- 2 days ago
The Man from Earth (2007) is a dialogue-driven sci-fi drama where departing university professor John Oldman reveals to his colleagues that he is a 14,000-year-old Caveman who does not age.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:00:59Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:01:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:01:58Transcribed by —
00:01:58Transcribed by —
00:01:58Transcribed by —
00:02:29Transcribed by —
00:02:29Transcribed by —
00:02:29No, I'm going to put it in the bathroom, John.
00:02:33Gas is off. Electricity's on.
00:02:36It comes for what you can. The furniture's going this afternoon.
00:02:40It's been years since I sat on the floor.
00:02:44I can't remember her name.
00:02:46That's good for the back.
00:02:47Can we do yoga exercises?
00:02:49Tantric yoga we can.
00:02:52So you're leaving good old we teach you.
00:02:55Rather suddenly, it must have been.
00:02:58True time, John.
00:03:00Is there a problem?
00:03:01No.
00:03:03Oh, come on. You know we want to help.
00:03:05It's appreciated, but really, there's no problem.
00:03:09Well, now I am curious.
00:03:11Where are you going?
00:03:12You have enough tenure.
00:03:13A decade of professorship?
00:03:15In line to chair the department?
00:03:17And you don't know where you're going?
00:03:20Call it cabin fever.
00:03:22After a while, I get itchy feet.
00:03:24I've done this before.
00:03:26No, no, no, no. You're too young to have done this before.
00:03:29And he hasn't aged a day in ten years.
00:03:31Every woman on the faculty would give anything to have that secret.
00:03:35Is that what they're after, Edith?
00:03:37Oh, stop, Harry.
00:03:41Wow, can you pull this?
00:03:44What the hell?
00:03:46What do you hunt?
00:03:47Deer, mostly.
00:03:49Brown big bear.
00:03:50Bone arrow?
00:03:51Most people can't bag a deer for raffling the telescopic side.
00:03:55Oh, good eating.
00:03:57The best. Wild game.
00:03:58Lives naturally, eats naturally.
00:04:00Oh, it's beautiful.
00:04:03Oh.
00:04:04All right.
00:04:05All right.
00:04:09So, we're going to get an A for awesome.
00:04:13Oh, my gosh.
00:04:14That was fun.
00:04:17Hey, John.
00:04:18You know, Linda, you had her last semester.
00:04:20All right.
00:04:22She's one of my victims.
00:04:23Now I'm taking her home.
00:04:24She wanted to come by and say hello, goodbye.
00:04:26Is art as tough as I hear?
00:04:27Oh, archaeology's tough.
00:04:28Dr. Jenkins is a fine teacher.
00:04:31Oh, it's very politic.
00:04:32It's very true.
00:04:34Uh-huh.
00:04:35Something for you to read on the road, pal.
00:04:36Shadows of the Cave are parallels to early man Arthur M. Jenkins.
00:04:41Publish or perish?
00:04:42I'd rather read than write another one.
00:04:46Hi.
00:04:48Oh, everybody, this is Linda.
00:04:50Linda, this is everybody.
00:04:52Linda.
00:04:53Hi.
00:04:56So, where are you going, John, like we give a damn?
00:04:59We've already covered that.
00:05:00John's got itchy feet.
00:05:02There are over-the-counter remedies for that, John.
00:05:07So, there is a problem.
00:05:09No.
00:05:11I'd just like to move on now and then.
00:05:13It's a personal thing.
00:05:16Well, not to pry.
00:05:25I'm sorry, I don't have more to offer you.
00:05:28Got conversations and seats for your behinds.
00:05:31And, uh...
00:05:35Is he ducking out on us again?
00:05:39I do have this.
00:05:41Oh, Johnny Walker Green.
00:05:47I didn't even know they made it in green.
00:05:49What do they pay you?
00:05:50Nothing is too good for my friends.
00:05:52But I'm sorry we are down to plastic cups now.
00:05:55That's a sacrilege I'll tolerate.
00:05:57I will do the honors.
00:05:59Oh, come to Papa.
00:06:02Woo!
00:06:02Here, cups, cups.
00:06:03Here we go.
00:06:04Step on in here.
00:06:05All right, there you go.
00:06:07Happy birthday, boy.
00:06:08Here we go.
00:06:08Excuse me.
00:06:09Art!
00:06:09Not enough for me.
00:06:11Oh, no, I don't drink.
00:06:12We're not going to card you, darling.
00:06:14All right, here.
00:06:14Join the circle, at least.
00:06:15Come on.
00:06:17Well, uh, long life and good fortune to our esteemed friend and colleague, John Ullman.
00:06:24May find undeserved bliss wherever he goes.
00:06:27You're here.
00:06:28Let's go.
00:06:29Neslubia.
00:06:30Have some trouble, John.
00:06:31Mm-hmm.
00:06:38Oh, that's good.
00:06:39Excuse me.
00:06:42John, we're all sorry to see you go.
00:06:46Truly.
00:06:49Okay.
00:06:50Now we're done with that.
00:06:52What do we do for the rest of the afternoon?
00:06:54Anyone got a good topic?
00:06:55Like this, maybe?
00:06:57Heh.
00:06:57What is that?
00:06:58It's a burin.
00:06:59It's a parrot beak.
00:07:01Incline chisel point.
00:07:02Probably early Magdalene.
00:07:05May I see that?
00:07:06Sure.
00:07:13Yes, indeed.
00:07:14That's what it is.
00:07:16What's a burin?
00:07:17A burin is a flint tool for grooving wood and bone, antlers especially, to make spear and
00:07:23harpoon points.
00:07:24Magdaleneans weren't noted for flint work.
00:07:25So, this is a very nice specimen.
00:07:28Okay.
00:07:28What's a Magdalenean?
00:07:30A later crow magnet, without getting technical.
00:07:33It's the final culture of the Upper Paleolithic.
00:07:36Stones can speak, eh?
00:07:38So, where'd you get that done?
00:07:39Believe it or not, from a thrift shop.
00:07:41A quarter.
00:07:42You lucky dog.
00:07:44Me, I gotta go digging for this kind of stuff.
00:07:46Can I, uh...
00:07:47Yeah.
00:07:50Come on.
00:07:59Maybe, I'm glad you did this.
00:08:01Did what?
00:08:02You mean, come over?
00:08:05Maybe?
00:08:06Definitely.
00:08:07Gee, thanks.
00:08:08Well, so are we.
00:08:10So are we.
00:08:11We couldn't let you just run off.
00:08:13Thanks.
00:08:16John, what is up?
00:08:18Huh?
00:08:19Are you on America's Most Wanted?
00:08:20We won't turn you in.
00:08:21Yeah, come on.
00:08:22Out with it.
00:08:22You're among friends.
00:08:24Snoopy, friends.
00:08:25Forget it.
00:08:26You are creating the mystery here.
00:08:27Obviously, you have something you'd like to say.
00:08:29Say it.
00:08:33Maybe I...
00:08:34Ten, nine, eight, seven...
00:08:35Harry, stop.
00:08:38There is something I'm tempted to tell you, I think.
00:08:41I've never done this before.
00:08:42I wonder how it would pan out.
00:08:48I wonder if I could ask you a silly question.
00:08:50Well, John, we're teachers.
00:08:51We answer silly questions all the time.
00:08:53Hey.
00:08:55What if a man from the Upper Paleolithic survived until the present day?
00:09:00What do you mean, survived?
00:09:02Never died?
00:09:03Yes.
00:09:04What would he be like?
00:09:05Oh, I know some guys.
00:09:06You ever been to the Ozarks?
00:09:07No.
00:09:08It's an interesting idea.
00:09:10What are you, working on a science fiction story?
00:09:12Say I am.
00:09:13What would he be like?
00:09:15Pretty tired.
00:09:18Well, seriously, as Art's book title suggests, he might be like any of us.
00:09:24Dan, a caveman?
00:09:25Well, there's no anatomical difference between, say, a croak magnet and us.
00:09:29Except that as a rule, we've grown taller.
00:09:31What's the selective advantage of height?
00:09:34Better to see predators in tall grass, my dear.
00:09:37Absolutely tall and skinny.
00:09:39Yeah, it radiates heat more effectively in warmer climates.
00:09:42Yeah, and as for Neanderthals, I mean, we've all seen apish people.
00:09:45I mean, that's strange still with us.
00:09:46But he'd be a caveman.
00:09:48No, he wouldn't.
00:09:49John's hypothetical man would have lived through 140 centuries.
00:09:53Yeah, roughly.
00:09:53And changed with every one of them.
00:09:56I mean, assuming normal intelligence.
00:09:58Well, we think men of the Upper Paleolithic were as intelligent as we are.
00:10:02They just didn't know as much.
00:10:05John's man would have learned as a race learned.
00:10:07In fact, if he had an inquiring mind, his knowledge might be astonishing.
00:10:14If you do write that, let me have a look at it.
00:10:16I'm sure you'll make some anthropological boners.
00:10:18It's a deal.
00:10:20What would keep him alive?
00:10:21What does the biologist say?
00:10:24Cigarettes and ice cream.
00:10:27All right, all right, I'll play.
00:10:28I'll play.
00:10:29All right.
00:10:30In science fiction terms, I would say perfect regeneration of the body's cells, especially
00:10:40in the vital organs.
00:10:42Actually, the human body appears designed to live about 190 years.
00:10:46Most of us just die of slow poisoning.
00:10:49Maybe he did something right, something everybody else in history done wrong.
00:10:54What, like eat the food, drink the water, and breathe the air?
00:10:58And prior to modern times, those were pristine.
00:11:02We've extended our lifespan in a world that's not fit to live in.
00:11:08You know what could happen?
00:11:09Yeah, the pancreas turns over cells every 24 hours, the stomach lining in three days,
00:11:13the entire body in seven years.
00:11:15But the process falters.
00:11:17Waste accumulates, eventually proves fatal to function.
00:11:20Now, if a quirk in his immune system led to perfect detox, perfect renewal, then yeah,
00:11:26he could duck decay.
00:11:29That's a secret we'd all love to have.
00:11:31Would you really want to do that?
00:11:34Live 14,000 years?
00:11:35Well, if I could stay healthy and I didn't age, I mean, why not?
00:11:39Yeah.
00:11:40What a chance to learn.
00:11:42Is anyone hungry?
00:11:44Yeah.
00:11:45You know, the more I think about it, yeah, it's possible.
00:11:48Anything is possible, right?
00:11:49After all, one century's magic, another century's science.
00:11:52They thought Columbus was a nut job, right?
00:11:55Pasteur, Copernicus?
00:11:56Aristarchus long before that.
00:11:57Right.
00:11:59I had a chance to sail with Columbus, only I'm not the adventurous type.
