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#fullmovie #engsub #tvseries #trending2026 #dramaseries #romancemovies #fullhd #LOL: Last One Laughing UK - Season 2 - Episode 05: The Seagull and the Frankfurter

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Transcript
00:02We'll be back.
00:36We've got Bob Mortimer's Joker coming up.
00:39I am so delighted I'm not in that room for this.
00:43We can just enjoy it.
00:44This could be a problem for people.
00:46He's equal to him, isn't he? I fear him.
00:49Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome on stage Mr Graham Lister.
00:54Not ready for this at all.
01:01You're welcome.
01:10My name's Graham Lister, ladies and gentlemen.
01:13It's your privilege to be entertained by me this afternoon.
01:16I know doctors, dentists, architects
01:20are recently parked in the same park and ride as an anaesthetist.
01:26We're not fucking about here.
01:28Do you understand?
01:38Oh, no.
01:40Don't own goal it, Bob.
01:48It's just loud.
01:53You got a problem, son?
01:56You got a problem, son?
01:57No, absolutely not, no.
01:58Yeah, you got a face like a Dalek's penis.
02:01You don't mind me saying.
02:05i'll have you know my next door neighbor but one yeah has access to agricultural poisons
02:16behave yourself
02:19i'd like to present for your entertainment an item that i'm calling lard for laughs
02:26i'll extract two laughs from lard by forcing the lard through the face of mr jimmy car i feel weirdly
02:39honored
02:41do you have a problem son no maybe i do
02:53oh no
02:59i will force the lard through jimmy car's face whilst extending the pronunciation of the vowel a
03:07it's two laughs
03:25look at david
03:38lard
03:41lard for laughs ladies and gentlemen
03:45oh mel's face secondly for your entertainment i would like to tell you about a very unusual incident
03:52that occurred at costco in croydon i was there with my pet seagull ruth
04:00shopping for apricots we wanted a big catering size tin why wouldn't we why wouldn't we want catering
04:09we love our apricots i have a keyboard behind here it's powered by success represented by the trophy
04:16obviously and um nourishment represented by the mango the mango
04:29so i was with ruth at costco to buy the apricots and uh we had hot dog each before entering
04:38the shop
04:39and then at the far end of the store that was mango at the far end of the store we
04:46spotted a large catering
04:48tin of apricots on the top shelf must have been 20 feet can you imagine 20 feet high
04:55let's have some music as they tell you what then occurred
05:01so i clambered up on some crates of sunny delight and some warsaw packed
05:10cases of powdered milk as i clambered up to the top shelf with ruth on my shoulder i reached up
05:19to the tin of apricots and sadly fell and this song illustrates what occurred during that fall
05:29mangoes mangoes oh my god
05:47oh no no do you get me do you get me
05:59oh
06:04thank you ladies and gentlemen i hope you've been entertained
06:16shit
06:19tricky times guys tricky times very very tricky i think for me the moment when a the frankfurter
06:25came out of the seagull's mouth coming out of the seagull's mouth that was very difficult who was it
06:30okay that was definitely a laugh
06:35i'm okay who knows
06:38i'm okay who knows
06:38someone's gone
06:40bob bob
06:41bob edge
06:41bob
06:42bob
06:42oh no
06:42oh no
06:43hey well thanks for watching guys
06:44oh
06:45that was
06:46that was a ruddy privilege
06:49well i mean of course bob took someone out reigning champion and all
06:53doors
06:54i mean of course
06:54oh
06:54oh
06:55oh
06:56oh
06:56oh
06:56it might be me team it might well be me
07:01oh my god you're sitting down like a human
07:04relax jimmy
07:05that looked uh incredibly tough
07:07that was insane very difficult is the card red or yellow
07:13well let's take a look oh my god this is so tense
07:17i would like to tell you about a very unusual incident that occurred at costco in croydon
07:24i was there with my uh pet seagull ruth
07:31not diane okay
07:34there's a red card that's a fair cop oh my god
07:38i'm so sorry you've got to come with me oh my god i can't cope bye
07:41bye everyone bye
07:43well there diane
07:46doors i mean that was harsh you did very very well i'm glad it was bob that took me out
07:51though
07:51yeah that felt pretty special it seems fair the seagull called ruth that's what did it
07:56don't know why ruth is a funny name for a seagull
08:00diane morgan everyone
08:03you did so well well done
08:07she did laugh
08:10oh team five of us left
08:13i had 20 quid on you to win i thought you were just i thought you were absolutely well my
