- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:19Don't even think about it, don't even.
00:57Don't even think about it.
01:02Ow.
01:04No.
01:05No.
01:06No, leave it.
01:11Greetings, young Port-Wenians.
01:13Hello.
01:14It is our honor, nay, our duty to help you learn about our town's history through our
01:20eyes.
01:21Let's travel back to the year 1757.
01:27I'm Roderick, the bog harvester.
01:31Each day, I cut peat into bricks for the townspeople to cook their food.
01:36Peat also makes an excellent camouflage.
01:39But the bog is not just for food and fuel.
01:42It's also for love.
01:47Our town leader, Archibald no-knows-when, proposed to Annabelle Ross while gathering peat.
01:54Yes, it is I, Archibald no-knows-when.
01:58Many moons ago, I declared my undying love to the woman of my dreams, right here in this
02:04very bog.
02:06Yeah.
02:07My beloved and I lived happily married for 37 years, growing a family with a bunch of
02:16nice little kids, and being the very heart and soul of Port-
02:22ekk, actually, all the way around your hours, you're getting your peat.
02:23No-I'm sorry.
02:24Oh!
02:24Sorry.
02:30Oh!
02:32Oh!
02:33Oh!
02:35Oh!
02:37Oh!
02:39Oh!
02:39Oh!
02:41Oh!
02:42Oh!
03:02What brings you back in?
03:03My pickleball tourneys this weekend, and my elbow's still killing me.
03:07Have you been doing the physical therapy exercises I gave you?
03:10No, they were so boring.
03:11And so are patients who don't listen to me yet. I keep at it every day.
03:15How's the urinary flow?
03:16It's still just a dribble.
03:18I hear the young guys in the urinals next to me peeing like racehorses.
03:22Have you been doing the Kegel exercises we discussed?
03:24It's very simple.
03:25You just imagine your penis is a straw, and you just...
03:28Kegels? For me?
03:30Mm-hmm.
03:31That's just too much. It's too much.
03:33My wife gives me food, now you want me to do Kegels?
03:36Let me guess, you still have lice.
03:38Why else would I be here?
03:40And no, you can't make me shave my head.
03:43This hair is my signature look.
03:45I never suggested you shave your head.
03:47I told you to use permethrin shampoo.
03:50Oh, okay.
03:51Wait, what?
03:53A group?
03:54Show of hands.
03:56How many people are here to complain about something I've already seen them for?
04:01And how many of you have actually done the thing I asked you to do?
04:03I'm not going to be fishing.
04:06Great.
04:07Now, who's next to waste my time?
04:09Elaine?
04:09Oh, hi, Doc.
04:11Elaine, uh, senior...
04:12Unless that sentence ends with saving a life, stop talking.
04:16Best here.
04:18A what?
04:20Drop me a pin.
04:21I know, it's so exciting, but I'm just...
04:25Louisa!
04:26Oh, uh, here, get on the bus.
04:28Martin, hi.
04:30Are you all right?
04:30Oh, yeah.
04:31Yeah, we're okay.
04:32I mean, you know, except for the dead guy that Mark found in the bog.
04:35I heard.
04:36Why was Mark in a bog?
04:37Martin, shame you're visiting our bog under such grim circumstances.
04:41You went in, too?
04:42Are you aware that bogs are a natural incubator for gangrene?
04:45No, it's fine.
04:46You do this every year.
04:47Besides, no one's lost a toe yet.
04:48That's right.
04:50Doc, you made it.
04:51Big day for Port Winner.
04:52Very first mystery corpse.
04:54It's kind of a big milestone if you really think about it.
04:57Yeah, and I'm still trying to figure out why you needed me here.
05:00No one's hurt.
05:01Right.
05:01Things are going fast and furious.
05:03The medical examiner's on our honeymoon,
05:05so she deputized you to run point on the forensic investigation.
05:08Absolutely not.
05:09No, I'm not a coroner, and I have a full afternoon of patients.
05:11Oh, well, if you want to move my bloodletting to tomorrow...
05:13I'm not clearing my schedule for an autopsy, okay?
05:15My job is to take care of living bodies, not dead ones.
05:19Right, but today the law says that it is.
05:22The medical examiner needs us to ID the body, collect DNA,
05:25and figure out cause of death.
05:28She also said something else, too, that was very important.
05:31Okay.
05:34How about tomorrow, first thing?
