00:06The End
00:30How do you do?
00:32I stopped for tea the other day, in one of the fashionable restaurants,
00:36patronized by all the nice old ladies.
00:39You know, the type, talk about their best friend all the time.
00:43I never say anything but.
00:46Two of them sat at the next table, and they were discussing their very best friends.
00:50This was the conversation.
00:52What ever happened to Mary Brown?
00:56Haven't you heard?
00:57My dear, she's been married, divorced and married.
01:02She'll be divorced and married again.
01:05You know, her very jealous husband thought she went a bit too far.
01:08Because she kept a chauffeur, she never had a car.
01:13He named the chap as correspondent, and mentioned half a dozen other men.
01:18Now, things look bad for Mary, but she just said, oh fudge.
01:21Because she knew the jury.
01:23My dear, she knew the judge.
01:25She's been married, divorced and married.
01:28She'll be divorced and married again.
01:31Oh, she's been married, divorced and married.
01:34My dear, she'll be divorced and married again.
01:37You know, she got a job as showgirl, in a Broadway beauty show.
01:41She always tried to show too much.
01:45That's why they let her go.
01:47Her new affair?
01:49Oh, my dear, it's very proper.
01:50The man's a big butter and egg man.
01:53So they say.
01:54Each night they go out dancing, have the best time of their life.
01:59When are they going to be married?
02:01My dear, the man has a wife.
02:04She's been married, divorced and married.
02:06I hate to talk about her, but she'll be divorced and married again.
02:26I was satisfied to live and die in a little world where life was all a brain.
02:39Changed to see and Isa!
02:41There were you in a world I never knew.
02:46Suddenly, we met and everything was changed.
02:53All of my life I did without you.
02:58And now I can't do without you
03:06All my life I never missed you
03:12Until I kissed you
03:17I never missed you
03:21All through life I went and thought that I was meant
03:28To live and be content without you
03:35Then I put my arms about you
03:43And now I can't do without you
03:56Life, life is like a horse race
03:58Each has an equal start
04:01Some carry a heavy handicap in the form of an aching heart
04:07My post position was number one
04:09My course was straight and true
04:11My head was high
04:12For my jockey was love
04:15And my running mate
04:18Was you
04:19We ran the race in record time
04:22And finished side by side
04:24Our goal was then our happy home
04:27And you
04:29My blushing bride
04:31While the rains of love were sweet to me
04:34You balked at yours and so
04:36You broke away from the hitching post
04:39And I
04:40I let you go
04:43They tell me you are broken
04:45Your racing days are through
04:48But there is still another race to run
04:51No other entry
04:53But you
04:55I am waiting now at the finishing post
04:57Where the course is straight and free
04:59Watching for you to round the bend
05:02Down the home stretch
05:05Home to me
05:08All my life
05:12I did without you
05:14And now I can't do
05:21Without you
05:30Oh that was lovely
05:32Did you like that?
05:33Oh I certainly
05:33I was singing that song about you
05:35Oh well that's just marvelous
05:36Won't you sing it again?
05:37Oh really
05:38I can't sing this song again
05:39The ladies and gentlemen
05:40Have heard me sing this song
05:41Oh that's alright
05:42It's raining outside dear
05:43And they have nowhere to go
05:44You sing it for me
05:45Really?
05:45Very well
05:46Then I'll sing something
05:47That you may like
05:49Together
05:50Together
05:53Always together
05:54I get paid for this
05:58Through every storm and strife
06:02Oh dear I think your voice is out of tune
06:04Together
06:06Together
06:08Needless of weather
06:10Keep your mind on the song
06:15What are you trying to do?
06:17Make a fool out of me
06:18If I am
06:18I'm a little late
06:22Why don't you be nice?
06:24Give me a little kiss
06:25No if I give you one
06:26You'll want two
06:28No I won't
06:29You won't?
06:29No
06:30Then you don't get any
06:33I'm no fool
06:34Listen I'm not so bad
06:36No
06:36You notice how all the girls
06:38Smile at me
06:39When we're out in the crowd?
06:40That's nothing
06:41The first time I saw you
06:42I laughed out loud
06:46Ladies and gentlemen
06:47For our next number
06:49We will offer a little satire on marriage
06:53First
06:53Their wedding day
07:14Well
07:15The time has come
07:20Are you happy?
07:25I can be happy
07:28I can be sad
07:30I can be good
07:33Or I can be bad
07:36It all depends on you
07:44I can be lonely
07:46Out in a crowd
07:48I can be humble
07:51I can be proud
07:53It all depends on you
07:59You great big gorgeous man
08:03Please save your money darling
08:06Don't spend it
08:08Don't buy me any presents
08:10And never lend it
08:12And we'll have the cottage
08:14Just meant for two
08:21I'll never scold you
08:23And I'll always be true
08:27But when I leave you alone
08:30What will you do?
08:33Let all depend on you
08:46Five years later
08:51What's the trouble?
08:52Why are you sad?
08:54Because I'm sick of you
08:54And I'm good and mad
08:55And I'm tired of
08:56Mending pants for you
08:58You used to speak softly
09:00Now you talk loud
09:02I stay at home
09:02And you're out with a crowd
09:03You're never off the streets
09:04You big loaper
09:05What do you do with your money?
09:06You don't lend it
09:06And goodness knows
09:07It isn't on me you ever spend it
09:08What have you got to say for yourself?
09:09Don't tell me
09:11Before we were married
09:13You called me your fairy prince
09:16Yes
09:16And I've called you
09:17A lot of other things ever since
09:19You promised me
09:21That you'd be true
09:23Yes, I promised
09:24But I didn't say to who
09:25But who?
09:26Well, that all depends on you
09:28I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good
09:35and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm
09:35good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and
09:35I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good
09:35and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm
09:35good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and
09:36I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good
09:36and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm good and I'm
09:36good and I'm good and I
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