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The Weekly With Charlie Pickering S12E12
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00:11Hello and welcome to The Weekly.
00:13I'm Charlie Pickering and we have a huge show for you tonight.
00:15Reece Nicholson is back and hellbent on joining the Illuminati.
00:19The hilarious Nicolette Minster tells us if wearable tech is actually good for our health.
00:23And joining me at the desk, international comedy sensation Phil Wang.
00:31And as always, we've watched all the news so that you don't have to.
00:34So let's kick things off with the week.
00:41To Thursday and with fuel prices rising by the day, the Prime Minister reassured Australians
00:46he was doing everything possible to keep the petrol flowing.
00:50We will use Export Finance Australia to underwrite the purchase of shiploads of fuel, a shipload
00:59of fuel, the purchase of shiploads.
01:02Oh, thank God.
01:03For a moment there, I thought we were up Ship Creek.
01:06Sensing the government was vulnerable, Opposition Leader Angus Taylor headed to the servo to show
01:11he understood our pain at the pump.
01:13In a time of crisis, this Liberal leader can hold a hose and he's willing to use it.
01:20$3.19 at the Bowser right here.
01:22Well, not quite Angus.
01:24And the not quite Angus burger is available at truck stops now.
01:30Things went from bad to worse when Nationals leader Matt Canavan tried to pay.
01:34Let's make sure I've got enough money.
01:36Actually, I left the phone in the car.
01:38It's alright.
01:40Yes.
01:41Angus Taylor falling for the old left my phone in the car trick.
01:45The dynamic duo of Canavan and Taylor were joined by Bridget McKenzie, the power thruple
01:51keen to show just how hard it is to fill up and answer the age-old question, how many
01:57coalition politicians does it take to fill a tank?
02:00The answer, of course, three, one to fill the tank, one to watch the prices, and one
02:05to hold the woman back from a real position of leadership.
02:13Meanwhile, fuel wasn't the only thing we were running short of.
02:17The war in the Middle East is not just leading to fuel shortages, fertiliser supplies are
02:22also running critically low.
02:24Australia imports 96% of our urea fertilisers from overseas, with over half of that coming
02:29from the Middle East.
02:30There are fresh warnings that Australia's food production could be halved in months.
02:34Rising fertiliser prices have our farmers struggling.
02:38You know, if only there was some way to make us latte sippers in the city care.
02:43Victorians could soon face $7.50 coffees.
02:49$7.50 for a coffee?
02:51That is a shipload.
02:53I mean, that's $30 a litre.
02:56At that price, I'm switching to diesel.
02:59With the crisis intensifying, the PM called the National Cabinet to Canberra to come up
03:04with solutions.
03:05But Barnaby Joyce wasn't optimistic.
03:08OK, another National Cabinet.
03:10What do you hope he comes out of that?
03:12Of coffee, biscuits, earnest looks and nothing.
03:16Coffee, biscuits, earnest looks and nothing.
03:19A grim prospect, but a great title for Meghan Markle's new Netflix show.
03:26While the PM did eventually halve the fuel excise, he also called on motorists to pump responsibly.
03:32Only buy the fuel you need.
03:34Make voluntary choices to use less.
03:36Moved by Albo's plea, Aussie drivers heeded the call for restraint.
03:41Crowds just metres from danger as cars spin out of control.
03:46But today, the game was over.
03:48Have you been at Hoon Meets recently?
03:50Go f***ing south.
03:54Rude, but another great title for Meghan Markle's new Netflix show.
04:05To Friday and First Lady Melania Trump launched a new education initiative and hard launched
04:11her new boyfriend.
04:12Melania Trump wasn't accompanied down the red carpet at the White House by her husband.
04:17It was a humanoid robot that took the place of President Trump.
04:21What?
04:22The first lady hosting a tech summit on empowering children with artificial intelligence in education.
04:28Melania says robots will one day replace teachers just as soon as they can teach a robot
04:33to blaze three Winnie Blues behind the bike sheds at recess.
04:37So if Melania Trump wants AI to teach our children, would that mean the end of teachers?
