- 14 hours ago
Watch the movie with highest quality exclusively # English # Animation # Comedy
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:05You
00:00:21In the beginning there was only darkness
00:00:28And out of that darkness was born
00:00:31The demon Zal
00:00:33Ruler of the Zikidis
00:00:35And oppressor of humankind
00:00:40But from out of the shadows came Kron
00:00:43Warrior above all warriors
00:00:45And bearer of the god's soul
00:00:53He freed humankind
00:00:57And led them
00:00:59To victory
00:01:27But victory was dearly won
00:01:32Suffering a mortal wound to his heart
00:01:35Kron bled for seven days and seven nights
00:01:38And a hundred warriors drank of his spilled blood
00:01:44And bared his strength
00:01:54Kron looked down at them
00:01:56And what he saw was good
00:01:58And with that
00:02:00He died
00:02:04Thus were born the barbarians
00:02:07The mighty sons of Kron
00:02:10Kron bled for seven days and seven days and seven days
00:02:33Baby
00:02:34Baby!
00:02:41Oh, yeah!
00:03:04Yes!
00:03:07Hey!
00:03:08Listen up, people.
00:03:10Strength, courage, fearlessness.
00:03:14These traits were Kron's gifts to our people.
00:03:17For thousands of generations,
00:03:19his undiluted blood has been running through our veins.
00:03:23That is what we celebrate on this day,
00:03:25every year, before we go on a quest.
00:03:29But first and foremost,
00:03:30it is Kron's blood which makes us barbarians,
00:03:33the greatest warriors in all of Metalonia.
00:03:37Okay, Ronal, it's your turn.
00:03:40Uh, Ronal is ill.
00:03:41Uh, Ronal is taking a sick day.
00:03:45Ronal!
00:03:47Why don't you just skip me?
00:03:49My elbow is hurting.
00:03:51Maybe I'm getting osteoporosis.
00:03:54Jerk off elbow?
00:03:56Oh, Ronal.
00:03:57Come on!
00:03:58Just give it all you've got, kid.
00:04:02Hmm?
00:04:04I can't wait to see this shit.
00:04:09No!
00:04:30Oh, fuck me.
00:04:34Come on, one more.
00:04:35I can't...
00:04:37do...
00:04:38Come on.
00:04:39More!
00:04:41You have to get in shape before going out on a quest, Ronal.
00:04:44A barbarian who can't swing a double-headed axis.
00:04:47Well, he's just not a real barbarian.
00:04:50What the hell am I going to do on a quest anyway?
00:04:52I'll just get in your way.
00:04:53Why can't I hang at home?
00:04:54You're a son of Kron, Ronal.
00:04:56Kron's sons go on quests to kill monsters and return home in glory.
00:05:00That's the essence of being a barbarian.
00:05:03Uncle, take a look at me.
00:05:05What can I do to harm a monster?
00:05:07Flex these muscles and hope it laughs itself to death?
00:05:09Yeah, yeah.
00:05:10Ugh.
00:05:11What's up, Ronal?
00:05:12Have you gotten some muscles?
00:05:13Ha ha ha ha!
00:05:14Ha ha ha!
00:05:15Ha ha ha!
00:05:16Hey, have you gotten yourself some brain cells, huh?
00:05:19Where?
00:05:19Ugh!
00:05:20If there's one on my back, can you pop it for me?
00:05:22So freaking typical.
00:05:23Right before the party!
00:05:24Listen, Ronal.
00:05:25Going out on a quest is more about having big balls rather than big muscles.
00:05:29It's about courage.
00:05:31Once you show you're a real man, questing is fun and crushing the enemy is easy.
00:05:35Okay, maybe it's just me, but I can't get over the fact that you can seriously die from questing!
00:05:40I'll just shut up and train, idiot!
00:05:42It's actually pretty heavy!
00:05:51What the hell is that?
00:06:03The alarm!
00:06:04Take arms, people!
00:06:06On your marks!
00:06:07Protect the tribes!
00:06:09Come on!
00:06:10Yeah!
00:06:10You too, Ronal!
00:06:11No!
00:06:11Barricades are getting me first, guys!
00:06:14Come on, better do it!
00:06:20Come on!
00:06:21Pull!
00:06:21Yeah!
00:06:25Man the barricades, you lazy bitches!
00:06:35Hold it.
00:06:38Hold it!
00:06:54Halt!
00:06:55Who goes there?
00:07:02Greetings, noble barbarians!
00:07:05Master Florian Bard at your service.
00:07:08We merely wish for a humble fee, of course,
00:07:11to enrich your spectacular buffet of muscles
00:07:15with noble sonatas from olden times
00:07:19about heroes and heroines.
00:07:24Voila!
00:07:31Voila!
00:07:33Aaaaaah!
00:07:34Aaaaaah!
00:07:35Aaaaaah!
00:07:36Aaaaaah!
00:07:37Aaaaaah!
00:07:39Aaaaaah!
00:07:40Singers!
00:07:40What the...
00:07:41They sing songs at parties!
00:07:43Parties?
00:07:43That badass weapon is not a flame hurler.
00:07:46It's a fucking tuba, man.
00:07:48Ah...
00:07:49Coming!
00:07:50Damn!
00:07:51Oh, that sucks!
00:07:52Aw, crap!
00:07:53I haven't cracked open a skull in ages.
00:07:55How the hell would I know that was a tuba?
00:07:58Your mom plays a tuba.
00:08:01Wow!
00:08:03Oh!
00:08:06Howdy, girls!
00:08:07How about washing my massive, rock-hard, filthy, dirty,
00:08:11four-stringed loot?
00:08:12Loot?
00:08:13Hey!
00:08:14It's time for poems, not frivolity, my young Annibert!
00:08:17Duty calls!
00:08:17We must practice for the party!
00:08:19Isn't there just a little time to check out the honeys?
00:08:22No!
00:08:23No!
00:08:23No!
00:08:23A real bard has to know all poems down to the smallest detail!
00:08:27Does it have to be so perfect?
00:08:30Isn't it about time we went on a quest and join the barbarians tomorrow?
00:08:33And get into all the action!
00:08:35Look at me!
00:08:36I really need to meet some chicks, man!
00:08:38I mean, write some very important poems and that sort of thing?
00:08:43Oh, young Annibert!
00:08:46Ow!
00:08:47You won't be ready for that until you know all poems ever written entirely by heart!
00:08:51What?!
00:08:51But that'll take a hundred years!
00:08:53Buh!
00:08:53Nonsense!
00:08:54That's total rubbish, my little friend!
00:08:56I was only 57 when I was fully trained!
00:08:59A mere youngster!
00:09:00Now slit!
00:09:01Ow!
00:09:02I'll suck shit!
00:09:15Okay!
00:09:17Who's gonna suck the jello shot out of my midget sand?
00:09:20No!
00:09:22No!
00:09:22No!
00:09:25No!
00:09:26No!
00:09:27No!
00:09:28No!
00:09:28I went hunting the other day, right?
00:09:30And just happened to run into an orc kindergarten!
00:09:33Cute kids!
00:09:34Here you go, sugar!
