The Admiral Was a Lady (1950) – Lighthearted Post‑War Romantic Comedy of Vets, Schemes & Second Chances - video Dailymotion

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The Admiral Was a Lady (1950) is an American romantic comedy directed by Albert S. Rogell, starring Edmond O’Brien, Wanda Hendrix, and Rudy Vallée. Set just after World War II, the story follows Jean Madison, a former WAVE officer who becomes entangled with four unemployed ex‑GIs living off their wits and the 52‑20 Club benefits program. Nicknamed “The Admiral,” Jean is swept into their improvised lifestyle of repurposed war‑surplus furniture, odd jobs, and elaborate schemes. Complications arise when a jukebox magnate pressures the men to keep Jean in town long enough to prevent her fiancé from marrying his ex‑wife. The film blends screwball antics with post‑war themes of adjustment, friendship, and unexpected romance.   Film Details Year: 1950 Genre: Romantic Comedy Director: Albert S. Rogell Writers: John O’Dea, Sidney Salkow Produced by: Albert S. Rogell, Jack M. Warner, Edward Lewis Starring: Edmond O’Brien, Wanda Hendrix, Rudy Vallée, Johnny Sands, Steve Brodie, Richard Erdman Cinematography: Stanley Cortez Edited by: William H. Ziegler Music: Edward J. Kay Studio: Roxbury Productions Distributed by: United Artists Release Dates: August 3, 1950 (Los Angeles); October 12, 1950 (New York) Runtime: 87 minutes Country: United States Language: English   #TheAdmiralWasALady1950 #RomanticComedy #EdmondOBrien #WandaHendrix #RudyVallee #AlbertSRogell #UnitedArtists #PostWarCinema #1950sMovies #ClassicComedy

Transcript

00:00:17You and I can share the moonlit hours

00:00:24Everything that's wonderful is ours

00:00:30Spring that brings the rainbow-colored flowers

00:00:35Everything that's wonderful is ours

00:00:41A tender love, a dream, a heart to cling to

00:00:47Someone to sing to

00:00:50This love I bring for you is ours to share

00:00:57For everything that's wonderful is yours

00:01:02And mine

00:01:12Oh, this is the end

00:01:15You're cockeyed, pal. This is only the beginning

00:01:19Come on, cheer up

00:01:21And I'll prove to you that every cloud has a silver lining

00:01:24Let's go back about a hundred years ago

00:01:26But a lot of folks, including my grandpa and grandma, started west

00:01:30You know, if they hadn't made that trip

00:01:33The Admiral's path and mine might never have crossed

00:01:36Then, in 1876, General Custer made a stand

00:01:40My grandpa stood alongside of them

00:01:42Well, for a little while, anyway

00:01:46And if the Indians hadn't won that battle

00:01:48Grandma would have gone back east

00:01:49And the Admiral and I would never have tangled

00:01:53San Francisco, 1906

00:01:56Yes, sir, it's an ill wind that blows nobody good

00:02:00It took an earthquake and a fire to keep my mother and dad in California

00:02:04So that someday, I might get to meet the Admiral

00:02:08Comes 1917, and our boys shove off for France

00:02:14My dad went along with them

00:02:15To fight the war, to end all wars

00:02:19Then comes victory

00:02:20And they come back loaded with souvenirs and memories

00:02:26Yes, sir, it was fate

00:02:28About the Admiral and I

00:02:31Comes 1945

00:02:33The big war is over

00:02:34And the lady with the light says

00:02:37Welcome home

00:02:39To Uncle Sam's ten million nephews

00:02:41Welcome home

00:02:43To Stateside

00:02:45Ten million homesick, happy G.I.s

00:02:48My pals and I are among them

00:02:50The shooting has stopped

00:02:52But the shouting is still going on

00:02:54We're home

00:02:55Back to ration gas

00:02:57Synthetic rubber

00:02:58And meat shortages

00:02:59But it doesn't take long

00:03:01For the country to appear normal once more

00:03:03From the east coast

00:03:04To the west coast

00:03:05But it does take some of us servicemen

00:03:08A little longer

00:03:09To get readjusted

00:03:10So, in recognition of this problem

00:03:12Our uncle organizes the 52-20 club

00:03:15Which means that a veteran

00:03:17Can draw 20 bucks a week for 52 weeks

00:03:19Sort of a basic training for civilian life

00:03:22Well, the four of us are making our weekly call

00:03:24Following our regular schedule

00:03:26When into our lives comes trouble

00:03:30Pardon me, little lady

00:03:31But you're in the wrong line

00:03:32This line is for vets

00:03:34Oh, are you a horse doctor?

00:03:37Fung

00:03:39Social security for unemployed comics

00:03:41Is right over there

00:03:42I was an ensign in the waves

00:03:44Oh, well, well

00:03:45Brass, brass

00:03:46Uh-uh

00:03:47Sorry, Admiral

00:03:48No smoking in here

00:03:49Oh, you policed the area, too

00:03:51That's right

00:03:52That's right

00:03:52And, uh, you're holding up the line

00:03:55Next

00:04:00Jean Madison

00:04:01You won't be seeing me anymore

00:04:02I'm leaving town

00:04:03You worked in the past seven days?

00:04:05No

00:04:05Refused employment?

00:04:06No

00:04:06Able and available?

00:04:07Yes

00:04:08Sign here

00:04:12There you are

00:04:13Here

00:04:14You're a duffel bag, Admiral

00:04:16Or is it Mr. and the Navy?

00:04:17It's Miss

00:04:18As in hit or miss

00:04:25Next

00:04:29Jimmy Stevens

00:04:30Hi, Ethel, how are you?

00:04:32Ethel, I've been worried about you

00:04:33Yeah, why?

00:04:34I was afraid you might have been trapped

00:04:35Into getting a job

00:04:36We know

00:04:36Is your company still intact?

00:04:38All present accounted for

00:04:39Front and center men

00:04:40Eddie Hart

00:04:41How's it going, Eddie?

00:04:42Swell, Ethel

00:04:42I'll have a Benelli

00:04:43And I ain't working about it

00:04:44Yes, I'm sure you haven't, Ollie

00:04:45Michael O'Hallahan

00:04:46Something tells me you're Irish

00:04:49Well

00:04:50Have you worked in the past seven days?

00:04:52No

00:04:52Have you refused employment?

00:04:54No

00:04:54Able and available?

00:04:55We're trying, Ethel

00:04:56Exhibit A, Eddie

00:04:57Look at this classified ad

00:04:59At liberty

00:05:00Combat crew

00:05:01Four specialists

00:05:03Eager and willing

00:05:04To drop bombs

00:05:05Write box 109

00:05:07Give references

00:05:08Do you mean to say

00:05:09No one's answer, Dan

00:05:09Nope

00:05:10Haven't had a nibble

00:05:10In three months

00:05:11I just can't understand it

00:05:12So, uh

00:05:13Make with the checks, Ethel

00:05:15Well

00:05:16There's one question

00:05:17I have to ask you first

00:05:18Huh?

00:05:19Yes, what's this?

00:05:20Something new?

00:05:21Will all four of you marry me?

00:05:23Oh, Ethel

00:05:23You're a saint

00:05:24Just name the day, baby

00:05:25See you next week

00:05:26Yeah, I'll see you, baby

00:05:27Hey, don't forget those

00:05:28Bye, Ethel

00:05:30Here we have a look

00:05:30Hello

00:05:32Eth, Eth

00:05:36Uh-oh

00:05:37Admiral

00:05:38This time you're really

00:05:39In the wrong line

00:05:40Why?

00:05:41It says they cash checks

00:05:42But they bleed you for 10 cents

00:05:43Jimmy can save you that day

00:05:44I'm in a hurry

00:05:45I have to make an important phone call

00:05:47Which brings the cost of your phone call

00:05:48To 15 cents

00:05:4910 cents to get the nickel

00:05:50And a nickel for the nickel to call

00:05:52Of course, if you're so rich

00:05:53Of course I'm not

00:05:54But any place to charge you for service

00:05:56Oh, no

00:05:56Jimmy's got an angle

00:05:57Yeah, that's fun, too

00:05:58Oh, I suppose they pay you

00:05:59For the honor of cashing your check

00:06:01That's right

00:06:01A big round quarter for each check

00:06:03This I want to see

00:06:05Fall in

00:06:06Come on

00:06:12Ah, here we are

00:06:18Want you to meet my banker

00:06:20Charming fellow

00:06:21Came up the hardware

00:06:21Used a rope ladder

00:06:33It's been a pleasure to serve you

00:06:35Mrs. Fenevesi

00:06:36Good morning

00:06:36Oh, no

00:06:37I knew I should have gone on sick leave today

00:06:40I hope I'm not disturbing you

00:06:41My good man

00:06:42My name is Gene

00:06:43Don't tell me

00:06:43I still have your old signature cards

00:06:46And you're opening four new accounts

00:06:48With $20 checks

00:06:49Five

00:06:50What are you doing?

00:06:52Recruiting?

00:06:53Now, if you'll just fill out your personal history

00:06:54For the First National's information

00:06:56I have

00:06:57And yours

00:06:58And mine

00:06:59Name

00:07:00Gene

00:07:02Madison

00:07:05Age

00:07:07Six

00:07:09Female

00:07:11Married a single

00:07:12Single

00:07:15Engaged

00:07:16Wow

00:07:17A genuine diamond

00:07:19And you was worrying about a dime

00:07:21I wasn't

00:07:22He was

00:07:23And besides

00:07:25Henry's ring doesn't represent money to me

00:07:27Henry, huh?

00:07:29Mm-hmm

00:07:31We're going to be married

00:07:32Uh-huh

00:07:33It figures

00:07:34Your checks, please

00:07:35And we will avoid the usual bookkeeping

00:07:37There we are

00:07:38Admiral

00:07:40There

00:07:41Oh, wait a minute

00:07:42Where are the piggy banks that go with the new accounts?

00:07:44What's the First National trying to do?

00:07:45Cheat us?

00:07:45Come on

00:07:46Come on

00:07:46We've got a sign, sir

00:07:47That's better

00:07:48Fire it on

00:07:49That's it

00:07:50Oh, oh, excuse me

00:07:51You wouldn't want this one

00:07:52The paint is microscopically scratched

00:07:55Oh

00:07:56Give us another one

00:07:57That's better

00:07:58And now

00:07:59You'll want to close your accounts

00:08:00I presume

00:08:01Nice presuming

00:08:02Five twenties will do it

00:08:03Do you mind if they wrinkle this time?

00:08:05No, no

00:08:06Not at all

00:08:06Thank you

00:08:07Admiral

00:08:08Thank you and

00:08:09Good morning

00:08:10Come on

00:08:11Wait a minute

00:08:12Where's the twenty-five-cent dividend?

00:08:15Oh, patience, Admiral

00:08:15Patience

00:08:16Come on

00:08:17But I still need a nickel for the phone call

00:08:19Now, why spend a nickel for a phone call?

00:08:21I can get it for your wholesale

00:08:22Oh

00:08:25Hiya, Benny, how are you?

00:08:26Jimmy?

00:08:26What's that for you?

00:08:27Yeah

00:08:27I've been waiting for you

00:08:29I sold out last week's banks already yesterday

00:08:31Look, nothing

00:08:33Well, you're in business again

00:08:34Five today

00:08:35Five quarters, my benign friend

00:08:36Five?

00:08:37Is this what you call inflation?

00:08:39No, no

00:08:40It's, shall we say, an unusual day, Benny

00:08:42And it's an unusual demand

00:08:44You've built up for pigs with the neighborhood kids

00:08:46Yeah

00:08:46Nothing but banks they want all of a sudden

00:08:48How do you do it?

00:08:50Oh, I just tell them if they work hard and save their money

00:08:52They'll grow up and retire and live like us

00:08:54What a philosophy this man lives by

00:08:56Yeah, ain't he terrific

00:08:57I must say you're ambitious

00:08:59You think so?

00:08:59Most men would accept their twenty dollars a week and relax

00:09:02But not you

00:09:03You go out and make another quarter

00:09:05And one for you

00:09:07I still need a nickel for the phone

00:09:09Uh-uh

00:09:10You know, you'd like cigars with dollar bills if I'd let you

00:09:12Benny

00:09:13Hmm?

