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00:06He is the king of underground comedy, Dr. Cam Williams.
00:46First of all, let me say thank you so much for this.
00:49I appreciate this, my whole motherfucking journey.
00:54My whole journey started South Florida, 1995.
01:01So the fact that this is where we are, full circle, I appreciate this.
01:08This how I know I'm the greatest comic living.
01:14Because I got the best audience everywhere.
01:18Some people, some people have a couple stars come.
01:21We have all the stars come out.
01:25And tonight is no exception.
01:28It's dark in here, y'all can't even see who in here.
01:33You gonna be shocked.
01:36Where's all the white people in the building make some noise, white people?
01:40What?
01:42In this administration, still hanging with niggas.
01:47We appreciate that, white friends.
01:50You knew it was gonna be diverse and equal and inclusive.
01:54You came anyway.
01:56Mm-hmm.
01:57Some of y'all gonna go to heaven just for that.
02:00When you get up there, it's gonna be on the checklist.
02:02Did you hang with niggas?
02:04Yep.
02:07Where's all the Hispanics in the building?
02:09Where's me, familia?
02:12Buenos noches.
02:15I want y'all to know y'all are safe.
02:19In this building tonight.
02:22There will be no ice in this building of any kind.
02:26Just the ice I'm wearing, that is it.
02:30I told them, don't even put ice in the drinks.
02:34I want everybody to feel comfortable.
02:37Last but not least, the core of my very existence.
02:42Where's all the black people in the building make some noise, black people?
02:51Whoo!
02:54Battery in the back.
02:57And the most important creation in all the known universe.
03:03Where's the ladies in the building make some noise?
03:07Oh!
03:11Yeah.
03:13Y'all are the reason Florida is Florida.
03:17Florida is known for orange juice and great pussy.
03:21And orange juice gave up a long time ago.
03:25Cause the pussy's that good.
03:29Yeah.
03:31My new shit.
03:32Giving credit.
03:34Not making people wait.
03:36If you doing a great job going into 2026,
03:39we gonna announce you doing a great job.
03:42So that you know it.
03:44And you can keep up the good work.
03:46Cause some of y'all doing great.
03:48You don't even know you doing great.
03:50You don't even know.
03:52Ladies have been kicking ass all across the motherfucking globe.
03:57And people ain't saying shit.
04:00Women have flipped the script.
04:04Let her cook.
04:06Let her cook.
04:07Let me cook to her.
04:10Never gave a damn.
04:11I ain't never gave no-
04:12That's the good pussy dance.
04:16Women have been doing a great job all across the globe.
04:19Not some women.
04:20All women.
04:22They handle certain shit.
04:24There's no such thing as a woman saying,
04:26I don't have no eyelashes.
04:30Let her cook.
04:31I don't give a fuck if she's starving to death.
04:33She got lashes.
04:36They might not even be the right species.
04:39She got a mountain alpaca and a desert llama together.
04:42They don't even go together in nature.
04:46Women did that shit.
04:47No group chats.
04:49No emails.
04:50Just one woman helping another woman.
04:53Did you know that stinking pussy
04:57is a thing of the past?
05:00Let her cook.
05:02Let me cook to her.
05:06Never gave a damn.
05:07I ain't never gave no-
05:08You can waft it when it smells nice.
05:1125 years ago, stinking pussy was everywhere.
05:16You couldn't walk down the street without smelling tuna fish.
05:22Not today.
05:24Women are fresh.
05:28No more stanky pussy.
05:32There's a man in here right now,
05:35sitting with the last stanky pussy in Florida.
05:39He trying to get my attention.
05:41I won't look at him.
05:43Let her cook.
05:45Oh.
05:46Let her cook to her.
05:49Never gave a damn.
05:50I ain't never-
05:54No, I'm just saying.
05:56A lot of people doing a great job.
05:58They don't even know it.
06:00Watch this.
06:01Where's everybody 35 and over?
06:04Make some noise.
06:0535 and over.
06:10Y'all don't know how special y'all are.
06:14100 years from now, they gonna be writing books about you motherfuckers.
06:18How the fuck did y'all do this shit?
06:22Did you know if you 35 and over, did you know that you look better than anybody who has ever
06:29been your age in the history of humankind?
06:33What the fuck?
06:36Y'all look good.
06:40You know you look good.
06:41Some of y'all grandmothers at 29, bitch.
06:44You know the fuck you look good.
06:47Your grandmama still got her baby hair?
06:54You 35 and over, you have done it.
06:56You have already lived one life.
06:59If it was a good life, put it in the books.
07:02If it was fucked up, put it behind you and start all over again.
07:07At 63, bitch.
07:09You can do it.
07:12Here's the future.
07:14Where's 35 and under?
07:16Make some noise.
07:1635 and under.
07:18Yes, we love y'all.
07:21Mmm.
07:22We are counting on y'all.
07:25All y'all gotta do is don't fuck up like we just fucked up in front of you.
07:29That's it.
07:32Certain simple shit, you don't even have to try.
07:35Like if you under 35, you can't afford to do no drugs at all.
07:41Just smoke weed.
07:42It's the only thing you can trust.
07:46You don't believe me?