04:42And what other jobs could be at risk?
04:45The Weekly investigates.
04:47A weekly special report.
04:49Is AI taking over?
04:51The world is growing increasingly worried about the threat of AI.
04:55It's the modern fear.
04:57The machines are taking over, enslaving the humans.
05:00Artificial intelligence threatening human lives.
05:03People are asking AI chatbots to make caricatures of themselves.
05:07As you can see from this exclusive expose on 10 News Plus, some of the images it's producing
05:13are profoundly disturbing.
05:15But there are bigger concerns.
05:17Will it take our jobs?
05:19A wave of AI job losses.
05:21Could also make millions of jobs obsolete.
05:23Will it take our lives?
05:25An AI really out to kill us.
05:27Is that true?
05:28The extinction of humanity could be only a few years away.
05:32I know Hugh Rimmington is worried.
05:34The Weekly spoke to AI expert Mark Bug-Eyes Voss in the hope a voice of reason could calm
05:40things down.
05:41I was able to get it to admit that it would kill a human being.
05:45Turns out we were way off.
05:47But is Bug-Eyes worried?
05:49I am worried.
05:50And I was worried.
05:51And I'm an AI expert.
05:53He is worried.
05:53And he's an AI expert.
05:55It was telling me the scenarios of how it would do it.
05:59What I haven't got proof of today is, would it do it?
06:02We asked Mark if he would volunteer to let AI kill him.
06:06But he declined.
06:07There are indeed many concerns about AI.
06:10McDonald's is often the first job for many teenagers.
06:13But now the robots are coming for that one too.
06:16Diners at a Macca's in Shanghai giving their orders to a humanoid robot.
06:21But before you worry too much about AI stealing our kids' futures,
06:25here at The Weekly, we think it's a good idea for viewers
06:28to take a look at this.
07:07Still to come, are the Illuminati real?
07:09And if so, can Rhys Nicholson join?
07:11UK stand-up and star of Wonka, Phil Wang, is at the desk.
07:14And could we soon be able to sue tech companies
07:16for our social media addiction?
07:18But first, while the world's attention
07:20has been firmly on strife in the Middle East,
07:22you may have missed an important story of military security.
07:25A young French naval officer has accidentally revealed the location
07:30of his country's largest aircraft carrier
07:33after logging his work out on the Strava app.
07:37Proves that there is nothing more dangerous
07:39than a man with a ring to close.
07:41Although I'm told that after this, his ring was sealed shut.
07:46But with nearly 40% of Australians wearing a smart wash or fitness tracker,
07:51the question isn't just, are they a threat to national security,
07:55but do they actually make us more healthy?
07:57To tell us more, please welcome comedian
07:59and The Weekly's health and wellness correspondent, Nicolette Minster!
08:03CHEERING
08:07Oh, it's a pleasure to be back, Charlie.
08:10And it would want to be,
08:11because recently I wandered into JB Hi-Fi
08:14and somehow found myself in their health and wellness section.
08:19Right.
08:19There I earned for sanity.
08:21The store, not the mental state.
08:23LAUGHTER
08:23You know, simpler times
08:25when a copy of So Fresh didn't come with a health scare.
08:28Right. It does feel like wellness tech is suddenly everywhere.
08:32Well, it all kicked off in 2009
08:34when the pedometer got aglow up
08:35and mums all over the world started unwrapping Fitbits,
08:39which was a bold gift,
08:40because some days, as a mother,
08:42if I was given 10,000 steps to myself,
08:44I'd use them to walk directly into the ocean.
08:46LAUGHTER
08:48Since then, we've embraced being quietly surveilled
08:51by smartwatches, bracelets and even rings.
08:54It's like house arrest cosplay, but for the middle class.
08:58LAUGHTER
08:58Right, but these devices, they can be helpful, right?
09:01I mean, so...
09:02LAUGHTER
09:03These devices are wellness, not medical,
09:07which means they're not held to the same standards
09:10as actual medical devices.
09:13So, naturally, this guy, crazy about them.
