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Stephen Colbert 2026 04 06 Keanu Reeves JOAN
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00:00The president's Easter morning truth social post announcing tomorrow will be, quote,
00:06power plant day and bridge day all wrapped up in one in Iran.
00:10There will be nothing like it.
00:12Open the expletive straight, you crazy expletives, or you'll be living in hell.
00:16Just watch.
00:17That post coming on Easter of all days got reaction from both sides of the political aisle.
00:23If you enjoy the president's expletive-laced Easter day message,
00:27then you'll love the 2026 damn White House Easter mother f***ing egg roll.
00:32Featuring fun for the whole family with finger painting for the kids.
00:36Get your picture taken with the Easter bunny, played by Samuel L. Jackson.
00:41I've had it with these mother f***ing eggs on this mother f***ing holiday.
00:47The 2026 damn White House Easter mother f***ing egg roll.
00:51Happy Easter and f*** your lives.
00:54It's The Late Show.
00:56It's Stephen Colbert.
00:59Tonight, Easter basket case, plus Stephen welcomes Keanu Reeves and Jack White.
01:12Featuring Louis Cato and the great big joy machine.
01:16And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City,
01:22it's Stephen Colbert.
01:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:46Welcome to The Late Show, everybody.
01:49I'm your host, Stephen Colbert, and I hope you all had a great, great weekend,
01:58whether you celebrated Passover or Easter or, like our president,
02:04went 100% cage-free crazy on the Internet.
02:08Because on Easter morning, he posted his latest plans for the war in Iran.
02:15Tuesday will be power plant day and bridge.
02:18They all wrapped up in one in Iran.
02:21There will be nothing like it.
02:22Open the straight, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in hell.
02:29Just watch.
02:31You know, it is not often that a network has to bleep the words of a sitting president.
02:37Hasn't happened since Truman put that famous sign on his desk.
02:40The stops.
02:44It'll all be bleeped.
02:45Yeah, yeah, it'll all be bleeped.
02:46All be bleeped.
02:47And blurred, right?
02:49All blurred, good.
02:51This, uh, this Easter Day threat of carnage had an unexpected ending.
02:56Praise be to Allah.
03:00President Donald J. Trump, praise be to Allah, as we say every Easter, Salam alaikum.
03:08It means no worries for the rest of your days.
03:15A few hours later, a few hours later, thank you.
03:22Thank you very much.
03:23You're very kind.
03:24A few hours later, he put out an extra post teasing some weeknight war crimes.
03:29Tuesday, 8 p.m. Eastern Time.
03:32Okay, he could be announcing a military attack in primetime tomorrow.
03:38He also might just be promoting NCIS.
03:4223 seasons of solving boat crime.
03:45This week, a canoe strangled a drifter.
03:49CBS, seven more weeks until I don't have to promote NCIS.
03:55But I will, I won't have to, but I will, because I love you, Gary Cole.
04:01Keep in mind, this promise of reigning hell if Iran doesn't open the strait is exact opposite
04:07of what Trump was saying last week when he said the strait is a problem that's, quote,
04:11not for us.
04:13But now he's back in with the hard deadline of tomorrow night.
04:16And this one's serious.
04:18Not like on March 21st when Trump said he would hit and obliterate power plants
04:23if Iran didn't reopen the strait within 48 hours.
04:26Or two days after that when he postponed strikes for five more days.
04:30Or four days later when he postponed attacks for 10 days.
04:34Which would have made the deadline today, April 6th.
04:37Except yesterday, he said it'll be tomorrow.
04:40At this point, he's tried every tactic except passive-aggressive parental guilt trip.
04:46Well, I guess you won't open the strait of Hormuz before I die, but that's fine.
04:52I mean, who needs oil when I'm clearly never going to have grandchildren?
04:55I don't, I don't need them.
04:58I have canasta, which would be a beautiful name for a girl.
05:05In other war news, this weekend, the U.S. military staged a daring and incredibly complex mission
05:11to rescue a downed airman from inside Iran as enemy forces raced to capture him.
05:17Amazing.
05:18It was amazing.
05:19It was breathtaking.
05:20Thanks to the hard work of hundreds of military personnel, the officer has safely returned home.
05:26And this morning, the president spoke about the operation during the White House Easter egg roll.
05:32What about the rescue that took place yesterday?
05:36What about that?
05:38It's something that you rarely see.
05:46Yes, you rarely see a military operation announced next to the Easter bunny.
05:53The closest is when President Obama did this.
05:56Good evening.
05:58Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has
06:04conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al-Qaeda.
06:10I remember.
06:12I remember.
06:13It was an amazing night.
06:16After the bunny left, Trump repeated his threats to Iran.
06:21We are obliterating that country, and I hate to do it, but we're obliterating, and they just
06:27don't want to say uncle.
06:29They don't want to cry as the expression goes, uncle, but they will.
06:32And if they don't, they'll have no bridges.
06:36They'll have no power plants.
