- 4 hours ago
- #bait
#Bait S01E03 [Full Movie] [Full Story]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The End
00:00The End
00:00The End
00:01The End
00:06The End
00:10The End
00:10The End
00:24Just packing
00:42I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:46got to stick with family. Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to
00:49do with the shitstorm you created. Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole
00:53action and routine.
00:54Hmm. I reckon it will help them visualize me as Bond. Okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some
00:58people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're insane. This could cost you the role. Oh, fuck.
01:06Saju.
01:08Mommy, have you met Felicia?
01:10This is the team.
01:11This is your agent.
01:15Mommy, remember I said wait in the car and I'm gonna get the sweet tea.
01:19It's okay.
01:20Give me a ticket.
01:21Felicia.
01:22What's going on?
01:23Same as you, just babysitting Bond.
01:25Oh, that honey auntie is waiting for you.
01:27You're a disgrace.
01:44Felicia.
01:45He's got them retired.
01:46I'll just be a minute.
01:47Okay.
01:47Bye bye Felicia.
01:48Bye.
01:48Okay.
01:55Sorry.
01:56You are a black lady.
01:58I know.
02:02What the fuck is this?
02:03You tell me.
02:10You know what?
02:11I can't get into this right now.
02:12Okay, listen.
02:13None of this, none of this matters.
02:15Okay?
02:15No one reads the fucking news.
02:17However, this is a big problem.
02:20The person you assaulted, you broke his arm and now he wants an apology.
02:24Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head but now he's coming for you with 200,000
02:28followers and counting young and round your core fan base.
02:32Assaulted?
02:33This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
02:36It was a can of spray paint, Sha.
02:38Yeah.
02:38In hindsight.
02:39I mean the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:41Okay, fine.
02:41Just give him his apology.
02:42Okay, good.
02:43Alright.
02:43So how are you gonna do?
02:44Oh no.
02:45You have to apologize.
02:47On a video by end of day or he's pressing charges.
02:49Listen, it's Eid so I gotta stick with the fan.
02:52My mum usually hosts but I fucked that up this time.
02:54That's on me.
02:55I can't be dealing with this.
02:56I have to be with the fan today.
02:58I have to make it right.
02:58This is about your career, Sha.
03:00Your credibility in your community for the people that you say you're doing all of this for.
03:08Has he got more followers of me?
03:10Sha!
03:12Sha Latif here.
03:14Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
03:16I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
03:18You might have heard about it or seen it.
03:21Well, I lived it.
03:23And I want you to know that in that moment, I wasn't thinking at all.
03:26I was acting out of sheer instinct.
03:30Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
03:33And I would never take it for granted.
03:36And there's nothing more painful to me than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own
03:41community.
03:41And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way, hurts me deeply.
03:46You good, yeah?
03:46Yeah?
03:47Yeah, I'm good, yeah.
03:50So you've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:53You've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:54You've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:55Oxford educated.
03:56But no sense.
03:58Why did you attack that young man?
03:59Don't listen to him.
04:01Come.
04:01Let's take a selfie.
04:02See?
04:03And I want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power to make up for it
04:07and to make it rightful.
04:09Right?
04:10Should have won black.
04:12Hmm?
04:13It would go better with the animal villagers' gold palace.
04:17Hmm?
04:18It is my day.
04:19It belongs to all Muslims.
04:21Mummy.
04:21It's mine.
04:22And she took it.
04:23Oh.
04:23You know one thing she doesn't have?
04:25What?
04:27What?
04:27Hassan?
04:28Saleem?
04:29You golden boy.
04:31I stood Dubai.
04:32Big shot.
04:33Always trying to compete with you.
04:35Bad shot.
04:36Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
04:38Don't talk filthy.
04:42All with that?
04:44She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:46You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:48We just...
04:50Come on.
04:51You worried about what Naughty Naila thinks?
04:53Nungi Naila.
04:54Nungi Naila.
04:54Oh, my God.
04:56Nungi Naila.
04:57Nungi Naila.
04:58She always shows skin because she's got no style.
05:01Look, where is she?
