- 3 minutes ago
"Bank manager Belinda Braithwaite (Hannah Gordon) wants to retire, but her house husband David (Peter Egan), likes things the way they are, and doesn't want to go back to work. " IMDB Also starring John Bird, Lill Roughley, Ruth Mitchell, Richard Aylen.
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00:00Oh
00:48you're supposed to return the ball gently oh is it safe to come in yet oh I don't
00:55no chimpanzee could you try English I'm in a bad mood today I always grunt when I'm in a bad
01:00mood
01:00shall we talk about it oh all right I'll talk about it and you can grunt as a fancy takes
01:05you
01:05sorry why are you grumpy today I'm grumpy every day today I've got a special offer on two grumps
01:16for the price of one I'm grumpy because I can't get a job without moving to London I'm also grumpy
01:21because of this centenary of county councils 1889 to 1989 oh don't the bank is also doubling its
01:28toes in that your bank didn't come into existence until 20 odd years ago don't confuse fact and
01:34nostalgia where marketing is concerned they're threatening to dress us all up in costumes of
01:39the times there were no women bank managers in 1889 please refer to my previous remark about
01:45nostalgia anyway what's your problem every hour on the hour some idiot asked me to run the
01:50centenary committee well you haven't got a lot in your place at the moment have you oh
02:02throwing golf balls about doesn't alter the fact I mean look at it return the town to the happy days
02:07of
02:08yore late 19th century that'll be fun work houses cholera endemic TB no votes for women subduing the
02:16fuzzy wuzzies in the Sudan the sound of the desert is sodden red have you finished well it was a
02:22pretty
02:23dire time you have to admit there will undoubtedly be differing points of view to take into consideration
02:33one of the finest periods of British history imperial British history valiant men dying for what
02:41they believed in Onderman Gordon who's Onderman you do this on purpose don't you Monday generation has no
02:48respect for the traditions of the past family life speak when you're spoken to chastity all the things
02:57which made Britain great you missed out slavery women knew their place too oh they did a woman's
03:05place is in the wrong why don't you get another job it would be better all right I don't know
03:11anywhere
03:11else I'd be so appreciated Ned and in Victorian week you're gonna have to call me mr. race as well
03:19okay do you mind if I snigger from time to time just to show I don't mean it
03:30David David hi what are you doing same thing as last week and the week before what's that nothing
03:39I mean are you busy well what do you think I've been sacked by every charitable institution in town and
03:44now everyone expects me to get a job so you're not busy I'm planning on committing suicide later on how
03:50I'm going to eat my next-door neighbor from the feet up and choke to death if I were you
03:54I'd go and put
03:55Desmond's meal on Desmond flew to Guatemala this morning there's no real answer to that is there I'm
04:01going to Sainsbury's later on but it doesn't have the same ring does it neighbors is on soon what when
04:08I'm fed
04:09up I've got two solutions neighbors is one what's the other one Valium do both together no why they
04:17cancel each other out these are gonna have to go for a start we need high stools quill pens red
04:27ink
04:29people are gonna have to call bank staff mister I don't want people to call me mister if we do
04:35this
04:36thing properly you're gonna have to take a back seat aren't you sorry well I mean having a woman in
04:41charge of a bank silly enough these days in those days it wouldn't have happened at all discuss this
04:47at lunchtime Ned right I'll put down a half an hour's overtime counties a mama please Ricketts from head
04:56office hello mr. Ricketts a Barrington a centenary week oh yes it's all in hand Ned race yes that's the
05:10one uh you know he's he's very capable all right lunchtime today well I'll see if he's free bye why
05:21did
05:22you say I was capable capable of what anything who is she talking to David are you doing anything at
05:30lunchtime is that before postman patter after Ricketts of personnel wants to talk to us Ricketts
05:38is he the smoothie with a devious mind well he does the best he can with his inferior masculine brain
05:53I'm gonna have to trust you what our meeting at lunchtime is cancelled I want you to draw up a
05:59list
05:59of proposals for centenary week fine I'll type them out for you if you like all right oh and Ned
06:05I want
