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sam pang tonight s02e04
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00:18Thank you, contagious. Oh my god, oh wow, can I just, by the way, if there's a pandemic
00:28early next year, maybe remember this moment. Alright, I think we've had enough. Get out
00:32of here, George. Can you help me out, Sean? There you go. Wow. There you go, contagious
00:37George, everyone. Big show coming up, Sean McHale sticking around, and Michael Weatherly
00:43from NTIS is up next.
01:24Thank you, Sean. I want to say, by the way, I am, you know, I'm just purely, you know,
01:28really honoured that you're here tonight, for many reasons. One is, you hosted a Tonight
01:32Show on Channel 9 in 2003. It was a long time ago, Sean. Yeah, absolutely. And here you
01:37are there just for some, wow, you were an old-looking young man, weren't you? Mate, favourite guest?
01:44Keith Urban, look, Keith Urban's there. Oh, look, is that Shane Ward? Hello, Shane. All my
01:48old friends. Who's that? Don't know who that is. What was it like? Favourite guest? Favourite
01:55guest. Oh, well, you know, they're all wonderful, warm human beings. But in all sincerity, probably
02:01Barry Humphries, because he was a bit of a hero of mine, and I did get to meet him for
02:04the first time. Barry Humphries. And he was the reason that I got into comedy. He was the
02:11force behind my decision to become a comedian. So it was really nice to be able to have him
02:15on the show, meet him, have a chat to him. Yeah.
02:21How do you think it went? Well, it was very interesting, because I was, during the interview,
02:26like I said, I'll pretend I'm, like, interviewing you, all right? Yeah. So I'm talking to him
02:31and he's answering my question. And all I'm doing is just looking at him going, wow, Barry
02:35Humphries, I can't believe I'm actually, and I wasn't listening to his answer. And then
02:40at the end of the question, at the end of his answer, he asked me a question, and then
02:44I just was completely befuddled as to what was going on. So. Is it a bit like what's
02:48happening now? Bit of a, yeah. When you have your real guest out here, when you have Michael
02:52Weatherly come out here, listen to what he's saying. Okay. You know what? Yeah, get back
02:56over there. That's fine. Sean, I wanted to also, by the way, I wanted to ask you, because
03:00you are responsible for Sincerely, one of my favourite ever moments on Australian television.
03:05Talk me through what happened in the very first episode with Danny Minogue as your,
03:10as your guest. Oh, yes. Tell us what happened. She was on the first show. We thought it'd
03:14be funny because she's singing a song for us. We thought it'd be funny during her song to
03:18do a cutaway of me watching Andrew Denton, who was then doing a similar show on the ABC.
03:25So rather than watch her, we thought it'd be postmodern for me to be watching Andrew Denton.
03:30Now, I saw this and thought it was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Thank you,
03:32Sam. How did the network you're on, Channel 9, how did they enjoy it? Less enthusiastic
03:37and knew about it. Because they worked out, they looked at the ratings the next week and
03:41they said, you know, at the point where you were watching Andrew Denton, we lost 30,000
03:45viewers. So they said, don't ever do that again. All right. So we weren't allowed to do that
03:50again. Well, by the way, we actually have footage of the moment. This is Sean McAuliffe
03:53on his Tonight Show watching Andrew Denton on another show at the same time. Yeah. This
03:59is like Inception, by the way. That was a hard cut, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well,
04:05so anyway, look, again, another bit of advice. Don't watch another television program while
04:09you're doing your own. Just concentrate on what you're doing. Okay, then. I'll do my best.
04:13We actually did contact Annie Minogue to hear her version of events. And she said she was
04:17too busy watching My Kitchen Rules. And that she'd never even heard of the Steve Pang show.
04:23So there you go, Sean. Now, you know, we've got Michael Weatherly from NCIS up next. Wonderful
04:29actor as well. That's pretty good, isn't he?
04:36Now, he'll be sitting here right after the break. But as always, I like to catch up with
04:40my guests before the show. And we've actually got some footage of the moment we met.
04:46Come in. Hey, Michael. Hey, Sam. Bit of an issue. Nothing to worry about.
04:51I need you to help me dispose of something. Why would you want me to help?
04:55You've been on NCIS for like six seasons. I did 13 seasons.
05:00Whatever. So surely you've learned something. I'm an actor, Sam. It was a TV show and I
05:05played a cop. Yeah. So you should know how to get rid of, uh...
05:10Not helping you get rid of a body. Fine. Whatever. Hey, maybe don't mention this out
05:16on the show, okay? Okay. Or you'll be next. I'm sorry. Nothing late. All good. See you out
05:22there.
05:25I miss you.
05:59Welcome back.
06:01Now, my first guest spent 13 seasons on NCIS as Special Agent Tony DiNozzo.
06:12And he's now starring in his own spin-off series,
06:15where it's just gone with the first name, which is good.
06:17Tony and Ziva, here he is in action.
06:20You sure I can't help you?
06:2113 seasons on NCIS.
06:24Who are you?
06:24Michael Weatherly.
06:25I love you.
06:26Breeze, don't beg!
06:27How does it feel to know that you were the one who got played?
06:29Are we here to celebrate a great man or what?
06:32Absolutely.
06:33He's still got it.
06:34Please welcome Michael Weatherly!
06:51I want to thank you.
06:53Oh, sorry.
06:55Oh, hang on.
06:56Thank you, Stephanie.
06:59Oh.
07:00Oh, Sam.
07:01Michael.
07:05It's just wonderful to see you.
07:06It is wonderful to be seen.
07:08I'm going to get straight into it, by the way.
07:10You know, just in case people don't know, you've worked with Liam Neeson, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Garner, Bob Newhart, Lily
07:15Tomlin, Jamie Lee Curtis, and...
07:16Oh, God.
07:18This is going to get intense.
07:21Make yourself at home.
07:24Listen, that's a big list of names.
07:26And, of course, acted with me.