08:19money's
08:19on sam look at him he's not laughable in fairness i don't think sam understands a lot of what people
08:24are saying
08:27so it's a red card for diane and she's out like what's the phrase out like a hot dog from
08:33a seagull's
08:34mouth yeah that's it you'll notice uh that bemi is not here bemi isn't feeling well so she's she's
08:40left the control room oh bless her i think uh suppressing laughter is probably quite hazardous to
08:48one's health i mean gutted that i missed the rest of the game but i am feeling much better now
08:52so
08:53let's restart the game oh here we go okay
09:03maizey who do you think it's going to win i think this is sam's all day all day i mean
09:07romesh is very very good at this i think it's going to be mel
09:11i mean because mel's laughing face is rock solid yeah she can attack because then she just does that
09:18yeah yeah do you throw down you get into the video games what's your relationship with that medium
09:23it's passed but very strong at one point do you remember when the resident evils came out
09:28yeah used to do all the resident evils i once came back from a gig everybody was asleep in the
09:33house
09:33i started playing that and then i got so freaked out i didn't even i was too scared to even
09:38switch the
09:38console off i just left the controller on the floor and i went to bed they're getting very comfortable
09:43with each other in there so i'm going to send in the show's intimacy coordinators natasha and ellie
09:50i used to like bloody hell did anyone else have to enter through a hatch we've been there since
09:5710am there's a door over there i'm sorry but that's not okay right i'm sorry i feel sick i feel
10:03physically sick thank you we're listening and we're focusing thank you we are intimacy coordinators yeah
10:10okay do you know what that is so intimacy coordinators we're hired by the show to come
10:14to very toxic work environments a little bit like this we're here to make sure you're all feeling as
10:19safe and comfortable and respected as possible because we all know the tv industry can be a little
10:24bit pervy carry on as you are we're just going to be floating around and we're going to pick you
10:30off
10:30one by one to have a little one-on-one just to see that you're all feeling okay no this
10:34is bad this is
10:35bad for me they're like two of the most talented character performers around
10:40romesh you're leaving now but we're actually we're going to start with you my darling you're okay my
10:43love i was in a lot of trouble i was saying to her when i came in i'm a giggler
10:48i giggle
10:48non-stop yeah so i wouldn't last 10 seconds in here but um at the moment i'm fine because
10:54quite a few of my family members died last week sorry to hear about your family thank you so much
11:04you're the first person that said that's me has he got his parent here they accused me of being a
11:11child even though i am certainly of edge and have even been to nightclubs we weren't sure that you
11:18might not know what intimacy is um do you know what sex is yeah i think i do just to
11:24sort of let
11:25you know so the scientific explanation is um when one organ one private organ welcomes the other one
11:30within it so um if it's a man and woman the vagina welcomes the penis within it if it's two
11:36men um
11:37the one penis welcomes the other penis within it and if it's two women it's actually more of a pat
11:42amongst less than a welcoming within you're quite both quite close if you don't mind me
11:49is that okay that's okay we want this to feel safe so um first things first ramesh and there
11:55are no wrong answers no nothing to be ashamed question number one first nice and simple would
11:59you consider yourself a pervert you think about it well no i don't want to just answer straight
12:10away so i would not consider myself a pervert no really okay god i had you down as one of
12:15the
12:15dangerous ones interesting okay so on a scale of one to ten how aroused are you right now like two
12:22good that's good that's that's a good answer how about if i do this
12:30is that what is that everything you're doing yeah yeah still two i'd say okay is there any smutty
12:36or naughty language or words you yourself would rather not hear or are offended by
12:39i don't like a lot of the sort of slang terms for female genitalia okay okay well actually that's
12:46interesting because innuendo is actually okay in the workplace it's a fun safe way of expressing
12:51what you think without being too smutty so for me i like to describe my area as the mouth of
12:57a
13:05screaming seal