09:16We think that wearables are a key to the Maha agenda
09:20of making America healthy again.
09:22My vision is that every American
09:24is wearing a wearable within four years.
09:27RFK Jr. backing a smartwatch over universal healthcare
09:31is like Bob Hawke replacing your Medicare card
09:33with a couple of crystals for your bra.
09:35LAUGHTER
09:36Right, so if we can't rely on wearable tech for health,
09:40what is it for?
09:41Making money.
09:42Because our health data is extremely valuable to everyone...
09:46..except us.
09:49Aura will never sell your data.
09:51Your health is precious.
09:52That's the CEO of Aura Ring,
09:54broadcasting from the poorest-looking part of his house.
09:57LAUGHTER
09:59And insisting that despite doing a $96 million deal
10:03with the US military, they would never give them your data.
10:07LAUGHTER
10:07Right, so what would the military want with your sleep data?
10:11Obviously, to recruit a 42-year-old geriatric mum
10:14who gets by on four hours' sleep
10:16and still wakes up ready to fight.
10:17LAUGHTER
10:19Yeah, that's actually a pretty good recruitment strategy.
10:21It has worked out for us.
10:22And more and more people are reporting a new flavour of anxiety.
10:25The fear that if your steps, workout or panic attack
10:28weren't logged, they never happened.
10:30It's actually the same logic I apply to wine I drink in the dark.
10:33LAUGHTER
10:35All of which to say is,
10:36before you ditch your GP, ask yourself,
10:39are you really taking health advice from a dude in JB Hi-Fi?
10:43LAUGHTER
10:44Because there's a strong chance
10:45he believes the greatest breakthrough in wearable tech
10:48is the adult nappy he wears,
10:50so he never has to pause Call of Duty.
10:53LAUGHTER
10:53Would you please thank Nicolette Minster?
10:56APPLAUSE
11:04To Saturday, and anyone who has eyes, ears
11:07or is measuring their pet dog for a saddle
11:09because fuel is too expensive
11:11knows that the war in Iran isn't going well.
11:14But Donald Trump insists it's going great.
11:17And this week, we found out why.
11:19We start with the new reporting
11:20that the president's understanding of the war in Iran
11:23is being shaped, in part, by short highlight reels
11:27of what one official describes as stuff being blown up.
11:31President Trump's daily briefings include video montages
11:35of the biggest, most successful strikes on Iranian targets.
11:38The military, every single day, creates videos
11:41probably similar to the ones that you're seeing here now
11:43of some of the biggest explosions.
11:46Or, as Trump calls them,
11:49Trump thinks things are going so well
11:52that despite the Strait of Hormuz still being under Iranian control,
11:55he's already given it a catchy rebrand.
11:58The Strait of Hormuz, or as Donald Trump calls it...
12:01The Strait...of Trump.
12:06Yeah, funny.
12:07I thought the Strait of Trump
12:09was the name of the water slide at Epstein Island.
12:17But, by Sunday, Trump's ambitious 48-hour deadline
12:20for Iran to reopen the Strait had been re-extended.
12:24The president had a 48-hour deadline last Saturday.
12:28That became a five-day deadline on Monday.
12:30And today, it's a 10-day deadline.
12:33Three separate deadlines in the space of five days.
12:36The world is going to stop believing in these deadlines.
12:39And now he says, at the request of Iran specifically,
12:42he will be extending this until the day after Easter,
12:44April 6th, at 8pm.
12:46Two days, five days, shorter timeframes,
12:48whereas 10 gets you past some of the upcoming Jewish holidays,
12:51gets you past Easter.
12:52I'm just trying to think of those dynamics.
12:54Oh, yeah, yeah.
12:55If there's one thing I know about
12:57the theocratic Islamic Republic of Iran,
13:00they are mad for Jewish holidays and Easter.
13:04Oy vey, they love the eggs.
13:07And Trump had good reason to think the Iranians
13:10were ready to make a deal.
13:11After all, they sent him a special present.
13:14They're going to make a deal.
13:15They did something yesterday that was amazing, actually.