00:12:03What?
00:12:04I was pretty sure the Earth was round, but it...
00:12:07At that point, I still thought he might fall off an edge someplace.
00:12:21Look around, John.
00:12:24We just did.
00:12:26I suppose there's a joke in there somewhere, but I don't get it.
00:12:29It's nothing to get.
00:12:31What are we talking about?
00:12:33We were just talking about a caveman who survives until the present time.
00:12:37And as you said, what a chance to learn, once I learned to learn.
00:12:42Did you start the whiskey before we got here?
00:12:47Pretend it's science fiction.
00:12:50Figure it out.
00:12:52Okay.
00:12:53A very old Cro-Magnon living until the present.
00:13:08John just confided in that he's 14,000 years old.
00:13:11Oh, John, you don't look a day over 900.
00:13:15Okay.
00:13:16All right, Spock, I'll play your little game.
00:13:18What do you want?
00:13:18What's the punchline?
00:13:20Every 10 years or so, when people start to notice I don't age, I move on.
00:13:28That's very good.
00:13:29That's very quick, John.
00:13:30I want to read that story when you're done.
00:13:32You want more?
00:13:33Oh, yeah, by all means.
00:13:34This is great.
00:13:35All right, now, so you think that you are a Cro-Magnon.
00:13:42Well, I didn't learn it in school.
00:13:43It's my best guess.
00:13:45Based on archaeological data, maps, anthropological research.
00:13:50Since Mesopotamia, I've got the last 4,000 years straight.
00:13:54Well, you're ahead of most people, so please go on.
00:13:57Well, you know the background stuff, so I'll make it brief.
00:14:00What I call my first lifetime, I aged to about 35.
00:14:04What you see, I ended up leading my group.
00:14:08They saw me as magical.
00:14:10I didn't even have to fight for it.
00:14:12Then fear came, and they chased me away.
00:14:16They thought that I was stealing their lives away to stay young.
00:14:20The prehistoric origin of the vampire myth, that is good.
00:14:23The first 1,000 years, I didn't know up from sideways.
00:14:26How do you know the first 1,000 years?
00:14:29I'm informed guess, based on what I've learned in my memories.
00:14:32Most people can scarcely remember their childhood, but you have memories of that time.
00:14:36Like yours, selected.
00:14:38You know, the high points, the low points, traumas, they stick in the mind forever.
00:14:42Put down at 3 or 35, you still feel the twinge.
00:14:49Go on.
00:14:50I kept getting chased, because I wouldn't die.
00:14:53So I got the hang of joining new groups, I found.
00:14:56I also got the idea of periodically moving on.
00:15:01We were semi-nomadic, of course, following the weather and the game we hunted.
00:15:05The first 2,000 years were cold.
00:15:07We learned it was warmer, lower elevations.
00:15:11Late glacial period, I saw.
00:15:14What was the terrain line?
00:15:17Mountainous.
00:15:19Vast plains to the west.
00:15:22West?
00:15:23That was something you learned in school.
00:15:25Towards the setting sun.
00:15:27I suspect I saw the British Isles from what is now the French coast.
00:15:33Huge mountains.
00:15:34On the other side of an enormous deep valley that was shadowed by the setting sun.
00:15:39This is before they were separated from the continent by rising seas, as glaciers melted.
00:15:44That happened?
00:15:46Yes, the end of the place to sin.
00:15:48So far what he says fits.
00:15:50Oh, yeah, into any textbook.
00:15:52And that's where I found it.
00:15:54How can I have knowledgeable recall if I didn't have knowledge?
00:15:58It's all retrospective.
00:16:00All I can do is integrate my recollections with modern findings.
00:16:04Caveman.
00:16:05You're gonna hit me over the head with a club and drag me into the bedroom?
00:16:09You'd be more fun-conscious.
00:16:11Oh, John.
00:16:11Let me get this straight.
00:16:12Now, we're not talking about reincarnation.
00:16:15You're not saying that you remember whatever the hell it would be, 200 separate lifetimes,
00:16:19dying and being born again, yada, yada.
00:16:22One lifetime.
00:16:24Some lifetime.
00:16:26Wow.
00:16:27Well, maybe there is something to this reincarnation thing.
00:16:30You're supposed to come back again and again, learn and learn,
00:16:32and somehow, John, you just managed to bypass all the other bodies.
00:16:36Well, what's the point?
00:16:41What about oceans?
00:16:43Didn't see them until much later.
00:16:45So how would you know an ocean from a lake?
00:16:47Big waves.
00:16:49Something else I can only surmise in retrospect.
00:16:52Were you curious about where it all came from?
00:16:55We would look up at the sky and wonder.
00:16:57There's gotta be some big guys up there.
00:16:59And what else made all this down here?
00:17:02At first, I thought there was something wrong with me.
00:17:05Maybe I was a bad guy for not dying.
00:17:09Then I began to wonder if I was cursed or perhaps blessed.
00:17:15And I thought maybe I had a mission.
00:17:18Do you still think you do?
00:17:20God works in mysterious ways.
00:17:22I think it just happened.
00:17:33Wow.
00:17:34Hello?
00:17:36Yes, Ellie.
00:17:38What's wrong?
00:17:40Sandy?
00:17:41Coming.
00:17:46Yeah?
00:17:47Do we have Ellie's midterm here?
00:17:49Oh.
00:17:51Yeah, sorry.
00:17:52I picked it up at the periodicals.
00:17:54Got it.
00:17:56No, you're worried about your parents?
00:17:57Don't worry.
00:17:59You passed.
00:17:59C plus.
00:18:01Take care of yourself.
00:18:03Good kid.
00:18:04What does pre-med need with history?
00:18:06Got it.
00:18:11Sorry, guys.
00:18:12John, please continue.
00:18:13Come on.
00:18:14I thought we were done with that.
00:18:15No.
00:18:16Let's go on with it.
00:18:18It's interesting.
00:18:19Besides, I think he's making a certain amount of sense.
00:18:22Right, like Hagel.
00:18:23Logic from absurd premises.
00:18:25That Van Gogh.
00:18:26Oh, he gave it to me.
00:18:28I was Jacques Bourne at the time.
00:18:31A pig farmer.
00:18:32A pig farmer?
00:18:33Oh, jeez.
00:18:35I like to work with my hands.
00:18:37He would come out to the place, paint.
00:18:39We talked about capturing nature and art.
00:18:41Turner, Suzanne, Pizarro.
00:18:44Oh, then all the landscapes.
00:18:46Not in Van Gogh's time.
00:18:47Oh.
00:18:47He would have loved them, though.
00:18:48Yes.
00:18:49Well, I don't understand why you can't remember where you're from.
00:18:54Geography hasn't changed.
00:18:55I learned that, and Professor...
00:18:57Professor Henson's tepid lectures.
00:18:59But you're right.
00:19:00Where did you live when you were five years old?
00:19:03Little Rock.
00:19:03Your mother, she took you to the market?
00:19:05Mm-hmm.
00:19:06What direction was it from your house?
00:19:09I don't know.
00:19:09How far?
00:19:11Um, three blocks.
00:19:12Were there any references that stuck in your mind?
00:19:15Well, there was a gas station and a big field.
00:19:18I was told I could never go there alone.
00:19:21And if you went back there today, would it be the same?
00:19:24No.
00:19:25I'm sure it's all different and built up.
00:19:27That's the saying.
00:19:28You can't go home again because it isn't there anymore.
00:19:31Pictured on my scale, I migrated through an endless flat space full of endless new things.
00:19:39Forests, mountains, tundra, canyons.
00:19:43My memory sees what I saw then.
00:19:46My eye sees freeways, urban sprawl, Big Macs under the Eiffel Tower.
00:19:53Early on, the world got bigger and bigger.
00:19:56And then, think what I've had to unlearn.
00:20:00And now you're moving on.
00:20:02As Edith said, this talk of my not aging.
00:20:05When that happens, I move on.
00:20:08Well, it might make sense to set up your next identity.
00:20:11Your next ten years and then just drop into it.
00:20:15I've done that a few times.
00:20:16Even passed as my own son.
00:20:18Oh, you're an engineer too.
00:20:20You're Ben's son.
00:20:21He was a good man.
00:20:22Saves trouble with credentials and references.
00:20:25On the other hand, I've been busted a few times.
00:20:28It's been a year in jail.
00:20:29Belgium, 1862.
00:20:31I won't forget that.
00:20:32For faking a government application.
00:20:35When did you come to America?
00:20:371890, right after Van Gogh's death.
00:20:39With some French immigrants moving on.
00:20:45An answer for every question.
00:20:48Except one, John.
00:20:50Why are you doing this?
00:20:53A whim.
00:20:55Maybe not such a good idea.
00:20:56I wanted to say goodbye to you as me.
00:21:01Not what you thought I was.
00:21:03Well, since this isn't funny, we think you might have a problem.
00:21:07A very serious problem.
00:21:10I've got boxes to move.
00:21:12I'll give you a hand.
00:21:15Would you have some relic?
00:21:18An artifact?
00:21:20A reminder of your early life?
00:21:22Like this, maybe.
00:21:24Thrift shop.
00:21:25Really.
00:21:28If you lived a hundred, a thousand years,
00:21:34would you still have this?
00:21:35What would cause you to keep it?
00:21:37As a memento to your beginnings,
00:21:39even if you didn't have the concept of beginnings?
00:21:42It would be gone.
00:21:44Lost.
00:21:46No.
00:21:46I don't have artifacts.
00:21:51Keep that.
00:21:55Interesting.
00:21:57You could have lied about that.
00:21:59Don't talk about me while I'm gone.
00:22:10Is he serious?
00:22:12If he is, I'm sorry to say.
00:22:15Well, how could he have concealed that for ten years?
00:22:18At least he doesn't appear to be dangerous.
00:22:22What are you doing?
00:22:24Checking for a hidden mic.
00:22:26Candid camera.
00:22:28He's fabricating these wild stories.
00:22:30I've never seen him acting like this.
00:22:32Oh, it's crazy.
00:22:35All right.
00:22:36All right.
00:22:36Well, as soon as you can, then.
00:22:45I love you, you know.
00:22:47I know.
00:22:51Since my first week at the office.
00:22:58And?
00:22:59I care very much about you.
00:23:02But now you know what you'd be getting into.
00:23:05Do you really think you're a caveman?
00:23:07Do you?
00:23:14Could you love me?
00:23:15Why don't you believe in that anymore?
00:23:19I've gotten over it too many times.
00:23:23Fond of you?
00:23:26Certainly attracted to you.
00:23:31That's it?
00:23:36I can work with that.
00:23:40If what I'm saying is true,
00:23:42you and any children will age,
00:23:45I won't.
