- 2 hours ago
Full Episode of Swapped Bodies with My Secret Crush
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01Bolt.
00:00:02This experiment needs to be perfect.
00:00:06What you should be worried about, Denise, is who's taking you to prom.
00:00:09That's tomorrow night, just in case you forgot.
00:00:11Let me use this amulet to manifest the perfect man.
00:00:16Those crystals are ridiculous.
00:00:30Listen up, I got something to say.
00:00:32It worked!
00:00:33Well, well.
00:00:34If it isn't dorky, Denise, and your little science projects.
00:00:38Oh, make yourself useful. Hold this.
00:00:43Nope. No, that wasn't it.
00:00:46How are you?
00:00:51Ah, got him again.
00:00:53It's too easy.
00:00:54Look, the pool's closed today, okay?
00:00:55So we gotta use the gym for some dry land drills?
00:00:57Tomorrow is swim team captain trials, and I gotta be in tip-top shape.
00:01:00So?
00:01:01Can't get any of your nerd on me.
00:01:03You know what I mean?
00:01:03So?
00:01:04You two should make like a tree and get out of here.
00:01:07All muscle, no brains.
00:01:09What'd you say to him?
00:01:10Look, Billy, the science lab's leaking, so we need to be in here.
00:01:13Do I look like I can?
00:01:14Is that alien vomit?
00:01:17Hey, hey, hey!
00:01:18Don't touch that! It's a very delicate compound!
00:01:20No, it's so delicate!
00:01:21You're kidding, you should hand it over to me, guys.
00:01:22Can we seriously get your beautiful manly hand off of that?
00:01:25Well, now the gym is actually mine, Denise!
00:01:26No, it's my lab!
00:01:28Fine, have it!
00:01:29Ah!
00:01:30Oh!
00:01:35Oh!
00:01:37Oh!
00:01:38Oh!
00:01:39Oh!
00:01:39Oh!
00:01:40Oh!
00:01:40Oh!
00:01:41Oh!
00:01:42Oh!
00:01:43Oh!
00:01:43Oh!
00:01:45Oh!
00:01:47Oh!
00:01:50Oh!
00:01:51Oh my God, Denise!
00:01:52I told you you can't get any of your nerd on me!
00:01:55Oh!
00:01:55Oh, you're so gonna regret this!
00:01:56Hey, relax, guys!
00:01:58Mercury's in retrograde, and it's making us act like a bunch of deranged flamingos.
00:02:01Fine.
00:02:03But I'm gonna remember this.
00:02:04Such a jerk!
00:02:06Oh!
00:02:06Such a jerk!
00:02:07Oh!
00:02:08Bye, Denise!
00:02:10The only reason you make so much fun of her is because you were obviously in love with her.
00:02:16Denise!
00:02:17She wishes.
00:02:18Denise, wait!
00:02:22Bro, I got it all on my camera.
00:02:24No, wait, let's see.
00:02:24My left foot!
00:02:26Ow!
00:02:27Oh, snap!
00:02:27Oh, my God, Kenny, this is crazy!
00:02:30That's so bad.
00:02:31Oh, this is embarrassing, man.
00:02:32She's gonna probably be alone her entire life, her and her 950 cats.
00:02:37I was looking for you all day.
00:02:39You okay?
00:02:40I'm effing humiliated.
00:02:42No one likes me.
00:02:43That's not true, Denise.
00:02:44I like you.
00:02:45You don't get it.
00:02:46I mean, look at you.
00:02:47You're handsome.
00:02:48You're cool.
00:02:49You've been at school for like six years.
00:02:51Everyone likes you.
00:02:52It's been seven years, but I'm cool as shit, but that's because I'm gay.
00:02:56That's why.
00:02:57I just wish I was someone else.
00:02:59Oh, Denise!
00:03:01Hey, peace out, Denise.
00:03:06I can fix this.
00:03:08I can fix this.
00:03:10I can fix this.
00:03:20Fuck.
00:03:22Incoming!
00:03:27Paris!
00:03:28Lights out!
00:03:30Denise!
00:03:32I'm about to make all your wishes come true.
00:03:35I wish I wasn't such a nerd.
00:03:37I'm so glad I'm not a nerd.
00:03:40A-R-O-M-E, that's true!
00:03:44A-R-O-M-E, that's true!
00:03:48A-R-O-M-E!!!
00:03:51balcon- bend that you don't have a scar!
00:03:59He might see me!
00:04:23Oh my god
00:04:27I'm a woman
00:04:29Oh
00:04:31Oh
00:04:33Oh
00:04:33Oh
00:04:34Please
00:04:36Please
00:04:36Please
00:04:38Please
00:04:38What the hell?
00:05:08What the hell did you do to me?
00:05:10Me?
00:05:10I didn't do anything.
00:05:11In fact, I think that this is all your fault.
00:05:14You need to change me back right now.
00:05:16I don't think I can live the rest of my life with these things.
00:05:20Okay, what did you...
00:05:21Where did you even dig up those heels?
00:05:23Those are my grandma's.
00:05:24I think they're cute.
00:05:26Cute?
00:05:27They're so tall.
00:05:28I've never worn those a day in my life.
00:05:30If I want to go to the beach naked, it's my life.
00:05:33100%.
00:05:33What are you doing, Trish?
00:05:35Billy!
00:05:36Hey, babe.
00:05:40Why are you dressed like it's Halloween?
00:05:42Maybe I kiss the ring back to your senses.
00:05:48Hold that thought.
00:05:50We need to talk.
00:05:51Like right now.
00:05:58Did my own boyfriend just refuse to kiss me?
00:06:00He's always such a horndog.
00:06:01Maybe he got neutered.
00:06:06You're changing us back right now!
00:06:08Okay, don't panic.
00:06:09It's obviously just an electrical transference of quantum...
00:06:11Not God!
00:06:12Speak English, please!
00:06:13Okay, something obviously happened that slammed us out of our bodies and into each other's.
00:06:16Okay, so we need to slam ourselves back together.
00:06:19Hypothetically speaking, yes.
00:06:20But how?
00:06:20Like this.
00:06:21Oh, God.
00:06:26Oh, man.
00:06:28Oh, fire.
00:06:30Fire!
00:06:30Fire!
00:06:31Fire!
00:06:33Fire, Billy, fire!
00:06:34Go!
00:06:34Go go go!
00:06:42Oh my god, we're gonna die in here.
00:06:45Oh my god, stop being such a drama queen, it's literally just the problem.
00:06:48It's not, it's gonna burn the whole school down, we're gonna die in here!
00:06:51Oh my god, no!
00:07:09This is unbelievable, Mr. Miller, Miss Wiener, my office, now!
00:07:25Pepsi.
00:07:36I've heard about the trouble you two been causing for the last few days.
00:07:40It's his fault.
00:07:40It's her fault.
00:07:41Excuse me?
00:07:42Nothing.
00:07:44Now, since you two single-handedly destroyed the prom, you're gonna redecorate it.
00:07:49I hate the prom.
00:07:50Decorating's like girl stuff.
00:07:53Which I love to do because I am a girl.
00:07:57If you two don't do as I say and spend all day long fixing the prom, you will be expelled.
00:08:02What?
00:08:02I can't do that today, okay?
00:08:04I have a science test that's worth half of my grade.
00:08:06And I have swim trials after school to find out who becomes swim team captain.
00:08:09I mean, Denise does.
00:08:10I mean, Denise does.
00:08:11I don't know what's wrong with you two, and I really don't care.
00:08:14But if I see you separated for anything other than class and to fix the prom, you are out of
00:08:19my school.
00:08:20Got it?
00:08:24I asked you two a question!
00:08:27Yeah?
00:08:28Yes, Principal Rainmaker.
00:08:30Good.
00:08:30Now shake hands for the start of a beautiful new relationship.
00:08:42Shake hands!
00:08:44Now get out of my office!
00:08:47Now!
00:08:54Okay.
00:09:04You did this on purpose!
00:09:05You just know I'm uber popular and you're so uncool!
00:09:09Oh, well if I had the power to do that, then I would use it for something better than you!
00:09:13You need to put us back together!
00:09:15Oh my god, you're right.
00:09:15Wait.
00:09:16We need glue.
00:09:18We need glue!
00:09:20We need glue!
00:09:24Okay.
00:09:25Um, yeah.
00:09:25No, not that type of glue.
00:09:27I'm talking about a quantum glue.
00:09:28A transference of matter.
00:09:30That'll generate a-
00:09:31Okay.
