- 18 hours ago
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00:30The only main thing that she's ever done is break up with...
00:33Maybe we could...
00:34Get together.
00:35For real.
00:36Date.
00:37Martin, inhale.
00:38Exhale.
00:40Hey, Martin, buddy.
00:41Not sure if you're here yet, but if...
00:47Um, I'm gonna call you back, buddy.
00:50We were both riding the adrenaline of the moment,
00:52but I'm happy to pretend it never happened.
00:56Good night.
01:04You don't think he looks depressed?
01:07I think he looks like a dog.
01:09Whatever he's feeling can be solved by sleeping, eating, pooping,
01:13or destroying a pair of my shoes.
01:23What's got them so interested?
01:25I have no idea.
01:31It looks like you have the flu.
01:33So?
01:34You and Louisa, huh?
01:35I beg your pardon?
01:36I mean, I get why you like her.
01:38She's a ray of sunshine.
01:40But you?
01:41Here you go, babe.
01:41Thanks.
01:42So you and Doc Martin, huh?
01:43I did not see that coming.
01:45Like at all.
01:46Uh, excuse me?
01:48So to manage your flu symptoms, you need to hydrate and take pain relievers as needed.
01:51You know who needs pain relievers right now?
01:53Sheriff Mark!
01:55Woo-hoo!
01:56Come on!
01:57Up high, baby!
01:58Up high!
01:58Yes!
02:00I think it's great.
02:02Love can come at any age, you know?
02:04What?
02:04It's the flu, Mr. Collins.
02:07Any questions?
02:08Who initiated the kiss?
02:10How passionate are we talking?
02:12How did he kiss?
02:14I picture a turtle eating a piece of lotus.
02:18Oh, my God.
02:20Oh, my God.
02:21Oh, my God.
02:22Oh, my God.
02:23Absolutely not.
02:31What's this?
02:32Ticket.
02:33Your car's parked in the red.
02:35I've parked exactly where I always have since I got here.
02:37I've turned a blind eye before, but those days are over.
02:41Mark, it's for $50. Let me just go out and move it.
02:43Sorry.
02:44Some mistakes can't be just moved back.
02:47What?
02:48What?
02:49Mark, since when do you go out giving tickets like this?
02:52Since when do you care nothing about rules and tickets?
02:54Since when do you care nothing about rules and tickets?
02:54I don't know.
02:56I don't know what's going on right now.
02:57Yeah, me neither.
02:58Not after what I saw in the parking lot of the hospital.
03:01Wait.
03:01What?
03:03You saw that?
03:04Yeah.
03:06It might not be a crime, but it doesn't make it right.
03:14You want me to close the door?
03:16You don't have to.
03:44What are you doing here?
03:46You don't have to flu like everyone else, do you?
03:49Nope.
03:50But, word around town, though, is that you and a certain adorable-
03:56Not you, too.
03:57This is a nightmare.
03:59Is there privacy anywhere?
04:01In Port Wynn?
04:02Not really.
04:03So, what happened?
04:06Nothing.
04:09All right, fine.
04:10After a very long day tending to Peter Kronk together,
04:16the natural bond people feel in a crisis boiled over.
04:20And you and Louisa kissed.
04:23Hmm.
04:24Well, good for you.
04:25You've been carrying a torch for her since you laid eyes on her.
04:33What did you do wrong?
04:34Nothing.
04:35Why do you assume that I-
04:35Come on, what?
04:37Nothing.
04:37Tell me.
04:38No.
04:40Martin.
04:40I may have suggested that we pretend it never happened.
04:45Oh, my God.
04:46Why?
04:47Spare us both the trouble.
04:49I-
04:51Martin.
04:52Is that how you really feel about love?
04:54Or were you just trying to blow the whole thing up to protect yourself so you wouldn't get hurt?
04:59Well, either way, very insensitive.
05:02You're gonna have to apologize for that ASAP.
05:08I have to go see George and Greg.
05:11Apologize, Martin.
05:16Miss Michelle.
05:17You can call me Savannah.
05:19You have fever, aches, and fatigue.
05:23Sounds like the flu.
05:24Are you sure we shouldn't be talking about that little patient?
05:27He's running on a very low frequency.
05:29No idea what that means.
05:30Well, your dog is depressed, obviously.
05:33Well, for starters, he's not my dog.
05:36Oh.
05:37I'm with a patient.
05:38Please go now.
05:41Elaine!
05:42Open.
05:44What?
05:45Get him out of here.
05:48Buddy, come on.
05:49Come on.
05:50Okay.
05:51We have a low fever.
05:55Lymph nodes are inflamed.
05:57Okay, just FYI, understanding animals is literally my job.
06:00Oh, yeah?
06:01And what job is that?
06:02I own a traveling petting zoo.
06:03And in my expert opinion...
06:05Oh, expert?
06:06Really?
06:06Is there a petting zoo college somewhere?
06:08Mm-hmm.
06:08It's called Nature.