00:23:46And one day I'll leave.
00:23:48Talk about your main December romances.
00:23:52The simple fact is I can't give you forever.
00:23:57How long is forever?
00:24:00Whoever really has it.
00:24:06My parents split up before I was born.
00:24:10Then my mom's next marriage lasted, what,
00:24:12a whole three years?
00:24:15Then there's death, illness, acts of God.
00:24:20No one knows how long they have.
00:24:24Or how little.
00:24:29I love you.
00:24:32Take whatever you can give.
00:24:37Like ten years?
00:24:49Why did you do that?
00:24:52I wanted to see how fast you were.
00:24:54Check your reflexes.
00:24:55I don't have eyes in the back of my head.
00:24:56I can't hear a flea walking.
00:24:58I am not in any way Superman.
00:25:00Yeah.
00:25:01Well, I'm a second degree black belt.
00:25:03Give it another thousand years.
00:25:06Hell.
00:25:07I got it, I got it, I got it.
00:25:10Jesus.
00:25:11Move demonstration, Harry.
00:25:12I sit on it, Dan.
00:25:15I still have questions.
00:25:17Yeah, I do too, John.
00:25:19I mean, are we done with prehistory yet?
00:25:22Remember any of your original language?
00:25:25A little.
00:25:25One thing hasn't changed much.
00:25:31Did you ever do any cave art?
00:25:33Do you know the rock art at L'Aziz?
00:25:35Mm-hmm.
00:25:36It was the work of a man named Gural.
00:25:41He did a pretty good job.
00:25:43He would draw the animals that we hoped to find to eat.
00:25:48One day after a fruitless hunt, our chief stomped his teeth out because his magic had failed him.
00:25:54After that, someone had to chew his food for him.
00:25:57Finally, he got, I suspect, an infected jaw.
00:26:01He was abandoned.
00:26:03That's awful.
00:26:05You have to know what to kill.
00:26:07Is this why all your students say your knowledge of history is so amazing?
00:26:12No, that's mostly based on study.
00:26:14Remember, it's one man, one place at a time.
00:26:18My solitary viewpoint of a world I knew almost nothing about.
00:26:22Well, let's talk about what you say you do know about.
00:26:26Historical times.
00:26:28Don't encourage him.
00:26:29You do.
00:26:30Next few thousand years, it got warmer.
00:26:33A few thousand years.
00:26:35See, now, I know you're guessing.
00:26:38You can't get there from here, Hart.
00:26:40Well, then, pray continue.
00:26:43We hunted reindeer, mammoths.
00:26:45Bison, horses.
00:26:48The game retreated northward as the climate changed.
00:26:50You got the idea of growing food rather than gathering it.
00:26:54Raising animals rather than hunting them.
00:26:56Am I getting warm here?
00:26:58I bet I am.
00:26:59Lakeside living becomes commonplace.
00:27:02Fishing, fouling.
00:27:03Come on!
00:27:04John, this is out of any textbook.
00:27:06Even yours.
00:27:07You got most of it right.
00:27:10Eventually, I had it to the east.
00:27:12I'd grown curious about the world.
00:27:14I'd gotten the hang of going it alone.
00:27:17Learning how to fit in when I wanted to.
00:27:20East.
00:27:22Towards the rising sun.
00:27:24Yes.
00:27:24I thought it might be warmer there.
00:27:28That's what I saw on the ocean.
00:27:32Mediterranean, probably.
00:27:34It was around the beginning of the Bronze Age.
00:27:36So I followed the trade routes from the east.
00:27:39Copper, tin.
00:27:40Learning languages as I went.
00:27:43Everywhere.
00:27:44Creation.
00:27:45Myths.
00:27:47New gods.
00:27:48So many.
00:27:49So different.
00:27:50And I finally realized that it was probably all hogwash.
00:27:55So I was Sumerian for 2,000 years.
00:27:57Then finally Babylonian.
00:27:59Hunter Hammurabi.
00:28:00Great man.
00:28:01And I sailed as a Phoenician for a time.
00:28:04See, moving on had been easier as a hunter-gatherer.
00:28:09Difficult when villages emerged.
00:28:11Tougher still in city-states where authority was centralized.
00:28:14Strangers were suspect.
00:28:17It seemed as though I was always moving on.
00:28:20I learned some new tricks.
00:28:22Even faked my death a couple of times.
00:28:27I continued east.
00:28:29To India.
00:28:31Luckily at the time of the Buddha.
00:28:35Luckily.
00:28:38Most extraordinary man I've ever known.
00:28:41He taught me things I'd never thought about before.
00:28:44You studied with the Buddha?
00:28:47Until he died.
00:28:49He knew there was something different about me.
00:28:52I never told him.
00:28:55This is fascinating.
00:28:57I almost wish it were true.
00:29:00If it was true.
00:29:03Why are you telling us?
00:29:04I mean we might leave here today.
00:29:05We'll go out there and tell everybody.
00:29:07It would vanish in disbelief.
00:29:09A story that goes around the room.
00:29:12No credibility.
00:29:14Even if I could make you believe me.
00:29:17In a month you wouldn't.
00:29:19Some of you would call me a psychopath.
00:29:21Others would be angry at a pointless joke.
00:29:24Well John.
00:29:24Some of us are angry now.
00:29:26This.
00:29:27This was a bad idea.
00:29:29I love you all.
00:29:30And I do not want to put you through anything.
00:29:32Then why are you doing it?
00:29:34Because I wanted to say goodbye.
00:29:36As yourself.
00:29:37Well I think you've done that.
00:29:38Whoever that self is.
00:29:39Easy Edith.
00:29:41But just grading his homework.
00:29:42I see what's going on.
00:29:44You're playing the good cop Dan.
00:29:45That's fine.
00:29:46Just enjoy it.
00:29:46I think this whole thing.
00:29:48Is just a crock.
00:29:50I should leave.
00:29:50But I'm going to stay.
00:29:51You know why?
00:29:52Because I want to see.
00:29:52What the hell this is all about.
00:29:54Yeah so do I.
00:29:54What is this all about?
00:29:55Well let's ask Dr. Freud.
00:29:56Who's just arrived.
00:29:57Hey Will.
00:29:59Will.
00:30:01Art.
00:30:03John.
00:30:05I'm glad I caught you.
00:30:06Someone mentioned that you were leaving today.
00:30:08Called you.
00:30:08Told you that I've lost it.
00:30:09I'm glad you're here.
00:30:10Things are going in unexpected directions.
00:30:12Yes.
00:30:13So I hear.
00:30:13Hi.
00:30:15Hi.
00:30:15Are you hungry?
00:30:16Ah thank you now.
00:30:18Whiskey.
00:30:19Johnny Walker Green.
00:30:20Oh yes.
00:30:25You look very familiar my dear.
00:30:27Linda Murphy.
00:30:28I'm in your Tuesday Psych One class.
00:30:30Dr. Gruber.
00:30:31Ah.
00:30:31Well this lesson may be something I could not have imagined.
00:30:36I regret being so obvious about this John.
00:30:41But these people are all very concerned for you.
00:30:44Yes.
00:30:45I'm cutting out paper dinosaurs.
00:30:47I really wish I'd been here from the beginning.
00:30:50Me too.
00:30:50Let me just say something right now.
00:30:53I mean there's absolutely no way in the whole world for John to prove his story to us.
00:30:58It's just like there's no way for us to disprove it.
00:31:01No matter how outrageous we think it is.
00:31:03No matter how highly trained some of us think we are.
00:31:06There's absolutely no way to disprove it.
00:31:09Our friend is either a caveman, liar or nut.
00:31:13So while we're thinking about that why don't we just go with it.
00:31:18I mean hell who knows.
00:31:19He might jolt us into believing him.
00:31:21Or we might jolt him back to reality.
00:31:23Believing?
00:31:24Who's reality?
00:31:26So you're a caveman.
00:31:28Yes.
00:31:30I was a Cro-Magnon I think.
00:31:33You don't know if you're a caveman or not?
00:31:35Well no I'm sure about that.
00:31:37A Cro-Magnon then.
00:31:38When did you first realize this?
00:31:40When the Cro-Magnon was first identified.
00:31:42When anthropology gave them a name I had mine.
00:31:46Well please continue.
00:31:48I'm sure you must have more to say.
00:31:50Would you like for me to lie on the couch doctor?
00:31:52As you wish.
00:31:55As a physician I'm curious.
00:31:58In this enormous lifetime you describe.
00:32:02Have you ever been ill?
00:32:03Sure.
00:32:04As much as anyone.
00:32:05Seriously ill?
00:32:07Sometime.
00:32:09Of what?
00:32:09Do you know?
00:32:10In prehistory I can't tell you.
00:32:12Maybe pneumonia once or twice.
00:32:15The last few hundred years.
00:32:17I've gotten over typhoid.
00:32:19Yellow fever.
00:32:21Smallpox.
00:32:22I survived the Black Plague.
00:32:24Bubonic.
00:32:25Well that's terrible.
00:32:27More so than history describes.
00:32:28And smallpox.
00:32:30But you're not scarred.
00:32:32I don't scar.
00:32:33No.
00:32:33John that is not possible.
00:32:34Please let's take John's story at face value and explore it from that perspective.
00:32:39If he doesn't scar it's no stranger than the rest of it.
00:32:42John would you please stop by my lab before you take off.
00:32:45Suffer a few tests from your friendly neighborhood biologist.
00:32:48I'm leery of labs.
00:32:49Afraid I might go in and stay for a thousand years while cigarette smoking men try to figure
00:32:53me out.
00:32:54You don't think that I would betray you in any way.
00:32:56No walls have ears.
00:32:57Medical tests might be a way of proving what you say.
00:33:00I don't want to prove it.
00:33:01So you're telling us this the yarn of the century and you don't care if we believe it
00:33:05or not.
00:33:05I guess I shouldn't have expected you to.
00:33:07You're not as crazy as you think I am.
00:33:09Amen.
00:33:10I've always liked you.
00:33:12Well thank you dear.
00:33:13Well that's changing.
00:33:14Oh surely you don't believe this nonsense.
00:33:15I think we should remain courteous to someone who we've known and trusted Edith.
00:33:19Here you sit.
00:33:20You can't break his story.
00:33:22All you can do is thumb your nose at it.
00:33:25Is that what you're doing John?
00:33:27Are you laughing at us inside?
00:33:29I wish you didn't feel that way.
00:33:30Well what you're saying it offends common sense.
00:33:33So does relativity.
00:33:34Quantum mechanics.
00:33:35That's the way nature works.
00:33:38But your story doesn't fit into nature as we know it.
00:33:41But we know so little Dan.
00:33:44We know so little.