07:47Easter and 420 was on the same day that you hear this.
07:51That's Jesus inviting me personally.
07:58Weed is the only thing you can trust.
08:00Back in the day they used to say drugs was fun and dangerous.
08:03Now they done took the fun the fuck out.
08:06It's just and dangerous.
08:09Can't do meth or molly and make your gums long and your teeth short.
08:13What the fuck you gonna do with that?
08:15You can't even take selfies, bitch.
08:19Can't do the fentanyl, you'll die.
08:22Can't drink the lean.
08:24It eat up your liver and your spleen.
08:27And your esophagus.
08:29Look at my white friends.
08:31That is not your esophagus, Kat.
08:33You are doing so good.
08:36Just saying they know these drugs is too strong.
08:40They just too strong.
08:43They got a rapper that's a thousand pounds.
08:45He addicted to lean.
08:47I can't put it down the cup.
08:48I can't put it down the cup.
08:52I can't put it down the cup.
08:54He can't put down the cup.
08:56Or the plate.
08:57Or the spoon or the fork.
09:00They too strong.
09:02Speaking of too strong.
09:03Look at that stool.
09:08The stool is like, you got to be shitting me.
09:11You gonna do the whole song on me, baby?
09:15Take it down before he made me pay for his weight loss street, let's say.
09:22Just making a point.
09:26This next question I'm gonna ask y'all is the most important question in the whole universe.
09:34I've been broke and I've been rich.
09:36This is the only thing that matters.
09:39Make some noise if you are relatively healthy right now.
09:43If you got your health.
09:45If you got a God, you should thank him.
09:49That's all that matters.
09:50It's your motherfucking health.
09:52I don't give a fuck if you got a billion dollars.
09:55If you are throwing up and shitting at the same time.
09:58You are broke, bitch.
10:02Yeah.
10:03Your health is what motherfucking matters.
10:06And it don't take nothing for that motherfucker to leave.
10:10I thought I was strong than a motherfucker.
10:13I found out I'm not even a little bit strong.
10:18I got hit by two kidney stones.
10:23You know about a kidney stone?
10:26That motherfucker is a crippler.
10:28I didn't know what the fuck happened to me.
10:31I was asleep and woke up to two kidney stones.
10:35Both my legs shut off.
10:38I was just at the end of the bed, shaped like a pretzel.
10:41Saying, not in my pajamas, Jesus.
10:46I didn't know what to tell the doctor.
10:47I think I peed two firecrackers.
10:53Take care of your motherfucking health.
10:56Speaking of health.
10:58Whoever been naming these new medications.
11:02You are kicking ass.
11:04Keep up the good work.
11:06It's good for white people and niggas.
11:09All of these new medications sound like some shit you want to take.
11:14My commercial, I heard, Ren Vulcan.
11:18I don't even know what that cure, bitch, but I don't mind ordering that at Walgreens.
11:23Where's my Ren Vulcan?
11:26Sound like something you named your penis.
11:27You ready for the Ren Vulcan?
11:30Hit it with the R-R-U, kid.
11:35All the names is cool.
11:37The next one was Sky Rizzy.
11:40Bitch, that's flying shit.
11:42That was my nickname in middle school, Sky Rizzy.
11:46Because I would do a skyhook and look at girls.
11:52The best one is Trim Fire.
11:55That was my nickname for hot pussy.
11:57I love Trim Fire.
11:59She got that Trim Fire!
12:03But even they drugs is too strong.
12:07I told y'all three years ago, Ozempic had Hollywood in a chokehold.
12:15I ain't lie.
12:17Y'all seen Oprah?
12:19She got the body of a 12-year-old boy.
12:22She ain't never even been a 12-year-old boy.
12:26That shit is strong.
12:30Gail looked like she ain't had a bowel movement since she came back from space.
12:35Her and the wig looked confused.
12:44Lil' Ren said he didn't even take Ozempic. He just heard about it.
12:49He went down to his baby weight.
12:53You a nine pound, six ounce?
12:57Nigga's built like a cricket now.
13:01How did you lose weight in your head, knees?
13:06Shoulders and toes, shoulders and toes.
13:13Five years ago, we talked about the side effect being worse than the shit they were curing.
13:19This month, I heard this.
13:22The medication for eczema said the side effect is severe skin reactions.
13:34Bitch, that's what the fuck I came to you for!
13:38You took away my eczema and gave me shingles, spit, shot, and still itching.
13:49It's gonna get worse.
13:53I'm gonna say everything I'm not supposed to say tonight.
13:57Just so you know.
14:00The world has changed.
14:04The world has motherfucking changed.
14:06Used to be...
14:07Used to be you told a story, people would be like, is that true?
14:11Now they don't give a fuck if it's true.
14:14Is it derogatory?
14:18Yes, bitch, it probably is derogatory.
14:21But it's true, though.
14:24I just had to tell my people what the fuck is really going on.
14:27And we are living in a special time.
14:30I mean, a special fucking time.
14:32Like, you can really do anything right about now.
14:35I don't give a fuck what's wrong with you.
14:37You can fucking make it.
14:38Like, even if you cross-eyed, you can make it.
14:43Did you understand that even if you cross-eyed?