05:01She's probably too busy checking herself out in the mirror
05:04to come host her own party.
05:06You're such a beautiful woman.
05:10You're so beautiful.
05:15Mmm.
05:19Tamina?
05:20You're such a beautiful woman.
05:21You're so beautiful.
05:23You're so beautiful.
05:24Hey, you could come.
05:25We've decided to co-host this year.
05:27His brother, you've made a beautiful woman.
05:29Tahira.
05:30No, but you know Naila.
05:31How is she?
05:32She doesn't do it.
05:34She doesn't do it.
05:34She doesn't do it.
05:35She doesn't do it.
05:35She doesn't do it.
05:35She doesn't do it.
05:39She doesn't do it.
05:54She's coming.
05:55Hello, ladies.
05:56Idh Mubarak.
05:58Idh Mubarak.
05:59Ah.
06:00What is my?
06:00Ah.
06:01Seed, na?
06:03Insane seat.
06:04Ah.
06:04Now he has passed.
06:05You're the eldest.
06:06No, thank you.
06:07I'm fine standing.
06:09Baba.
06:10Go you a favor.
06:11Don't tell mommy, yeah?
06:12Is that how you're going to kill us bond?
06:13By raising the blood sugar?
06:16Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
06:19May you let him go?
06:22Maybe.
06:22Yeah, maybe.
06:23Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
06:24Something with Mehra Khan in it.
06:53He's buff, na?
06:54Keith says he's gone mental.
06:56Yeah, it's fucking hot.
06:58Sorry, can you mum focus, please?
07:00This is the latest.
07:02So, this guy likes you.
07:07Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop,
07:11it's their community like ten times.
07:13It feels like you're begging it.
07:15Maybe down the brow.
07:16I don't get it. What is the problem?
07:18I like you.
07:19What's up, man? I'm 22, mate.
07:21What were you trying to get wife-ed off?
07:22Get it to me sooner rather than later.
07:25This is not going away.
07:27Hi, everyone. Shah Latif here.
07:29Now, last night at the King's Museum,
07:31a brother and I came into conflict.
07:34Now, I should not have reacted the way that I did.
07:37And the brother in question, perhaps,
07:39should not have run at me with a metal object
07:42the way that he did.
07:44Nuba is a community-led...
07:46It's not fucking community-led.
07:48The fact is, we're all in this together.
07:50And in the future, I promise to use my platform
07:52not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:57Bro?
07:57Nuba is full of...
08:00You want some chai or something?
08:03No. Nuba...
08:04Bro, we good?
08:05I'm good. Are you good?
08:06Yeah, I'm good, bro. We good?
08:07I'm good. Are you good?
08:09Yeah, I'm good.
08:09I'm good, then.
08:11Nuba, not Nuba.
08:12What are you doing?
08:12Trying to focus, man.
08:13You are distracting me.
08:15All right.
08:15Yes.
08:17Yo, they got them little laddus over there
08:18with the pink and green balls on it.
08:19You want them?
08:20Big man, please.
08:21I don't want laddus right now, okay?
08:22I just want to concentrate.
08:24Aren't you supposed to be holding Ammi's hand?
08:26Oh, yeah.
08:27Shit.
08:28In a bit, yeah?
08:29Don't bring me no laddus.
08:30Before that...
08:51My name is Salim.
09:00Salim.
09:01Salimp.
09:05Salim.
09:34Look, Mr. Zubai.
09:37Look at him, the dancing monkey, doing his mother's dirty bidding, making Russian prostitutes
09:42pregnant.
09:43Look.
09:43No, he's not, Mummy.
09:44That was a joke that I just made.
09:47Oh, look at that fresh spray.
09:50Zulfi, weakest of us all.
09:52Yeah, I'm good, man, I'm good, you know.
09:54Don't leave.
09:55Shaju, she's coming.
09:55Don't leave.
09:56Shavita, can I borrow your mummy for a minute?
09:58I need my co-host in the kitchen.
10:00Okay, we're just gonna...
10:01Okay, okay.
10:02No, no, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
10:04I need to go, let's go.
10:05Absolutely.
10:08Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay?