00:09:31Stop speaking nerd-ernese.
00:09:33Um, if we were to hug, then our brains might release oxytocin, which is the bonding chemical, and that could
00:09:40reset our energy fields.
00:09:41You want me to hug you?
00:09:42For scientific purposes only.
00:09:44Don't get too excited.
00:09:45I'm sure you're the excited one.
00:09:47I know you've always had a crush on me.
00:09:48Okay.
00:09:49No, I've actually never had a crush on you.
00:09:51But I totally do have a crush on you.
00:09:52I just can't let him find out.
00:09:58Okay, don't make it weird.
00:10:00Come here, bro.
00:10:01I'm gonna-
00:10:02I'm gonna approach.
00:10:03And I'm gonna-
00:10:03I'm gonna go-
00:10:05Okay, nice.
00:10:07Okay.
00:10:23Nope.
00:10:24I still have the wrong reproductive appendage.
00:10:26Well, clearly he's excited.
00:10:28And it's called a dick.
00:10:29I'd like to have it back, please.
00:10:30Oh, you think I like being stuck with this thing between my legs?
00:10:34How do you make it go down?
00:10:35Think of dead puppies.
00:10:36Or Miss Chadwick, the English teacher naked.
00:10:38Oh.
00:10:39Oh.
00:10:39Ew.
00:10:41See?
00:10:43Now, don't you have one of those, like, science experiments that you can change us back?
00:10:46Swim trials are today, and promised tonight, and my girlfriend is counting on me to show up as me!
00:10:50Okay, stop yelling at me!
00:10:51Who else am I supposed to yell at, idiot?
00:10:53I don't know!
00:10:53Not me!
00:10:54Oh!
00:11:06You hit me!
00:11:07I did.
00:11:08And I'm a girl!
00:11:10I'm sorry.
00:11:11Can I s-
00:11:11You look okay.
00:11:13Now who's the bully?
00:11:15Okay.
00:11:16I'm sorry.
00:11:18Let's just move on from this, okay?
00:11:19We can worry about trying to swap our bodies back after we finish decorating for the prom.
00:11:24Seriously, I- I cannot be expelled.
00:11:27Fine!
00:11:28Well, just start with the palm trees.
00:11:32Oh.
00:11:38Okay.
00:11:39Yeah.
00:11:40Excuse me.
00:11:40Yeah.
00:11:43Okay.
00:11:45Palm trees.
00:11:51Hey!
00:11:52What are you doing?
00:11:53Why are you painting it before you've even cut it out?
00:11:55Cause it's a palm tree, so we need to paint it first, then we cut it out.
00:11:58Oh, that wasn't clear.
00:11:58Oh, well, you weren't clear.
00:11:59Why am I not-
00:12:00Why am I getting so much backlash?
00:12:01Why are you offended by everything?
00:12:02I just want clear direction!
00:12:08That clear enough for you?
00:12:15Crystal.
00:12:45Oh no!
00:12:46My favorite jersey.
00:12:47Take it off!
00:12:48So we can walk it out.
00:12:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:52Turn it up.
00:12:54Push it back, push it back.
00:12:56Though it's dead.
00:12:57Oh no!
00:12:57It's my favorite jersey.
00:12:58Take it off so we can walk it.
00:12:59Oh no!
00:13:01Enough! Enough! No more games.
00:13:04We gotta...
00:13:06Okay, we gotta finish this up before we get stuck.
00:13:10Be careful, it's a little slippery.
00:13:30You know that chemical reaction you said we need to change back?
00:13:35Maybe it had to be something stronger than a hug.
00:13:39What's stronger than a hug?
00:13:41A kiss.
00:13:43You wanna kiss me?
00:13:44If it'll change us back, it's worth a try.
00:13:48Yeah, I guess that theorem checks out.
00:13:52Okay, so we'll kiss.
00:13:54Ready?
00:13:56Ready.
00:13:58Set?
00:13:58Set.
00:14:04And here we go.
00:14:24You're cheating on me with Denise? The human tampon of Hyzer High?
00:14:27Wait, you take that back.
00:14:28You're actually defending her?
00:14:31We're done.
00:14:33Find a new problem date.
00:14:38You got me dumped!
00:14:39Okay, I mean, let's just fix it.
00:14:43Ow!
00:14:44Where are you going?
00:14:45Get my life back.
00:14:47Well, if Principal Rainmaker finds out that we're not working together, we're gonna be expelled.
00:14:50You're not working together.
00:14:53Oh god.
00:15:05Honey, quit!
00:15:06Don't touch me, you nerd nightmare.
00:15:09Honey, please, this is a huge mistake.
00:15:10Why do you keep calling me honey?
00:15:12Get your paws off me and drop it in.
00:15:15Say I'm a whore for homework.
00:15:18Vixen, please, just hear me out.
00:15:22Vixen!
00:15:24Vixen, stop.
00:15:25Vixen, stop.
00:15:28Stop.
00:15:30You've done enough damage already.
00:15:33Wow.
00:15:34How does it feel to be the nerd?
00:15:38So, you're not into Denise?
00:15:41Get real, Vixen.
00:15:44Do you really think that I would cheat on you with her?
00:15:47Vixen, I knew you used to love me.
00:15:49I'll still go to film with you.
00:15:50No.
00:15:52What?
00:15:53Is my makeup smeared?
00:15:54I know you hate it when I'm not perfect.
00:16:02You know what, Vixen?
00:16:05Vixen, you have bossed everyone around for years.
00:16:08Now you get to know what it's like to be on the other side.
00:16:10You can't just leave me here.
00:16:11We were ordered to work together.
00:16:12Yeah, you had no problem leaving me.
00:16:15Yeah.
00:16:17Maybe now you'll appreciate me a little more.
00:16:20Let's go.
00:16:23Just, just, just walk.
00:16:32Hey.
00:16:32Billy, it turns me on when you put other girls in their place.
00:16:36Oh, wow.
00:16:37That's cool.
00:16:39Um, hey.
00:16:40Why don't we go to class?
00:16:42Shh.
00:16:43Not until.
00:16:45I think.
00:16:48I really don't think a thank you is necessary, but, okay.
00:16:52Ah, here.
00:16:53And you're gonna go right there.
00:16:55Um.
00:16:56What?
00:16:56What's wrong with you, Billy?
00:16:57Don't be scared.
00:16:58I just don't feel myself.
00:17:00What's up?
00:17:01Brother, why is it you're not up?
00:17:07Oh, I, uh, I, what, I, I have to fly my kite.
00:17:17What?
00:17:17I'm gonna be back.
00:17:19What is wrong with you?
00:17:23Why is he running like a girl?
00:17:25Move!
00:17:32Oh, my, oh, God.
00:17:35Excuse me, sorry.
00:17:37Stupid button.
00:17:38Excuse me, excuse me.
00:17:39Sorry.
00:17:40I need your help, please.
00:17:42Help with what?
00:17:43Beating up freshmen?
00:17:44Bullying's so pre-pandemic, Billy.
00:17:45No, Billy and I have to decorate for the prom
00:17:47or I'm gonna get expelled.
00:17:48But you are, Billy.
00:17:49No.
00:17:50Oh, no, no, I'm Denise.
00:17:52I'm your best friend.
00:17:53Oh, please.
00:17:55I'm serious.
00:17:56Billy and I, we swapped bodies last night.
00:18:03Billy, I was willing to listen to you,
00:18:05but instead you come to me lying
00:18:06with this ridiculous story.
00:18:14I'm being serious.
00:18:17Okay, Vixen literally just tried to make out with me.
00:18:19I've only been a guy for like two hours
00:18:21and I'm already a complete and holy slut.
00:18:23Of course, Vixen tried to make out with you.
00:18:25She's your girlfriend, remember?
00:18:27But you're not listening to me, okay?
00:18:29I still can't believe I woke up with this thing
00:18:32between my legs.
00:18:34Oh, in all seriousness, though,
00:18:35like how do you pee without accidentally
00:18:36hosing yourself in the face
00:18:37because I cannot figure it out?
00:18:39It's a little early to be talking about
00:18:40penile control with you, okay?
00:18:41Okay, look, look, look, look, look, okay.
00:18:43Maybe, maybe.
00:18:45If I just show you it,
00:18:46like you can help me figure this thing out
00:18:47because I do not know how it works then.
00:18:48Oh my God!
00:18:53Don't have any of the pudding.
00:18:55It's bad.
00:18:58Are you kidding me?
00:19:00Bull!
00:19:00God!
00:19:01Sorry.