00:09:13Um

00:09:14Socrates once said

00:09:15He is not only idle who does nothing

00:09:17He is also idle who might be better employed

00:09:19I ain't idle, oldie

00:09:20I ain't idle

00:09:21No, no

00:09:22But your phone is

00:09:24Do you realize, Benny

00:09:25That somewhere someone is waiting for their phone to ring?

00:09:28They sit and wait and wait

00:09:29And nothing happens

00:09:30Just silence

00:09:31And there's your phone sitting there

00:09:33I do

00:09:34Never thought of it that way

00:09:36Well, come on

00:09:36Let's spread some happiness around

00:09:38Oh, but I wouldn't want to

00:09:39No, go ahead, lady

00:09:40Please

00:09:41We've got to spread joy

00:09:42But no long distance, joy

00:09:44Keep the joy local

00:09:49I'm sorry

00:09:50Do you mind?

00:09:51Oh, it's quite all right

00:09:52Benny, Benny

00:09:53She means she'd like some privacy

00:09:54Come on

00:10:01Hello

00:10:01Is this Mr. Marlowe's secretary?

00:10:04Oh, yes

00:10:05It's me again

00:10:06I'm sorry to bother you

00:10:07But

00:10:08Well, I had to check out the Carton Hotel today

00:10:11And I'll have to go back to Waller Waller

00:10:13Unless

00:10:13Poor kid's broke

00:10:15What?

00:10:18You say you've heard from Henry

00:10:20Well, isn't it wonderful they've heard from Henry?

00:10:23Well, it's a small world

00:10:24Oh, excuse me

00:10:26I was just talking to some crazy people

00:10:28Who've been wonderful to me

00:10:29Oh, where did Henry

00:10:30I mean, Mr. Marlowe said he wanted me to meet him

00:10:36What?

00:10:39Oh, there must be some mistake

00:10:43Well, I've been waiting here for him for two weeks

00:10:51Well, didn't he even ask about me?

00:10:57Didn't he even mention my name?

00:11:02Oh, didn't he even say where he is?

00:11:08He stood up, huh?

00:11:10Yeah

00:11:10Jimmy, there's no joy there

00:11:12Maybe she got the wrong number

00:11:16When he does get back

00:11:18Tell him I've gone to Waller Waller

00:11:22Of course they have telephones in Waller Waller

00:11:32Hey, the doll's crying

00:11:34Poor kid

00:11:35It's kind of tough when you're in love

00:11:36When things go wrong

00:11:37Gee, it does something to me

00:11:39When I see a girl cry

00:11:40I'd like to get my hands on that dirty stinker just once

00:11:43What kind of a guy

00:11:44I'd brush off a nice kid like that

00:11:45Here she comes

00:11:47Ollie, get the limousine and pick us up

00:11:49Roger

00:11:54Excuse me

00:12:00Hi, hi, you boys have been very kind

00:12:12Thanks a lot

00:12:15Bye

00:12:18Look, is it all right if I find this Henry character and muss him up just a little bit, huh?

00:12:22Oh, then you overheard

00:12:23We couldn't help listening in

00:12:25Oh, that's all right

00:12:26You mustn't think I'm upset

00:12:28Sure, we understand

00:12:29Look, we'll drop you off at the airport, the depot, or the camel barns, whichever way you get to Waller

00:12:34Waller

00:12:35Well, it's the bus station, but my bus doesn't leave until 5 o'clock

00:12:37Not until 5 o'clock

00:12:38Hey, she can spend the rest of the day with us, watch us work, huh?

00:12:41Sure, not work

00:12:42Are you drawing money from the government because you're not working?

00:12:45Oh, we wouldn't work for money

00:12:46No, that would not be legal

00:12:47We're working out the payment on this

00:12:49Come on, how about it?

00:12:53Well, they can really want that

00:12:54Sure, we do

00:12:55Hey, here comes our limousine

00:12:58Taxi? Taxi, mister?

00:12:59Allow me

00:13:02That belongs to you?

00:13:03No, no, we just use it to get around to our abortions

00:13:05Ready for the take-off

00:13:06Right, go, man

00:13:08Up you go

00:13:10Contact, darling

00:13:18Why don't you look where you're going, you stupid josh?

00:13:21Shit!

00:13:22Why don't you know that it's for a taxi?

00:13:23Follow that truck

00:13:37Well, music and everything, huh?

00:13:41Eddie hasn't played that song for a long time

00:13:43Ah, I guess you made him take a Lois

00:13:46Lois?

00:13:47Yeah, the girl Eddie's in love with

00:13:49Oh, he's in love too

00:13:51Yeah, but she don't even know he's alive

00:13:53You see, when we...

00:13:54Stop writing a book, Mike

00:13:55Hey, Admiral, tell us about Henry

00:13:56Where'd you meet him?

00:13:58Pearl Harbor

00:13:59Army and Navy

00:14:00U.S.O.

00:14:03Oh, Henry's wonderful

00:14:04He's, uh, he's charming and talented and ambitious

00:14:08And overconfident

00:14:09Let a girl like you run around loose

00:14:11I'm not loose

00:14:12He's busy in Paris putting a show together

00:14:15Paris, eh?

00:14:16I got busy in Paris once

00:14:17Just to make it

00:14:18Okay, Ollie, okay

00:14:21Approaching the target

00:14:22And ready for the run, man

00:14:24Here we go, bombs away

00:14:27Yes, folks, however you like the music

00:14:28You can't go wrong if you go to Wright's Music Store

00:14:31House of Happy Harmony

00:14:34Handsome radio photograph combinations

00:14:36Lightweight portable radios

00:14:37And records to suit your every move

00:14:40Go right to Wright's

00:14:41Where the price is right

00:14:42The records are right

00:14:43And Wright is right

00:14:44You'll be right if you go to Wright's

00:14:48Is that right?

00:14:49That's right

00:14:49What a gift I get

00:14:51How long do you four grown men have to do that for this silly little radio?

00:14:56A year

00:14:57A whole year?

00:14:58Yeah, but that also includes a broken-down piano in our den, don't forget

00:15:01Oh, I'll try hard to remember

00:15:03And more important, it provides us with five gallons of gas per day

00:15:07And wheels

00:15:09I'm so glad that you boys don't have to depend upon a common street car

00:15:12Oh, no, no, they cost money

00:15:14Okay, Ollie, full throttle

00:15:15Proceed to rendezvous

00:15:28Roger

00:15:29Hey, Clarence, how are you?

00:15:31Thank you, sir

00:15:32There we go

00:15:33How do you like the place?

00:15:39Yes, sir

00:15:41Well, how do I get in?

00:15:42You apply to the board for membership

00:15:44Which I understand requires you to pass a blood test

00:15:47If the results are favorable

00:15:49You are then permitted to pay $5,000 to get in

00:15:52Where can I invest five cents in a phone call?

00:15:56The public phone is over there

00:15:58Thanks

00:16:05I don't know what they're doing, Mr. Pettigrew

00:16:07They won't let me in

00:16:10Yes, sir, Mr. Pettigrew

00:16:11The same ones I called you about this morning

00:16:14You can depend on me, Mr. Pettigrew

00:16:17Yes, sir

00:16:28There has to be a catch to this somewhere

00:16:30How can you afford it?

00:16:32We can't afford it, it's free

00:16:35I should have guessed

00:16:36Yeah, you see, once a week Mike relieves the lifeguard

00:16:39We take over

00:16:40Well, here's our lunch

00:16:45Hey, Jimmy, what about lunch for the Admiral?

00:16:48The secretary said you sold me to him for one cabana

00:16:50Four free admissions, four cold lunches, and four cokes, and that's all

00:16:53Buy another box lunch

00:16:55Buy one?

00:16:56Are you trying to give Jimmy ulters?

00:16:58I like your spirit, Admiral

00:16:59You can share our lunch

00:17:01I'll share yours

00:17:02I'm not going to take the food out of Mike's mouth

00:17:04He's the one that does the work

00:17:05Well, it's not much work

00:17:07As a matter of fact, I can't even swim

00:17:08Can't swim?

00:17:10I can't even float

00:17:11I've got a lot of wings, he can float

00:17:12But this isn't funny

00:17:14All those people feel safe because they think you can save him

00:17:16Shh, the secretary might hear

00:17:18I hope he does before somebody starts drowning

00:17:21Shh, pipe down, Admiral

00:17:22Now, nobody's drowning

00:17:23And even if they were, we've got Ollie

00:17:25I personally have seen Ollie pull five tired G.I.s out of the English chapter

00:17:30Then why isn't he the like?

00:17:32Oh, Admiral, Admiral, you just don't understand selling, my dear younger

00:17:36Now, take a look at Mike

00:17:38And then take a look at Ollie

00:17:43What's it?

00:17:44What's coming from over there?

00:17:49Where's the telephone?

00:17:52Funny, it's never run here before

00:17:54Hey, maybe the secretary heard the Admiral sound at all

00:17:58Well, aren't you going to answer it?

00:18:00I guess so

00:18:02Something tells me I'm making a mistake

00:18:05Well, here goes

00:18:08Hello?

00:18:11I made a mistake

00:18:12The State Employment Service, how did they trace us here?

00:18:15Jobs

00:18:17Who?

00:18:19Peter Pettigrew, the jukebox king

00:18:21Well, what does he want with a combat crew?

00:18:23Have you boys been putting slugs in his machine?

00:18:26Well, all right, tell them we'll be right down there

00:18:28It looks like they got us

00:18:29What do we do?

00:18:30Now, calm down, men, calm down

00:18:32Don't worry, I'll discourage them

00:18:34But maybe they're good jobs

00:18:36Well, what difference does that make?

00:18:37You mean you don't want any jobs at all?

00:18:39We can't afford to work

00:18:40Mike, you better go with me, I may need protection

00:18:42Any man who offers us a job can't be trusted

00:18:45Jimmy, remember what your old pal Socrates said

00:18:47He is not only I

00:18:49Yes, but don't forget he died saying

00:18:50Now, you fellas can see how to the bus, can't you?

00:18:53Yeah, sure, Jimmy

00:18:53Well, kiss Walla Walla for me

00:18:59Hey, that was good

00:19:02Kiss Henry for me

00:19:03Oh, how could such a nice fella be so

00:19:11Useless and irresponsible

00:19:28Uh-uh, looks like a rough landing, Mike

00:19:30Yeah

00:19:30Now, you got it?

00:19:31The same as Operation X-2

00:19:32Use them in a drawer, they're fired

00:19:33I'll hold them off as long as I can

00:19:35But if I need your help, I'll give you the signal

00:19:36And I'll come in full throttle

00:19:37Roger

00:19:42Yes?

00:19:42My name is James Stevens

00:19:43Oh, yes, go right in, won't you?

00:19:45Thank you

00:19:52You know, you look just like a detective

00:20:02Mr. Stevens

00:20:03That's right

00:20:06I presume you've heard of me

00:20:07I'm Peter Pettigrew, the jukebox king

00:20:09Shall I kneel?

00:20:10No, you may sit down

00:20:11Oh, thank you

00:20:12Have a cigar?

00:20:13Don't mind if I do

00:20:15You know, there's an ugly rumor circulating around

00:20:17That you're in need of some hired help

00:20:19It is not a rumor, Mr. Stevens

00:20:20And your assumed uncouth attitude

00:20:22Does not upset me in the least

00:20:24Thank you

00:20:25Where's the rest of your crew?

00:20:26I take care of them

00:20:27You certainly do

00:20:28I have a report on you

00:20:30When a man of your capabilities

00:20:31Does so much work to avoid work

00:20:33He must have a good reason

00:20:35A darn good reason

00:20:36Such as?

00:20:37Well

00:20:38You see, these three guys were with me when I

00:20:41Well

00:20:43Look, it's none of your business

00:20:44Now, what do you want with a combat crew?

00:20:46I want you to prevent a young lady from leaving town

00:20:48A girl named Jean Madison

00:20:50The Admiral?

00:20:51And you need a combat crew to help you?

00:20:53Have you seen this little girl?