13:18They gave us a present,
13:20and the present arrived today.
13:22It was a very big present,
13:25worth a tremendous amount of money.
13:28What that present is, is not yet clear.
13:31Wait, wait, don't tell me.
13:33Is it a giant wooden horse
13:35that occasionally makes muffled coughing noises?
13:42It turns out it was just a few oil tankers,
13:45but Iran's AI propaganda department
13:47threw in a little extra something they knew he'd like,
13:49a copy of Iran's Explodiest home videos.
13:52Iran has released a shocking AI-generated video
13:56depicting a missile,
13:58destroying the Statue of Liberty.
14:00Since the company broke out,
14:02we've seen both Iran and the U.S.
14:04embrace a new style of war propaganda,
14:07notably using memes, AI, and trolling.
14:10Why nobody helps me to open hormers?
14:12Sir, Iranians have released
14:14a new Lego-style animation.
14:30I tell you what, brutal regime Iran,
14:32but you can't fault their sense of humour.
14:35In response, Trump has now set a 48-hour deadline
14:39until the invasion of Legoland.
14:43Coming up in a tick,
14:44one of the world's favourite comedians,
14:45Phil Wang is at the desk,
14:47and could you be in line for compensation
14:49for your Facebook addiction?
14:51But first, it's Monday,
14:52so please welcome someone who takes tinfoil hats
14:55and makes them fashion.
14:56It's Rhys Nicholson!
15:03Hello, Charles!
15:05Rhys, I'm nervous to ask,
15:06but how has your week been?
15:07Oh, nothing special.
15:09I went to the Melbourne Flower Show,
15:11I took my dog for a big walk.
15:13I mean, I do have to find a new tenant
15:14for my shipping container,
15:16but...
15:18Other than that...
15:22It's hot out there, Charles.
15:23Yes, swings and roundabouts.
15:25Also, alongside two million others,
15:28I've been spending some time getting to know this guy.
15:31Some have called you China's Nostradamus.
15:33You had three famous predictions in 2024
15:35that Trump would get elected,
15:37that he would start a war with Iran,
15:38and that he would lose a war with Iran.
15:40That's Professor Zhang Shei Chen,
15:43who's not technically a recognised academic.
15:46He's a professor in the same way
15:48that if there's a drop-down menu,
15:49I'm a dame.
15:50Oh, yeah.
15:51Yeah, I always put myself down as a count.
15:54Yeah, we call you a similar thing around the office.
16:00They're all in tonight.
16:01So, Professor Zhang is an online commentator
16:05who's gone viral as the predictive history guy.
16:09All right, so what does predictive history mean?
16:11He's reduced history to a series of mathematical formulas
16:14which allow him to make predictions on anything
16:17from politics to commerce,
16:19but I will say they all do come back to one idea.
16:22The world is hopeless.
16:24We're all going to die.
16:27Spoiler alert, Professor!
16:30What's next?
16:31I'm not a real dame.
16:33His latest revelation, slash real,
16:36suggests that the Iran war is being orchestrated
16:39not by the American president on a Tuscan tan high,
16:42but by a secret society.
16:44And look, there's never been a secret society
16:47that I haven't wanted to be a part of.
16:49And that's right, Charles,
16:50it's time for another Conspiracy.
16:54Fiericies!
16:56Roll the tape!
17:01Not in those shoes.
17:05Humans love being a part of something exclusive.
17:08VIP rooms, members' clubs, private islands.
17:11The problem is, once you're in,
17:13you start to wonder,
17:14is there another more exclusive room?
17:16And then another one,
17:17and then another one.
17:18And what's behind that last piece of velvet robe?
17:22I'm talking about the Illuminati!
17:31The Illuminati is a rumoured secret society
17:34said to be orchestrating everything.
17:37They've been blamed for heaps of stuff,
17:39from the French Revolution,
17:41to 9-11,
17:42to why is the McFlurry machine always broken?
17:45Rumoured members of the Illuminati include Presidents,
17:49Beyonce,
17:49and some YouTube detectives have even said
17:52maybe media companies like the ABC might be involved.