06:10I'm sorry.
06:11Do you seriously not see how sad your dog is?
06:13Thank you, random zookeeper person.
06:15But I...
06:15What's coming out of your bag?
06:18Oh, my God.
06:20Oh, my God.
06:20They're crawling on my leg.
06:21I'm so gross.
06:23What the hell is going on?
06:24It's so wild.
06:27Got it.
06:29Fleas, just as I suspected.
06:31Fleas!
06:31What the?
06:32That's it.
06:33I'm out of here.
06:33Sorry.
06:34Fleas are a public health hazard, and as much as I hate to say this, which is a lot, until
06:39we can prove we're not carrying them out, no one can leave.
06:41Oh, my God.
06:41I am torching this place on Yelp.
06:46The gossip about Mark and I had finally died down, and now everybody is talking about me again.
06:52People are awful.
06:53So nosy.
06:54No boundaries at all.
06:54Thank you.
06:55Thank you.
06:55What did happen?
06:56Was it really just a kiss?
06:58I bet Dr. Fussy Pants has a real tiger under that suit.
07:04Well, I hope you're me.
07:16This feels excessive.
07:17No, of course we saw the shower with dishwashing soap was excessive.
07:21Again, dishwashing soap kills fleas, as does putting your clothes in the dryer.
07:25It'll be done soon.
07:26How soon?
07:27Today's the deadline to turn in my audition for Juilliard.
07:30Al is recording it later.
07:31So I really need to move this along.
07:32Audition, huh?
07:33What monologue are you doing?
07:35I'm a thespian myself.
07:37That's right.
07:38Yeah.
07:38You were so great as the mad scientist in the blood factory.
07:41Oh, stop.
07:41Stop.
07:42I'm still working on my monologue.
07:45Well, break a leg, as we actors say.
07:48I put the clothes in the dryer 37 minutes ago.
07:50Feel free to check if they're done.
07:52Answer the phones.
07:53Show up on time.
07:54Now I have to vacuum and do laundry.
07:57When did I become act one Cinderella?
07:58If I wrote a letter to Juilliard, do you think it could start tomorrow?
08:01All right.
08:07I can't even have a personal moment with someone without the whole town blabbing about it.
08:11I know.
08:11I'm so sorry about Greg.
08:13He really should have known better.
08:14So I'm just gonna stay in here and avoid people like that.
08:16Oh my gosh.
08:17These little planes are like crazy.
08:18Would you like a spoon?
08:19No, thanks.
08:20I just don't know how everybody knows already.
08:23That is my question.
08:24Well, maybe Martin told someone.
08:26Doesn't seem like the bragging type.
08:28It definitely wasn't something to brag about.
08:30Really? Why?
08:32Never mind.
08:33I don't know why I would be interested.
08:35I just don't know how Elf.
08:37Everyone knows so fast.
08:39You know?
08:41I guess I should call him.
08:43Can I have a...
08:45Oh, oh, yeah.
08:45Yeah, yeah.
08:46Of course, of course.
08:47And you sure you don't want me to get you a spoon?
08:51Okay.
08:52Hello?
08:52Did you tell someone about what happened between us?
08:55Because everybody at the Salty Breeze knows.
08:57Of course not.
08:58I would never.
08:59It was Mark.
09:00Apparently he saw us.
09:02Mark saw us?
09:04Mm-hmm.
09:05Oh, God.
09:06Oh, God.
09:06Uh, this is a disaster.
09:08Mark saw us and everybody's talking.
09:12So much for pretending it never happened, huh?
09:15Yes.
09:17So, about that.
09:19Oh, God.
09:20Shh.
09:21What are you doing here?
09:22I'm sorry.
09:23Where are you right now?
09:24Hiding in the walk-in.
09:26So, you know, I'm super happy about how this is working out.
09:29Well, uh, a hippie infested my office with fleas.
09:33Okay.
09:36Stay warm in there.
09:37Yeah.
09:38Um, good luck with the fleas.
09:40Oh.
09:41Uh, Mark.
09:46How much longer do you have to go?
09:49All right.
09:49Everyone, please get on your clothes and then leave as soon as humanly possible.
09:53I'm having a strange feeling.
09:54I've had this conversation before.
09:57Oh, are you like a psychic?
09:58Deja vu can be a sign of-
10:00Oh, my God.
10:01Oh, my God.
10:01Oh, my God.
10:02Oh, my God.
10:02Oh, my God.
10:02Oh, my God.
10:02Oh, my God.
10:07Don't, guys.
10:08Everybody stay put.
10:16Is he texting?
10:18Is he texting something when he was a dog?
10:19No one can leave.
10:21Why?
10:21What's the problem this time?
10:23Don't panic.
10:24But this woman has lesions that look like buboes.
10:26It's LaBoBo, Boomer.
10:28What the hell's a bubo?
10:29Doc, she has the plague?
10:31Oh, go away.
10:33Hey, hee!