00:20:55She comes up to hear on me

00:20:56My detectives say to hear

00:20:57You see, I've had you trailed ever since this morning

00:21:00When you first got mixed up with her

00:21:01We just got unmixed

00:21:02She's leaving town

00:21:03No, she isn't

00:21:04You're going to keep her here

00:21:05Pettigrew, you're too late

00:21:06The Admiral, uh, Jean

00:21:08I mean, Miss Madison

00:21:09Intends to marry a guy named Henry

00:21:11Sorry

00:21:11And I intend to see that she does

00:21:12Just as soon as my detectives deliver Henry Marlowe tomorrow

00:21:15Look, I don't like this whole thing with detectives

00:21:17And I don't want any part of a plot that might hurt that little kid

00:21:19So, count me out

00:21:21And I have no alternative but to put you to work

00:21:23Work? Work?

00:21:25Did you say work?

00:21:27I did

00:21:28I have a spot in my organization where I could wedge in a combat crew if necessary

00:21:32But the constitution states clearly

00:21:34Permit me to do the same

00:21:35All you have to do to remain unemployed is to keep this young lady with you for 24 hours

00:21:39But according to the GI Bill of Rights

00:21:41That'll get you nowhere

00:21:41According to my watch, you have 17 minutes and 30 seconds to take this young lady off the bus

00:21:45Or go to work

00:21:48He ain't kidding

00:21:49Let's take off

00:21:56Goodbye, Admiral

00:21:56It's been swell knowing you

00:21:57Yeah, good luck

00:21:58Hey, Eddie, Eddie, Olly, Olly

00:22:00The Admiral, the Admiral

00:22:01Where is she?

00:22:02Where is she?

00:22:03What's that?

00:22:03Shut the button

00:22:03What's going on?

00:22:04Come on, Admiral

00:22:05You're not going to wallow up

00:22:06What?

00:22:06What is she?

00:22:07Well, something very important is happening

00:22:08You're just not going to wallow up

00:22:09Hey, hey, you can't put your woman around like that

00:22:11Unless she's your wife

00:22:12I'll go drive your bus

00:22:13What is this?

00:22:14Do you realize you've ruined my nylon?

00:22:16Well, there's something much more important than nylon

00:22:18Nothing is more important than nylon

00:22:19Money can't buy them

00:22:20Besides, this is one of the last three pairs I saved for Henry

00:22:23Henry?

00:22:24Yes, that's it

00:22:25What?

00:22:25Henry

00:22:26Henry what?

00:22:27Well, Henry's coming home tomorrow by playing

00:22:29How do you know?

00:22:30Well, it was a miracle

00:22:32We happened by the purest accident

00:22:33To be in the lobby of the Carlton Hotel

00:22:35And you were paid

00:22:37You know

00:22:38Call for Phil

00:22:38I mean

00:22:40Overseas call for Jean Madison

00:22:41Overseas call for Jean Madison

00:22:43And you answered it?

00:22:44Sure, I thought maybe we could give you the message

00:22:45Oh, how nice of it

00:22:47Thank you

00:22:48And it was Henry

00:22:49And you talked to him?

00:22:49Yes, he was very upset

00:22:50I told him what had happened

00:22:51And he couldn't imagine what had become of his letters

00:22:54Oh, you see

00:22:55I told you it was a mistake

00:22:56Sure

00:22:57What did he say?

00:22:58What did he say?

00:22:59Well, he said

00:22:59He said

00:22:59He said to tell you that he loved you

00:23:03And that he kept you a picture in his heart

00:23:06Every minute of every day

00:23:07And that he remembered the way your eyes sparkled

00:23:09And that

00:23:10That wonderful little bubble when you laugh

00:23:12And

00:23:13And your cute little turned up nose

00:23:15And

00:23:17No one but Henry would think of saying those things

00:23:20No

00:23:21Jimmy would

00:23:23You and Henry certainly seemed to have hit it off

00:23:25You bet we did

00:23:26And he made me promise to keep you right with us until he got here

00:23:28Well, I couldn't do that

00:23:29Well, you don't want me to go back on my promise to Henry, do you?

00:23:32You wouldn't have enough room

00:23:33I'd crowd you

00:23:34Well, I think we can manage to squeeze her in

00:23:36Don't you think so, fella?

00:23:37Sure, sure

00:23:37Come on, Admiral

00:23:38Come on

00:23:48Welcome to our cozy little cottage

00:23:50Surely you don't live here

00:23:51Uh-huh

00:23:53They could build bombers in that

00:23:55They did

00:23:56Left runner, Ollie

00:23:58Left runner, Ollie

00:24:08Behold, Red's table

00:24:10It's amazing

00:24:11You've made quite a little help out of this a minute later

00:24:14We call this room the Pirates then

00:24:15The way you boys operate, I say their name was appropriate

00:24:18Uh-huh

00:24:18Great

00:24:20Lovely

00:24:23This coffee table, what is it?

00:24:25Just a couple of turret blisters

00:24:27And that love seat

00:24:29Yeah, that was a two-man life ramp

00:24:31Yeah, get a load of that lamp

00:24:32That's just a control wheel with a blister top

00:24:33Sure, all this stuff is just salvage, war surplus, second hand

00:24:37I can hardly believe my eyes, it's incredible

00:24:40Not with a man of taste and ingenuity

00:24:42Eddie here can take all the vows for this

00:24:44Why, Eddie, you're wonderful

00:24:46You can make real money as an interior decorator

00:24:49Do you think so?

00:24:50Why, of course

00:24:50All you have to do is go out and get yourself a job

00:24:52Uh-uh

00:24:53Stop trying to poison the minds of my men

00:24:55He has talent and I think it should be put to use

00:24:59Observe our unhappy faces before we learn the secret of successful living

00:25:03Well, that's Mike

00:25:04Yeah, prior to his engagement with the Bronco Kid

00:25:08You must have done a lot of fighting, Mike

00:25:10Fourteen fights, fourteen knockouts

00:25:12What a wonderful record

00:25:15Yeah, but I got tired of being knocked out

00:25:19Roslyn's bad for the complexion

00:25:20Pipe the character pushing the hat

00:25:23Oh, hello, Ollie

00:25:25Yeah, I used to operate in the Bronx

00:25:26I can go to the taxi

00:25:27Yeah, until Jimmy showed me how to live without working

00:25:30Thank you, my boy

00:25:33Well, what do we have here?

00:25:35Well, that's Jimmy before the war when he had his own employment agency

00:25:40Employment agency?

00:25:41Oh, no

00:25:43Well, at least you approve of other people working

00:25:45Yes, but that was before the war

00:25:47Yeah

00:25:49Well, I see we have our old friend Socrates with us, too

00:25:52Yeah

00:25:54And as he once said

00:25:55Yes, I know, I was there when he said it

00:25:57Oh, was she?

00:26:00Isn't this Eddie?

00:26:01Yeah, that's me

00:26:03Why, Eddie, what a lovely girl

00:26:06Yes, she was

00:26:08Was?

00:26:09I mean, she is lovely

00:26:11Well, isn't she?

00:26:12Admiral, you've got a big night ahead of you

00:26:13Wouldn't you like to freshen up?

00:26:15Well, if you have a powder room

00:26:17Powder room?

00:26:18Powder room?

00:26:19Oh!

00:26:20Right this way

00:26:23There we go

00:26:29Oh!

00:26:30Oh, heaven!

00:26:32Uh, may I make my choice?

00:26:35Oh, sure

00:26:36Oh, you know

00:26:39Funny, but

00:26:40Back home there's nine of us in the family

00:26:43Oh, really?

00:26:45Only one day

00:26:47That's tough

00:26:49Well, don't forget, shine up real pretty because we're dining at the Egyptian room tonight

00:26:53Oh, the Egyptian room?

00:26:55Yes

00:26:56Do we dress?

00:26:57Oh, of course

00:27:00Well

00:27:05Well

00:27:06I never expected anything as elegant as this

00:27:09Oh, it's nothing really

00:27:10It would come here all the time

00:27:11We have an end with the head waiter

00:27:13We call this joint the Egyptian room

00:27:15Because out there it looks like the Sahara out there

00:27:17Eddie painted the mural to fit, see?

00:27:19I told you he was talented

00:27:22Chicken's good, huh?

00:27:24Frankly, I seem to be getting all the tough pieces

00:27:28This one looks better

00:27:29Uh-huh

00:27:30It's all tough

00:27:34This chicken has been cooking four days

00:27:37Four days?

00:27:37On a spit

00:27:39A spit?

00:27:40In a rotisserie window

00:27:41Now, the only thing is this chicken's been on the fire for five days

00:27:45Wait a minute

00:27:45You mean this is five day chicken?

00:27:47Yeah

00:27:47But our contract with Pierre reads that he only cooked the chicken for four days

00:27:50What happened?

00:27:51Yeah, well he took off an extra thirty cents from our usual fifty percent discount

00:27:55Oh, well why didn't you say so?

00:27:57Thank you, thirty cents

00:27:59You know, this poor bird's been going round and round on a spit for five days without getting anywhere

00:28:05Reminds me of some charming young men I met recently

00:28:08If you worked out as hard at doing something useful as you do at staying unemployed, well...

00:28:12Admiral, that's a very unoriginal thought and it reminds me of a very obnoxious man I met somewhere recently

00:28:18Oh, uh, Jimmy, where are we going to bunk the Admiral tonight?

00:28:20But I can't sleep here

00:28:22Why not? It's just the barracks

00:28:23Yeah, and you were away

00:28:24We'll swing a hammock for you, Admiral, all the comforts of the Navy

00:28:27You boys don't look anything like my former roommate

00:28:30But aren't you forgetting? Henry, Henry made me promise to keep you here

00:28:34Oh, but he doesn't even know you

00:28:36Well, that's true, but, um, well, he trusted me the moment he heard the honest ring of my voice

00:28:42I, I think it's the start of a great friendship between Henry and me

00:28:46And, uh, besides, uh, Henry was going to call you here tomorrow

00:28:49You, you don't want to miss Henry's call, do you?

00:28:52Oh, no, but I...

00:28:53Oh, don't worry, Admiral, I'll protect you

00:28:55I'll even sleep in front of your door

00:28:57Yeah, and I'll sleep in front of him

00:28:58And I'll hit you with the chicken

00:28:59I'd rather you threw a chair

00:29:06anderer

00:29:29Hey!

00:29:30Who do you think you were gon'

00:29:31Well, I kind of figured that the Admiral, on account of the hammer, could like another pillow, maybe.

00:29:36Anyhow, what are you doing?

00:29:37I figured she might be a little cold.

00:29:39What about you, Eddie?

00:29:41What did you figure?

00:29:42I just thought she might be thirsty.

00:29:44You know, you boy scouts are going to run out of good deeds.

00:29:46You better save some for tomorrow.

00:29:48Back to quarters.

00:29:52Yes, sir, Captain.

00:30:12Oh, who's that?

00:30:14Oh, no, no, no, don't come in, you...

00:30:16Pipe down, Emerald.

00:30:19What are you trying to do, wake everybody up?

00:30:21Certainly, what do you think you're doing?

00:30:22Just making my rounds.

00:30:24Well, they'll tell me you're a night watchman, too.

00:30:26Sure, how do you think we get a place like this rent-free?

00:30:29Oh, don't you ever want to do anything worthwhile?

00:30:33Don't you have any ambition?

00:30:35Ambition?

00:30:37Oh, you mean to rise in the world?

00:30:40Yes, of course.

00:30:41And be rich and famous?

00:30:42You could, you know.

00:30:43And have everybody admire me because I have a big office in a 20-story building?

00:30:48Wouldn't it be wonderful, a big office in a 20-story building?

00:30:51No.

00:30:52Have you ever looked down from up there?

00:30:54People look like mice.

00:30:55And if you go 10 stories higher, they look like ants.

00:30:57I want people who look like people.

00:31:00You don't take anything seriously, do you?

00:31:03Why are you afraid?

00:31:05What?

00:31:06She must have hurt you very much.

00:31:10What are you talking about?

00:31:11Oh, don't try to hide it from me.

00:31:13Only a woman could have made you so bitter.

00:31:18Oh, I didn't think anyone would ever guess my secret.

00:31:23I guessed.

00:31:25Well, you must have studied psychiatry in the waves, huh?

00:31:29No.

00:31:31No, it's just that a woman feels those kind of things.

00:31:36What's her name?