00:19:03Why would you hit me?
00:19:05Nice try,
00:19:06but I'm not falling for the
00:19:07look at your drunk prank
00:19:08you pulled on me in eighth grade.
00:19:10What?
00:19:11I didn't know that
00:19:13Billy bullied you?
00:19:15Stop pretending you're Denise.
00:19:18Actually,
00:19:19he's not pretending.
00:19:21Or
00:19:22she's not pretending.
00:19:24And
00:19:25yes,
00:19:26you're right.
00:19:27I did bully you.
00:19:28A lot, actually.
00:19:30And I'm sorry.
00:19:31Wait, wait, what?
00:19:32It's all true.
00:19:34We swapped bodies.
00:19:35And this happened last night.
00:19:36When I woke up,
00:19:37I had these.
00:19:40This is bitchin'.
00:19:41I mean,
00:19:41oh my God.
00:19:42I knew I had sick powers,
00:19:43but I didn't know I could do something like this.
00:19:44This is so badass.
00:19:45This is epic.
00:19:46This is...
00:19:47Wait, I did what?
00:19:52Whoa!
00:19:53Oh my God, buddy.
00:19:54Easy, buddy.
00:19:55Just breathe.
00:19:55Just breathe.
00:19:56Oh my God.
00:19:57Maybe he has like low blood sugar or something.
00:19:59Should we get him a cookie?
00:20:00Juice.
00:20:00No, juice is better.
00:20:01Juice is better.
00:20:02Juice is better.
00:20:03Juice.
00:20:04Excuse me.
00:20:04Borrowing that.
00:20:05Oh my God.
00:20:06I got your juice.
00:20:07Here you go.
00:20:07Here you go.
00:20:08Here comes the juice.
00:20:10Open up.
00:20:10Open up.
00:20:11There it is.
00:20:12Oh my God, you're cute.
00:20:13I'm not a diabetic.
00:20:14I'm just in shock, you weirdos.
00:20:17Bolt, what did you mean by,
00:20:19oh no, what did I do?
00:20:21I maybe made a little wish upon a star
00:20:24and this amulet.
00:20:31What kind of wish?
00:20:35A wish that would help all Denise's wishes come true?
00:20:37If you don't unwish this wish right now,
00:20:39I am going to rearrange your face.
00:20:43We are serious, Bolt.
00:20:45Okay?
00:20:46You're our only hope here.
00:20:48I mean, this is crazy.
00:20:49I'm like the real Harry Potter just with abs.
00:20:52Magic isn't real.
00:20:53How dare you?
00:20:53Science was actually mistaken for magic for like centuries.
00:20:56So, um, yeah, actually it is a possibility.
00:20:59Damn right it is.
00:21:00You know what?
00:21:01I can fix this.
00:21:01I can fix this.
00:21:02We just need ingredients.
00:21:05He's serious, isn't he?
00:21:07You got a better idea?
00:21:09Let's go.
00:21:12I'm going to need a silver fork for focus.
00:21:15Hot sauce for passion.
00:21:16Is he a hot dog?
00:21:20Oatmeal for balance.
00:21:22And, uh, pancakes.
00:21:23He said, help me, pancakes.
00:21:24We need pancakes for protection.
00:21:27Alright, hold on, you two.
00:21:29Because I'm about to put you back where you truly belong.
00:21:32Hot dog-us.
00:21:33Pancaik-us.
00:21:34Ketchup-us.
00:21:35Mustard-us.
00:21:36Sugar, we're going down, down, down.
00:21:38By the power of carbs and chaos.
00:21:40But turn these souls to their natural vessels.
00:21:44It's working.
00:21:46How the fuck did I know?
00:21:50It's working.
00:21:52I'm doing magic.
00:21:54It's working.
00:22:07This doesn't look like decorating to me.
00:22:09You have ten seconds to explain yourself,
00:22:10or this will be your last thing at House of High.
00:22:14Principal Rainmaker, it's a total misunderstanding.
00:22:16Boat, I didn't know you'd be here.
00:22:18Well, I am.
00:22:19And I'm a sorcerer.
00:22:21You see all the wind I created?
00:22:22First off, you don't lost your rabid-ass mind.
00:22:25Get off my table!
00:22:26And the ventilation system is being reinstalled.
00:22:28That is the A.C.
00:22:29Oh.
00:22:31So I can't do magic, I'm here.
00:22:33Principal Rainmaker, we actually were decorating for prom.
00:22:38We just expanded our team to include Bolt
00:22:41for his styling expertise, of course.
00:22:48Delegation.
00:22:48Mm-hmm.
00:22:49Good.
00:22:49Keep it up.
00:22:52Or else.
00:22:58So that spell you did was fake?
00:23:00I swear, I thought it was working.
00:23:01I mean, maybe we shouldn't use culinary products next time.
00:23:04Okay.
00:23:05Both?
00:23:06You have to switch us back.
00:23:09Uh-oh.
00:23:11Uh-oh, what do you mean, uh-oh?
00:23:13I feel something weird.
00:23:14Down here.
00:23:16Oh no.
00:23:17Oh no.
00:23:18Billy.
00:23:18I think-
00:23:19Oh no!
00:23:20I think I'm about to have my-
00:23:22I'm about to have your technically mind, but it's in your-
00:23:24I'm about to have-
00:23:25Oh my God!
00:23:27No!
00:23:28Welcome to the wonderful world of being a woman.
00:23:36Okay, relax.
00:23:37Relax.
00:23:38It's not my time of the month, so you probably just have to pee.
00:23:41I haven't done that yet.
00:23:43You haven't peed all day?
00:23:44I wanted to be respectful and not look at you down there.
00:23:47Oh, well that's-
00:23:48That's kind of sweet.
00:23:50Um, well there's a-
00:23:52There's a bathroom down the hall that you can use if you want to.
00:23:54Um, I would go.
00:23:55And we'll meet up after class.
00:23:57All the sitting down.
00:24:00How do you girls do it?
00:24:03I'd be sitting down sometimes.
00:24:05Ooh!
00:24:07Ooh!
00:24:11Ooh!
00:24:11Ooh!
00:24:12Ooh!
00:24:12Ooh!
00:24:12Ooh!
00:24:13Ooh!
00:24:13Ooh!
00:24:15Ooh!
00:24:15Well, wow!
00:24:16Look who it is!
00:24:17A piece of shit coming in to take a shit.
00:24:19Right!
00:24:21To bother you, I just need to use the bathroom.
00:24:27You're not going anywhere.
00:24:29Please let me go.
00:24:30If you need to pee, pee.
00:24:33Or is it that time of the month?
00:24:34Need a tampon?
00:24:37Maybe you need another one.
00:24:40Maybe you need another one.
00:24:42Girls!
00:24:43Vixen, I know you're nice.
00:24:45I am nice.
00:24:45To people I like.
00:24:48Trying to steal my boyfriend?
00:24:55This will teach you to mess with my man, you science carp psycho!
00:25:02I think you need a few more.
00:25:03I think you need a few more.
00:25:06We gotta get to class.
00:25:08One sec.
00:25:10We'll be Billy again, and you won't walk out of here alive.
00:25:14He he...
00:25:15Eh?
00:25:28Oh my...
00:25:28Je-
00:25:29Billy!
00:25:30What are you doing?!
00:25:32Oh my god, what the hell happen to me?
00:25:34My girlfriend just beat the crap out of me because she thought I was you
00:25:38trying to steal you from me for her for you.
00:25:45What?
00:25:46Jackson actually bullied me.
00:25:47Obviously, she always bullies me.
00:25:49I'm sorry she always bullies you, but please help me.
00:25:52I couldn't go to class.
00:25:53You skipped my math class?
00:25:54You don't expect me to walk into class looking like this.
00:25:56Maybe it's time for you to get a little bit of payback.
00:25:58If you don't help me and drop this attitude, I'll drop this blouse.
00:26:05What?
00:26:05I'll go streaking across campus, and then we'll see if the stripper of Heiser High gets into college.
00:26:11You wouldn't.
00:26:17One.
00:26:19You're bluffing.
00:26:20Two.
00:26:22Billy, think about this, okay?
00:26:23You don't actually want to do this, Billy.
00:26:24Three.
00:26:25You don't.
00:26:25Oh my God, no!
00:26:27No, no, no, stop!
00:26:28Stop, stop, stop.
00:26:29Okay?
00:26:29You win.
00:26:30Okay?
00:26:31I will help you.
00:26:32Let's just...
00:26:32Let's get you over...
