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Heart Hustle Houston Season 1 Episode 6
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00:00I'm not going to have a baby.
00:02Would you consider marriage counseling?
00:05For the past three years, I would say our marriage has been a little shaky.
00:10Trust is not there.
00:11And I just don't feel good in this space that I'm in.
00:14Let me focus on personal therapy.
00:30I love pole dancing.
00:39I want to invite my girls out to pole.
00:41It's going to allow them to just let their guard down and forget about everything they're dealing with.
00:46So let's just have fun.
00:47Well, hello.
00:49There she is.
00:51Oh, baby, this is a bit much for me.
00:52I have to take them heels off at the parking lot.
00:54Because I am not getting to work on my sensuality in the bedroom with my husband, I need this to just recharge myself.
01:08Let's see what's going on in the pole room.
01:11Okay.
01:14I didn't know what Elena was thinking.
01:21What a way to show us all up.
01:23Because, honey, have you seen me dance?
01:25We're going to start off with a little warm-up.
01:27And you're going to air walk your legs.
01:29If you want to be spicy, you can pop out a quick ugh and come back together.
01:33Child, all I can do is the Cupid shell for it.
01:36And I can barely do that, okay?
01:39I'm going to meet y'all down there.
01:42Latoya, come on.
01:43Throw it at the top with a fear.
01:44Look, if you're going to be down there on the ground, rub the pole behind you, move your legs, do something.
01:50Yeah, okay.
01:51Nisha, you nasty.
01:52Three.
01:53Two.
01:54One.
01:55Float down.
01:56Take my tie.
01:58Legs come up.
01:59Baby, the men don't leave the club when I come.
02:02Pole dancing is hard, y'all.
02:04Bring it up.
02:05Grab left.
02:06Like what?
02:07Okay, Elena.
02:08We get it, Superwoman.
02:09But this is not for me.
02:12Up.
02:12Then roll, right.
02:14Hey.
02:15Hey.
02:16Hey.
02:16This pole is working me harder than I have worked in a long time.
02:20Oh, that looks so good.
02:24Bro, honey, she's taking it serious.
02:27The hair is in the ponytail.
02:29The moves are swaying.
02:31The uh, uh, uh.
02:32Bring it up.
02:33The eight counts of Aiden.
02:35There we go.
02:36Yeah.
02:37Take that back.
02:38Great weed.
02:40Where them dollars at?
02:42Two.
02:43Three.
02:44Four.
02:45And grab.
02:47Elena looks good on the pole, y'all.
02:49She kind of, mm.
02:50It's giving a little freak in the streets and the sheets.
02:54Take some of those moves home, and maybe you and Josh could really rekindle something.
02:59Step, step.
03:01And roll that body down.
03:03Oh, we got some money.
03:06Yeah, I'ma dance now.
03:08Slick.
03:09Yeah.
03:10And bring it up.
03:12Ready?
03:13Grab that pole.
03:15Last.
03:16Right.
03:17Okay.
03:18Okay.
03:18All right.
03:19Right.
03:20Okay, Zaria.
03:22Yeah.
03:23Yeah.
03:24You ready?
03:25All right, y'all.
03:26Y'all did it.
03:27Yeah.
03:29I hope y'all feel proud.
03:30I hope y'all feel empowered.
03:32I hope y'all feel a lot of self-love coming off of you, because those are all the things
03:36that I try to teach when I teach pole.
03:39Thank y'all.
03:40Enjoy the rest of y'all day, okay?
03:42Girl, I was just with some real money.
03:44Me too.
03:46Okay, how'd y'all enjoy it?
03:48I'm glad I came.
03:49I just, you know, I was like, I didn't know what to expect, you know?
03:52I feel good.
03:52No, I feel good, too.
03:53It was cool.
03:54Nice little workout.
03:55So, what is up?
03:57What's been going on?
03:59So, what?
04:00I'm going on a date tomorrow.
04:03LaBrina's hooking me up with her friend Banks.
04:05Yeah.
04:06Capital B.
04:07Capital B?
04:08I thought you said capital D.
04:09I said.
04:11LaBrina has set me up on a blind date.
04:14I don't really know what to expect.
04:16All I know is that he's a cowboy.
04:19You need you a good old country man.
04:21Yeah.
04:21Go to one of these trail rides.
04:23Uh-huh.
04:24Did you tell anybody's sequel, girl?
04:26Baby, let me find you one of these good old simple cowboys.
04:29Woo, please.
04:31Can we get a yee high up in here, okay?
04:35Have you seen the picture of him?
04:36No, it's a blind date.
04:38I can see Latoria with a lot of different types of men.
04:41Like, I can see her with a grown man.
04:44How grown?
04:45Grown, grown.
04:46Like salt and pepper grown.
04:48Yeah, your type.
04:50Yeah, come on.
04:51Yeah, cop that water up, baby.
04:52Wait.
04:53A pop-up?
04:55Girl, like salt and pepper beers.
04:57I know, but what's the age?
04:58That don't mean pop-up.
04:59That's sexy.