00:31:37Her name?

00:31:40Cynthia.

00:31:42Cynthia.

00:31:44Well, is it all over?

00:31:48Please, I'd rather not talk about it just now.

00:31:51Oh, I understand.

00:31:52But don't let it get you down.

00:31:56No.

00:31:56One of these days, the right girl will come along.

00:31:59Do you think so?

00:32:01Of course she will.

00:32:05Oh, no.

00:32:06Say, that Henry's a lucky fellow, isn't he?

00:32:08And if you want to be bright and shiny for him tomorrow, well, you just better get some shut-eye.

00:32:12That's all.

00:32:14Well.

00:32:17Bon voyage, Admiral.

00:32:19Bon voyage.

00:32:20Bon voyage.

00:32:25Bon voyage.

00:32:27Pleasant dreams.

00:32:35Cynthia.

00:32:37Cynthia.

00:32:38What a silly name.

00:32:40What a silly name.

00:33:11What's on the program today, Jimmy?

00:33:12Well, we have several important things to...

00:33:14Good morning.

00:33:15Well, good morning, Admiral.

00:33:17Your breakfast awaits you.

00:33:18Yes, that's very nice of you.

00:33:20Toast, cereal, and how would you like your eggs?

00:33:22Well, uh, boiled.

00:33:24Three minutes, I presume.

00:33:26Oh, it really doesn't matter.

00:33:27Of course it matters.

00:33:29Just because you eat chicken that's overcooked

00:33:30is no reason why you can't have your eggs timed to perfection.

00:33:33Isn't she wonderful?

00:33:34Now I ask you, you know, this Henry's a real lucky fellow.

00:33:37Look at the way that toast is done.

00:33:39Just right now, not fine, not...

00:33:41Isn't this strange?

00:33:42I gotta try this jam.

00:33:44That's raspberry, isn't it?

00:33:45Mm-hmm.

00:33:46Uh-uh, uh-uh.

00:33:48All right, well, I've been in the Army, isn't it?

00:33:49You bet it's been in the Army.

00:33:52Gotta have some of that jam.

00:33:53I think it's strawberry.

00:33:54Uh-uh, uh-uh.

00:33:55Uh-uh.

00:34:01That's funny.

00:34:02They're as hard as rocks.

00:34:03There must be something wrong with the time device.

00:34:05No, there's nothing wrong with the egg cook, Admiral.

00:34:07You see, we get our eggs...

00:34:08Oh, no, no, don't tell me.

00:34:09Let me guess.

00:34:10Uh, uh...

00:34:12These are all Easter eggs with the color washed off.

00:34:15That's pretty good, though.

00:34:16Now, we get our eggs from Joe Venuta.

00:34:17Joe has a bar where he sells beer.

00:34:19They're also hard-boiled eggs for the customers.

00:34:21And he likes to serve fresh hard-boiled eggs every day.

00:34:23Oh, and you get what's left over for one-third off.

00:34:2650%.

00:34:27What do you think we are, philanthropists?

00:34:28Well, wouldn't you rather have fresh eggs?

00:34:30Well, of course we wouldn't.

00:34:31Wouldn't we rather have fresh eggs?

00:34:32Well, you can get them by working, you know.

00:34:33Oh, I tried that idea once.

00:34:35I came up with a dish washing job, but Jimmy said...

00:34:38Jimmy said no.

00:34:39Ah, no, that's it.

00:34:40Throw away all your principles and follow Jimmy.

00:34:43Whenever you get a useful idea, just throw it away and make Jimmy happy.

00:34:47Look, Admiral, today Henry will be flying home from Paris.

00:34:49You'll get married and live happily ever after on your philosophy.

00:34:52And we'll continue happily on our philosophy.

00:34:54And never the twain shall meet you.

00:34:55Uh-huh.

00:34:56Well, that's probably your half of the twain right now.

00:35:01Stevens, employment aid.

00:35:02Mr. Pettigrew.

00:35:05What's wrong?

00:35:07Oh, no.

00:35:09Hold everything.

00:35:09I'll be right down.

00:35:12Mike.

00:35:13We've got to go see a man about a job.

00:35:15A job?

00:35:15Yeah, if we don't see about it, we may have to take it.

00:35:18So, come on.

00:35:23But I tell you, Stevens, it's not my fault.

00:35:25I had Henry in the palm of my hand, ready for a ten o'clock delivery.

00:35:28And now, he's gone.

00:35:30Gone where?

00:35:30With Shirley, of course.

00:35:32What'd you do?

00:35:33Nothing.

00:35:36What's the matter with him?

00:35:37I don't know.

00:35:37He's having a fit, I guess.

00:35:39Looks like a new dance.

00:35:40No, it's my sack, Willie.

00:35:42I could always slip something I think of Shirley.

00:35:44Oh, unravel him, Mike.

00:35:45He can fix it.

00:35:45Come on, Mike's an expert.

00:35:46Don't worry about it.

00:35:47Just lie down here.

00:35:48Watch it now.

00:35:49Just relax.

00:35:54There.

00:35:54Yeah, how do you feel, man?

00:35:56Oh, it's much better.

00:35:57It takes my doctor an hour to do that.

00:35:58Now, forget about that.

00:35:59Now, who's this Shirley you're talking about?

00:36:02She's the most terrible, unscrupulous, fascinating woman I've ever met.

00:36:07I've had to divorce her twice.

00:36:08And each divorce settlement cost me a fortune.

00:36:10Now she's rich.

00:36:11And I, I need money desperately, urgently to expand my business.

00:36:15Hey, you know what you ought to do?

00:36:17You ought to remarry her for your money.

00:36:18You're very clever, aren't you?

00:36:19That was my plan.

00:36:21She's my only liquid asset.

00:36:23Oh.

00:36:24Oh, you mean she's willing to remarry you?

00:36:26Of course.

00:36:27We have a horrible fascination for each other.

00:36:30She was coming back to marry me.

00:36:31It was all arranged.

00:36:32But then, she met Henry on the boat.

00:36:35Hey, this Henry character must be a Prince Charlie on wheels, huh?

00:36:38Oh, he's a dope.

00:36:39How could he slurp off a nice kid like the Admiral?

00:36:41Well, he isn't trying to slurp her off.

00:36:42He doesn't even know she's in town.

00:36:44He loves her madly.

00:36:46I lose more nickels that way.

00:36:49Oh, my Shirley's so beautifully wicked.

00:36:52She's been bribing Henry's secretary.

00:36:54And Henry thinks that the girl you're holding has jilted him.

00:36:56She's pretty smart.

00:36:57But don't worry.

00:36:57We'll outfox her.

00:36:58No one has ever outfoxed Shirley.

00:37:00Ah, we're a cinch.

00:37:01All we got to do is bring the Admiral and Henry together.

00:37:03And our problems are over.

00:37:05But we can't find Henry.

00:37:06We can't find him.

00:37:07Shirley has smuggled him underground.

00:37:08I have 25 detectives working 24 hours a day.

00:37:12Trying to track them down without a single clue.

00:37:14Now, you've got to hold her another day.

00:37:16Oh, no.

00:37:17She's a menace.

00:37:18She keeps on putting ideas about work in the minds of my men.

00:37:21Ah, she's a labor agitator.

00:37:23No dice.

00:37:24Come on, Mike.

00:37:24I'll have you on the slave market in the morning.

00:37:27Get me the State Employment Bureau.

00:37:28Why, you.

00:37:29Violence will get you nowhere.

00:37:30Give me that phone.

00:37:31Operator, change that number to, uh,

00:37:32Hampstead 7, 4693.

00:37:34What are you going to do?

00:37:35I'm not going to whistle Dixie.

00:37:38Hello.

00:37:39Miss Madison.

00:37:40This is Air Francaise speaking.

00:37:42Ah, you say, on Anglais, the French Air Transport Company.

00:37:46Excuse one moment, please, Miss Madison.

00:37:48You speak French?

00:37:49Yes, we'll speak.

00:37:49Hey, Mike, do an airplane.

00:37:51Excuse the interruption, Miss Madison.

00:37:52What we have for you is a message from Monsieur Malheur.

00:37:56Monsieur Malheur has missed the plane of today

00:37:58and will be on the plane of tomorrow.

00:38:00That is all.

00:38:01Hello.

00:38:02Ah, merci.

00:38:03Merci.

00:38:04Ah, come on, you love you.

00:38:08Viva la France!

00:38:18Well, holding a wait for anyone I know?

00:38:20She's going back to Walla Walla.

00:38:21What?

00:38:22No.

00:38:23No, you can't do that to us.

00:38:24I mean to Henry.

00:38:25Has she heard from Henry?

00:38:26Well, of course she heard from Henry.

00:38:27He's in love with her.

00:38:28He thinks of every minute of the day.

00:38:29It's not his fault that he's been delayed.

00:38:32Wait a minute.

00:38:34How did you know he was delayed?

00:38:36Well, it's in your attitude.

00:38:37But what about my word, my bond, my promise to Henry?

00:38:40Oh, poor old Henry.

00:38:42How do you like that?

00:38:42She waits and waits around, and when she's sure he's coming, she's gone.

00:38:46Isn't that like a woman?

00:38:47All right.

00:38:48I'm being difficult and hard to get.

00:38:51But Henry's got to understand that I need his respect,

00:38:53that I can't be left on corners.

00:38:55Left on corners?

00:38:56You say this after the full rounded life we've shown you?

00:39:00Oh, Jimmy, it has been fun, and you've been very nice.

00:39:04Look, Admiral, if there's anything we haven't done that you'd like us to do,

00:39:07just name it.

00:39:08Well, I would like to take the five o'clock bus back to Walla Walla.

00:39:11Well, you can think of something tougher than that.

00:39:13Sure, ask for the moon.

00:39:14Jimmy will get it for you.

00:39:15Anything.

00:39:16Sure.

00:39:16You certainly do have cause of followers.

00:39:18I wonder what they think if you fail.

00:39:20Oh, that's impossible with Jimmy, Admiral.

00:39:22Is it?

00:39:26Well, there's one more thing I'd like to do before I catch my bus.

00:39:29Anything.

00:39:30This may sound funny, but I was in the Navy for two years.

00:39:35Yes.

00:39:37And I never got offshore.

00:39:39Oh, one outboard motor coming up.

00:39:41Oh, no.

00:39:42Oh, no, a big boat.

00:39:43A yacht.

00:39:45I want to take a ride on a seagoing yacht.

00:39:47Well, uh, I, I, I, I, I, I.

00:39:54You're a crystal ball, magician.

00:40:21Ah, this is the life that's so fair.

00:40:23Does something for the soul.

00:40:24Hey, Jimmy.

00:40:26Hi, mates.

00:40:26Hi, skipper.

00:40:28Oh, you'll find everything up for us.

00:40:29Just make yourselves at home, mates.

00:40:32Boom.

00:40:33Well, how's she strike you, Mr. Stevens?

00:40:35Well, it's a nice craft.

00:40:36It's a nice craft.

00:40:37Build with select timber, deluxe and ever respect.

00:40:40Call it teak-tack, squint scroll.

00:40:41Even the catfish.

00:40:42And I'll personally guarantee you that you'll turn up an honest 18 knots.

00:40:46I know, but 70,000 is a lot of money.

00:40:49Even for me.

00:40:54Why, Mr. Stevens, that's less than a thousand dollars a foot.

00:40:58You know, when you break it down to feet, it really doesn't seem to be quite so much, does it?

00:41:07Your friends seem to be enjoying it.

00:41:09Oh, yes, yes.

00:41:10They love to see it.

00:41:13Matter of fact, I'm buying it for them.

00:41:16Oh, yes.

00:41:21Gladwell, how do you like life on the briny deep?

00:41:23It's wonderful.

00:41:24But how do you relax?

00:41:26Just sit down.

00:41:28See?

00:41:29I keep wondering when the sheriff comes in.

00:41:32Oh, Jimmy makes the sheriffs hide their badges.

00:41:36Mike.

00:41:37Yeah?

00:41:38Do you like me well enough to tell me the truth about something?

00:41:41Sure.

00:41:44Did you ever know Cynthia?

00:41:47Who told you?

00:41:48Jimmy.

00:41:49He did?

00:41:50Gee, that's funny.