10:36¡Gracias!
11:05¡Gracias!
11:35Doc, what are you doing?
11:36Looking for clues as to where Savannah and her flea-ridden purse have been.
11:45Damn it.
11:46What?
11:47She was at the salty breeze, which means people over there have been exposed and I need to get in
11:51touch with them.
11:52We don't have to change back into the little gowns, do we?
11:54Because if I'm going to die of the plague...
11:56You're not.
11:56I'm dying with my pants on.
11:58And I've always said that.
12:01Hey, guys.
12:02What do you want to talk to me about?
12:04Well...
12:05Wait a minute.
12:06What's going on back here?
12:08Doug claims he found a baby fox and is nursing it back to health.
12:11I wish you'd take it somewhere else.
12:13It's making Brisket very anxious.
12:15I get that.
12:16It's kind of a rabbit-eared devil chihuahua.
12:20Makes me a little nervous, too.
12:24Listen, Sarah, we have a small confession to make.
12:28You cheat at poker night.
12:29You think I don't know.
12:31Oh, but not that.
12:32We're the ones showing your house.
12:34What?
12:34Your brother saw that Greg is a realtor in the area and asked us to convince you to accept
12:40his offer since we're friends.
12:43Oh, some friends you are.
12:45Did he tell you what the terms of his offer is?
12:48Sell a house out from under me and I get 20%.
12:51Thank you so much, your lordship.
12:53We thought at least if it was us, we'd look after your best interest.
12:56Yes.
12:57By kicking me out of my own house.
12:59Listen, I hate to bring it up, but your brother says you don't have much by way of retirement
13:04savings.
13:05Yeah.
13:06Well, you know how it is.
13:08Lobstering.
13:08You have a good year and then a bad one.
13:11So, maybe you should let us show the house.
13:13There's a couple who wants to see it today.
13:15Fine.
13:16Fine.
13:17Fine.
13:18So, any intel on what happened between Louisa and your nephew?
13:23Yeah.
13:24She's hiding in the walk-in right now.
13:27Very upset.
13:28You are not getting the hot goss.
13:30You two are off the hot goss list.
13:33Why me?
13:34You can't do that.
13:35I should be able to stay on.
13:38Hello?
13:39And Sarah, listen.
13:40There could be a crisis at the salty breeze.
13:42Oh, you bet there is.
13:44Louisa is hiding in the walk-in refrigerator.
13:48When are you going to apologize to her?
13:49Never mind that.
13:50A patient here, a woman named Savannah.
13:52She was recently at the salty breeze,
13:54and she's exhibiting plague-like symptoms.
13:56The plague?
13:57Like, bring out your dead?
13:59That plague?
14:00I'm all the way down.
14:01It's fine.
14:02Bubonic, yes, the very one.
14:04Wait, what's that behind you?
14:07Oh, Doug's got a baby fox.
14:11Don't ask.
14:12Hold the phone closer to it?
14:13Sure.
14:14Greg, stay here, please.
14:19Look at those ears.
14:20That's a North African fennec fox.
14:23Doug, where did you get one of those?
14:25Funny story.
14:29Whoa!
14:30Whoa!
14:31Huh?
14:31Oh, wow.
14:32What's wrong with him?
14:33For starters, his face is in a bowl of oatmeal.
14:35Now pull him out and make sure he's breathing.
14:37All right.
14:38Okay.
14:39Whoa.
14:41Hold the phone closer.
14:42Let me see his neck.
14:44Oh, good Lord.
14:45What are those?
14:46Do you promise to remain calm?
14:48Wait.
14:51This is the plague.
14:54I didn't even want to eat here today.
14:56Uh, excuse me.
14:57Everyone listen up.
14:58What do we do?
14:58A biohazard team is coming.
15:01Until you have all been tested and the plague has been ruled out, no one should leave the salty breeze.
15:04Understood?
15:05But we can still take walk-ins, right?
15:17What are you doing here?
15:21Bringing people something to eat because I knew you wouldn't think about that because you don't think about people or
15:25their feelings.
15:28Mark, Mark, we haven't had a chance to fumigate since you left.
15:32Just some vacuuming.
15:33So congratulations, you've now potentially exposed yourself to plague-carrying fleas.
15:38It's probably fine.
15:39Well, now you can't leave until you've been cleared by the health authorities.
15:41Good.
15:45Mark, would you like to talk?
15:47No.
15:51Yes, I would like to talk.
15:57Is there anything you'd like to say to me that actually makes sense?
16:00Nope.
16:01I got nothing to say to you, man.
16:02Okay, fine.
16:03Then you can go back out.
16:11Okay, I actually do have a couple questions.
16:15Well, this should be fun.
16:17How long has it been going on between you and Louisa?
16:20Have you been dating all this time and just laughing at me behind my back?
16:24Are you two going to get married and have little doctor and school teacher babies?
16:28Are you hoping that I die so you guys can just dance on my grave?
16:32Mark, Mark.
