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Beauty and the Beast X Parody (1988) [Full Movie] [Full Story]Full EP - Full
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03:32M.K.
05:26I wonder if the friendly baron dwells therein that might take a poor traveler who's had a long and weary
05:35voyage here.
05:38I'll check therein and see.
05:44Such are the wages of chivalry.
05:47You're a knight in shitty armor.
05:56As Shakespeare was saying about two hundred years, me thinks you protest too much.
06:01Why do you resist me so? After all, we're the same, you and I. Poor and passionate.
06:08I'll do better than you. You just wait and see. One day my love will come here and take me
06:14away from all this. But not before kicking your ass.
06:17We've worked here in close quarters for three years and you still prefer some phantom prince to me. After all,
06:24a cock in the hand is worth two in the bush.
06:26That's a bird, you lowlife. Everyone has their pet name for it.
06:33You know what you are? You're a knave and a scoundrel.
06:38You know my goal is to leave this dump and to marry someone like our master, a handsome prince.
06:45But he isn't handsome. He's beastly.
06:49No, but deep inside he's beautiful.
06:53You say.
06:54Get back to work. I don't pay you sixpence a week to rut like weasels on my floor.
06:59Yes, my lord.
07:00Yes, my lord.
07:02Yes, my lord.
07:03Yes, my lord.
07:03Go.
07:03Go.
07:51İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
08:10İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
08:55İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
09:00İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
09:11İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
09:14İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
09:15İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
09:26İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
10:01İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
10:40İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
10:43İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
10:45İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
10:47İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
10:56İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
10:57İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
11:28İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
11:30İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
11:30İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
11:33abone ol.
11:34abone ol.
11:36abone ol.
11:37abone ol.
11:38abone ol.
11:39abone ol.
11:40abone ol.
11:54abone ol.
11:55abone ol.
11:56abone ol.
11:56abone ol.
12:05abone ol.
12:07I don't think that's, that's not a proper noun, it's not, it's a proper noun, it's proper, Sherwood Forrest is
12:13proper, what's the matter with you?
12:14No, no, it's a word, yes, it's a good word too.
12:17It's a word, but the capital letters were Forrest, Sherwood Forrest.
12:23The capitals, let's look, capitals, G, capital G, there's a capital M here, right? Is that a capital?
12:29That's a capital M, right?
12:31That looks like a capital to me.
12:32What's the matter with you?
12:33Yeah, far be it from me to, but something is not quite, is it?
12:39I don't understand you, you're always complaining about when I make a word, you shouldn't do that.
12:44Yes, Sherwood Forrest is a word, what's the matter with you?
12:47Just like a word.
12:48I win, come on.
12:49Did I tell you that I have a new set of thumbscrews?
12:53Oh, looks good to me.
12:57Yes, I win again.
12:59You win again, that's right. What a stupid me, another mistake.
13:04Well, it's getting late.
13:06I'm going to have to give it up.
13:07We're bad here.
13:08Come on, we can play another game. We only, it was over so fast.
13:11Oh, that's, no, you're just too good.
13:14I'm just, I'm losing everything. It's stupid me, make all these mistakes.
13:18But you're improving.
13:19Look, you got wife here.
13:21Yeah, I got wife.
13:23Well, I think I should just leave it at that, you know, and take off to bed.
13:27I'm not so good. I sort of warned you before, I'm not really good at games.
13:31And you're really good, boy. I'll tell you, you're the best I've ever run across.
13:35All right, Mr. Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, Mother of God.
13:40I'll join you for breakfast at dawn on a very early riser.
13:45Oh, good. Lord Beast.
13:47Thank you.
13:50Tomorrow?
13:55Sure wasn't worried, huh?
13:57It's crazy.
13:58Yeah, it's crazy.
14:03Oh, that guy is ugly.
14:07How the hell am I ever going to get to sleep?
14:10Oh.
14:11Hades, Hades, Hades.
14:14Oh.
14:15Oh.
14:16Oh.
14:17Oh.
14:17I'm a big fan of the day long trying to sell leeches.
14:19Doesn't do a bit of good.
14:20Nobody wants leeches in this day and time.
14:24Oh.
14:25Oh.
14:25I got to think of something beautiful.
14:27I don't want to have nightmares all night long.
14:29Nightmares, I hate nightmares.
14:32Think of being shish kebab by unicorns.
14:34Oh.
14:35Gremlins.
14:38I know.