10:10It's the retention of the customer base after that discount period, you know?
10:14It's off the charts.
10:15People want more community-driven rideshare options.
10:17Yes, Saleem.
10:18Yes.
10:19What are you saying, bro?
10:19Yes.
10:20Look at this guy.
10:21You good?
10:21Yeah.
10:22Come, join us, man.
10:23Join us.
10:24Yeah, I got you some loaders, bro.
10:26Thank you, thank you.
10:27That's how I never got your number.
10:29How you been?
10:29I've been good, bro.
10:30Yeah?
10:31You've been breaking shit.
10:32What do you mean by that?
10:35Glass ceilings.
10:37Try it, man.
10:37Try it, you know?
10:38And I got his arm.
10:40It's just a fracture.
10:42Hey, just to bring this back to what we were talking about before you got here.
10:44Yeah.
10:45You know, our number of drivers are growing by the day.
10:47We'll be in all key five bars by June, so...
10:50Muba!
10:50Sick idea, innit?
10:52I've been there from day one, I remember.
10:53Bro, I'm so proud of this guy.
10:54Gus Smith, so proud.
10:55And you know what's amazing?
10:56He's always been an entrepreneur.
10:58If anything, he just went from selling grams to Instagram.
11:05Just out of interest, what was the...
11:06What's your credit situation with the criminal record and everything?
11:10No problems whatsoever.
11:11No issues.
11:12And just for clarity, I didn't go inside for selling mall.
11:15It's not.
11:16It's just a violent disorder.
11:17It was.
11:18It was self-defense, to be honest with you.
11:19In a way.
11:20He's a ride or die and he was there for me.
11:21Any credit issues though?
11:23No credit issues because I'm going all in with everything that I've got.
11:26Right?
11:26So if you need any credit, if you need financing, just talk to me.
11:30Sorry, Judd.
11:30I was on the impression we were coming in seed round rather than sort of series A.
11:35You see this conversation here?
11:36This is in fact the closest he's been to the business.
11:40Right?
11:41In fact, I'll be honest with you.
11:42It's too close.
11:43Okay.
11:43Give me back my dildos then.
11:47Even for me personally, the most important quality about Mooba is in fact the quality of the relationships.
11:55We're not just there for them when we want.
11:57Because that's bullshit.
11:58That's fake.
12:00Get the fuck off me, bro.
12:02I don't know.
12:05And anyway, I've always had a passion for customer service.
12:08That's my thing.
12:08That's one thing I picked up in Dubai.
12:10That's what we do best.
12:11Hospitality.
12:12That's our culture.
12:12One might say the Muslim way of doing business.
12:16I love the idea.
12:17Gonna present it to the guys.
12:19See what they say.
12:19Well, you're taking this...
12:21You're trying to get investment from Dubai?
12:25Yeah.
12:26Okay.
12:26Yeah.
12:27You been?
12:28No.
12:29No, I'm just saying, you know, Dubai works for people with the...
12:31You know, all like...
12:32With the...
12:33But, I mean, what the fuck's this guy gonna do in Dubai, mate?
12:35He ain't gonna let you in, bro.
12:37You don't wanna go there, mate.
12:38I'm all in, yeah?
12:39Yeah.
12:39Remember that.
12:43He was disrespectful.
12:44He referred to your quiff like that.
12:45There was no need.
12:47It looks good.
12:48Shah, got your second apology.
12:50Yeah, that's not gonna work.
12:52First of all, what was up with that background?
12:54If you post that, you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich arsehole.
12:58Also, you forgot to say sorry again.
13:01What the...
13:02First class intazam kiya, Naila.
13:04Hmm.
13:05Sano se tums si isi kha.
13:07Next year, Edis back at yours, na?
13:08No, absolutely, yes.
13:10Very kind of you to step in this year, Naila.
13:13Tahira, boora mat maano.
13:15Sab kush teek hai, karme?
13:19Huh, kyu?
13:20No.
13:21No, nothing.
13:22It's because, uh...
13:24I was watching Shaanju and I thought...
13:28I worry for him.
13:29For all of you.
