I completed the ceremony beside his sword. The one hanging on the wall of the great room.
05:10Iron and plain. The kind of weapon that had actually been used. Lady Corinna watched from the front.
05:16Eyes wet the whole time. When it was done, I was Alexander's wife. His chamber was quiet when I
05:22pushed the door open. He was already inside. Half sitting against the headboard. A plain linen robe
05:28open at the throat. He turned when he heard me. Up close, he was strikingly handsome. Strong jaw. Dark eyes
05:34that looked at things directly without apology. A face that had been outdoors for years and carried
05:40it well. I never intended to have a wife. He said, low and even. If it doesn't trouble you,
05:46we can keep this arrangement simple. In name only. Tonight the bed is yours. He pointed to the couch
05:52against the far wall. Tomorrow you move to the guest quarters. He had thought through all of it. It
05:57wasn't what I'd expected. Alright. Before the ceremony, one of Corinna's older servants had pressed
06:02something into my hands. A small scroll. There are other ways between a husband and wife.
06:07You might find this useful someday. I hadn't understood her until I unrolled it. Heat moved
06:14through me just from the first illustration. Alexander was watching me from bed. Is it too warm here?
06:20Eyes steady. Direct. The wedding garments are heavy. I'm a little warm. Wash up and rest then.
06:26He pulled the blanket over himself and within minutes his breathing had evened out. I set the scroll on
06:32the side table. I unpinned my hair. Then I changed. Layered robes off piece by piece. Until I was
06:38standing in nothing but my sleeping shift. I turned to the polished bronze mirror on the wall. The shift
06:44was not thick enough. Heavy breasts straining against the linen. Waist narrow. Hips full. Years of trying to
06:51make myself smaller. In a thin shift at midnight there was nothing left to hide behind. I stepped toward
06:56the lamp to turn it down and walked straight into his gaze. He wasn't asleep. His chest
07:02rose hard. The tips of his ears had gone red. His throat worked as he swallowed. I grabbed my outer
07:08robe. Alexander. I thought you were asleep. A long pause. I could sleep later. Low. Controlled.
07:14Like he was holding something back by force. My breath caught. He rose to his feet slowly. Tall.
07:20His shadow fell over me.
07:34Every image from that scroll flooded back. My breathing shifted without me meaning it to. Somehow
07:39falling into the same rhythm as his. Then Alexander turned and walked to the door. The moment night air
07:45rushed in from the courtyard I came back to myself. He was already gone. I stood there in the lamplight.
07:51When he looked at me just now. The shock in his eyes. Had I actually rattled the most feared warlord
07:57in Aerathon? I decided that tomorrow morning I was going to wear three layers of linen and a belt.
08:02He came back sometime in the night. His hair was damp at the ends. When I woke in the morning
08:07he was already gone. The room was empty and orderly. His attendant Theo came in to check on me.
08:16Alexander. The night is cold. Why didn't you call for someone to heat water?
08:22I'll have Nikos make you something for that. A cold bath in your condition. I don't know what you were
08:27thinking. I looked at Theo. Does he usually take cold baths? Theo shrugged with the expression of
08:35someone who had seen many things and commented on none of them. I was fine. And closed the door. Then
08:41I added a third layer of linen. Every woman in the upper city was fine boned and carefully composed.
08:47That was what was considered beautiful in Aerathon's court circles. My body was different. Full, warm,
08:53soft in ways that drew the wrong kind of attention. Alexander not wanting to look at me was entirely
08:59predictable. I went to greet Corinna that morning. Alexander was already seated beside her.
09:04She smiled like the sun had come out the moment she saw me. Her face only changed when Alexander coughed.
09:11Alexander, give us a moment. I need to speak with Iris alone. He left without argument.