06:38They'll have no anything.
07:04They really feel, I really got a feel for that peppy Easter band.
07:07It's hard to keep up your festive tootling while the president threatens to blow up civilian
07:13infrastructure.
07:19Did he just say he'll blow up their desalination plants?
07:23Isn't that illegal?
07:26Sorry.
07:33I don't go far.
07:42No training.
07:45Despite threatening to obliterate their country, Trump believes Iranian citizens are on his
07:50side.
07:50The Iranian people, when they don't hear bombs go off, they're upset.
07:55They want to hear bombs because they want to be free.
08:21You may not have heard it, but he's got a point.
08:23You aren't truly free unless you're being bombed.
08:26In the immortal words of Patrick Henry, give me liberty and blow me up.
08:35After some lighthearted death talk, Trump visited with kids to sign some of their drawings and
08:40talked about, you know, stuff kids just love.
08:43Does anybody have an auto pen?
08:45You know, Biden used to, they used to follow him with an auto pen and a card.
08:49And he gave everything to the auto pen because he was incapable of signing.
08:56But I can sign anything like a big boy.
08:58Let me show you.
09:00Give me that.
09:01Let me show you what I did on Jeffrey Epstein's birthday card.
09:03He goes like this.
09:05Allegedly.
09:06Allegedly.
09:09I didn't.
09:10Right there.
09:11Right there.
09:12There you go.
09:13Give that to your mom.
09:15There's some good news out there, way out there, because the Artemis 2 crew has now flown farther
09:22than humans ever have.
09:26They have flown.
09:27They are farther than humans have ever gone.
09:31But you have to ask, where are they running away from?
09:40Being so far away allows them to see our entire globe.
09:43And NASA shared these side-by-side photos taken by Apollo in 1972 and 2026 by Artemis.
09:52That is beautiful.
09:53That is amazing.
09:54That is stirring.
09:55But I got to say, 2026 Earth looks a lot less vibrant.
09:59Did we do that in the last 54 years?
10:03I look forward to Al Gore's next documentary, Earth, You Dusty-ass Bitch.
10:1020 years ago.
10:11Yeah.
10:12It's 20 years.
10:13It's time for a...
10:15Yesterday.
10:17It's just different cameras.
10:19It's just the two different cameras.
10:21Yesterday, one of the Artemis astronauts sent an Easter message.
10:24You have this amazing place, this spaceship.
10:27You guys are talking to us because we're in a spaceship really far from Earth,
10:30but you're on a spaceship called Earth that was created to give us a place to live in the universe,
10:36in the cosmos.
10:37You hear that?
10:38We're all on a spaceship.
10:40Which means we're all astronauts.
10:44Yeah.
10:45You're an astronaut.
10:46You're an astronaut.
10:48And I'm...
10:49I'm an astronaut.
10:50And they said I was crazy for pooping in my vacuum cleaner.
10:56I mean, I mean...
11:00Speaking of which, there was a slight space glitch this weekend.
11:03As you may know, there's no night or day in space,
11:06so Mission Control wakes up the astronauts every day with a song.
11:09And on Saturday, it was Pink Pony Club by Chapel Rhone.
11:14I'm just having fun on the stage in my heels.
11:21We were all eagerly awaiting the chorus.
11:27Wow.
11:29I know he's in space, but that's got to be a huge disappointment.
11:32I wonder if there's anything I can do to cheer them up.
11:36Yeah.
11:47Nice catch.
11:48You guys are good.
11:49You guys are good.
11:51Now, everybody's fine,
11:53but something else has gone wrong with the mission
11:55because more than halfway to the moon,
11:57the Artemis II astronauts grappled with a toilet problem.
12:01Now, luckily, the astronauts have trained extensively
12:03on NASA's broken toilet simulator.
12:07A greyhound bus.
12:14Mission specialist.
12:16Christina Cook has emerged as the head astronaut
12:19in charge of the head, as she explained to a reporter.
12:22I heard that there was a little bit of an issue with the toilet.
12:25Which one of you was the plumber?
12:32I'll take that one.
12:33I'm the space plumber.
12:34I'm proud to call myself the space plumber.
12:37Some people call her space plumber.
12:41Some people call her Maurice.
12:46Thank you, Bob.
12:47That's for you, Bob.
12:51Apparently, the problem was caused
12:52by a frozen waste plug in the toilet pipe line,
12:56which the crew solved by rotating the spacecraft
12:58so sunlight could warm the frozen pipe.
13:01Turns out, the solution to their problem
13:03was to point it where the sun do shine.
13:07She's not just...
13:09Thank you very much.
13:12Oh, some good news about the crew.
13:14Cook confirmed that they have been able to rest and sleep comfortably
13:18in their 16.5-foot-wide Orion capsule,
13:21which has a habitable volume roughly equivalent to a camper van.
13:26Yeah!
13:26Or, as New Yorkers know it,
13:28gorgeous five-bedroom sun-drenched apartment,
13:32inquire about SYNC.