00:33:45I mean how many of you know five geniuses in your field that you disagree with?
00:33:49One you would like to strangle.
00:33:52Strangle them all.
00:33:53Damn it Dan.
00:33:53That's bad enough we have to listen to Harry's idiotic jokes.
00:33:56Thank you very much Edith.
00:33:57Maybe when I'm 110 I'll be as smart as you are.
00:33:59If you lived as long as John did you still wouldn't grow up.
00:34:02Oh come on guys.
00:34:03Take it easy.
00:34:04How often do we get to meet someone who says he's a stone age man?
00:34:10He wants us enough.
00:34:12Edith.
00:34:13All right.
00:34:14A guy with your mind you would have studied a great deal.
00:34:17I have 10 degrees.
00:34:19Including all of yours.
00:34:21Except yours well.
00:34:23That makes me feel a trifle Lilliputian.
00:34:25That's over the span of 170 years.
00:34:27I got my biology degree at Oxford in 1840.
00:34:31So I'm a little behind the times.
00:34:33The same in other areas.
00:34:34I can't keep up with the new stuff that comes along.
00:34:36No one can.
00:34:37Not even in their specialties.
00:34:38So much for the myth of the super wise all-knowing immortal.
00:34:42I see your point John.
00:34:44No matter how long a man lives he can't be in advance of his times.
00:34:48He can't know more than the best of the race knows.
00:34:51If that.
00:34:52I mean when the world learned it was round you learned it.
00:34:55It took some time.
00:34:57News traveled slowly.
00:34:58Poor communications were fancy.
00:35:00There were social obstacles.
00:35:03Preconceptions.
00:35:04Screams from the church.
00:35:0610 doctorates.
00:35:07That's impressive John.
00:35:08Did you teach them?
00:35:09Some.
00:35:10But you might have all done the same.
00:35:13Living 14,000 years didn't make me a genius.
00:35:15I just had time.
00:35:18Time.
00:35:19We can't see it.
00:35:20We can't hear it.
00:35:21We can't weigh it.
00:35:21We can't measure it in a laboratory.
00:35:24It's a subjective sense of becoming what we are.
00:35:29Instead of what we were a nanosecond ago,
00:35:32becoming what we will be in another nanosecond.
00:35:34The whole BC time is a landscape existing before and behind us.
00:35:38And we move through it slice by slice.
00:35:43Clocks measure time.
00:35:44No, they measure themselves.
00:35:46The objective referent of a clock is another clock.
00:35:48Very interesting.
00:35:49What has it got to do with John?
00:35:50Oh, he might be a man who lives outside of time as we know it.
00:36:00Yes, well, people do go around armed these days.
00:36:05If I shot you, John, you're immortal.
00:36:09Would you survive this?
00:36:11I never said I was immortal.
00:36:12Just don't.
00:36:13Well, I might die.
00:36:15And then you could wander the rest of your incarcerated life what you shot.
00:36:20Oh, may I?
00:36:25Preferable to a gun.
00:36:27Well, that was a bit much.
00:36:29Oh, books, doctorates.
00:36:34Yes, you have grown and changed.
00:36:38But there is always innate nature.
00:36:42Wouldn't you be more comfortable squatting in the backyard?
00:36:44Sometimes I do, Will.
00:36:46Look up at the stars, wonder.
00:36:48And what did primitive man make of them?
00:36:51A great mystery.
00:36:53There were gods up there that shamans who knew about them told us.
00:36:57They still do.
00:37:00Have you ever wished it would end?
00:37:05No.
00:37:0614,000 years.
00:37:08Injuries, illness, disasters.
00:37:11You've survived them all.
00:37:14You're a very lucky man.
00:37:21Come in.
00:37:25John Oldman?
00:37:27Yes.
00:37:28Charity now.
00:37:29We're here to pick up the furniture.
00:37:30It's all yours.
00:37:32Here, take this chair.
00:37:33I'm going to go drink in the corner.
00:37:36You're, uh, donating it?
00:37:40Everything?
00:37:41I'll get more.
00:37:42He always traveled his life.
00:37:43It's the only way to move.
00:37:49You've talked a good deal about your extraordinary amount of living.
00:37:54What do you think of dying, John?
00:37:56Do you fear death?
00:37:58I wouldn't.
00:37:58How did primitive man regard death?
00:38:01Well, we had the practical concept.
00:38:04Stopped.
00:38:05Fell down.
00:38:06Didn't get up.
00:38:07Started to smell bad.
00:38:08Come apart.
00:38:10Injuries we could understand if someone's insides were all over the ground.
00:38:15Infections.
00:38:17They were, uh, mysterious.
00:38:21Aging.
00:38:22Biggest mystery of all.
00:38:24You realize you were different?
00:38:26The longer to realize how I was different.
00:38:29To find a way to synthesize my experience into a view of myself.
00:38:34At first I thought everybody had something wrong with them.
00:38:38They got old and they died.
00:38:40Animals too.
00:38:41But not me.
00:38:47Oh, forgive me, my dear.
00:38:49You live simply.
00:38:50I've owned castles, but I leave a lot if you're always leaving.
00:38:54I have money.
00:38:55What, did you get into AT&T at 50 cents, John?
00:39:00As one grows older, the days, weeks, months go by more quickly.
00:39:07What does a day, or a year, or a century mean to you?
00:39:13The birth-death cycle?
00:39:16Turbulence.
00:39:17I meet someone.
00:39:19When the names say a word, they're gone.
00:39:22Others come like waves, rise, fall.
00:39:28Ripples in a wheat field, blown by the wind.
00:39:30You ever get tired of it all?
00:39:32I get bored now and then.
00:39:34They keep making the same stupid mistakes, over and over.
00:39:38They?
00:39:39Then you see yourself as separate from the rest of humanity.
00:39:44I didn't mean it that way.
00:39:47But, of course, I am.
00:39:52Are you comfortable knowing that you have lived while everyone you knew, everyone you knew, John, has died?
00:40:00I've regretted losing people.
00:40:02Often.
00:40:02Have you ever felt guilt about that?
00:40:05Something akin to survivor's guilt?
00:40:08In a strict psychological sense?
00:40:09I suppose I have.
00:40:11Yeah.
00:40:14Well, what can I do about it?
00:40:18Indeed.
00:40:20I'm sorry, man.
00:40:22Gentlemen, I'm going to keep the couch.
00:40:25Thanks.
00:40:26Ladies?
00:40:27Will?
00:40:27Oh, no.
00:40:28You've got a heart condition? Don't grump about it.
00:40:31Hey, how about changing the subject, Will? Enough with the dye?
00:40:34But this is the flip side of his coin, Harry.
00:40:38I'm very curious to know his feelings.
00:40:40Would you prefer I asked him about his father?
00:40:43I thought you always started with, tell me about your mother.
00:40:45Yes, but prehistory was strongly patriarchal.
00:40:50Surely you remember your father.
00:40:52I seem to remember a figure.
00:40:56Perhaps an older brother, a social father, maybe.
00:40:58Well, no matter.
00:41:00I could scarcely remember mine.
00:41:04Do you feel a vacancy in your life about that, John?
00:41:09Something you wish could be filled by a face, a voice, an image?
00:41:16Not at this late date.
00:41:18There must be someone, probably many, that you valued intensely.
00:41:22Loved.
00:41:23You saw them age and die.
00:41:26A friend, a colleague, a wife.
00:41:31Certainly you've had wives and children.
00:41:33I'd move on.
00:41:35I had to move on.
00:41:37Making him history's biggest bigamist.
00:41:40Have you ever in your life thought it should have been me?
00:41:47Maybe.
00:41:47Your art has told me that some of your early fellows feared you were stealing their lives?
00:41:54Have you thought that perhaps you were?
00:41:57Perhaps you are.
00:41:58There have always been legends of such a thing.
00:42:01A creature, not quite human.
00:42:04Taking not the blood, but the life force itself.
00:42:07My God, Will.
00:42:10Unconsciously, perhaps, by some biological or psychic mechanism that we can only guess at.
00:42:18I'm not saying you would do such a thing deliberately.
00:42:20I'm not saying that you would even know how to.
00:42:23Would you?
00:42:27But would such a thing be fair?
00:42:29So you believe me then?
00:42:31I'm only exploring what you have said.
00:42:34Whether I believe it or not is of no importance.
00:42:38We will die.
00:42:40You will live.
00:42:42Will you come to my funeral, John?
00:42:44It will.
00:42:45You've gone too far.
00:42:46John didn't ask to be what he is.
00:42:48And we did not ask to hear about it.
00:42:52But if it were true, is there one among us who would not feel envy?
00:42:57Even perhaps a touch of hatred?
00:43:00You told us of yourself, John.
00:43:03Can you imagine how we feel?
00:43:05I never thought of that.
00:43:06Since you may not die, while me most assuredly will, there must be a reason for that, no?
00:43:14Perhaps you are an expert.
00:43:17Uh, that's it, Mr. Oldman.
00:43:19Have a good one.
00:43:21You too.
00:43:25Or are you a vampire, John?
00:43:28Even an unknowing one.
00:43:31Do you stand alive and tall in a graveyard that you helped to fill?
00:43:35That's going too far.
00:43:36You're bored.
00:43:37Perhaps lonely because your heart cannot keep its treasures.
00:43:42Is that what you're doing?
00:43:45Have you led a wrongful life?
00:43:48Well, then, perhaps, it is time to die.
00:43:54Oh, wait a minute.
00:43:55Now, look, I don't know what John is doing.
00:43:58But I sure as hell don't like what you're doing.
00:44:00Now, you give me that gun or I'm going to break your goddamn arm.
00:44:03Well, you sound like our football coach, Dan.
00:44:06What do you think, John?
00:44:08A shot to the arm?
00:44:10Perhaps we could watch it heal.
00:44:13A bullet in the head.
00:44:15What exactly will happen?
00:44:23I have papers to correct.
00:44:25As much as I dislike that job,
00:44:28it will be preferable to this.
00:44:32I leave you with it.
00:44:37Jesus Christ.
00:44:40What the hell was that all about?
00:44:41Where did he get a gun?
00:44:42We had you on the ropes, John.
00:44:44You're really so damn smart.
00:44:46It's not like Will.
00:44:49Mary passed away yesterday.
00:44:53Who?
00:44:56His wife.
00:44:58She had pancreatic cancer.
00:45:02Will.
00:45:04I didn't know about Mary.
00:45:06I'm sorry.
00:45:07I can see how this might have hit you.
00:45:10Please.
00:45:11Permit me to be infantile by myself.
00:45:14Will.
00:45:15Please.
00:45:33What the hell were you thinking, Art?
00:45:34Oh, come on.
00:45:35Something had to be done?