09:16Corinna waved to me to sit beside her. She took my hand and looked at me with eyes that were
09:20still a
09:21little wet. Iris, my sweet girl. My son waking up is more than I dared ask for. But I can't
09:29let that gift
09:29become your cage. Her smile faded at the edges. Nico says the damage may be permanent. No one knows how
09:36much time he has. Some in the household have suggested I name a cousin's son as heir. But that
09:42would trap here for nothing. You came to give him strength and I am already grateful for it. I can't
09:47ask
09:47you to give him the rest of your life, too. I've already thought it through. If the worst comes, I'll
09:52have
09:52him release you from the marriage. You'll be free. I'll give you property and enough silver to live on
09:59your own terms. I reached over and dried the corner of her eye. Something ached in my chest, quiet and
10:04unannounced. I had come here telling myself this was just a new household. I hadn't expected her to be
10:10thinking of my future before her own. It made me think of my mother. If she had lived. If someone
10:15had
10:15done this for her, Corinna laughed through her tears. Look at me making you cry. Iris, call me
10:21mother if you like. You might as well. Her voice softened. Helena mentioned, you know, healing
10:26technique. Alexander's daily care. The food, the remedies. Could you take that on? I just want him
10:35here a little longer. That's my one small selfishness. Her voice roughened at the end. I
10:41nodded. I went to find Nikos and asked what he needed. The last time I had done serious healing
10:47work was years ago, back when Damon was still just a hungry student living in two rented rooms behind
10:53our estate wall. He had collapsed at our back gate one afternoon from not eating for two days. I was
10:59the
10:59one who found him. I made him soup. I went through my mother's notes and put together a proper recovery
11:05regimen. Herbs, timing, what to avoid. He got strong. He passed his examinations. He told Helena.
11:13She used it to push me out. He helped her do it. I carried the tray down the long corridor
11:19to Alexander's
11:20room. He was at his desk giving instructions to a young aide about supply routes along the northern road.
11:28I'll eat later. He said without looking up. You should eat now. The compounds in the broth lose their
11:34effect if the stomach is empty. He looked at the tray, then at me. Going forward, have Theo bring
11:40these. He knows the schedule. I can bring them. It isn't necessary. It makes no difference. It does.
11:46Have Theo's do it. He finished the broth and a few efficient swallows, said something to the aide,
11:52and walked past me without pausing. That settled it. Alexander of House Vos did not want me in his space.
11:58I followed his instruction. After that, Theo delivered every meal to the study. A week later,
12:04at morning check with Corinna, she was glowing. Nikos came for his routine visit. He says Alexander's
12:10color is better than he's seen since the injury. Iris, that's your doing. Back in my room, I added it
12:17to
12:17the small chest I kept by the window. Bracelets, an amber pin, a pair of earrings. Everything Corinna had
12:23given me since I arrived. You never wear any of it. I will eventually. If I ever leave, it all
12:33converts to something useful. Leave? You'd sell what Lady Caritta gave you? Not while I'm here.
12:39But if the marriage is dissolved one day, yes. That's just practical.
12:49Lord Alexander. I turned. Alexander stood in the doorway.
12:56Corinna had said his color was better. He was still pale, his expression closed and unreadable.
13:03He looked at me with flat, measuring eyes. My pulse jumped. Alexander, did you need something?
13:11I left a field map in this room, looking for it. I'll help you find it. What does it look
13:17like?
13:19Theo had disappeared, quietly and completely, as though he had never been there.
13:24Rolled leather, brown cord.
13:28I started checking the shelves. He moved to the other side.
13:33Any idea where you left it?
13:36No.
13:37We searched in silence. I reached up toward the top shelf, and his hand arrived at exactly the same
13:44moment. His fingers covered mine for half a second. The skin under his touch went instantly warm.
13:51I tilted my head up to look at him from this close. He was genuinely handsome. Fair against dark brows,
13:59sharp cut features. Eyes that held something underneath the surface that I couldn't name. Like still deep water.
14:07My throat tightened. I turned back to the shelf. I went up on my toes to reach further, and lost
14:15my balance.
14:16He caught me instinctively. My chest was pressed tightly against him. I pulled back fast.
14:22Alexander's chest was rising and falling too hard. His face was red.