00:09:35This is for you!
00:09:36Wow!
00:09:37It's gorgeous!
00:09:38Ooh!
00:09:38Really brings out your eyes!
00:09:40Oh!
00:09:40You gotta see this one, too!
00:09:42It's an invisibility body lotion!
00:09:45I used it last year when I snuck into a harrow!
00:09:48Cool, right?
00:09:49Totally sneaky deaky man!
00:09:51You can't even see who's attacking!
00:09:53Ow!
00:09:54What?
00:09:55What was that?
00:09:56Stop it!
00:09:57Don't stop!
00:09:58There it goes again!
00:09:59No!
00:09:59Please stop it!
00:10:00Who's hitting you, Ronald?
00:10:01It just can't stop!
00:10:03Fucking stop it!
00:10:04You fat piece of shit!
00:10:06Oh, Ronald!
00:10:07You are such a pussy!
00:10:38Going out!
00:10:40I own time!
00:10:41All sons of Kron are gathered!
00:10:42Lord Valkasar!
00:10:44Then the time is come!
00:10:46Hah hah hah hahahah Scottish!
00:11:06Can I take over your shift?
00:11:08What about the party?
00:11:11Eh, I was a bit tired.
00:11:14Okay, then.
00:11:15But blow the horn if you see anything suspicious, okay?
00:11:18Think you can do that?
00:11:20Who cares if I can blow that shitty horn?
00:11:22I just want to be alone, okay?
00:11:24It's a big horn.
00:11:25First you draw in a big breath, deep in your gut.
00:11:29Then you...
00:11:30Oh, for God's sake, Uncle.
00:11:31Who in the hell would bother attacking us?
00:11:34We're barbarians.
00:11:35We've crushed everything in the Northern Hemisphere.
00:11:38We've never been attacked, damn it.
00:11:40You may be right, but it's the principle that counts.
00:11:45Someday that kid's gonna be the death of me.
00:11:53You're fucking barbarians, man.
00:12:10You know, what the hell is that?
00:12:11What the hell is that?
00:12:12A very madre ye.
00:12:24I'm dying!
00:12:26Becca's not dead.
00:12:26I'm dying!
00:12:30What the hell, I'm dying, man.
00:12:32We wouldn't be interested in it.
00:12:32I'm not dying.
00:12:33He's gonna get out of Tiger.
00:12:37He's gonna be the routine.
00:12:38I'm not gonna try.
00:12:39He'll be more gentle,oser.
00:12:45We're under attack.
00:12:47We're under attack!
00:12:51Quick, grab your weapons!
00:13:03No, no, no, no!
00:13:05What is your command?
00:13:06Unleash the fires of hell upon them!
00:13:13Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
00:13:18Fire!
00:13:24Show no prestige!
00:13:31Hey, look! Fireworks!
00:13:33I don't remember ordering any fireworks.
00:13:44Ah! We're under attack!
00:13:47Barbarians, defend yourselves!
00:13:57Oh, thank heaven!
00:13:59You're safe!
00:14:00Mwah!
00:14:01Woo! This is one bitch party, man!
00:14:10Help! Help!
00:14:33Oh, yeah.
00:14:50I think that's all of them.
00:14:58He's fine.
00:15:03I've been totally overrun! Why did you blow the fucking horn, Ronald?
00:15:07I tried! I really did!
00:15:08You tried? Trying just isn't good enough, Ronald!
00:15:11Jump on! We've gotta save the others!
00:15:31Are these the famous sons of Kron? How pathetic!
00:15:39Chain them all up! And don't leave anyone behind!
00:15:47We Parparians never surrender!
00:16:16Everyone bows to Lord Volkazon!
00:16:22No!
00:16:24Or die!
00:16:26No!
00:16:28Take them away!
00:16:30You heard Lord Volkazon! Get the last ones locked up!
00:16:34That's it!
00:16:35Come on! Hurry up!
00:16:36Get the pigs in the cart!
00:16:38I haven't got all night!
00:16:39Give me that little turd!
00:16:40I don't wanna go!
00:16:41It hurts!
00:16:42Help!
00:16:44Remember your shoes and purses?
00:16:46I mean axes!
00:16:46We won't be coming back to get them!
00:16:48So let's go!
00:16:49Mr. General?
00:16:50Now what?
00:16:51I got a small problem here.
00:16:52This prisoner don't vet the cops.
00:16:53What should I do?
00:16:55Huh?
00:16:55That's not a buff, Parian!
00:16:56Take him out back and kill the bitch!
00:16:58What?
00:16:58Wow!
00:17:00No!
00:17:00Thanks, Tuts!
00:17:01Let me go!
00:17:01Lucky bastard!
00:17:03Damn it, he always gets the fun jobs!
00:17:05On the leather, it feels nice!
00:17:07On the leather, it feels nice!
00:17:10Buy it in a tiny size!
00:17:12Buy it in a tiny size!
00:17:15It feels nice!
00:17:19Help!
00:17:20Help!
00:17:21Help!
00:17:22Help!
00:17:25I love this job!
00:17:28Help!
00:17:31Damn!
00:17:31I think I got a hot hot!
00:17:33Ow!
00:17:38Oh shit!
00:17:40What a night!
00:17:41My head is killing me!
00:17:43Wow!
00:17:43This place looks pretty nasty!
00:17:45Where'd everyone go?
00:17:48You heading to the after party or something?
00:17:50Hey dude!
00:17:51Wait up!
00:18:07No!
00:18:08Oh no!
00:18:10Uncle!
00:18:11You're alive!
00:18:13Not for long!
00:18:16Cron is...
00:18:17calling me home!
00:18:19No!
00:18:19Uncle!
00:18:20It's probably just a...
00:18:22Flesh wound?
00:18:23Ronald!
00:18:24When your parents died, I promised to look after you!
00:18:28I kept that promise!
00:18:30Now it's your turn!
00:18:31Promise me something!
00:18:33That...
00:18:34You'll save the others!
00:18:36They're counting on you, Ronald!
00:18:38What?
00:18:39But...
00:18:39I can't!
00:18:40Promise me!
00:18:41But...
00:18:42What?
00:18:42You must go north!
00:18:44To the Oracle!
00:18:46He...
00:18:47He will help you!
00:18:48The Oracle?
00:18:49But...
00:18:50But...
00:18:50How?
00:18:54You are their only hope, Ronald.
00:18:57You are the last free barbarian.
00:19:04Uncle?
00:19:06Uncle!
00:19:09Uncle...
00:19:16No!
00:19:39What's up?
00:19:40You going on a quest?
00:19:41Uh, no.
00:19:42I have to go find the other barbarians.
00:19:44Okay.
00:19:45Huh?
00:19:46That sounds like a quest.
00:19:47You're going on a quest!
00:19:48I'm not going on a quest.
00:19:50I have to find my tribe.
00:19:51That is so totally a quest!
00:19:52Wait up!
00:19:54Uh, who are you?
00:19:55Howdy, Aliburt, Bard.
00:19:57I am tickled pink to join ya.
00:19:59Wait, hang on.