00:45:36I have to say I agree.
00:45:37Man, he's our friend.
00:45:39Whatever else on earth is going on,
00:45:41he's our friend.
00:45:42You sure about that?
00:45:43Why the hell are you being so hard on him, Earth?
00:45:45One of my favorite people has disappeared.
00:45:49Can you get Alzheimer's at 35?
00:45:52Maybe I'm trying to wake him up.
00:45:56Maybe I'm too sad to cry.
00:46:02What I said about myself hurt him.
00:46:05He struck back.
00:46:07Expertly.
00:46:08That stuff about stealing life forces.
00:46:11I've always wondered about the reasons.
00:46:21Well, still have an afternoon to kill, right?
00:46:26Charades?
00:46:30No, John.
00:46:31I have a charade, and it's just for you.
00:46:33All right?
00:46:34Sandy, come here.
00:46:35No, come on, come on, come on.
00:46:37Okay, this one's for you.
00:46:38All right?
00:46:39Ready?
00:46:55My first wedding?
00:46:56There you go.
00:46:58There you go.
00:47:00Very good, and I bet at least one of us
00:47:01is your direct descendant.
00:47:03Yeah, I'd even send a Christmas card.
00:47:05Christmas card?
00:47:05What about a birthday card?
00:47:07And don't even get me started on the candles
00:47:09with the blowing and the...
00:47:11For years with the blowing.
00:47:15Yeah, all right, I tried.
00:47:18Well, uh, call me underdeveloped,
00:47:21but I'd like to hear more.
00:47:25Me too.
00:47:26More.
00:47:28Do you double damn swear
00:47:29this isn't some cockamamie science fiction story
00:47:31you're pulling on us?
00:47:34Next question.
00:47:36You, you, you realize this is an invitation
00:47:39to men in white suits with happy pills?
00:47:41Well, think about it.
00:47:42A mechanism allowing survival
00:47:44for thousands of years?
00:47:46Run out of room even faster.
00:47:48Well, then we'd have to go to Mars
00:47:49as a colony, as we expand it,
00:47:51as we'd have to.
00:47:52Not like that.
00:47:54On a planet of another star?
00:47:55I envy you.
00:47:58Did he have a pet dinosaur?
00:48:00They were a little bit before my time.
00:48:02At least something is.
00:48:04I doubt you could give us
00:48:05a thousand details, John,
00:48:06corroborating your story.
00:48:08From the Madeline to the Buddha to now.
00:48:10Ten thousand.
00:48:11And you could say out of the books.
00:48:14It's getting chilly.
00:48:16Here.
00:48:16Over here, join me.
00:48:20Well, that raises an interesting question, John.
00:48:24Could there be others like you
00:48:25who escaped the aging process that you have?
00:48:28Representing something terrific
00:48:29we don't even know about biology.
00:48:30Learning all the time.
00:48:31Yeah, but how would he know?
00:48:32He doesn't wear an armband,
00:48:33an ID badge,
00:48:34saying yabba-dabba-doo.
00:48:36There was a man in the 1600s
00:48:38that I met.
00:48:39Where were you in 1292 A.D.?
00:48:41Where were you a year ago on this date?
00:48:46Anyway, it was the 1600s.
00:48:49I met a man and I had a hunch
00:48:50that he was like me.
00:48:53So I told him.
00:48:54Ah.
00:48:55See, you said this was a first.
00:48:58I forgot.
00:48:59A crack in your story, John.
00:49:00A touch of senility.
00:49:03Anyway, he said yes.
00:49:04But from another time, another place.
00:49:07We talked for two days.
00:49:09It was all pretty convincing,
00:49:10but we couldn't be sure.
00:49:12We each confirmed what the others said,
00:49:14but how did we know
00:49:15if the confirmation was genuine
00:49:17or an echo?
00:49:19I knew I was kosher,
00:49:21but I thought,
00:49:22maybe he's playing a game on me.
00:49:25You know, a scholar of all we spoke about.
00:49:28He said he was inclined
00:49:29to the same reservation.
00:49:31Oh, that's interesting.
00:49:32Just as we can never be sure,
00:49:34even if we wanted to.
00:49:35I mean, if we were sure,
00:49:37you couldn't be sure of that.
00:49:39We parted, agreeing to keep in touch.
00:49:41Of course, we didn't.
00:49:43And 200 years later,
00:49:44I thought I saw him
00:49:45at a train station in Brussels.
00:49:48Lost him in the crowd.
00:49:49Oh, what a shame.
00:49:51I mean, if it were true.
00:49:53Okay, here's one for you.
00:49:55What do you do in your spare time?
00:49:58Oh, every 50 years or so,
00:49:59when I want to get away from the rush,
00:50:01I go down to a primitive tribe
00:50:03in New Guinea
00:50:03where I'm worshipped
00:50:04as an immortal god.
00:50:06They have a huge statue of me.
00:50:08It's a big party.
00:50:10I've got a lot of pictures of it,
00:50:11but I've already packed them up.
00:50:12I'm sorry.
00:50:13I won't make the obvious nasty crack
00:50:15about more unwashed cavemen.
00:50:18Actually, bathing was the style
00:50:19until the Middle Ages,
00:50:20and the church told us
00:50:21it was sinful
00:50:21to wash away God's dirt.
00:50:24So people were sewn
00:50:25into their underwear in October,
00:50:26and they popped out in April.
00:50:28You said you just happened.
00:50:30I don't believe that.
00:50:32If your story's true,
00:50:34why did God allow you to have them?
00:50:37That makes an interesting point.
00:50:39Are you religious, John?
00:50:41I don't follow a known religion.
00:50:43No.
00:50:44Ever.
00:50:45Long time ago, I did.
00:50:47Like most people.
00:50:49Some just never get over it.
00:50:51Do you believe in God?
00:50:54As Laplace said,
00:50:55I have no need of that hypothesis.
00:50:58He may be around, though.
00:51:00He's everywhere.
00:51:00We just can't see him.
00:51:03If this was the best I could do,
00:51:05I'd be hiding, too.
00:51:06And creation.
00:51:08It's here.
00:51:08I'm not so sure it was created.
00:51:10What, then?
00:51:11Maybe it's just accumulated fields,
00:51:14affecting fields.
00:51:15What about the source
00:51:16of the field energies?
00:51:18Wouldn't that imply a prime mover?
00:51:20I'd wonder about the source
00:51:21of the prime mover,
00:51:22infinite regress,
00:51:23but that doesn't imply anything to me.
00:51:26Back to the mystery.
00:51:27Well, it's a very old question,
00:51:29but there's no answer
00:51:31except in religious terms.
00:51:33If you have faith,
00:51:35it's answered.
00:51:36Did you ever meet
00:51:37any person from our religious history?
00:51:39A biblical figure?
00:51:41In a way.
00:51:43Who?
00:51:45We should skip this one.
00:51:46No, no, no.
00:51:47Skip it.
00:51:47Come on.
00:51:48Next question.
00:51:49No, come on.
00:51:50Come on, John.
00:51:51You can't let this drop.
00:51:52Come on, spit it out.
00:51:53Good Lord.
00:51:54You were one of them.
00:51:54This is going in a direction
00:51:56that I didn't expect.
00:51:58I hoped it wouldn't.
00:51:59We call it a night.
00:52:01Come on.
00:52:02You were someone
00:52:02in religious history?
00:52:05Yes.
00:52:06In the Bible?
00:52:07Yes.
00:52:08Someone we know?
00:52:09How could we not know
00:52:10someone in the Bible?
00:52:11I mean, somebody important.
00:52:12You may think you know him,
00:52:14but it's mostly myth.
00:52:15The entire Bible
00:52:16is mostly myth and allegory
00:52:19with maybe some basis
00:52:21in historical events.
00:52:24You were part of that history?
00:52:27Yes.
00:52:29Moses.
00:52:30Moses was based on Mises,
00:52:33a Syrian myth.
00:52:34In their earlier versions,
00:52:36all found floating on water
00:52:38a staff that changed to a snake,
00:52:41waters that were parted
00:52:42so followers could be led to freedom
00:52:44and even receive laws
00:52:46on stone or wooden tablets.
00:52:48One of the apostles.
00:52:51They weren't really apostles.
00:52:53They didn't do any real teaching.
00:52:56Peter the fisherman learned
00:52:57a little more about fishing.
00:52:59How do you know that?
00:53:03The mythical overlay
00:53:04is so enormous
00:53:07and not good.
00:53:09The truth is so,
00:53:13so simple.
00:53:16A new testament
00:53:17in a hundred words or less.
00:53:19You ready?
00:53:20I don't think I want to hear this, Harry.
00:53:22Will you take me home?
00:53:23No.
00:53:23Not right now.
00:53:24I do want to hear this.
00:53:24Sit down, Edith.
00:53:25You act like you believe him.
00:53:27It's sacrilege.
00:53:29How can it be sacrilege?
00:53:30He hasn't said anything yet.
00:53:31The new New Testament
00:53:32is sacrilege.
00:53:33There have been a dozen
00:53:34new New Testaments,
00:53:36from Hebrew to Greek
00:53:37to Latin to Tyndale,
00:53:39all the way to King James.
00:53:41All revisionist
00:53:42and all called revealed truth.
00:53:44I mean,
00:53:45a new New Testament
00:53:46in a hundred words.
00:53:48I can give you
00:53:48the Ten Commandments
00:53:49in ten words.
00:53:50Don't.
00:53:51Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
00:53:54Don't.
00:53:55The Commandments
00:53:56are just modern updates
00:53:57and more ancient laws
00:53:58and Morabi's code.
00:54:00That's right.
00:54:01And they weren't the first, right?
00:54:03Edith,
00:54:04I was raised on the Torah,
00:54:06my wife in the Koran,
00:54:07my oldest son is an atheist,
00:54:08my youngest is a Scientologist,
00:54:10my daughter
00:54:10is studying Hinduism.
00:54:12I imagine
00:54:13that there is room there
00:54:14for a holy war
00:54:15in my living room.
00:54:17But we practice
00:54:17live and let live.
00:54:20Why don't you sit down?
00:54:29What is your preferred
00:54:30version of the Bible?
00:54:31The King James, of course.
00:54:33It's the most modern,
00:54:34the work of great scholars.
00:54:36Modern is good.
00:54:39All right, John,
00:54:40hit us with the short form.
00:54:43Guy met the Buddha.
00:54:44Liked what he heard.
00:54:45Thought about it for a while.
00:54:47Say 500 years
00:54:48while he returned
00:54:49to the Mediterranean.
00:54:51Became an Etruscan.
00:54:52Seeped into the Roman Empire.
00:54:54He didn't like
00:54:55what they became.