05:36Oh, yeah.
05:37That'll be fun.
05:39I mean, fine, there'll be fine.
05:41Yeah, that's totally fine.
05:42I'll get to see you later.
05:46Hey, Doc, where do you want me to drop off the dead guy?
05:50Oh, right, that was the important thing.
05:52Okay, so we have to store the body for a few days.
05:55Figure we just use the old Doc's office, blast the A.C.
05:58Unless he has an appointment, he's not coming in,
06:00and it's not nearly cold enough.
06:02Okay, so what are we looking for, then?
06:03Somewhere refrigerated, big enough to conduct an autopsy.
06:06Whatever you say, Doc.
06:07Whatever you say, Doc.
06:10Hmm.
06:14Yeah, I got it, I got it.
06:16Okay, here we go.
06:17Yep, we got it, okay.
06:18Appreciate you lending us the walk-in.
06:20Yeah, it's the least we could do.
06:22Oh, I hope the feet don't break off.
06:23No, if I just...
06:23Watch it, watch it, watch it.
06:24We almost get shut down by the health department
06:26over our sweet little brisket,
06:28and now we're emptying out our walk-in for a dead body.
06:33Greg, don't be heartless.
06:35This man deserves a proper port when welcome, dead or not.
06:39Besides, Martin's not gonna snitch.
06:41Again!
06:46Looks like a haunted potato.
06:48Be sure to add that to the autopsy report.
06:52A puncture wound.
06:54About the size of a bullet.
06:56Just like the guy I saw outside Dan Ceteria in 82.
06:59Oh, I love your wild days.
07:00Is that when Madonna stole your cab?
07:02Leaf.
07:02When didn't Madonna steal my cab?
07:05No one comes in this room without me or Sheriff Milo, understood?
07:08Why, Doc?
07:08Doc's right.
07:09We gotta lock it down.
07:11Not here!
07:12Hey, hey, guys, what's happening?
07:14This man may have been murdered.
07:23Tell us, has there been a murder in Port Wynn?
07:26Is there a killer on the loop?
07:27Are we in a safe?
07:28Are we in danger?
07:29Should we be walking in here?
07:30Who got shot?
07:31Everyone, please stay calm.
07:37Everyone, please stay calm.
07:39As Sheriff, it's my duty to protect Port Wynn and to keep it real.
07:46We found a bullet hole in the dead dude.
07:48Yes, it might be murder.
07:50What?
07:51It's scary, but don't worry.
07:54I've organized Port Wynn's first ever neighborhood watch,
07:57and I've nominated Sarah to lead it.
08:03And, of course, our very own Dr. Martin Best
08:06is going to lead the forensic investigation.
08:08So if you have any questions or leads,
08:10please feel free to come to either one of us, okay?
08:13Questions?
08:14Yeah, buddy.
08:15Who's the prime suspect?
08:17Got any leads?
08:19It's still early days.
08:21Figures.
08:22Incompetence everywhere.
08:23What should we do?
08:25I put a lot of thought into that.
08:27Doc?
08:35You all want to stay alive?
08:37Oh, yeah.
08:39Then do your physical therapy.
08:41Ronnie, take your insulin.
08:44You're going to end up like that guy in the fridge.
08:45Come on, Ronnie.
08:47Every single one of you.
08:50More dietary fiber.
09:00Wait a minute.
09:01Who is the dead guy?
09:02Elaine, slow down.
09:03I'm going out to do the autopsy.
09:05I move Louisa to the morning,
09:06reschedule the rest of my patients.
09:07Can you handle that?
09:08Yes, yes, yeah.
09:09Totally.
09:10But, Doc, a murder in Port Wynn?
09:13It's like we're living in our own crime show.
09:18Hey, don't tell anyone, but I'm very excited.
09:23I've always wanted a real crime to solve
09:25so I can be taken seriously.
09:28You know, not just the guy who comes
09:30and gets the owl out of your attic.
09:32Okay.
09:33You should seal up that bag.
09:35And what's left?
09:36Tissue sample.
09:38Right.
09:40Okay.
09:44Well, yeah.
09:47Mm-hmm.
09:48Mm-hmm.
09:53Hmm.
09:54Thought there'd be some blood.
09:56Blood coagulates after death.
09:58So why is it so squishy?
09:59Because of the bog water.