05:00Do you like salt and pepper?
05:01Yeah, it's sexy, but how?
05:03We are at the age where you're going to see a lot of salt and pepper.
05:06But salt and pepper is sexy.
05:08It's not unsexy.
05:09It's definitely a vibe.
05:10But I'm thinking, baby, what in the high cholesterol is going on here, okay?
05:18I think you're going to like him.
05:20I pray you just like him.
05:20I think, yeah.
05:21Yeah.
05:22Well, that'll be nice.
05:23I think they have another class coming in, so we got to wrap it up.
05:28Next time we're going to be playing pickleball, I'll be on the golf course, baby.
05:32Yes.
05:32This whole stuff is a bit much.
05:34Yeah.
05:34And I don't want to sweat, you know?
05:37In the morning, she's a ghost.
05:41No, I'm gone.
05:42I'm going to let us move back to her name in my home.
05:45Until she can't be alone.
05:47In the evening, in the night.
05:49Oh, my God.
05:52She did so good.
05:55Yes, I love the bass.
05:57Okay.
05:58I feel so good having my studio space finally finished.
06:04This is my chapter.
06:05I'm able to focus on myself, hone into my craft and my brand.
06:10This feels so good.
06:13Hi, Sue.
06:14Hi.
06:15Oh, this is nice.
06:17I am taking my first client in Color Dejure Makeup Lounge, Latoya Luckett of Destiny's Child.
06:23I'm really proud of you.
06:26I've been doing her makeup for a while.
06:27Latoya has been a sounding board and an armchair therapist during our makeup sessions.
06:32She has been like a big sister to me lately.
06:34I'm excited to just chat it up with her.
06:38Listen, you have been on a journey this last year and some change.
06:43Am I wrong or right?
06:44You're right.
06:45I'm actually in the season of realizing that pouring into myself is necessary.
06:50You know, I know we talked about, like, Josh and I sleeping in separate rooms.
06:54Are we still doing that?
06:57Yes, we're still doing that.
06:59Why?
07:00Because it's necessary in this season.
07:02But y'all ain't rubbing feet?
07:04We hug.
07:05We from Houston.
07:06We hug everybody.
07:07Do y'all talk?
07:08Um, not enough.
07:09Josh and I are sleeping in separate rooms because he did something that really fractured us.
07:14I'm questioning whether or not I can trust him.
07:18What did Josh do?
07:18I'm not ready to publicly talk about that yet.
07:24What I'm hoping to see is the work being done.
07:27And are y'all doing that?
07:28I am.
07:29And he's not?
07:30He said he's starting.
07:32Now, why do you feel y'all can't do both at the same time?
07:34Um, because I asked him to do couple therapy and he said he wanted to do individual therapy first.
07:40You're both operating with single-minded mentality trying to make a marriage work.
07:47How, Sway?
07:49I challenge you to ask your husband for a couple session.
07:57Do you want me to ask again?
07:59Ask again.
08:00Okay, I'll ask again.
08:01It's hard to hear the truth sometimes.
08:03It's even harder to admit the truth to myself.
08:06But LaToya is right.
08:07We need to be actively working on our marriage together.
08:11Fifteen years of marriage can be heavy.
08:13And it carries a lot of hurt.
08:15I want you to be happy and I want you to be in a happy, healthy marriage.
08:19But you also ain't gonna sit here and talk to me in my chair.
08:22And I not tell you the truth about what's going on.
08:26Coming up, I'm LaToya.
08:28I'm a lover.
08:29Nice to meet you.
08:30I'm scared of horses.
08:31Now, we wouldn't make it.
08:33Ooh!
08:34I want you to want it to work.
08:37And that's why I was pushing couple therapy.
08:40No.
08:41I haven't.
08:42I've just been stressed.
08:43I've been doing so much.
08:44And, you know, we've been having so much going on lately.
08:46I am very late.
08:47My period has not come yet.
08:50Don't you ever give up.
08:52You got it.
08:52You got it.
08:53Raise your head, chin up.
08:55You got it.
08:56You got it.
08:57Don't you ever stop trying.
08:59I'm a girl.
09:00I'm a girl.
09:02Hi, Missoumi.
09:03How are you?
09:04I'm okay.
09:05Thank you so much for this house call.
09:09Yeah, it's been a while.
09:10It's definitely been a while.
09:12I appreciate it.
09:14Sorry, my dog is going through stuff, too.
09:16On average, me and Miss Sylvia do virtual sessions.
09:19But she's told me before, if I need her, call her and she's coming.
09:25This session, I needed her.
09:28I recently just had a one-year anniversary of my dad's death.
09:32I needed to be at home.
09:34So she came.
09:35She came to my rescue.
09:37So how are you?
09:38I'm hanging in there.
09:40So the last time we met, it was close to your dad's anniversary date.
09:44How did you maneuver?
09:46How did you do?
09:47I struggled.
09:49That morning I got up, I didn't really know how to feel.
09:51I didn't really know how to process everything.
09:55I recently just lost my dad.
09:57He was my best friend.
09:58My eyes and my ears, he was my protector.