14:41I'll think of my daughter, Beauty.
14:44No.
14:45It's time of night out.
14:47Better not think of beauty.
14:48It's...
14:48I know.
14:51I'll think of the queen.
14:55She a little high there, maybe.
14:58I know.
15:00I'll think of that whore at Wimbledon.
15:03After the tennis.
15:05I was happy to be leaving that ugly baron's domain.
15:09Goodbye, Lord Beast.
15:10Beast and Thunder.
15:12Thanks a lot.
15:13Thanks.
15:14You won't regret taking those leeches off my hands.
15:17They're good steel.
15:26As Lion was about to leave the grounds of Beastland,
15:29he passed a rose bush filled with beautiful pink roses.
15:34Remembering the request of his daughter, Beauty, he plucked one of the roses.
15:44Hey!
15:46Hey!
15:49Who gave you permission to pick that rose?
15:51Well, I just thought it was...
15:53You know...
15:53I give you room and board.
15:55My maid bucks your brains out.
15:56And you steal a rose from me.
15:59I should put you in my dungeon and give you a good thrashing.
16:02Well, I meant no harm.
16:02It's just that my beautiful, beauteous daughter Beauty asked that I bring her a rose.
16:07A little, nice little rose.
16:08You know, I can't give my daughter the finer things in life, you know, to help them.
16:13Very well, very well.
16:14I'll not thrash you.
16:17You're a beautiful human being, you know?
16:19Unconditioned.
16:20That's a beautiful daughter Beauty.
16:22Visit my home for a few days.
16:25Oh, well, Beauty is quite fine and delicate.
16:28I'm afraid that she would be maybe a little afraid, you understand?
16:34Yeah, you understand.
16:38Did I mention to you that I have snakes in my dungeon?
16:42Uh, Beauty, be right over.
16:44Take the first ox cart down.
16:45I'll send it right over.
16:46Alright, good.
16:47And if you don't make good on your promise...
16:50I'll find it.
16:52Yes, sir.
16:53Have a nice day.
17:05Dodgers, I've returned.
17:07Oh, Father, Father, I have missed you so.
17:10Beauty.
17:12Look what I have brought you.
17:15Oh, it's so beautiful.
17:17Smell it.
17:21Where is Eliza?
17:22Well, where else?
17:24Oh.
17:34Sit down, Beauty.
17:44Can we talk?
17:45Of course.
17:47You know that, that really beautiful rose that I brought back for you?
17:51Yes.
17:52Yeah.
17:53Well, it wasn't exactly free.
17:56You see, I got a little bit tired on the trip and I took this break and stayed at this
18:00mansion.
18:00Lyle explained everything.
18:02Well, almost everything.
18:04About the house, the hideous Lord Beastland, and so forth.
18:09But since you know all that, we thought you might want to know what's going on in Eliza's room.
18:16And so would I.
18:19But it's only going to be a couple of days.
18:22A couple of days, sweetheart.
18:24Oh, it sounds awful.
18:26It sounds terrible.
18:27Papa, please don't make me do it.
18:30Father.
18:32Did you bring me any gifts?
18:33Uh.
18:35I'm afraid, dear daughter, I didn't.
18:39My trip wasn't too bound to fall.
18:40It was, uh.
18:41You wiener.
18:44What's the matter with little Miss Muffet?
18:47It's terrible.
18:48A wealthy baron insists that I come and spend a few days at his house because father picked one of
18:54his roses for me.
18:57A rich baron?
18:58What are we waiting for?
19:00Uh, well, I'm afraid he only requested beauty.
19:03Do you know the psychological damage that you do to me when you favor her all the time?
19:08You don't understand.
19:10This baron is an extremely ugly, hideous guy.
19:13Hey, he's rich.
19:15I mean, how bad can he be?
19:17Hmm.
19:18Q-U-A-S-P-L-E castle.
19:20I don't understand.
19:20It's a closet.
19:21What do you get a closet from?
19:23A strange one.
19:25Nice one.
19:26A strange one.
19:28There you go.
19:35It's pure.
19:36Jesus huge Christ.
19:38Son of a bitch.
19:39Art, you have a different name from your father.
19:42Perhaps you'd like to freshen up
19:44before Hiya...
19:46Before...
19:49Before...
19:50Dinner.
19:51Dinner.
19:52I'll take you to your room
19:54The Beast was immediately charmed by the virginal beauty
19:58Eliza, of course, was quite jealous
20:03My dear
20:09Tell me
20:10Do you know anything about Monopoly?