13:30It's so much pressure.
13:32That's very kind of you to worry.
13:34I see a bit of your sister in him.
13:44Does Shaanjan have someone you can talk to?
13:47He has me.
13:48Rukaiya had you too.
13:50But she needed more help, na?
13:52And she doesn't know anything.
13:54She doesn't know anything.
13:55Naila, please.
13:57It's all good.
13:58My son is going to be the next James Bond.
14:01We all couldn't be more proud.
14:07It's okay to talk about these struggles now.
14:09Really.
14:13It's all good.
14:14It's fast glass.
14:16It's okay for you to relax now.
14:23It's okay.
14:28It's okay for you.
14:30Come on.
14:30Hold on.
14:34We're ready.
14:35After a trip you left.
14:39Oh thanks.
14:39Yes, it's okay for you.
14:40It's okay.
14:42Go ahead.
14:43See you there.
14:43The house is a place.
14:43No one can have it.
14:43Yeah, it's okay.
14:46I know you.
15:12Shah, we need that apology.
15:14We're running out of time.
15:15I've literally written it out for you.
15:17Just find a quiet, neutral room.
15:20Record it and send it back now, before it's too fucking late, OK?
16:07Can we please not do this in front of Shah?
16:09I'm chill.
16:10I'm not going to tell anyone.
16:10Why don't I come here?
16:11Can we not do this in front of Shah?
16:12I came here for you.
16:14But I never asked you to, did I?
16:15But I asked me to.
16:16I never...
16:16Calm down.
16:18I never fucking asked you to.
16:19And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
16:21This is the whole problem.
16:21So just to clarify, you didn't come in to see Zilfie then for the thing?
16:24No.
16:25Yes.
16:25Does he know, by the way?
16:26Oh, fuck's sake.
16:27Well, yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
16:29I'm not going to say anything.
16:29I've got your back.
16:30I've got your back.
16:32Look, we don't have to tell anyone.
16:34Let's just be real about what this is, because this is something, right?
16:38Me and you both know it.
16:39What does that even mean, bro?
16:42You live a million miles away, okay?
16:44You have a whole life.
16:45You have fucking house keys, car keys, so many keys, okay?
16:49I have one key.
16:50I can give you keys.
16:51I don't want your keys, okay?
16:53I want mine.
16:54Yo, can I just step in here for a minute and offer maybe a different perspective
16:56from my own more mature experience, yeah?
16:59I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
17:02All right?
17:03All right.
17:04Now, let's see.
17:05Let's say you've been texting.
17:06There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand.
17:11All right?
17:12Yeah?
17:12You can relate, right?
17:13You send a message, a heartfelt one.
17:15Instead of it going green, it goes grey.
17:20What does that mean to you?
17:21It means you're blocked.
17:24Fuck off, really.
17:25Yeah.
17:27Let me just show you this.
17:28Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
17:29Can I show you this quickly?
17:30No, no, no.
17:30Oi?
17:31Don't say anything to anyone.
17:33I'm chill.
17:35Saleem, yeah?
17:40He's not fucking chill.
17:48With Saigon, who will lead the prayer?
17:50Pasha?
17:51Okay.
17:52Well, he resides beautifully, but I think I should lead.
17:56How will you?
17:57Seated?
17:57I won't be seated.
17:58Why?
17:59Think about it.
17:59Let someone else lead.
18:01Listen, you ass-wipes.
18:03I can run circles around you idiots.
18:05I will lead.
18:13By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond, an icon of the white establishment, Shah Latifah's
18:19exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction.
18:21And so he joins a long line of brown men who think that by becoming our oppressor, he's
18:26somehow liberating all of us.
18:28And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic to look more white.
18:51Go ahead.
18:52Come on.
18:53Hey.
18:54Shah Latifah here.