10:02Cold, acidic, low oxygen,
10:04preserves tissue but not blood flow.
10:07Oh, so it's like working on a live body
10:09but without any of the blood.
10:10Exactly.
10:12So when do you think he died?
10:14That is a good question, my friend.
10:17He could have died weeks ago, months ago,
10:20or even years ago.
10:21That really opens up the pool of potential victims.
10:24Mm-hmm.
10:26And suspects.
10:28Oh.
10:30Okay.
10:31Time in bog, TBD.
10:34Uh, male.
10:36Height, 5'10".
10:38No tattoos.
10:40Red.
10:41Hair.
10:43Nah.
10:44Well, maybe.
10:47Okay, hang tight, Doc.
10:48I gotta go...
10:49I gotta go detective something real quick.
10:52Sure.
10:54I'll just be done in a second.
10:57Okay.
11:08Move outside and let the man go through.
11:11Let the man go through.
11:13Move outside and let the man go through.
11:16Let the man go through.
11:17Move outside and let the man...
11:21Greg.
11:22We're better together.
11:23Greg.
11:24I'm sorry.
11:26Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
11:29Is that Josephine Alcott's car in Ronnie Winslow's driveway?
11:35Wow.
11:37The dust has even settled on his poor wife's grave.
11:40I don't think the casseroles are the only thing she's been cooking up.
11:44Casserolling the hay.
11:46All right, come to me.
11:47All right, come to me.
11:48All right.
11:50A dead body was found in the bog.
11:52Come on, people.
11:54Think.
11:55Who's our John Doe?
11:57Who do we like for this?
11:59Portwin isn't just the best place for lobster rolls.
12:01It's a town full of secrets.
12:04Stay tuned.
12:06I'm Detective Elaine Denton.
12:08And this is Claw and Order.
12:11B.O.G.
12:12Dun-dun!
12:13Yeah.
12:14Yeah!
12:15Elaine, you're...
12:16You're pretty good at this.
12:17Really, and that jacket is...
12:20Really hot.
12:21Oh, yeah?
12:22Yeah, I really like it.
12:26Oh, hi.
12:27Hi, Doc.
12:28Uh, we were...
12:28We were just, uh...
12:31Carry on.
12:33Wait a minute.
12:33What's the scoop?
12:34Who's the dead guy?
12:34And how did he die?
12:36Not sure yet.
12:36Still working on it.
12:38You two have a good night.
12:39What?
12:40Wait, what?
12:41What is that?
12:43Were you actually in a good mood?
12:45Why wouldn't I be?
12:46Finally have a patient who doesn't talk back.
12:49You did this?
12:51Uh...
12:52Yeah.
12:53Yeah, it's pretty neat, right?
12:55Hmm.
12:55If only you were this good at your real job.
12:57Heh heh.
12:58Night?
13:05It's scarier when he's nice.
13:13I know that it's not the best time we've done it, but when we're going somewhere and we're talking about
13:20it.
13:20What's wrong with Geneva?
13:23We don't know for sure, but we think the body that we found might be Bruce.
13:29Aww.
13:30Same height, red hair, and he may have been shot.
13:34Oh my goodness.
13:36My Brucie?
13:37I know this is a lot to take in.
13:40When was the last time you saw him?
13:42Thanksgiving.
13:44A few years ago.
13:46You know that.
13:47Everyone knows that.
13:48Sure, but you never told us where he went or why he left.
13:52Yeah, I didn't want to talk about it then, and I sure don't want to talk about it now.
13:58I know.
13:58What's going on here?
14:00Official police business.
14:01Well, I'm the neighborhood watch, and she's my best friend.
14:04What's going on?
14:05I don't want you to faint when I tell you this.
14:07Just spit it out, Mark.
14:10We might have found Bruce's body.
14:12In the bog?
14:13Mm-hmm.
14:14Geneva, do you think that might be possible?
14:17Yes.
14:19I did it.
14:21I killed Brucie.
14:22What?
14:23Yep.
14:24I shot my husband, and I chucked him in the bog.
14:30Okay.
14:31Okay.
14:31I think I'm going to need a minute.
14:33Wait, wait.
14:34Come on.
14:34Do your job.
14:35Lock me up.
14:36What?
14:37What?
14:47I'm busy, Elaine.
14:48Oh, it's, uh, it's Louisa.
14:53Hey.
14:54Louisa.
14:55Right.
