- 13 minutes ago
My Father Thought I Was Nothing—Until He Heard My Thoughts
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00:00For five years, my tongue has been struck thousands of times.
00:03My father hasn't visited in five years.
00:06All because I am five years old and still cannot speak.
00:09Then, one day, by accident, he heard me.
00:13The Hale family name, after all, does not permit a mute heiress.
00:18Since the day I was born, the East Wing has been no different from a prison.
00:22Only one servant, Patterson, delivers our meals and the punishment.
00:28The strikes are guaranteed. The food is not.
00:31This morning, only half a bowl of cold porridge.
00:35My mother gives me most of hers. I take it.
00:39If I don't, she feels worse.
00:42Tonight, the estate lights up for Sophia's birthday.
00:45No one remembers us.
00:47I slip into the garden. There are berries on the south wall.
00:50I saw them in a book once.
00:52I climb up, my short legs pushing against the trunk.
00:56I manage to pick a small bunch.
00:58They are round and dark.
01:00I rub one against my sleeve.
01:02My stomach hurts from hunger.
01:04I close my eyes and put it in my mouth.
01:10My stomach hurts from hunger.
01:12I close my eyes and put it in my mouth.
01:14A hand grabs my shoulder.
01:17I spit it out, coughing.
01:18I turn around, furious.
01:21A young man, tall.
01:24Wearing a dark coat.
01:25Expensive, I can tell.
01:27His face is even more striking than his clothes.
01:30I stare with my mouth open.
01:37Those are poisonous.
01:39He uses his sleeve silk, probably worth more than our room, to wipe my mouth.
01:44I think he's laughing at me.
01:46But his hands are gentle.
01:48I decide to be generous and not be mad.
01:51He pinches my cheek.
01:52His expression is strange.
01:55What did you just say?
01:57Rude.
01:57I don't speak.
01:59I grab the silver nameplate hanging from my neck and hold it up to his face.
02:03Why do I hear her voice in my head?
02:06Why do I hear her voice in my head?
02:09Everyone on this estate knows who I am.
02:14Lily.
02:16Right.
02:17I'll walk you back.
02:18He picks me up.
02:19I struggle.
02:21I'm not dangerous.
02:22I'm your uncle.
02:24Your father's brother.
02:25I've heard about him.
02:26I wish my father's brother wasn't this good looking.
02:29Now I don't know how to stay mad at my father.
02:31He almost trips.
02:33His arms tighten around me.
02:34I find a comfortable spot against his chest.
02:37He's warm.
02:38He carries me all the way to the east wing door.
02:41He touches my cheek once.
02:43Then he leaves.
02:44I step inside.
02:46Patterson is waiting.
02:47She shoves me so hard I hit the floor.
02:50My arm stings where I caught myself.
02:53I blink, trying to catch up to what just happened.
03:03My arm stings where I caught myself.
03:06I blink, trying to catch up to what just happened.
03:08Are you alright, my love?
03:09Patterson answers before I can move.
03:11Nothing.
03:12She fell.
03:13I glare at her.
03:14It crouches down.
03:16The whole estate is busy with the birthday.
03:19No one's coming to check on you.
03:21She's right.
03:22It's been like this for five years.
03:25I get up and run for the door.
03:27Patterson grabs me.
03:28I twist away.
03:30The courtyard is empty.
03:32My uncle is gone.
03:33Patterson catches me by the arm.
03:35She drags me back inside and locks the gate.
03:37Even if you found someone, what would you do?
03:40You can't tell them anything.
03:43A mute who can't even complain.
03:45I'm not the one with the problem here.
03:48I bite her arm, hon.
03:50She screams.
03:51She tries to shake me off.
03:53I don't let go.
03:54I taste blood.
03:55My mother is at the door.
03:57If you dare to hurt her, I will tell Mr. Marcus everything.
04:02You can't even get close enough to tell him.
04:06A rod comes down.
04:07My mother throws herself in front of me.
04:10It hits her shoulder instead.
04:12The sound is wrong.
04:14That sound should not come from my mother.
04:16I try to push her away.
04:18The rod hits my hands.
04:20My fingers swell.
04:21I can't even scream.
04:22Then I see the gate break open.
04:28Security holds Patterson down behind them.