00:54:56A giant killing machine.
00:54:59He went to the Near East
00:55:00thinking,
00:55:00why not pass
00:55:01the Buddha's teachings on
00:55:02in a modern form?
00:55:03So he tried.
00:55:05One dissident against Rome.
00:55:08Rome won.
00:55:09The rest is history.
00:55:11Sort of.
00:55:11A lot of fairy tales
00:55:12mixed in.
00:55:16I knew it.
00:55:18He's saying he was Christ.
00:55:20Oh, no.
00:55:21That's the metal
00:55:22they pinned on Jesus
00:55:22to fulfill prophecy.
00:55:24The crucifixion.
00:55:25He blocked the pain,
00:55:26as he had learned to do
00:55:28in Tibet and India.
00:55:29He also learned
00:55:30to slow his body processes
00:55:32down to the point
00:55:32where they were undetectable.
00:55:35They thought he was dead.
00:55:36So his followers
00:55:37pulled him from the cross,
00:55:38placed him in a cave,
00:55:39his body normalized
00:55:41as he had trained it to.
00:55:43He attempted to go away
00:55:45undetected,
00:55:46but some devotees
00:55:47were standing watch.
00:55:50Tried to explain.
00:55:52They were ecstatic.
00:55:55Thus, I was resurrected,
00:55:57and I ascended
00:55:58to Central Europe
00:55:59to get away
00:56:00as far as possible.
00:56:01You don't mean
00:56:03a word to this,
00:56:03John, my God.
00:56:04Why are you doing this?
00:56:06Let me see your wrists.
00:56:08I don't scar.
00:56:09Besides,
00:56:10they tied me,
00:56:11but nails and blood
00:56:12make better religious art.
00:56:15All the speculations
00:56:16about Jesus.
00:56:17He was black,
00:56:18he was Asian,
00:56:19he was a blue-eyed Aryan
00:56:21with a golden beard
00:56:22and hair
00:56:22straight out of
00:56:23Adalas Asunas.
00:56:24He was a benevolent alien.
00:56:25He never existed at all.
00:56:27Now he's a caveman.
00:56:29The Christ figure
00:56:30goes all the way
00:56:31back to Krishna.
00:56:32Hercules, of course.
00:56:33Hercules?
00:56:34Born of a virgin,
00:56:35Alcmene.
00:56:36A god for a father,
00:56:38Zeus,
00:56:40the only begotten,
00:56:42the savior,
00:56:43the Greek Soter,
00:56:45the good shepherd,
00:56:46the prince of peace,
00:56:47bringing gentle persuasion
00:56:48and divine wisdom.
00:56:50He died,
00:56:51joined his father
00:56:52on Olympus
00:56:53a thousand years
00:56:54before Gethsemane.
00:56:55How can you compare
00:56:57pagan mythology
00:56:58to the true word?
00:57:00He damned closely,
00:57:01I'd say.
00:57:02The early Christian leaders,
00:57:04they threw away
00:57:05Hebrew manuscripts
00:57:06and borrowed from
00:57:07pagan sources
00:57:08all over the place.
00:57:09Do you realize how
00:57:12inconsiderately
00:57:13you're treating
00:57:13my feelings?
00:57:14Yeah,
00:57:15about as inconsiderately
00:57:16as we're treating
00:57:17John's.
00:57:18Well, he does,
00:57:18he does believe
00:57:19what he's saying.
00:57:20Do you believe literally
00:57:21everything in the Bible,
00:57:22Edith?
00:57:22Yes.
00:57:24Before you say it,
00:57:25I know it's undergone
00:57:26a lot of changes,
00:57:27but God has spoken
00:57:29through man
00:57:30to make his word clearer.
00:57:32He couldn't get it right
00:57:33the first time?
00:57:34We're imperfect.
00:57:35He had to work
00:57:37to make us understand.
00:57:38He couldn't get us right
00:57:39the first time,
00:57:40Edith?
00:57:41Taken alone,
00:57:42the philosophical teachings
00:57:43of Jesus
00:57:44are Buddhism
00:57:45with a Hebrew accent,
00:57:46kindness,
00:57:47tolerance,
00:57:48brotherhood,
00:57:49love,
00:57:50a ruthless realism,
00:57:51acknowledging that life
00:57:52is as it is
00:57:53here on earth,
00:57:53here and now.
00:57:54The kingdom of God,
00:57:56meaning goodness,
00:57:58is right here
00:57:59where it should be.
00:58:01I am what I am becoming.
00:58:03That's where
00:58:04the Buddha brought it.
00:58:05And that's what I taught.
00:58:06But a talking snake
00:58:07made a lady eat an apple,
00:58:09so we're screwed.
00:58:10Heaven and hell
00:58:11were peddled
00:58:12so priests could rule
00:58:13through seduction
00:58:14and terror,
00:58:15save our souls
00:58:16that we never lost
00:58:17in the first place.
00:58:18I threw a clean pass,
00:58:20they ran it out
00:58:21of the ballpark.
00:58:23This is blasphemy.
00:58:25It's horrible.
00:58:26Who else were you?
00:58:27Solomon?
00:58:28Elvis?
00:58:29Jack the Ripper?
00:58:30It's been said
00:58:31that Buddha and Jesus
00:58:32would laugh or cry
00:58:34if they known
00:58:34what was done
00:58:35in their name.
00:58:36And if there is
00:58:37a creator,
00:58:37I'd probably feel
00:58:38the same way.
00:58:39I see ceremony,
00:58:42ritual,
00:58:42processions,
00:58:43genuflecting,
00:58:44moaning,
00:58:45intoning,
00:58:45venerating,
00:58:46cookies and wine.
00:58:47and I think
00:58:50it's not what
00:58:51I had in mind.
00:58:52That's Vatican flapdoodle.
00:58:53It doesn't have
00:58:54a thing to do
00:58:54with God.
00:58:55As you said,
00:58:56John,
00:58:56everywhere religions,
00:58:58from exalting life
00:58:59to purging joy
00:59:00is a sin.
00:59:02Rome does it
00:59:03as grand opera.
00:59:05A simple path
00:59:06to goodness
00:59:07needs a supernatural
00:59:08road path.
00:59:09Supernatural.
00:59:11A stupid word.
00:59:14Anything that happens,
00:59:15happens within nature
00:59:16whether we believe it
00:59:17or not.
00:59:18Like a 14,000-year-old
00:59:19caveman.
00:59:29I drove for a while
00:59:31and then I sat
00:59:32for a while.
00:59:33I'm so ashamed.
00:59:35And I'm freezing.
00:59:37We'll come inside.
00:59:38I still don't believe you,
00:59:39of course.
00:59:40You need help.
00:59:41Everybody needs help.
00:59:42Yes, well,
00:59:43some more than others.
00:59:58From the Buddha
00:59:59to the cross.
01:00:00I have always imagined
01:00:02both as entirely mythic.
01:00:05But I would like
01:00:06to hear more.
01:00:07May I lie on the couch
01:00:09for a moment?
01:00:10I'm not as young
01:00:11as I used to be.
01:00:15Oh!
01:00:19So,
01:00:20you were Jesus.
01:00:23Well, perhaps
01:00:24somebody had to be
01:00:25for better or for worse.
01:00:26The jury is still out.
01:00:27When did you begin
01:00:29to believe
01:00:29you were Jesus?
01:00:31When did you begin
01:00:32to believe
01:00:32you were a psychiatrist?
01:00:33Since I graduated
01:00:36Harvard Medical School
01:00:37and finished my residency,
01:00:38I've had that feeling.
01:00:40I sometimes dream about it.
01:00:42Have you acted
01:00:43upon this belief?
01:00:44I had a private practice
01:00:46for a while
01:00:46and then I taught.
01:00:48Nothing unusual.
01:00:50Until one day
01:00:51I met a caveman
01:00:53who thought
01:00:53he was Jesus.
01:00:56Do you find
01:00:57that unusual?
01:00:58Very.
01:00:59I would stake
01:00:59my reputation
01:01:00he is as sane
01:01:01as I am.
01:01:03So why does he persist
01:01:04in such a story?
01:01:05There must be
01:01:06a reason, no?
01:01:07Unless I imagined it all?
01:01:09Is that possible?
01:01:11I think you're
01:01:12as sane as he is.
01:01:13Oh, God.
01:01:14I...
01:01:15No.
01:01:17Did you ever find
01:01:19it prudent
01:01:19to worship yourself
01:01:21rather than
01:01:21be thought a heretic?
01:01:22That would be something.
01:01:24Other times
01:01:25Christianity
01:01:25was considered heresy.
01:01:27I had to pretend
01:01:27other faiths.
01:01:28And what does
01:01:29Jesus have to say
01:01:31to those present
01:01:32who find it difficult
01:01:33to believe in him?
01:01:35Believe in what
01:01:36he tried to teach
01:01:38without rigmarole.
01:01:39Piety is not
01:01:40what the lessons
01:01:41bring to people.
01:01:42It's the mistake
01:01:42they bring to the lessons.
01:01:52Well, it's
01:01:53getting to be night.
01:01:56I still have stuff
01:01:57to carry
01:01:58on a long drive.
01:02:01I'll help.
01:02:02John,
01:02:03do you have a
01:02:04destination in mind?
01:02:07Never mind.
01:02:09I won't ask.
01:02:20Anyone mentally ill
01:02:22can imagine
01:02:22a fantastic background
01:02:24even an entire life
01:02:26and sincerely believe it.
01:02:28The man who thinks
01:02:29he is Napoleon
01:02:30does believe it.
01:02:32His true identity
01:02:33has taken a backseat
01:02:35to his delusion
01:02:36and the need for it.
01:02:38If that's the case
01:02:39with John,
01:02:40there is a grave disorder.
01:02:42Organized brilliantly.
01:02:44He's got an answer
01:02:46for everything.
01:02:46It might involve
01:02:47rejection of his
01:02:49father
01:02:49of his entire
01:02:50early past
01:02:51replaced by this fantasy.
01:02:53He says he can't
01:02:54remember his father.
01:02:54Yeah, precisely.
01:02:55Why?
01:02:56You said he was sane.
01:02:57Did I?
01:03:00Do you think
01:03:00that perhaps
01:03:01our caveman
01:03:02has a monkey
01:03:03on his back?
01:03:05Drugs?
01:03:06No, no, no, no.
01:03:07I've done a lot
01:03:08of consulting work
01:03:09with the narcotics division.
01:03:10I've seen people
01:03:11tripping, strung out,
01:03:12whatever's up with John.
01:03:13It isn't that.
01:03:14I've looked for signs.
01:03:15None.
01:03:16Could cavemen
01:03:17really talk?