14:56Yeah.
14:56Your appointment.
14:57Uh-huh.
14:58How are you?
14:59Um, I'm a little nervous.
15:02Me too.
15:02You are?
15:03Oh, no, I'm sorry.
15:04I don't know why I said that.
15:06Oh, okay.
15:07Of course not.
15:08Bloodletting is an easy procedure.
15:10Oh, good.
15:12Elaine didn't come in with you.
15:14She's late.
15:15Uh, she, um, she stopped at the salty breeze that she needed her, uh, Danish fix.
15:20Oh, good.
15:20Good.
15:21I'd hate for work to get in the way of her breakfast treats.
15:25How long should this take, you think?
15:28It's just, I, I should probably get to school soon.
15:31Right, I'll just find a needle.
15:34Finding a needle.
15:42So, how's, uh, how's school?
15:45Busy.
15:46I'm, I'm helping Principal Holloway with budget cuts.
15:49You know, I'm rationing out glue sticks and pricing out pencils and.
15:58Let's do this.
16:01Right.
16:02Yeah.
16:03Okay, let's just.
16:04Oh, yeah.
16:07Mm-hmm.
16:09Mm-hmm.
16:17It's like a fist.
16:19All right.
16:23Is, is something wrong?
16:24Yes, you, well, are.
16:28Very thin.
16:30Oh.
16:31Your veins are very thin.
16:32I'm, I'm, I'm going to need you to come back when you're more hydrated.
16:36Oh, oh, oh my gosh.
16:38Dr. Reese always loved my veins, so.
16:40Yeah, well then, Dr. Reese will have to come back from the dead and draw your blood.
16:43No, no, no, that's not what I mean.
16:44I just, I just don't think I can keep rescheduling.
16:46Hello?
16:48What?
16:49Are you kidding?
16:51I'll be right there.
16:53What, what's going on now?
16:55Mark.
16:56He arrested Geneva.
16:58Have, have a lane reschedule.
17:04All right, you weirdos.
17:06Five bucks, five minutes.
17:09And keep it down.
17:11And don't touch it.
17:12Oh my God, look at his feet.
17:16Want to get a pic?
17:17Uh, uh, photos are five bucks extra.
17:19Extra?
17:20Per person.
17:22Okay, Boomer.
17:22Thanks.
17:23Tell all your friends.
17:24Ready?
17:27Geneva, walk us through it.
17:29How'd you do it?
17:30What gun?
17:31Mark, if I keep answering your questions, I'll never finish this role.
17:34And I told you already, at home, with Bruce's hunting rifle, and then I tossed him in the bog.
17:42You really tossed a 200-pound man into a bog on your own?
17:45I used my core.
17:46Geneva, how am I supposed to tell my mom this?
17:49This is gonna kill her.
17:51What else have you been lying about?
17:53Your goldfish didn't run away.
17:57Wait, he didn't join a rock band?
18:01Mark, better not to know.
18:03You and my mom told me that he was in a band called Cutie and the Goldfish.
18:07This is just like so much for me to take in right now.
18:11I'm...
18:12I just...
18:13I never could understand how he got into law enforcement.
18:17Yeah, me either.
18:19Geneva, I need to know more about Bruce's medical history in order to confirm his identity.
18:23Did he have any tattoos?
18:25Identifying marks?
18:26Surgeries, perhaps?
18:28Well, he...
18:28He didn't have a spleen or a gallbladder or an appendix.
18:33You know, one of those organs you don't really need.
18:36That's a start.
18:38I still can't believe it.
18:40Geneva, it's not possible.
18:42She was always cagey about why Bruce left.
18:45Never gave a straight answer.
18:47Just one day, he was gone.
18:48Yes, you can sleep next to someone for 20 years and not have a clue what they're capable of.
18:52I saw Cher without you once.
18:54What?
18:54It was the farewell tour.
18:56Exactly.
18:57It was the farewell tour.
18:58I have to film a new episode.
19:00This is big news.
19:01This is big news.
19:04Also, these might be your best yet.
19:06What kind of cheese did you use?
19:08Yeah.
19:08If I told you, I'd have to kill you.
19:11Yeah, we can't say that anymore.
19:13That's a different note.
19:15The truth has clawed its way to the surface.
19:17The Port Wind killer has been caught.
19:19And it's always the ones you least expect.