07:29Oh, God.
07:33One word to describe my performance?
07:35Um, very rarely have I needed a defibrillator after, after, um, and, um, yeah, you, you could put someone into
07:49a coma.
07:51I'm not saying it was boring or flavorless, but it had nothing.
07:58It had no, you know, sometimes people will say, oh, it's very grounded, the performance, or maybe it was too
08:03much.
08:03Yours had nothing.
08:11But you're a lovely human being.
08:14Let's go with this.
08:15You have had a, uh, a very long television career, a wonderfully successful television career.
08:20But let's go back to where it all started, 1991, and a Snickers ad, I believe?
08:25Yes.
08:26So, uh...
08:28So when you're a young, uh, actor running around New York, uh, you have these auditions,
08:33and you don't quite know what they are.
08:34You just know, 9 a.m., Reed Melsky, 928 Broadway.
08:37So I knew, I knew I had to be there.
08:39But the night before, I got a wink from a bartender.
08:43And, um, she, she asked me to, if I would be still around.
08:48Now, the bars don't close till 3.30, 4 o'clock.
08:50So I, you know, I had to sort of see what would happen, roll the dice.
08:54So I, I got home around 6 a.m.
08:57And fell asleep outside my door.
08:59And as my roommate was leaving to go to work, he had to push my body out of the way.
09:04And, uh, that's when I realized that I was going to be late to the audition.
09:07I ran down the street, came into the room, and they were just closing up.
09:12And there was a case of, um, mystery items inside it.
09:17And they said, just take one and, uh, and take a bite.
09:21And I'd never seen this before, but it was a Snickers ice cream bar.
09:25Now, if you've ever had too much alcohol.
09:29And you, the first thing you get when you wake up, rather than brush your teeth,
09:34is a Snickers ice cream bar.
09:36Needless to say, several mouth orgasms later, I booked it in the room.
09:42And have been eating them ever since, which I'm working on with my trainer.
09:46Uh, but I booked in the room, and then we went to go shoot it.
09:51And I did the opposite before the shoot.
09:53I got to have a lot of rest.
09:54I was very cogent, and, uh, I sucked so badly.
09:58When we were shooting it, we did 86 takes.
10:03And I actually had to go to the hospital, because I had, uh,
10:07there's caffeine in chocolate, and I had an overdose of the caffeine.
10:1286 takes, probably type 2 diabetes by then.
10:14Well, luckily.
10:16Luckily, no one will ever see this commercial.
10:19Well, 86 takes.
10:21Yeah.
10:21And you say, no one will see this commercial.
10:22Let's see what, let's see, let's see what.
10:27YouTube, damn it.
10:28Let's see what took 86 takes.
10:31Snickers ice cream bar.
10:33Everything you'd expect a Snickers ice cream bar to be.
10:36You've got to taste it to believe it.
10:43Welcome back.
10:45You're watching Sam Payne Tonight.
10:49Thank you, Sean.
10:50I want to say, by the way, I am, you know, just purely honoured that you're here tonight.
10:54Um, for many reasons.
10:55One is, but you hosted a Tonight Show on Channel 9 in 2003.
11:00It was a long time ago, Sam.
11:01Yeah, absolutely.
11:02And here you are there just for some, um...
11:04Wow, you were an old-looking young man, weren't you?
11:08Mate, favourite guest?
11:09Keith Urban.
11:10Look, Keith Urban's there.
11:10Oh, look, is that Shane Warne?
11:12Oh, hello, Shane.
11:12Yep.
11:13All my old friends.
11:15Who's that?
11:15Don't know who that is.
11:16What was...
11:17What was it like?
11:18Favourite guest?
11:19Favourite guest?
11:19Oh, well, you know, they're all wonderful, warm human beings.
11:23Um, but in all sincerity, probably, uh, probably Barry Humphreys,
11:27because he was a bit of a hero of mine, and I did get to meet him for the first
11:29time.
11:30I was enjoying him, Barry Humphreys.
11:31And, um, he was the reason that I got into comedy.
11:35He was the...he was the force behind my decision to become a comedian.
11:38So it was really nice to be able to have him on the show, meet him,
11:41have a chat to him.
11:43Yeah.
11:46How do you think it went?
11:48Um, well, it's very interesting, because I was...
11:50During the interview, like I said, I'll pretend I'm, like, interviewing you,
11:54all right?
11:54Yeah.
11:55So I'm talking to him, and he's answering my question,
11:57and all I'm doing is just looking at him, going,
11:59wow, Barry Humphreys, I can't believe I'm actually...
12:01And I wasn't listening to his answer.
12:04And then at the end of the question, at the end of his answer,
12:07he asked me a question, and then I just was completely befuddled
12:11as to what was going on.
12:12So...
12:12Is it a bit like what's happening now?
12:13Bit of a...
12:14Yeah.
12:15When you have your real guest out here,
12:16when you have Michael Weatherly come out here,
12:18listen to what he's saying.
12:19OK.
12:20You know what?
12:20Yeah, get back over there.
12:21That's fine.
12:22Sean, I wanted to also, by the way, I wanted to ask you,
12:25because you are responsible for, sincerely,
12:27one of my favourite ever moments on Australian television,
12:30talk me through what happened in the very first episode
12:32with Danny Minogue as your guest.
12:35Oh, yes.
12:36Tell us what happened.
12:37She was on the first show.
12:38We thought it would be funny, because she's singing a song for us.
12:41We thought it would be funny, during her song,
12:43to do a cutaway of me watching Andrew Denton,
12:46who was then doing a similar show on the ABC.
12:49So rather than watch her,
12:51we thought it would be post-modern for me
12:53to be watching Andrew Denton.
12:54Now, I saw this and thought it was the funniest thing
12:56I've ever seen in my life.
12:57Thank you, Sam.
12:57How did the network you were on, Channel 9,
13:00how did they enjoy it?