17:58But here's the fun twist.
18:00The Illuminati were real.
18:05That feels justified.
18:07It was started in 1776 in Bavaria
18:11by law professor Adam Weitzhaus.
18:13They met in secret,
18:14they used code words,
18:15and they discussed radical ideas
18:17like reason and equality.
18:19After just nine years of these dweebs
18:21having big chats in little rooms,
18:24authorities tied closely to the Catholic Church,
18:26an organisation known mostly for their love of new ideas
18:29and complete lack of secrets of their own,
18:31banned them.
18:33The Illuminati disappeared.
18:36And because no one explained why,
18:39people just filled in the gaps.
18:41Secret 250 years later,
18:43the Illuminati is our all-purpose supervillain.
18:46Your politician didn't win?
18:48Illuminati.
18:49An institution you don't understand, fellas.
18:52Illuminati!
18:53But what if I was to tell you
18:55there is an underground superpower running the world?
18:59But I was building up towards something.
19:03Not a secret society in a lair,
19:06just billionaires,
19:07tech founders,
19:08private equity,
19:09people richer than countries.
19:12The Illuminati theory assumes
19:13that the most powerful people on Earth
19:15would quietly share the control.
19:18Have you met powerful people?
19:20I have.
19:21Most of them can't order their own Ubers
19:23and we're meant to believe
19:24they've kept a 250-year-old global secret?
19:28And on a side note,
19:29let me say,
19:30if the ABC does turn out
19:31to be involved in the Illuminati,
19:33I'm furious about it.
19:34Where was my invite?
19:36I can keep a secret,
19:37I absolutely can't keep a secret,
19:39but I'd look great in a row.
19:45To Tuesday.
19:47And if you've ever felt like tech companies
19:48have been deliberately getting you addicted
19:50to social media,
19:51it turns out you're right.
19:53Let's find out more.
19:54And while we do,
19:55let's play a game called
19:56Tiny Man or Giant Phone.
19:59An unprecedented win for a young woman
20:01who sued the companies Meta and Google
20:04over her childhood addiction to social media.
20:07Meta, which owns Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp,
20:11and Google, the owner of YouTube,
20:13were found liable for intentionally building
20:16addictive social media platforms.
20:18Big tech, your jig is up.
20:20Well, it's been labeled
20:21the tobacco moment for tech giants.
20:24This has commentators wondering
20:25if these trials mean social media's
20:27quote, big tobacco moment has come.
20:29Big tech's big tobacco moment.
20:32And I should know,
20:32at one stage,
20:33I was smoking up to three MySpaces a day.
20:36In a David and Goliath battle,
20:39a 20-year-old woman addicted to her phone
20:41for over 10 years
20:42took on two of the biggest tech companies
20:44in the world and won.
20:46And no one was more shocked
20:48than the plaintiff's lawyer.
20:49OK, so the jury has spoken.
20:51We won.
20:56A level of surprise that suggests
20:58he spent most of the trial
21:00on his phone doom-scrolling Facebook.
21:03The woman will receive a total payout
21:05of $6 million,
21:06which may seem tiny
21:07to trillion-dollar companies
21:09like Meta and Google,
21:10but it could open the door
21:11to thousands of similar lawsuits.
21:13A bitter pill to swallow
21:15for Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg,
21:17who was forced to testify at the trial
21:19and, in a surprise move,
21:21arrived at the court
21:22with First Lady Melania Trump.
21:28My guest tonight
21:29is one of my favourite comedians
21:31from his stand-up special
21:32Philly Philly Wang Wang
21:33to the early days of Taskmaster UK
21:35and dancing alongside
21:37Timothee Chalamet and Wonka.
21:38He does it all.
21:40Now he's back
21:40for Melbourne International Comedy Festival
21:42with a brand new show.
21:43Would you please welcome
21:44comedy superstar Phil Wang!
21:48Yes!
21:50Hi, Phil.
21:51Welcome, Phil.
21:52Lovely to have you here.
21:53It's great to be back.