13:36We've got a great show for you tonight.
13:38My guests are Keanu Reeves and Jack White.
13:42When we come back,
13:43what's going on in the rest of the world?
13:45Ooh, ooh.
13:47Ooh!
13:48Ooh!
13:49Ooh!
13:53Ooh!
13:57Ooh!
14:18THE GREAT BIG JOY MACHINE.
14:20THERE YOU GO.
14:25WHO ELSE IS IN THE JOY MACHINE TONIGHT?
14:27WHO'S JOINING US?
14:29WE HAVE FROM THE RECENTLY HALL OF FAME INDUCTED DAVE MATTHEWS BAND,
14:33THE TRUMPETER, WITH SEAN ROCK, EVERYBODY!
14:36THANK YOU, BAND.
14:37THANK YOU, BAND.
14:39COMING UP, WE GOT A POWER-PACKED SHOW, MY FRIEND.
14:42POWER-PACKED SHOW.
14:43COMING UP, WE GOT NONE OTHER THAN KEIANO REEVES AND JACK WHITES.
14:48RIGHT THERE.
14:50WHOO!
14:51BEFORE WE GO ON, I JUST WANT TO TAKE A SECOND TO TIP MY HAT
14:55TO MY SOCIAL MEDIA TEAM,
14:56WHO'VE GOTTEN THE LATE SHOW NOMINATED FOR TWO WEBBY AWARDS,
14:59SOCIAL VIDEO, SHORT FORM TELEVISION AND FILM,
15:01AND GENERAL SOCIAL TELEVISION AND FILM.
15:05VERY EXCITING.
15:06WE ARE UP AGAINST HEATED RIVERY IN BOTH CATEGORIES.
15:11AND I'M TOLD IT'S NECK AND NECK,
15:12WHICH MY STAFF INSISTS IS NOT CODE FOR ANYTHING.
15:17PRETTY SURE IT IS.
15:20I EVEN ASKED MY STAFF IT WOULD HELP IF I SHOWED MY NAKED BUTT MORE,
15:23AND THEY TOLD ME THEY WOULD ALL, QUOTE,
15:27LOSE OUR LEGAL RIGHT TO HAVE THE INTERNET.
15:31SO IF YOU ENJOY OUR SOCIAL MEDIA FEED,
15:34YOU CAN HIT THIS QR CODE RIGHT THERE.
15:36VOTE FOR US OVER AT THE WEBBY'S WEBSITE,
15:38WHICH SUSPICIOUSLY HAS NEVER WON A WEBBY.
15:43FOLKS, THERE'S A FUN FACT FROM THE ARTIMUS II MISSION.
15:46THE UNITED STATES IS PART OF SOMETHING CALLED THE WORLD.
15:49AND THERE IT IS RIGHT THERE.
15:52AND STUFF HAPPENS THERE, TOO.
15:54AND I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN MY INTERNATIONAL SEGMENT.
16:01WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE?
16:04FIRST UP, THE BAHAMAS.
16:10OKAY?
16:12OKAY?
16:13YOU TAKE YOUR TIME.
16:14YOU TAKE YOUR TIME.
16:17FIRST UP, THE BAHAMAS.
16:19COME ON, PRETTY MAMAS.
16:21ACCORDING TO REPORTS, B.B. THE PARROT HAS GONE VIRAL FOR EXPLORING THE
16:26BAHAMAS IN A CUSTOM-BUILT SUBMARINE.
16:30YEAH, YEAH, IT'S ADORABLE.
16:31BUT I THINK WE'RE USING THE WORDS EXPLORING AND SUBMARINE VERY GENEROUSLY HERE.
16:38THAT HEADLINE COULD ALSO READ, CONFUSED BIRD TRAPPED IN NALGENE BOTTLE WOULD LIKE THIS TO BE OVER.
16:50EXPLORING.
16:51NEXT UP, WHAT'S GOING ON IN INDIA?
16:54ACCORDING TO EXPERTS, LONI INDIA, A SMALL CITY OUTSIDE DELI, HAS THE WORLD'S WORST AIR.
16:59COMING IN AT A CLOSE SECOND IS THAT ONE CAR ON THE F-TRAIN THAT ISN'T CROWDED FOR SOME REASON.
17:07MOVING ON, MOVING ON, MOVING ON, TO YET ANOTHER COUNTRY, SWEDEN, THE ONE THAT ISN'T NORWAY.
17:17BIG PROMOTIONAL NEWS FROM SWEDEN'S FURNITURE MAVENS, BECAUSE THERE'S A NEW IKEA POKEMON CROSSOVER COMING.
17:23YES.
17:24VERY EXCITING.
17:25VERY EXCITING.
17:26FOR A LIMITED TIME, THEIR FAMOUS MEATBALLS WILL BE MADE OUT OF GROUND PIKACHU.
17:33OH, YEAH.
17:34NO, 100%.