04:31A man in a dark suit walks in.
04:33Walsh.
04:34My mother whispers, the head of the estate.
04:37Father's man.
04:38Walsh hears Patterson scream.
04:40He doesn't ask questions.
04:42He points.
04:43Take her.
04:44He turns to us.
04:45His voice softens.
04:47I will report this.
04:49I nod, but I don't believe him.
04:52Things like this have been happening for five years.
04:54If my father wanted to know, he would have known by now.
04:58But he saved my mother.
04:59I reach for his hand.
05:00In his palm, I trace two characters.
05:04His eyes soften.
05:05You're too kind.
05:07Better days are coming.
05:08I don't understand why he says that.
05:10But I feel like he means it.
05:12Then something strange happens.
05:14The tongue punishment stops.
05:16Medicine arrives for my mother.
05:19New staff appear.
05:20Four of them.
05:21All polite.
05:22Three meals a day.
05:24Hot enough.
05:25I've never had this much food.
05:27I eat until my stomach is full.
05:29My mother watches me, smiling.
05:32But her eyes are careful.
05:33She knows something I don't.
05:35At sunset, Vanessa and Sophia arrive at our door.
05:39Vanessa's face is sweet.
05:41Sophia is taller than me, even though she's younger.
05:44I finally understand.
05:46This was never for us.
05:48It was for them.
05:52Vanessa takes my mother's hand.
05:56Sister, we'll be staying here now.
05:58Sophia looks at me with her chin up.
06:00I want to be friendly.
06:02I find my favorite white rabbit figurine and a small note that says, nice to meet you.
06:08I hold them out to Sophia.
06:10She looks at them like they're trash.
06:12Her hand twitches.
06:13She wants to throw them on the ground.
06:16Vanessa touches her shoulder once.
06:19Sophia shoves the gifts into her pocket without looking at me.
06:24My mother gives Vanessa pearl earrings.
06:27Her last valuable thing.
06:29You're welcome.
06:30Vanessa takes them with a smile.
06:32I walk past the room.
06:34The door is open.
06:36Why would I play with a mute?
06:38She's nothing.
06:39Your brother is coming soon.
06:40Then we won't need anyone else.
06:42I stand very still.
06:44I understand now.
06:46Their smiles were never for us.
06:48The servant finds me.
06:50Miss Lily, your uncle is waiting in the garden.
07:01I run to the garden.
07:03My uncle is waiting by the old oak tree.
07:05He hands me a kite.
07:06An angel hand painted.
07:08Made it.
07:09I hug it tight.
07:10He looks at my face.
07:12You're upset.
07:14I can tell them to leave.
07:15Just say the word.
07:16I write in the dirt.
07:17I write quickly.
07:18Number, it's fine.
07:20This way mom and I get enough food.
07:21He's quiet for a moment.
07:24What if those new staff members were sent by your father?
07:28I shake my head.
07:29He's never even met me.
07:32Do you hate him?
07:33He asks.
07:34I think about it.
07:36I write.
07:37How can you hate someone you've never met?
07:39He stares at the words for a long time.
07:41Then he stands up.
07:43I think I said something wrong.
07:45He walks away without looking back.
07:48That night, I make a rabbit lantern from paper.
07:51I'll give it to him next time.
07:53As an apology.
07:54I'm five years old.
07:56I can learn to be patient with adults.
07:58But he doesn't come back.
08:10Two months pass.
08:12New staff come and go.
08:14Always to Vanessa's room.
08:16I sit by my window.
08:17Watching.
08:18I knew it.
08:20Vanessa is pregnant.
08:21One afternoon, a servant comes to my room with a bolt of fabric.
08:26Platinum silk brocade expensive.
08:28For new dresses.
08:30By order of Mr. Hale.
08:31I touch the fabric.
08:32I've never had fabric this nice.
08:35My mother used to cut her own clothes to make mine.
08:38This winter, she won't have to be cold.
08:40The servant leaves with the fabric.
08:42I hear Sophia's voice in the hallway.
08:44Where is that fabric going?
08:46To Miss Lily, miss.
08:48It was sent by...
08:49Sophia snatches the bolt from her hands.
08:52She examines it.
08:54Then she tears it.
08:55The silk rips.
08:57Lily doesn't get nice things.