16:32I assure you, Louisa and I were not and are not together.
16:35So if we're done here, I have a plague outbreak to deal with.
16:39Yeah, but you didn't say that you won't be together, okay?
16:41Because I can just see through that little game of yours.
16:43You are not going to seek the future past Sheriff Mark Mila.
16:50The plague?
16:51I go into the walk-in for an hour and come out to the literal plague?
16:55Yeah, it makes you think, doesn't it, about our mortality?
16:59It makes me think about getting our affairs in order, updating our wills, double-checking the DNR.
17:04Boring.
17:05Right.
17:06Who wants a shot on the house?
17:08Oh, sure. First sign of a crisis and everyone drinks for free.
17:13Well, if we're going to die, let's die at a party.
17:16This is my kind of plague.
17:18Free booze with my special lady.
17:21Oh, that's what I'm talking about.
17:23Let's toast a living life to the fullest.
17:25To no regrets?
17:26To do not resuscitate.
17:28Oh, stop.
17:28The plague? Are you serious?
17:31It's a possibility, but we caught it early and we're treating it with antibiotics, so you should be okay.
17:36Wow. You know, I had my cards read recently, and the reader said that something bad or not so bad
17:40could or could not happen.
17:42And now look at this. It's crazy, right?
17:44Hey, you better not be interrogating someone, because I'm the one who does the interrogating.
17:47Who are you?
17:48We'll ask the questions here.
17:50Go ahead. Ask your questions.
17:52Doug, over at the Salty Breeze, has been exhibiting similar symptoms. Have you had any recent interactions with him?
17:58Doug? Doug. Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug, Doug. No, that name does not ring a bell.
18:05I don't believe you. I don't believe anyone anymore.
18:08You know, stop trusting and you start resting. Think about it.
18:11Have you been abroad lately?
18:13You know what? Actually, I did go to Morocco recently for a yoga retreat. Namaste.
18:17And that's where you got the fennec fox?
18:19What's a fennec fox?
18:22And anyway, it's probably just like a regular fox, but with bigger ears.
18:25You just said you didn't know what a fennec fox was, so how would you know that fennec foxes have
18:29big ears if you don't know what a fennec fox is?
18:32Don't you lie to me, Savannah!
18:33Okay.
18:34Pop, thank you for your help, Mark. I'll take it from here.
18:37Okay.
18:37Hey, I think I rattled her cage pretty good. She's gonna crack soon, all right?
18:41Hey!
18:43But I'm still mad at him.
18:44Okay, thank you.
18:45I'm still mad at him.
18:46Okay, I got it. Thanks, Mark. I got it.
18:48Wow!
18:50There's some roiling tension between you two. What's going on there?
18:53Just admit you smuggled the fennec fox and sold it to Doug so I don't have to bring back the
18:57emotionally unstable sheriff, okay?
19:00Fine! But if you think you can make a living charging five-year-olds to ride ponies, think again.
19:05I don't think that. I don't know why anyone would think that, but the fox you trafficked...
19:09Ah!
19:09Mm-mm.
19:10I call it exotic animal re-homing.
19:12Whatever!
19:12It likely has plague-carrying fleas that multiplied and migrated to the other animals in your zoo and then spread
19:18to you and not a duck.
19:19Look, I'm not a monster, okay? I'm just trying to find loving homes for these animals.
19:24They carry stress in their bodies just like we do.
19:26You really feel like you're holding on to a lot of stress too, my dude.
19:30And the only way to let go of stress is to open up.
19:33Well, I wouldn't open up too much unless you have a lawyer present.
19:36Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to let the town know about the mess you've made.
19:41Elaine, we need to make a PSA.
19:42A what?
19:43A public cert...
19:45A video telling the community what's going on, okay?
19:48We'll post it to your social media.
19:50Oh, now you like my social media?
19:52Elaine, please.
19:58I regret never making time to visit my sister in Florida.
20:02You called your sister and I quote,
20:05a joyless iguana with a Chardonnay problem.
20:09I also regret trusting George to keep our conversations private.
20:14What about you, Louisa?
20:16Is there anything or anyone you'd be sad to miss out on?
20:24Really, really?
20:26With everything that's going on, this is what you're focused on?
20:31Our school is closing, which is a huge blow to Port-Win, not to mention my career.
20:37I mean, I have no idea what's happening in my life next.
20:39Oh, oh, and we might all have a disease that killed half of medieval Europe, so, you know,
20:44sure, we can just discuss my weird kiss with the town doctor.
20:50When you say weird...
20:53Yeah, I was thinking of it.
20:53Oh, my clarity, though.
20:55Ah!
20:57Port-Win is a fishbowl and I'm tired of being a goldfish.
21:01Are we recording?
21:02Yes.
21:03Why are you looking at the...
21:04Okay, ready?
21:05A, go.
21:08Hello.
21:10Dr. Martin Best here in Port-Win, where we appear to be having an outbreak of bubonic plague.
