00:00I'm Molly and when I was 15 years old my OCD convinced me I was a paedophile.
00:04I was always a really anxious child and kind of had thoughts around like death and being
00:08taken I was always really in my own head about like kind of everything and then when I was
00:12kind of 14, 15 years old the thoughts kind of took a turn that was like not what I experienced
00:17before and I was starting to kind of have thoughts that I was a paedophile, that I was
00:21a rapist, that I was a predator.
00:23So when I was 19 I actually found a TikTok video and it was a girl talking about like
00:27some dark thoughts that she'd been having that were kind of about like her niece and
00:31like kind of paedophilic thoughts and I saw it and I was like wait what and I read the
00:35comments and it was all about OCD and I was like OCD?
00:37I thought OCD like a lot of people do was cleaning, organising.
00:41That can be a part of it but that's one theme out of all of these other themes that you
00:45can experience.
00:46If I've seen that video kind of was like okay wait maybe there's something that I can talk
00:50about eventually, maybe there's something that actually isn't just me and then kind
00:54of years of talking about it a little bit more kind of not still saying what I actually
00:57was thinking and what I was actually experiencing.
00:59I was kind of saying oh yeah I have dark thoughts but I wasn't saying exactly what those thoughts
01:02were.
01:03I got a diagnosis last year so I was 22 and my first experience is awful thoughts when
01:06I was 15.
01:07So seven years of like not knowing and like anxiety and still thinking oh could this just
01:12be me and I'm just crazy and I then started posting on TikTok in 2023 after kind of knowing
01:19what I had for maybe two years and the response I had was like overwhelmingly positive and people
01:24being like oh my god I've had this before and like the more that we talk about it the
01:28less scary it'll be and the less scary it'll be the less it will affect you and those thoughts
01:31will come in as quickly.
01:33This conversation needs to be happening and I'm glad that it's happening now but I might
01:36think I could be a part of it.
01:37So yeah.
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