20:15Come, I'll show you
20:21It's very easy
20:23It's a game with words, see
20:26Spell words
20:29What's a quassel?
20:30What do you mean quassel? It's castle
20:32Q-U-A-S-T-L-E, castle
20:34What's the matter to you? You're just like your father
20:39Meat
20:41My favorite
20:55What do you mean quassel?
20:56What do you mean quassel?
20:56What do you mean quassel?
20:56What do you mean quassel?
20:58What do you mean quassel?
21:01What do you mean quassel?
21:01What do you mean quassel?
21:03What do you mean quassel?
21:06What do you mean quassel?
21:09What do you mean quassel?
21:22İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
21:40Ah, Beauty.
21:44Why don't we have some brandy and some more Monopoly?
21:50As you please, sire.
21:53You know, I'd really like some brandy right about now.
21:57I was speaking only to Beauty.
22:00You may retire for the evening.
22:07Ah, Beauty.
22:14It's often said that beauty is only skin deep.
22:17But ugliness goes to the ground.
22:21Do you believe that?
22:23Certainly not.
22:25I have so much love and passion inside me.
22:29But my ugliness prevents anyone from seeing it.
22:33That's very sad.
22:35People don't realize that the beautiful diamond is embedded in the dark black coal.
22:40Yeah, and the ugly caterpillar becomes the beautiful butterfly.
22:47And the gnarled sticks and twigs of winter make way for the roses of spring.
22:52And those sticky little wrinkled little babies become fully grown adult things and people and birds.
23:02Are you finished?
23:03No, quite.
23:05I agree with you.
23:05You agree with me.
23:07Oh, Beauty.
23:09So many times in my life I've met women who have completely rebelled and won't even speak to me.
23:14It's you.
23:17You're different.
23:19Beauty, could you...
23:21Could you find it in your heart, too?
23:25Make love to me.
23:27Oh, no, wait a minute.
23:28Oh, please, Beauty, please.
23:30I would be so grateful.
23:33Listen, I'm nice and I'm empathetic and, you know, all that.
23:37But I'm sorry.
23:38I just, I can't.
23:40I'm sorry.
23:42I'm the one that should be sorry.
23:43I was wrong, I asked.
23:46Let's enjoy the fire.
23:49Let's enjoy the heat.
24:24Why does that bitch have all the love?
24:26I mean, why can't I have a rich landowner?
24:31Would you settle for a rich landowner's son?
24:34Of course.
24:37Who are you?
24:39Just as I said.
24:40The master's my father.
24:43Fortunately, I got me mother's looks, though.
24:46Lucky for you.
24:49You know, you really are quite attractive.
24:52Much more than your sister.
24:56Well, you shouldn't have to say the right things.
25:01Do you believe in love at first sight?
25:06Not only that.
25:11I believe in...
25:12Do you think he might not come?
25:15Constantly.
25:17Why is it that we sit around waiting for some man to come along to take care of us?
25:26Men are such great treasures.
25:29No, they aren't.
25:30I mean, sure, we have Beastie downstairs.
25:34But most men, they're coarse, hairy, and rough.
25:42They're not smooth and silky.
25:46All curvaceous.
25:50And slick.
25:54We're supple.
25:56And round.
25:59And understanding.
26:03Giving.
26:06I mean, man doesn't even...
26:09Farewell, Lord Beast in town.
26:12You have been most gracious.
26:15Oh, precious beauty.
26:19Please, I will ask one more time, and I will not ask again.
26:25Just one brief moment of lovemaking.
26:28Please, and I will comfort and care for you for the rest of your life.
26:32And give anything your heart deserves.
26:34Anything.
26:38Lord Beastington, you are so charming and brilliant and witty.
26:44But I'm sorry.
26:46I cannot.
26:48Oh, no.
26:50Oh, no.
26:51Why me?
26:54What's the matter with him?
26:56Did he find a zit on his nose this morning?
26:58Well, he's offered to marry me and take care of me for the rest of my life
27:04and bestow great riches upon me.
27:05If only I would make love to him.
27:08And I refuse.
27:12Why you?
27:14Why you?
27:15Um, there, there, Lord Beast in my.
27:18There, there.
27:19I'll make love to you.
27:21That is, if the deal's still on, you know, about the taking care of you.
27:27You got a paper bag?
27:33My Dodgers, you return safely.
27:35Oh.