14:49Take that down before I get a knock on my door.
14:57That man is the director of the FBI.
15:04He can do that, you can do any of that.
15:08Cross-eyed and the director of the FBI?
15:12You can't even be an eyewitness.
15:24He working on everybody's case.
15:27He could work on my case.
15:29I'd be right in front of the judge.
15:30Your Honor, he looks distracted.
15:37I was talking about health.
15:41The most important health is your motherfucking mental health.
15:45How the fuck is you doing up here?
15:47Make some noise if you're doing good up here.
15:50That's what the fuck matters.
15:52You gotta protect your motherfucking mental health.
15:56That shit is fragile.
15:59Once it go, it's gone.
16:01And they don't give a fuck who you are.
16:04Once it go, it's gone.
16:07You need your fucking mental health.
16:09And I found out some shit they did not tell us.
16:13And I can't wait to tell y'all so y'all can treat yourself better.
16:18Some of y'all be way too mean to yourself in the fucking brain.
16:22You say some really fucked up things to yourself.
16:27This is what they found out.
16:29They found out your brain don't know when you bullshitting.
16:35Let me say it again.
16:37Your brain don't know when you bullshitting.
16:41So if you tell your brain, I'm sick.
16:44Your brain don't do no research at all.
16:47It just say, I guess we sick.
16:52You gotta be nicer to your motherfucker self.
16:56Cause this shit go like that.
16:58And I found out when it come to mental health, I can't speak on nobody's mental health but my own.
17:04Cause every time I done spoke on somebody else's mental health, I've been wrong, wrong, wrong.
17:11I was the first person in the streets screaming, free Britney Spears.
17:18Free Britney Spears.
17:20Free Britney Spears.
17:24Then they freed Britney and scared all of us.
17:28That baby need a conservatory shit.
17:31Is she okay?
17:34It can happen to anybody.
17:36I fucked around and said Wendy Williams was Bigfoot.
17:41And they believed me and left that bitch in the woods for real.
17:45Go get her.
17:47She out there, how you doing?
17:49She is talking to a squirrel.
17:54Mental health.
17:56Don't play with it.
17:58It even got Lil Nas X.
18:01He went down the wrong old town road.
18:05And he had all the distress signals for a black man.
18:09He had on a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, white underwear.
18:17Look at my white friends.
18:19So what?
18:21I'll tell you a negro secret.
18:24A nigga ain't wore tighty-whities since slavery, bitch.
18:30That is her cry for help.
18:33We don't even know where you buy those.
18:36He got a pulled all high show in his whole vagina.
18:43Stop it. Don't do that.
18:45Don't encourage me.
18:49I'm just saying, don't forget to love your motherfucker self.
18:53Don't forget that.
18:55Be nicer to your motherfucker self.
18:58That's why I'm always so confident in all situations.
19:01Because if I see a mirror, I lie to the mirror.
19:06Every time I see me, I go, nigga, did you get a growth spurt today?
19:17You're looking 5'11", nigga.
19:23It's important we'll go on in your brain and I just hope for 19 of you
19:31That you are just one change away
19:34From your shit shifting motherfucking gears and that's how quick it can happen. Just one last change
19:41BAM you shift gears
19:43Yeah, and you I don't give a fuck what the change is just do it. You might have to change
19:49your name
19:50You've been Shaquita for 33 years bitch shit. It's not working for you
19:56Go back to the drawing board start at the age you could be Amber Amy Abigail
20:05Sometimes it's just a name I'm gonna give you an example
20:08We got people from all the different races colors and creeds in the building
20:14Make some noise if you know all the seasonings that means you know all the herbs and spices from
20:21Oregano and thyme all the way to rosemary and saffron make some noise if you know
20:30Look at my white friends we know them
20:35Okay
20:36Okay, just we got everybody in here has anybody ever seen paprika growing in the wild
20:44You ever seen wild paprika
20:49Nobody
20:51Because there ain't no paprika
20:54Look at the black people
20:55Look at the black people
20:55What?
20:57Well what the fuck we been putting on deviled eggs then nigga?
21:01You can't just say this shit
21:05There is no paprika
21:07There is no paprika
21:08Ain't no paprika plant, no paprika bush
21:10No paprika tree
21:14Paprika is dried up
21:16ground up
21:17ground up
21:17bell peppers
21:21Look at white people
21:22I don't even like bell peppers
21:25Yes, you do
21:26They just had to change the name
21:28Walked in bell peppers
21:30Walked out paprika Jenkins
21:36Couldn't keep it on this shelf
21:37She sounds exotic
21:42Now some of y'all may know
21:43I do not travel the globe
21:46Talking about no motherfucking seasonings
21:50In my spare time
21:52I infiltrate the Illuminati
21:55Find out what the fuck they got going on
21:58Get the information
22:00Run back to y'all
22:02Tell y'all everything I know
22:06That's my motherfucking job
22:09And
22:11Y'all treat me wonderfully
22:14But I don't know
22:17How many more times I'm gonna be able to
22:23Sneak in there
22:25Thanks to Shannon Sharpe and 90 million views
22:31I can't sneak very often
22:35So I
22:36While I was in there this last time
22:40Knowing that my last report might be my last report
22:46I went in there and I got information for everybody
22:51Information I got
22:54For everybody
22:56Look at my white friends
22:58Us too?