08:59I run out.
09:00I grab the fabric.
09:02She pulls back.
09:03We both hold on.
09:05You're stealing from me.
09:07She yells.
09:08She shoves me.
09:09I fall.
09:10The fabric drops.
09:12Sophia steps on it.
09:14Her shoe grinds into the silk.
09:17Threads pull loose.
09:18Dirt stains the platinum.
09:23My mother appears at the door.
09:25What happened?
09:27Sophia's face changes.
09:28She runs toward Vanessa.
09:30Crying, Vanessa comes out slowly.
09:33Kids will be kids.
09:35I unfold the ruined fabric.
09:36I show everyone.
09:38The dirt.
09:39Vanessa's smile disappears.
09:41What do you want me to do about it?
09:43An apology.
09:44Vanessa looks at our room.
09:46At the small table.
09:47The empty walls.
09:48Then she looks at my mother.
09:50I was going to be polite.
09:52She says.
09:53Since you're older?
09:55But since you want to make this difficult?
09:57Move out.
10:03My mother's voice is quiet.
10:06I outrank you.
10:07Vanessa touches her stomach.
10:09Not for long.
10:11She waves her hand.
10:12Staff pour into our room.
10:14They throw our blankets into the mud.
10:16They carry out our few belongings and dump them in the yard.
10:20I try to stop them.
10:22I'm too small.
10:23I keep getting pushed aside.
10:25Sophia watches from the doorway.
10:27Vanessa turns away.
10:30When I come back, I expect everything moved in.
10:33I pick up our things, one by one.
10:36My mother stands in the yard, very still.
10:38Then she takes my hand.
10:40Come on, she says.
10:43We go to Vanessa's rooms first.
10:46Vanessa's face is full of sympathy.
10:48I understand.
10:50But she's pregnant.
10:52Just wait a few months.
10:54Wait a few months?
10:55That's not help.
10:56My mother doesn't argue.
10:58She takes me to the main house.
11:00My father's study.
11:01Walsh is outside.
11:03He sees us.
11:04His face shifts surprise.
11:06Then something else.
11:07This is Hale.
11:08Miss Lily.
11:09Timing isn't.
11:10The door shifts.
11:11I see through the gap.
11:13Sophia is inside.
11:15She's sitting on my father's knee.
11:17She's laughing.
11:18My mother's face goes pale.
11:20She crouches down to my height.
11:23She crouches down to my height.
11:23Her voice is steady.
11:25But her hands are shaking.
11:31I shake my head hard.
11:33It's not her fault.
11:34It's his.
11:36Walsh is called inside.
11:39When he comes out, he's smiling.
11:41Go back to the east wing.
11:43See for yourselves.
11:44We walk back slowly.
11:46The yard is clean.
11:48The blankets are back inside.
11:50There's a new rug.
11:51New furniture.
11:52Warm food on the table.
11:53The new head servant bows.
11:55Mr. Hale's orders.
11:56The east wing is yours.
11:59Sophia and Vanessa return.
12:01Vanessa's smile is back.
12:03Brighter than before.
12:06Sister.
12:08Reaching for my mother's arm.
12:10All a misunderstanding.
12:11Stay out of our way.
12:12My mother pulls away.
12:14Vanessa's smile doesn't move.
12:16But her eyes go cold.
12:17Of course.
12:19Sophia hides behind Vanessa's legs.
12:21She glares at me.
12:23She doesn't say a word.
12:31That night, the servant finds me.
12:35Your uncle, the garden.
12:38I grab my rabbit lantern and run.
12:41He's waiting by the oak tree.
12:43He looks tired.
12:49I heard what happened.
12:51I nod.
12:53I start to write on my notepad.
12:55Then I stop.
12:57I write.
12:58Was that you today?
13:00He has a time.
13:01More or less.
13:04I hold on tight.
13:06I think if my uncle was my father, things would be different.
13:12He pats my back slowly.
13:14When I'm almost asleep, he asks.
13:18What do you want him to do?
13:22I think about it.
13:23I don't have an answer.
13:25I just want him to be there sometimes.
13:27Once in a while, it's a small thing.
13:30I don't write it down.
13:31I pretend I'm too tired to answer.
13:34He carries me back to the east wing.