10:01He was a single father.
10:02He was my biggest supporter.
10:04We talked all day, every day.
10:06And nobody in this world showed up for me like my dad.
10:10My dad was my best friend.
10:12Of course.
10:12My dad was the one person that, he cheered for me the loudest.
10:18Right.
10:18I think about not just, not just him being gone, but the fact that I found him dead.
10:29Well, I walked in the house and I went to his room and he was, he was laid on his bed.
10:36Uh, his eyes were open and he was deceased.
10:41He had had a heart attack.
10:44So finding my dad dead, having to figure out life without my dad has been like the hardest thing of my life.
10:53I feel like I'm in this big world all by myself.
11:00I come home and I'm alone.
11:03I get up and I'm alone.
11:05I'm taking care of my household.
11:08Taking care of my dad's household and his estate.
11:11So I have to work harder.
11:13I have to bring in extra revenue.
11:15I got to make sure my staff is good.
11:17I got to make sure all 20 clients are good.
11:19I deal with everybody's issues and I deal with it alone.
11:24Where are you as far as wanting to be in a relationship?
11:30How is that going?
11:31I mean, I've always wanted to be in a relationship.
11:34You know, I, I feel like there's a huge part of me that's a lover, that's a nurturer, that's, you know, I feel like, I feel like I'm wifey material.
11:45I feel like you are too.
11:47And it's never too late to be a wife.
11:49Exactly.
11:50What stops you from just dating, going on dates?
11:55I have not had the luxury of being courted and being dated properly.
12:01I've met the guys that everything about me is intimidating to them.
12:05I always get the guys that they're intimidated, not because of who I am, but what I do.
12:12So a lot of them can't see past the fact of, oh, you are with this celebrity who makes this much, or you are with this person that, you know, we just saw on TV.
12:22And it's like, yeah, but that's my job.
12:24Like, I don't go down to the bank where you work and categorize everybody that's counting money.
12:30So why are you doing that to me?
12:31My friend has set me up on a blind date.
12:35And I'm open to a blind date, you know.
12:38That's perfect.
12:39That's a good way to find out if that's someone you, yeah.
12:43Yeah.
12:43I mean, I'm open to it.
12:45I've never shunned away anything, you know.
12:48So I'm more so seeking something that has substance.
12:54I've been so focused on my healing journey since my dad passed.
12:58Dating hasn't been on my mind.
13:00But, you know, I'm open to getting out there and trying new things.
13:04So what I always hear and see about you is that you're constantly wanting to grow.
13:10Maybe now is the time to go ahead and grow.
13:12Yeah.
13:13So you can have, you can settle down and have a relationship.
13:16Yeah, I appreciate you for coming.
13:17Thank you so much.
13:20No homework this week.
13:22Okay, no homework this week.
13:23Okay, I did my homework last week.
13:25Okay, no homework this week.
13:26Okay.
13:45Hello.
13:46Oh.
13:47You look good.
13:48You look good.
13:49Hi.
13:50I'm finally catching up with Lelaina.
13:52It's been a minute since we caught up.
13:54I love this.
13:54It's good to see you.
13:55Yes, housewife and mommy.
13:56Um, the house is quiet.
13:58Everybody's gone.
13:59The kids are at school.
14:00Okay, cool.
14:00Lelaina invited me to pole dancing and although it sounds fun, I did decline on it because I was working and I think our schedules just haven't aligned to where we meet up.
14:11I'm just excited to spend some time with my girl.
14:13We're not the same people we were when we first got married, but how are you feeling now?
14:18Like today?
14:20It's almost like a waiting game.
14:22Waiting for him?
14:23Yeah.
14:24Just trying.
14:24So you feel like you're at one level.
14:26Uh-huh.
14:27And he's at a different level and you're trying to get him to meet you at that level?
14:31Yeah.
14:31There has just been like a total disconnect.
14:33And then when you're not seeing the steps being done, it's hard to...
14:37What steps do you think will help you get to that point?
14:40The initial steps were just individual therapy and then couples therapy.
14:44Which he's working on that, right?
14:45And he's done a session.
14:47Uh-huh.
14:47I feel like if he does more of those sessions, I will see huge changes for sure.
14:54I really need to see more effort from Josh when it comes to the individual therapy sessions.
14:59I just really want him to take accountability for violating my trust.
15:03I know with us, it's not perfect.
15:06It's not perfection.
15:07We have our own issues and struggles.
15:09And something that I want to incorporate more, even with my content, is showing the vulnerable side a little more on there.
15:17Because I'm sure that I'm not the only person struggling with trying to be strong all the time and trying to keep everything in.
15:24So maybe if I put myself out there a little more and express that other people would...
15:29You should. Everybody loves vulnerable posts.
15:31Yeah.
15:31I think with Minera being an influencer, she has this guard up, these walls up.
15:36And I understand that because I know at times I do as well.
15:41I think we both have to realize that it's okay to be vulnerable.
15:46And it's okay to not have it all figured out.
15:49And that's a part of life.
15:50What is it?