13:01Less enthusiastic than you, I don't think.
13:03Because they worked out, they looked at the ratings the next week
13:05and they said, you know,
13:06at the point where you were watching Andrew Denton,
13:09we lost 30,000 viewers.
13:11So they said, don't ever do that again.
13:13All right.
13:14So we weren't allowed to do that again.
13:15Well, by the way, we actually have footage of the moment.
13:17This is Sean McAuliffe on his Tonight Show
13:19watching Andrew Denton on another show at the same time.
13:23Yeah.
13:24This is like Inception, by the way.
13:25That was a hard cut, wasn't it?
13:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:29Well, so anyway, look, again, another bit of advice,
13:31don't watch another television program while you're doing your own.
13:34Just concentrate on what you're doing.
13:35OK, then.
13:36I'll do my best.
13:37We actually did contact Annie Minogue to hear her version of events
13:40and she said she was too busy watching My Kitchen Rules
13:45and that she'd never even heard of the Steve Pang show.
13:47So there you go, Sean.
13:50Now, you know we've got Michael Weatherly from NCIS up next.
13:53Wonderful actor as well.
13:54Pretty good, isn't it?
14:01Now, he'll be sitting here right after the break,
14:04but as always, I like to catch up with my guests before the show
14:06and we've actually got some footage of the moment we met.
14:11Come in.
14:12Hey, Michael.
14:13Hey, Sam.
14:13Bit of an issue?
14:14Nothing to worry about.
14:16I need you to help me dispose of something.
14:19Why would you want me to help?
14:20You've been on NCIS for like six seasons.
14:23I did 13 seasons.
14:25Whatever.
14:26So surely you've learned something.
14:27I'm an actor, Sam.
14:28It was a TV show and I played a cop.
14:30Yeah.
14:31So you should know how to get rid of...
14:35Not helping you get rid of the bodies.
14:37Fine.
14:38Whatever.
14:38Hey, maybe don't mention this out on the show, okay?
14:41Okay.
14:42Or you'll be next.
14:44I'm sorry.
14:45Nothing late.
14:45All good.
14:46See you out there.
14:49I'm sorry.
14:51I'm sorry.
15:11Welcome back.
15:12Now, my first guest spent 13 seasons on NCIS as special agent Tony DiNozzo.
15:24And he's now starring in his own spin-off series where it's just gone with the first
15:28name, which is good.
15:29Tony and Ziva.
15:30Here he is in action.
15:32You sure I can't help you?
15:3313 seasons on NCIS.
15:35Who are you?
15:36Michael Weatherly.
15:37I love you.
15:37Breeze, don't beg.
15:38How does it feel to know that you were the one who got played?
15:41Are we here to celebrate a great man or what?
15:43Absolutely.
15:44He's still got it.
15:46Please welcome Michael Weatherly.
16:02I want to thank you.
16:04Oh, sorry.
16:05Oh, hang on.
16:07Thank you, Seth.
16:11Oh.
16:12Oh, Sam.
16:13Michael.
16:16It's just wonderful to see you.
16:18It is wonderful to be seen.
16:20I'm going to get straight into it, by the way.
16:21You know, just in case people don't know, you've worked with Liam Neeson, Sandra Bullock,
16:25Jennifer Garner, Bob Newhart, Lily Tomlin, Jamie Lee Curtis, and...
16:29This is going to get intense.
16:31Just, um, make yourself at home.
16:36Listen, that's a big list of names.
16:38And, of course, acted with me.
16:41Oh, God.
16:44One word to describe my performance?
16:47Um, very rarely have I needed a defibrillator after, after, um, and, um, yeah, you, you could
17:00put someone into a coma.
17:03I'm not saying it was boring or flavorless, but it had nothing.
17:09It had no, you know, sometimes people will say, oh, it's very grounded, the performance,
17:13or maybe it was too much.
17:15Yours had nothing.
17:23But you're a lovely human being.
17:25Hey, let's go with this.
17:27You have had a, uh, a very long television career, a wonderfully successful television
17:31career, but let's go back to where it all started, 1991, and a Snickers ad, I believe?
17:37Yes.
17:37So, uh...
17:40So, when you're a young, uh, actor running around New York, uh, you have these auditions,
17:44and you don't quite know what they are.
17:46You just know, 9 a.m., Reed Melsky, 928 Broadway.
17:48So, I knew, I knew I had to be there.
17:50But the night before, I got a wink from a bartender, and, um, she, she asked me to, if
17:58I would be still around.
17:59Now, the bars don't close till 3.30, 4 o'clock.
18:02So, I, you know, I had to sort of see what would happen, roll the dice.
18:06So, I, I got home around 6 a.m., and fell asleep outside my door.
18:11And as my roommate was leaving to go to work, he had to push my body out of the way.
18:16And, uh, that's when I realized that I was going to be late to the audition.
18:19I ran down the street, came into the room, and they were just closing up, and there was
18:24a case of, um, mystery items inside it, and they said, just take one, and, uh, and take
18:32a bite.
18:32And I'd never seen this before, but it was a Snickers ice cream bar.
18:36Now, if you've ever had too much alcohol, and you, the first thing you get when you wake
18:43up, rather than brush your teeth, is a Snickers ice cream bar, needless to say, several mouth
18:50orgasms later, I booked it in the room, and have been eating them ever since, which I'm
18:56working on with my trainer.
18:57Uh, but I booked in the room, and then we went to go shoot it, and I did the opposite
19:04before the shoot.
19:05I got to have a lot of rest.
19:06I was very cogent, and, uh, I sucked so badly.
19:10When we were shooting it, we did 86 takes.
19:14And I, I actually had to go to the hospital, because I had, uh, there's caffeine in chocolate,
19:20and I had an overdose of the, of the caffeine.
19:2486 takes, probably type 2 diabetes by then.
19:26Well, luckily, no one will ever see this commercial.
19:29So.
19:30Well, 86 takes.