13:36I pretend to sleep the whole way.
13:38After that, I still meet in the garden sometimes.
13:42Not always in the pavilion.
13:44Sometimes he climbs trees with me.
13:46We're lucky.
13:47No one ever sees us.
13:49Things get better.
13:50New staff come to the east wing.
13:52Ones who know how to cook medicine food.
13:54My mother gets stronger.
13:56One autumn afternoon, I take the kite he gave me into the yard.
14:00A phoenix, hand-painted.
14:03It catches the wind and rises.
14:05I'm watching it fly when Vanessa steps out of her room.
14:08She looks up.
14:09Her face goes pale.
14:10She grabs her stomach and makes a sound I've never heard before.
14:14Blood pools under my shirt.
14:16Doctors come.
14:18Servants run in and out with me.
14:20I'll take the kite.
14:22Vanessa points at my kite.
14:24It wasn't an angel.
14:25It was a curse.
14:28A bird that kills baby.
14:33Diana is called to oversee.
14:35She tries to calm Vanessa down.
14:38But Vanessa won't stop.
14:40A child like that.
14:42Born broken.
14:43Of course she's evil.
14:44Why?
14:44Ask her where she got it.
14:46I write the truth.
14:47My uncle gave it to me.
14:48The room goes very quiet.
14:50My mother goes pale.
14:52She kneels.
14:52Lily never lies.
14:53Someone must have tricked her.
14:55We need to investigate.
14:56Diana shakes her head slowly.
14:58I'm sorry.
14:59There's nothing I can do.
15:00I don't understand.
15:01Vanessa's voice comes from the bed.
15:04Didn't your mother tell you?
15:05Men from outside don't own to the palace.
15:07I freeze.
15:09My uncle isn't real.
15:10Then who was that man?
15:12The one who talked to me.
15:13Who gave me the kite.
15:15Who walked away because of something I wrote.
15:17For one second, I almost believed them.
15:20But deep down, you know, he wasn't bad.
15:23Even if he lied.
15:25While I'm frozen, Vanessa gets out of bed.
15:28She turns to Diana.
15:30A curse like that.
15:32An adult must have helped her.
15:34Her mother.
15:36Arrest them both.
15:37Diana touches her fingers to her lips.
15:39She looks like she's about to agree.
15:41Yes.
15:42And then a voice turns to the doorway.
15:44The kite was mine.
15:45I gave it to her.
15:49Everyone turns.
15:50The man in the doorway wears a dark suit.
15:53No one speaks.
15:54But when he walks in, the room gets smaller.
15:57Are you saying that I curse my own child?
16:00It's my uncle.
16:02Everyone in the room drops to their knees.
16:04My mother pulls me down with her.
16:06I can't stop staring.
16:08My uncle.
16:09It is my father.
16:10He doesn't look at the people on the floor.
16:12He walks straight to me.
16:14Pulls me up.
16:15I'm scared.
16:16He glances at my mother.
16:18She keeps her head down.
16:20Won't look at him.
16:21He picks me up and sits in the main chair.
16:23He examines the kite.
16:25It's an angel.
16:26I made it for her.
16:28Diana wipes her forehead.
16:29Tries to smile.
16:31And it's a misunderstanding.
16:32Vanessa's fall must have been an accident.
16:34She just needs rest.
16:35Stop.
16:36You run things here.
16:37If there's doubt about what happened to Vanessa's baby, investigate it.
16:40Call the doctors.
16:44The doctors come back.
16:45They bring records.
16:47The medicine logs from the past month.
16:49The prescription never changed.
16:51With the leftover medicine in the pot.
16:53The color is different.
16:55The doctor falls to his knees.
16:56Says he didn't know.
16:58The trail leads to the servant who boiled the medicine.
17:01She's taken away.
17:02Vanessa and the doctor lose three months of pay.
17:05My father handles it fast.
17:07The room is silent.
17:08He pokes my cheek with his finger.
17:10Still mad at me?
17:12I blink.
17:13I blink.
17:14I wasn't mad.
17:14He's the one who walked away that day.
17:16But I shake my head.
17:17He puts me down.
17:18Ruffles my hair.
17:19Go with you, mother.
17:21We walk back to the east wing.
17:23My mother breathes out slowly.