23:01That's right
23:01White secrets
23:04Okay, so
23:06Because of the climate and the temperature of
23:10God damn it, shoelaces
23:14That's the only thing about being short
23:18They made these shoelaces for a seven foot nigga
23:24All right
23:25Back to my Illuminati information
23:30All right, I'm gonna do it quick
23:31And I'm gonna be moving around
23:34For my own safety
23:38White friends, here come y'alls first
23:41For 50 years y'all been wondering
23:43What the fuck happened to JFK?
23:47I went in there and watched the VCR tape myself
23:52I can't tell you what I saw white friends
23:55But I'll show you the part you missed
24:10Moving right along
24:13Okay
24:15Moving right along
24:17Every time I go in there I be thinking
24:20They hate some of us more than others
24:23But when I find out the information I find out they hate all of us
24:26They just lie to all of us
24:29They don't see no difference
24:31Just lie to all of us
24:34Here's a perfect example
24:37Did you know that for 35 years they've been telling us we are at war
24:42With cholesterol
24:44That cholesterol is the silent killer
24:48All our doctors told us our cholesterol was too motherfucking high
24:52And we needed to get it down low
24:55Guess what they found out and didn't tell us
24:58Did you know
24:59Did you know your brain is 100% cholesterol?
25:10Your whole brain is cholesterol bitch
25:15So congratulations
25:18Some of y'all cholesterol loading a bitch
25:22You did it
25:25They don't be giving a fuck
25:26They just be making money
25:29They put motherfucking fluoride in our water
25:32And then I found out
25:33You know it was never not one study that ever said
25:37That fluoride was good for our teeth and our motherfucking bones
25:41Because it's a toxic fucking chemical
25:44And could never be good for teeth or fucking bones
25:49Bitch
25:53But the truth is
25:56Because of the shit I'm likely to say
26:00I done really stepped in it this time
26:03I can tell because everybody turned against me
26:07Them streets is dangerous for me
26:10So many motherfuckers came at me
26:12I had to check myself
26:14And see what the fuck I had done
26:17I went back and watched shit for myself
26:19I went and saw the Shannon Sharp interview
26:22I was flabbergasted
26:26This nigga's vicious
26:28This nigga's vicious
26:29He didn't have to say all that
26:33All they want me to do is shut the fuck up
26:37That's it
26:38But I was just mistaken
26:41I thought they was just gonna laugh it off
26:44They did not
26:48Laugh it off
26:50I can't even go to Sea World
26:52Cause I said one guy looked like a walrus
26:55Now they won't even let me in there
26:59I said another guy couldn't read
27:00I didn't have to say that
27:02I could have said he don't read well
27:06I had on a fuck you shirt
27:08He didn't acknowledge it
27:09I assumed he couldn't read
27:13I was only talking about a couple people
27:15But I should have shut the fuck up
27:17Cause I didn't know
27:18How many people it applied to
27:20I was talking about a couple men in dresses
27:22Now every man that ever wore a dress
27:26Can't stand my guts
27:28Soon as they see me coming
27:29They just grab their purse
27:31And walk the other
27:38This shit cost me
27:41Everybody turned against me
27:43Even 50 Cent turned against me
27:46You don't want him as an enemy
27:49You don't want him as an enemy
27:49But I couldn't be shook
27:51Cause I remembered
27:53I never done nothing to him in my life
27:56Then I got offended
27:59Wait a minute motherfucker
28:03You got a head like a square
28:05You would cross me
28:09Only two square headed men have made it in Hollywood
28:12You and Herman Monster
28:14Nigga I will not be bullied
28:23But they came after you boy
28:27I thought they misunderstood my job
28:29My job is see something
28:31Say something
28:32That's my motherfucking job
28:36They always taking my shit out of context
28:38A lot of the times I be concerned
28:42They act like I was talking shit about
28:44A comedy legend of ours
28:46I wasn't talking shit
28:47I was fucking concerned
28:49The man said he did not have a stroke
28:53And then that should have been the end of it
28:55Instead they made this nigga do 32 interviews
28:59And every interview he is showing every symptom of a stroke
29:05Ain't nobody saying shit
29:07They just come on out
29:09He…
29:09Different strokes of things
29:11Different strokes of things
29:13Different strokes of the world
29:15Different strokes of the world
29:16Is in terms of things
29:17Different strokes of the world
29:22And I'm at the house like
29:24This is wrong!
29:25The fuck is we talking about
29:27Did he have a stroke?
29:28Did he?