19:32Yeah.
19:32And you say, no one will see this commercial.
19:34Let's see what, let's see.
19:37Okay.
19:38Let's see what.
19:38YouTube, damn it.
19:40Let's see what took 86 takes.
19:43Snickers ice cream bar.
19:45Everything you'd expect a Snickers ice cream bar to be.
19:48You've got to taste it to believe it.
19:54I take back, I take back everything I said about your acting.
20:01Uh, like I said, very successful television movie career.
20:05Have you ever done theatre?
20:06Genuine question.
20:07Uh, yes.
20:09But it was terrible.
20:10Um, and, you know, actors often think, uh, maybe Shakespeare, maybe, maybe that's in the
20:16cards for me one day.
20:18And I was indeed thinking about this.
20:20And I was in Toronto, I think, when I saw, uh, Keanu Reeves in, um, Macbeth.
20:27And that cured me of any curiosity that I had.
20:32Would you like to see my Keanu Reeves does Macbeth?
20:35Well.
20:37Okay, now, I, this is, uh, my rendition of Keanu done with pure love and nothing but utter
20:44respect and wonder at, at, at, uh, the Matrix and all the...
20:48But this is Keanu doing Macbeth.
20:51Whoa.
20:55He's here in double trust.
20:57First as I am his kinsman and his subject strong both against the deed.
21:01Then as his host, who should against his murderer, shut the door and I'll bear the knife myself.
21:07Besides, this Duncan has burned his packages.
21:13Wow.
21:17So, no Shakespeare for me.
21:21Just clarifying, that was done with love, that version.
21:25I have a Russell Crowe impression, but I won't do it because that is with love.
21:29Friend of the show.
21:30Friend of the show.
21:31Are you kidding me?
21:32He's the most amazing thing in the world.
21:34He's, he's, he's up in the rafters, fan of the opera style, by the way.
21:38Ah!
21:40Hey, NCIS for 13 seasons.
21:42Congratulations.
21:43An amazing effort.
21:44Lucky 13.
21:49Now, I told you before, I've missed every one.
21:52But, no, it's a very popular franchise, all right around the world.
21:56If you've missed it, here's a moment from NCIS.
21:59Oh!
22:00Oh!
22:02Oh!
22:03Okay.
22:04If I were you, I would burn that film because you do not want any more of these getting out
22:08there.
22:08Now, Michael, the bit I loved about that is that photo that they used in that scene, in that episode,
22:14that's actually you.
22:15Yes.
22:16This is you.
22:18Look at that.
22:19I, you either, you either work at a bank or you're about to kill everyone in it.
22:23I'm not really sure what, what that, but that is, uh...
22:28That was my Hillary Clinton impression.
22:31How old were you there?
22:33Uh, I was 23.
22:34No, no, I was about 13 or 14.
22:37And you don't become an actor because things went well growing up, Sam.
22:41Um, so clearly, yeah.
22:44You can see, there's just a whiff of tragedy in that photo, isn't there?
22:47But look at, look at the handsome man you grew into.
22:50Like, that's, that's what a, what a, what a wonderful, encouraging message.
22:54What an encouraging message for all the fours out there.
22:57It's all about the hair.
22:57That's what you could end up.
22:59Um, I wanted to ask you this.
23:00This is a genuine question.
23:02What's the, what's the hardest thing about being an actor?
23:04Mm, what is the hardest thing about being an actor?
23:07Uh, I would say that, uh, the unpredictability of it and, and, you know, there's no matriculating,
23:15there's no moving through, uh, any kind of sequence in a career, like being a talk show
23:21host or, or, you know, um, a comedian or a comic genius, you know.
23:28He's talking to me, Sean.
23:32So, I, I do, I do think that there's this, uh, this insecurity that you have to get comfortable
23:38with.
23:39And also, you can get that imposter syndrome where you always feel like, uh, there's,
23:44see, that you're putting on a thing.
23:46And then, like, my wife said to me once, you can cry very easily.
23:52I've noticed.
23:53Why?
23:54Why is, why is that, uh, that coming to you so easily?
23:57And I said, your beauty overwhelms me so much.
24:02And that's when, and then she was like, she was like, never lie to me again.
24:07Actually, we do have one rule in our marriage.
24:10I mean, we have many rules.
24:12There's many rules.
24:12Don't get me wrong.
24:14Empty the dishwasher.
24:15Make sure the bag goes out Sunday night to the trash bin.
24:17Um, but the, the, the main, the main one is when you're having an argument, and I know
24:23most, uh, people don't, brother and sister here today never, never had an argument, also
24:29happened to be a married couple, uh, but they, they were, you, the, this is the key.
24:36Never, you do, say anything you want, any tactic you want, but the one thing you can't
24:40say is call somebody a name, like a bad word or a name.
24:45Okay.
24:45So I can be absolutely like vitriolic and pure red with anger, but always, uh, avoid
24:54using the bad, nasty accusatory, like name.
24:58Okay.
24:59I like, it's, it's a great answer.
25:01I know it sounds weird, but try it in your real life and you'd be like, oh, it's kind
25:04of like, um, wearing boxing gloves.
25:07It just sort of takes the, nobody's bleeding at the end.
25:10It's a beautiful message.
25:11I just want to say that that's interesting considering I just want to show you this
25:16scene, uh, from, it's a behind the scenes moment from NCIS.
25:20If I can't remember my line, see what I do?
25:23Hi, boss.
25:24I interrupt anything for, for, I didn't ask him.
25:28You know, after I listened to you speak so profoundly about the craft, right, do you have
25:32any obligation to actually learn the lines, Michael?
25:37Now you worked with me today.
25:38You know that I, I don't know my lines at all.
25:41Does it, does it take you out of the character though, by the way, when you look across and
25:44the, the other, the other actor has their lines stuck to their head?
25:47You, you, you saw the picture from my childhood.
25:50Yeah.
25:50Okay.