00:26:34Away from everybody, and speed back up.
00:26:37Thank you so much.
00:26:39Out of your mind, Billy.
00:26:41Look, I didn't know how many of my friends could be until I was on the other side of it.
00:26:48I'm sorry.
00:26:50Whatever.
00:26:51Let's just...
00:26:52Maybe go decorate for the prom, I guess.
00:26:54I'm on an audition.
00:26:55Come back.
00:26:57Stop acting like grades are all you got, man.
00:27:00Grades are all that I've got.
00:27:01You could be anything you want to be.
00:27:03Prom queen, student council, literally anything.
00:27:08Yeah, sure.
00:27:09Maybe in an alternate dimension.
00:27:10We are in an alternate dimension.
00:27:12Look, you got brains and beauty.
00:27:14Something Vixen and all the other girls are so jealous of.
00:27:17Yeah, they're actually jealous of me.
00:27:19Yes!
00:27:20I mean...
00:27:21Why have you been hiding this body?
00:27:23God.
00:27:25Okay, well, it's not like I'm hiding something.
00:27:27See this?
00:27:29Yes, you have.
00:27:31No.
00:27:32Come on, feel it.
00:27:33What?
00:27:34Oh my God, no!
00:27:35That kind of touching is totally inappropriate.
00:27:36Bro, it's literally your body I'm trying to get you to appreciate.
00:27:44Okay, I just, I guess I've never, like, saw myself as...
00:27:49Sexy?
00:27:51It's just not respectable to be valued only for your looks.
00:27:54Okay, real beauty, it's on the inside.
00:27:57Stop being such a prude and go with it.
00:28:03Okay.
00:28:04Yep.
00:28:10Okay, I guess I am kind of fat.
00:28:11You're gorgeous.
00:28:14Looking this good isn't vanity.
00:28:16It's power.
00:28:19Maybe I could show you how to use it.
00:28:31Excuse me!
00:28:33What in the 50 shades of gray is going on here?
00:28:36We're just doing an anatomy lesson.
00:28:39Yeah, I was wondering where my kidneys were.
00:28:41I think they're in here, right?
00:28:42Yep, right there.
00:28:43Perfect, thanks for the lesson.
00:28:44My spell really did work.
00:28:46You two really are falling in love.
00:28:49No, we're not.
00:28:50No, we're not.
00:28:51Sure.
00:28:53Then why are you playing doctor on the football field?
00:28:55And why is Denise so...
00:28:58Busty?
00:28:59My girlfriend just beat the shit out of me.
00:29:03Please tell me a better clothes for me to change into.
00:29:05Did you check the lost and found?
00:29:06There's some pretty good shit in there.
00:29:09I can glam you two up later.
00:29:11Thanks, Paul.
00:29:12Oh, and one small detail to add some more pressure to your day.
00:29:15We have our driving test after school.
00:29:18In the back parking lot, during a study break.
00:29:21Oh, good luck.
00:29:23Driving test?
00:29:25I can't drive!
00:29:31What?
00:29:32What?
00:29:33What?
00:29:35What?
00:29:36What?
00:29:36What?
00:29:36Welcome back, welcome back.
00:29:38My hip is where we're sad.
00:29:40I don't need a match.
00:29:41I don't need a lighter.
00:29:42But we don't fight.
00:29:43Yeah, that's a fact.
00:29:44Whoa!
00:29:46Whoa!
00:29:53That awesome found box really saved the day, huh?
00:29:55Ow!
00:29:58I look amazing, don't I?
00:29:59Yeah, the category's called Britney Bitch.
00:30:12This is a bad idea.
00:30:14People drive cars every day.
00:30:16Get in.
00:30:17It's not that difficult.
00:30:19Bull, get in.
00:30:20No, no, no, no, no.
00:30:21I'm not dying today.
00:30:22Bull, come on.
00:30:23I need you just in case he kills us?
00:30:26Yeah, I took driver's ed with Billy before.
00:30:28And the, uh, instructor?
00:30:29He's still in therapy.
00:30:31Get your pretty boy butt in the car and strap yourself in.
00:30:34Oh.
00:30:48I can't do this.
00:30:49Billy, Billy, Billy, get back here.
00:30:55Both right, I suck.
00:30:56If you're seriously sorry about all of the bullying you've done over these years, then you will do this for
00:31:00me.
00:31:00I cannot drive to school in my mom's station wagon for another year.
00:31:03Everyone already thinks I'm a big enough nerd as it is.
00:31:06God, you're not a nerd.
00:31:08You're actually kind of cool.
00:31:10I am.
00:31:11Open your cream pie, put the car in drive before I throw up.
00:31:20So this is how I die today.
00:31:21And my dad's convertible was shit upholstery.
00:31:23Shut up!
00:31:24Not used to this car yet.
00:31:44Yep, we're clear.
00:31:45It's all clear.
00:31:46Okay?
00:31:47Let's move out.
00:31:49Gently.
00:31:51Okay.
00:32:03My grandma drives faster than this.
00:32:05And she's dead.
00:32:14Why did we stop?
00:32:15The car was parking.
00:32:16Because we're in a parking lot!
00:32:19Okay, do you see that?
00:32:20That right there?
00:32:21That spot.
00:32:22Yeah?
00:32:22Go parking.
00:32:24Parallel parking?
00:32:25Fuck no.
00:32:26That's my weak spot, man.
00:32:29Listen to him.
00:32:32You've got this.
00:32:34My faith in you.
00:32:44Oh my God!
00:32:45Stop!
00:32:46Oh my God!
00:32:46Billy, stop!
00:32:47Stop!
00:32:48Stop!
00:32:51Okay.
00:32:54I think that's enough driving lessons for today.
00:32:57Dear diary,
00:32:58Today I almost died from vehicular manslaughter.
00:33:00Whew.
00:33:01You tried your best, Billy.
00:33:03That's all that matters.
00:33:04You're not disappointed in me?
00:33:07No.
00:33:09No.
00:33:10You're okay at my book.
00:33:12I'll repay you for this.
00:33:17No one's ever going to bully you again.
00:33:23I'm going to run for prom queen.
00:33:26Oh, and...
00:33:27You're going to win.
00:33:29What?
00:33:29No.
00:33:30Billy, no!
00:33:31You're all good, today!
00:33:32No!
00:33:32No!
00:33:33Billy, you can't do this!
00:33:34Billy!
00:33:36Today's winner for prom queen!
00:33:38Woo!
00:33:39I like that he's pushing you out of your comfort zone.
00:33:41But he's trying to turn me into somebody that I'm not.
00:33:43Someone that's confident, attractive, someone who's actually trying to have fun.
00:33:48Tragic.
00:33:48Are you actually taking Billy's side right now?
00:33:50What's the worst that's going to happen?
00:33:51I lose!
00:33:53Everybody hates me.
00:33:54Sweetheart.
00:33:55Besides me, everyone already does hate you.
00:33:57Oh, thanks.
00:33:58Oh, all right, come on.
00:33:59We've got to get to class.
00:34:00Lucky for you, it's with me.
00:34:02What?
00:34:03What class, Trig?
00:34:05History.
00:34:05No, it's my favorite one of the day.
00:34:08Gee, you ever take a shower with a group of boys?
00:34:12It's fun.
00:34:13You're going to love it.
00:34:14I'll see you there.
00:34:31Hey, what's up?
00:34:33Kitty!
00:34:34Hey, we should play a game called Find Each Other's Locker.
00:34:39I found yours.
00:34:40Here's mine.
00:34:41We do not have time for this.
00:34:42Twenty-five minutes.
00:34:43Come on, get your act together.
00:34:46Thanks, Kenny.
00:34:47Nailed it.
00:34:48I cannot stop itching.
00:34:50Look at this.
00:34:52Oh, it's plastic.
00:34:54Fungal overgrowth of the inguinal region.
00:35:00Tineacurus.
00:35:01Tineacurus who?
00:35:02A jock itch, okay?
00:35:04We need antifungal cream everywhere.
00:35:08Like, now, okay?
00:35:11When did you get so smart?
00:35:13It's almost like you got another brain.
00:35:16Tineacurus.
00:35:17Tineacurus.
00:35:18You're welcome, Kenny.
00:35:20Thanks, man.
00:35:23Ladies, this is P.E. not home ec.
00:35:26I want those clothes off, those speedos on, and your grizzly butts in that pool in, uh, one minute.
00:35:34Miller!
00:35:35Swim trials on the bed.
00:35:37I want you to be the new team captain.
00:35:41Yeah, Miller!