19:22Until next time, Detective Denton, claw and order B.O.G.
19:27Dun-dun!
19:29So good.
19:31But why'd she do it?
19:33Doesn't matter.
19:34Case closed.
19:35Your detective work sucks.
19:36Hey, do not sass my girlfriend, okay?
19:39And show some respect for law enforcement.
19:41Girlfriend?
19:42Yeah, I...
19:43Al, we've been over this.
19:46We're frisky friends.
19:47That's it.
19:48Finally.
19:49It's getting interesting.
19:51You know what?
19:52Fine.
19:53Get yourself a new cameraman and another frisky friend.
19:57Hey!
19:58What's a frisky friend?
20:02Five bucks, five minutes a pop.
20:04Quick and quiet, okay?
20:05Bert!
20:06Really?
20:07Are you charging to see the dead body?
20:09This is a tragedy.
20:10Not a carnival sideshow.
20:12I'm just trying to make an honest dollar.
20:14Have you no shame?
20:15The world today?
20:16Hell in a handbasket.
20:18I'm disappointed in all of you.
20:21I take care of George.
20:22You cut me in?
20:23Deal.
20:24Sheriff Mark, cheese it.
20:31It's like...
20:31It's like first Bruce, and then it's my goldfish.
20:35What else is Geneva hiding from me, you know?
20:37Just to be clear, you actually thought a goldfish could sing?
20:39Well, I had a dog who could read my mind, so...
20:43Anyway, we don't even know if this is Bruce or just Geneva having some sort of geriatric delusion.
20:48Did you bring your flashlight?
20:49Of course, Doc.
20:50I never leave home without it.
20:51Where we going?
20:53Just shine it right above the abdomen.
20:57And so I checked with Dr. Reese's files, and Bruce had a colocystectomy.
21:07So if this body doesn't have a gallbladder, it's likely Bruce.
21:15How did you do this for a living, Doc?
21:18Best job in the world.
21:21You seem different, man.
21:23I don't know.
21:24You seem, like, more cheerful.
21:25You're starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
21:27I'm just enjoying the work.
21:29It's not a crime.
21:31Thank goodness, because it would have killed me to have to arrest you, too, Doc.
21:36I knew it.
21:37This isn't Bruce.
21:38Huh?
21:39We always wondered what happened between the two of you.
21:43You were so secretive after he left town.
21:47But we didn't think you'd killed him.
21:49Oh, this darn cable stitch.
21:51And now the whole town knows that you're not just a cake-baking sweetheart.
21:56You're a cold-blooded husband killer who's going to spend the rest of her life in prison.
22:01And I'm going to have to redo this whole row.
22:04Geneva Larson, you've never botched a cable stitch in your life.
22:09All right.
22:12I didn't kill Brucey.
22:15Then why did you turn yourself in?
22:17Because I'd rather rot in here than have everyone know the truth.
22:20What's worse than a murder charge?
22:24At Thanksgiving, when Bruce left, he left with my sister.
22:32Bonnie?
22:34Well, it's always the ones you don't expect.
22:37I haven't spoken to either of them since.
22:40Two people I love most in the world, they chose each other and left me with cold turkey and a
22:49broken heart.
22:50But the truth I really don't want to admit is that I am old, alone, and unloved.
23:01Oh, Geneva, don't be crazy.
23:03We all love you and we're not going anywhere.
23:07Okay.
23:09And, you know, everybody has a secret or two.
23:14You know what I just saw?
23:17Josephine and Ronnie going after each other like dogs in heat.
23:20Really?
23:23She sure is baking a lot of casseroles.
23:26Now we know why.
23:33What do you mean it's not Bruce?
23:35Bruce doesn't have a gallbladder.
23:37This body does.
23:41Wait.
23:43Give me a second.
23:45Shine your light more over here.
23:48Yeah.
23:54What was a marble doing in there?
23:57I think this body was in the bog a lot longer than we thought.
24:02Good eye, Martin.
24:04It's a musket ball.
24:0518th century.
24:07This might be an early Port Wenian, like Jeremiah or Roderick or, nay, Archibald no knows when.
24:14This cadaver was centuries old.
24:16We discovered a bog man on this side of the Atlantic.
24:19I mean, that's the headline.
24:21This is incredible.
24:23Wow, this case just took a turn.
24:24We have a lot of work to do.
24:25What for?
24:26The investigation's over.