00:41:52Jimmy never talks about Cynthia no more.

00:41:54Was she beautiful?

00:41:56Well, I'll say she was.

00:41:57Cynthia really had style.

00:41:59What'd she look like?

00:42:00Well, she had a clean nose for one thing.

00:42:03Well, I should hope so.

00:42:05But, you know, her props were a little large for her size.

00:42:08Well, that doesn't sound so beautiful.

00:42:10Oh, but you should have seen the load she could carry.

00:42:12Wow.

00:42:13Oh, is that good?

00:42:15Good?

00:42:16Do you like them to do that?

00:42:17Well, that depends on how much damage you want to do.

00:42:20Well, that's something I wouldn't know anything about.

00:42:23But you know something?

00:42:24She was just a little tail heavy.

00:42:27Oh, she was.

00:42:28Yeah, but you should have seen her be.

00:42:32Narrow and round.

00:42:34Oh, that Cynthia was really trim.

00:42:37You seem to have known Cynthia fairly well.

00:42:40Well, I should.

00:42:41I listened to her sing over a thousand times.

00:42:43Oh, Cynthia sings.

00:42:44Oh, not anymore she does.

00:42:46Not since she dropped the four of us.

00:42:47The four of you?

00:42:48Sure.

00:42:49Coming back across the channel.

00:42:50Her motor's conked out and she dumped us in the drink.

00:42:55Great joke.

00:42:57Bad girl, that Cynthia, wasn't she?

00:42:59I suppose you think it was funny to enlist my siblings.

00:43:01I didn't enlist them.

00:43:02They volunteered.

00:43:03I want to go home, if you please.

00:43:05Getting a little rough for you?

00:43:06Of course not.

00:43:07I have to catch the five o'clock bus to Walla Walla.

00:43:09Oh, now, come on.

00:43:10You've taken me on your last joyride, Mr. Stevens.

00:43:12Aye, aye, Admiral.

00:43:13The ship is at your command.

00:43:16Would you like to feel her out, Mr. Stevens?

00:43:18Oh, that's a good idea.

00:43:20I think I'd like to try her in a tight turn.

00:43:22Do you mind, Captain?

00:43:23Mr. Stevens is obviously a yachtsman.

00:43:25Thank you, sir.

00:43:25He can take it, sir.

00:43:27Well, we'll soon find out.

00:43:38Fire!

00:43:47Fire!

00:43:47This is the life, huh?

00:43:49He certainly is, sir.

00:43:51He certainly is.

00:43:52Yes, sir.

00:43:53Now, what do you say?

00:43:55I'd say, didn't she?

00:43:56I'd say she was in purple shape, Captain.

00:44:01Fire on this car.

00:44:02Yeah!

00:44:12Hey!

00:44:13Sick bay duty!

00:44:17She's rough for the young lady!

00:44:19Things are rough all over, Captain!

00:44:21And they're gonna be a lot rough!

00:44:34She moved!

00:44:35Give me that!

00:44:39It's poison!

00:44:41Where am I?

00:44:42You're not on the poop deck, Admiral.

00:44:48And how's our little Wade feeling?

00:44:50Oh, don't mention that word to me!

00:44:53What time is it?

00:44:54It's a little after six.

00:44:57After six? Oh, I missed my bus again!

00:44:59Oh, what's one more day?

00:45:01Nothing to you.

00:45:03Oh, you're wrong.

00:45:03It means everything to us.

00:45:06You know, I got a funny feeling I'm going round and round.

00:45:13Maybe I'm on a merry-go-round.

00:45:15Well, uh, climb on down, Admiral, and put on your prettiest dress,

00:45:18because tonight we got a special treat for you.

00:45:22Yeah, a legitimate stage show.

00:45:24Legitimate?

00:45:24Yeah, legitimate.

00:45:25What's the matter? Can't you steal the theater?

00:45:43Well, here we are. Just on time.

00:45:46Seems awfully late to me.

00:45:47Oh, these curtains would never prompt, you know.

00:45:49Well, the least we could do is go in and sit down.

00:45:52But it ain't fashionable to be early.

00:45:53Get your programs, folks.

00:45:56There you are, Admiral.

00:46:00Swing time?

00:46:03Well, that's playing over there.

00:46:04That's right.

00:46:05Yeah, it was a very good show, too.

00:46:08Curtin.

00:46:09Curtin going up.

00:46:10Ah, they're going in.

00:46:11Well, is he going with us?

00:46:12Nah, it says nothing to be watching.

00:46:14Come on, let's go.

00:46:15Yeah, smoke this.

00:46:17Well, I don't feel like that.

00:46:18Well, smoke it.

00:46:18Come on.

00:46:19No smoking in the lobby, please.

00:46:21No smoking.

00:46:22Oh, so sorry.

00:46:24Well, I, uh, I hope the second act is better than the first.

00:46:27Come, dear.

00:46:27Oh, just a minute.

00:46:29I didn't see the first act.

00:46:30Ha, ha.

00:46:31Sleeps through everything.

00:46:32Come on, dear.

00:46:45Ah, ahem.

00:46:45Here we are.

00:46:47Legitimate.

00:46:47This is humiliating.

00:46:48Shh.

00:46:48Where's your sense of adventure?

00:46:50Locked seats.

00:46:50We're supposed to take them.

00:46:51We're safe.

00:46:52Very few people can afford us.

00:46:53But I...

00:46:54Shh.

00:46:54Sit down.

00:46:54Relax.

00:46:57No, no, no.

00:46:58It's a program.

00:46:58It is taken.

00:47:04Oh, uh, good evening.

00:47:20Excuse me.

00:47:21Does that say swing time?

00:47:22Yes, it does.

00:47:25I'm in the wrong theater.

00:47:26Listen.

00:47:28This is for you.

00:47:30This poison thing.

00:47:31I hope he takes the drink of it.

00:47:33Oh, come on.

00:47:34Smile.

00:47:35Enjoy.

00:47:39There's Henry.

00:47:41Where is he?

00:47:41He's not in Paris at all.

00:47:42He's with a girl.

00:47:44A gorgeous girl.

00:47:46Oh, maybe it's a guy with a head like Henry's looking from the top.

00:47:49Don't you think?

00:47:50Don't you think I know Henry's top when I see it?

00:47:51Oh, I couldn't recognize my own top from up here.

00:47:53No, I saw his face when he looked up at the balcony.

00:47:56It is Henry.

00:47:58So he's out of town, is he?

00:48:05Oh, no.

00:48:06Whoa!

00:48:06Oh!

00:48:06I don't have time.

00:48:07I can't get you somewhere.

00:48:09Pardon me, please.

00:48:10Pardon me.

00:48:10Take over.

00:48:11Tell us to take the home.

00:48:12I'll look after this.

00:48:15The second act starts with a bang, doesn't it?

00:48:19They're taking him away now, Pettigrew.

00:48:21Sure, it's Henry. Gene said so.

00:48:24And besides, I saw the top of his head from the box,

00:48:26and it's the same one that's on the stretcher.

00:48:28Get those gumshoes of yours down at the hospital and hog tie Henry.

00:48:31We're holding the girl.

00:48:33Don't argue with me, Peter.

00:48:35You want that double-entry love life of yours to collapse?

00:48:44Gee, what a rough deal for the Admiral.

00:48:47She must be heartbroken.

00:48:49Look, why don't we tell her the truth?

00:48:51Oh, no, that'll make her feel worse.

00:48:53I got it.

00:48:54We'll tell her I was the hospital and it ain't Henry at all.

00:48:56Sure.

00:48:57Anybody can have a top of a head.

00:48:58Yeah, we'll tell her the top of the head she's seen belongs to Mayor Sheboygan.

00:49:01Why don't you tell her Henry flew back to Paris?

00:49:03No, I don't...

00:49:05Admiral!

00:49:06Good morning, Admiral.

00:49:07Would you like your hard-boiled eggs three minutes, Admiral?

00:49:09I have the water ready.

00:49:10No, thank you.

00:49:11How about some coffee?

00:49:12All right.

00:49:13Maybe it'll help me wash down a few more of your lies.

00:49:15They weren't meant to be vicious lies, Admiral.

00:49:18We were just trying to ease...

00:49:19Ease what?

00:49:20The whole thing's very simple.

00:49:22Henry's just changed his mind, that's all.

00:49:24And for your information, I've changed mine.

00:49:26It's just as simple as that.

00:49:28Now, wait.

00:49:28Don't you think you should hear Henry's side of it?

00:49:30I'll get you some orange juice.

00:49:32It's not his fault.

00:49:33He must figure you gave him the gate.

00:49:34Sure, he doesn't even know you're in town.

00:49:36Yeah, that petty grew Dave's been keeping him away from you.

00:49:39Who's she?

00:49:39Only the ex-wife and the guy that's going to put us to work.

00:49:41If we don't keep you here...

00:49:44Pettigrew.

00:49:46Pettigrew the jiltbox key.

00:49:51So that's it.

00:49:53The only reason you've been nice to me...

00:49:56is because you didn't want to go back to work.

00:50:00Oh, phew.

00:50:01No, wait a minute, Admiral.

00:50:05Don't go.

00:50:06We like you.

00:50:07Honest, we do.

00:50:08Yeah, sure we do.

00:50:09And all the time I thought you were trying to help me.

00:50:12Well, you did.

00:50:13You helped me show me what a fool I've been.

00:50:15And I hope you're happy.

00:50:17Very, very happy.

00:50:18Very, very happy.

00:50:19That's the spirit.

00:50:20Those are the words I like to hear.

00:50:21Admiral, I've got good news for you.

00:50:23I just had a call from the hospital.

00:50:24I know.

00:50:24It wasn't Henry at all.

00:50:25No?

00:50:25No.

00:50:26It was the mayor of the...

00:50:27Sheboygan?

00:50:28Sheboygan.

00:50:28Oh, well, who told you that?

00:50:30I received a mysterious phone call.

00:50:32Oh.

00:50:33Oh, you did?

00:50:34Well, what'd they say?

00:50:36Hello?

00:50:37This Miss Madison?

00:50:39You have just made a bad mistake.

00:50:41You almost killed your own man.

00:50:43Oh, you should have killed Jimmy Stevens.

00:50:46The cheap, lying, conniving, faker!

00:50:50Oh!

00:50:51Oh!

00:50:51Hold that line, Admiral.

00:50:52Admiral, listen.

00:50:53You're just nervous and upset.

00:50:54Oh, I'm not nervous.

00:50:54I'm not upset.

00:50:55In fact, I've never been any more calm in my life.

00:50:58Yes, but when Henry gets...

00:50:59Oh, he'll find me in Walla Walla.

00:51:01Oh, where's my bag?

00:51:03No, no, Admiral, you can't leave now.

00:51:04Oh, yes, I can.

00:51:05And what's more, I will.

00:51:07Ow!

00:51:08Admiral, listen, please.

00:51:09Oh, shut up!

00:51:11I hope that Mr. Pettigrew gives you the...

00:51:12the graveyard ship and the salt mines.

00:51:16Oh, the poor kid.

00:51:18Well, who tipped it, as if I didn't know?

00:51:20Me and my big mouth.

00:51:21Yeah, you and your big mouth.

00:51:22Well, it's back to work for us.

00:51:24No, no, no, I'll think of something.

00:51:25I should never believe another thing we said.

00:51:27No, no, but you'll believe Henry.

00:51:29And the hospital says Henry's taking nourishment.

00:51:30Yeah, well, she's taking the bus.

00:51:32Well, we'll take the nourishment and Henry

00:51:33and put them both in the bus with her.

00:51:35Come on, let's go!

00:51:46Call for Dr. Hyatt.

00:51:48This is it.

00:51:48Tell us room B.

00:51:50Oh, sorry, sorry.

00:51:52Now, remember, the first sign of an argument from Henry,

00:51:54he will snatch the corpus delecta.

00:51:56Right.

00:51:56Does that mean we've got to kill him?

00:51:58He ain't even ambulatory.

00:51:59Ambulatory is going to be.

00:52:01Are you ready?

00:52:02Yeah.

00:52:03Let's go.

00:52:07Wait a minute.

00:52:08This isn't Henry.

00:52:09Any fool can see that.

00:52:10What happened to him?