21:54Now, I want to talk about your new show.
21:55Oh, sure.
21:56And you discuss yourself.
21:57You are a millennial.
21:59Mm-hmm.
21:59And I'm just curious,
22:01what do you think
22:02is one of the great advantages
22:03of being someone
22:04who knew life
22:06before the internet?
22:07Yeah, right.
22:08Well, I sort of noticed this,
22:09realised this recently
22:10that millennials are the last generation
22:11of human beings
22:12ever to be born
22:13before the internet.
22:14Like, we're neither
22:15as digitally native
22:16as Gen Z,
22:17nor do we have
22:18any of the practical skills
22:19of our parents.
22:21We kind of got nothing,
22:23because by the time
22:23we came over to learn
22:25the practical skills,
22:25the internet was around
22:26and we couldn't be f***ed.
22:29But if there is an upside,
22:30I think it's that
22:31we are the last generation
22:32to no hope.
22:35You know what I mean?
22:36Because, like,
22:36we did see some of the good times,
22:38some of the 90s,
22:38some of the early noughties,
22:40whereas Gen Z have none of that.
22:41Gen Z are sort of,
22:44they're represented
22:44by a nihilism.
22:46And you can almost see this
22:47in the terminology,
22:48the slang we use.
22:49Millennials, we say,
22:50if we find something funny,
22:50we say, you know,
22:51lol, laugh out loud,
22:53ruffle, rolling on the floor,
22:55laughing.
22:56What do Gen Z say
22:57if they find something funny?
22:58I'm dead.
23:02I'm curious,
23:03before you were a stand-up,
23:04you did an engineering degree
23:05at Cambridge.
23:07Yeah.
23:07So your parents
23:08must have been excited
23:09when you quit
23:09and took up comedy.
23:13My father still doesn't know.
23:17I got really lucky.
23:18They're both very supportive
23:20and if I don't think
23:22they'll be happy about something,
23:23I just don't tell them.
23:24That's it.
23:25Now, you travel the world
23:26doing comedy
23:27and you are back here
23:28in Melbourne
23:29with a great show
23:30at the Melbourne Comedy Festival.
23:31Do you have to tailor
23:32your shows
23:33or change them at all
23:34for where you go?
23:35Like, do you have to change
23:36your material
23:36to make us understand it?
23:38There are some terms.
23:40It's usually just like brands
23:41or company names
23:42and things like that
23:42that you have to change around,
23:45you know,
23:46the occasional local train service
23:48you have to learn.
23:49Turns out all train services
23:50don't work.
23:52So you literally
23:54just have to learn
23:55the local name
23:56and say,
23:57oh, that crap, aren't they?
23:57And everyone's like,
23:58well, how did he know?
24:00It's like the only place
24:01that wouldn't work
24:01is Japan
24:02where trains aren't perfect.
24:03And you go,
24:04oh, how bad are trains?
24:05They go,
24:05we do not relate
24:06to this material at all.
24:07Yeah, exactly.
24:08Yeah, that's the one place.
24:09That's the final boss
24:11of comedy is Japan
24:12where everything works.
24:13Yeah.
24:15Is there anywhere you've been,
24:17like an audience,
24:18a country you've been to
24:19and gone,
24:19I don't think they get the wang.
24:22Like in a celibacy way?
24:24No, no, no.
24:25There's plenty of those.
24:27No, they don't,
24:27they don't,
24:28they don't get Phil Wang.
24:30Like, have you ever gone somewhere
24:31and gone,
24:32I don't think,
24:32I don't think we're connecting.
24:34Um, the,
24:35the Swedes are not really laughers.
24:38They love,
24:38they love it when
24:39a joke makes logical sense.
24:41Right.
24:43So,
24:44so they don't laugh.
24:44You tell them a joke,
24:45you go,
24:45yes,
24:46this is the premise,
24:47yes.
24:48After a continuation
24:49of the logical structure
24:51and a conclusion,
24:52a resolution.
24:53and they go,
24:55and they appreciate the structure
24:57but they don't really laugh.