18:56I was involved in an incident last night at the Kings Museum that was both unfortunate
19:00and avoidable and i'm deeply sorry
19:03you fucking pathetic
19:07bismillahirrahmanirrahim
19:10alhamdulillahirrabbilalamin
19:11sharlateef here
19:12last night at the king's museum i
19:15fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object
19:17and apparently i'm the one who has to apologize
19:25hi sharlateef here
19:26literally nothing to apologize for
19:28trying to save my career and my life
19:30so fuck you and your little tiktok
19:32you little
19:37some yonah uleman hamidah
20:04hello
20:07yeah hi is this sid uh yeah hi hi this is sharlateef
20:13is it actually yeah it is actually but i just want to say i am so so sorry for what
20:22happened
20:23yesterday no excuses i was bang out of order i just don't know what came over me i really hope
20:31you can find it in in your heart to please forgive me
20:36yo i appreciate this man i really do i was gonna call my lawyers um but then the fact you
20:44called man oh
20:45bro he's been he's been eating me up the whole day i can't tell you how much this means man
20:49legit
20:52well do you mind just sending me what you just said
20:56like in a recording like in a recording sorry i need the engagement bro right i mean i i guess
21:04so
21:05nice ran appreciate it all right oh and thanks for the follow mate just remember keep the vid under 90
21:11for the algorithm yet
21:16okay
21:36yeah what happened he fell
21:38yeah
21:38well i wasn't praying on a chair already
21:41oh you want to sit down
21:42yeah come on
21:43easy easy
21:44about how's your breathing okay
21:46you okay huh why didn't you sit him down
21:48but now you want to be involved
21:49what the fuck's that supposed to make i'm doing something inside
21:51you're for yourself don't come up me
21:52you always fucking want to be the hero and you're never around
21:54all right
21:54all right
21:55come down mate
21:56huh baba
21:57is anyone getting any water
21:59yeah
22:00uncle do you want to get a blanket or something
22:04what
22:05are you good bro
22:07bro are you good
22:08are you dumb
22:10he's a fucking diabetic
22:11and you're giving him boxes of sweets
22:13shabash bit up
22:14all right all right
22:26all right
22:26all right
22:26all right
22:26all right
22:27all right
22:27all right
22:38you can't lie
22:39you can't lie it
22:39he's a leech man
22:40he's been leeching off me my whole life
22:42why are you now
22:43you're trying to leech off this dickhead
22:44bro he doesn't care about your shitty ideas
22:46he's trying to chirps your little sister
22:47what
22:48only chirping
22:48i love her
22:49all right
22:50what the fuck man
22:51are you fucking are you mad
22:53listen don't listen to him he's lost the fucking plot
22:55he's been chatting to a pig's head in the freezer
22:56what
22:57what freezer
22:57in the garage and he's been talking to it
22:59you're talking to a pig's head
23:00what if i have
23:01what if i have
23:02what if i have better listener than any of you lot
23:03well that's what happens when you're related to you guys
23:05i'm not the first family member to lose my mind
23:07hey
23:07he's not
23:10chalo shaju
23:13why are you
23:13why are you saying nikal jau to me
23:15no no
23:15i'm asking why is he saying that to me
23:17what did i do
23:17what did i do
23:18i'm trying to fucking make a difference
23:19i'm not just sat there
23:20fucking complaining about everything
23:21well you lot would judge me
23:22huh
23:23why are you fucking touching me
23:24don't touch me
23:25shh
23:26i'm trying to change the world
23:27all right
23:27so anyone doesn't look at you
23:29and think you're some
23:30fucking worthless stinking
23:31peter baggy
23:32look at me
23:33get the fuck out of here
23:34voce
23:34i've got a problem am i
23:36she blames you for what happened to your mum bro
23:38shut up
24:06oi
24:08Oh
24:10Oh
24:11Oh
24:14Oh
24:15Oh
24:17Oh
24:18Oh
24:18Oh
24:18Oh
24:18Oh
24:22Oh
24:22Oh
24:22Oh
24:22Oh
24:22Oh
24:23Oh
24:23Oh
24:23Oh
24:49I love you
24:57Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
25:24.
25:54.
26:24.
26:24.
26:24.
26:25.
26:25.
26:25.
26:25.
26:25.
26:25.
26:25.
26:29.
26:29.
26:29.
26:29.
26:29.
26:30.
26:30.
26:31.
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