15:50What is it that you feel like you have to be strong about?
15:54Carrying the burden of a lot of other people.
15:58Me growing up, I lived overseas for a while.
16:01And my mom and my dad ended up getting separated and divorcing.
16:05We came to the States by ourselves.
16:08And my mom had to be a single mom.
16:11She had to do everything on her own.
16:14She's the only person in this country.
16:15Y'all came overseas because of what?
16:18She didn't want to raise me there, so she left.
16:20My mom raised me.
16:21She was a single mom.
16:22She's from India.
16:23And my dad is African American.
16:26She lived overseas with my dad.
16:27Ended up moving because things didn't work out with them.
16:30They got divorced when I was really young.
16:31So we lived in India before moving to the States.
16:35And she had to realize and learn how to be a single mom.
16:38So seeing her struggle honestly motivated me and molded me into the woman that I am.
16:43We lived in the basement with another family for like six, seven years.
16:48You know, I'm in elementary and I'm coming back and I'm seeing her like breaking down, crying,
16:53because she's trying to figure out like, how do I get out of the situation?
16:56That's probably why I am so hard.
16:58So for me, I'm just like, okay, well, I'm going to just keep all this stuff in.
17:01I'm not going to talk about it.
17:02My mom had to grind.
17:04She had to struggle.
17:06She came here with nothing to raise me.
17:09And I love her for that.
17:10I thank her for that.
17:11But it was difficult and it really changed my perspective on a lot of things.
17:17Being strong and suppressing is all I know how to do.
17:21Looking at Manera's open up and cry, I see a lot of myself in her and I want to open up as well.
17:27Seeing her let go and sharing her truth, it makes me feel like me sharing my truth may be worth the risk.
17:34I do appreciate you allowing me to open up, even though I don't like opening up.
17:39Well, I think you should definitely allow yourself to figure out how to get that pressure off of you
17:44and allow yourself to have those vulnerable moments.
17:48Typically, I'm the person that's always listening and providing advice.
17:52So right now, it really feels good for the roles to be flipped
17:56and for me to be the person that expresses how I feel and things that I'm going through.
18:00So I do feel a lot better just releasing some of that that I've been holding on to.
18:05Maybe a poll class will help.
18:07A poll class will not help.
18:08Do you know my daughter's room used to be my poll room?
18:12Oh, so you know to be the poll mom.
18:17Coming up, I feel like I'm constantly fighting.
18:20Fighting for us.
18:22I want it to work, but I also want you to want it to work.
18:26If your ass pregnant, we got a baby shower to plan.
18:29What is that?
18:30It ain't easy trying to be me.
18:38That's why it's the only one of me.
18:41Can't duplicate it.
18:44No, no.
18:45Or replicate it.
18:47No, no.
18:48It's the only one of me.
18:52Hey, Rami.
18:52Come on.
18:59We should have put your bow tie on.
19:01She likes young men.
19:02Hello.
19:06Hey, Mama.
19:06How are you?
19:07I'm doing great.
19:09You look beautiful as well.
19:11What's been up?
19:12What's wrong with you?
19:13You look bad.
19:14I'm meeting up with Chloe today because I have some relationship issues.
19:17I got some problems.
19:18And Chloe's the only person I feel like I can really honestly talk to her.
19:22What's wrong?
19:23There was a mom on that, and I just took it forever to get up here.
19:25You look like you've been crying.
19:26I feel like me and Chloe can talk about anything and everything, and there's no judgment.
19:31I really do value our friendship that we have, so she knows how to console me correctly,
19:37and I know she'll give me some good advice.
19:39You want wine or water or juice or what?
19:41I don't have any tequila.
19:43Some water, cool, or some juice.
19:44Damn, you're not drinking either?
19:46Not right now.
19:47Oh, you must be mad about something.
19:49This one is cooler than me.
19:51You look pretty.
19:51No, let's get...
19:52What's wrong with you?
19:53What you doing with me?
19:56Nothing.
19:56Come on, let's sit on the couch.
19:58Come here, because you...
19:58Uh-uh.
19:59Come on.
20:00I'm always happy to see Ro.
20:01Her energy is just contagious.
20:03So when she walks in my house and looking all crazy...
20:06You are not your usual self.
20:08I'm confused.
20:09Girl, what's wrong with you?
20:10Got like a little situation that's been going on, whatever, that I've been dealing with.
20:13Which situation?
20:14You got...
20:14The guy I told you about this.
20:15The one that's younger than me?
20:16Boo thingy.
20:17So I'm currently in a relationship off and on with somebody.
20:20It's been going on four years now.
20:22He's in the NBA.
20:23And I love him to death, but I just want more out of a relationship right now.
20:28And he's out on that.
20:29So I need to make some decisions.
20:31We ain't really been talking lately because we kind of got into it or whatever.
20:34And I haven't...
20:36I've just been stressed.
20:37I've been doing so much.
20:38And you know, we've been having so much going on lately.
20:40I am very late.
20:41My period has not come yet.
20:43Girl, this is a lot.