17:35NO, IT'S HAPPENING.
17:36IT'S HAPPENING.
17:37I'M SORRY.
17:37ALL RIGHT.
17:38NEXT UP, WE'RE HEADING TO ENGLAND, WHERE A MAN JUST KILLED ANOTHER MAN, BUT IT WAS OVER SOCCER,
17:43SO THEY SAID IT WAS OKAY.
17:45IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORY, ONE ENGLISH RESTAURANT IS ASKING,
17:49WOULD YOU EAT STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING ON PIZZA?
17:52YES!
17:53BOOM!
17:53I AM CRUSHING THIS NEWS QUIZ.
17:57THE NEW GLOP COMES FROM LONDON'S CIRCUS PIZZA, SO NAMED BECAUSE OF THEIR VALUE MEAL,
18:03WHERE YOU RECEIVE A SLICE OF PIZZA, A SODA, AND GET TO MISTREAT AN ELEPHANT.
18:13BUT YOU ALL LAUGHED AT GROUND-UP POKEMON.
18:19WHO'S THE MONSTER NOW?
18:23ALSO IN ENGLAND, AT THE UNIVERSITY OF EAST ANGLIA, RESEARCHERS FOUND THE ODDS OF ORDERING
18:28A VEGETARIAN DISH INCREASED BY 22% WHEN THEY PRINTED PICTURES OF ANIMALS NEXT TO THE MEAT
18:34OPTIONS ON THE MENU.
18:35FOR EXAMPLE, A PIG NEXT TO PORK GEROS AND A COW NEXT TO BEEF BOLONNAISE.
18:40WELL, YEAH.
18:43BUT THAT'S JUST EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION.
18:46YOU CAN DO THAT WITH VEGETABLES, TOO.
18:49THIS GARBONZO BEAN IS NAMED KATIE.
18:52SHE HAS THREE LITTLE BOYS AND IS WORKING TWO JOBS TO BUY THEM BIKES FOR CHRISTMAS.
18:56EVEN THOUGH THEY SAID, WE'D BE HAPPY WITH JUST A BIG HUG.
18:59PLEASE DON'T WORK SO HARD, MOMMY.
19:01LET US KISS AWAY YOUR TEARS.
19:06ANYWAY, SHALL WE GRIND KATIE UP TO MAKE YOUR HUMMUS NOW, YOU MONSTER?
19:13THAT JOKE MADE ME CRY.
19:16WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KEYANO REEVES.
19:39WELCOME BACK.
19:41YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUESTS FROM FILMS LIKE SPEED, THE MATRIX, AND JOHN WICK.
19:48PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, KEYANO REEVES.
20:16HELLO, NEW YORK.
20:18IT'S NEW YORK.
20:34Good to see you again.
20:38You're looking well.
20:39Thank you, sir.
20:41Thank you for wearing something for the Easter season.
20:46Resurrection.
20:46There it is.
20:47There it is.
20:48Resurrection.
20:49In his own shroud.
20:50Last time you were here, you were with your co-star and your dear friend, Alex Winter, taking a break
20:54from your Broadway performances of Waiting for Ghetto.
20:59Yes.
20:59And how many months?
21:01Four, five?
21:02It was 14 weeks.
21:0514 weeks.
21:06Okay, like eight a week, something like that?
21:07Yeah, eight a week, except for the holidays.
21:09How did you do it?
21:10Have you decompressed from that yet?
21:12Because that's a very intense situation.
21:15Yeah, it is.
21:17I'm still in shock.
21:20Because it's not just any play for 14 weeks.
21:23No, Waiting for Ghetto is pretty intense.
21:26It seems like you know.
21:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:27Yeah, it's an amazing work, and doing it was a dream of a lifetime.
21:35The reality of it was even more intense and remarkable, and it's something that you're in, and then it ends,
21:43and it's what happened, and now did that.
21:48Is it like grief and sort of like there's like confusion involved with it?
21:52No, you don't even know.
21:53It's like, I would imagine it's like if someone just cut off your arm.
21:58I'm glad you can only imagine that.
22:01Well, I mean, in the sense of like, oh, my arm just got cut off.
22:06Now, the pain that you're associating with it ending is that you caught the bug.
22:10Do you want to do it more?
22:11Do you want to do it again?
22:12I do.
22:12I do.
22:13I do.
22:14Yeah.
22:15Right play.
22:17The right what?
22:17The right play.
22:18Okay.
22:19It was the right play, but I would not say no to that.
22:23Yeah.
22:24Would you do Ghetto again?
22:25Yes.
22:26Oh.
22:26What am I saying?
22:28Yes.
22:29Because people are just booking tickets right now because you said that.
22:31Well, that's nice.
22:32But you've done New York.
22:32Where would you go?
22:33London?
22:34Japan?
22:35I wouldn't mind going to Japan.
22:36Sure.
22:37Japan.
22:37Yeah.
22:38Wow.