21:19Now, there's no cause for panic, but if you're experiencing flu-like symptoms, along with
21:24painful swelling in your neck, armpits, or groin area, or unusual lesions or sores, please
21:30come see me or another health care provider immediately.
21:32Just because I'm stuck at the doctor's office don't get any ideas about committing any crimes.
21:38Please share this post widely, Eleniacs.
21:40You could save a life.
21:42She's saying give me a follow as if she isn't talking to, like, 12 people.
21:45Eleniacs?
21:46She's worse than the plague.
21:47Let those three die.
21:48Yeah, question.
21:50Shouldn't we consider other disease vectors like dirt?
21:54I hate the internet.
21:56Elaine!
21:57Hey!
21:58No, don't.
21:59Stay there.
22:00The plague?
22:01Hey.
22:01Are you okay?
22:02Yeah.
22:03I don't know.
22:03This is weird, but I'm fine.
22:05I, um, I brought you lunch.
22:07Thank you.
22:08Uh-huh.
22:09Mark brought sandwiches, too.
22:10I'll take it.
22:11His were very dry.
22:12Hey, listen.
22:13So I speed-read this acting book, and it said, track the emotional beats of a monologue.
22:18So I got your monologue, and I started tracking the emotional beats of it.
22:20Actually, actually, I, uh, I, I don't think I'm going to get to it.
22:23What?
22:23You have to.
22:24I, I looked at it, and there's no extension.
22:26Well, you have to do it today.
22:26Al, look around.
22:29I'm in a crisis.
22:29I can't.
22:30I was thinking we could, we could shoot through the window.
22:31Al, seriously?
22:32Just let it go, okay?
22:33No!
22:34Look, this is all you talk about.
22:36Wanting to go to school in New York City, okay?
22:38Let me help.
22:39I don't want your help, okay?
22:40If you like the idea of school in New York so much, you can go.
22:47Fine.
22:48Bye.
22:48Bye!
22:49Leave the lunch!
22:53Are you guys fighting?
22:54Thank you.
22:59Cheers.
23:01Poor woman in a plague house.
23:02You're looking awfully pleased with yourself.
23:04I'm feeling very at peace with my life.
23:07Plus, you're stuck here with me, so you can't show my house.
23:11No such luck.
23:12You have someone showing it for us.
23:15Who?
23:16Old man Collins.
23:17Damn it all.
23:19Doug!
23:20You good?
23:22Whoa.
23:24I was really out of it.
23:25Doug, I've got something really important to tell you, and it might be scary.
23:30I'm not gonna be a dad, am I?
23:32What?
23:33Oh, I don't know.
23:34You might have the plague.
23:35The bubonic plague?
23:36Mm-hmm.
23:37How did I get that?
23:38Doc said it must be some animals owned by some woman named Savannah.
23:41Oh, no.
23:43Savannah's got the plague.
23:44Where is she?
23:45Doc Martin's office.
23:46Why?
23:47She needs me.
23:49Doug!
23:50Stop!
23:50We're not supposed to leave.
23:51Hi, Jeb.
23:52Jeb?
23:53Hello?
23:54Jeb, it's Sarah.
23:56I can't talk now.
23:57I'm showing a house for Ken.
24:00You mean Greg?
24:00Yeah, Greg.
24:01Listen, could you do me a favor?
24:04Where is she?
24:06Where's Savannah?
24:07Whoa, whoa, whoa.
24:07Slow your roll, Chief.
24:08Doug, what are you doing?
24:09You shouldn't be running around town with a plague-infested creature.
24:12Don't you call my Savannah that.
24:14I'm talking about...
24:15Wait.
24:16You're Savannah?
24:18Have you and Savannah been intimate?
24:20That's a clinical way to put it.
24:22That's Doc.
24:23Clinical.
24:23No heart.
24:24Clock it, Marky.
24:25Period.
24:26Go on.
24:27I met her on a website for enthusiasts of unusual pets,
24:30but I only took a few encrypted texts for me to realize that she's my soulmate.
24:35That's what you said about my wife!
24:37Oh, hey, Gil.
24:38Good to see you, man.
24:39So the answer is yes.
24:41You two have been intimate.
24:42Come with me.
24:47Savannah, my love.
24:49Let's not go crazy.
24:51Are most of your painful lesions in your groin area?
24:53Oh, yeah.
24:54Do you want to say...
24:54Worth it.
24:55No, no, no, nope.
24:56I take your word for it.
24:57Okay.
24:58Now, you might actually have a sexually transmitted infection called LGV,
25:03which has similar symptoms to the plague.
25:05Must have been that guy from Bonnaroo.
25:07Luckily, it, too, can be treated with a course of antibiotics.
25:10Sorry, Doug.
25:11What?
25:16Doug, your last girlfriend gave you breasts.
25:18This one gave you a disease similar to the plague.
25:20As your physician, I feel compelled to say, make better dating choices.