29:29Look like he had several strokes
29:31Up stroke, down stroke
29:33Back stroke
29:35Everything but a stroke of luck
29:40i was concerned i'm not allowed to say shit even if i see shit
29:47because hollywood is too motherfucking strong they want you to make it you gonna make it they
29:53don't give a fuck even if you was allegedly riddled with herpes they'll still have you
30:02in vegas feeding bitches fruit and shit
30:04i didn't say it too much
30:18ain't nobody been to say shit
30:21all our women coming back from vegas with two folks on their lips don't wanna fuck
30:27fuck it
30:33fellas your woman does not love fruit like that you don't believe me when y'all get back
30:39home just pop up from behind the couch
30:45stop playing with the fruit jerald that's the kid's lunch fruit
30:52but i just gotta shut the fuck up because hollywood is too strong they pay by their own rules
31:01they don't play by my rules p diddy just got four years for taking 37 asses
31:19four years meanwhile they tried to give me the same four years for two blunts i had no intention
31:26of smoking in the first place they were purely ornamental same four years because they played by different rules
31:37that man was facing ass trafficking charges
31:44for trafficking ass
31:49why they only gave him four years
31:53because liking dick and being a devil worshipper ain't against the law
32:00they heard prostitution
32:02and thought there was some vaginas
32:05that needed to be saved
32:10the judge said bring out
32:12the nine prostitutes
32:15and nine big dick niggas walked out
32:20just said
32:22order he's fine give him four years
32:26it's not a crime he just likes penis
32:33he liked penis so much
32:35they sent him to the place with the most penis
32:42right now he is happily paying for his crime
32:52i'm not gonna be scared for four years
32:57p diddy got his lawyers lying
33:00he's gonna be a changed man when he come out
33:03is he
33:05yes he started good boy records and everything
33:09he's not saying take that
33:11he's saying give back
33:12give back
33:15that's the last thing i'm gonna say
33:20i ain't talking about shit else
33:22just know sometimes
33:25my heart be in the motherfucking right place
33:27and i just get tricked
33:30sometimes i believe shit that ain't right
33:32like i thought mike tyson
33:35was gonna whoop the shit
33:36out that young white gentleman
33:38i believe that shit
33:40i had a party
33:42invited my ancestors over
33:44and everything
33:46had chips and dip
33:48and unnecessary regalia
33:49i just want to see mike tyson the beast
33:53the monster
33:54in the motherfucking ring again
33:57i knew early in the evening
34:00something was wrong
34:03i had to put my blunt out for only the fourth time
34:07without the police's presence
34:10i looked up mike had his whole ass out
34:17i said pay-per-view not only fans bitch
34:20you don't have my consent to show me this
34:29the fight hadn't even started
34:32i had to put my money on this nigga
34:37i had to rationalize for him
34:39i said some stupid shit
34:40i said
34:40i know he ain't finna lose
34:44with his ass out
34:47boy was i wrong
34:50they called mike tyson out
34:52mike tyson came to the ring like joe biden on his way to a helicopter bitch
35:08i said what the fuck is that
35:10i said what the fuck is that
35:12he looked like it's mike tyson
35:13no the fuck it ain't
35:18look like he was fighting gravity
35:24but that's the new thing about the world we live in
35:27you can take the pressure off yourself
35:30just do the best job you can possibly do
35:33because you either gonna win spectacular
35:36or you gonna lose spectacular
35:38your job is just make sure it's spectacular
35:43and you can take a spectacular L
35:46kamala harris showed us that shit
35:50she took her L like a champ
35:52we ain't never seen no shit like that
35:56they tried to act like nobody voted for kamala
35:59they put up the map
36:00the whole map was red
36:03even the people that voted for her was red
36:07they showed her house it was 50-50
36:10it ain't but two of y'all in there
36:14they tried to blame everybody
36:15they blamed black men
36:17it was not our fault
36:19blame anybody else
36:21no Indians voted for her at all
36:25even women that wanted an abortion said
36:28i guess i'll just have to figure something out
36:32they said she didn't have enough electoral college votes to graduate
36:39at one point in the election cat williams had more votes
36:48that's where we were as a country
36:51everybody asking the same question
36:53is she black
36:53is she black
36:55is she black
36:56at the end she showed you exactly
37:00what she was
37:02it was time for her concession speech
37:05she ain't even show up
37:09that's a nigga right there
37:10we should have never doubted it
37:12she just rolled by with her pinky finger in the hair
37:15if you see me and you try to see what's up
37:19if you wanna fuck with me then I'm gonna stop
37:27but that's the best part about America
37:30in America it don't matter who you choose
37:33cause we all gonna pay the price
37:36together
37:39that's what make it gambling