13:05was that a laugh that was a cough genuinely you weren't covering a laugh with a cough
13:09do you have to be honest at this point i'm honest
13:13and you could describe your areas um don't know cheese baguette wrinkled leather pipe
13:30that was the closest i came to getting a card without getting one
13:34that was horrific thank you so can we have you please can we have the child here are you okay
13:39darling it's a funny way of referring to him i must say i noticed that yes that amused me
13:46does your mum know you're here yes she does is she okay with that yeah okay how have you been
13:51not
13:52good not good i've been in that hatch for about since 10 30. you've been in the hatch the whole
13:57time though yeah it's been incredibly dry they've treated us incredibly badly industry is so barbaric
14:03it is exactly and that's why we're here you know i just got asked to host junior naked attraction
14:06no you can't do that that's not okay that's not oh my god he's gonna break them so how's anyone
14:17in the house smacked you nothing like that has happened to me and um has jimmy carl touched you in
14:23any way he's touched me by staying on top for what is it 40 years in the in the business
14:28i love that
14:29i love that that's touched me david david can we borrow you please i like sofa chat oh i don't
14:39think mel's gonna stand up well to this so we've been observing from our little hatch quite a lot of
14:44sexual tension between you two my rules we thought maybe because you're two both part of double acts
14:49and you're without your other half you've maybe been drawn to each other in a sexual way we have we
14:54we have had sex three or four times okay in the in the locker room was it a close set
15:01locker three
15:01we used alan's sausage well that we used to drag me into it because we know it can be a
15:09little bit
15:09awkward to discuss sexual fantasies um what's your sexual fantasy i'd like to know yeah um okay i don't
15:16mind saying this in front of you i don't mind not listening older man much much older um the older
15:22the
15:23better i'd say and um i'm in a bowling alley and um we're doing everything but if you understand
15:28what that means and um when i climax i shout strike all right everyone okay we're just going to wrap
15:43up
15:43now we've you've done really really well i will say that studies show that one in three people are
15:48perverts so there is at least one or two of you in here so good luck can i open up
15:53your hatch for
15:53you ladies thank you so much if you wouldn't mind i think you came through here didn't you
15:57yeah thank you so much lovely to see you
16:10sam come back
16:21david can you do geordie absolutely no that is like no way howie give it a gore howie give it
16:29a gore
16:30i'd love to come to geordie with you give it a proper go let's gun and do the medals bra
16:35bob
16:36aye you're right you sound like you're speaking sounds like you're speaking in tongues there mel i've
16:40lost it how are they going to get these to laugh i don't think anyone's going to go yeah okay
16:47this
16:47might help i've got a plan mel they've got oh hello it's the sofa jobs bob david you're going to
16:56go head
16:56to head in a special challenge bob you're going to be david's career advisor you need to get to
17:02know him find out his strengths and weaknesses and try and match him to the perfect job david
17:07your life is in bob's hands please take your places on the stage good luck guys come on team
17:14you've got this the game will start and end when the bell rings you don't mind if i jump on
17:19that
17:19come on just tonight sorry come on sam how old are you david i'm i'm just 15. you must be
17:27very
17:27nervous then at that age i am i'm i did okay in my gtse's well just relax thank you because
17:33i'm your
17:33friend trying to you are you're not a careers advisor yeah but think of me as a friend okay you're
17:41a stout
17:41lad have you ever thought of uh working down the farm the the farm the sewage works oh i see
17:55yeah
17:55because i'm so fat
18:00no because you're stout you think i'd be good for the the work of a of a sewage works does
18:05it appeal to
18:06you in any way whatsoever i'd like to work in the creative industries please i'm a careers officer
18:11i know nothing of the creative industries do you like digging have you ever buried mud
18:21no is it something that interests you though how would you tell where the buried mud
18:26started and the mud you're burying the mud in ended
18:32exactly it's a job that never ends it's a job for life when you were young did you and and
18:38your