00:35:42Yeah!
00:35:43Yeah!
00:35:44Go, Miller!
00:35:45Let's go, Billy!
00:35:46Mmm, you got it, Coach.
00:35:48Woo!
00:35:49All right, guys, we're going to bananas on three, yeah?
00:35:51Yeah.
00:35:52All right.
00:35:53One, two, three.
00:35:54Bananas!
00:35:55Go!
00:35:55Go!
00:35:56Yes!
00:35:57Here we go.
00:35:58Here we go.
00:35:58Here we go.
00:36:18Okay, my little mermaids.
00:36:20Let's see if you're as bad as you look.
00:36:23Time to get in the pool.
00:36:24On your mark!
00:36:30Get set.
00:36:37Denise, Denise, Denise.
00:36:39If you don't practice now, you're going to drown at the trials.
00:36:42Okay.
00:36:43Well, please don't make me do this.
00:36:44I, I, I can't, I can't swim.
00:36:46All right, we can think of something else.
00:36:48Really?
00:36:49Nope.
00:36:53Oh, you're the one.
00:36:59I hate you.
00:37:00Listen, I'm going to hypnotize you, okay?
00:37:02Billy's body is going to be used to the water on two.
00:37:05On two.
00:37:06Into.
00:37:07What?
00:37:08Out two.
00:37:09Into.
00:37:10Out two.
00:37:10Out two.
00:37:11There you go.
00:37:12Into.
00:37:13All right, now you're going to swim.
00:37:15Yeah.
00:37:16There you go.
00:37:17I'm good.
00:37:18All right.
00:37:18Now, we're going to get to the end of the pool.
00:37:21It's going to be stroke, glide, and breathe.
00:37:23Down there?
00:37:24Yes.
00:37:26Okay.
00:37:26You got it?
00:37:26You're going to stroke, glide, and breathe.
00:37:29Okay.
00:37:30Slide, kick.
00:37:31All right, give it a run.
00:37:33Stroke.
00:37:35Slide.
00:37:35And breathe.
00:37:36I'm good.
00:37:38Kick.
00:37:39Kumbaya.
00:37:39I'm a two.
00:37:42I'm swimming.
00:37:44Let's go, Billy.
00:37:45I'm swimming.
00:37:47You got it?
00:37:48Keep it up.
00:37:49It's into.
00:37:50Out two.
00:37:51There you go.
00:37:52Good job.
00:38:01Oh, my God.
00:38:02I'm swimming.
00:38:02I grew up so fast.
00:38:11Hey, hi's or hi, bananas?
00:38:14Denise for prom queen.
00:38:17Denise for prom.
00:38:19Happy prom.
00:38:20It's the time I wanted, so I'm happy about it.
00:38:23I'm happy for you.
00:38:24Denise for prom queen.
00:38:26I want to take that.
00:38:29I would never vote for you.
00:38:32Oh, you will.
00:38:34Unless you want everyone to find out about your little date with the vacuum cleaner.
00:38:41And how the welcome weasel got stuck in it.
00:38:45How do you know about that?
00:38:48No, vote for me.
00:38:49And no one else will.
00:38:52I hate you.
00:38:53I'm going to do this.
00:38:56And that goes for the rest of you.
00:38:57Like Paul and his stepmom picks.
00:39:00For RJ and his little make-out sex with the mascot head.
00:39:05I'll vote.
00:39:07I'll vote.
00:39:07I'll vote.
00:39:10One at a time, guys.
00:39:11You're all disgusting.
00:39:12I love you.
00:39:12Take one.
00:39:13Take one.
00:39:14Take one.
00:39:15Ah!
00:39:16Ah!
00:39:17Ah!
00:39:18Ah!
00:39:18Ah!
00:39:18Ah!
00:39:21Ah!
00:39:23Ah!
00:39:24Ah!
00:39:24Billy's drowning!
00:39:25What?
00:39:25Billy's drowning!
00:39:26Somebody grab a lifesaver!
00:39:28I got a coach!
00:39:34Billy!
00:39:38Billy, Billy's drowning!
00:39:41Hey!
00:39:42Are you OK?
00:39:43Oh, my God, he's drowning.
00:39:44He's drowning!
00:39:46Billy!
00:39:47Billy, help me!
00:39:48Oh!
00:40:00Oh my God!
00:40:11Oh my God!
00:40:15Oh my God!
00:40:18You okay? You took a lot in.
00:40:24You shaving?
00:40:26Of course.
00:40:27I'm not letting either of us drown.
00:40:30Hey!
00:40:33When the tarnation is going on over here, get up.
00:40:36You want an invitation? Get up!
00:40:40Now I want to know, why is Miller not swimming like Miller?
00:40:43And this little girl got in that pool with no swimsuit and no training.
00:40:48Answer me!
00:40:49I can explain. Mercury's in retrograde, so...
00:40:52But I do not have time for your astrological bullshit right now.
00:40:56But it's true, the gravitational pull is just distorting perception,
00:40:58so it made it look like Denise is actually better than Pilly.
00:41:01I saw these two with my own eyes!
00:41:04But your chart says that you're ruled by Neptune, which is the planet of confusion.
00:41:10You see?
00:41:12You also got a lot of love and desires coming your way, Coach Finlands.
00:41:17Love?
00:41:18Yeah.
00:41:19For me?
00:41:22Aquarius, like rain, like a ray maker.
00:41:25Oh, yes.
00:41:25Me? And her?
00:41:27That big man?
00:41:28That's really straight of you.
00:41:31Alright, you two, meet me in the gym.
00:41:35Now?
00:41:40Hey.
00:41:41Hi.
00:41:42Um...
00:41:43Your clothes should be pretty dry.
00:41:44Now?
00:41:45Sorry that you got all wet.
00:41:47Sorry I got you in it this mess.
00:41:49It's...
00:41:49It's all good.
00:41:50I mean, I really should learn how to swim, so...
00:41:52Thank you again for saving me.
00:41:54Alright, you two.
00:41:55We got a prom to decorate.
00:41:56I don't want you all to get expelled now.
00:41:58I like you too much.
00:42:02You're alright.
00:42:05You're alright.
00:42:06He's right.
00:42:07You're actually a lot cooler than I thought you were.
00:42:10Thanks.
00:42:11I think.
00:42:13You're not too bad yourself.
00:42:14You know?
00:42:15You're actually pretty funny.
00:42:16And you're like way smarter than I thought you were.
00:42:19And you're really cute.
00:42:21And like a socially acceptable...
00:42:23Like in a subjective sort of way.
00:42:27Never mind.
00:42:27No, I feel the same way.
00:42:33You do.
00:42:35Yeah.
00:42:36I do.
00:42:40Cool.
00:42:46Um...
00:42:48Prom.
00:42:48Yeah.
00:42:50Prom.
00:42:54Who are you even going with anyway?
00:42:56I'm...
00:42:57I'm not going, actually.
00:42:59Why not?
00:43:01Do you want to?
00:43:03Honestly, not really.
00:43:04I think I'd rather just stay at home.
00:43:05Like, watch football or something.
00:43:07No.
00:43:08I'm...
00:43:09Like, do you want to go to prom with me?
00:43:15Denise.
00:43:16You know I have a girlfriend.
00:43:19Yeah.
00:43:20Yes.
00:43:20Yes, I do.
00:43:21Vixen.
00:43:23Yeah.
00:43:24Um...
00:43:25And she's great, by the way.
00:43:28I'm...
00:43:29Gonna...
00:43:29I'm just gonna meet up with you.
00:43:31And I'm gonna see you soon, okay?
00:43:32We're just gonna...
00:43:33We'll stay.
00:43:37Was she serious about asking me to prom?
00:43:39Lucky boy.
00:43:40She's never asked a guy to pass assault.
00:43:42Other than prom.
00:43:44Yeah, she was serious.
00:43:47Let's go, Slugger.
00:44:12Vixen, what are you doing?
00:44:13Shh.
00:44:13Okay.
00:44:15Um...
00:44:16Vic...
00:44:16Vixen, I have...
00:44:17I have class.
00:44:18Pop quiz.
00:44:19The only thing popping out is you.
00:44:22What?
00:44:22Can Big Billy come out to play?
00:44:25Huh?
00:44:25Oh!
00:44:26No.
00:44:27No.
00:44:27Here.
00:44:29You're so strong.
00:44:30Why are you acting like someone completely different?
00:44:35Uh...
00:44:35Denise?
00:44:41You know, what makes you think I'm Denise?
00:44:44I've gone mental.