25:25I gotta say, the vibe at the Salty Breeze was way better.
25:28Elaine, we need to make another post.
25:29On it.
25:32Hello, everyone.
25:33This is Port Wynn Public Safety Officer Elaine with an important update.
25:39Hi, everyone.
25:40Dr. Best here.
25:41So, the situation is evolving,
25:44and we're still waiting for the biohazard team to arrive to confirm,
25:48but at the moment,
25:48my assessment is we are not having a plague outbreak in Port Wynn.
25:52Thank you.
25:52But still don't commit any crimes.
25:56Doc, have you ever thought about being a hair model?
25:58Because the camera actually loves your hair.
26:00What?
26:01Loves it.
26:02Really?
26:02Hey, if it's not the plague, what do you think it is?
26:04I can't say.
26:07Confidentiality.
26:07There can't be that many diseases that have plague-like symptoms.
26:12Yikes.
26:13That looks uncomfortable.
26:25So, good news.
26:27Martin just posted another video saying that it looks like there's no plague outbreak after all,
26:30so all we have to do is just hang out here for a little bit longer,
26:33get tested just to be sure.
26:35That's great.
26:36You seem less than thrilled.
26:41I just feel disappointed about where my life is right now.
26:46Well, this may be controversial given the day that we've had,
26:49but when I'm feeling low, do you know what makes me feel better?
26:54Besides umbrellas and drinks.
26:56Okay, then I give up.
26:58Watching animal videos.
27:00Huh?
27:01Mm-hmm.
27:01Not what I was expecting.
27:03Hey, hey, hey.
27:03Otters holding paws while they float on their backs.
27:06Pudgy marmots doing goofy marmot things in the Alpine meadows.
27:09My favorite is this wolf den in Acadia.
27:12I defy you not to be transported.
27:16This is a twist.
27:17Should we watch one?
27:18I mean, after that, how could we not?
27:19You know I got it cued up already.
27:21I'm serious.
27:22Okay, here we go.
27:35Okay, that is Wolf Blitzer.
27:36We love him.
27:37And this one.
27:39Oh.
27:41No, is this a bad choice?
27:43No, no, no.
27:43Perfect.
27:45Okay.
27:45All right, well.
27:47Let's watch this the right way.
27:49Okay.
27:50Okay, so I said, that's Wolf Blitzer.
27:52Wolf Blitzer.
27:53And we don't like that one.
27:54Okay.
27:54But we love Wolf Blitzer.
27:55We love Wolf Blitzer.
28:07Sorry to intrude, but I'm sensing some inner tension.
28:09Whoa, you really are psychic.
28:11People do say that.
28:13But really, we're all just animals who think we're better at hiding our own stress than we actually
28:46I've barely worked on my audition.
28:47Do you mind?
28:48Do you mind?
28:49Then I would have to leave Al behind.
28:51Is Al your boyfriend?
28:54You know, we have this idea that life has to be either or.
28:58But we can only have one good thing.
29:00But what if the universe is like, no, you can have all the good things.
29:05So I could have Al and Juilliard?
29:06Yeah.
29:07Or in my case, beat this crazy STD in the federal wildlife animal charges that I'm facing.
29:11Yeah, no fingers crossed for the both of us.
29:16I saw your video.
29:17Hey, no offense, buddy, but you're not looking too good right now.
29:20Um, Doc?
29:23Lennon, you shouldn't be here.
29:25Oh, I'm growing nipples on my neck.
29:28Okay, maybe you should.
29:29Have you had intimate contact with this woman, Doug, or both?
29:33Are you suggesting I had some kind of woo-woo three-way with those weirdos?
29:37Hell no.
29:38Rules out the STD.
29:40I got it.
29:42Well, have you visited the petting zoo, maybe?
29:44I mean, uh, I don't think so.
29:47This isn't a hard question.
29:48I might have taken my son.
29:50Isn't Glendon Jr. like 17?
29:52Fine.
29:53I went alone.
29:53Okay.
29:55I like petting the goats.
29:56Soothing.
29:58Exposure.
29:59Bubos.
30:01We might be looking at a plague outbreak after all.
30:04Yeah, I concur.
30:05Um, hey, Doc, bad news.
30:07Biohazard team got in a fender bender and said they're going to be delayed by a couple of hours.
30:10What?
30:10Okay, didn't you say the longer it takes those guys to get there, the more dangerous it gets?
30:13Great, now I have to text my mom back and tell her I am going to die.
30:16Thanks a lot.
30:16Nobody is going to die.
30:18Hey, we just need to stay calm and in control of the situation.
30:22Is that clear?
30:23Um, has anyone seen the fox?
30:25What?
30:27My mom was right.
30:28I lack the emotional maturity to own a pet.
30:30You need to find that fox.
30:32You're going to be fine.
30:33But if you need to pet a baby goat...
30:35Oh, shut up.
30:36Doc, we got more incoming.
30:38I'm not feeling so hot.
30:40I'm like, is this the plague?