24:27This is now a scientific discovery.
24:29Whoa, whoa, whoa.
24:29Not so fast.
24:30This is still a homicide.
24:32400-year-old murder.
24:33It's my first cold case.
24:35Mark is right.
24:35I would like to know who killed this early Port Wenian, too.
24:39It's part of our, what?
24:40History.
24:41History, Doc.
24:42Fine.
24:42As long as you leave me out of it, knock yourselves out.
24:44I have to make a call.
24:45Don't worry about nothing, Doc.
24:46You know I got this.
24:47Thanks, partner.
24:48Geneva didn't do it!
24:49Sorry, Jessica Fletcher.
24:51That's old news.
24:52What?
24:52Hi, Norman.
24:53It's Dr. Martin Best.
24:54Look at this.
24:55Yes, yes.
24:56It's been a while.
24:57Listen, I need a favor.
24:58I was wondering...
24:59What's all the hubbub?
25:01Geneva didn't kill Bruce.
25:03The dead body might be an early Port Wenian, and I'm so excited.
25:05Wait, there's no murder?
25:06No mystery.
25:07It's a cold case straight out of the freezer, right onto the grill.
25:11How are we going to unload these shirts?
25:13Honey, murder is still a murder.
25:15Hey, what are you two whispering about?
25:18Repairs.
25:19Come on, Bert.
25:19Let's go tighten the loose hinge.
25:23Yeah, the hinge.
25:23Great.
25:24All right, thanks, Norman.
25:25Yeah, and I'll send those Pete samples over to the lab right away.
25:27Okay, got it.
25:29I'll ask.
25:30Bye.
25:33Can I have everyone's attention?
25:35Hello?
25:37Excuse me?
25:38Who wants to make $1,000?
25:41Hmm.
25:42Well, at least you're predictable.
25:44I just got off the phone with a colleague, a forensic anthropologist from Harvard.
25:48Yeah, get on with it.
25:49We know you went to Harvard.
25:51Go Crimson.
25:52We just discovered a rare bog man who could be hundreds of years old.
25:56It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to study typhanomy and-
25:59Jump to the part where we get paid.
26:01Right.
26:02Researchers want to do DNA testing to identify any living relatives, and they'll pay $1,000
26:08per confirmed match.
26:09So what do we do, just pile in a van, go down to Boston?
26:13Nope.
26:13I'll open my office for anyone who wants to do genetic testing.
26:16Who's interested?
26:17Ooh.
26:18Great.
26:19Elaine will coordinate DNA collection.
26:21Absolutely.
26:24Detective Elaine Denton here.
26:26Mystery's not over yet.
26:28Who's the old dead dude?
26:29Was he still murdered?
26:30And most importantly, who here in Port Wynn has found their bog daddy?
26:34Their bog grampy.
26:37Bogfather, that's it.
26:38Only time and some DNA samples will tell.
26:42Need a new frisky friend for your show?
26:44I'm good with mysteries.
26:46Ew.
26:46Definitely no.
26:47Don't say that.
26:48But I do need a new cameraman.
26:50Let's talk.
26:53See?
26:53That's how they get you.
26:55One day they take your DNA.
26:56The next day you're in a police lineup for car theft in Kalamazoo.
27:00Come on, Dad.
27:01You love a chance to make some quick cash.
27:03The money's not that important.
27:06Meet you out back for a peek at the bog, man.
27:09Okay.
27:09I like that.
27:10See?
27:11Come on.
27:12I know you too well.
27:13We should do it.
27:14Your DNA leads to my DNA.
27:17And I can't risk it.
27:18Just don't do it.
27:23Glad you came in voluntarily, Gilbert.
27:26I'd hate to have to subpoena you.
27:27I don't know what you're talking about, but you're making me very nervous.
27:31In a small town, everybody's hiding something.
27:35I'm Detective Elaine Denton.
27:37Stay tuned for the next episode of Claw and Order.
27:40The Bogfather.
27:43Kind of stiff on that take.
27:45Yeah, I got a better one in me.
27:46New cameraman?
27:47Already?
27:48That's fast.
27:49That's show business.
27:50My dad asked if I came in.
27:52Don't tell him, okay?
27:52He's been really weird about that stuff.
27:55Not a problem.
27:56It's like you're not even here.
27:57It's like you're not even here.
28:00I'm going to shoot this.