00:44:45Of course you're not Denise, but she's turned you into this honorable zombie.
00:44:49Okay, I'm just trying to be a little bit more responsible.
00:44:51I don't know what's so strange about that.
00:44:53This flashcard freak is running for prom queen.
00:44:56Yeah.
00:44:57I know she is.
00:44:59I think she has a pretty good shot at winning it, too.
00:45:00Okay, I hope she does.
00:45:01And I can just pour some more slime on her just like you did yesterday.
00:45:04You wouldn't dare.
00:45:05Do you bet your biceps I would?
00:45:07Really?
00:45:07You make me want to be really bad.
00:45:09Okay.
00:45:09Oh.
00:45:10Oh.
00:45:10No.
00:45:10No, no, no.
00:45:11That's okay.
00:45:12No.
00:45:13Vixen, I don't want to kiss you.
00:45:14No!
00:45:16Okay.
00:45:19Oh my god, you're in love with that nerd, aren't you?
00:45:23What nerd?
00:45:24Where did you go?
00:45:26The human calculator with the bad haircut.
00:45:28What?
00:45:28Bad haircut.
00:45:29Oh god.
00:45:32I hate you, Billy.
00:45:34I hate you for making me love you!
00:45:43This isn't over.
00:45:45This isn't over by a long shot.
00:45:50What the hell just happened?
00:45:52Girlfriend just broke up with you.
00:45:53Again?
00:45:54This is the second time today.
00:45:56So do you!
00:45:57Okay, well, Billy, you're better off without her or else she doesn't have to do.
00:46:00You just make fun of me every day.
00:46:01Everyone makes fun of you.
00:46:02And that's not my fault, is it?
00:46:03Well, maybe you shouldn't play the victim card all the time and people would actually respect you.
00:46:08Fuck you, Billy!
00:46:09Fuck me?
00:46:09Yeah, fuck you!
00:46:10Oh, fuck me!
00:46:12Highs are high!
00:46:13Look who just grew a pair of balls!
00:46:15My balls?
00:46:16You know what?
00:46:17After we swap bodies, I never want to see you again.
00:46:22Fine!
00:46:23Fine!
00:46:23Fine!
00:46:24Fine!
00:46:25Fine!
00:46:26Fine!
00:46:26Fine!
00:46:30Well, except for in a few hours when we have to study, right?
00:46:37Fine!
00:46:40Fine!
00:46:44Okay, yeah, this is sure to be on the exam.
00:46:48Explain electrophilic aromatic-
00:46:50Oh, hey!
00:46:50Hey, man.
00:46:52Billy, I need you to focus.
00:46:54Okay, you have to pass my exam today.
00:46:55Why would I help you when you just torched my love life?
00:46:59It was an accident, okay?
00:47:01I didn't mean to break up with your stupid girlfriend.
00:47:03Then unbreak up with her.
00:47:04Get Vixen back, or I'm done studying.
00:47:07What are you doing?
00:47:09Mature.
00:47:09Honestly, I think that you're better off without Vixen.
00:47:12She's literally just this, like, crazed, little over-sexed cheerleader
00:47:15who just wants to have premarital intercourse all of the time.
00:47:18Exactly! That's why I'm dating her!
00:47:19Okay, well, the longer that I've gotten to know you,
00:47:23I just, I feel like maybe you deserve a little bit better.
00:47:25Oh, really? Yeah.
00:47:27And who would that be?
00:47:29You?
00:47:33Um, okay.
00:47:36Let me just go over all the condensation again, please.
00:47:39Get my Vixen back, or I'll fail your little test on purpose.
00:47:43Oh, oh, blackmail.
00:47:45Oh, is that what we're doing?
00:47:46We're doing blackmail now?
00:47:47Okay, fine.
00:47:48I am.
00:47:48Wait, where are you going?
00:47:49Excuse me.
00:47:50Hold on.
00:47:52Denise?
00:47:54Oh, wait, what did I just find?
00:47:57Is this a piece of cheesecake?
00:47:58You love cheesecake, don't you?
00:48:00So yum.
00:48:01Good luck fitting into your Speedo with a gut full of cheesecake.
00:48:06No!
00:48:07I love cheesecake.
00:48:08Cheesecake's my favorite.
00:48:09Okay, yeah.
00:48:09I used cheesecake all day, Billy.
00:48:11These.
00:48:11You're so funny, Denise.
00:48:13You're so funny.
00:48:15Uh-uh.
00:48:16What's this?
00:48:17Do you see what this is?
00:48:17Don't you dare.
00:48:18Don't you dare.
00:48:19No.
00:48:20Glucose kills your short-term memory.
00:48:22You will literally send my brain into a coma.
00:48:24Oh, okay.
00:48:27It is on.
00:48:28I don't mind!
00:48:41I'm living in a fun world
00:48:45Looking for the love, love, love
00:48:48Tell me, are you gonna be the one?
00:48:51Are you gonna be the one?
00:48:53A fun girl
00:48:55A fun girl
00:48:58A fun girl
00:49:03Are you gonna be the one?
00:49:05Are you gonna be the one?
00:49:08You know, when you're not such a know-it-all all the time
00:49:12You're actually kind of fun
00:49:16Careful, that almost sounded like a compliment
00:49:21We got an emergency
00:49:24Vixen's going psycho on the quad
00:49:26What?
00:49:29What is she doing?
00:49:31Vixen's saying even things that make me blush
00:49:33She's saying you smell like gym socks
00:49:34You stuffed your bra and you got pool lice
00:49:38She's trying to ruin your rep so you can't run for prom queen
00:49:40Yeah, well, when are you gonna get it, Billie?
00:49:43Okay, you say that you're so in love with this woman
00:49:45And she's an absolute-
00:49:46I'm a total bitch
00:49:47And I'm done letting her treat you like shit
00:49:49X!
00:49:50The skank!
00:49:50Human tampon!
00:49:51Yes, yes, yes!
00:49:52You've seen her around!
00:49:52You've seen her around!
00:49:53Give me an X!
00:49:54Human tampon!
00:49:55You've seen her around!
00:49:56The skank of the school!
00:49:56Give me an X!
00:49:57The knee sucks!
00:49:59If you have something you want to say to me, say it to my face
00:50:01My face should come with a warning label
00:50:03May cause diarrhea and suicidal thoughts
00:50:08Your face is proof that evolution has a sense of humor
00:50:11At least I don't smell like Bath and Body Works and desperation
00:50:16At least I don't smell like my boyfriend's best friend's dick
00:50:19It was only one time
00:50:21On the bus right back from the Kansas game
00:50:24Oh my god
00:50:24You actually cheated?
00:50:28Penny!
00:50:29Promise not to tell anyone!
00:50:30I was bluffing about you and Billy's best friend
00:50:33I didn't know it was actually true
00:50:34I can't help it if everybody wants me
00:50:36Unlike you, who nobody wants
00:50:39You'll never be me
00:50:40You're just a nerd with bad hair and no life
00:50:43You're right
00:50:44I'll never be you
00:50:46I'm not an insecure psycho who fantasizes about her own brother
00:50:50I don't fantasize about my brother!
00:50:52Really, really?
00:50:52Then why do you moan his name every time you and Billy make out?
00:50:59How do you know that?
00:51:01I will get you for this, you bitch!
00:51:13Everyone is first!
00:51:19Luanne!
00:51:19I said I'll get you those damn violins!
00:51:22Billy, this is a total misunderstanding
00:51:24I'm sorry, why are you even talking to me?
00:51:25You dumped me, remember?
00:51:27Only so you'd beg me to take you back
00:51:28Yeah, well I'm not a dog
00:51:30And I don't beg
00:51:32Especially for bitches like you
00:51:34Let's go
00:51:50This is pretty amazing
00:51:54This is pretty amazing
00:51:54Yeah, this is pretty good
00:51:58What's really amazing is you
00:52:00I mean what you did with Vixen
00:52:02Nobody has ever stood up for me like that before
00:52:04That's because the person who should be standing up for you
00:52:07Is you
00:52:09Sorry
00:52:11Watch and learn
00:52:13Good news guys
00:52:13I think I found a way to switch your bodies back
00:52:15For Billy's swim meet and Denise's big test
00:52:18Hold that thought
00:52:19I gotta go past Denise's driving test
00:52:21But you're scared to death of cars
00:52:23After telling off my bitch of an ex-girlfriend
00:52:26I'm scared of nothing!
00:52:29I think someone's got a crush on the boy who stole her body
00:52:32I do not have a crush on the boy who stole my body
00:52:36What?