14:28Your map.
14:29I held it out.
14:30Keep it.
14:31He took it without looking at me and left. Right. Now he thought even less of me. After that,
14:36I avoided him deliberately. He was healing. He needed stillness. I was apparently not conducive to stillness.
14:41But a new problem arrived by messenger. Damon had been sending letters. Three in the past week. Brief,
14:47angled. The kind that said, meet me without saying it. I burned them in the lamp without responding.
14:54Today, Theo appeared at my door, voice low.
14:58Lady Iris. Someone is waiting at the side gate. He says he won't leave until you come out.
15:04I already knew. I walked out fast. Through the garden I noticed another shape following at a distance.
15:12Someone keeping pace along the far colonnade. But I didn't stop. I pushed open the side gate.
15:20Damon stood outside. He smiled the easy smile I used to believe in.
15:26Iris. You finally came.
15:29You can call me Lady Vos. Or nothing at all.
15:35I'm being considered for a senior position at the council.
15:41When that comes through, I won't need Helena's family connections anymore.
15:47Iris, come with me. Alexander is finished. Everyone in the city knows it.
15:52It's foot in the grave. One foot in the grave. What kind of future is that?
15:56He reached toward me. I stepped back.
15:59You want me as your kept woman? He nodded like it was a reasonable offer.
16:04I laughed. Actually laughed. Why would I leave a Vos marriage to be your secret?
16:10I have standing. I have a name. I have a household that has served this kingdom for three generations.
16:19Everyone in the upper city knows Alexander is done. Seems like a waste.
16:25Something cold moved through me. Damon.
16:28You had one thing from me. Loyalty. And you returned it with a coin purse over a wall.
16:34You want to push this? I have every letter you've sent me. I can have them in Helena's hands before
16:38sundown.
16:39How does your council appointment look after that? His face went white.
16:44I turned and walked back through the gate. I spun around inside and nearly walked into Alexander.
16:49He was standing two feet away in a plain dark cloak, still as a wall.
16:56Alexander. I...
16:59Alexander. I...
17:23I... I should go check on your afternoon remedy timing.
17:28I tried to step past him.
17:30Alexander. His hand caught my arm. Steady, not rough. I stumbled sideways and fell against his chest.
17:36Again. I looked up at him from very close. His eyes were dark and direct.
17:42The things you said to him. Low. Were they true?
17:47I couldn't tell him it had all been a bluff for Damon's benefit.
17:50So I looked up at him. Alexander's eyes stayed on my face.
17:54The distance between us was wrong. Too close. His breath steady and warm.
17:58His hand still around my arm. Iris.
18:02The remedy timing I... I should go check. He let go. I walked away without looking back.
18:11Around the corner I stopped, pressed my back against the stone wall. My heart was going completely haywire.
18:16That was the first time I had seen anything other than controlled distance in Alexander's face.
18:24That night I dreamed about him. His voice saying my name made the whole dream feels like standing close to
18:30a fire.
18:31I woke with my pulse pounding and the sheets twisted around me. I called for a basin of cold water.
18:37Theo brought it without comment and looked at my damp hair on the way out.
18:41I pressed a handful of cold water against my face. Then I thought about Alexander getting up in the middle
18:47of the night to take a cold bath.
18:51I pushed the thought out immediately. His thigh was still healing. This was completely absurd.
18:59At midday, Corinna's attendant found me in the herb garden.
19:02Lady Corinna is taking supper in the courtyard this evening. She'd like you both there.
19:06I had been finding excuses to avoid shared meals all week. Corinna had noticed. I couldn't keep saying no.
19:12I walked out to the inner courtyard as the evening light came through the carved stone screens.
19:17The long table had been set simply. The old laurel tree in the corner was in flower, white blooms catching
19:23the last of the sun.
19:24The spread on the table was everything I liked. I stood there looking at it.
19:28Alexander remembered. He asked the kitchen this morning.
19:34I looked across the table. Alexander looked at his cup.