00:19:59Listen, you can't say no,
00:20:00because I'll just follow you like a shadow.
00:20:02Yeah, but...
00:20:02Oh, it's gonna be awesome, man!
00:20:04You know what?
00:20:04Since we're heading north,
00:20:06why don't we visit the Amazons along the way?
00:20:08No.
00:20:08I hear the chicks up there are totally drool.
00:20:11We gotta check it out, man!
00:20:13Listen.
00:20:14It's true!
00:20:14Stop following me around, okay?
00:20:16You know, Amazon chicks are born hotter and hornier
00:20:18than a June bride and a feather, man!
00:20:20Shit, you're a drag, man!
00:20:23I've got it!
00:20:25We'll go to Borrelia!
00:20:26No.
00:20:27The women there have curly tails and four titties!
00:20:30Wouldn't that be great?
00:20:31They sound like pigs.
00:20:32Oh, come on.
00:20:33What are we doing here, anyway?
00:20:36I need to talk to the Oracle.
00:20:38So do you think this dude can hook us up?
00:20:41Wow.
00:20:43Great ass, buddy.
00:20:45Don't touch me.
00:20:46Sweet!
00:20:54Uh, hello?
00:20:59Hello?
00:21:00Well, you sure took your sweet time.
00:21:02I've been sitting here since last Sunday.
00:21:04Are you coming in or what?
00:21:05Uh, sorry, what?
00:21:07Well, you need to wipe my shit-stained shriveled ass, you idiot.
00:21:10What the fuck are you doing here?
00:21:11Aren't you the fucking nurse?
00:21:12Uh, what?
00:21:13No, we, we...
00:21:14Wait a minute.
00:21:17I mean, Ed Gundar sent me.
00:21:21All right, that's it.
00:21:22I'm done shitting.
00:21:23Now get to wiping.
00:21:24It's always easier on my goddamn hemorrhoids.
00:21:26Jeez, did I wash my hands?
00:21:27Who washes with their hands anyway?
00:21:29Who cares the fuck?
00:21:33I gotta tell you something about this Lord Volcazar.
00:21:36He's a mighty warrior.
00:21:38The dark forces of the Zacchitis protects him.
00:21:43Yeah, well, well, it's not as if I want to fight him or anything.
00:21:46I just want to find my tribe.
00:21:48Volcazar craves the power to rule all of Metalonia.
00:21:52So far, no one's been able to stop it.
00:22:21This guy is surrounded
00:22:23by impenetrable armor.
00:22:25No weapon can ever hurt this bastard.
00:22:28There is only one sword
00:22:30with the power to defeat him.
00:22:32Watch.
00:22:43Oh, wow.
00:22:44Uh, what's so special about that?
00:22:47You barbarian, of all people should know that.
00:22:49This is Kron's sword.
00:22:58Nah, it's a joke, right?
00:23:02Don't you know it doesn't exist?
00:23:04All barbarians have been searching
00:23:06for that stupid sword forever.
00:23:08I'm sorry to break it to you, old man,
00:23:10but it's just a silly fairy tale.
00:23:12Rob's sword is no myth, you little shitstack.
00:23:15Only that sword can hurt Lord Volcazar.
00:23:17And you will never save your tribe
00:23:20without killing him burrow.
00:23:21Look, look, look, I can't.
00:23:23Only a fearless warrior will be able
00:23:25to use Kron's sword.
00:23:27And without a great warrior,
00:23:29Volcazar is invincible.
00:23:31And without a barbarian with big balls,
00:23:33your tribe is doomed.
00:23:39Why do I care?
00:23:40I'm just an oracle.
00:23:41I don't give a fuck.
00:23:43It ain't my fault the barbarians were captured,
00:23:46is it now?
00:23:47I don't give a fuck.
00:24:33Khor Azul!
00:24:36Sorcerer!
00:24:38My lord, the time is nigh.
00:24:40We must awaken the Zacchitis Temple soon
00:24:42before it's too late for the ritual.
00:24:44Are all Kron's sons caught?
00:24:47My mission is complete.
00:24:49Fantastic, my lord.
00:24:51Now nothing can stop us.
00:24:53Mighty Zal,
00:24:54Kron's sons have all been captured.
00:24:57Awaken from your slumber!
00:25:01Hey!
00:25:02What the hell are you?
00:25:03At last!
00:25:16What?
00:25:17What now?
00:25:18The great and mighty Zal isn't pleased.
00:25:21One of Kron's sons is missing!
00:25:23Impossible!
00:25:25Unless...
00:25:25Hey, I don't understand.
00:25:27We didn't leave anyone alive.
00:25:28Oh!
00:25:30I need the blood of every living barbarian,
00:25:32and you go and let one escape!
00:25:35I can't explain.
00:25:37Bring him to me!
00:25:39Now!
00:25:41Now!
00:25:42We're on a quest!
00:25:44Allibert and Rona!
00:25:46The biggest heroes in Mentalonia!
00:25:49Woohoo!
00:25:51We're gonna rock!
00:25:53Woo!
00:25:56And all the gawdney girls will say,
00:25:58Allibert, you're so sexy!
00:26:00Listen, pig fuck.
00:26:01I just witnessed my village burn to the ground,
00:26:03and now I have to find Kron's sword,
00:26:05even though I haven't got a rat's ass chance of finding it.
00:26:08So will you just shut up with your odes
00:26:09and give me a chance to think?
00:26:12Hey, I could strum a little barbarian tune instead!
00:26:14No, please, not that crap!
00:26:17And Kron, he pulls his mighty sword
00:26:19and thrust with all his strength.
00:26:21The sword in two's a kitty's skull
00:26:23which cracks along his wang.
00:26:25Huh?
00:26:25That song.
00:26:26What?
00:26:27What is that?
00:26:27The Ballad of Kron.
00:26:28The Ballad of Kron?
00:26:29It has 2,073 verses.
00:26:32I know them all by heart.
00:26:33And seriously, dude,
00:26:34Kron gets laid in half of them.
00:26:36Why didn't you tell me about it, man?
00:26:38That it gets laid a lot?
00:26:39No, about the lyrics.
00:26:41It's about Kron, you idiot.
00:26:43That verse was about his sword.
00:26:44Was it?
00:26:45Any verses about where the sword is?
00:26:47Quick, get to the end.
00:26:48From his chest the blood gushed forth,
00:26:51it gushed out night and day.
00:26:52No, no, after he dies.
00:26:54Come on, sing it.
00:26:55In his grave the sword was lain,
00:26:57a place beyond recall.
00:26:58Uh, the Book of Wisdom in Elvingard
00:27:01is bound to make the call.
00:27:03The Book of Wisdom in Elvingard.
00:27:06That's it.
00:27:06What?
00:27:07We've got to go to Elvingard
00:27:08and read the Book of Wisdom.
00:27:09Really?
00:27:09That's how we'll find the sword.
00:27:11Woo-hoo!
00:27:11Those elf babes are totally bitchin'.
00:27:13This is gonna be a kick-ass quest.
00:27:17Okay, I have two rules for this trip.
00:27:19One, this is not a quest.