00:52:39Okay, yeah, maybe like a little one
00:52:42Little things have a habit of becoming big things
00:52:44Just ask the boys on the swim team
00:52:50Where are you going?
00:52:51The driving test
00:52:51I love a good car crash
00:52:53Woo!
00:52:54Let's go!
00:52:56Wiener, you mess up
00:52:57You won't be driving anything, anytime, anywhere
00:53:00That means no car, no scooter, not even a shopping cart
00:53:02You got it?
00:53:09Bet you five bucks
00:53:10She hits three cones before the first turn
00:53:15You got this
00:53:17Okay, just
00:53:18A couple of turns
00:53:20It's easy peasy
00:53:23Saddle up
00:53:37At least one is to be believes
00:53:42I was looking for you
00:53:43I don't welcome
00:53:45I can
00:53:45I can
00:53:45I can
00:53:45I can
00:53:45I can
00:53:45I can
00:53:45Eu könnt
00:53:48I will
00:53:52You
00:53:53I can
00:53:53It's easy
00:53:56Thanks.
00:54:03Girlie, are you okay?
00:54:05Yeah, yeah. Great.
00:54:07Goldilocks, it appears to me that you are about three bears short of a bullet forage today, so why don't
00:54:10we just do this another time?
00:54:12But...
00:54:12Uh-uh. No.
00:54:14You fake.
00:54:16Please, Coach, just give me another chance.
00:54:18I know I have it in me.
00:54:20One!
00:54:21More try.
00:54:23Put it in!
00:54:50Final test.
00:54:52Parallel park it.
00:54:54You ace this, you win. Otherwise, it would be parallel parking you.
00:55:19Coach.
00:55:21You passed.
00:55:22I passed.
00:55:23You passed.
00:55:25I passed!
00:55:40You did it!
00:55:43You did it!
00:55:44You did it!
00:55:45You did it!
00:55:46You did it!
00:55:46You did it!
00:55:48You did it!
00:55:50Yes!
00:55:50What the hell?
00:56:05Something stinks.
00:56:06I had fish sticks for lunch.
00:56:08No, it's that Denise. She's done something to Billy to change him.
00:56:12I mean, Denise is kinda cute ever since she started wearing eyeliner.
00:56:16Rhonda!
00:56:16But you hate her, so I hate her.
00:56:21I still can't believe she's running for prom queen.
00:56:24I can, and we're both voting for her.
00:56:26We are?
00:56:28I mean, we are.
00:56:30Yeah.
00:56:31But why?
00:56:33I like to spell it as you.
00:56:34Oh, but we couldn't.
00:56:36Oh, but we could. We just have to get our hands on that slime.
00:57:00What?
00:57:06Welcome.
00:57:07No!
00:57:07Oh!
00:57:08Shh!
00:57:09Billy, it's just us!
00:57:11You're trying to give me a heart attack.
00:57:13No, I'm trying to get us not caught, okay?
00:57:16We're not supposed to be doing this in here.
00:57:17Alright guys, listen. It's almost 313.
00:57:19If we want this spell to work, we gotta do it right now.
00:57:22So come on, let's go.
00:57:24Let's go.
00:57:27Come on, get comfortable.
00:57:29Come on, sit down.
00:57:31Is this supposed to actually work?
00:57:33Sweetheart.
00:57:34A year ago, I hexed my father in to get me a Mustang and Beyonce tickets.
00:57:38Trust.
00:57:40Okay, bring your hands together.
00:57:41Let's go on.
00:57:43I'm about to take you for a mystical roller coaster ride.
00:57:46Ultimate Switch!
00:57:54Chew-choo!
00:57:56Chew-choo!
00:57:57Chew-choo!
00:58:01Did it work?
00:58:02No, I still have a penis.
00:58:04And I still don't.
00:58:05Shit!
00:58:06The universe is so fucking rude.
00:58:09Okay, well, it's official.
00:58:10We're never switching back, so...
00:58:11Hey, never say never.
00:58:13I'm not giving up on you.
00:58:16Or...
00:58:16Us.
00:58:18We'll make this work.
00:58:20It's so cute.
00:58:26What in the name of Joe Clark is going on in here?
00:58:32Step away from the witchcraft circle and explain yourselves.
00:58:35Now!
00:58:36First of all, it's not a witchcraft circle.
00:58:39It's an artisanal manifestation zone.
00:58:41I don't care what it is.
00:58:42Your little extracurricular seance is over.
00:58:45Uh, Principal Rainmaker, we were just...
00:58:46W-we were just...
00:58:47Wasting precious time.
00:58:49Do you know what time it is, Mr. Miller?
00:58:52It's now or another time!
00:58:54You've got twin trails starting in ten minutes.
00:58:56Hey, Ms. Wiener?
00:58:57Your science exam is about to begin.
00:58:59We need to go right now.
00:59:01Right, but what if we...
00:59:02What? No, what ifs?
00:59:03Look, just do your best, and...
00:59:06To me...
00:59:07You've already won.
00:59:10You mean it?
00:59:10No, more Dillia Dallia!
00:59:12Move!
00:59:17You don't pay me enough for this!
00:59:22Okay.
00:59:24So the rumor is, is that now it's a full experiment.
00:59:27So just...
00:59:27Trust your instincts, and...
00:59:30Periodic table's got you.
00:59:33Racing's like solving an equation.
00:59:34One step at a time, and focus.
00:59:36Okay, focused.
00:59:38Okay.
00:59:38One second at a time, just...
00:59:44I'm a bit scared.
00:59:46Me too.
00:59:47But you've got this.
00:59:49You've got this too.
00:59:51Marito!
00:59:52Marito!
00:59:52We love you in your seat-up!
00:59:54What, Aquaman?
00:59:55Time to make a splash.
00:59:56Yeah.
00:59:58Ms. Wiener!
00:59:58Your GPA is hanging by a 3.
01:00:00And it's fraying fast.
01:00:09Let's swim, boys!
01:00:10Let's go!
01:00:12Let's go!
01:00:12Let's go!
01:00:13Let's go!
01:00:14Let's go!
01:00:16Let's go!
01:00:21On your mark...
01:00:23And your time begins...
01:00:25Get set...
01:00:26Back!
01:00:39Let's go!
01:00:49You can forget MIT.
01:00:52Try beauty school.
01:00:58Holy smokes!
01:01:00All that training down the drain!
01:01:02The Titanic is better in the water than you are today.
01:01:06Coach!
01:01:07What's my time?
01:01:08The fastest!
01:01:09Woo!
01:01:10Yeah!
01:01:12I can't lose.
01:01:13Not like this!
01:01:21Coach! Coach!
01:01:23Let me try again.
01:01:25One more time.
01:01:26Focus, Ms. Wiener.
01:01:28One mistake, and it's all over with.
01:01:34One more.
01:01:35That's it.
01:01:36One more.
01:01:37One.
01:01:37One.
01:01:38One.
01:01:39Get up!
01:01:40Yeah.
01:01:41Get up!
01:01:41Get up!
01:01:44Okay.
01:01:48On your mark!
01:01:54Get set!
01:01:58Get set!
01:02:11Get set!
01:02:38Miss Wiener, that's genius.
01:02:40A plus work, always knew you had it, ain't you?
01:02:43No you didn't.
01:02:44You've been nothing but a jerk to me all day.
01:02:50Miller?
01:02:53You are Heiser High's new swim team captain.
01:02:57Yahoo!
01:02:58Let's go!
01:03:11Good job, Billy!
01:03:13Good job, Billy!
01:03:21Okay, how did it go?
01:03:23A plus.
01:03:23Yes!
01:03:24And how's your dingo?
01:03:25It was swim team captain.
01:03:27We did it!
01:03:29I guess we make a pretty good team.
01:03:31Maybe we're more than that.
01:03:42Billy!
01:03:44Congrats!
01:03:44I'm really proud of you.
01:03:48Vixen, you feeling okay?
01:03:50Denise, why keep fighting?
01:03:52We can just be friends.
01:03:53You?
01:03:54You wanna be friends with me?
01:03:55Of course, why wouldn't I?
01:03:57I honestly hope you win prom queen tonight.
01:03:59You do?
01:04:00It's gonna be a prom to remember you guys.
01:04:03Okay, we have to get to class.
01:04:08Why is she being so nice?
01:04:10It's like a shark offer and swim lesson.
01:04:12People can change, I guess.
01:04:18I mean, Billy did.
01:04:23So, maybe Vixen can too.