19:42How did you know today was my birthday? I forgot it myself.
19:46My mother had died the night I was born. No one had ever made a point of the date.
19:51The marriage documents. Your birth date was listed.
19:56Something moved in my chest. Small and uninvited.
20:00Iris, I've been saving this. Good wine. From the hillside estate, the old press.
20:06Don't let either of you drink too much. Actually, the evening air troubles my joints.
20:13I'll leave you two to enjoy it.
20:16She was gone before I could say anything. The courtyard went quiet. Just the two of us and the sound
20:22of wind
20:22through the laurel. To cover the silence, I poured a cup and drank it faster than I should have. It
20:27was
20:28sweet. It was also considerably stronger than it tasted. I poured another, then another. The warmth spread
20:34through my chest and up behind my eyes and everything softened slightly at the edges. I reached toward
20:40the last small honey cake on the plate between us and found it empty.
20:47Where did the last one go? I ate it. I don't know where the nerve came from.
20:52I leaned toward him across the table. Who let you take the last one? Give it back.
20:57Alexander looked at me for a long moment. Then he opened his mouth. Come and find it yourself.
21:04I stared at him. Then at his mouth. Then back at his eyes. I leaned forward and kissed him. He
21:12went
21:12completely still. His breath stopped. Then something gave way. His hand came up to the back of my head and
21:18the kiss deepened. Slower. More certain. Like he had been waiting for exactly this and was not going to
21:24waste it. Footsteps on the stone path. We broke apart. It was Theo carrying cloaks. Lord Alexander.
21:35Lady Karina said the night is getting cold. She wanted me to... I'll just leave these here.
21:44My legs went unreliable. Everything went dark. I woke to morning light coming through the window at
21:51the wrong angle. When I woke up, the morning light shone through the window. I sat up fast.
21:57Karina. The temple visit. I had promised to go with her this morning.
22:02Don't rush. Theo appeared in the doorway. The carriage isn't ready yet.
22:10How did I get back here? Alexander carried you in. I looked at him.
22:16He nodded seriously. Did I... Did I say anything strange?
22:22You kept grabbing his sleeve and calling him my husband. Over and over. He went so red I thought
22:28he was going to need Nikos. Theo. If you tell anyone. If you tell anyone. He was already gone.
22:38I found Karina at the front gate.
22:44We took the carriage to the temple of the healing god. She went every week, she said, to give thanks.
22:51Karina glanced over. You're not thinking about what I think you're thinking about.
22:57I'm not thinking about anything. Iris.
23:02She was smiling at the window. I set that dinner up deliberately.
23:08I'm not even slightly sorry.
23:16Alexander and I aren't... I know, I know. I just want you two to actually speak to each other.
23:21Even if it stays simple. I'd rather you were at ease together than strangers under the same roof.
23:27I was about to answer her. The carriage lurched. The horses screamed.
23:32The brake!
23:33A sharp shout from the driver. We were moving and not stopping.
23:38The carriage swerved hard to the left and the road tilted under us and kept going.
23:43I looked ahead through the carriage window.
23:49Now! Hold on to me. We go on three.
23:54Iris, that wall is faster than we are. If we stay in the carriage, we die.
24:02And the moment I pulled us both out, we hit the slope hard.
24:09The carriage struck the wall ahead of us with a sound like the world was living.
24:14Karina, tell me where it hurts. Tell me everything.
24:18I'm... Iris, you're bleeding.
24:20The gravel had opened my shoulder and one side of my face. I didn't feel it yet.
24:25Where are you hurt? Specifically?
24:28Nothing serious. Iris, you held me the entire way down. You took all of it yourself.
24:35I helped her sit upright against the slope and looked back up the road. The driver had been
24:40thrown clear earlier. I could see him moving, alive. Theo's horse was already coming down the
24:44hill at speed. They'll be here in moments. Stay still. I heard my own voice from a distance,
24:50calm, even, while my whole body was screaming. Footsteps running, coming fast down the embankment,
24:56then a voice I was not expecting. Iris, don't move. I have you.