01:03:18Well, we think
01:03:18that language
01:03:19came into existence
01:03:2060,000 years ago.
01:03:21The structure
01:03:22of Stone Age culture
01:03:23is evidence
01:03:24of the ability
01:03:25to communicate verbally.
01:03:29Oh, shit.
01:03:30Oh, shit.
01:03:40Maybe it'd be easier
01:03:41if I were.
01:03:42Crazy?
01:03:44No.
01:03:47No.
01:03:59It is fascinating,
01:04:01isn't it?
01:04:02A brave attempt
01:04:03to teach Buddhism
01:04:04in the West.
01:04:05It's no wonder
01:04:06he failed.
01:04:07We're not ready for it.
01:04:09You're talking
01:04:09as if you believed him.
01:04:11Well, it is possible,
01:04:12isn't it?
01:04:13I mean, anything
01:04:14is possible.
01:04:15Look, we have
01:04:16two simple choices.
01:04:17We can get all
01:04:18bent out of shape,
01:04:19intellectualizing,
01:04:21or binge-pressing logic,
01:04:22or we can simply
01:04:23relax and enjoy it.
01:04:25I can listen critically,
01:04:26but I don't have
01:04:28to make up my mind
01:04:29about anything
01:04:30that you think you do.
01:04:31Well, unfortunately,
01:04:32there's no authorities
01:04:33on prehistory,
01:04:34so we couldn't
01:04:35stop him there.
01:04:36There are experts
01:04:37on the Bible
01:04:37to dream on.
01:04:39Yeah.
01:04:40That's the lost years
01:04:41of Jesus.
01:04:42He didn't exist
01:04:43until John put on a hat.
01:04:44I don't believe
01:04:46in angels
01:04:47and the nativity
01:04:48and the star in the east,
01:04:49but there are stories
01:04:50about the childhood
01:04:51of Jesus.
01:04:52History hates a vacuum.
01:04:55Improvisation,
01:04:55some of it,
01:04:56very sincere,
01:04:57fills the gaps.
01:04:58It would have been easy
01:04:59to falsify a past
01:05:01back then.
01:05:02A few words,
01:05:03credulity,
01:05:05time would do the rest.
01:05:06No, you're talking
01:05:07as if you believed.
01:05:08Well, look at the
01:05:08popular myths
01:05:09surrounding the
01:05:10Kennedy assassination
01:05:11in a few short years.
01:05:12You had a conspiracy,
01:05:15a mafia, CIA.
01:05:17That's a mystique
01:05:17that'll never go away.
01:05:18It's always been
01:05:19a small step
01:05:20from a fallen leader
01:05:21to a god.
01:05:22I don't think
01:05:23anybody will
01:05:24deify Kennedy.
01:05:25were more sophisticated
01:05:26than that.
01:05:27We are.
01:05:29We are.
01:05:34Well, you're finally
01:05:35fulfilling one prophecy
01:05:36about the millennium.
01:05:38John?
01:05:39What's that?
01:05:40Here you are again.
01:05:52You like the fire,
01:05:53John?
01:05:55Everywhere I've lived,
01:05:55I've had a fireplace.
01:05:58Childhood fixation,
01:05:59I guess.
01:06:01Helps me to feel secure.
01:06:04There are predators
01:06:06out there.
01:06:09One thing I didn't pack,
01:06:11I thought I might need it.
01:06:20Wouldn't Sacré-Dupré-Ton
01:06:22be more appropriate?
01:06:23What?
01:06:27You got four men of science
01:06:30completely baffled,
01:06:31my friend.
01:06:32We don't know
01:06:33what to make of you.
01:06:35Did you know
01:06:35Voltaire was the first
01:06:36to suggest that
01:06:37the universe was created
01:06:38by a gigantic explosion?
01:06:41Nothing Paul would agree.
01:06:43And that Goethe
01:06:43was the first
01:06:44to suggest that
01:06:45spiral nebulae
01:06:46were swirling masses
01:06:48of stars.
01:06:49We now call them
01:06:50galaxies.
01:06:51It's kind of funny
01:06:52how often
01:06:53new concepts of science
01:06:54find their first
01:06:55tentative forms
01:06:55of expression
01:06:56in the arts.
01:06:57So did Beethoven
01:06:59do physics
01:07:00on the side?
01:07:02He spent most
01:07:03of his time
01:07:04lying on the floor
01:07:05in front of his
01:07:06legless piano
01:07:07surrounded by
01:07:07orange peels
01:07:08and apple cores.
01:07:12Now we're on the floor
01:07:13listening to Beethoven.
01:07:16Full circle.
01:07:18Did you have
01:07:21any religious beliefs
01:07:22or did you give
01:07:24it much thought?
01:07:25You can't get there
01:07:26with thought.
01:07:28You have faith
01:07:29in a lot of things.
01:07:30Do you have faith
01:07:31in the future
01:07:32of the race?
01:07:33I've seen species
01:07:34come and go.
01:07:36Depends on their
01:07:36balance with the environment.
01:07:39We've made a mess
01:07:40of it.
01:07:41There's still time.
01:07:43We use it well.
01:07:44Christianity
01:07:45has been a worldwide
01:07:46belief for
01:07:482,000 years.
01:07:49How long did
01:07:49the Egyptians
01:07:50worship Isis
01:07:51and the Sumerians
01:07:52Ishtar?
01:07:53In India
01:07:54sacred cows
01:07:55wandered freely
01:07:55as reincarnated souls.
01:07:57In 1,000 years
01:07:58they'll be barbecued
01:07:59and their souls
01:08:00will be in squirrels.
01:08:01You weren't Jesus.
01:08:04Oh, yes.
01:08:09If it rains,
01:08:10it won't.
01:08:11How do you know that?
01:08:12I don't smell it.
01:08:17Were you,
01:08:19I guess,
01:08:19a medicine man?
01:08:22I was ashamed
01:08:23of you a few times.
01:08:24I revealed some truths
01:08:26to eat a little better.
01:08:27You think that's
01:08:28all religion is about?
01:08:30Selling hope
01:08:31and survival?
01:08:32The Old Testament
01:08:33sells fear and guilt.
01:08:35The New Testament
01:08:36is a good code of ethics
01:08:37put into my mouth
01:08:39by poets and philosophers
01:08:40that are much smarter
01:08:41than I am.
01:08:42The message
01:08:43is never practiced.
01:08:45The fairy tales
01:08:46build churches.
01:08:48What about the name
01:08:49Jesus?
01:08:51Did he pull that
01:08:52out of a hand?
01:08:53I called myself
01:08:53John.
01:08:55I almost always do.
01:08:57As tales of resurrection
01:08:59spread,
01:08:59the name was confused
01:09:00with the Hebrew
01:09:01Yohanan,
01:09:02meaning God
01:09:03is gracious.
01:09:04My stay on earth
01:09:05was seen as divine
01:09:06proof of immortality.
01:09:08That led to
01:09:11God is salvation
01:09:13or Hebrew
01:09:14Yeshua,
01:09:15which in translation
01:09:16became my proper name,
01:09:18changing to late
01:09:18Greek,
01:09:20Iesus,
01:09:21then to late
01:09:21Latin,
01:09:22Iesus,
01:09:23finally medieval
01:09:24Latin,
01:09:25Jesus.
01:09:26And it was a wonder
01:09:27to watch it all happen.
01:09:29Then you didn't claim
01:09:30to be the son of God.
01:09:31It began as a schoolhouse
01:09:33and ended as a temple.
01:09:35I said I had
01:09:36a master
01:09:37that was greater
01:09:37than myself.
01:09:38I never said
01:09:39he was my father.
01:09:40I wanted to teach
01:09:41what I learned.
01:09:42I never claimed
01:09:43to be king of the Jews.
01:09:44I never walked on water.
01:09:46I never raised the dead.
01:09:48I never spoke of divine
01:09:49except in
01:09:50the sense of human
01:09:51goodness
01:09:52on earth.
01:09:56No wise men
01:09:57came from the east
01:09:58to worship in a manger.
01:10:00I did do a little
01:10:02healing
01:10:02with some eastern medicine
01:10:03I'd learned.
01:10:07That's it.
01:10:12Three wise men
01:10:13began as a myth
01:10:14about the birth
01:10:15of the Buddha.
01:10:20John,
01:10:21I should be home.
01:10:23kissing my wife.
01:10:26We're all here
01:10:27trapped by her story
01:10:30hoping for a
01:10:34revolution.
01:10:35I don't know.
01:10:39Are there any
01:10:41more revelations for us?
01:10:49it's just like
01:10:51old times.
01:10:58You weren't
01:11:00Jesus.
01:11:03Quote the
01:11:04Sermon on the Motor.
01:11:06Which one?
01:11:07Darby,
01:11:08King James,
01:11:09New American Standard?
01:11:10Do you know them all?
01:11:12No one knows
01:11:13the one,
01:11:13not even me.
01:11:16I did some teaching
01:11:17on a hill one day.
01:11:19Not that many people
01:11:19stayed.
01:11:21But
01:11:22biblical Jesus
01:11:23said
01:11:25who do you think
01:11:25I am?
01:11:27He gave them
01:11:28a choice.
01:11:30I'm giving you one.
01:11:35Were you?
01:11:38If I said no,
01:11:39could you ever
01:11:39be sure?
01:11:58Turn that off.
01:12:00Please?
01:12:04This has gone
01:12:05far enough.
01:12:06It's gone much
01:12:07too far.
01:12:08These people
01:12:09are very upset.
01:12:10I don't believe
01:12:11you're mad.
01:12:13But what you're
01:12:14saying is not
01:12:15true.
01:12:16That leaves
01:12:17only one
01:12:18explanation.
01:12:20The time has
01:12:21come when you
01:12:22must admit
01:12:22this is a
01:12:23hoax.
01:12:25A lie.
01:12:27Isn't that
01:12:28true,
01:12:29John?
01:12:30If you
01:12:31don't drop
01:12:31this now,
01:12:32if you can,
01:12:33I'll be
01:12:34convinced
01:12:35that you
01:12:35need a
01:12:36great deal
01:12:37of attention.
01:12:38I can have
01:12:39you committed
01:12:39for observation.
01:12:40You know
01:12:41that.
01:12:42I ask
01:12:43you now.
01:12:44I demand
01:12:45it
01:12:46that you
01:12:47tell these
01:12:48people the
01:12:48truth.
01:12:50Give them
01:12:50closure.
01:12:53It's
01:12:54time,
01:12:54John.
01:12:56Please.
01:13:10end of the
01:13:11line.
01:13:12Everybody
01:13:12off.
01:13:17What?
01:13:19It was a
01:13:20story.
01:13:20It was all
01:13:22a story.
01:13:24Good
01:13:24God.