06:06very little cholera and no child slavery all women are mad did you know that now we just pretend to
06:17be mad
06:17so we don't have to take you seriously
06:47I'll give you a little if you like thanks Lou are you still grumpy I'm recovering why because I want
07:01to ask you
07:01something and I don't want my head bitten off and I don't want a Chinese burn thank you sometimes I
07:06wonder why you put up with me Lou I like you do you yeah thank you and anyway you live
07:15next door I have
07:15to like you what did you want to ask me you are still grumpy you said you weren't I am
07:20not still grumpy
07:21I'm grumpy again what do you want to ask me I'll tell you in the car why you won't be
07:27able to hit me
07:28when I'm driving you know I'm secretary of the centenary thing don't you yes how would you like
07:39to organize it I mean it's not as if you were busy is it why did you want to meet
07:52him as a matter of
07:52interest it's a very delicate matter very delicate you can tell me I do delicate stuff all day long not
07:58this kind of delicate this is a very unusual grade of delicate to do with David to do with both
08:03of you
08:04there's a team what kind of team here's the captain now let's have a team talk see how things go
08:10David
08:11mr. Ricketts may the best man win I've obviously missed a bit mr. Ricketts wants you on his team call
08:18me Barrington sit down David why don't you what are you drinking uh wormwood and gall please cooking
08:25bitter all right lovely what's going on I think we're going to be propositioned from the assistant
08:36manager to the manager you haven't written anything down I can remember that bit this is not a joke am
08:47I
08:47laughing with reference to head office communication of the 16th ultimo which refers to the centenary
08:55celebrations commencing on the third instant and the follow-up meeting concomitant on the fourth
09:01proximal what shouldn't you have your buzzing bed and your trouser leg rolled up it's gonna be
09:08masonic it couldn't be anything else it's good office practice this is the way letters should
09:13be written it's unintelligible precisely it falls into the wrong hands nobody will be compromised
09:20what does it mean ultimo is last month instant is this month proximo is next month it's perfectly
09:27simple and I'm not a mason wouldn't they have you no they wouldn't and it's not funny standing there
09:32in your vest with people waving knives at you and talking about tearing your tongue out by the roots if
09:37you're telling anyone anything about it that's what I learned a long time ago Barrington there's no such
09:43thing as a free lunch true we are going to promote your lovely wife to a much better position more
09:50opportunity for her to use her range of skills more money she accepts more responsibility why are you
09:58telling me this question I was about to ask myself David's got nothing to do with my my work at
10:02the
10:02back it's not quite that simple how simple is it or on the other hand how simple isn't it you
10:09work
10:09well together like a well-oiled marine machine you've never been the Marines we're having a short weekend
10:17assessment course as you know the face of banking is changing finance is much more of a family matter
10:23these days gone are the days when the man of the house could control the purse strings well some would
10:29say that was a good thing some would indeed decisions taken jointly are becoming quite the thing in many
10:34modern households well you'll be inviting wives along on these assessment courses next yes we will well
10:39that'll sort the week from the chip yes yes yes is is that what's going to be different about this
10:47management weekend wives are invited they are indeed well um that's going to be a bit awkward isn't it I
10:54mean as far as Bell is concerned what way David well um you're offering Belinda a promotion to
11:00area sales manager oh you'd retain the branch as well of course as your base what about Ned Rees
11:07notional upgrade will take care of that right but um it's still going to be a bit awkward don't you
11:13think how do you mean awkward well they're inviting wives along on this assessment weekend yes well you
11:20haven't got a wife have you no she has got the next best thing though hasn't she same again
11:29you've just found out how much a free lunch costs haven't you oh come on you're winding me up
11:34you've got together with B Ricketts Esquire and you're both winding me up oh very good bellies
11:38you really had me going there for a minute it's not a wind up do you think I would make
11:42a joke about
11:42something like that are you telling me that that man up there is inviting me on a training course