25:51There were not a lot of options for that guy.
25:53Well, you've, okay.
25:54And so it's a miracle you've ended up where you are.
25:56You have, you and my wife are thinking the exact same way.
26:00I just wanted to, I just wanted to just, you know, what would I know?
26:02But I just thought that learning your lines would be a fundamental part of the job.
26:06Anyway, um, time now for the higher, higher.
26:12Yeah.
26:12Guest announcer question with Sean McHale.
26:16Time now for this.
26:25Michael, I'm sorry about the interview so far, but one final question before you leave.
26:33Now, NCIA has been running for 26 years.
26:36You've been there for 13, but it does seem to me that there is a murder or pretty close
26:39to it every week.
26:41Do you think this says something negative about the culture of the United States Navy?
26:51Well, I think.
26:53Should we look into it?
26:55Should there be an inquiry?
26:56Perhaps a Royal Commission?
26:57Maybe that would be a good series.
26:59I'm just spitballing here.
27:00We've been on the air so long that nobody remembers how the show got pitched.
27:04Because nobody's still alive from that, from that pitch sequence.
27:09But it's probably similar to how Gilligan's Island got on the air or anything.
27:13It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle every week.
27:17Yes, somebody in Rock Creek Park finds a dead petty officer and, gosh darn it, we're going
27:22to figure out who did it and why.
27:23I like it.
27:24Would you please thank, please, Michael Weatherly, ladies and gentlemen.
27:32I like it.
27:33I like it.
27:35You know, don't.
27:36By the way, by the way, what a wonderful example of why your Tonight Show lasted 13 episodes.
27:43What do you mean?
27:44We're not moving on.
27:45I'm contractually obliged to talk about the new series.
27:48Oh, I'm so sorry.
27:50Oh, you wanted to talk about Paramount Plus a little bit.
27:52No, we're currently...
27:53You've got a spinoff series, NCIS, Tony and Ziva.
27:56Yes.
27:57This is big. Here's a clip.
27:58You and I haven't been in this kind of a situation in a long time,
28:01so I'd like to set some ground rules.
28:04We keep it professional.
28:06We are good at professional.
28:09Yes, we are, and to that end, I need you to trust me.
28:12I do trust you.
28:14I just don't want us falling back into bad habits.
28:19Whoa.
28:21Stainy. Stainy.
28:22That's Cody DiPablo, plays Ziva David, on the show.
28:27And it is always an honor, a privilege, and a pleasure
28:30to be hitting a mark next to that gal.
28:32She is a properly trained actress.
28:35She memorizes her lines.
28:37She knows exactly how to do everything,
28:39and she creates a great big safety net for me to fall into
28:42every time we look at each other.
28:44Have you been angling for a spinoff the whole time?
28:46Yes.
28:47It pretty much...
28:50But it's...
28:50It is the kind of thing...
28:52We've shot in Budapest.
28:53We went to Europe.
28:54I lived there for seven months, six months,
28:56and then a month in the Canary Islands.
28:58And we shot, you know, there's...
29:02I don't know how many seasons we're going to do,
29:04but it'll be...
29:06Iceland next?
29:07I don't know.
29:08Where the hell do we go?
29:09I'm sure it's going to last a long time.
29:12I just wanted to say, by the way,
29:13it's been an honor to have you on the show.
29:14I know you've done all the talk shows around the world,
29:16but none of our guests leave empty-handed.
29:19I've got some gifts for you, Michael Weatherly.
29:20OK, we've got the Sampang Tonight cap.
29:23I'll wear this on the Sydney NCIS set.
29:25There you go.
29:27We've got the mug.
29:29We've got the mug.
29:30And, of course,
29:32I don't know if you're watching it,
29:33but our little mascot, Contagious George,
29:36take that home with you, mate.
29:37We really appreciate it.
29:38Will you...
29:41Will you please thank Michael Weatherly?
29:44Back with more Sampang Tonight after this.
30:09Welcome back.
30:10Now, as a naturally curious man,
30:12I have a lot of questions I've always wanted to ask,
30:14and now I've got my own show, I finally can.
30:17Which leads me to my breakout segment from season one,
30:21questions I've always wanted to ask,
30:22and now I've got my own show, I finally can.
30:28Sean, for those at home wanting to get involved,
30:30that hashtag again?
30:31Yes, just down here.
30:32There it is.
30:33You can read it now.
30:38The world of psychiatry is well represented in popular culture.
30:41I've got so many questions,
30:42and here to answer them is psychiatrist Dr Samantha Loy.
30:46Please welcome.
30:48Now, um, Samantha, thank you for being here.
30:52Before we get started, let's, uh, let's get ready there with the, uh,
30:57they, um, they might come in, come in handy
30:59if Sean starts talking about his career again.
31:04Um...
31:06Secondly, secondly, um,
31:08how's your relationship with your mother?
31:10Well, that's the reason why I got into psychiatry.
31:13Really?
31:13Yeah.
31:14Just like the, just like Michael beforehand.
31:17Oh, where you were listening?
31:18Yeah, I was listening, actually.
31:19I'm a good listener.
31:20That's where we differ.
31:23Um...
31:23By the way, psychiatrists are so smart.
31:25How did it take Bruce Willis the whole movie
31:27to realise he was dead in six minutes?
31:29Don't answer that.
31:30I want to drill down, um, on your,
31:33into your clinical experience,
31:34so let's take a look at this scene
31:36from There's Something About Mary.
31:37I worked all summer to pay off those debts
31:40and I never saw Mary again.
31:43That was, what, like, 13 years ago.
31:48No, that's what Mary was doing.
31:51Samantha, do you ever zone out
31:54while listening to...
31:58Sorry? All clap.
32:01I like...
32:06I like that you didn't even wait
32:12till I'd finished the question.
32:14Genuine question.
32:15Do you ever zone out
32:16when you're listening to a client?