20:47I absolutely have mixed feelings about this because it's like, of course, I do want to
20:52be pregnant and I do want to have another kid, but I just didn't plan on it being like
20:55this.
20:56I am taking dating serious now.
20:57And I do want to get married and have a real relationship with someone.
21:02But me and my boo are like not in a good space right now.
21:05I've been pregnant and I've been pregnant alone already.
21:07I don't want to go through that again.
21:09I just feel like where we at right now is just awkward as hell.
21:11And then for me to want to be pregnant and all this time and all of a sudden it's like,
21:14you got to be careful what you ask for type thing.
21:16What do you think Sophia is going to say?
21:18You want to know what happened?
21:19You told her?
21:20I got the Uber.
21:21You know you Uber pregnancy test.
21:22You can Uber like all kinds of stuff, right?
21:23Oh, you can.
21:24So I got the test Uber to the house, right?
21:26And I was getting ready.
21:27You're not Ubered it to the house.
21:29I'm getting ready.
21:29She got to stop playing basketball.
21:31So I hear her go, uh-uh.
21:34So I was like...
21:35Girl, she got the package.
21:36Girl, she walked there.
21:37She said, what is this?
21:39I know you ain't got...
21:40You got something you need to tell me?
21:41Like yelling.
21:42Oh, my God.
21:42She held in the bag like this.
21:43She older so she know what's up.
21:45I said, oh, no.
21:46I was like the other...
21:47I said, I'm about to go with my friend.
21:48That's her stuff.
21:49She told me to get her one.
21:50She goes.
21:51Mm-hmm.
21:51And she walked out the room.
21:53Girl, let's take it.
21:56You want to take it?
21:57I mean, I brought it.
21:58We can take it.
21:59Come on, open it up.
22:00Like, if I am pregnant, this could change my life.
22:04And where I'm at in my life right now, this wasn't the expectation.
22:08All right.
22:09I'm going to let you know.
22:11Woo.
22:15Uncle Ann, I'm done.
22:16So, if...
22:17Let me refill my wine a little bit more to the top, because if your ass pregnant, we got
22:24a baby shower with a plan.
22:25And then I'm not going to say you need to talk to him, but I'm going to tell him.
22:30What if he be like, I don't want no baby?
22:32He'll never say that.
22:33He's not a bad guy.
22:34He would support your decisions, like, if you didn't want it or wanted it.
22:38Like, how do you think that would go?
22:39Yeah.
22:39He's not...
22:40I would never be nobody who wouldn't support if I got pregnant and was, like, going to tell
22:42me to have an abortion or something like that.
22:44You know what I'm saying?
22:44Yeah.
22:45What it say?
22:46You see it?
22:49You sure you peed on that?
22:51Let me see.
22:52See, but this one is electronic.
22:54It says not pregnant.
22:57We're going to go with this one anyway.
22:58Yeah.
22:59Not pregnant.
22:59Electronic.
23:00This is bittersweet.
23:02I'm relieved I'm not pregnant.
23:03But at the same time, I do want to have a family.
23:06I just didn't want to have it like this.
23:07I'm a grown-ass woman.
23:09I'm not some little girl chasing a cloud trying to have a baby by Abilene.
23:13This wasn't the right way for me and Sophia.
23:15You might have just saved yourself from a lot of unnecessary drama.
23:20Let's, uh, cheers.
23:21Cheers to you with your water.
23:23With my water.
23:23It's, uh, thought I was pregnant, but I'm not.
23:26So we got to drink tequila next time I see you.
23:29Well, baby, I'm ready.
23:30You ain't pregnant.
23:31Let's turn up.
23:33Coming up.
23:34Hi.
23:35I'm looking forward to meeting the cowboy that LaBrina set me up with.
23:40So how many horses do you have?
23:41Five.
23:42Ooh.
23:43What am I afraid of?
23:46All the fear that's in my head I gotta let go.
23:51And I know what to do next.
23:54Everything is changing.
23:57And this way of thinking is really getting me nowhere.
24:01I've been single for some years now.
24:03I haven't really had the luxury of going on a lot of dates.
24:09The guys that do approach me in my DMs, I just be like, where's your teeth?
24:14Where?
24:15But I'm looking forward to meeting the cowboy that LaBrina set me up with.
24:20I ain't, woo, in a minute, okay?
24:24Battle up.
24:25Hi.
24:27Hello, hello, how are you?
24:28How are you?
24:29I'm all right, how are you?
24:30I'm Latoria, I'm a hugger.
24:31Nice to meet you.
24:32Latoria, how are you?
24:33Good, good, good.
24:34Did I pronounce your name right?
24:35Latoria, like Victoria, but La.
24:37La.
24:38Yeah.
24:39So what did LaBrina tell you about me?
24:41LaBrina said there's somebody that I think you might potentially answer.
24:45You know, she said, I can't guarantee you nothing of blase blase, but y'all might kick it out.
24:50Sometimes God put out stuff for you, man.
24:52How'd you meet?
24:53Horses.
24:54Yeah, but horses got us all.
24:56Wow.