11:47weekend as your company wife I think so yes why I think they do it in America men wear white
11:54shoes
11:54with white belts in America film actors become president they eat blueberry muffins for goodness sake
11:59and they call braces suspenders America is not a place to quote an authority on anything
12:06so so indeed are you game if he says yes are you going to shoot him
12:16um weekend you say mainly weekend Friday afternoon is involved you'll need time off we'd need to get in
12:22touch with your personnel manager so um well what if I didn't want my company to know that I was
12:28going uh for a training weekend as your company wife I I think we'd like a little bit more time
12:36to think
12:36about it uh Barrington if that's all right take as much time as you like I'll give you a bell
12:41David Barrington
12:47why did you say that you didn't want your company to know well I don't do I you haven't got
12:53a company
12:53you were lying what if he finds out the ability to lie convincingly is a much sought after executive
12:58trade these days convincing liars don't get found out oh David Lucinda there you are hello Charles
13:06oh wait a minute I've got a dash oh Ned and Jessica will be at each other's throats by now
13:11see you later bye bye bye bye bye oh nice woman that nice woman I know do you oh yes
13:21of course you
13:21would I silly of me oh don't mind me mentioning old chap but you look as if you've lost a
13:27shilling
13:28and found sixpence I'm changing into a woman Charles are you tell me can you get that on the national
13:38health or do you have to be a member of Bupa I'm not really changing into a woman Charles no
13:45no good yes
13:47well done yes I think you've made the right decision a pint now I've got some thinking to do a
13:57pint might
13:57help always helps me doing much these days then Charles last week I was sacked from the CAB for
14:07being woolly-minded from the parish council for being a man and for meals on wheels for stealing
14:11leftover grub hmm so you're not doing much at all then all in my letter if she can decipher her
14:20short
14:20hand I don't want to have to plow through 14 pages of high-flown office pedantry Ned give me the
14:27basics
14:27he's going to wear a top hat and all the women are going to curtsy on the hour I just
14:32want to bring
14:32a little dignity back into banking the way it used to be in the good old days when men were
14:38men and
14:38women were footstools no no I knew you wouldn't understand I don't know why you asked me to do it
14:45in
14:45the first place oh you've upset him now look the main problem is that he's right tell me this isn't
14:51you talking women in banking are a rare and delicate breed uh-uh women in banking who get paid a
14:58lot of
14:58money are a rare and delicate breed a hundred years ago there wouldn't have been a woman in charge of
15:04this bank it's still not a good enough reason for putting Ned in charge why not he's gonna need the
15:10practice after all uh mr. race yes I wonder if you could spare a moment please what I want you
15:18to take charge of the centenary day in the bank you mean if something goes wrong it'll be my fault
15:25responsibility isn't it wrong with the suspense account no do you want to be manager for the day
15:31or don't you all right as long as you tell her to do what I say all right if it's
15:36only for a day
15:37what can go wrong what about costumes we'll need costumes and moustaches I am not wearing a moustache
15:46Ned no matter how authentic it may appear why will he need the practice it's not my fault Jessica I
15:54too
15:54have been selected for higher things what are you smirking at they've asked you to go on that
16:00training weekend haven't they is there no management secret safe from you the entire division found
16:06out what happened on the first one why do I suddenly feel insecure what happened on the first one head
16:11of
16:11insurance services broke his leg it was on the Sunday on the assault course anyway you're immune they
16:23invite wives and you haven't got one Barrington Ricketts just took us out to lunch and invited
16:28David to be my company wife for the weekend he's still trying to come to terms with a new attack
16:34on
16:34his manhood I'm going to complain to the great architect up in the sky there was a mix-up out
16:39of
16:39missions and I got the wrong life you know what you ought to do don't you well tell me what
16:44I ought to
16:44do Charles well you know we're having this week of anniversary stuff don't you I do yes well there's a
16:50job
16:50going that has that sort of appealing when you hear the sound of breaking glass outside Charles