32:18Well, we have lots of training
32:19and we're actually in a really privileged position
32:21to listen to what our patients say.
32:23So, really, we're trained to listen
32:26and take into consideration
32:28what they're talking about
32:29and we hear so many interesting stories
32:32that, um, it's actually quite hard to zone out
32:34but we are taught to have certain mannerisms
32:38and training to look like
32:40we're actually really listening.
32:41So, we can do both
32:42but most of the time
32:43the stories we hear are fascinating
32:45and everyone's got their own story to tell.
32:47They should be allowed to tell it.
32:48So, that's what we're here for.
32:49Earliest you've ever looked at the clock.
32:53How many minutes...
32:56Well, you actually...
32:58Sometimes you have a strategically placed clock.
33:00Rightio.
33:01So, you can just sort of
33:02surreptitiously look at it
33:03and know what's happening with the time.
33:05Well, I should have one over your shoulder, Sean.
33:08Now, I was fascinated by this moment
33:10in The Last of Us, Samantha.
33:11Have a look.
33:11What is this?
33:12Our fifth session?
33:13Are you just going to keep
33:15grouching on like this every time?
33:17Aren't you supposed to be validating me or something?
33:19Actually, I am.
33:21Ah, but I'm not going to do it anymore
33:23because you're lying to me
33:25and you want me to validate that.
33:27No.
33:28In fact, fuck no.
33:33Um, first obvious question.
33:35Jeez, that Pedro Pascal's a dreamboat, isn't he?
33:39Uh, Samantha, how honest can you be with your clients?
33:44Well, it's all about having a therapeutic relationship
33:47and at some point in time,
33:49you want them to trust you
33:50and be able to share the most intimate details.
33:52So, at some point, I think,
33:54after you've had a good conversation
33:56and many sessions,
33:57you may be able to be able
33:58to get them to learn the truth
34:00and be able to get the patient themselves
34:02to know what's actually going on.
34:03And so our job as a psychiatrist
34:05is for them to be able to see
34:07what is happening in their own life
34:08rather than us suggesting it.
34:09They learn to see the truth themselves.
34:12Okay.
34:13Wow.
34:13This is actually fascinating.
34:15I'm, um,
34:16I'll be surprised.
34:17Hey,
34:17I wanted to, um,
34:20ask you, though,
34:21about roleplay.
34:22Now, uh,
34:24roleplay in sessions.
34:25Have a look at this moment
34:26from 30 Rock, Samantha.
34:27I think I can do this.
34:29I'm mad at you, Dad.
34:30Hey, dummy.
34:31I'm mad at you, too.
34:32Why you gotta act out that way?
34:34Uh, that's not exactly what I have.
34:35Because you left me, Dad!
34:37I was young and confused
34:38and your moms didn't want me around no more.
34:40Uh, this is not helpful.
34:42Be me now.
34:44I only act out
34:46because I want your love!
34:48Down to my head!
34:54So many questions there.
34:56Um,
34:58mostly for our lawyers.
35:00Roleplaying, though,
35:01is that a genuine psychiatric technique?
35:04Well, not in the sense
35:05that you've seen there,
35:06but certainly some type,
35:08some psychotherapy techniques,
35:10such as cognitive behaviour therapy,
35:12may help people practise and learn
35:14if they've got trauma
35:15or difficulties with different, um, anxieties.
35:19So if you're scared of heights, for example,
35:20part of the roleplay might be
35:22to gradually expose that person
35:24to heights in a really slow and safe fashion.
35:26So in some ways,
35:28roleplay but in a different sense.
35:30Okay.
35:30You know, sort of graded exposure, I suppose.
35:32So reading between the lines,
35:33you wouldn't necessarily do the voices.
35:35Certainly not.
35:36Okay, great.
35:36Good time.
35:37Um, what have we got?
35:39I don't know how that got there.
35:40Hey, um, all right.
35:41This, couples, couples therapy.
35:44Yes.
35:44Couples therapy is serious work
35:46and millions of Australians have witnessed it,
35:48uh, or witnessed its complexity on screen
35:51through profound television programs such as this.
35:55The photo ranking task asks our couples
35:57to reveal what they find attractive in a partner.
36:00You can go second last.
36:04They put me second last.
36:07Samantha, at what stage of your psychiatric training
36:10do you learn about ranking your partner by hotness?
36:16I'm not sure if I can...
36:19That's all right.
36:19It's...
36:20That is actually quite ridiculous,
36:21what we just saw in maths.
36:22But before you leave,
36:24I was just wondering if you could rank, um,
36:26these gentlemen in order, if that's okay.
36:29I'll get this right.
36:30I think it's like this.
36:32All right, let's set this up very quickly.
36:33Okay.
36:34Number one, the great Sean McAuliffe.
36:36Have a look at that.
36:37Whoa!
36:39Handsome.
36:41Oh, number two, I'll throw myself in there,
36:43if that's okay.
36:48Look at those cheekbones.
36:50Um, all right, this is a bit unfair,
36:51the handsome Michael Weatherly,
36:53but, uh, anyway, he's in the...
36:55..in there.
36:59And, of course, well, look,
37:01I'm just giving you, you know, options here,
37:03but Contagious George is also...
37:06Now, in terms of hotness, Samantha Lloyd,
37:10I'm so sorry to waste your time, by the way.
37:13How would you rank them?
37:14Go.
37:15Oh, my God.
37:16This is a tough question.
37:17Yeah.
37:18Um, ah...
37:19This was taken when Sean was 11.
37:21Yes.
37:22And yours?
37:22When was that taken?
37:24Mine?
37:24Yeah, about two days ago.
37:26Two days ago, yeah.
37:26Yeah.
37:27Okay, um, well...
37:30I'm going to just close my eyes and pick that one.
37:34What?
37:34This one's the most handsome?
37:36That's the most handsome.
37:36Okay, then...
37:37Silver Fox.
37:43I'm right here.
37:46You've been objectified.