00:52:11It's my sacroiliac.

00:52:12Shirley has done it again.

00:52:13Mike, straighten him out.

00:52:14I can't talk to a pretzel.

00:52:15A decent woman.

00:52:16Would have waited until we were married again.

00:52:18Before carrying on like this.

00:52:21Now, now, where's Henry?

00:52:22I wish I knew.

00:52:23Shirley smuggled him out of here.

00:52:24With all these people around here,

00:52:25that's impossible.

00:52:26Mike Shirley takes anything she wants.

00:52:29Look how she took me.

00:52:30Read this note she left.

00:52:34What kind of woman is your ex-wife?

00:52:37Completely unscrupulous.

00:52:38I can believe that.

00:52:39Why, she says here that Henry loves Jean,

00:52:40that he's mad about her.

00:52:41Gee, the Admiral feel a lot better

00:52:42if she knew about that, huh?

00:52:43And she's going to know about it.

00:52:44This note is all we need to convince her.

00:52:46Yeah, but she's on a bus already.

00:52:47En route.

00:52:48Wait a minute.

00:52:49Are you telling me you let that girl get away?

00:52:51I'll have you punching a time clock in the morning.

00:52:53No, no, not that.

00:52:54Come on.

00:52:54Wait a minute.

00:52:55Who knows the road to Walla Walla?

00:52:58I do.

00:52:59I was born in Walla Walla.

00:53:01Well, what are we waiting for?

00:53:02Come on.

00:53:14Attention, all bus drivers.

00:53:16Attention.

00:53:17Be on the lookout for one Jean Madison.

00:53:20Age 22.

00:53:21Single.

00:53:22Female.

00:53:22She is a beautiful girl on the way to Walla Walla.

00:53:26When last seen, she was wearing a tambourine with buttons and a brown suit.

00:53:31She is known to favor the seat immediately behind the bus driver.

00:53:35She is wearing nylon stockings, and she has beautiful blue eyes and wavy brown hair.

00:53:42Attention, all bus drivers.

00:53:44Attention.

00:53:45Attention.

00:53:45As a means of positive identification, you will recognize her by a mole above her left knee.

00:53:52That is all.

00:53:53Watch the road.

00:53:55I don't want no trouble, lady.

00:53:56I think you're hot.

00:53:58Hot?

00:53:59Oh, I'm boiled.

00:54:03Peter, stop.

00:54:14Oh, Admiral.

00:54:15Admiral, are you a lucky girl?

00:54:17How dare you?

00:54:18Well, I've got great news for you, Admiral.

00:54:20Someone's outrageous thing.

00:54:21Here, calm down.

00:54:22Calm down.

00:54:23Here, you see this?

00:54:24Don't say another word until you've read this.

00:54:26Here you are, the greatest news you've ever had in your life.

00:54:29I don't see how you boys keep out of jail.

00:54:31Stop talking and start reading.

00:54:32You're the most impossible, idiotic people that I have ever seen.

00:54:37Now, aren't you ashamed for those thoughts you've had about Henry?

00:54:40Poor Henry.

00:54:42That's what I've been saying.

00:54:43Poor old Henry.

00:54:46I owe you boys an apology.

00:54:48You weren't lying.

00:54:50No, no.

00:54:51You were thinking of my happiness.

00:54:52Certainly, Admiral.

00:54:53The pursuit of happiness is practically a profession with us.

00:54:56Yeah, that's our racket.

00:54:57Now, would you like to climb aboard a cloud?

00:55:00There we go.

00:55:02What's the matter now?

00:55:03My last pair of nylons, they're ruined.

00:55:05And I wanted to look nice for Henry.

00:55:08If Henry's mind is on nylons when he sees you,

00:55:11then Henry's out of us, Mark.

00:55:12Go on.

00:55:17Switch on!

00:55:18Flaps up!

00:55:20Energize number one!

00:55:21Check metaphor, President!

00:55:22Energize number two!

00:55:23Ready for the takeoff?

00:55:24Check!

00:55:25Contact!

00:55:26Contact!

00:55:43Oh, hello, Eddie.

00:55:45Where have you been all evening?

00:55:46I'm glad you're up.

00:55:47Surprise!

00:55:48What on earth?

00:55:51Nylon!

00:55:51Six pairs!

00:55:52Wonderful!

00:55:54Oh, Eddie, this kind of thing means so much to a woman.

00:55:57Thanks.

00:55:57They're not just from me.

00:55:58They're from all of us.

00:55:59Where'd you get them at this hour?

00:56:01The black market has a swing shift now.

00:56:04Kiss Jimmy, too.

00:56:05It was his watch that paid for them.

00:56:07I would.

00:56:08If he were here, I really would.

00:56:09Well?

00:56:12Uh-huh.

00:56:14What are you waiting for?

00:56:27Jimmy, you shouldn't have done it.

00:56:30You're so wrong.

00:56:32I should have done it a long time ago.

00:56:36I'll finish your rounds for you.

00:56:38Huh?

00:56:39Give me your clock.

00:56:40I'll finish the rounds for you.

00:56:41Oh, never mind, Eddie.

00:56:42You don't have to.

00:56:43Oh, yeah.

00:57:00Oh, don't stop.

00:57:08You and I could while away the hour, everything that's wonderful is ours.

00:57:26I guess you didn't know what you were letting yourself in for when you saved me the price

00:57:29of that phone call, did you?

00:57:30No, I certainly didn't.

00:57:32Who would have thought a little girl from Walla Walla could have played such havoc with

00:57:36two lives?

00:57:37Two lives?

00:57:39Pettigrew's and mine.

00:57:43I wonder where Henry is tonight.

00:57:45I don't know.

00:57:47I'll bet you wherever he is, he's cursing his luck that he's there and not here.

00:57:52I hope that bottle didn't hurt him very much.

00:57:54I don't think so.

00:57:55From what I've heard of Henry, he probably can take it.

00:57:58Oh, he can.

00:57:59He's very strong.

00:58:00And, uh...

00:58:01And, uh...

00:58:02Charming.

00:58:02Oh, yes.

00:58:03Yes, charming, exceptionally.

00:58:05And, uh, he's tall and his shoulders are wide and, uh, he's tall and, uh...

00:58:11And he has hair and, uh...

00:58:12And teeth.

00:58:12And teeth and, and, and he's very good looking and, uh...

00:58:19And, uh, in fact, he's a little bit like you.

00:58:24Except he likes to work.

00:58:27Oh, yes, he loves to work.

00:58:28He's, he's, he's, he's very ambitious.

00:58:31And, uh, and he's tall and, uh...

00:58:35Oh, did I?

00:58:37Well, oh, Henry, uh, Henry, uh...

00:58:46Oh, Henry.

00:59:06Good morning.

00:59:09Good morning.

00:59:10How do you like my new nylon?

00:59:13Oh, they're beautiful.

00:59:15Just beautiful.

00:59:17Admiral, you better go home.

00:59:19Uh, uh, do you think so, Jimmy?

00:59:22Oh, I'm sure of it.

00:59:23For a girl of your qualities to be hanging around, waiting for a man, is ridiculous.

00:59:31Is it, Jimmy?

00:59:33Yes, yes.

00:59:34You see, we have to remember that you're engaged to Henry.

00:59:38Oh, yes.

00:59:39Well, it's, it's just that I...

00:59:42Oh, well, it, well, it isn't.

00:59:44Isn't it, Jimmy?

00:59:46No.

00:59:47No, Admiral, you better go home.

00:59:49I'll, I'll find Henry Foy and I'll gift wrap him.

00:59:51I'll send him to your airmail special delivery, but you better go home.

00:59:54Hey, Jimmy.

00:59:55Jimmy, we got trouble.

00:59:56What's the matter?

00:59:57What happened?

00:59:57Well, it's bad.

00:59:58It's Eddie.

00:59:59I'm sorry, Jimmy.

01:00:00Well, nothing could be that bad, fellas.

01:00:01We're all in this together, aren't we?

01:00:03Yeah.

01:00:03Well, whatever it is, good or bad, we multiply by four, don't we?

01:00:06Sure.

01:00:06Well, okay, come on, speak up.

01:00:09I've got a job.

01:00:11Oh, that's wonderful.

01:00:14Where's it this time?

01:00:15China, Burma, India?

01:00:17Kansas City.

01:00:18I'm so happy for you, Eddie.

01:00:20I'll bet you are.

01:00:22Have you told Lois?

01:00:23I've been sending sketches to this firm and they've offered to take me on as a decorator.

01:00:27Kansas City, huh?

01:00:28Well, I suppose that's far enough away for someone who wants to run out.

01:00:31Jimmy, are you telling him not to take this job?

01:00:33Look, you keep at it.

01:00:34I will not.

01:00:35Eddie, don't pay any attention to him.

01:00:36You take the job.

01:00:37I'd need $100 for train fare and...

01:00:39$100, huh?

01:00:40Well, we don't have it.

01:00:41And even if we had it, you wouldn't get it.

01:00:43I don't understand this horrible obsession you have against work.

01:00:46Well, there are a lot of things you don't understand.

01:00:48And if you want to make speeches, you better go find somebody who's interested.

01:00:51Go find Henry.

01:00:52Don't think I won't.

01:00:54At least he has principles.

01:00:56He's not a chiseling gold brick.

01:00:58He's a man you can depend upon.

01:01:01He's...

01:01:02Oh, you're impossible.

01:01:04Here they are.

01:01:06Well, Mr. Stevens, I imagine you'll be very happy to...

01:01:09Is this the girl?

01:01:10That's her.

01:01:11Not much of it, is there?

01:01:13Rather attractive, though.

01:01:14All we'll have to do is wave her under Henry's nose.

01:01:15You're not going to wave me under anybody's nose.

01:01:18I'm going home.

01:01:19You can't do that.

01:01:20My detectives have found your Henry.

01:01:21They've discovered where Shirley is hiding him.

01:01:23Where?

01:01:23In my wedding present.

01:01:25In what?

01:01:25My country home.

01:01:26My own house.

01:01:27Take her, men.

01:01:28Take your hands off me!

01:01:29No!

01:01:29Oh!

01:01:30What's the matter?

01:01:30Didn't you hear them?

01:01:31They've snared your Henry for you.

01:01:32You're charming, wonderful Henry.

01:01:33You're a man of principle and ambition.

01:01:35Henry's waiting to lift you right out of our hair.

01:01:37And this time, I'm going to see that he does.

01:01:40Pull it again after them.

01:01:42At last.

01:02:01Quiet, we want to surprise them.

01:02:08Surprise.

01:02:09Peter, darling.

01:02:10I thought you'd never get here.

01:02:12Oh, Shirley, it's so good to see you.

01:02:14I've missed you terribly.

01:02:14I know you've missed me.

01:02:16You've felt it?

01:02:17I know it.

01:02:17You see, I've had my detectives following your detectives.

01:02:20I told you she's never been outfoxed.

01:02:22Say, where's this Henry character?

01:02:24Yes, where is he?

01:02:24Uh, shall we go in?

01:02:26Yeah, let's go.

01:02:27Oh, come on.

01:02:28Yeah, Henry's waiting.

01:02:29Mr. Bimble has some news for you.

01:02:31Bimble?

01:02:31Who's Bimble?

01:02:32Bimble!

01:02:34Oh, there you are.

01:02:36Well, you should know Mr. Bimble.

01:02:37He's one of your best detectives.

01:02:39Go on, Mr. Bimble.

01:02:41Tell him.

01:02:41Oh, you tell him.

01:02:43Oh, for heaven's sakes, tell me.

01:02:45Well, Henry ain't here no more.

01:02:46What?

01:02:47She sneaked him out from under our very noses.

01:02:50Now, wait a minute, lady.

01:02:51This may seem funny to you, but...

01:02:52Who's she?

01:02:53Oh, that's right.

01:02:54You haven't met.

01:02:55Well, step into the center of the ring.

01:02:56Admiral, meet your competition.

01:02:57So, you're Henry's wonderful little way from Walla Walla.

01:03:02Ah, that's her.

01:03:03Yes.

01:03:03I understand you're known as Peter Pettigrew's folly.

01:03:07Oh, right cross.

01:03:08Very clever, darling.

01:03:09Very clever.

01:03:10That's fine, girls.