01:04:26Oh, about the question you asked earlier.
01:04:32I would love to go to prom with you.
01:04:36That is, if you still wanna go to prom with me.
01:04:43Uh, yes.
01:04:44Yes!
01:04:45Yes!
01:04:46I, I, it would, yes.
01:04:47It would be an honor to go to prom with you.
01:04:50Thank you for asking me.
01:04:52Vixen was sure right about one thing.
01:04:54It'll be a prom to remember.
01:04:59We still have to finish decorating for the prom.
01:05:02Come on.
01:05:03I thought it was this way.
01:05:04No, that's this way, Billy.
01:05:05That's right.
01:05:08It's all taken care of, guys.
01:05:09I left a few surprises in there for you to see tonight.
01:05:12Thanks, Bolt.
01:05:15Oh my god, what am I gonna wear?
01:05:16Should I borrow my mom's pantyhose?
01:05:18Oh my god, did you really say pantyhose?
01:05:21I'll dress both of you tonight.
01:05:23What would you do without me?
01:05:40Why does Sabotard weigh so much?
01:05:42Because revenge is worth its weight in slime.
01:05:46Are you sure about this?
01:05:48Before prom's over, Denise will be the nerdiest nerd that ever nerded.
01:05:51And what about Billy?
01:05:52He'll beg me to take him back and I'll be crowned queen.
01:05:54What do we do if anyone asks us about all this slime?
01:05:57We're just helping them decorate for prom.
01:06:35Wow, you, um, you look great.
01:06:38You look pretty handsome.
01:06:43Uh, can you believe that we made it here?
01:06:45Um, together.
01:06:48And we look good doing it.
01:06:50Yeah. Yeah, we do.
01:06:54Hey!
01:06:56Quiet!
01:06:57When I say, just do it, hold the bucket, no matter what.
01:07:01Just do it. Got it.
01:07:04I'll teach that snitch bitch to take my man.
01:07:06Mixing for the kill.
01:07:23As prom chairwoman, it's my duty to announce Heiser High's prom king and queen are...
01:07:30Kenny!
01:07:40Denise Wiener and Billy Miller.
01:08:18See you next time.
01:08:33Before our prom queen, queen, kiss, I think there's something everybody here needs to see.
01:08:48What is it?
01:08:50What's happening?
01:08:51No!
01:08:52Oh my god, Kenny, this is crazy!
01:08:55Oh my god, this is embarrassing.
01:08:57She's gonna probably be alone her entire life, her and her 950 cats.
01:09:02Denise, Denise, what's going on?
01:09:03How could you share this with everyone?
01:09:08Denise, I'm so sorry.
01:09:11Hey, hey, hey.
01:09:13You know, that's not who I am anymore.
01:09:14You know, like hell it is.
01:09:16Okay, and I'm so stupid to think that you would change in a day.
01:09:18I didn't fall in love with you.
01:09:23Excuse me.
01:09:25Wait, Denise!
01:09:26I guess we're not bulletproof.
01:09:30But we look so good on paper.
01:09:46Actually, I want everyone to listen.
01:09:49Everything I thought I was...
01:09:54It's all a lie.
01:09:59Bullying doesn't make you strong.
01:10:05Just alone.
01:10:19I've spent my whole life fitting into other people's expectations for me.
01:10:24I've become a totally new person.
01:10:28Someone totally different from when we first met in third grade.
01:10:33Today, everything changed.
01:10:35And I've become the person that I've always wanted to be.
01:10:40And it's all because I fell in love with you.
01:10:46I need to know.
01:10:50Do you love me too?
01:11:02Please, please, please let this work.
01:11:04This is what you all know for real this time.
01:11:06I need to know.
01:11:06I need to know.
01:11:07Please.
01:11:19No!
01:11:21No!
01:11:21No!
01:11:31No!
01:11:34No!
01:11:36No!
01:11:45Wait, niece is dressed like a guy, and Billy's dressed like a girl?
01:11:50This night sucks.
01:11:53Nothing's going as planned at all.
01:11:54Uh, right bodies.
01:11:56Wrong outfit.
01:11:58I don't know.
01:12:00You look pretty cute in my tux.
01:12:04This is the saddest thing I've ever seen.
01:12:08You're really going to throw away your reputation for this ugly nerd?
01:12:12She's nothing.
01:12:13She's pathetic.
01:12:14No, Vixen, you're wrong.
01:12:17Denise is not nothing.
01:12:19She's incredible.
01:12:21Honestly, all of us are the pathetic ones, because we were too dumb to notice it.
01:12:26And me.
01:12:28I was too dumb to notice it.
01:12:32But I do now.
01:12:33I see you.
01:12:34You're perfect.
01:12:38And for the record, Vixen, Denise is far prettier than you ever will be.
01:12:44And not just because she has a beautiful face, but because she has a beautiful heart.
01:12:49Can't say the same about you now, can we?
01:12:50No, please, I'm going to bomb it.
01:12:52You're just a loser, Billy Miller.
01:12:53And you?
01:12:54I don't even know what you are.
01:12:57Loser.
01:12:57She's a loser.
01:12:58You already lost, Vixen.
01:13:00School's almost over.
01:13:03There's a new queen in town.
01:13:05And she has her king.
01:13:12Stop!
01:13:12You can't do this to me!
01:13:14Stop!
01:13:14Why are you cheering for her?
01:13:15Stop!
01:13:16Stop cheering for her!
01:13:17You can't be doing this to me!
01:13:19Stop it!
01:13:20You can't do it!
01:13:22You can't do it!
01:13:23Just do it.
01:13:24Those are the magic leaves.
01:13:37No, not me!
01:13:39I hope it's in.
01:13:42You can't laugh at me!
01:13:43I'm the most popular girl at Highs or High!
01:13:45Will someone get that tacky, washed up, non-popular girl off the stage, please?
01:13:49She's really icky.
01:13:51Fuck you, Bolt!
01:13:52And fuck you, Billy!
01:13:53And fuck you, Denise!
01:13:54Fuck you, Rhonda, for screwing up my whole plan!
01:13:56And fuck you, Penny!
01:13:58Get out of my way here!
01:13:59Move, now!
01:13:59In fact, all you fuckers at Highs or Highs can all go fuck yourselves!
01:14:03Seriously, Miss Dior, the only person who's gonna fuck herself is you!
01:14:09You're officially suspended.
01:14:10Now get off my stage and get out of my school!
01:14:13Ah!
01:14:20Get out of my way!
01:14:31And what are y'all clapping about?
01:14:33Get back to dancing!
01:14:48I guess next one just got a little taste of her own medicine.
01:14:51Yeah, about damn time, too.
01:14:54I literally must have been clinically insane to have ever actually liked her.
01:15:00And Denise, I'm so sorry about everything that I've done.
01:15:05Genuinely, like, I can't say it enough.
01:15:07I'm so sorry.
01:15:09It's okay.
01:15:11I'm sorry, too.
01:15:12And I forgive you for everything.
01:15:16And I mean that.
01:15:22Mr. Miller!
01:15:23Miss Wiener!
01:15:24You two both are in big, big trouble!
01:15:29What?
01:15:30Why?
01:15:30What the hell did we do?
01:15:31Did we not decorate the gym for prom like you asked?
01:15:33That's why you in trouble.
01:15:34No one will ever make prom look so beautiful.
01:15:37Oh, my God.
01:15:39Okay, so we're not expelled?
01:15:41Nope.
01:15:42And I'm writing you two letters of recommendation.
01:15:45Hey, Miller!
01:15:46I want to make sure that you get a scholarship, but, uh, maybe, uh, lose the dress, pink ain't
01:15:53really your color, son.
01:15:55Hey, yeah.
01:15:56Yes, coach.
01:15:56Right away.
01:15:57Coach, actually.
01:15:59Good work, you two.
01:16:02So, what college do you want to go to?
01:16:06Um, hopefully whichever one you're at.
01:16:11Hey, could we do that thing again?
01:16:15What, swap bodies?
01:16:16No.
01:16:19Yeah.
01:16:20There are always reasons, even in the coldest season.
01:16:24I'll take your heart and I'm freezing.
01:16:28And there are always sun pools along the way, just let go.
01:16:32Life is no place for an almost.
01:16:36We were all together.
01:16:39I know.
01:16:40Oh, oh, oh.
01:16:41Just like the sword and the storm.
01:16:43Oh, oh.
01:16:44Oh, oh.
01:16:45Oh.
01:16:45Oh, oh, oh.
01:16:45Oh, oh.
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