37:47Well done.
37:48All right, I'm going to leave you...
37:49Well, no, just two, three, four.
37:51Go.
37:52Two, three, four.
37:54There you go.
37:54I'm glad I went back for that.
37:56It's been totally fascinating.
37:58Please put your hands together for psychiatrist,
38:00Dr. Samantha Lloyd.
38:01Back with Lloyd in a moment.
38:33I wanted to ask you, genuinely, do you have anything...
38:35Like, thank you for being here, but do you have anything to plug?
38:37No, I'm here, I'm your friend.
38:39Of course I'm here, I've got nothing to plug.
38:41Although...
38:42LAUGHTER
38:43..there is Just for Laughs comedy gala.
38:45It's not about me, it's not about me,
38:47but all these wonderful comedians will be there.
38:51You can see the date there, and you're not there.
38:54But are you doing anything...
38:55Are you doing anything Just for Laughs, or have you got this show on?
38:57Yeah, I've got this show.
38:58Also, you say it's not about you,
39:00but your picture is clearly the biggest...
39:02Where was that? Was that there?
39:04It's clearly the biggest in the...
39:06There you go.
39:06Oh, I see, yeah.
39:07You look like a giant!
39:08I didn't recognise myself without the beard.
39:11You doing stand-up?
39:12Yeah, I'll be doing a...
39:14I'll be doing a bit of stand-up first,
39:15I've never done stand-up, I'll do one joke.
39:18One joke.
39:18Can I try it?
39:19Because you're a professional comedian.
39:22LAUGHTER
39:23Can I try it out and give me a few pointers,
39:25tell me if it's OK?
39:26Happy to be of service.
39:27OK, well, I went to my psychiatrist the other day, Sam,
39:30and I said,
39:31Doc, I think I'm a kleptomaniac.
39:32He said,
39:33Really?
39:33You should take something for it.
39:35LAUGHTER
39:37That's the whole act.
39:38That's all I got.
39:40What else do you need?
39:41That's all.
39:42How long are you supposed to be on stage for?
39:44I'm supposed to be on stage for 10 minutes.
39:46LAUGHTER
39:47But I figure the applause will cover the rest of it.
39:49Oh, absolutely.
39:50Standing ovation, maybe a couple of songs.
39:53All right.
39:53Sean, I'm sure you watched season one of this show,
39:56and early this year, back in season one,
40:01I met this young man.
40:03We have someone in the audience,
40:04a special guest, that's in there.
40:06Sir, could you tell us what your name is, please?
40:08My name is Sam Pang.
40:10It's Sam Pang.
40:13And is it true that you're a teacher?
40:15Completely true, yeah.
40:16Your name's Sam Pang?
40:17Correct.
40:17I've actually got some of your mail as well.
40:21LAUGHTER
40:24So, a lovely young man.
40:26Now, since Sam Pang, the teacher, came into my world,
40:29I figured I'd return the favour and teach one of his classes.
40:33LAUGHTER
40:34I think it went pretty well.
40:36Sam, I'm not going to lie, I'm a little bit nervous.
40:38When I was at school, I was the only Asian kid
40:40who used to copy answers off the white kids.
40:42Well, it's strange since then, Sam.
40:43Just get in there.
40:46LAUGHTER
40:50LAUGHTER
40:53OK, one rule in my class is,
40:55if you put up your hand, be careful of the angle.
40:57I don't want it to turn into a salute.
40:59It's a legal mistake, OK?
41:01By the way, what's this class?
41:02Business.
41:03Business. Got a text?
41:04Yeah.
41:05Great. Thank you.
41:08Don't worry about business.
41:09Business will get you nowhere.
41:10I've got some life lessons for you.
41:12Just remember this.
41:12The first rule of Fight Club
41:14is we don't talk about Fight Club, OK?
41:16Any questions?
41:17I do, Mr Pang.
41:18Please. Mr Pang was my father.
41:20You can call me Mr Entertainment.
41:23Actually, that's Richard Wilkins.
41:24Your leader, Sensei or Poe.
41:27OK, general knowledge.
41:28Who can tell me who this fan is?
41:30Um, that's Mr Miyagi.
41:33No, this is the Prime Minister of Japan.
41:35What are they teaching you in this class?
41:37All right, I've actually got some questions for you,
41:39if that's OK.
41:40What does skibbity toilet mean?
41:42You're so skibbity.
41:43You're so skibbity?
41:44Skibbity toiletries.
41:44Or you're so skibbity toiletries?
41:46Toiletries?
41:47Toiletries, like charisma?
41:49Simp.
41:49You're kind of a simp.
41:50I'm kind of a simp.
41:52You're like a simp for saying.
41:54Simp.
41:56All right, remember these three things and you'll be fine.
41:59One, never buy the sushi from a server.
42:02Two, keep this in mind when you're studying,
42:04that by the time you graduate,
42:06due to AI, there'll be no jobs left anyway.
42:08And three, no adult has any clue
42:11about anything they're doing in their life,
42:14and they're lying if they tell you otherwise.
42:16Now you know what to do.
42:25Good.
42:26Just keep an eye on the angle of that salute.
42:28Take the rest of the day off.
42:30Simp.
42:39That's right.
42:40We teachers really are heroes.
42:43Take that, nurses.
42:46Big thanks to Sam Pang and his Year 11 business class.
42:49The Wheel of Segments is up next.
42:51Stick around.
43:13Welcome back to Sam Pang tonight.
43:15All right, but just before we go and just before our time's finished,
43:19it's time now for the Wheel of Segments.
43:23That's right.
43:25Whoa.
43:26Look at that.
43:27Brought to you by NCIS Wagga Wagga.
43:32And Contagious Georgia's Topical Ointments.
43:35Look out for that.
43:36Now, we all know how it works, Sean.
43:37Whatever the wheel lands on determines the next segment.
43:40So I'll give it a spin.
43:41Hey, what do you think?