16:58come down to the police station and bail me out will you all right any particular reason I'd rather
17:03get arrested for smashing shop windows than for strangling my best friend any luck hmm I believe I
17:13avoided death by inches but apart from that I drew blank perhaps we should tell about the job I started
17:20to but somehow it sort of fell away too vague Charles I've always been vague too late to change now
17:28fancy a snort
17:43we do the payroll we do the holiday money anything else last year we got 87 new accounts 50%
17:52of which
17:53are always overdrawn the bank makes money out of people who are in debt net it's the way they pay
17:57your wages
17:58salary I beg your pardon manual workers get wages executives such as myself receive their
18:05enumeration by salary well regardless we already make enough money out of messes bowling and turnpike
18:12no account charges here and Ned during centenary week account deforters will not be publicly hanged
18:22a moment Barrington Melinda Braithwaite oh fine um just just a moment Barrington diary oh no no I'll I'll tell
18:36him no I don't think there'll be any difficulty his company no no I think we'll be able to take
18:45care of
18:45that fine bye couldn't you tell him David hasn't got a job would you so what you going to do
18:52David and
18:53I will have to invent a job you look as if we're too late we'll have to go around and
19:05see him
19:11oh Charles I'm so sorry my dear well was that your knee what do you think oh I mean you
19:24have to
19:24imagine the rest of the costume Ned you look as if something had died under your nose
19:31will it to Braithwaite hello it's me I'd like you to write me a reference I beg your pardon what
19:37it
19:37seems a simple request to me will you or won't you uh yes of course fine good thank you see
19:44you
19:44later then bye uh Jess can you can you bring your book over please
19:54to whom it may concern this is to confirm that David Braithwaite you know the address has always
20:03carried out his duties to the best of his ability he is witty aware inventive
20:19maybe we should leave it for a month or two will be too late then
20:32no you sign it nobody will be able to decipher your scroll thanks a lot do it per pro manager
20:38mid-county's bank this is illegal you know it is not it is fairly unethical that's all and as far
20:45as banking is concerned ethics is rapidly becoming a Victorian concept could you sign this for me
20:51please thank you thank you who shall I address this to I don't know all he said was he wanted
21:00a
21:01reference I presume he's got a job drink uh no thank you I'll need a clear head
21:08for tomorrow so do I but I'm still gonna have a drink
21:12why do you need a clear head tomorrow particularly I've got an interview for a job
21:16just like that just like that oh come on everyone has a Tommy Cooper joke you know I don't man
21:26goes
21:27up to a house right knocks on the door a woman opens the door man says it's sitting woman says
21:36Sid's dead man says did he say anything about a tina paint ah Tommy Cooper did it better well of
21:46course Tommy Cooper did it better he was Tommy Cooper that's what he did for a living I did your
21:50reference oh good thank you what kind of job is it oh very good job very sound excellent doing what
22:00beg your pardon doing what well you're getting very pernickety all of a sudden last week all I
22:06had to do was get a job this week is what kind of job transport executive as a matter of
22:11fact what
22:12may one ask is a transport executive what does it sound like smarty knickers it sounds like a fancy
22:18name for a bus driver David what in heaven's name possessed you to apply for a job as a bus
22:27driver I
22:28couldn't face the thought of telling rat-faced Ricketts I didn't have a job I'm sorry there's
22:32no need to be sorry it's not your fault if my bank didn't have such stupid training ideas you
22:36wouldn't have to be a bus driver I don't suppose there was anything better than a bus driver was
22:42there um waste disposal executive dustman I thought about that one free uniform pick of the rubbish
22:52how you would be torn what what tip the scales none of our friends use the bus but all of
22:59our
22:59friends have got dustbins exactly you can't drive a bus you haven't got a what's it license you don't
23:06need one it's a hop and hail well you flag it down and get on it where you like except
23:12I don't think it
23:13goes up garden paths unlike some things I could mention hi this is a bad time for next-door neighbors
23:20Louise I haven't come as a next-door neighbor actually but what have you come as you've got