25:01Alexander came down the slope in three long strides, pale, jaw locked, eyes already scanning me for
25:08damage. He took my arm in both hands and turned it over. How much of this blood is yours?
25:15Surface wounds. I'm fine. Stop saying that. He pulled off his cloak and pressed it hard against
25:22my shoulder. You are not fine. He looked at his mother. She raised her hand. I'm all right and
25:29pointed back at me. He turned back. He tied the cloak around my shoulder and then, without asking,
25:35lifted me off the ground. I was in his arms, off the slope, against his chest. I could feel how
25:42fast
25:42his heart was going, he said. You could have been killed. Quiet, like he was saying it to himself
25:47and couldn't stop. He carried me to the road. I can walk by myself. He did not respond to this.
25:54By the time Nikos arrived, Alexander's face was still wrong. Too tight. Something in his eyes that
26:00had not been released. Iris pulled me out. She covered me completely. I came away without a mark
26:08because of her. Alexander stood at the edge of the group, arms crossed, looking at me. I looked back.
26:14You need to stay still. I know. We're going straight back and Nikos is doing a full examination.
26:19I know. He helped me into the carriage. We rode back in silence. His hand stayed on the seat behind
26:25me the whole way. Not touching, just there. At some point, I felt something hit my face. I looked up
26:31at
26:31the clear afternoon sky. Then I understood it wasn't rain. I reached over and covered his hand with mine.
26:36He turned it palm up immediately and held on. I didn't let go. Stay off it for a week.
26:41No broken bones. Deep bruising across your back. Two fingers he wrapped tightly and told me not to use.
26:48I lay there after he left and looked at the ceiling. Theo came in with broth. The carriage had been
26:53tampered with. Something in the wheel mechanism. The household guard was already investigating.
26:59Who would go after Karita's carriage? And why now? I was still turning it over when the door opened.
27:08Alexander. He came in and sat in the chair beside the bed without speaking. He set a small wooden box
27:14on the nightstand. The wheel pin was pulled. It wasn't an accident. Do you know who? Working on it.
27:20He looked at my wrapped hand. The muscle in his jaw moved. You kept my mother from going over that
27:24wall.
27:25She would have done the same for me. That isn't the point. Quiet again. When he looked at me this
27:30time,
27:30something in it had shifted entirely. Iris, I need to tell you something. I've known for weeks that
27:35I was going to have to dissolve this marriage. I asked Nikos to begin preparing the docutation.
27:40My chest went completely still. I knew you were waiting for it. The way you kept your distance.
27:45The chest you were filling. You were always going to leave. I told myself I was simply doing it for
27:51you before you had to ask. The papers are ready. You can go whenever you choose. I've had an account
27:56prepared. Property and silver. Enough to live on your own terms for as long as you need. You don't
28:00have to wait for the worst. You don't have to keep pretending. I know you've been counting the days.
28:05You don't have to do that anymore. Just go. He stood up and walked out. I sat there in the
28:09silence
28:09after the door closed. In your mind. That is who I am. My throat was burning. I could not find
28:15words
28:15for what was sitting in my chest. I just looked at the door for a long time. The next morning,
28:20Alexander was gone before I woke. By midday, word had reached the household from the city council
28:25offices. Corinna found me before I heard it from anyone else. Iris. Alexander. There's been a formal
28:32accusation submitted to the war council. Someone has filed a report claiming he deliberately surrendered
28:38the northern pass two years ago. That he passed defensive positions to the enemy. That the army's
28:43losses that season were his doing. I read the council notice twice. Alexander had held that
28:48pass for three weeks against a force three times his size. And he had rushed to dissolve our marriage
28:53before this broke. Theo found me in the corridor. He would never. You know that. I sat down. I made
28:59myself think. My mother had treated a council official years ago. He had come to thank my father afterward.
29:05I remembered his name. I remembered his face. He was still on the war council board. I spent the next
29:10hour finding out where his offices were.
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