37:41we gonna pay the price together
37:43no matter what it is
37:45you don't want this one
37:47fine
37:48well who's up next
37:51that's right
37:52don't be complaining about who up next
37:55just cause it happened to be
37:57Donald J. Darth Vader Trump
38:04yeah
38:04I don't give a fuck what you think about him
38:06that motherfucker is excited
38:11that motherfucking Trump
38:13you do not know what he finna do tomorrow
38:16you know the fuck you don't
38:18all you know is he gonna do something
38:22he'd been president before
38:25this time he was not bullshit
38:27he'd been office 200 days
38:30he done done 200 things
38:36good things, bad things
38:38who gives a fuck
38:39things
38:42he do his shit today
38:44and figure out what the fuck he just did
38:47tomorrow
38:50yeah
38:52he found out
38:53all you gotta do is think about it
38:55research it
38:56make it happen
38:57and this term he said
38:58get research the fuck out of here
39:00we will not be needing your services
39:05he don't give a fuck
39:06if it makes sense to him
39:08it makes sense
39:11first thing he did is come in
39:12and fired all the wrong people
39:16fired a thousand people
39:17at the nuclear security administration
39:23the next day he said
39:25well what did they do
39:28they took care of the bombs
39:30Mr. President
39:31well get them the fuck back in here
39:33you know I didn't mean them
39:35I meant PSA
39:36the one with the shoes
39:41y'all don't give a fuck
39:43he do it today
39:44figure it out tomorrow
39:47he fired thousands of people
39:49at the FAA
39:51and then 14 planes
39:53landed upside down
39:55in 14 days
39:56y'all didn't say shit
39:58sometimes they land like that
40:00no they don't
40:05if it makes sense to him
40:07it makes sense
40:09he don't think like everybody else
40:12they told him
40:14only 28%
40:16of our 8th graders
40:18can read
40:21he said
40:22who gave the test
40:31the Department of Education
40:34well get them the fuck out of here
40:37take them book sweater
40:40how the fuck we gonna fail
40:41a test we don't take bitch
40:48ain't nobody funnier than this guy
40:52it might look like
40:53he don't know what he doing
40:55he be knowing what the fuck he doing
40:56he got us in five wars
40:59at one time
41:02we all had five wars
41:04one time
41:07here's the brilliant part
41:09none of the nations
41:12that we are at war with
41:14none of them
41:16got an army
41:21we just over there
41:22bully
41:23shut the fuck up
41:24y'all ain't got no
41:24give a fuck about
41:26your maple syrup
41:27Canada
41:33if you're a comedian
41:35you ain't never seen
41:36nobody funnier than this
41:39and he don't give a fuck
41:41if he already said
41:42one thing
41:43he don't mind
41:44I ain't changing it
41:46when he needs to change it
41:49Trump said
41:50I will absolutely
41:52show you the Epstein file
41:55then they showed him the files
41:57he said
41:57bitch is that my name
42:00you got me fucked up
42:02you better
42:13ever since
42:14ever since
42:15grab her
42:16by the pussy
42:19I thought he could never say
42:21anything else
42:24make me put my blunt out
42:28this month
42:31a legend
42:33he said
42:34he spoke with the president
42:37of Puerto Rico
42:40and the Virgin Islands
42:43my whole brain
42:45scrambled
42:56sir you are the president
42:58of Puerto Rico
43:01and the Virgin Islands
43:06so the question is
43:08who the fuck
43:10was you talking to
43:13J.D. Vance
43:14was in a corner
43:15this is Puerto Rico
43:22Trump is just funny
43:25he didn't even know
43:26who
43:27Bad Bunny was
43:30he said
43:31I don't think
43:32a Hispanic rabbit
43:35should be at the
43:36Super Bowl
43:47from the outside
43:49looking in
43:51it would seem like
43:52this country
43:53should be
43:54at its most
43:55divided
43:56but I promise you
43:58the reason this is
44:01the greatest country
44:02in the world
44:03is because we are
44:04the United States
44:05of America
44:06heavy on the United
44:08regardless of what we believe
44:14and the whole thing is
44:16as a family
44:17of different colors
44:20we gonna need
44:21each other
44:21coming up
44:22they not telling you
44:24that shit
44:25you gonna have to
44:26depend on somebody
44:28that don't look like you
44:31yeah
44:31see we are scheduled
44:34to starve to death
44:37lest we work together
44:39for the first time
44:41in 400 years
44:42it's gonna be
44:44no Hispanics
44:45in the field
44:48to pick the fruits
44:49and the vegetables
44:51and the crops
44:52that we all eat
44:54and enjoy
44:57so that means
44:59the next group
45:01got to step up
45:05get in the field
45:08pick these crops
45:12look at black people
45:22I don't speak
45:22for all black people
45:23but I do speak
45:24for all niggas
45:26niggas ain't never
45:27going back to the field
45:30if Jesus come back
45:31we'll have to explain
45:32it to him
45:33get out of there
45:33Lord and Savior
45:35we got 400 years
45:37of credit out there
45:39we don't even
45:40pick fruit grown ups
45:43so that means
45:44for the first time
45:46in 400 years
45:49it's not gonna be
45:50no Hispanics
45:52and no blacks
45:54in the field
45:55to pick the fruits