01:03:11Now break clean and come out fighting.

01:03:14Why don't you leave Henry alone?

01:03:16I read the letter and you admitted yourself he didn't love you.

01:03:19Oh, let's not be naive, darling.

01:03:21With all of Henry's charms, why should a little thing like love stand in the way?

01:03:24And besides, I've got your Henry hanging on the ropes.

01:03:27On the ropes?

01:03:28Oh, he can't be very much good to you that way, can he?

01:03:31Now, just as well face it, darling, you're outclassed.

01:03:34Outclassed.

01:03:35Outclassed.

01:03:36Classed.

01:03:37Now, why don't you be a good little girl and go home?

01:03:40I will be a good little girl.

01:03:43But I'm not going home.

01:03:44You're not going to hang around us and mess up our lives.

01:03:46Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.

01:03:48You incompetent idiot.

01:03:49You're spoiling everything.

01:03:50Wait a minute, wait a minute.

01:03:50We kept our part of the bargain with you.

01:03:52If you want the Admiral to stick around here waiting for Henry, why don't you keep her?

01:03:55Oh, you...

01:03:56I never thought of that.

01:03:57Well, we have plenty of rooms here.

01:03:59Six servants, 22 detectives.

01:04:01But...

01:04:01Don't worry about me.

01:04:01I'll be staying downtown.

01:04:03But poetic justice...

01:04:04Well, it's okay, then.

01:04:05Everything's settled.

01:04:06Thank you very much, and I promise you, you'll never forgive me.

01:04:08Come on, fellas.

01:04:09Where's Shirley?

01:04:10Where's Shirley?

01:04:10Shirley's gone.

01:04:11Smith, tell my wife.

01:04:12Don't let her out of your sight.

01:04:13She'll lead you to Henry.

01:04:14Now, go.

01:04:14Wait a minute.

01:04:15I can't go.

01:04:16Why not?

01:04:17I'm not Smith.

01:04:18My name is Jones.

01:04:18All right, Jones.

01:04:20Watson Jones.

01:04:20My dear Watson, don't look now, but Shirley's drifting down the driveway.

01:04:25Yeah.

01:04:26What?

01:04:27She'll never get away from me, Mr. Pettigrew.

01:04:30Oh, there she goes.

01:04:32Oh.

01:04:33After her.

01:04:34Relax, Mr. Pettigrew.

01:04:36I'll head her off.

01:04:37You can depend on me, Pettigrew.

01:04:40Oh, I've got her flat.

01:04:42Use my car.

01:04:43Hurry, hurry.

01:04:44Oh, no.

01:04:46Look.

01:04:46She's flatting me, too.

01:04:47Oh, that Shirley's the most exact...

01:04:49Oh, my, Zach, really.

01:04:50Mike.

01:04:51Mike, help me.

01:04:51No, you don't.

01:04:52From now on, you keep them in gear.

01:04:53Come on, fellas.

01:04:54But Jimmy, Jimmy!

01:04:56What's the matter now?

01:04:57My clothes are at your house.

01:04:58Well, they're too small for us.

01:05:00We'll send them to you.

01:05:01Come on.

01:05:01Relax, Mr. Pettigrew.

01:05:03Be brave, Mr. Pettigrew.

01:05:09Oh, my God.

01:05:10Oh, my God.

01:05:11Oh, my God.

01:05:14Oh, my God.

01:05:22Eddie.

01:05:23Why, Jean, it's good to see you.

01:05:25I noticed you drew KP duty tonight.

01:05:27Yeah.

01:05:28Well, count me in.

01:05:29How are you, Admiral?

01:05:30How are things at the Pettigrew house?

01:05:31Oh, very elegant.

01:05:32You know, maids and butlers.

01:05:34And soft-boiled eggs.

01:05:36Sounds swell.

01:05:38Oh, I don't know.

01:05:39I'm sort of spoiled after being with you fellas.

01:05:41You know, it doesn't seem fun anymore when people pay for things.

01:05:46Where are the boys?

01:05:47They went to the six-day bicycle races.

01:05:49Good heavens.

01:05:50They're going to be gone for six days?

01:05:51No, they only bought tickets for the opening night.

01:05:54Bought?

01:05:55You mean Jimmy paid to get in?

01:05:57Yeah.

01:05:58Jimmy's slipping.

01:05:59He isn't the same lately.

01:06:01I guess you know why, Admiral.

01:06:04Oh, I wouldn't say he's changed that much.

01:06:06I noticed he wouldn't let you take that job.

01:06:09Well, it wouldn't have been much good without Lois anyway.

01:06:12That's easy.

01:06:13Take her with you.

01:06:14You don't understand, Admiral.

01:06:16Well, she lives here in town, doesn't she?

01:06:18Yeah, in Bel Air.

01:06:20But I don't see Lois anymore.

01:06:23Not since...

01:06:23Oh, she met someone else while you were overseas.

01:06:26No, you see, I...

01:06:29I have to make the rounds now.

01:06:31See you later.

01:06:32Well, Eddie, was it Lois that broke it all?

01:06:35No, it wasn't Lois.

01:06:36Well, did you break it all?

01:06:38Don't be silly.

01:06:40Then it's Jimmy.

01:06:41It's this life he's making you leave.

01:06:43Of course you couldn't marry a girl into this.

01:06:45It wasn't Jimmy's fault.

01:06:47It's mine.

01:06:47He has nothing to do with it.

01:06:48You're just protecting her.

01:06:50Look, Admiral, stop doing me, Jimmy, will you?

01:06:53If you're going to think that, I...

01:06:54I'd better straighten you out.

01:06:56You see, I got scared when I found out how rich Lois was.

01:07:00That night she let me take her home from the officer's dance.

01:07:03I never saw such a big house.

01:07:05When you're in love, money isn't really important.

01:07:08It wasn't Lois.

01:07:09It was her folks I was scared of.

01:07:11So I lied.

01:07:12Then when I shipped overseas, I put my lies into writing.

01:07:15I even began to believe them myself.

01:07:17I promised Lois the moon on a silver platter.

01:07:21And suddenly I realized I couldn't live up to my lies when I came home.

01:07:25I lied myself into a deep hole when I couldn't get out.

01:07:28So when our plane crashed, Lois was notified that I was killed in action.

01:07:33It was the answer to my prayers.

01:07:35But that poor girl thinks you're dead.

01:07:38It's better that way.

01:07:42Oh, Eddie.

01:07:45You adorable fool.

01:07:48Your troubles are over.

01:07:49I'm going to go out and find Lois and tell her the truth.

01:07:51No, you're not.

01:07:52You keep out of this.

01:07:54Jimmy's right.

01:07:54You're not happy unless you're meddling in other people's affairs.

01:07:57Mind your own business.

01:08:00Eddie, why don't you take the job?

01:08:03You'd make good at it.

01:08:04I haven't even got the hundred dollars.

01:08:06We'll get the hundred dollars.

01:08:10After all, a hundred dollars isn't so...

01:08:14tough to raise.

01:08:15Is it, Mike?

01:08:21You've got to win this money, Mike.

01:08:22You've got to for Eddie's sake.

01:08:24Ah, for Eddie, I'll murder this girl.

01:08:26Here they are.

01:08:28Come on, Mike.

01:08:28Get your clothes on.

01:08:29Wait a minute.

01:08:30You leave him alone.

01:08:31Hurry up.

01:08:31Let's get out of here.

01:08:32He's earning his first honest dollar since he got mixed up with me.

01:08:34He doesn't need a dollar.

01:08:35But it's important.

01:08:36It isn't for Mike.

01:08:37It's for...

01:08:38It's for me.

01:08:39I need the money.

01:08:40Is it important enough to send him to the cemetery?

01:08:42Oh, don't be such an optimist.

01:08:44It's only a friendly boxing match.

01:08:46Yeah, well, a friendly tap in the head can kill him.

01:08:48Kill him?

01:08:49He's got an infranial fracture, a tin plate to you.

01:08:51Yeah, he got it in a plane crash.

01:08:53And I crashed the plane.

01:08:54Mike, why didn't you tell me?

01:08:55Please, Jimmy, I can take this.

01:08:57Come on, Mike.

01:08:58Let her get her own money.

01:08:59Come on.

01:08:59Are you crazy?

01:09:00Okay, kid, you're on next.

01:09:01Well, I got news for you, bud.

01:09:02Mike ain't fighting tonight.

01:09:03Oh, no?

01:09:05Look, Jack, I don't know who you are, but I operate this joint.

01:09:07I better explain my house policy.

01:09:09And I fix fights, pull fights, do everything with fights, except cancel.

01:09:13Yeah, well, tonight you're changing your house policy.

01:09:15Mm-mm.

01:09:16And I got six characters on a pension waiting outside to see that nobody except a guy in trunks heading

01:09:20for the ring leaves this room in the next few minutes.

01:09:23Wait a minute, Mr. Boobie.

01:09:26Mike, I got you into this and I'll get you on.

01:09:32Jimmy.

01:09:33Jimmy will fight in your place.

01:09:35But Jimmy don't know how to fight.

01:09:36I'm a lousy fighter.

01:09:39Well.

01:09:39Oh, they're worse.

01:09:41All right, then.

01:09:42I'll fight in your place.

01:09:43Look, sister, drop around on Monday nights when I have a lady wrestling.

01:09:47Tonight I need somebody with hair on his chest.

01:09:50Why don't you get Henry to fight for it?

01:09:52Don't think he wouldn't.

01:09:54He wouldn't mind fighting.

01:09:55He wouldn't be a coward.

01:09:56Oh, shut up.

01:09:57How much does the loser get?

01:09:58Nothing.

01:09:59Nothing?

01:10:00According to the State Boxing Commission, you've got to come up with...

01:10:02No, fish joints run strictly according to Marty Gruber, and the loser gets nothing.

01:10:08You guys figure it out.

01:10:09I got a hot crowd out there yelling for blood.

01:10:11And one of you better be in that ring in five minutes.

01:10:24Well, who's got the most blood?

01:10:36I want you to fight a nice, clean fight.

01:10:40I don't have no low blows.

01:10:41No thumb in the eyes.

01:10:42No healing.

01:10:43No rabbit punching.

01:10:45And no kidney punching.

01:10:46You both understand that?

01:10:48Shake hands and come out and fight.

01:10:57Come on, I don't like that.

01:10:59Come out fighting.

01:10:59It's not too late, Jimmy.

01:11:00We can still make a run.

01:11:01That Corporal Kelly's a killer.

01:11:03He's got muscles in his ears.

01:11:06Now, don't worry, fellas.

01:11:07I'm not going to fight this guy.

01:11:08I'm going to talk him into splitting the purse.

01:11:1110 seconds.

01:11:12Clear the ring.

01:11:12Clear the ring?

01:11:13No, no, not you.

01:11:14Oh.

01:11:16Oh.

01:11:18Oh.

01:11:27Oh.

01:11:51Listen, Corporal.

01:11:52Let's play it smart.

01:11:54I'll take it easy with you, and we'll split the purse.

01:11:5650-50.

01:11:56All right.

01:11:57Come on.

01:11:57Break it up, you guys.

01:11:57Come on.

01:11:59Okay?

01:12:00Okay.

01:12:12Now, listen, Lieutenant.

01:12:13I'm willing to give you a break.

01:12:14Where's your men?

01:12:18Oh, no.

01:12:19I'd rather do business with you.

01:12:20Listen.

01:12:26I'm telling you, Lieutenant.

01:12:28I'm willing to give you a break.

01:12:29I'll make it 60-40.

01:12:40Hey, anybody.

01:12:42I bet a bucky doesn't last the round.

01:12:47I'll take that then.

01:12:49Three, two, five, six, seven, eight.

01:12:57Get it.

01:13:03Hey, what's that?

01:13:04Somebody rang the bell. I didn't do it.

01:13:06Don't be nice for me. Get back in the fight.

01:13:12Gee, the count went to nine, Jimmy.

01:13:14Yeah?

01:13:16Well, what happened to two, four, six, and eight?

01:13:18Yeah, well, tonight they're only using hard numbers.

01:13:20Oh.

01:13:23Hey, what's the matter with that guy?

01:13:25You know, I made him a wonderful offer.

01:13:28He must be hard to hear, huh?