27:36Did anybody call for me while I was gone?
27:38Uh, yes.
27:39They're all waiting for you now.
27:41Little John, Friar Tuck, Robin, and Maid Marian?
27:45Well, uh, Robin Hood and Friar Tuck, uh, called.
27:48They'll, uh, be a little bit late from, uh, Sherwood Forest.
27:50But, uh, little John and Maid Marian, they're, uh...
27:53Wow.
27:56Thank you.
27:59What is wrong, my dear?
28:02Is the beast's ugliness emblazoned on your brain the way it is on mine?
28:07Well, indeed, he's quite ugly on the outside.
28:11But on the inside, he's a man of great wit, sensitivity, romance.
28:18He used to love to build a fire and we would sit by it.
28:21And he would talk.
28:23You must have done some incredible speaking.
28:25You did.
28:28Well, then why aren't thou, uh, melancholy, my dearest?
28:31I'm not sure.
28:34I turned him down when he wanted to make love to me.
28:37Jesus, I hate Christ.
28:40You're right to turn him down.
28:41You'd regret it the rest of your life if you did.
28:43But don't you see?
28:44I turned him down merely because he was physically ugly.
28:48I can dig it.
28:50But he wept so bitterly.
28:52You know, he's a man of great sensitivity.
28:54I hurt him.
28:56Now I feel so bad.
28:58My naive one.
29:00Men will beg and they will plead
29:02and they will cry for the charms of a beautiful woman.
29:06But I cared for him.
29:07I cared for what he was on the inside.
29:10Don't you see?
29:11He genuinely cared for me.
29:13It's true.
29:14Sometimes you have to dig a little more deeply for true beauty.
29:18Father, I must return to him.
29:20I just cannot be true to myself if I don't.
29:25Well, fine, Ed, but if you'd fall in love
29:27and if you'd be a Mary and...
29:29Would you consider adoption?
29:31Possibly.
29:33A kid.
29:36So Beauty returned as fast as she could
29:38to Beastland to fulfill her destiny.
29:46Lord Beastington.
29:52Yes, I've returned my life.
29:55Oh, you have.
29:57But why?
30:02You mean...
30:04Oh, Beauty.
30:06May I undress you?
30:10No.
30:12No.
30:13No.
30:14No.
30:15No.
30:15No.
30:15No.
30:16No.
30:18No.
30:19I am an animal.
30:21Yes.
30:23Oh, my God.
30:25It worked.
30:25It worked.
30:27Beauty.
30:28I love you.
30:30You're so...
30:32You're incredibly handsome.
30:36Sure, compared to before.
30:37You see, years ago, a spell was put on me
30:41by a wicked witch.
30:43And it could only be removed
30:46if a beautiful
30:48and kind woman
30:51who really and truly cared for me
30:53made love to me.
30:56That's remarkable.
30:59I guess sometimes being
31:01a self-sacrificing,
31:03guilt-ridden ninny
31:05pays off.
31:07Absolutely.
31:10Beauty,
31:11will you marry me?
31:15Yes.
31:16Oh, yes.
31:18Yes.
31:18Mm-hmm.
31:22Ah, well, here we are.
31:26This is my grade school.
31:29PS 48.
31:31Charm.
31:32And over here,
31:38this is my father.
31:42I see the resemblance.
31:45Over here,
31:48is my pants up.
31:53Here.
31:57My window.
31:59What a pain.
32:01Why didn't I ever think
32:02of fucking him?
32:04It was a beast.
32:09Hmm.
32:19Oh, my good woman.
32:21Have you a room
32:23for a wealthy adventurer
32:24upon whom a witch
32:26has cast a horrible spell?
32:29Right this way.
32:30Ha-ha!
32:36Yes, yes.
32:38Oh, my very own beast.
32:41Wait.
32:42I can't get this mask off.
32:44Help me, please.
32:45Please.
32:47Please, it's hot in here.
32:49Please.
32:51That's rough.
32:52I can't get that.
32:54And there you have it,
32:55my children.
32:56Everyone came,
32:57or at least
32:58almost everyone.
33:01Cause in my eyes
33:03you're beautiful
33:04to me.
33:08And you're so Vietnamese
33:09Thanks for sitting in your life,
33:15You're yours,
33:25as you are also special.
33:25I have with you,
33:25You know you'll be
33:25that life's we're
33:25you're healing,
33:25but it's always
33:26Come brings life to you,
33:34because if you're
33:34you're dreaming.
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