17:24Then she asks me,
17:26How did I meet him?
17:27I write it down.
17:29I show her with my hands.
17:30For a second.
17:31Her eyes go soft.
17:33Then her face closes again.
17:36Lily, remember.
17:37The same man didn't come near us for five years.
17:40How you feel about him is up to you.
17:43But don't get hurt again.
17:45I nod.
17:46I think I understand.
17:51I start to feel like a real daughter.
17:53My father comes almost every day.
17:56He brings silk dresses, ribbons.
17:58A music box that plays when you open it.
18:01People start to whisper that my mother might be the lady of the house one day.
18:05But I notice something.
18:07Every time he comes, my mother finds a reason to leave.
18:11Every time she's there, he finds a reason to look away.
18:15They never stay in the same room.
18:17I don't understand it.
18:19So I go to find my brother.
18:21Noah is ten.
18:22They say he's a troublemaker now.
18:24Always laughing.
18:25Never working.
18:27When I find him, his tutor is making him stand in the corner.
18:31Noah just grins.
18:32Then he sees me at the window.
18:35His face changes.
18:37He walks out before the lesson ends.
18:40He grabs my arm.
18:42Pulls me to an empty path.
18:47Is mom okay?
18:49I shake my head.
18:50I write.
18:51Mom is fine.
18:53Why does dad keep avoiding her?
18:55He relaxes a little.
18:57Then he frowns.
18:58That's not your job.
19:00Just take care of yourself and mom.
19:02I write.
19:03Then why haven't you come to see us in five years?
19:07He sighs.
19:10Diana appears at the end of the path.
19:13His face changes again.
19:15Lily!
19:17Can't even do her own homework.
19:19Diana walks over.
19:21Her eyes move between us.
19:23What brings you here?
19:25I pull out a fresh page.
19:27Right.
19:28I needed help with a word.
19:30She smiles.
19:32Which one?
19:34I write feast.
19:35She watches as Noah teaches me.
19:38When she finally leaves,
19:40he shoves a folded paper into my hand
19:43and walks away.
19:46I wait until midnight.
19:49I wrap myself in my coat and sneak out.
19:56The garden is empty and cold.
19:58Noah is already there.
20:00Dressed in dark clothes.
20:03Quick.
20:06Diana has been watching mom for years.
20:08The fire at Vanessa's room?
20:11That wasn't an accident.
20:12Diana said she was going to blame someone else.
20:16I stare at him.
20:18I act like this on purpose.
20:20So she doesn't watch me.
20:22So I can watch her.
20:23Tell mom I'm not what they say.
20:25I know what I'm doing.
20:27Hmm.
20:27Hmm.
20:29I walk back slowly.
20:31My chest is heavy.
20:32I didn't know he was carrying all this alone.
20:35Near the east wing,
20:36I see someone slip out of Vanessa's building.
20:40A servant.
20:41Carrying something.
20:42Too dark to see.
20:44I hide behind a pillar
20:45and watch her disappear.
20:49The servant was carrying something
20:50that looked like a bottle.
20:52But it was too dark to be sure.
20:54I wait until morning.
20:55Then I go to Vanessa's wing to see.
20:58Sophia sees me first.
20:59She waves her hands like I'm a bird
21:02she wants to chase away.
21:03What do you want?
21:06I pull out my notebook, right?
21:07My mother sent me to check
21:09if your heating is working.
21:10She doesn't even read it.
21:12It's fine.
21:13Go away!
21:14I write another line.
21:15Is it the right setting?
21:16She glances at it.
21:18Yes!
21:18Yes!
21:19Now go!
21:20She pushes me out
21:21and closes the door.
21:23My stomach feels tight.
21:24Maybe I imagined it last night.
21:27In the morning,
21:28I tell my mother.
21:29She checks our heating.
21:30She checks our food.
21:32Nothing wrong.
21:32Maybe I'm just nervous
21:34after what Noah told me.
21:35I go back to my room.
21:37Then I hear it.
21:39A scream from Vanessa's wing.
21:41Then the servant's voices.
21:43Loud and screaming.
21:48Fire! Fire!
21:49Someone call 911, please!
21:52Fire!
21:52Fire!
21:52Fire!
21:52Fire!
21:52Fire!
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