18:38mother or father said what would you like to be when you grow what did you say i am young
18:43and i
18:43said to them yesterday i want to work in the creative areas and they said never mind that go and
18:49see
18:50this careers advisor and try to think of him as a friend would you like to design tight trousers
19:00yes i would actually ah yeah now we're getting somewhere because you know
19:06the uniforms down at the ship farm are getting increasingly tight
19:13are they trying to make the ship farmers appear sexier
19:17a little bit sexier a little bit futuristic but the job's the same and it's a job for life
19:24so i think this has been a great success we'll send you down the ship farm thank you very much
19:32i mean a job with a ship farm the head-to-head with david just talking to david is quite
19:39intimidating
19:40and he pulled me up on the accusation that he was stocky he is stocky let's put that on record
19:48if in like if he was in like a medieval army he'd have been an archer a little stocky archer
19:54he knows it
19:56anyone for dessert something a bit sweet what you offering i've actually made something that's nice
20:03i'll get some dessert absolutely i'm really proud of my biscuits and actually i'd forgotten about them
20:09because you do you sort of forget oh my god i've still got something in the locker thought i've got
20:14to get these in subtly and i think they did actually believe because i just said oh anyone fancy
20:18something sweet drama school training which i don't have i failed to get into drama school
20:27oh it's a little something this looks good little sweetie it's a nice tin they're vegan there's no
20:34nuts or anything like that how do you know i'm going to try because i made them are these yours
20:39yeah
20:39yeah thank you mel no worries lovies wait these are for real what do you mean i was sure this
20:43was a
20:44trick i think so david yeah those are a bit hairier aren't they some hairier sometimes well
20:54sometimes my biscuits can get a bit hairy what i'd done was three normals on the top then there's
21:05a greaseproof paper and then we reveal the hairy biscuits quite a lot of hair there what mel why am
21:13i eating this that is oh look they're covered in hair oh this one doesn't look so bad no that's
21:20quite hairy what do you think that one's all right sorry i think those are fine i think this one's
21:24okay i think i can eat round it rom hair free or whiff of a hair i get what you
21:34were doing with the
21:35hairy biscuits but then to actually offer people biscuits and then we start eating them and then
21:40underneath there's a hairy layer i didn't know about that that batch had gone a bit wrong i thought
21:45romesh was quite offended by the fact that he'd eaten a biscuit that was adjacent to a hairy biscuit
21:51we'll never know where those hairs came from did you know romesh that alan sugar is actually
21:5830 percent candarell bob don't do this to me man don't do this man none of them are going to
22:06go are
22:07is sam ever going to do his joker he's not done his joker okay all right all right hello last
22:19one
22:19laughing uh could you ask sam to do his joker no problem thank you yes yes yes sam could you
22:27do your
22:27joker please hey guys get ready you're about to see a show what the hell could it be might just
22:36pull his teeth out through his arsehole while sam's getting ready i've got a little surprise
22:42what does that mean i don't know romesh please go to the locker room and open the utilities cupboard
22:52hairy biscuit bob do you want one of my hairy biscuits or not i did quite like the look of
22:58them
23:06oh hi romesh no no no come back come back can romesh come to the utilities locker and then i
23:15do that
23:15and then this is jimmy car glory hole looking at me look your manager won't let me anywhere near you
23:20park i want to pitch you some ideas for shows like you know how you're always doing shows with your
23:25mum
23:25right i just thought it'd be cool if you did a show with my mum it's just you sort of
23:30traveling
23:30around with an urn i've got another great idea jimmy and romesh's cannon fodder we travel around
23:40bit but everywhere we go we're fired from a cannon
23:50what about jimmy and romesh's naked attraction
23:56we take off our clothes and see if we're attracted to each other
24:15oh hello sailor something's going on there i think something happened in there what the
24:20frick that was very intense and quick yeah maybe it all played out in that room
24:30what happened roms i'm done what oh man
24:39hello that was bullshit man how's that bullshit i just had some ideas for shows