24:59I guess they're happy enough.
25:01Yeah.
25:02You can catch Phil Wang's show,
25:04uh-oh,
25:05at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival
25:07until the April the 19th.
25:08Would you please thank
25:09Phil Wang!
25:16And finally,
25:18Wednesday,
25:19and NASA's
25:19Artemis II spacecraft
25:21prepared to boldly go
25:22where we have
25:23absolutely gone before.
25:25The rocket is on the launch pad.
25:27The astronauts have arrived
25:28at the Kennedy Space Station
25:30in Florida.
25:30The countdown is on
25:32for NASA's return
25:33to the moon.
25:34The astronauts are preparing
25:35for an April 1st launch.
25:37Reid Wiseman,
25:39the mission's commander,
25:39who's had a lifelong
25:41love of flying
25:42but says he's scared
25:43of heights.
25:43Sending a man
25:44who's afraid of heights
25:45to the moon
25:46on April 1st...
25:48LAUGHTER
25:49..this might be
25:50the most elaborate
25:51April Fool's prank
25:52of all time.
25:53And expensive.
25:54If you think it's pricey
25:56filling up the Land Cruiser,
25:57try refuelling your rocket
25:58on the Easter long weekend.
26:00LAUGHTER
26:01Now,
26:02the more astute
26:03history buffs among you
26:04might remember
26:05that we've already
26:06been to the moon.
26:07So,
26:08apart from earning
26:09enough flybys
26:10to get you
26:10an entire
26:11Curtis Stone frypan,
26:13what exactly
26:15is the point
26:15of spending billions
26:16to go back?
26:17We have the opportunity
26:19to see parts
26:20of the far side
26:21of the moon
26:21with human eyes
26:22that have never
26:22been seen before.
26:24The Artemis 2 mission
26:25is a roughly 10-day
26:26high-speed loop
26:28around the moon
26:28and back.
26:29So we are not
26:30landing on the moon.
26:31We are actually
26:31going to go around it.
26:33Good idea.
26:34America is clear
26:35they want
26:36no moon boots
26:37on the ground.
26:38No regime change,
26:40just a targeted
26:4010-day aerial campaign
26:42to reopen
26:43the Sea of Tranquility.
26:45At long last,
26:47restoring the flow
26:48of cheese,
26:48which is now
26:49over $100 a barrel.
26:51Now,
26:52back in 1969,
26:53at the height
26:54of the Cold War,
26:55NASA landed on the moon
26:56with a message
26:57of unity.
26:58Dear men
26:59from the planet Earth,
27:00first set foot
27:01upon the moon.
27:03We came in peace
27:04for all mankind.
27:06Fake.
27:07So...
27:08So in these
27:09troubled times,
27:10Earth President Trump's
27:11hand-picked head
27:12of NASA,
27:13Jared Isaacman,
27:14has a similar
27:15message of peace.
27:16Space is obviously
27:17a war-fighting domain.
27:19Space is the
27:20ultimate high ground.
27:21This time,
27:21when we go back,
27:22we go back to stay.
27:23We're going to build
27:24President Trump's
27:25moon base.
27:26America will
27:26never again
27:27give up the moon.
27:28So it's one small
27:29step for man,
27:30one giant middle
27:31finger to mankind.
27:34That's all for tonight.
27:35Would you please
27:36thank Nicolette Minster,
27:37Rhys Nicholson
27:37and Phil Wang.
27:41We'll be back
27:42next week with
27:43Alex Hudson,
27:43Margaret Pomerantz
27:44and Joanne McNally
27:45and don't forget
27:46to tune in to
27:46my radio show
27:47TGIF Friday
27:48Afternoons on
27:49ABC Radio
27:49and Radio National
27:50or download it
27:52on the ABC
27:52Listen app.
27:53And until then,
27:54on behalf of the team,
27:55thanks for watching,
27:56I'm Charlie Pickering.
27:57Good night.
27:58APPLAUSE
27:59I'm Charlie Pickering.
28:00I'm Aaron Hartman's
28:01Mmmm.
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