00:27:21And two, if we ever see anything
00:27:23that is even remotely quest-like,
00:27:25we'll absolutely go around it.
00:27:27Deal?
00:27:28Go around it.
00:27:28Gotcha.
00:27:29Good.
00:27:31Oh, shit.
00:27:37I'm not quite sure,
00:27:39but did we just break rule number one or two?
00:27:43Run for your lives!
00:27:46Shit.
00:27:46What the hell is this?
00:27:56Do you hear that?
00:28:12No, no, no, no, no.
00:28:14No, no, wait!
00:28:15Stop!
00:28:23Who are you?
00:28:24Are you one of them?
00:28:26Got my throat.
00:28:27Answer me!
00:28:30I'm just an innocent traveler.
00:28:32I swear.
00:28:33I really don't want to disturb you.
00:28:35You're a massacre of random men.
00:28:38They challenged me to a duel.
00:28:41Oh, no, not again.
00:28:50Screw it.
00:28:51I'll let you live.
00:28:56Oh!
00:28:57Hey, Ronald!
00:28:57I think we just found the fairies warrior we need for Kron's sword.
00:29:00What?
00:29:01Are you crazy?
00:29:02She's a fucking psychopath.
00:29:04Uh, exactly.
00:29:05What are you waiting for?
00:29:06Ask her!
00:29:07No!
00:29:08Asshole.
00:29:09Hey, gorgeous.
00:29:10My buddy Ronald wants to ask you something.
00:29:12No!
00:29:12He's wondering if a feisty, a warrior babe like you would be into joining our quest,
00:29:16you know?
00:29:17To, like, save his tribe.
00:29:18Allie Burt, you idiot.
00:29:19And as an added bonus, I'll let you play with Daddy's lute for the campfire.
00:29:24If you catch my drift, I'll...
00:29:25Listen, I have no idea what he's going on about.
00:29:27I really don't know this asshole.
00:29:29Wrap your hand around its neck and I'll teach you how to...
00:29:33I have zero interest in playing with your instrument.
00:29:35Hey!
00:29:36Where are you going?
00:29:37This is a hell of an offer.
00:29:38I told you it was a bad idea.
00:29:40We'll find someone else to save the barbarians.
00:29:43Did you say barbarians?
00:29:46Uh, yeah.
00:29:47Barbarians?
00:29:48Are they your tribe?
00:29:49Uh, yeah.
00:29:50The ones they call the greatest warriors of Medellonia?
00:29:53Um, yeah.
00:29:58It's a worthy cause.
00:29:59I'll join you.
00:30:01Uh, sorry, what?
00:30:02I'm Sandra, shield maiden of the shield maiden clan.
00:30:05Where are you going?
00:30:06Uh, to the Elven Tower.
00:30:08We just have to figure out where it is first.
00:30:10I think we'll need a guide.
00:30:12There's probably one in the next town.
00:30:14Follow me.
00:30:14Hey, wait, you can't just take over the...
00:30:16Do you have a problem with that?
00:30:17Listen.
00:30:18Uh, no.
00:30:20Great.
00:30:21Let's go.
00:30:22Score, Ronald.
00:30:23She's so into you.
00:30:25You dog.
00:30:36Scraak!
00:30:36Son of crud!
00:30:38Son of crud!
00:30:39Son of crud!
00:30:40Ah!
00:30:41Faster!
00:30:42Son of crud!
00:30:47Son of crud!
00:31:02Son of crud!
00:31:02Son of crud!
00:31:03Son of crud!
00:31:04Son of crud!
00:31:05Son of crud!
00:31:08Son of crud!
00:31:09Son of crud!
00:31:11Son of crud!
00:31:12Son of crud!
00:31:17Son of crud!
00:31:18Son of crud!
00:31:20Son of crud!
00:31:22Son of crud!
00:31:23Son of crud!
00:31:24Son of crud!
00:31:24Son of crud!
00:31:26Son of crud!
00:31:27Son of crud!
00:31:27Son of crud!
00:31:28today stay behind me whoa whoa whoa easy now we'll go in quietly we'll find our
00:31:35guide and get out of here without anyone noticing and no fighting okay please
00:31:45your call thanks
00:32:07you know what your tits look a bit heavy can i hold them for you
00:32:12your mom has to say he sits around
00:32:20i'm just saying but that's mom right you gotta love your mom
00:32:25i love her mom
00:32:26i love my mom
00:32:30shut the fuck up ugly
00:32:34why do you want
00:32:35uh we were looking for a guide
00:32:39there's only one left in the back behind the shitter ask for elric hey who wanted a bear
00:32:46and a double banana okay thanks
00:32:57uh hey and are you elric the voice of the wind is a light in the evening sun the children
00:33:05of the stars lead mother earth to rest the darkness is filled by the moans of happy spirits lovers
00:33:14i sensed you would come we elves are connected to all living things let ourselves unite
00:33:22you have the eagle's imagination on the cod's silent will the music of the copper beaches
00:33:28in your heart
00:33:31well now that sounds interesting listen i'm ronal and i'm
00:33:40shh
00:33:41names carry no meaning
00:33:44okay right but here's the thing i need a guide
00:33:46yes yes all right but you need spiritual or physical guidance
00:33:49we're going to the elven tower
00:33:50i don't have a lot of gold but
00:33:51the wind will tell me what to do with you
00:33:54stand still
00:33:55let me penetrate your aura
00:33:57why
00:34:04the wind tells me to go with you
00:34:06my bow will sing with your sword
00:34:08i'm ready
00:34:11oh
00:34:13boy
00:34:17you fucking idiot
00:34:19hey
00:34:20i found him
00:34:21my bow will sing with your sword
00:34:23whatever let's bounce
00:34:27hey shield maiden
00:34:29leaving so soon
00:34:30how about a
00:34:32little dance
00:34:36uh
00:34:40hey hey guys everything everything's okay
00:34:42we're leaving now
00:34:44no worries we're cool
00:34:45i accept your challenge
00:34:47what
00:34:47they must defeat me
00:34:49or die
00:34:50you just fucking agreed not to cause any problems
00:34:53but they challenged me
00:34:54you promised
00:34:55in and out without any fighting
00:34:59okay
00:34:59it's all up to you
00:35:01muscle boy
00:35:02hey shield maiden
00:35:03what's it gonna be
00:35:04yeah what's it gonna be
00:35:05uh
00:35:06listen
00:35:06hmm
00:35:07friends
00:35:08i know you're itching for a big fight
00:35:10but we're kind of in a
00:35:12hurry
00:35:13uh
00:35:13now
00:35:13but i'm sure there must be someone else in here
00:35:16willing to go a few rounds with you
00:35:17so
00:35:18if it's okay with you
00:35:20we'll just leave now
00:35:28i'm not here
00:35:29what
00:35:35that will make a nice little boat
00:35:45have you ever seen one of these
00:35:47i can teach you how to play
00:35:49it makes you horny
00:35:50good
00:35:50i sense an aura of aggression in this room
00:36:00any last words shorty
00:36:05dude's dead
00:36:06come on
00:36:07that's friggin disgusting
00:36:09i'm gonna cork you like a bottle you little shit
00:36:12that's enough
00:36:13leave him alone