22:38Okay.
22:39Yeah.
22:39Like do the West End and then go to Tokyo.
22:42Yeah.
22:42The East End.
22:43Yes.
22:45The Far East End.
22:46Far East End.
22:47Okay.
22:48You have a new film coming out.
22:50Yes.
22:50Called Outcome.
22:51Outcome.
22:52Which looks fantastic.
22:53This Friday.
22:54Tell us a little bit about it and who you play, please.
22:55It's directed by Jonah Hill, who's also acting in it.
22:58Yes.
22:59Amazing.
22:59Fantastic.
23:01Amazing.
23:04And it was co-written by Ezra Woods.
23:07And I play a guy named Reef Hawk.
23:11Great name.
23:12Great name.
23:13Reef Hawk.
23:14Yes.
23:14Almost as good as Keanu Reeves, but not quite.
23:17Reef Hawk, okay.
23:18Reef Hawk.
23:18Who's Reef?
23:19Reef is an actor.
23:21He's a childhood actor.
23:22Okay.
23:23And he grew up and then he kind of went crazy.
23:26But he, when we meet him, he's five years sober.
23:30He thinks he's got his life together.
23:33And then he gets a call from his crisis lawyer, who's Jonah.
23:37And he's like, there's a videotape.
23:40And I'm like, what's on it?
23:42He goes, we don't know.
23:44What do you mean we don't know?
23:45We don't know.
23:46And so it's kind of like, I'm kind of making amends, but I kind of, to my friends and I
23:52want
23:52to, but I want to find out who actually, who's doing, who's trying to extort me.
23:57And having to take stock, I assume, of your behavior.
24:00Yeah, because I have a bit of a checkered past that was kind of, you know, protect.
24:05I was protected.
24:06Yeah.
24:06And then I have two, my two high school friends, Cameron Diaz and Matt Bomer.
24:13That's nice.
24:14You and Cameron, this is a bit of a reunion.
24:16Here are the two of you are from 30 years ago in Feeling, Minnesota.
24:21Yeah.
24:22Was that a nice reunion?
24:24Yeah, it was very sweet.
24:25Yeah, very nice.
24:26Very nice.
24:26I've never, I've never met her.
24:27Is she nice?
24:28Oh my gosh, she's incredible.
24:29Yeah, then why didn't she come on?
24:32Anyway, so the story is about like, what's going to happen?
24:34And it's a story of friendship, redemption, self-learning knowledge, and the importance
24:40of being honest, and Martin Scorsese's in it.
24:43Well, that's just it.
24:43I wanted to ask you is that you have a scene, you act opposite Scorsese.
24:50What is that like?
24:54Uh, it's better than getting your arm bitten off.
24:56No.
24:57Um, it's amazing.
24:59It's amazing.
25:00It's like, I mean, obviously, you know, the legacy, the art.
25:04Sure.
25:04Um, I've had a chance to meet with him over the years.
25:07He's just remarkable, and to act with him is extraordinary.
25:11Um, you're just working with him, and everything just feels really real, and everything kind of
25:17disappears.
25:17He's playing my manager, like, when I was a kid.
25:21And, um, you know, uh, so he's very, uh, kind to me.
25:27So he's saying nice things, but, you know, it's, and you believe it.
25:32So it's nice.
25:33Yes.
25:34I mean, everyone's like, it's Martin Scorsese.
25:37I know.
25:38And, like, it's just everyone's like, it's Martin Scorsese.
25:41I know.
25:42It's like right there.
25:42Yeah.
25:43He's just walking by.
25:44Yeah.
25:45I interviewed him a couple times, just sitting right there.
25:48Right, right.
25:48And while he's answering the questions, I didn't hear a word he said.
25:51No.
25:51You're just going, it's Martin Scorsese.
25:53It's Martin Scorsese.
25:54It's Martin Scorsese.
25:54Yeah, exactly.
25:55And he's saying amazing stuff.
25:57Exactly.
25:57And when the noise would stop coming out of him, I'd go, wow.
26:00Yeah, like that.
26:02He wouldn't even know.
26:03They didn't hear a damn thing he was saying.
26:04No, but you'd love it.
26:05Another one of your co-stars, this is pretty exciting.
26:07We have a clip here with the one and only Susan Lucci, who co-stars with you.
26:12Wonderful to see her.
26:13She looks fantastic.
26:14Amazing.
26:15Can you tell us a little bit of what?
26:16We're going to see a clip here.
26:17Do we need to know anything?
26:17Yeah, she's my mom and a bit of a stage mom.
26:21I have some, we have some issues and she's doing a reality show.
26:26And she's invited me on the reality.
26:29Like, I wanted to apologize to her, but she said, that's great, honey.
26:32Can we do it on my show?
26:36And I think that's a problem.
26:38Okay.
26:38And so we're, this is us doing, saying hi to each other on her show.
26:42Yvonne.
26:43A reality show.
26:45It's been so long, mom.
