00:03so we're about to shoot this scene in the movie where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over
00:07my body okay but I realize they're gluing fur everywhere except my cleavage so I asked the
00:15director why and he says it's important to the story that my boobs be the last things to turn
00:18ape it's sweet that he thinks there's a story oh and there's not even a bathroom on set I have
00:28to
00:28go to the gas station across the street I mean I was dressed like half an ape and still not
00:33even
00:33close to the most disgusting person in there Leonard I could use your assistance sure what's
00:39up well now that I've given up string theory I'm struggling to find my next area of focus
00:44in your professional opinion which of these areas do you think is the most promising well I think
00:50there's some really innovative stuff going on in dark matter that's helpful
00:58okay of these four areas what did we say about being a nicer friend thank you Leonard what did
01:05we say about being a gullible weenie and he's just so frustrating you're trying too hard you need to
01:11do something else get your mind off it hey how about we bring back anything can happen Thursdays hey
01:16that's good why'd you guys stop doing that you made fun of us said I was stupid yeah sounds like
01:22me come on Sheldon what do you say all right I officially reinstate anything can happen Thursday
01:29great what do you want to do I don't know what do you want to do I don't know what
01:36do you want to do
01:38starting to remember the problem with anything can happen Thursdays
01:42our whole universe was in a hot dense state that nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started way
01:49the earth began to cool the autotropes began to drew me and recalls developed tools we built a wall
01:55we built a pyramid math science history unraveling the mystery that all started with a big bang
02:08hmm what could we do that's fun what do we do that's different what could we do that's free
02:18oh got it we order a pizza are you kidding that's what you always do think harder that you're right
02:25you're right oh got it we order calzones cut them open eat them like pizza all right all right I'll
02:34shake the brain bush one more time see what falls out oh got it there is a live-action role
02:40-playing
02:41group that meets every Thursday night in Griffith Park and reenacts battles from Lord of the Rings
02:47tell me more about this calzone idea you know what oh why don't we just ease into this you know
02:53let's go for a walk and and see if we find a new restaurant any chance that restaurant is near
02:59Griffith Park no all right Raj and Howard are at Howard's mom's but should we call the girls and
03:10see if they want to come yeah Bernadette's working late Amy's sick oh what's wrong with her well she
03:15talks a lot she always wants to hold hands that's not what I meant well if you were referring to
03:21her
03:21illness your question should have been what ails her what ails her oh who knows
03:30come on anything can happen we can push them down the stairs
03:36hey thanks for coming to hang out no problem how's your mom feeling okay well she'd feel better if she
03:42took her medicine you know when cinnamon won't take her medicine I hide it in a piece of cheese good
03:47idea
03:47we can wrap the pill and cheese feed it to cinnamon and then my mom can eat cinnamon
03:55what do you feel like doing I was thinking we could watch a DVD well my mom doesn't have a
04:00lot to choose
04:01from unless you want to watch the video of her colonoscopy spoiler alert 20 minutes in they find a
04:08prune pit actually how do you feel about watching a house of a thousand corpses straight up gore fast you
04:18hate this stuff I do but for some reason Emily loves it and wants to watch it with me tomorrow
04:23so I thought
04:23if I saw it with you first then I could act cool about it with her it's actually not a
04:28bad plan I can
04:29sit through the colonoscopy now but that first time I was like oh my god a prune pit so you'd
04:40watch
04:41it sure you're a good friend I owe you one oh that one so we're just randomly choosing a restaurant
04:59without researching it online yep great yeah this is how anything can happen Thursday turns into it
05:05won't stop coming out Friday hey how about that Asian fusion place fusion and Asians I'm trying not to
05:15think about science what the hell what she's not working late and Amy doesn't look sick why would
05:43you listen to this murder cannibalism and satanic rituals are just a few of the thousand plus horrors
05:51that await I just helped my mom out of the tub so I'm one slippery horror ahead of you good