28:01Lots of unspoken tension.
28:04Can it, Kronk?
28:05Yeah, Kronk.
28:10I promise I have been pounding water all day today like it's my job.
28:13We'll see if your veins agree.
28:17We'll be removing a pint to lower your ferritin levels.
28:21Should take about a half hour.
28:27Make a fist.
28:28I'm glad we got this in today.
28:29This morning you seemed very, uh...
28:31Pasadena?
28:37Wait, what?
28:38Oh, this is just how we do it.
28:40It's perfectly normal.
28:43It's textbook normal.
28:51Did I do something wrong?
28:53Offend you somehow?
28:55What?
28:55I don't know.
28:56It just feels like you can't stand being in the same room with me anymore.
29:01You know what?
29:02I don't have the time to deal with the emotional insecurities of every patient.
29:06I have to collect peat samples.
29:09Excuse me?
29:09What?
29:10What?
29:11I have important research to do and I'm running late.
29:15You know, it's funny.
29:16Um, this is the most engaged I have ever seen you and it's over a corpse.
29:21Yes, and you want to know why?
29:22Because unlike humans, corpses don't talk back.
29:25They don't tease.
29:26They don't gossip.
29:27Their tender little feelings don't get hurt.
29:29They aren't a constant tsunami of needs and opinions.
29:32And, at least with a corpse, I won't be surprised when it doesn't listen to me.
29:37I knew it.
29:38I never thought you were a right fit for Port Winn and I'm proving me right.
29:47What did you just do?
29:48I have to go.
29:49Where?
29:50Somewhere I can be alone.
29:53What does that mean?
30:20What does that mean?
30:23What does that mean?
30:35Noo!
30:37Noo!
30:43Maybe some.
30:50Or maybe some brain scars?
30:56Oh, my God.
31:38Two.
31:38Two.
31:39It was good, right?
31:40Oh, so creepy.
31:41Oh, my God.
31:41There's a hair.
31:42The Bogman.
31:44Tell your friends.
31:45Right through here, ladies.
31:46Right in there.
31:47Honey, I'm looking for the man.
31:51Greg Harrison, you are not doing what I think you're doing.
31:55Do not judge me until you see the electric bill.
31:57That is dirty money.
31:59Costs are up.
31:59Margins are down.
32:00So every dirty dollar helps.
32:02I'd show you the spreadsheet.
32:03No, no, no, no.
32:04I'm just going to get a raging headache.
32:05I try to protect you, my love.
32:07I know.
32:09You hate to see me bogged down by details.
32:12Oh.
32:13Okay.
32:15Hey.
32:16You make enough to fix the oven light?
32:17Yes.
32:18And perhaps enough to splurge on name brand mayo.
32:23Greg.
32:24You're such a tease.
32:26Ooh.
32:27Two more.
32:28Hey, Miss Dana.
32:28It was good, right?
32:30Tell your friends.
32:30Tell your friends.
32:32Any word from Harvard?
32:33Not yet.
32:34Oh, the DNA lab sent a couple of flags from the genetic screenings.
32:41Can you have Al come in?
32:43Al?
32:45Do I have to?
32:46What do you think, detective?
32:50Hey, thanks, Greg.
32:51Thanks, my love.
32:52How's it going, guys?
32:53A lot of dead ends.
32:54No pun intended.
32:55Whoa, wait, wait.
32:56Check this.
32:56Battle of Machias fought in Maine during the Revolutionary War.
33:00Musket balls, 18th century.
33:02It lines up.
33:03Strong working theory, George, adding it to the list.
33:06Glad you're having fun, but we opened in five.
33:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:10Going ahead without me.
33:13Last time I let him near the History Channel.
33:17So the DNA testing shows you have genetic markers
33:20for Marfan syndrome.
33:22What?
33:23Am I OK?
33:24Absolutely.
33:24You're going to be fine.
33:25No, it's a connective tissue disorder.
33:28Now, while it can be serious, your signs are the manageable ones.
33:31Just tall, thin, flexible joints, nearsightedness.
33:35You wear corrective lenses, right?
33:36Yeah.
33:37Listen, it's a good thing you took the DNA test.
33:39Now we know, so we can keep an eye on it.
33:41But again, there's absolutely nothing to worry about here.
33:43OK?
33:44See you at your end of physical.
33:47Wait, Doc.
33:47Doc, um, you said it's genetic?