23:25the next-door neighbor outfit down to a tee well of course I'm a next-door neighbor as well I
23:30mean
23:30I'd have to move before I could stop being a next-door neighbor wouldn't I except you're always living
23:35next door to someone aren't you even if it's across a field except I wouldn't be your next-door
23:40neighbor which I am except that just for now you're something else you can say that again
23:46Louise is truly something else what's the matter we're in a midlife crisis Louise you can't be
23:52the years of man are three score and ten you're both over 35 aren't you I mean stands to reason
23:59if I open the door will you throw her out my pleasure well that was quick I thought it would
24:06take longer oh congratulations well darling I I knew you had it in you I haven't asked him yet
24:13oh no but I had better wait outside right stop right there what's going on good heavens is that the
24:21time Desmond will be home soon Desmond flew to Guatemala this morning Louise oh yes so he did
24:30I always get Guatemala mixed up with Gateshead Charles what's going on it was Louise's idea
24:39because David hasn't got a job or hasn't an earthly hope of getting one I've got a job so so
24:44Louise
24:45had this idea which I personally thought was somewhat doubtful don't tell lies I am a solicitor
24:51David's got a job what what I've got a job good lord heavens well there's no need to look at
24:59me
24:59like that on earth be careful Louise what you say I was only wondering wonder in silence Lou I would
25:07well if you've already got a job there's not much point hanging about is there come on my dear Charles
25:13yeah purely out of you know what did you come around for can't do any harm make him promise not
25:18to give me any more Chinese burns oh for heaven's sake get on with it well part of the centenary
25:23celebration thing is the setting up of a new business business adventure yeah you know helping
25:27one man bands get off the ground that sort of thing oh yes we had a note about it at
25:31the bank
25:31we know provide help and seed money things like that she's very bright you know for a woman
25:36well you'd be quite bright for a man actually get money for inventing things why didn't you tell me
25:41because I inquired and inventing things doesn't qualify well what are these two doing here then
25:47Charles has been asked to recommend someone to head to the office side of things well you can count
25:52me out I've had it up to here doing things for nothing thank you very much but this is a
25:57job
25:57with a salary is there any bus driving involved
26:05how much salary are we talking about Charles yeah I've got it written down somewhere
26:09um yeah here we are yes there we are
26:16um I shall have to consult my financial advisor by all means is this per year oh yeah every year
26:23yes are you interested um yes which is it
26:30neighborliness only stretches so far Louise
26:33sir well I'm interested Charles um tell him to give me a ring will you
26:37oh delighted delighted ha any um any chance for snort do you think
26:42I think that could be arranged
26:45I might have on myself
26:49I'll need a room of my own of course
26:51who do you think you are Virginia Woolf
26:53what
26:54oh never mind
26:57take a woman to see the significance of that
27:00you're a jammy devil you know that don't you
27:03jam has nothing to do with it
27:05I lead a clean life
27:06not always
27:09feel like celebrating
27:12why not
27:14where are you going
27:15to get some cake
27:16you can't celebrate without cake
27:19get back here
27:20yes master
27:23do you know
27:23I'll be able to tell old rat face rickets I'm between jobs
27:28still want to go on with that do you
27:30of course I do
27:31I have to support my loving wife
27:33and anyway
27:34I wouldn't mind lounging around in a luxury hotel for a weekend as a matter of fact
27:38uh oh the uh
27:39the joining instructions arrived
27:41oh look
27:42on the program
27:44oh
27:45outward bound
27:46it's a funny name for hotel
27:50it's not a hotel look inside
27:54five mile runs
27:55assault course
27:56it's a new management tool
27:58I believe they call it management by terror
28:01you're gonna have to get fit
28:02oh give me a break
28:03I'm the company wife
28:05you'll be the one hurtling up ladders
28:07and jumping across ditches
28:08what are you gonna be doing
28:10cheering
28:11at the top of my voice
28:12thanks a lot
28:13you don't have to thank me
28:15I've always supported you in everything you do
28:17why should I stop now
28:19do you know something
28:20what
28:21I think I rather fancy a bit of cake now
28:23come here
28:25yeah
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