05:59son I
05:59don't know how you do it beach blankets my friend it's all about beach blankets all right let's get
06:05this over with you it's got someone's hair on it oh yeah you're gonna do great with this movie
06:17you're not working late why did you lie to me and Amy you told me you were sick but you
06:22look just as
06:23pale and tired as always I'm sorry I just needed a break from hearing you obsess about what to do
06:30after string theory we kind of just wanted one night where we didn't have to hear about how
06:34miserable you are making this movie but none of that means we don't love you I haven't been complaining
06:40that much about the movie have I I also love you
06:51you know what maybe I need a break from all of you come on Sheldon where are we going we're
06:57gonna
06:57have anything can happen Thursday you're gonna tell me all about your science stuff and I'm gonna
07:00complain about my movie and we're gonna support each other because that's what friends do okay
07:05because if I had to take now I'd probably go with dark matter
07:23what's wrong I don't understand my food
07:28Chinese noodles with Korean barbecue and a taco
07:37it's fusion
07:39my mother would lock her car doors if she had to drive to this hodgepodge of ethnicity
07:47you think I've been complaining too much about the movie
07:51not at all thank you you but to be fair when you talk most of what you say sounds like
07:56wah wah wah clothes
08:03hey I don't understand why you're not upset with Amy
08:05I am but so much so that I'm gonna bring her here for dinner on our next date night
08:21okay so in the last 20 minutes we've seen a crazy woman kissing a fetus in a jaw we've seen
08:30a guy cut in half and sown to a fish the brutal dismemberment of a rotisserie chicken by my mother
08:41on the bright side she didn't even notice the pill
08:47why does Emily like this stuff do you think there's something psychologically wrong with her
08:51what difference does it make what do you mean
08:54oh come on she could have a freezer full of ex-boyfriend's body parts and you'd still go out with
08:58her
09:00I do like that the ex-boyfriend's out of the picture
09:07I feel so bad about lying to Sheldon how am I gonna make it up to him
09:11I tell you what I do with Howard but I don't think dressing up like a catholic schoolgirl is gonna
09:15work with Sheldon
09:21you probably give you homework
09:27did you lie to Howard about tonight of course and you don't feel guilty about it between Penny's gorilla movie
09:33and Howard's gorilla mother I had no choice
09:37thankfully Penny and I have a relationship based on honesty
09:43what I don't lie to her
09:45oh we know you don't lie to her
09:54thank you
09:55hey maybe the answer to your career question is in one of these
09:59Penny there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems
10:04and that's an Oreo
10:08or a nutter butter if you're in a pinch
10:12come on open it I bet it says something great
10:14this is Asian fusion
10:16for all you know there's a tiny chihuahua in here
10:20fine I'll go
10:23hmm
10:24people turn to you for guidance and wisdom
10:27yeah that's a good one
10:28no it's not
10:30how is that not good
10:32turn to you for wisdom
10:34you clearly that cookie is mocking you
10:38you'd never hear that kind of sass from a nutter butter
10:42alright since you're paying for dinner I'll let that slide
10:44open yours
10:47have you ever paid for a meal
10:48not with money read
10:53your warm and fun loving nature delights those around you
10:57yep try again
11:11let me get this straight so he kills this girl's father cuts off the guy's face and is wearing it
11:18as a mask while he makes out with her
11:23I'm just gonna say it that's not okay
11:30why can't I be in a relationship with a girl who likes the sound of music
11:35Raj you are the girl in the relationship who likes the sound of music
11:44hey Penny what's up
11:47no Bernie's working late
11:51really
11:54thanks for telling me
11:56what
11:58I'm having sex with a Catholic schoolgirl tonight
12:01oh
12:08I think I see our next stop
12:11you can't be serious
12:13well I wanted to waste my time on nonsense
12:15I'd follow Leonard on Instagram
12:19no come on tonight we are trying new things
12:23oh
12:24that's a lot of incense
12:27or someone set a hippie on fire
12:33yeah honey I'm still stuck at work
12:36really?
12:37have you said that?
12:41okay it's true I'm sorry
12:44I'll see you at home
12:46yeah yeah I'll put it on
12:50you and I never just hang out like this
12:52why is that?
12:54I know it's weird right?
12:55yeah we should do it more often
12:56oh no I mean this is weird right now
13:02uh it's Penny
13:04is she still mad?