30:41My daughter's like, go find out, dummy.
30:44Yeah, I just feel like ass.
30:47You know, like a general all-over assiness.
30:51Mark, text your mom at the pharmacy.
30:52Tell her we need more antibiotics, rapid flu tests, and any IV bags she may have on hand.
30:56Have her leave them out front and then go run down and get them.
30:58Got it?
30:58All right, no problem.
30:59Elaine, we need to update the public.
31:03Excuse me.
31:04Dr. Best here.
31:06Small update on the previous update.
31:08But not...
31:10Yes.
31:11To reiterate, please disregard my previous post.
31:14We are having an outbreak of plague here in Portland.
31:18Also, Al, if you're watching, I am sorry that I was so crabby.
31:22That was not about you.
31:23I do want to go for it, and I really need your help.
31:25Okay, bye.
31:26First we're going to die, then we're not going to die.
31:28Now we're back to dying.
31:30Make up your mind already, will you, Doc?
31:32Boo!
31:33That guy sucks.
31:34We're all symptom-free for now, so I think we should just...
31:37What?
31:39Stay calm.
31:40I'm calm.
31:41I'm calm!
31:44What is...
31:45It's Greg's real estate phone.
31:47Hi, Greg Garrison Realty.
31:49This is Greg speaking.
31:50How may I help you find the home of your dreams?
31:54I see.
31:55Well, that is...
31:58Okay.
31:59Well, thank you very much.
32:01Who was that?
32:02The buyer is looking at Sarah's house.
32:04Jeb Collins told him the house was full of fleas with plague.
32:08I wonder why he would do that.
32:11Beats me.
32:15Oh, fine.
32:17I paid him off to badmouth it.
32:19Excuse me.
32:20If I'm going to die of the plague, I want to do it in my own house.
32:23Nobody's pushing me out.
32:24Well, except possibly death.
32:26But point taken.
32:28You know what I think we could all use right now?
32:31Wolfden video.
32:32Oh.
32:33Yes.
32:34Fire it up.
32:34Yes.
32:35Okay.
32:36Did you get the antibiotics?
32:38Yeah, I got you.
32:38Sorry, y'all.
32:40All right.
32:43Okay, everybody, listen up.
32:45We're having a lot of people come in right now not feeling well.
32:48Now, most of you probably just have the flu, but some of you might have the plague.
32:52So here's what we're going to do.
32:54Who here is having fever, aches, and fatigue?
32:57Okay.
32:57Now, you're going to take rapid flu tests out here in the waiting room.
33:00Now, who has swollen lymph nodes under your chin, possibly in your armpit or groin?
33:04Okay, if you have any of those, you're going to come into the exam room.
33:07We're going to give you antibiotics right away.
33:09Now, you are not contagious, and we will take care of you.
33:11I'm just here for nighttime gas.
33:13Noted.
33:14Let's go.
33:19Ow, what are you doing here?
33:20Do you have plague symptoms?
33:21I don't care about the plague.
33:23Famous last words.
33:24I came back.
33:24Thank you.
33:25I'm so sorry.
33:26Honestly, I was just afraid of my own awesomeness.
33:29I forgive you, but we have to move fast.
33:31We only have a couple hours until the deadline.
33:32All right?
33:33Did you memorize your speech?
33:34Yeah, I'm off book.
33:35Sick.
33:35I have no idea what that means.
33:37Okay.
33:38Who wants to be in a movie or a very low-budget audition video?
33:43I might be available.
33:45You're not thinking of doing this in here, are you?
33:51Why not?
33:53I'll go deal with the plague while you put on your little show.
33:59Hi, I'm Elaine Denton, and I will be performing Olga's monologue from Anton Chekhov's Three
34:05Sisters, which is a play that I have read.
34:17It almost seems as if a minute more, and we'll know why we live and why we suffer.
34:28If only we knew.
34:30If only we knew.
34:33What difference does it make?
34:36What difference does it make?
34:40If only we knew.
34:44And cut.
34:48Elaine, you're so good.
34:51Should I take my line again?
34:52No.
34:54I think we got it.
34:55Oh, my God.
35:00What's he got?
35:01So cute.
35:03Like kittens.
35:07Look at that one.
35:10Oh.
35:11The mother-child bond, it's so primal, so deep.
35:15I mean, why would a lady wolf ever not want to have that experience?
35:18Guy wolves come and go, but the bond to your wolf baby, that's forever.
35:23I mean, not having a wolf cub.
35:25I mean, she'd probably regret that for the rest of her wolf life.
35:32What?
35:33Are you wanting a wolf cub?
35:36What?
35:37No.
35:37I...
35:38Why would you?
35:39I mean, maybe?
35:41Okay.
35:42I don't know.
35:43I'm going to say something to you, and if I'm overstepping, tell me to buzz off.
35:46Okay.
35:47If you ever decide to have a baby on your own, I will be there for you.
35:54Cooking, babysitting, whatever you need.