01:13:33I'm sorry.

01:13:36And you?

01:13:38Wait a minute, Mike.

01:13:40I got you into this, and I'll get you out of it.

01:13:44Jimmy can fight in your place.

01:13:48Why, you?

01:13:50Ten seconds.

01:13:52I can't change.

01:14:13I can't change.

01:14:15I can't change.

01:14:23Let's go.

01:14:26Now listen, Captain. I've been carrying you up to now, but I warn you, I won't accept anything less than

01:14:3270-30.

01:14:34That's 30 for me.

01:14:43This won't last long. Better get the next crowd ready.

01:14:45Okay, Marty.

01:14:46Oh, wait a minute.

01:14:51Better get the ambulance ready.

01:14:58Even Joe Lawrence would stay cold on that one.

01:15:0017, 23, 24, 25, 25, 25, 26, 27, 28, 28, 29, 27, United.

01:15:13Oh, darling.

01:15:15What's the sense of you and me knocking each other around for a moment?

01:15:19I'm telling you, I don't want to open up on you.

01:15:21Why will I hurt you?

01:15:33Stop the fight, Mike. You'll kill him.

01:15:35Stop it. I'd better get the truck ready.

01:15:37Stop it, you understand?

01:15:38This'll stop it.

01:15:39Three.

01:15:40Stop the fight.

01:15:41Four.

01:15:42Five.

01:15:44Six.

01:15:45Thanks very much.

01:15:46Seven.

01:15:47Eight.

01:16:09One, two, three, four.

01:16:21The guys in the bleachers don't know it, but they just seem one of the gamest guys that ever walked

01:16:25into a ring.

01:16:27I'm so sorry, Jimmy.

01:16:32Oh, it's you.

01:16:33I'm terribly sorry.

01:16:35It's okay.

01:16:36Now go figure some other way to get your money, but count me out.

01:16:39Please, Jimmy. It wasn't for me. It was for Eddie.

01:16:43For Eddie?

01:16:44So he could take that job and I could tell Lois the truth.

01:16:47You could tell Lois.

01:16:48Well, what good would that do?

01:16:50It would solve Eddie's problem.

01:16:52Oh, what do you think I've been trying to do all these months?

01:16:55Why do you think I wouldn't let Eddie take a job a million miles away from here?

01:16:58Don't you think I could have told Lois?

01:17:00Then why didn't you?

01:17:01Oh, because it's not as simple as that.

01:17:03Eddie killed himself when he let Lois think he was dead.

01:17:07Why did he do it?

01:17:08Because he was afraid. That's why. Just plain afraid.

01:17:11Killed his courage and his confidence. Everything that a man lives by.

01:17:15Well, he'll never be able to breathe again until he has guts enough to forget about Lois' money and go

01:17:19see her himself.

01:17:20That's why I've been keeping him with me all these months.

01:17:22So I could prove to him that happiness doesn't depend on money.

01:17:27Jimmy, Jimmy's right.

01:17:32I'm sorry you had to get your brains knocked out to feed some sense into my head.

01:17:37But you're dead.

01:17:39Thanks, Jimmy.

01:17:42Wait a minute. Where are you going?

01:17:44What do you think?

01:17:46Eddie.

01:17:47Oh, Eddie.

01:17:49Wait a minute, will you?

01:17:53I guess I'd better warn you.

01:17:55Maybe Lois still loves you and maybe she doesn't.

01:17:58Maybe she's falling for another guy.

01:18:00Isn't it about time I found out?

01:18:02Yeah.

01:18:04Yeah.

01:18:06You know, you're the first one in the class to graduate.

01:18:11Good luck, kid.

01:18:12You're on your own.

01:18:22Jimmy, I didn't know.

01:18:24Oh, shut up.

01:18:25You know, I wish you were a man.

01:18:26I wish you were Henry for a minute so I could knock your meddling brains out.

01:18:29Now go on.

01:18:29Get out of here.

01:18:30Leave me alone.

01:18:33I'll stick with him.

01:18:51I wouldn't have asked you to fight if I'd known about it.

01:18:54About the tin plate?

01:18:56That's nothing.

01:18:58I was lucky.

01:18:59You know, the guy that really got hurt when Cynthia Christ was Jimmy.

01:19:03He was hurt.

01:19:05Yeah, you see, he's got a scar that the doctors can't see.

01:19:09Something here, inside of him.

01:19:13He keeps blaming himself for the crash.

01:19:17You mean a guilt complex.

01:19:19Well, I don't know what you'd call it.

01:19:23Well, Jimmy knows I'll never be able to go back to fighting again.

01:19:26And, well, on the count of the dent in the noggin and Miss Freddie and Holly.

01:19:32Well, I don't know why, but he figures he's got to look out for us guys.

01:19:38How long can this go on?

01:19:40Just as long as Jimmy needs us.

01:19:44If I know Jimmy, he'll stick by you boys just as long as he thinks you need him.

01:19:51Yeah.

01:19:53Oh, Mike.

01:19:55There must be an answer somewhere.

01:20:01Yep, here she is, Mr. Pettigrew.

01:20:03Hello, hello, my dear.

01:20:03I'm practically solvent.

01:20:04Shirley has agreed to marry me.

01:20:06Well, come on.

01:20:06What are we waiting for?

01:20:07We're waiting for Jimmy.

01:20:08Where is he?

01:20:09Where's who?

01:20:11What in the world have you been up to?

01:20:12Oh, I was playing hopscotch and dropped my bean bag.

01:20:15At a time like this, Shirley's at my house waiting for me.

01:20:18And Henry will be there any minute.

01:20:19I can't take any chances.

01:20:20This girl has to be there to grab Henry when he arrives.

01:20:22Well, take her and go.

01:20:23I won't go.

01:20:24Jimmy.

01:20:25You've been influencing this girl.

01:20:26I've been influencing her?

01:20:28Oh, I'm a desperate man, Stevens.

01:20:30Time is running out.

01:20:30And I promise you, you're going to work

01:20:32unless you have this girl ready, willing, and waiting for Henry.

01:20:35Oh, yeah?

01:20:36Well, she's going to be ready, Mr. Pettigrew.

01:20:39Oh, no, I won't.

01:20:39And she's going to be willing, Mr. Pettigrew.

01:20:41No, let me explain, Jimmy.

01:20:42Because this time I'm going to raffle right around Henry Smith.

01:20:45Keep on em going.

01:20:45Hurry, my car's out there.

01:20:48Hurry, Clarence.

01:20:50Clarence, hurry.

01:20:53As long as we can get Miss Madison there before Henry arrives, we're safe.

01:20:56The mere sight of that Adonis might change Shirley's mind again.

01:20:59Adonis, huh?

01:21:00What if Henry's early?

01:21:01Oh, there goes my sacrilyac again.

01:21:03Let's stop the car and I'll throw him back in the gear.

01:21:05Hold it, Mike.

01:21:06Why should you straighten him out?

01:21:08Everybody's getting something out of this but us.

01:21:10How can you let the poor man suffer like that?

01:21:13Why do you care about anyone else suffering?

01:21:16You're getting your Henry, aren't you?

01:21:18That's all you want, isn't it?

01:21:20Well, isn't it?

01:21:21You know, I've been thinking.

01:21:23Jimmy, you're right.

01:21:23What do we get out of this?

01:21:24Sure.

01:21:25Please stop arguing and state your terms.

01:21:28Okay.

01:21:29You set us up in business.

01:21:31First class health employee.

01:21:32Why, that's a great idea.

01:21:34I can handle the front and Mike can handle the back.

01:21:36Sure.

01:21:36All right, all right.

01:21:37It's a deal.

01:21:37Now will you handle my back?

01:21:39Well, fellas, you're in business the smart way on an OPM basis.

01:21:42OPM?

01:21:43Sure.

01:21:43Other people's money.

01:21:44Hey, congratulations.

01:21:45Here's your diplomas.

01:21:46You've graduated too.

01:21:48Hey, Jimmy, that leaves you on your own.

01:21:50Yeah, what about you?

01:21:51On my own?

01:21:52Are you kidding?

01:21:53Hey, there's a whole world full of people waiting for my talent.

01:21:57All I need is a new face.

01:21:59Well, we're coming to your house, Mr. Pettigrew.

01:22:01Do you want I should carry in and give you the full treatment?

01:22:03Heavens no.

01:22:04Fix me up out here.

01:22:05Shirley would never marry a pretzel.

01:22:14Come on.

01:22:16Come on, honey.

01:22:20Jimmy, if you'd only...

01:22:22If you'd let me...

01:22:22Oh.

01:22:24Oh, there you are.

01:22:25Yes, she's ready, willing, and able.

01:22:27It isn't that you win, you understand.

01:22:28It's only that I default.

01:22:30Oh, no.

01:22:31You're not giving Henry up.

01:22:32Oh, I know when I'm beaten.

01:22:34Well, come on.

01:22:35Now, where is this Henry?

01:22:36He should be here any minute now.

01:22:37I wish you all the luck in the world with him.

01:22:39You'll need it.

01:22:40Why, is there anything wrong with him?

01:22:42He's almost perfect.

01:22:43Almost?

01:22:44Well, he's so fastidious and so completely impeccable.

01:22:47He wants everyone around him to be exactly the same way.

01:22:50If a woman has an eyelash out of place, he goes into a tantrum.

01:22:53My nerves are completely frayed.

01:22:54So you're welcome to him, darling.

01:22:57Say thanks to the lady.

01:22:59Oh, after Henry, Peter will be so comfortable.

01:23:02Like an old bathroom.

01:23:05By the way, where is Peter?

01:23:06Peter?

01:23:07Oh, Peter's out in the car.

01:23:09Yes, he's being reconditioned for you.

01:23:13Reconditioned?

01:23:13Hmm?

01:23:14Good hell, what an unexpected pleasure.

01:23:20Henry's coming up the driveway now, so pretty up, little one.

01:23:31Oh, Jimmy, there isn't much time, and I want to explain.

01:23:36All right, now, all right, calm down.

01:23:37I know, I know.

01:23:38You've been waiting for this moment for a long time, huh?

01:23:42All of my life.

01:23:44And now that you've got the fish on the hook,

01:23:46you don't want to reel him in,

01:23:47you want to play with him for a while, huh?

01:23:50For a smart man, you're so, so...

01:23:53Who's this?

01:23:56It's Henry.

01:23:59Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, wait.

01:24:02Uh...

01:24:05How do I look to you?

01:24:07You look great.

01:24:08Uh, Jimmy!

01:24:09Jimmy!

01:24:11Uh...

01:24:13Are you sure?

01:24:17Well, now, your hair is a little must.

01:24:20Uh, maybe I've had a harder up on the back.

01:24:22Oh, that's right.

01:24:23Your face is a little shiny.

01:24:25It's so nervous.

01:24:31Here, here, give me that.

01:24:33You're much too nervous.

01:24:37You know, this Henry is a perfectionist.

01:24:40He's impeccable, fastidious,

01:24:43one hair out of place,

01:24:44and one eyelash out of place,

01:24:46and Henry's on his roller skates.

01:24:48There.

01:24:49That'll do it.

01:24:50I think so.

01:24:51Sure.

01:24:51Oh!

01:24:52How did I miss that?

01:24:53Nose is shiny.

01:24:55Oh!

01:24:58Well, I guess you two will want to be alone, huh?

01:25:04Well, how do I get out of here?

01:25:08Well, you...

01:25:09You can go through the den.

01:25:12There's a side door there.

01:25:14Side door.

01:25:21Au revoir, Jimmy.

01:25:28You're a smart man, you're so...

01:25:31So...

01:25:32How do I want to kill you?

01:25:36Oh, it's Henry!

01:25:51Why, Admiral!

01:25:53Well, where's Henry?

01:25:56I...

01:25:57Well, I thought that he...

01:25:58He won't come in?

01:26:00Why not?

01:26:02Because...

01:26:03I locked the door.

01:26:07It did?

01:26:10Mm-hmm.

01:26:12Oh.

01:26:14Here.

01:26:15We're here.

01:26:16No.

01:26:27$250,000.

01:26:28We're here.

The Admiral Was a Lady (1950) – Lighthearted Post‑War Romantic Comedy of Vets, Schemes & Second Chances

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