24:45i mean look can i be honest with you i thought what happened to me was unfair
24:48there's jokers there's head to heads nowhere did it say jimmy car will emerge as a surprise from a
24:55cupboard let's have a look at the replay all right all right last idea break jimmy and romesh's
25:00naked attraction we take off our clothes and see if we're attracted to each other
25:08that's mean oh that's really hard
25:16that's really hard oh dear with the little face in the circle it was like it was like a sniper
25:23it was
25:24so out of order yeah oh man rom come with me see you um see you and then there were
25:32four okay
25:32oh yeah yeah see you soon love you brother see you soon take care good luck doors
25:39good luck see you come on raj i i fully concede that was a dick move it was a dick
25:44move i'm gonna
25:45say this january jimmy car doesn't like me he's a prick put that in the trailer
25:52oh well done well thank god romesh laughed otherwise i would have been forced into phase two
26:06of the glory hole item okay i think we're all in for a little treat okay yes this is sam's
26:14joker
26:14it's sam's joker let's restart the game let's laugh please i don't know if we're allowed
26:19a little laugh we're not now we were can't imagine what you're gonna do honestly i think we could
26:28all have a hundred guesses and none of us would know we're off all is well with a damn good
26:33laugh yes
26:34oh my god here we go oh my lord hello what is this
26:58now listen here today's the day i've invited father percival around for a cup of tea and i'm
27:05going to have to ask you to behave father percival cup of tea father percival is a man of the
27:11cloth
27:11an important man you're gonna have to keep your beak shut remember last week when i stubbed my toe
27:19i cannot have you repeating any of the foul language i uttered in error as it would make him very
27:26very
27:27shocked promise you must because if father percival were to hear such things i may be moved to another
27:34diocese so you must promise me big shot promise coming father percival now you keep your beak shut and i'll
27:47bring you cuttlefish galore father toby trust you are well what a beautiful bird can he speak
27:58not usually he mostly just sits there being very polite god i'm tired i was up all night
28:06fucking these two ladies from the parish i beg your pardon they both were biddos and they have
28:16two fucking hughes bazookas father percival
28:37i could have watched a bit more of that yeah i could have it's brilliant yeah first vicar was fabulous
28:44i nearly went in that one with the first vicar he was very droll i was okay with sam as
28:51a bird
28:52it kind of seemed yeah of course sam's a bird nothing unusual nothing to see here really
28:58i like the term bazookas bazookas was excellent well it feels like it's wrong because bazookas are sort of
29:05that they're more phallic aren't they well bosoms that go do such bosoms exist outside yeah yeah yeah
29:11they do would you like to fire like an rpg or bazooka yes i'd like to would you fire a
29:17vicar or
29:17just a mattress or something i'd fire randomly bob good possibly in the leatherhead area nice
29:28oh mel's playing mel is not going out without a fight i think mel is a silent assassin yeah i
29:34think
29:34she is so what's what has been happening i may applaud you though really was that okay i just i
29:45heard it was okay no thank you yeah that's nice you're good as a bird i liked you have good
29:51legs oh
29:52thanks david not realistically avian which is a good thing in legs is he on a sedative he's so
29:59dazed sam and he's like one of those pigeons that flies into a patio doors okay we're running out
30:06of time i'm going in you're going in iron man can iron up to 10 shirts in five minutes
30:21doors we've only got 40 minutes left by that time i thought no one was ever going to laugh again
30:26so we're going to go sudden death going to sudden death i felt okay this is a proper contest if
30:32you
30:32laugh you're out okay oh wow the stakes are high if anyone laughs it's a red card oh god
30:43tune in next week for another crazy episode
30:49do it in a rap way david that was in a rap way
30:54david have you ever dropped a bible you should have asked that six hours ago this thing on do you
30:59want to have a waltz with me bob i don't know what's going on this makes a lot more sense
31:07it's extremely funny sam's going to try and finish him off it's come down to this
31:12you've both played buh-bye an incredible game no oh my god
31:46it's
31:48it's
31:52it's
31:54it's
31:54it's
32:05it's
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