35:56We'll all be there for you.
35:59Of course.
36:00All of us.
36:01Oh, yes, honey.
36:03Even when we're nosy and annoying with your friends.
36:08You guys.
36:16That took you a while.
36:18Everyone in this room needs to be tested along with a few people down the street.
36:21Understood.
36:22We've already got team members over there.
36:24We'll get a testing station set up ASAP.
36:26Coming back.
36:27First, I want you to check on my patients with lesions.
36:29Some of the ones out here might have the plague.
36:32Some of them might just have the flu.
36:34But everyone out here needs rapid tests for plague.
36:37Okay.
36:38Okay.
36:40Okay, folks.
36:41I'm headed home as soon as they clear me.
36:44Oh, I gotta go sleep it up.
36:46Sam, my nerves are shot.
36:47You can settle them by helping me prep for tomorrow.
36:49Sweetie, after the day I've had, I'm in bath and a nap there.
36:54Am I crazy to say today was fun?
36:57Yes.
36:58Fun.
36:59First we're dying, then we're not dying, then we're dying, now we're not dying.
37:08Another drink, anybody?
37:10Drinks on the house.
37:11Let me call animal control real quick.
37:13Oh, hey.
37:14Thanks, Doc.
37:15You know, despite being trapped in the paradigm of Western medicine, I would have been in real
37:19trouble if I hadn't come to you.
37:20I think you are in real trouble.
37:22Your fox did give six of our townspeople the plague.
37:25Yeah.
37:25Well, if I may, I think your dog is sad because he doesn't know where he stands with you.
37:31He's like, am I his dog or am I not?
37:35He's not.
37:38I don't believe you.
37:39And neither does your dog.
37:42You know, you should admit that you actually care about whoever it is that you care about.
37:47At least to yourself.
37:50Uh-huh.
37:51Well, you should pursue a therapy degree while you're in jail.
37:55Maybe I will.
37:58Anyway.
38:00Thanks, Doc.
38:02Hey, do you know any lawyers?
38:07Bye, Sheriff.
38:09Bye, Savannah.
38:20It's always like that, huh?
38:21You're not even going to apologize.
38:23Look, Mark, I understand you're upset, but I don't know what I actually did to-
38:26Am I your friend?
38:27Excuse me?
38:28Do you consider me your friend?
38:35Yes.
38:38Okay.
38:40Well, when you're friends with someone and you start having feelings for their ex, you gotta give them a heads
38:45up, Doc.
38:47It's just something that happened.
38:48I know, I know.
38:49Like a one-time heat of the moment type thing, huh?
38:52It meant nothing.
39:01You're not just lying to me, buddy.
39:07You're lying to yourself.
39:12I'll see you later, okay?
39:14Okay.
39:29Thanks for meeting me.
39:30Sure.
39:31I mean, what a day.
39:34In fact, it gave me a lot to think about.
39:37About what?
39:40Um, just...
39:45Oh.
39:50Um, what are the odds of an exotic animal, not even from the continent, showing up in a small town
39:57and causing an outbreak of plague?
39:59Wait, wait, what?
40:00Low.
40:01Oh.
40:01Very low.
40:03Vanishingly low.
40:06And there are lots of things about life that I might not understand as well as I thought.
40:14I don't know why I sometimes say obnoxious things.
40:18Martin, you don't.
40:20Please.
40:22You know, another surprising thing about life is that...
40:28Sometimes other things with incredibly low odds can also happen.
40:35Nice things.
40:37Things between two people.
40:41And I think this town is too small for us to date, even if it were a good idea, which
40:58I don't think that it is.
41:00Oh.
41:00You're a great guy.
41:02Oh, no.
41:02You don't need to explain anything to me.
41:04No, I just, um, and we have this crazy push and pull, which is exciting and also frustrating.
41:09And, uh, I just don't think I have a bunch of time for a lot of drama right now because
41:15I want to have a baby.
41:21Oh, God, not with you.
41:22Oh.
41:24Not what I was saying.
41:26Just, uh, just, uh, a baby.
41:29Hmm.
41:30Hmm.
41:40I wish you luck with that.
41:42I do.
41:45Oh.
41:47Have a good night.
41:48Okay.
41:49When nobody knows
41:52the kind of fool
41:54I was
41:56before
41:57Stepping out on my own
42:01Bringing nothing along
42:04Just turn off the lights
42:08Before
42:09I go
42:11When nobody knows
42:15When nobody knows
42:30Take a print a kiss
42:32Let's go for a walk
42:34The way that I always let
42:38You down
42:41Cause nobody knows
42:51I know
42:52I've been the light to hold
42:55I learned that lesson long ago
42:58When one door opens
43:00Another's gotta close
43:05I'll go as far as I can see
43:09To make some better memories
43:12To get to where you go
43:15You gotta leave
43:18I'm
43:23You gotta go
43:26I
43:27I
43:27You
43:28You
43:29I
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