45:58and vegetables
45:59that we all enjoy
46:02that means
46:03that means the next group
46:05got to step up
46:08get in them fields
46:10look at my white friends
46:14that's right
46:16white friends
46:19it's your turn
46:27you can do this
46:31I want you to get
46:32as much sunscreen
46:34as you can legally buy
46:39we gonna need you
46:40to be out there
46:41for 45 minutes
46:42to an hour
46:43at a time
46:47we need you
46:48white friends
46:50and don't worry
46:51it ain't gonna be
46:52fucked up
46:52like black slavery
46:55you ain't gonna have
46:56to do it by yourself
46:59we gonna be out there
47:00supporting you
47:01white friends
47:02giving you words
47:03of affirmation
47:05and positive messages
47:08we gonna be playing
47:09white negro spirituals
47:12doing a great job
47:18Rebecca
47:20put your back into it
47:22hey
47:22can I get some oranges
47:27on aisle 26 please
47:29god damn
47:33just saying
47:34we all gonna need each other
47:38yeah
47:40life is too hard
47:43for us to be divided
47:45I found out
47:47from traveling
47:48all across this great nation
47:50a lot of people
47:51do some great
47:52motherfucking work
47:53they don't get no credit
47:55this whole country
47:56is built on the backs
47:57of farmers
47:58farmers is our
48:00motherfucking life blood
48:01the people that got
48:02a farm
48:03that you run
48:04the fucking country
48:06feeding everybody
48:09that's a hard job
48:11that shit is not easy
48:12I don't give a fuck
48:14how much money you got
48:16you ain't ready
48:17for that motherfucking
48:18farm life
48:18and when I say you
48:20I mean me
48:23I did not know
48:24that shit was
48:25gangster like that
48:27it's hard as fuck
48:28I hurry up
48:30bought a hundred acre farm
48:31got off the grid
48:33then found out
48:35what the fuck
48:35the grid was
48:38what the fuck
48:39did I get off the grid for
48:40bitch
48:41I need the grid
48:43I found out
48:44I'm not cut out
48:44for this motherfucking
48:46farm life
48:47I bought all the animals
48:49that was delicious
48:51a hundred chickens
48:53a hundred turkeys
48:54a hundred ducks
48:55a hundred rabbits
48:56a hundred cows
48:58a hundred sheep
48:59a hundred pigs
49:01everything that made
49:02a crackling
49:03I bought it
49:06I done had this farm
49:07for four years
49:08we ain't killed
49:10a motherfucking
49:11animal yet
49:13I don't know
49:14how you do this
49:15shit
49:17I'm supposed to
49:17eat these
49:18these my friends
49:20bitch
49:22I done named them
49:24I talked to them
49:25you want me to eat
49:26Kessler Kaya bitch
49:31then had this farm
49:33four years
49:33we still door dashing
49:35Popeyes and shit
49:37the chickens
49:38cutting off
49:39the door dasher
49:45might as well
49:46call it
49:47puss ass farms
49:49I don't care
49:50how delicious
49:51they are
49:52they are
49:52as cute
49:53as they are
49:54delicious
49:55if you can kill
49:56a baby goat
49:57your ass
49:57is a monster
49:59that motherfucker
50:00don't do nothing
50:01but be happy
50:01to be alive
50:02all day long
50:07I'm crying
50:08with mint jelly
50:09in my hands
50:13yeah
50:15be easy
50:16on yourself
50:17that was
50:18my motherfucking point
50:19some shit
50:20be easier
50:21than you think
50:22I'm lucky
50:23because I don't
50:24have to fight
50:24by myself
50:25I got a God
50:27that love me
50:29like he
50:29he take care of me
50:32because he know
50:33I'm slow
50:36so he treat me
50:37like I'm slow
50:39yeah
50:39that works for me
50:41he just be blessing
50:42me out of nowhere
50:44I don't know
50:45where it's gonna
50:45come from
50:46or nothing
50:47and it be real
50:48miracles
50:50like
50:51like last year
50:53I was doing
50:54this thing
50:55where I was
50:55drinking these
50:56exotic teas
50:57every day
50:58before a show
50:59and after a show
51:00drinking these
51:01motherfucking
51:02hundred dollar
51:02cups
51:03cups of tea
51:04and shit
51:05and put the
51:06honey in it
51:07and my friend
51:08was like
51:08I got some
51:09special honey
51:09I'm gonna send you
51:10and I was like
51:11yes
51:12and I got the
51:13special honey
51:13I start putting it
51:14in the tea
51:15every day
51:16and I'm feeling
51:17stronger and stronger
51:18and shit
51:19I'm not knowing
51:20what the fuck
51:21is happening
51:21and I found out
51:23this nigga done
51:23sent me
51:24dick hard honey
51:33I didn't know
51:35I thought the lord
51:36was really answering
51:37my prayers
51:38he has rejuvenated
51:40and restored
51:41me
51:47because here's
51:48the whole thing
51:49this final group
51:51of people in here
51:53nobody never say
51:54nothing good about
51:55them
51:56but they've been
51:57doing a great job
51:58too
51:58and I'm part of
51:59them
52:00where's all the men
52:01in the building
52:02make some noise
52:03if you're a man
52:05keep up the good
52:06work
52:07we know how hard
52:09it is
52:09you're doing a great
52:10motherfucking job
52:11not 19 of you
52:12but the rest of you
52:13doing a great job
52:15keep up the good work
52:16for the men
52:18in the audience
52:18I'm gonna say
52:20something
52:21that'll uplift you
52:22because that
52:24rarely happens