24:56Horses turned into, horse folks turned into family people.
24:59Oh, wow.
24:59So that's what it turned into.
25:01Yeah, I mean, you mentioned God, so you're a believer.
25:04Definitely.
25:05Good.
25:06Born, bred, raised, and a believer.
25:08Yes, absolutely.
25:09I think I was riding my horse one day.
25:10I had to think about that stuff for a second and just stop and vibe with it.
25:16Banks isn't typically the guy I would go for.
25:18Definitely older, a little bit more salt and pepper, but he seems to be a nice guy.
25:25I'm a horseman through and through.
25:27I have one that's bred, named Six, meaning she's due to have a baby at the end of the month.
25:33That's my horse of our horses.
25:34That's probably my favorite horse I've ever had in the whole 27 years of me dealing with horses.
25:39Wow.
25:39Mm-hmm.
25:40She's special, man.
25:42Wow.
25:43You buy her?
25:44Yeah.
25:44Okay.
25:45If I had to break myself down, it'd be 60% horses, 20% 18-wheelers.
25:52Okay.
25:5320% motorcycle.
25:55Okay.
25:55And 10% person.
25:59Okay.
26:00So he seems to have good qualities, but baby, that's 110%.
26:07Be like 18-wheelers.
26:09Yeah.
26:10I drive 18-wheelers every day.
26:11Okay.
26:11Nice.
26:12Yeah.
26:12So that's your nine-to-five?
26:13It's not a nine-to-five when you're working for yourself.
26:16When you're working for yourself, you don't have no cutout.
26:20Okay.
26:21He's an entrepreneur, so he's a hustler.
26:25That's cool.
26:26Bree had a horse pretty palomino.
26:28I've turned down 60K for her.
26:30Why?
26:31Because I love him.
26:32Oh.
26:3560K?
26:3660K.
26:36I would have to give her a hug and say it's been nice.
26:39Faith, love for horses.
26:42It's a little abnormal.
26:47So how many horses do you have?
26:49Seven.
26:49Got a horse named Six.
26:51Uh-huh.
26:51Got a horse named Waterboy.
26:52Okay.
26:53Got a horse named Chance.
26:54I kind of think he should have went on a date with the horse.
26:57Not me.
26:59I don't know if Labrina told you, but one of my fears, I'm scared of horses.
27:05Now, we wouldn't make her.
27:06Oh.
27:09Child, you ain't even heard me out.
27:12Hell no.
27:13Oh.
27:15So when was your last date?
27:18It's been a while.
27:20Been divorced since 2007.
27:23Man, I was f***ing bitter.
27:24I didn't want love.
27:25I gave up on love.
27:26I'm on f***ing love.
27:28You know what I mean?
27:29Like, that's where I was at with it.
27:31And I'm just not getting to the point where you just kind of step outside a little bit
27:36and get outside a little bit.
27:37So what's your aspirations?
27:39Like, are you dating to just kind of have a good time, meet with people?
27:44You scared of horses?
27:48I'm not a person that's human.
27:49When was the last time you mentioned a ranch?
27:52Do you normally date women your age?
27:54I don't want to look like the grandpa.
27:57No, I ain't going to date nobody.
27:58I never date nobody younger than my daughter.
28:0031.
28:01I never, I never go younger than 31.
28:03I'm just a few years older than your daughter.
28:05So would you date an older guy?
28:08Um, yeah, I would.
28:10Yeah, I would.
28:11Well, it really depends on if he wants kids.
28:13Because I want kids, I don't have kids.
28:15So, right.
28:17I see your eyebrows going up.
28:20I get it.
28:21For me, I want kids.
28:22And I want several.
28:24Several kids?
28:25Yeah.
28:25How old are you?
28:3135.
28:3135.
28:3235.
28:32And how many kids you want to have?
28:34I want like three, but twins is a possibility.
28:39Oh, you're stressed.
28:40He gives me a drink.
28:42No, no, no, no, no, no, because, no, no, because, no, because, no, because, no, I only did it because I'm like, you want three kids at 35?
28:48There's nothing wrong with that.
28:49I commend you to the point where you took care of yourself, you took care of your business.
28:53That's interesting.
28:54Yeah.
28:54That's interesting.
28:56That's good for you.
28:57Yeah.
28:57I ain't going to say that's good for me.
29:00I'm open to dating someone that's a little bit older than me.
29:05Banks is a lot a bit older than me.
29:07And having kids is at the top of my list.
29:11I want to be a mom.
29:12When I mentioned that to Banks, he seemed like I had just said the worst thing in the world.
29:18Well, I've enjoyed our time.
29:20The conversation.
29:22Conversation is amazing.
29:24It was great.
29:25If you can sit there and converse with somebody, it's just like nobody in there.
29:28Me and you just like a B&U type vibe.
29:32You can't beat that.
29:33I love that.
29:33He talked about horses 80% of the time.
29:38Banks, thank you.
29:40But I'm going to withdraw from this.
29:44It's giving me overdraft.
29:46We had a great conversation.
29:47You scared the horse.
29:48You got to work on that horse situation, man.