00:36:21black riders
00:36:22where's mama's dead
00:36:24where is he
00:36:34son of crass
00:36:36son of crass
00:36:37that's him
00:36:37take him
00:36:38bring it up
00:36:40help
00:36:48no challenge to lord
00:36:50volcazar's riders goes unpunished
00:36:57let's go
00:36:59hey
00:37:00hurry
00:37:04hey for the last time
00:37:06which one of you assholes ordered the manhattan
00:37:08that's real bad
00:37:10brush himself
00:37:12oh fuck me
00:37:27fabulous my lord
00:37:28one more strike and you'll beat your personal record
00:37:32but my lord
00:37:33we have to find the last son of cron before the next full moon
00:37:36or else
00:37:37when are you going to shut up hensile dick
00:37:39i beg your pardon my lord
00:37:44hello
00:37:44the target has escaped
00:37:46watch
00:37:47it's been a very difficult evening
00:37:49the barbarian is being helped by a great warrior
00:37:51two of my riders are dead
00:37:54i will not tolerate humiliation
00:37:57bring them to me
00:37:59both of them
00:38:13are you sure you know where we are
00:38:15it feels like we're walking in circles
00:38:17the wing is speaking to my soul
00:38:18will be in the elf kingdom soon
00:38:20i sense it
00:38:21you said the same thing two days ago
00:38:23we're lost goddammit
00:38:25we'll end up dying like those dried out losers
00:38:29what's so funny
00:38:30i've heard stories about the courage and strength of the barbarians
00:38:33but you have neither
00:38:34you just moan and whine all the time
00:38:37i happen to find it very funny considering who your ancestors are
00:38:41so i'm a joke
00:38:41why did you come along if you think i whine so much
00:38:44what's your deal with the barbarians
00:38:46that's my business
00:38:47stop
00:38:49look
00:38:54uh meaning what
00:38:56we elves can connect with all living creatures
00:38:58i will unite with its soul
00:39:00and make it show us the way out
00:39:28look
00:39:29on the other side
00:39:31there's no labyrinth over there
00:39:36the entrance to the elf kingdom
00:39:39i did it
00:39:51elven gates
00:39:52i salute you
00:39:57did you say this was the entrance
00:40:23the keepers of the gate
00:40:25must weigh our souls
00:40:29only those of the right stature
00:40:31are allowed to enter
00:40:34and uh
00:40:35what about those with uh
00:40:36lesser stature
00:40:37what
00:40:37who
00:40:38well the walls will crush them
00:40:39what
00:40:40well
00:40:41shall we go
00:40:41it's just an fyi
00:40:42but i
00:40:42but i can't do it
00:40:44what
00:40:44honestly guys
00:40:45i'm a pathetic excuse for a barbarian
00:40:47and i'm certainly not of the right stature
00:40:50i don't think that's how it's meant
00:40:52roanel
00:40:52forget it
00:40:53we are going around it
00:40:55that's not a good idea
00:40:56when you're on a quest you must follow the rules
00:40:58seriously going on quests is only going to get you killed
00:41:01and if you insist on calling this a quest then read my lips
00:41:05this is my quest
00:41:06and i have decided that we are going around this gate
00:41:09come on
00:41:10super
00:41:19see
00:41:20no death traps
00:41:21no gates
00:41:21no nothing in our way
00:41:22all this quest garbage is so dumb
00:41:25if you just take a moment
00:41:26think a little outside of the box
00:41:34oh my man
00:41:36what the hell was that
00:41:37we've offended the keepers of the gate
00:41:39i sense
00:41:40hooray teacher
00:41:44come on
00:41:46come on
00:41:51faster
00:42:02pick it up
00:42:13you fucking loser
00:42:16your stupid idea almost got us killed
00:42:17how the hell would i know the mountain would come alive
00:42:20i'm just telling you i tried to avoid problems
00:42:22tried
00:42:23trying just isn't good enough roanel
00:42:25who
00:42:26there are always going to be problems on quests
00:42:30you're going to have to solve them
00:42:32not go around
00:42:43this is the tower of the elves
00:42:46all of the world's wisdom is in there
00:42:52the book of wisdom sits within the top chamber
00:42:56this way the moon can read it on its journey across the darkened sky of night
00:43:00the most sacred
00:43:02the most sacred
00:43:02of sacred
00:43:04that's fine
00:43:05that's where we're going
00:43:07look
00:43:11no one from the outside can enter
00:43:13the elf king's archers have hawk's eyes
00:43:27shit
00:43:28they kill everything they see
00:43:41so we'll have to do it the hard way
00:43:43i kill the two up front while you run across
00:43:45no
00:43:48i'll do it
00:43:49what
00:43:51alone
00:43:52rono are you crazy
00:43:54they'll kill you before you make it to the bridge
00:43:56yeah i know
00:43:58but they won't see me
00:44:01there isn't much left and i'm the smallest one
00:44:04wait here
00:44:06lord
00:44:06i could have used a case of that in high school
00:44:09how do i look
00:44:10pretty sneaky isn't it
00:44:13this is awkward
00:44:15what the fuck is so funny
00:44:17you missed a spot
00:44:19what what it's it's fucking empty
00:44:22ah thanks a lot gorak
00:44:24yo relax ronal
00:44:25no one will notice those tiny balls
00:44:27just wait here till i get back okay
00:44:30don't do it ronal
00:44:31we'll just get killed
00:44:32what it's natural
00:44:42what you found
00:44:43what it's
00:44:47it's all
00:44:53thank you
00:44:53of people
00:44:54you
00:44:54of people
00:44:55of people
00:44:55you
00:44:55of people
00:44:57of people
00:44:58of people
00:44:58you
00:44:58und
00:44:58what is it
00:44:58what is it
00:45:01what is it
00:45:19It's open.
00:45:33Okay.
00:45:38Oh, my God. Such a bad shit.
00:45:50Bullshit.
00:46:18Oh, my God.
00:46:21Oh, my God.
00:46:41Whoa.
00:46:43There it is.
00:46:50Okay. Let's see what we got.
00:46:53Sword of Kron. Sword of Kron.
00:46:56How the hell am I gonna find Sword of Kron?
00:46:59Oh, that's it.
00:47:02That's it.
00:47:03Kron's sword.
00:47:04Huh.
00:47:05Piece of cake.
00:47:07Like anyone's ever gonna notice.
00:47:10Woo-hoo!
00:47:15Yes!
00:47:15Yahoo!
00:47:17Yahoo!
00:47:18Yahoo!
00:47:19Yahoo!
00:47:21Yahoo!
00:47:23Yahoo!
00:47:24Yahoo!
00:47:27YouTube!
00:47:27Yahoo!
00:47:40Yahoo!
00:47:42Woohoo!
00:47:46Ah!
00:47:48To him?ぎ
00:47:54That's it.
00:47:55In what kind of way?
00:48:04Oh!
00:48:25The map says that Kron was buried with his sword in the mountain of eternity.
00:48:31My elf soul senses that it is far, far...