43:41Let's just go there.
43:43What was that?
43:44That's terrible.
43:44Well, it gets going.
43:45It's got an interesting momentum, by the way.
43:47I know that Sean juggles a chainsaw is one I'm sure that you'll be looking out for.
43:51I don't know if there's a...
43:53Yeah, you're ready to go.
43:54That's good.
43:54Yeah, I'm good.
43:54All right.
43:55Here we go.
43:57That's a rickshaw karaoke.
43:59Of course, it landed on that last week, Sean.
44:01Was it a good segment?
44:01It was a good segment.
44:02Imagine if it landed there again.
44:04Oh, that would be...
44:05Spin it any further.
44:07I think it's landed on...
44:09Oh, no.
44:10It's landed on...
44:12It's been a long time coming, but...
44:15I guess it's finally time to play what is about to become Australia's favourite game show,
44:19Slur or Not a Slur, with your host, Sean McKayla.
44:24Is it offensive?
44:25Do you concur?
44:27It's slur or not a slur.
44:32Thank you very much indeed.
44:34Hey, Sam, this is wonderful.
44:35What a great opportunity.
44:36Oh, yeah.
44:36Welcome back to Slur or Not a Slur.
44:39Can you feel how nervous the audience is, Sean?
44:42It's OK.
44:42This is a safe space.
44:44Safe hands, too.
44:45A safe pair of hands.
44:45We've got to...
44:46Absolutely.
44:47We've got merch as well, all right?
44:48Available on the World Wide Web.
44:50There it is now.
44:50Look at that.
44:51Over there in the gift shop.
44:52Yes, over there.
44:53Yes, stand in the gift shop and we'll do another cutaway.
44:56It'll look great.
44:56OK, cool.
44:57There's the gift shop.
44:59You're not terribly well lit.
45:01Come on, come on.
45:01No, no, sorry about that.
45:02Now, you know how it works.
45:03I say a word and then you guess slur or not a slur.
45:06It's pretty simple, isn't it?
45:07OK, I'll put it into a sentence first.
45:09OK, I'm ready.
45:10Yes.
45:11There were too many Google Huffs at the party.
45:14There were too many Google Huffs at the party.
45:18The word is Google Huff.
45:20What are you thinking, Sam?
45:21What do you think?
45:22What do you reckon?
45:24You nervous?
45:24Yeah, I am.
45:25I am nervous.
45:26What's the audience think?
45:28Yes, we can ask the audience.
45:29What does the audience think?
45:31Slur or not a slur?
45:31There's a lot of not a slur.
45:33I think it's equally slurs.
45:34I think I'm going to go with that.
45:36There's a lot of not a slurs in the audience.
45:38Sean, I'm going to go with lock in not a slur.
45:40Are you sure?
45:41I'm sure.
45:42You're going to lock in not a slur.
45:43And you are correct.
45:47Well done.
45:48A Google Huff is a type of German pastry.
45:51Nothing wrong with that.
45:52Nothing slurry about that.
45:53Nothing slurry at all.
45:54That's all right.
45:54You want the next one?
45:55I can't wait.
45:56Okay, you're right.
45:57I'm ready.
45:57You're going for the big mamoo.
45:59Okay, here we go.
46:00Would you like it in a sentence again?
46:01Shall I start that off?
46:02That's a good idea.
46:02That's twice you've said mamoo tonight, by the way.
46:04I didn't even know what it means.
46:05I didn't either.
46:06It sounds like a slur, by the way.
46:08I'm ready.
46:08No, that's not the slur.
46:10Would you like it in a sentence?
46:11Yes, please.
46:11In a sentence.
46:12All right.
46:12Sam, you are a huge...
46:25On the advice of legal counsel, I've been asked to read the following statement.
46:31Sam Bang Tonight, Network 10, Paramount Plus and CBS regret any and all distress or discomfort
46:37sustained during the previous segment.
46:39The Network lawyer would also like to remind viewers that the opinions of Sean McAuliffe
46:47do not reflect those of this show or the network.
46:50Sean, I'm sorry, mate.
46:52You're out.
46:53Contagious?
46:53Sure enough.
46:54Get him out of here, mate.
46:57Out you go.
46:58Out you go.
47:00It's your birthday today.
47:01I arranged a very special surprise.
47:03Someone very special to come and see you.
47:05Really?
47:06Yes.
47:06Oh, my God.
47:07Your mother.
47:21Happy birthday, Sam.
47:23I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
47:25No, thank you.
47:25Thank you very much, Mum.
47:27Love you.
47:31Are you...
47:32I think I need help.
47:33Yeah, yeah, I've got it now.
47:35Okay.
47:35I can't think of a better way to finish the show than me holding a cake.
47:40And where are we?
47:41Over here.
47:41Over here, Mum.
47:44Over here, actress playing my mum.
47:48That's our show.
47:50A big thanks to our amazing guests, Michael Weatherly, Dr. Samantha Lloyd, Contagious George,
47:54my special guest host, Sean McAuliffe, and my fake mum.
47:58Next week, Eddie Izzard, Lord Ian Bothan, and special guest announcer, Lawrence Mooney.
48:02Good night, Australia.
48:07Hey, Wendell, put your back into it.
48:09It's heavy.
48:10Why isn't McAuliffe helping?
48:12Who do you think's digging the hole?
48:17Here, you go up.
48:18You go up.
48:19You go up.
48:20I'll go down.
48:21That's good.
48:24Whoa.
48:25Shut the door, and I'll burn it out myself.
48:28I'll burn it out myself.
48:31I'll burn it out myself.
48:31I'll burn it out myself.
48:33I'll burn it out myself.
48:33I'll burn it out myself.
48:34I'll burn it out myself.
48:34I'll burn it out myself.
48:34I'll burn it out myself.
48:36I'll burn it out myself.
48:37I'll burn it out myself.
48:38I'll burn it out myself.
48:39You
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