29:50Like, I'll come over and help y'all if I need to.
29:52Okay.
29:53Well, I enjoyed our time.
29:55I enjoyed it, too.
29:56Yes.
29:57I'm going to head out.
29:58Okay.
30:00Coming up.
30:02I don't want to be in a situation where I have to cover up how I feel or I'm scared to tell you that I might be pregnant.
30:07Because I don't want to bother you.
30:10I'm a winner.
30:14I'm a winner.
30:15I'm a boss.
30:15I'm a boss.
30:16I'm a winner.
30:17I'm a winner.
30:18I don't care what it costs.
30:19I'm a winner.
30:20I'm a winner.
30:21I'm a boss.
30:21I'm a boss.
30:22I'm a winner.
30:23I'm a winner.
30:23I don't care what it costs.
30:28Hello.
30:29Bro.
30:29How you doing?
30:30Hey.
30:31I need a hug.
30:32All right.
30:32You get a hug.
30:33I need a hug today.
30:35Hey, sometimes we need hugs.
30:37I'm happy to give.
30:38How you doing today?
30:40I'm good.
30:41Welcome back.
30:42I'm happy you came back.
30:44I feel like I haven't seen you since my life.
30:46I did a few.
30:48Your life.
30:48Oh, my gosh.
30:49Okay.
30:50This is my second session with Dr. Angela.
30:53And my first one went great.
30:55I can feel it right now.
30:56I can feel that your energy is like, I compartmentalize my life like over here.
31:00This is work.
31:02This is, you know, motherhood.
31:04This is being a family.
31:05You are trying to break what has happened to you.
31:08As best as you can.
31:09Me talking to her was like talking to one of my friends rather than me sitting down with
31:12somebody who was way older than me.
31:13And I feel like they're judging me.
31:15So I'm looking forward to it because some things came up that we need to talk about.
31:19Last time we didn't really talk too much about work.
31:21And so what's been going on at work?
31:24It's just been a lot of like, I've been, I've given myself so much to so many different
31:29people for so long, right?
31:30And that whether it's through work or family or friendship or loyalty, right?
31:34But now it's time for me to be giving back to myself now.
31:38And it's hard for me, but just because it's just not naturally who I am.
31:42So if you feel like you're giving so much and you're not receiving, there's a boundary
31:46issue.
31:47It is ideally, it's like, okay, I'll just start saying no.
31:50Boundaries is way more than that.
31:52It's not just saying no to people.
31:54You're teaching people how to love you so you can love them.
31:57I need boundaries so I can love you the right way and I can love myself at the same time.
32:02I don't even like talking about it because it just bodes me, but I've been dealing with
32:05somebody for like two or three years, like three years or more.
32:08And he played basketball, right?
32:09So like I said, I always put my feelings behind because of him.
32:13I'm more worried about him than I'm worried about myself.
32:15I actually put my family and my friends and the men I date in front of me too.
32:20I feel like times like they may have a game and it's like, I can't have my emotions
32:24in that moment because they have something going on that's more important than my emotions
32:28in the moment.
32:28That's how I feel.
32:29I date and I've dated basketball players.
32:32I know how they are during the season.
32:33Their brains are wrapped around work.
32:36You damn near can't even bother them when it comes to certain stuff.
32:38It's like you have to cover your own feelings because of what they got going on, right?
32:42And I know that.
32:43But we know where we, my homegirl said something the other day because I went out and I was
32:46talking to her about it.
32:46That's why I thought I was pregnant.
32:47And I done got to the point in my life where I don't have to date a man because he gives
32:52me stuff because he does something or because his motion, I got my own motion.
32:55I got my own person and I'm proud of who I am.
32:59And I don't need a man for none of that.
33:01But I feel like a lot of stuff that he does for me financially and I give stuff like that
33:05is because he's making up for not being able to give me love or like time or stuff like
33:10that.
33:10And the situation, I've been in a situation before.
33:12It's like I'm numbing how I feel and what I have going on to keep him from having to
33:20deal with what I got going on because I know he got so much going on.
33:22Like everything he got going on is so much more important than what I got going on.
33:24So what did you teach him?
33:25What are you teaching him?
33:26That he's more important than me.
33:28What's weird is that it's easy for me to be loud about the little things that bother
33:32me.
33:32But when it comes to bigger situations like my work and my relationships, I tend to hold
33:37back my feelings.
33:38It's like I don't want to be in a situation where I have to cover up high fields or I'm
33:43scared to tell you that I might be pregnant because I don't want to bother you or inconvenience
33:52you.
33:52Yeah.
33:52Or like me being more public about what we got going on because I want it to affect him.
33:57But I just think it's like I put everything and everybody above my own self and I don't
34:13want to feel like that no more.
34:14When I thought I might be pregnant, I like to think about this like how this is going to
34:17affect him.
34:19How's it going to affect Sophia?
34:21How's it going to affect my job?
34:26You know, I can't even really even be happy about it or sad about it in the moment because
34:33I'm never really ever able to have my own feelings about things when I have to think about other
34:38people.