00:48:34Isn't that it?
00:48:37Fairly close by. Destiny is on our side.
00:48:46I was wrong about you.
00:48:49What?
00:48:50The tower. You made it.
00:48:52Well, sort of.
00:48:54You do the barbarian's honor.
00:48:58Uh, thanks.
00:49:02Well...
00:49:02I've got an axe to sharpen, so...
00:49:05Uh, I-I was thinking.
00:49:06Hm?
00:49:07Well, it's just...
00:49:08Uh...
00:49:09I never thanked you...
00:49:11For, uh...
00:49:13Joining me.
00:49:15Honestly, I couldn't have ever made it without you.
00:49:20Uh...
00:49:20Okay.
00:49:24Well then, we better get some sleep.
00:49:26Maybe we'll find the sword tomorrow.
00:49:28So, uh...
00:49:28How do you watch?
00:49:29We elves don't need any sleep.
00:49:31You can all rest easy.
00:49:33Hm.
00:49:34Can I ask you something, Ronald?
00:49:37Uh...
00:49:37Sure.
00:49:38Go ahead.
00:49:39What are...
00:49:40They like, the barbarians?
00:49:42Well, they're not the brightest.
00:49:44I was thinking...
00:49:46More like...
00:49:47In here.
00:49:49Oh.
00:49:53Uh...
00:49:53A barbarian...
00:49:56Is always there to help...
00:49:57When you need them.
00:49:59No matter how dangerous or difficult it is.
00:50:02And they go on quests all the time.
00:50:04They're totally fearless.
00:50:06Kinda hard to believe that I'm one of them, huh?
00:50:08And they're...
00:50:09Kick-ass warriors, right?
00:50:11Yep.
00:50:12The best in the world.
00:50:14Kick-ass warriors are so hard to find.
00:50:17Yeah.
00:50:18Uh...
00:50:19A what?
00:50:20I descend from an ancient tribe of shield maidens.
00:50:23Far, far, far away.
00:50:27According to our ways, I must marry the warrior who defeats me in a duel.
00:50:36Many have tried to defeat me.
00:50:40But I was too strong.
00:50:41And with every new duel, I grew stronger and stronger.
00:50:46In the meantime, everybody else found themselves a maid.
00:50:50One...
00:50:51By one.
00:50:52I was the only one left.
00:50:54The duels became few and far between, and...
00:50:57In the end, warriors stopped coming to challenge me.
00:51:03The tribal elders got angry.
00:51:06They told me to leave and go out into Metilonia and find my own worthy husband.
00:51:12A warrior with the strength to conquer me.
00:51:17If somebody defeats me, I have to obey his every wish.
00:51:21But no warrior has been strong enough yet.
00:51:23But... but everywhere I go, everybody says that the barbarians are Metilonia's greatest warriors.
00:51:29So maybe one of the barbarians from your tribe can beat me.
00:51:32That's why I came along.
00:51:34Uh...
00:51:35Okay?
00:51:36Okay what?
00:51:37Yeah, well, uh...
00:51:38All that stuff you just told me.
00:51:40What's that got to do with love at all?
00:51:41What do you mean?
00:51:42Um...
00:51:42I'll love whoever defeats me.
00:51:44I've waited so long for this, I'm about to explode!
00:51:49Whoa.
00:51:52I, uh...
00:51:53I've never told anyone this before.
00:51:55Oh, I see.
00:51:58It feels...
00:52:00Kinda...
00:52:00Nice?
00:52:06You know, Ronal?
00:52:08It's actually...
00:52:09Nice talking to you.
00:52:13You're pretty nice.
00:52:15Uh, to-to talk to!
00:52:17I mean.
00:52:18Uh, okay.
00:52:20Because, uh, well, if I had met it the other way, then we would have to fight.
00:52:23Uh, yeah.
00:52:25That would really...
00:52:26Suck.
00:52:26Yeah.
00:52:27That'd be weird.
00:52:28You and me, in a duel.
00:52:33What was that?
00:52:34I don't know.
00:52:36Hey, Elric!
00:52:41We elves never sleep!
00:52:43Hey, what's that sound there?
00:52:45Oh.
00:52:46I sense...
00:52:47A nasty voice in the wind.
00:52:52I told you, no one defies Lord Bacassar Spriders, I'm punished!
00:52:58Roro, watch out!
00:53:02Xandra!
00:53:10Ronald, wait for me!
00:53:22No!
00:53:22No!
00:53:24Ronald!
00:53:25Ronald!
00:53:27What the fuck?
00:53:33Oh, no.
00:53:34Don't whip your ass to pieces!
00:53:35Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:53:45Goddammit!
00:53:50Let's go!
00:53:57Xandra!
00:53:58Xandra!
00:54:01No, no, no!
00:54:02Corona, we'll find her.
00:54:04If we leave now, we can catch up with them.
00:54:06Come on!
00:54:10What'd you do?
00:54:11I don't know.
00:54:19They're Amazons!
00:54:37Oh, my God, you're hitting, you silly bitch!
00:54:41So what are you wearing tonight?
00:54:43I don't know.
00:54:44G-string?
00:54:45Maybe nothing?
00:54:45Great idea!
00:54:47Ladies, they all look like dick tan!
00:54:50They're all women?
00:54:51I've gotten gone to heaven.
00:54:55Hey, ladies, what's up?
00:54:58Ooh, what is that?
00:54:59Oh, is that a fanny pack?
00:55:02Hey, hey, hey!
00:55:03Nice to meet ya.
00:55:06Scary-ass women?
00:55:14Glorious queen, we have caught these horrible women
00:55:16and have brought them here,
00:55:17so you may decide their fate.
00:55:19We're women?
00:55:21Pick them up!
00:55:22Let me check them out!
00:55:34Hmm...
00:55:37Hmm...
00:55:37Most peculiar women!
00:55:39I've never seen anything like it!
00:55:41Oh!
00:55:42What's this?
00:55:43Ow!
00:55:44One of them even has hair on her cheeks!
00:55:47Oh, my God!
00:55:49Uh, uh, Miss Queen, if I may-
00:55:51Silence!
00:55:51Ugly girl!
00:55:52Who asked you to speak?
00:55:53We're not, uh, women?
00:55:55What?
00:55:56We're kinda more like men, you know?
00:55:58Men?
00:56:01Er...
00:56:02Well, almost.
00:56:03Men!
00:56:07Woo!
00:56:08By heaven!
00:56:09The gods have answered our prayers and sent us too!
00:56:16Finally, the time has come to carry on our tribe!
00:56:20Take them to the sacred mating cabins at once!
00:56:24AYAYAYAYAYAYA!
00:56:25What?
00:56:25The wheel?
00:56:27No, wait a-
00:56:29No...
00:56:30I'm gettin' late!
00:56:33We'll use the skinny one first.
00:56:35Save the other one for tomorrow.
00:56:38Help! Help!
00:56:40Let me go!
00:56:42Come on, man.
00:56:44This is just not fair.
00:56:45I want to get fucked, too.
00:56:47Line up and pass.
00:56:48No pushing.
00:56:49I know you're all horny.