13:05it doesn't seem like it
13:06she got Sheldon to go to a psychic with her
13:08a psychic?
13:10he considers them not just mumbo jumbo
13:12but extra jumbo mumbo jumbo
13:16well Penny can be very persuasive
13:18she's gotten me to do a lot of things
13:20I wouldn't normally do
13:21cause she has sex with you
13:23yeah she does
13:26can I confess something?
13:28once in a while I get a little jealous
13:30of how close Penny and Sheldon are
13:32really?
13:33I mean not in a romantic way
13:35it's just she really has some sort of connection with him
13:38well they've known each other a long time
13:41Penny grew up around horses
13:43so she knows how to approach him
13:44without making him skittish
13:47don't get me wrong
13:48I'm glad they're friends
13:49I just wish he'd be that comfortable around me already
13:52it took him a long time to get comfortable around me too
13:56really?
13:57what did you do?
13:58something terrible in a former life
14:00I don't know
14:03I gotta go Penny ratted me out
14:06FYI she's getting you a watch for your birthday
14:07with money she took out of your wallet
14:15I don't mean to be rude or discourteous
14:18but before we begin
14:19I'd just like to say
14:21there is absolutely no scientific evidence
14:23to support clairvoyance of any kind
14:25which means
14:27and again
14:28no insult intended
14:30that you're a fraud
14:33your profession is a swindle
14:35and uh
14:36your livelihood is dependent
14:37on the gullibility of stupid people
14:41again
14:42no offense
14:44Sheldon just ask your question
14:49okay I just did
14:50what was it?
14:52oh for God's sake
14:53look he's a physicist
14:54who's trying to figure out
14:55what his next field of study should be
14:56for your information
14:57I was asking her about the next Star Trek movie
15:01okay I can answer that one
15:02I'll be bored
15:04alright
15:05why don't we begin
15:14your spirit guides are telling me that
15:17there's a woman in your life
15:18you're having problems with
15:21that's an easy guess
15:22I'm clearly an annoying person
15:24I have problems with both genders
15:27yes
15:28you clearly are
15:31but
15:31I'm seeing a specific woman
15:34that you're in a romantic relationship with
15:36oh oh
15:37here we go
15:40does she have dark hair?
15:41yes yes
15:42your spirit guides are on fire
15:45the majority of people have dark hair
15:47even you at one time
15:50does she work in a similar field to you?
15:53ha! the opposite
15:54she's a neurobiologist
15:56and I'm a theoretical physicist
15:58my spirit guides can just suck an egg
16:01they're telling me that you have difficulty being close with her
16:05oh he does
16:05he so does
16:06what should he do?
16:11he should give himself to this relationship
16:14once he does all his other pursuits will come into focus
16:18Sheldon do you hear that?
16:19I mean Amy is the key to your happiness
16:21exactly
16:23personally
16:23and professionally
16:25everything will fall into place
16:27once you commit to her
16:35you know what this is?
16:37yeah and I reserve this word for those rare instances when it's truly deserved
16:41this is malarkey
16:48wow
16:48wow you really struck a nerve
16:49I've never heard him use the M word before
16:57here we go
16:58house of a thousand corpses
17:01now just so you know
17:02I was a nanny for three years
17:04so if you get scared I can totally change your diaper
17:08actually I have to tell you something
17:11these kind of movies really aren't my thing
17:14so last night I watched it
17:16just to see what I was getting myself into
17:18okay
17:18and I have to be honest
17:20I thought it was disturbing and weird
17:23and it made me wonder what it says about someone who enjoys it
17:26I wonder that too
17:28then why do you watch these things?
17:31can I tell you something without you judging me?
17:33sure
17:35they kind of turned me on
17:38and play
17:52hello
17:54I didn't expect you this evening
17:56well I was just feeling so bad about lying to you the other night
17:59I wanted to make it up to you
18:02how do you propose to do that?
18:16unless you have gravity on blu-ray under that skirt
18:18I don't know where you're going with this
18:31weights
18:34the next day
18:34the next day
18:52we are going around
18:53we have to see you here
18:53we are going to watch the next video
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