26:49It has.
26:53I have a lot to, uh, apologize to you for.
26:59For starters, I was often very rude about you participating in this kind of entertainment.
27:10I'm sorry for that.
27:17Sorry.
27:18Can we try that one more time, huh?
27:20The label wasn't sheeting towards camera.
27:25She's so good.
27:26Yeah.
27:27She's so good.
27:28We have to take a quick break.
27:29We'll be right back with more.
27:30Keanu Reeves, everybody.
27:37I just love it.
27:38Hey everybody, look at this.
27:40Hello, that is, that is the star of Outcome on Apple TV starting this Friday, Mr. Keanu Reeves.
27:47Okay, so much like your character.
27:50Reef Hawk.
27:51Reef Hawk.
27:52Reef Hawk, you also have been performing since you were pretty young.
27:55Yeah.
27:55And I'm just curious, how old were you when you got the first, like, paycheck?
27:58When I was a professional?
28:00Yeah.
28:00Uh, 16, 17 in the fog of memory.
28:03Yeah.
28:03Yeah.
28:03Was it by any chance for a, uh, a cereal commercial?
28:07Oh, we're doing that?
28:08We're done.
28:10What?
28:10I don't know if we're, I don't know if we're doing that, but, but I'm doing this.
28:16Well, I'm awake, make no mistake, I want the best in my bowl.
28:23I want Kellum's Corn Flakes.
28:25Give me that Christmas
28:26Give me that Christmas
28:27Give me that sunshine taste
28:29Give me that sunshine
28:30Give me that sunshine
28:31Give me that come off taste
28:33I want the best in my bowl
28:35I want Callum Corn Flakes
28:42You're really enjoying that cereal
28:44Love the cereal
28:45You love it, man
28:45Bite and smile
28:46Like, just like
28:47Wow
28:48I mean, I like Corn Flakes
28:49So I like Corn Flakes, too
28:50I can tell you love Corn Flakes
28:52You can't fake that
28:52That's the gig, man
28:54Well, I love it
28:55Listen, I was a young actor
28:57It's exciting to get a commercial, man
28:59Yeah, no
29:00I would actually
29:01I mean, I don't know
29:02Who cares
29:02But I was just
29:03I would never audition
29:04For something I didn't like
29:06Oh, wow
29:07Which is weird
29:08So if they said
29:09You know, like
29:09Corn Flakes, yes
29:10Frosted Flakes, that
29:11Actually, they're great
29:17Sorry
29:18Sorry
29:19Sorry
29:20Very good
29:21You're very good
29:22You're very good
29:22You're very good
29:23You just need a little bandana
29:24You'll be all set
29:25It's Tony the Tiger
29:29Now, when you
29:29What's up with the yellow eyes?
29:31I'm right there
29:31What did you say?
29:32The yellow eyes of Tony the Tiger
29:34Tony the Tiger has yellow eyes?
29:35Yeah, look at the box, man
29:36He has jaundice?
29:37He's like a junkie
29:40Sharon Needles?
29:41Over at
29:43Just look at Tony the Tiger
29:44Kellogg's?
29:44Yeah
29:45All right, I didn't know that
29:46We'll check that out
29:48We'll get somebody on that
29:49We'll get back to you
29:50We'll get an explanation for that
29:51This is gonna get caught
29:51This is gonna get edited out
29:52Okay
29:52When you aren't working
29:53Which always seems like you're working
29:55I'm trying
29:55You're like the hardest working man
29:56All the time
29:57You're the bassist of the band Dogstar
30:00Here you are
30:01Again
30:0130 years ago
30:04There you go
30:06Same guy
30:08Same guy
30:0930 years since your first album
30:11You got a new album
30:11And a tour coming out soon
30:13Yeah
30:13Tell me about that
30:14Yeah, Dogstar
30:15I play electric bass
30:17Album's called All In Now
30:18The single's out
30:19There's a video
30:20It's kind of fun
30:21And we start touring the states
30:23On August 1st
30:24We start in Europe
30:25June 11th and Dublin
30:27Wow
30:28Yeah
30:29International tour
30:30Yeah, yeah
30:31That's fantastic
30:32Yeah
30:32Great town, Dalton
30:33Great music town
30:34It's so good
30:35That's great
30:35I like being nice
30:36How do you like being a rock star?
30:38I'm not a rock star
30:39You're touring internationally
30:41With a rock band
30:42Yeah, we're like a band
30:43But they're not a rock star
30:45I mean, there's a rock star
30:46I'm not a rock star
30:47Like Jack White's gonna come out here
30:49He's a rock star
30:51Well, he's more
30:53He's more than just a rock star
30:55Yes, he's Jack White
30:56He's a rock star
30:57Yeah, exactly
30:58Yeah
30:58I think you're a rock star
30:59I'm not a rock star
31:01No, stop
31:02Anyway, let's move on
31:04But it's a lot of fun
31:06You know, we did it
31:08We made a couple albums
31:09We broke up for like 20 years
31:11Then we got together
31:12And at 23, we made another album
31:14And this is our second album
31:17In the second incarnation
31:18So it's cool
31:19What do you love about it?