34:38You are dealing with issues of worth and you have carried that into your love life, friendships,
34:48business.
34:49You are constantly thinking of another person before yourself.
34:54That's exhausting.
34:56You're carrying other people's burdens and then swallowing your own.
35:00But you're also breaking the cycle by coming here and saying, I am tired.
35:05I'm tired.
35:06I'm tired of being second fiddle to everyone, even if it's because I made it that way.
35:12Right.
35:13You almost thought you were pregnant.
35:14That's a big deal, especially if it was unexpected because you're now thinking, I don't want to
35:20burden him.
35:23Him.
35:24So damn dumb.
35:25It's not dumb.
35:27That is the empathic part of you, right?
35:30It's your gift.
35:31It's also your curse.
35:32And being able to create better boundaries with yourself and other people is going to
35:37help you see.
35:39It's going to help you listen to your intuition much better.
35:43So this is going to be a journey.
35:46It is say, okay, how am I teaching this person to treat me?
35:49And it's also going to be very vulnerable for you.
35:53But that's what you need.
35:53I don't want to feel like I got to suppress my feelings for somebody else.
35:57So it's all about me now, about me loving myself, about me caring about my own feelings
36:02and putting them before anything else.
36:03You're entering a new chapter in your life.
36:05Josh.
36:20Yeah, what's up?
36:21Can I speak to you for a second?
36:23Yeah.
36:24I found out from Josh that the individual therapy is not taking place.
36:29So I feel very stuck.
36:31And it's very suffocating.
36:33I've been thinking about what LaToya has told me about couples therapy.
36:36And this is why I'm checking in with him.
36:39So I do want to just talk about, like, us.
36:42How are you experiencing everything?
36:46How are you feeling about everything?
36:48I don't want to be in another room.
36:51I don't.
36:52You know what I mean?
36:52I don't want our kids to see that.
36:55Do I think that was the better step than any other step we could have taken?
37:01It's just that you see.
37:01But I do hope I think it was the better step.
37:06And I don't enjoy this space either at all.
37:10But I'm in this space for a reason.
37:14There's things that have been done to me that I would never do to you.
37:18Ever.
37:18I can't negate my feelings and what I'm dealing with at the moment.
37:25Baby, I'm not asking you to.
37:26I feel like I'm constantly fighting.
37:28Fighting for us.
37:30I want it to work.
37:31But I also want you to want it to work as well.
37:35I don't think you always show it.
37:38I do.
37:39I don't think you always show it.
37:42So I want you to want it to work.
37:46And that's why I was pushing couples therapy out.
37:49I'm like, that's an easy first step of things that I need in this marriage.
37:54I've never been opposed to couples therapy.
37:57Yes, you have.
37:58I've just...
37:58No, no.
37:59Yes, you have.
38:00No.
38:00I've never been opposed.
38:02Would you consider marriage counseling?
38:06Couples counseling ain't going to maximize its potential.
38:09Let me focus on personal therapy.
38:13There's been instances where I said, hey, let's do couples therapy.
38:17And you brush it off.
38:19Okay.
38:20At this moment, I am extremely frustrated with Josh.
38:24And I know what's necessary for me to keep going in this.
38:29And I'm just not seeing it.
38:31You don't feel like I've made efforts?
38:34You've made efforts.
38:34But there's been a lot of steps backwards.
38:37Words, I just felt like there needs to be just a lot more action.
38:43And not just words.
38:45I'm really proud of myself for telling Josh exactly what I need.
38:50I got everything out.
38:52I don't want to sit in the same space for so long.
38:56That's exhausting.
38:58I'm sure we want to see both of us, like, look happy and be content within this marriage.
39:04And I do think it's possible.
39:05But also, I feel like there are conversations that need to be had.
39:11Healing that needs to be had to be in that space.
39:15And I'm trying to get there.
39:16So that's why I was like, hey, I just want you to do couples therapy.
39:19And that's going to help heal those spaces of where you hurt me.
39:26Okay.
39:34I'm trying.
39:36All right?
39:36I'm trying from this point on, is what you're saying.
39:42I've been trying.
39:44So, would you be comfortable with doing a couple's therapy?
39:47Yeah.
39:47I want you to be happy.
39:52Whatever I can do to help you do that, I will.
39:57Josh has agreed to do couples therapy.
39:59There's a little bit of relief.
40:02But I just want to see more projection.
40:04I need to see the energy.
40:06And I don't know if I'm seeing any of it.
40:08Next time, it's things that have happened up until this point.
40:23Josh, what is the thing?
40:25I messed up.
40:28How do you feel?
40:29Thought I was a burden.
40:31I just died of life.
40:32I'm moving myself.
40:33I have so much thought, prayers, and evaluation.
40:40Okay, Napa and Texas.
40:43Elena.
40:44That's all.
40:44You know my heart.
40:45You don't know my heart.
40:46I have to get to know your heart.
40:48That was a stab in the damn heart.
40:51I have to get to know your heart.
41:07I have to understand your heart.
41:08I love you.
41:08I love you.
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