00:56:51Everyone hit their turn.
00:56:53No! No!
00:57:00My lord.
00:57:03Any news?
00:57:04We caught the warrior who helped the last barbarian escape.
00:57:08Bring it out.
00:57:10Get your fucking hands off of me.
00:57:19Shit.
00:57:21Well, look at this.
00:57:25A shield baiter.
00:57:29And a very pretty one, at that.
00:57:31Give me a weapon and let me fight!
00:57:34All good things come to those who wait.
00:57:39Nobody touches me, you bastard!
00:57:42Then die!
00:57:56I'm kidding.
00:57:58Huh?
00:57:59Bye-bye.
00:58:04Hi!
00:58:15Hi!
00:58:16Hi!
00:58:16Hi!
00:58:18Hi!
00:58:19Hi-hah!
00:58:19Hi!
00:58:26Oh, impressive. You really, really turned me off. Such a shame, I have to kill you!
00:58:40Shit. Son of a bitch.
00:59:00You silly girl.
00:59:21I know your rules, Shieldmaiden. You must obey me now. It is your destiny.
00:59:31You? You have to feed at me.
00:59:34Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:59:54Yes! It's about damn time. Is it my turn now?
00:59:57Tonight's mating ceremony is over. You're not up till tomorrow.
01:00:00What? T-tomorrow?
01:00:02Queen's orders!
01:00:04Come back! I've got the world's bluest balls!
01:00:08Ha, ha, ha.
01:00:14Huh? Where are you going?
01:00:19We have to go.
01:00:20Huh? What about the Amazons?
01:00:22Xandra's in danger. We gotta find Kron's sword and help her before it's too late.
01:00:26Xandra can wait a week or so?
01:00:27What? We can't just let her down.
01:00:29Can't we find another warrior?
01:00:31I don't wanna find another warrior. I want Xandra.
01:00:33Hello? You didn't even wander along in the first place.
01:00:36Just... come!
01:00:38Screw you!
01:00:39I wanna stay here and get laid by some really hot babes.
01:00:42That's the only reason I joined you on your lousy quest.
01:00:45Hmm. Oh, I forgot. You're not on a quest. You're more boring than a yeast infection.
01:00:52Fine. Then stay here.
01:00:56You're such a tool anyway. Huh?
01:01:05Oh, my God. I love that song. I know. I could just do it all day.
01:01:16Oh.
01:01:17Oh.
01:01:17Ow!
01:01:17Ah, fucking damn it! This sucks!
01:01:20Ah!
01:01:32What the hell am I doing here? Ronal, I'm coming!
01:01:45are those real of course i just had to see you
01:01:50since the first time i laid eyes on you i wanted to rub my naked body all over your manly
01:01:56chest
01:01:56forget the silly rules i just gotta have you now boy just a second i'm about to lose control
01:02:18i found you very sexy miss queen but my friend needs me and i have to go what listen just
01:02:25have
01:02:25your girls capture me again on my way back
01:02:27sound the alarm
01:02:32you fat salami pig
01:02:36crazy fucking bitches
01:02:42wait until i hit my hands on you
01:02:45you little fat
01:02:46that should be hot right there
01:02:48come on
01:03:04elvick
01:03:04ee
01:03:08ee
01:03:09ee
01:03:10ee
01:03:10ee
01:03:11ee
01:03:29ee
01:03:30Come on.
01:04:05Well, this must be the first Barbarians.
01:04:15Whoa.
01:04:22Um.
01:04:24Uh, Mr. Kron, sir?
01:04:28I need to borrow your sword for a bit.
01:04:35So light. Whoa.
01:04:39Oh, shit.
01:04:46Uh, yeah. Sorry about that.
01:04:57Zandra?
01:04:59I'm sorry, Ronald.
01:05:01How you've managed to escape my best men is beyond me.
01:05:06But now you show up here.
01:05:07Watch out!
01:05:08Exactly like my shield maiden said you would?
01:05:14My lord, Kron's sword.
01:05:16The only weapon that can ever harm you.
01:05:18Zandra?
01:05:21Excellent.
01:05:22You have served me well.
01:05:26I live to serve you, my lord.
01:05:28What the hell is going on?
01:05:34Now go!
01:05:35Zandra!
01:05:35You little barbarian, have a date with my sorcerer.
01:05:48Zandra...
01:05:55My senses say that Ronal is in great danger.
01:05:58We're fucked.
01:06:04Deal with him what you must, sorcerer.
01:06:08With pleasure, my lord.
01:06:23There you go.
01:06:25No, no, no!
01:06:32Finally.
01:06:34Mighty Zal, hear your humble servant.
01:06:38The blood of Kron's sons await you.
01:06:41Open the doors to your mighty temple.
01:06:45I am your, I am your now.
01:06:52Baby, what's going on here?
01:06:54Only once, every 10,000 years, is it possible for Zal, the god of the Zikinis, to contact our world.
01:07:06I'm bringing him the ultimate sacrifice.
01:07:09The sons of Kron, the warrior who sent him into the exile of the hereafter.
01:07:15As my reward, he will give me his divine power.
01:07:19Everybody will obey me!
01:07:23Hard die!
01:07:36Shit, how are we gonna get past these dudes?
01:07:38May we fly like the seeds of dandelions?
01:07:46Let's go.
01:08:34Let's go.
01:08:40Move it, you skinny bitch.
01:08:44Ronald, what's happening, man?
01:08:46What you do with Gronsword?
01:08:47It's down there on that altar.
01:08:48It's too late.
01:08:49There's nothing we can do.
01:08:50Get out of here.
01:08:53Oh, no.
01:09:03Chain them up.
01:09:05Make sure they make it tight.
01:09:06Don't worry, please.
01:09:08Relax like that.
01:09:09Tighter.
01:09:09I won't be happy till I hear them squeal like pigs.
01:09:17Mighty, Zal.
01:09:19Receive this offering of the blood of the sons of Kron.
01:09:23Bless us with your darkness.
01:09:25Bless us.
01:09:27Soon, I will be mightier than a god.
01:09:31And you will be my immortal queen for all eternity.
01:09:46Hey, what are you doing in here?
01:09:50I...
01:09:51Kill him.
01:09:52All right.
01:09:52No, no, wait.
01:09:54Um, Master Aliburt.
01:09:57The, uh, bard.
01:09:58I'm with the band, you know, for the party.
01:10:02Um, a cult ritual.
01:10:04Let me tell you a ditty I wrote.
01:10:06Ahem.
01:10:07Your leather clothes, they turn me on.
01:10:10And the way you shake your ass, it makes me hard.
01:10:14Let's dance tonight until the morning.
01:10:18Baby, I really wanna hold your hand.
01:10:23That's so fucking lame.
01:10:25Oh, well.
01:10:27Adios.
01:10:27Hey, stop.
01:10:28Come back here, you stupid shit.
01:10:31Blah.
01:10:33Let the chosen one step forward.
01:10:49Hey, Rony.
01:10:51Kron's sword.
01:10:52Okay, I'll free you.
01:10:53Hurry up.
01:10:53We gotta free the others.