31:21I love the writing the music
31:24All of us kind of coming together
31:26And making the songs
31:27And then I love playing live
31:29Love playing live
31:32Outcome is available this Friday
31:34On Apple TV
31:35Keanu, thanks so much for being here
31:37Keanu Beams, everybody
31:38We'll be right back
31:39With Jack White, rock star
31:57Welcome back, friends
31:58Ladies and gentlemen
32:00My next guest tonight
32:01Is a 12-time Grammy Award-winning
32:03Rock and Roll Hall of Famer
32:05Please welcome back
32:06To The Late Show
32:07Jack White
32:33Wow, this crowd is so welcoming
32:35Yeah, nice to see you again
32:36See you too
32:37The great Louis Cato over there
32:38Yes
32:39Come on, man
32:39Yes
32:40The great Big Joy machine
32:41Yeah
32:41Now, last November
32:46White Stripes were inducted
32:47In Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
32:48All right
32:53Congrats, congrats on that
32:54Thank you
32:54Is it a nice night?
32:55Yeah, it was wild
32:57Yeah, sure
32:57In your speech
32:59You thanked your family
33:01Yeah
33:01For a lot of things
33:02But for letting you
33:03Let's see
33:04Make all that noise
33:06In the house
33:07All the time growing up
33:09Yeah
33:09What kind of noise
33:12Were we talking?
33:13Well, there was 10 kids
33:14In the family
33:14So there was
33:15Already a lot of noise
33:17Going on
33:17And you fall
33:18I'm the youngest of the 10
33:19You know what that's like
33:21Sure, I'm the youngest of 11
33:22You beat me
33:23Finally got it right
33:24Yes
33:26Keep trying
33:27Okay, so it's already noisy
33:28Because there's 10 people there
33:29Exactly
33:30You know, chaos
33:30Yeah, and then
33:31But it's also in
33:33Inner city Detroit, too
33:34Which in the 70s and 80s
33:35Was kind of
33:37You could probably set up
33:38Your band on the front lawn
33:39And nobody
33:39You could do whatever you wanted
33:41You know, so we were
33:41That was in the mix, too
33:43But it was really gracious
33:44Of them to let me
33:45My parents
33:46To let me make so much noise
33:48So
33:48Did you go down to the basement?
33:49Up in the attic
33:50Up in the attic?
33:51Yes, yeah
33:51So you're broadcasting
33:52To the entire neighborhood
33:53Yes, exactly
33:54Why the attic?
33:54Did it not have a basement?
33:56I think the basement
33:57Was full of about
33:5860 years of clothing
33:59From all these kids
34:00You know, so
34:01Oh, there it is
34:02Yeah
34:02My dad's tools and stuff, too
34:03Was it always guitar
34:04Or did you play other instruments?
34:05No, drums was all
34:06I played growing up
34:07Oh, really?
34:08Yeah
34:08All I wanted to be
34:09Was a drummer
34:10Wow
34:10Gene Krupa, Mitch Mitchell
34:12Wow
34:12And this was
34:13Yeah
34:14Guitar was
34:16I'm so sorry
34:16That didn't work out for you
34:17I'm sorry, yeah, too
34:18Yeah
34:19So
34:19I thought maybe tonight
34:20I could audition
34:21Yeah, well, at the end
34:23Of the interview
34:23If you want to jump in
34:24Over there
34:24No one's going to stop you
34:25She's doing too good already
34:27I'm not going to mess with you
34:31You know, I wrote you
34:33About this recently
34:33I was very sorry to hear
34:34About the passing
34:35Of your mom, Teresa
34:36Yeah, yeah
34:36You know, especially
34:37A big family
34:38The mom is so important
34:39Holds everybody together
34:41Just last month
34:42You posted some beautiful photos
34:43Eby and I were looking
34:44At these this weekend
34:45Some beautiful photos
34:46Of you and your mom
34:48Here you are
34:49On stage
34:49On stage
34:50Look how much pride
34:52She's got in you
34:52And this is just fantastic
34:54This is her doing your hair
34:56For you backstage
34:59In this photo
35:00I'm sitting down
35:01In this photo
35:02She's standing up
35:08She was a very small woman
35:09Other than minuscule
35:12How do you best
35:13Remember your mother?