52:26they found out
52:27something medically
52:28and they don't
52:29want to fucking
52:30tell y'all
52:30but I'm gonna
52:32fucking tell y'all
52:33they found out
52:35that all the
52:35evil men
52:36in the world
52:37throughout history
52:39all got one
52:41thing in common
52:42they all
52:44got a micro
52:45penis
52:46all of them
52:48R. Kelly P. Diddy
52:51Jeffrey Dahmer
52:52Hitler
52:53all of them
52:54mmm
52:56yep
52:57and a micro
52:59penis
53:00is any
53:01penis
53:01three inches
53:03or less
53:05when it's hard
53:07we wonder
53:08why these men
53:09be so evil
53:12you'd be evil
53:13too
53:13if you had a dick
53:14the size of a
53:15now later
53:16bitch
53:18every time you
53:18pull your pants down
53:19somebody laugh
53:22even when you
53:23alone
53:27so fellas
53:29thank god
53:31you didn't have
53:32to walk that
53:34be grateful
53:35you ain't got
53:36no motherfucking
53:37micro penis
53:41so now
53:42for the fellas
53:44I hope
53:45you are just
53:46one truth away
53:48from your life
53:49shifting
53:50and it can happen
53:52it happened to me
53:52I heard one thing
53:54it changed my life
53:56forever
53:56I heard one truth
53:58and it changed
53:59everything
54:00and I'm gonna
54:00share it
54:01with the men
54:01in here
54:02so you know
54:03it don't just
54:04relate to me
54:05it relate to
54:05all of us
54:07two women
54:08told me
54:10that my dick
54:12was bigger
54:13than Shaq's
54:15let me say
54:16that again
54:17for the people
54:17in the back
54:23don't look at it
54:24right now
54:24that's embarrassing
54:26two women
54:27told me
54:29my dick
54:30was bigger
54:32than Shaq's
54:32now it don't
54:34matter
54:34if it's
54:36true
54:36or not
54:38soon as
54:39I heard it
54:40my life
54:42changed
54:43like I mean
54:45instantly
54:46my spine
54:48got strong
54:49my walk
54:49was different
54:50I walked
54:51like I had
54:51Shaq's dick
54:52hold up
54:54why don't you
54:55be different
54:55be different
54:56yeah
54:56hold up
54:57why don't you
54:58be different
54:58be different
54:59yeah
54:59hold up
55:00why don't you
55:01be different
55:01be different
55:02yeah
55:05cause now I know
55:06my dick
55:07is bigger than Shaq's
55:09now fellas
55:10what does that have to do
55:11with you
55:13you know
55:14your penis
55:15is allegedly
55:16probably
55:16maybe
55:17bigger than my
55:20so what does that mean
55:22that means
55:23that means all
55:23I think
55:29bigger than Shaq's
55:31and now you gotta
55:33act like it
55:34cause you heard it
55:37that's right
55:38fellas if God
55:40done bless you
55:40with a vagina
55:41in your life
55:43don't you bring out
55:44no regular dick
55:45tonight
55:46she gonna be
55:47looking
55:49tonight
55:49when you come out
55:50that bathroom
55:51you come out
55:52with Shaq's dick
55:55don't even do
55:56no foreplay
55:57just slam dunk
55:58on the pussy
55:58she like the way
56:00that I move
56:00she like the way
56:01that I rock
56:02she like the way
56:03that I move
56:04she like the way
56:05that I go
56:06lock in
56:09give me that Shaq dick
56:12and ladies
56:13we can't do
56:14nothing without y'all
56:15y'all are the
56:17center of our
56:18universe
56:18we are
56:20visual
56:21and you are
56:22our only
56:23visual
56:24so tonight
56:26ladies
56:28when you see him
56:29come out that
56:30bathroom
56:31you know him
56:34if he come out
56:35with Shaq's dick
56:37ladies
56:38we gonna need you
56:39to be an actress
56:40tonight
56:41I need you
56:42to act
56:44I don't give a fuck
56:45how many times
56:46you done seen
56:47this by eating
56:48a sausage
56:52when he present
56:53that glizzy
56:54tonight
56:56when he show you
56:57that hot dog
56:58tonight
57:00when he bring out
57:01that frankfurter
57:05women I want you
57:06to look at it
57:07like it's exactly
57:08what you asked
57:10God for
57:12lock eyes
57:13with the penis
57:14and say
57:14mustard
57:18thank y'all so much
57:19my name is
57:20Cat Williams
57:20I appreciate y'all
57:23since 1995
57:24it's been an honor
57:25thank y'all
57:41I'm in a city with a flag
57:46thrown like it was
57:47pass interference
57:48padlock around the building
57:49crash pulling up
57:50in a marked truck
57:51just to play freeze tag
57:52with a bone to pick
57:52like it was sea bass
57:53so when I made it out
57:54I made about 50k
57:55from a show
57:56tryna show the ropes
57:57before they hump
57:58from a rope
57:59I'm prophetic
57:59they only talk about it
58:01how I get it
58:01only good for saving face
58:03seeing the cosmetics
58:04how many heads
58:04I gotta take
58:05to level my aesthetics
58:06hurry up and get your muscle up
58:07we out the ply metric
58:08ran up by the Lux
58:09and that's up the highest metric
58:11the city just made it sweet
58:12you could die better
58:13they mouth you
58:14full of deceit
58:14let these cowards tell it
58:15walk in New Orleans
58:16with the etiquette
58:17LA yelling
58:18oh man
58:23I'm bad
58:23but somebody gotta do it
58:25got my foot up on the gas
58:26but somebody gotta do it
58:27turn this TV off
58:28turn this TV off
58:29turn this TV off
58:30turn this TV off
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