01:13:26Another
01:13:27fairy tale.
01:13:28All of
01:13:29it,
01:13:29but why
01:13:30what in
01:13:31the name
01:13:31of heaven?
01:13:32John,
01:13:32you had
01:13:32us wondering
01:13:32whether you
01:13:33were sane
01:13:33or not,
01:13:34and it's
01:13:34just a
01:13:35story.
01:13:36Where'd
01:13:36you come
01:13:36off with
01:13:37such a
01:13:37half-baked
01:13:38asinine
01:13:38idea?
01:13:39At least
01:13:39you're
01:13:39relieved I
01:13:40might have
01:13:40not.
01:13:40I'd prefer
01:13:41you were.
01:13:42You gave
01:13:43me the
01:13:43idea.
01:13:44All of
01:13:45you.
01:13:45Come again.
01:13:47You saw
01:13:47my fake
01:13:48Van Gogh.
01:13:48You could
01:13:48have just
01:13:49told me.
01:13:49You commented
01:13:50that I
01:13:50never age.
01:13:51You gave
01:13:51me the
01:13:52book on
01:13:52early man.
01:13:53Dan,
01:13:53you spotted
01:13:54the burn,
01:13:54and you
01:13:54said if
01:13:55stones could
01:13:55speak,
01:13:57I knew
01:13:57it.
01:13:58I got
01:13:58the notion,
01:13:59I ran
01:13:59it past
01:14:00you to
01:14:00check your
01:14:00reactions,
01:14:01and I
01:14:02took it
01:14:02too far.
01:14:03Too
01:14:03far.
01:14:04Check my
01:14:05reaction.
01:14:06You asked
01:14:06if I was a
01:14:07figure from
01:14:07religious history,
01:14:08if there were
01:14:09others like
01:14:09me, if I
01:14:10created future
01:14:11identities.
01:14:12We were
01:14:12chasing our
01:14:13tails around
01:14:13the maypole,
01:14:14enjoying the
01:14:16mystery, the
01:14:16analytical stretch.
01:14:18You were
01:14:18playing my
01:14:19game.
01:14:19I was
01:14:20playing yours.
01:14:21Oh, man,
01:14:22you had us
01:14:22going, right?
01:14:23You were
01:14:24good, man.
01:14:25You know
01:14:25those Chinese
01:14:26boxes, one
01:14:27inside the
01:14:28other, inside
01:14:28the other, inside
01:14:29the other.
01:14:30I feel like I'm
01:14:30in the last
01:14:32box.
01:14:33You son of a
01:14:35bitch!
01:14:36How could you do
01:14:37this to us?
01:14:38I was worried
01:14:39about you.
01:14:39I know, I was
01:14:40tempted to cop
01:14:40out many times,
01:14:42but I couldn't
01:14:43resist seeing
01:14:43whether or not
01:14:44you could refute
01:14:45what I was
01:14:45saying.
01:14:46I had the
01:14:47perfect audience,
01:14:49anthropologist,
01:14:49archaeologist,
01:14:50Christian
01:14:51literalist,
01:14:53a psychologist.
01:14:55Okay, I've
01:14:56had enough of
01:14:56this.
01:14:57I'm out of
01:14:57here.
01:14:57You want to
01:14:57come?
01:14:58Let's go.
01:14:59So, John,
01:15:01are you going
01:15:01to write the
01:15:02story?
01:15:02If I do, I'll
01:15:03send you copies.
01:15:04Don't bother
01:15:05with mine, okay?
01:15:06You are
01:15:06absolutely
01:15:08certifiable.
01:15:09I don't know
01:15:10you.
01:15:13It was nice
01:15:13seeing you again,
01:15:14Dr. Oldman.
01:15:16Your name's a
01:15:17pun, isn't it?
01:15:18Old man.
01:15:21Did that help
01:15:22you with your
01:15:22story?
01:15:24Linda!
01:15:27Bye.
01:15:31My lot was
01:15:32half, right?
01:15:35Which half?
01:15:39Well, at least
01:15:40I don't have to
01:15:40throw away half
01:15:42of what I know
01:15:42about biology.
01:15:44Which half?
01:15:47It's a beautiful
01:15:48idea.
01:15:49So rich.
01:15:51So full
01:15:52possibilities.
01:15:55Perhaps you
01:15:55should write a
01:15:56paper on it,
01:15:56Doctor.
01:15:57Maybe I will.
01:15:58I'll interview
01:15:59you in the
01:16:00rubber room
01:16:00for further
01:16:01details.
01:16:02You may still
01:16:03need help,
01:16:04my friend.
01:16:18My ass.
01:16:19I thought it
01:16:20sounded pretty
01:16:20good.
01:16:21They believe you
01:16:22because they have
01:16:22to.
01:16:24But the one thing
01:16:24that I know about
01:16:25you is that you
01:16:26would never use
01:16:26people or abuse
01:16:27their goodwill and
01:16:28intelligence like
01:16:29they think you've
01:16:29just done to them.
01:16:30Psych 101?
01:16:31No, it's woman.
01:16:33One-on-one.
01:16:34So you're a pretty
01:16:35fast liar, Mr. Ugg.
01:16:36But I want to know,
01:16:38what's your real name?
01:16:40Believe it or not,
01:16:42this sound was always
01:16:44John.
01:16:45Why'd you cave to
01:16:46Gruber?
01:16:47What happened was
01:16:48enough.
01:16:49Just needed to stop.
01:16:50I shouldn't have
01:16:51expected it to work.
01:16:5314,000 years old.
01:16:55I bet that's a lot
01:16:57of women.
01:16:58Are we counting?
01:16:59Maybe.
01:17:03Well, I'm taking
01:17:04Edith home.
01:17:05Sandy?
01:17:07I'm going to stay.
01:17:13Are you sorry
01:17:14for some of those
01:17:14things you said?
01:17:16I'm sorry I said
01:17:18them.
01:17:18Well, like a good
01:17:20Christian, I...
01:17:23Oh, John.
01:17:27You did a terrible
01:17:28thing.
01:17:30But we're all so
01:17:30thankful you're
01:17:31all right.
01:17:32Even Art.
01:17:32He just hates
01:17:34things he can't
01:17:34understand.
01:17:35You're a sadist,
01:17:36John.
01:17:37But I admit I got a
01:17:38kick out of chasing
01:17:39my tail around
01:17:40your Maybowl.
01:17:41Even if that is
01:17:42all I caught.
01:17:43Good luck to you.
01:17:44Wish you the best.
01:17:46Ready?
01:17:47Ready?
01:17:49Ready?
01:17:50Ready?
01:17:56Later on.
01:17:57Okay.
01:17:57Good night.
01:18:06I don't know, man.
01:18:09Something about this.
01:18:12Something about you,
01:18:13John.
01:18:14The more I think
01:18:15about it, the more
01:18:16I'm no longer in
01:18:17that Chinese box.
01:18:19I sense space.
01:18:23A kind of latitude
01:18:24in what we happily
01:18:25call reality.
01:18:27In which, as
01:18:28everybody keeps
01:18:29saying, anything's
01:18:32possible.
01:18:33Yes.
01:18:34No, no, no.
01:18:34No, no.
01:18:35No.
01:18:36No more words.
01:18:37I'm gonna go home
01:18:39and I'm gonna watch
01:18:40Star Trek for a dose
01:18:41of sanity.
01:18:43Good luck to you,
01:18:44man.
01:18:45Wherever this may
01:18:45lead to.
01:18:47You drop me a line
01:18:48sometime.
01:18:50Let me know
01:18:50how you make it out.
01:18:53I will.
01:19:05So, John Oldman,
01:19:08what other pun names
01:19:10have you used?
01:19:11Lots.
01:19:13John Paley
01:19:14for John Paleolithic.
01:19:17John Savage.
01:19:19Got really crazy
01:19:20about 60 years ago
01:19:21when I was teaching
01:19:22at Harvard.
01:19:23I was John Thomas
01:19:25Partee.
01:19:26John T. Partee.
01:19:28Boston T. Partee.
01:19:29I get it.
01:19:30Yeah, I know.
01:19:31Wait, wait, wait.
01:19:31B-b-boston?
01:19:3560 years ago?
01:19:37J-
01:19:37John Partee?
01:19:42You did not
01:19:44teach chemistry.
01:19:45I do not
01:19:46believe you.
01:19:48Your mother's name
01:19:50was Nova.
01:19:51No.
01:19:52Yeah.
01:19:52No.
01:19:53Yeah.
01:19:54Yes.
01:19:56Nola.
01:19:57My mother.
01:19:59I reject this.
01:20:03My, my,
01:20:04my dog's name.
01:20:06We had him
01:20:07before I was born.
01:20:08Wolfie.
01:20:09Wolf, Wolf, Wolfie.
01:20:16Kruber,
01:20:17should we married?
01:20:18She said
01:20:19you abandoned us.
01:20:21Sorry,
01:20:22I had to move on.
01:20:23You know that.
01:20:24I left enough.
01:20:25I left enough.
01:20:25I called.
01:20:27Chilly willy.
01:20:28Always cold.
01:20:29Never could
01:20:29stand the cold.
01:20:32Wait,
01:20:32you,
01:20:33you had a beer.
01:20:35Yeah.
01:20:35Use the title
01:20:36and the sequel's real.
01:20:38Will?
01:20:39God.
01:20:419-1-1 now.
01:20:43Will,
01:20:45come on,
01:20:46Will.
01:20:47Will,
01:20:48come on,
01:20:49buddy.
01:20:53Go.
01:20:54Go.
01:20:55Go.
01:20:57Woo!
01:20:59Go.
01:21:00Go.
01:21:00Go.
01:21:00Go.
01:21:01Go.
01:21:03Go.
01:21:21You'll stay in touch, Dr. Ullman, in case there are any questions.
01:21:25I'll be back for the funeral.
01:21:28Miss.
01:21:38You never saw a grown child die?
01:21:42No.
01:22:33I'll be back for the funeral.
01:23:03I'll be back for the funeral.
01:23:32I'll be back for the funeral.
01:23:46I'll be back for the funeral.
01:24:09I'll be back for the funeral.
01:24:14But maybe some things do.
01:24:18Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:24:25Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:24:43I've seen men take the world into their hands and change it and mold it to their point of view.
01:24:58I've felt the air shake.
01:25:02I've seen men take a stand.
01:25:06And find when it's the one thing left to do.
01:25:14Nothing less forever is what I've always heard.
01:25:22All things good must end, you know it's true.
01:25:29Nothing less forever, but maybe some things do.
01:25:36Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:25:43Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:13Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:19Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:26Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:33Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:42Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:43Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:45So I'm your hands.
01:26:58Forever is the way I feel for you.
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