35:14Tell us about her
35:14She's the best
35:15She's a saint
35:16She's just the saint
35:16You know
35:17And she said something
35:19She was kind of
35:20She was incredibly funny
35:21Without realizing
35:22How funny she was
35:23If you love that kind of person
35:24If you have someone
35:25In your life like that
35:27Winter
35:27Last winter
35:28I was driving
35:29She wanted to go to mass
35:30So at this Capuchin monastery
35:32So I took her mass
35:33And it was my kids in the back
35:35Scarlett Henry
35:36And my mom in the front
35:37And we were driving
35:38In this jeep
35:39And it's icy in Detroit
35:40In the winter time
35:41Of course
35:42So just to get
35:43A little reaction out of her
35:44I thought I'd give
35:45Just slide the truck
35:46A little bit
35:46There's no cars
35:47No people around
35:48It's empty streets
35:49In Detroit
35:49So I just went
35:50You know
35:51Just a little turn
35:52And she goes
35:52Whoa, whoa, whoa
35:54Stop that
35:55That's not funny
35:56And I'm like
35:56Mom it's really icy
35:58I don't know
35:58If I can control it that way
35:59She goes
36:00Well you have to get
36:00Control of it
36:01I said
36:01Well listen
36:02When I get to
36:03The church parking lot
36:04I'm going to be doing
36:05Donuts
36:06When we get to
36:06The church parking lot
36:07And she goes
36:09Well they have
36:10Coffee and donuts
36:10After a match
36:17That's who she was
36:21People think of you
36:22Obviously as a musician
36:23But you're also
36:24A very visual guy
36:25You're about to do
36:27Your first public
36:30Sculpture show
36:31Yeah
36:32First art show
36:33Here we go
36:34This is
36:34Where's it being done
36:35Damien Hirst's gallery
36:36In London
36:37Okay
36:37He invited
36:38He asked
36:38I showed him some
36:39Pictures of my sculptures
36:40I've worked on
36:40Over the years
36:41It's called platinum
36:42Yeah this is a
36:43So this is a
36:44I was garbage picking
36:45These wood pallets
36:46You know
36:47And I found
36:47That they made metal ones
36:49So I had this one
36:50Chrome plated
36:51So you can't
36:52It's hard to see
36:52In the photo
36:53But it's fully reflective
36:54Like a mirror
36:55The idea is
36:56This is a fake company
36:57This part of the art show
36:58Is a fake
36:59Pallet company
37:00That thinks they need
37:01To make
37:02Pallets
37:02For different industries
37:03So that's the
37:05Platinum edition
37:05That's the platinum
37:06Oh
37:07And this is
37:08For the finest
37:08In your palette needs
37:09Yeah yeah
37:10Go all the way
37:10Throw it
37:11And then this one
37:11This is the
37:12Fruit seller's
37:15Roadside palette
37:16Okay
37:16So you know
37:18A country
37:18They think that
37:19They need to
37:20Make this specifically
37:21For them
37:22And this one
37:22Oh and this is
37:23The presidential model
37:34You also have a new book
37:35Yes
37:37You have a new book out
37:38Okay
37:39The book is called
37:40Jack White
37:40Collected Lyrics
37:41And Selected Writing
37:42Volume 1
37:43Yeah
37:43Okay
37:50Lyrics
37:51Yeah
37:56Why?
38:00Good question
38:02There's like
38:04This was kind of my test
38:05To write a book of poetry
38:07I thought I'd sneak it in
38:09With the lyrics
38:10Of someone
38:10Is there poetry in here
38:11Other than your lyrics
38:13In the back
38:13Yeah
38:13So you've snuck in
38:14A couple of things
38:15That are not
38:16Can I read you one?
38:17Oh I would love it
38:18We love poetry
38:19Yeah
38:20Please
38:25It's a quick one
38:26It's called
38:26Just Suppose to Juxtapose
38:29All images are pornographic
38:32They say
38:33Taking something living
38:34And breathing
38:35With a soul
38:36And reducing it down
38:37To a two-dimensional object
38:39You can crumble up
38:40And dispose of at will
38:42All crime is a variation
38:44On theft
38:45They say
38:46Murder is theft
38:47Of another person's life
38:49Graffiti is theft
38:50Of someone's property
38:51A razor-thin veneer
38:53Of someone's property
38:54All glory is fleeting
38:56They say
38:56Desired and sought after
38:58By so many
38:59But all too often
39:00Maybe always
39:02The reward is empty
39:03And pointless
39:05But love
39:06Cannot be
39:07Compared
39:08Or dissected
39:10Or defined
39:11To be negative
39:12Or pulverized
39:14And destroyed
39:14By cynical sentences
39:15And sour ravings
39:18It cannot be denied
39:19Or ignored
39:20It is
39:21Love is
39:23And we desire it
39:25And need it
39:26And deserve it
39:27But it's not free
39:30Well
39:31It should be
39:36Thank you Jack
39:38That was beautiful
39:41Jack Wyatt everybody
39:44We'll be right back
39:53That's it for the Late Show everybody
39:55To your tomorrow
39:56My guests will be
39:57Oprah Winfrey
39:58And Brandi Carlisle
39:59Good night
39:59Thank you
40:01Thank you
40:06Thank you
40:08Thank you
40:12Thank you
40:12I
40:13I
40:13I
40:14I
40:24I
40:25I
40:26I
40:28I
40:32You
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