01:10:54I'll try it, man.
01:10:57What the hell?
01:10:59Oh, my God.
01:11:00Would you believe this shit?
01:11:02Are you for real, man?
01:11:05Drop it, sweet cheeks.
01:11:06Your ass is mine.
01:11:08God, you're just insulting me now.
01:11:10Just put it down before I whip your ass over.
01:11:17Hey, why don't you chain yourself back up?
01:11:27What the fuck?
01:11:28Oh, sorry.
01:11:30What?
01:11:47Motherfucker, I've been so wanting to do this.
01:11:50Yeah.
01:12:06Kill them!
01:12:07But...
01:12:09Order!
01:12:10Xandra!
01:12:11You belong to me, Shield Maiden!
01:12:14Don't ever forget that!
01:12:16Yes, my lord.
01:12:23Yeah!
01:12:26Ronald!
01:12:27Xandra, you don't have to do this!
01:12:29Fulkasar beat me in a duel!
01:12:31It's my destiny!
01:12:44Xandra, it's me!
01:12:47You've completely freaking lost it!
01:12:49Is it really your destiny to kill the only person who actually cares about you just because
01:12:55some ironclad madman beat you in a fight?
01:12:58Is it?
01:13:04Watch out!
01:13:06Ronald!
01:13:10Xandra.
01:13:29You must drink the blood!
01:13:30There's no time left!
01:13:31I'm your captain!
01:13:32I'm your captain!
01:13:36Let's go!
01:13:37In every last drop!
01:13:39Ha, ha, ha!
01:13:43Yes!
01:13:44Oh, shit!
01:13:45Move!
01:13:48Die!
01:13:54No!
01:14:19Darkness will rise in Macaronia!
01:14:24The sounds of terror will rise towards the sky!
01:14:30All shall bow to me, or die!
01:14:40No!
01:14:51Oh, fuck!
01:14:59Kron Saga!
01:15:00Kron, he pulled his mighty sword and thrust with all his strength, the sword into Zikidi's skull, which cracked along
01:15:05its length!
01:15:06What?
01:15:06You have to hit him in the forehead with Kron's sword!
01:15:09It's his weak point, man!
01:15:13That's just impossible.
01:15:21Ronald, you have to get out of here!
01:15:24Go!
01:15:24Save yourself!
01:15:26What are you talking about?
01:15:27Damn it!
01:15:27This is no place for you!
01:15:29Beat it!
01:15:30No!
01:15:32I'm done being a pussy!
01:15:34Ronald!
01:15:38You better not give me any shit!
01:15:45Yeah, way to go!
01:15:46Stab his forehead!
01:15:50No forehead!
01:15:52Do you wanna fucking try this?
01:16:05He's gonna get himself fucking killed!
01:16:13May I aim with the eyes of a hawk for my arrow to fly with wings?
01:16:20Gah!
01:16:23Gah!
01:16:24Gah!
01:16:25Gah!
01:16:26Gah!
01:16:26Spilly-a-no-weasers-shit!
01:16:30Gah!
01:16:32Gah!
01:16:35Gah!
01:16:37Gah!
01:16:37Gah!
01:16:38Gah!
01:16:39Gah!
01:16:40Gah!
01:16:41Gah!
01:16:42Gah!
01:16:42I got you, you little prick!
01:16:44Gah!
01:16:45Gah!
01:16:46Eat my loot!
01:16:48Ouch!
01:17:00No!
01:17:05No!
01:17:07Ooh!
01:17:10No, no, no, no!
01:17:16Huh?
01:17:21Zedra?
01:17:22My queen!
01:17:24Kill this flea for me!
01:17:34Now!
01:17:36What are you doing, Shieldmaiden?
01:17:39Your destiny is to serve me!
01:17:42No! It's over!
01:17:44Really?
01:17:44Then you must die!
01:17:56Zedra!
01:17:59Zedra!
01:17:59Okay, Shrine!
01:18:00Let's show them how we barbarians really fight!
01:18:10Zorak!
01:18:10Ha ha ha!
01:18:17It's okay, guys!
01:18:18I got them under control!
01:18:20Kill them!
01:18:20No!
01:18:24I. Am. Invencible!
01:18:39What the fuck?!
01:18:40This one's for Gundar!
01:18:52Mwahahahaha!
01:19:04Lord!
01:19:10Holy shit! My g-string hasn't been this high in years!
01:19:15Ronald!
01:19:23Ronald!
01:19:28Oh no!
01:19:44Here lies, Ronald. The bestest barbarian who ever lived.
01:20:04I. Am, Ronald.
01:20:11What are you staring at?
01:20:13He's alive? Ronald's alive? Praise God!
01:20:16Oh, this is amazing! I mean I never heard him.
01:20:19I sense...
01:20:20...l'amour!
01:20:23Young Glove!
01:20:29We don't have to fight a duel now, do we?
01:20:31No.
01:20:33You've already conquered my heart, Rona.
01:20:40Oh, this is cheesy!
01:20:42Get along!
01:20:43The party!
01:20:44Beers and paint! Beers and paint!
01:20:47Beers and paint!
01:20:49Beers and paint!
01:20:51Cheers, everyone!
01:20:53Trap! Trap! Trap! Trap! Trap! Trap!
01:20:56Wanna see something nasty?
01:21:02Yes!
01:21:04Oh, that's good.
01:21:05I sense a really big tightness in your groin.
01:21:08Yeah, we'll try being strapped to a leather cross for a week.
01:21:12Everyone shut up! I got something important to say!
01:21:16It's Rona! The ballsiest barbarian!
01:21:22Cheers!
01:21:24But you still drink like a pussy!
01:21:26Fucking barbarians!
01:21:28We're good dogs!
01:21:30Cheers, guys!
01:21:35Cheers, guys!
01:21:37Cheers!
01:21:47The bonesiest!
01:21:51Right!
01:21:53You had a glorified voice off your ass...
01:21:58He wasn't pierced at all
01:22:03Oh, he was a geek boy
01:22:07With a chest so small
01:22:10Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
01:22:23Big balls!
01:22:26Harry balls!
01:22:28Hard balls!
01:22:29Hot beans!
01:22:30Hairy beans!
01:22:32Yummy beans!
01:22:33Yummy beans!
01:22:34Yummy boys!
01:22:35And oily muscles too!
01:22:42RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:22:48RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:22:51RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:22:53RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:22:59RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:01RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:04RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:05RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:06RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:08RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:09RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:10RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:12RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:14RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:20RONO the Bavarian Heroes!
01:23:36We'll keep on fighting
01:23:39Muscles are shining
01:23:42We are the champions
01:23:49Thunder
01:23:51And lightning
01:23:52Actions are frightening
01:23:55Fighting with balls
01:23:58And thongs
01:24:01We are together
01:24:05All trusted leather
01:24:08All pits are waxed
01:24:11And we're perfectly tanned
01:24:14We have pierced our nipples
01:24:17Okay
01:24:19We have to
01:25:13Outro Music
01:25:31Outro Music
01:25:56Outro Music
01:25:57Outro Music
01:25:58Outro Music
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