33:51Correct.
33:52And is that from my mom's side or my dad's?
33:58In this case, from your father's side.
34:01OK, well, he's built like a truck and he's got perfect vision?
34:06Yes.
34:10So does that mean my dad is not my dad?
34:19Al, look, family isn't just genetics.
34:27You guys, the Bogman results are here.
34:29This is going to be so exciting.
34:31We'll read it out at the Salty Breeze.
34:32It'll be so fun.
34:32And really good content for my show, so Al, maybe we should just, what happened?
34:39Is he OK?
34:40You'll have to ask him.
34:42Al, Al, wait, what are you, come on, Al.
34:47Just leave it, Elaine.
34:53It's such a great photograph.
34:56Oh, this is so exciting.
35:01Martin.
35:03Lisa.
35:05What was that about?
35:07Dr. Patient Confidentiality.
35:09You just can't help being a jackass, can you?
35:13Dear Portwenians, we gather to honor history and the miracle of DNA testing.
35:22May I have ye olde envelope.
35:28Oh, can I get a drum roll, please?
35:37And the results are...
35:47Harvard has confirmed there is one living descendant of the Portwen Bogman.
35:53And that person is...
35:55Oh, snap.
35:56Martin Best.
35:57What?
35:59You're kidding.
36:00It's Martin?
36:02What about Aunt Sarah?
36:04It just says your name.
36:06It must be on your mother's side.
36:08But I didn't submit DNA.
36:11I may have borrowed some hairs from your hairbrush.
36:14Elaine, that's a complete violation of privacy, not to mention illegal on several levels.
36:18Oh, Martin, come on.
36:19Face it.
36:20This town's in your blood.
36:25It's a good thing we didn't send in our DNA, huh?
36:29You all right, kiddo?
36:31Yeah, Dad.
36:33Glad we didn't.
36:33Based on historical records, Harvard believes that the Bogman is a man who might be named
36:42James Brewster.
36:43I know that name.
36:43Yeah?
36:44You just said James Brewster.
36:45I know that name.
36:45I know that name.
36:46Hold on.
36:47Okay.
36:48Wait.
36:48Yeah, okay.
36:48Right here.
36:49In Nonos Wen's journal, he wrote, the 17th of June, 1759, this day ended in trouble
36:54with a fray betwixt James Brewster and our good townsman, a notorious recluse.
37:01Brewster mainly keeps to himself in a dreary shack by the bog, yet always finds cause to
37:08quarrel whenever he can.
37:10Yeah, he sounds like he's related to Martin.
37:12Martin.
37:12Yeah.
37:13This sounds like Doc.
37:17Martin.
37:20Wait.
37:21Wait.
37:21Okay.
37:21Wait.
37:22There's more.
37:22Apparently, a lot of people wanted him dead, so much so that Archibald, no knows when,
37:28challenged Brewster to a duel and killed him.
37:32Whoa.
37:33Wow.
37:34I think I just found the bog man's killer.
37:36I think we just solved the case.
37:37I think we just solved the case.
37:40Oh!
37:40I know, right?
37:42Oh!
37:43Oh!
37:44Yeah!
37:45Yeah!
37:46Yeah!
37:46Yeah!
37:47Yeah!
37:51Hey.
37:54What is going on with you?
37:56Are you gonna die?
37:58Because if you're gonna die, that's gonna make me wanna die.
38:01And I'm really too young and too cute to die.
38:04No.
38:05I'm not gonna die.
38:06I'm sorry if I...
38:08If I scare you.
38:09Okay, so then what did Martin tell you?
38:15Um, he said I'm, uh, double-jointed.
38:21That's it?
38:25Look, I'm sorry that I called you my frisky friend.
38:31I didn't mean that.
38:32I mean, I did mean that, but when I thought that you were going to die,
38:37it just, it made me realize that you are more than just a frisky friend.
38:46So, are you my girlfriend? Or, or no?
38:51Ah, yes.
38:54Yeah?
38:55Fine.
38:56Okay.
38:57I'm your girlfriend.
39:31Good evening, bog man.
39:34Good night, Dr. Bogman.
39:36Good night, Dr. Bogman.
39:36Good night, Dr. Bogman.
39:40Uh, watch out.
39:41It's the bog man.
39:43Stop.
39:44It's, like, so sad.
39:46We always knew he was the saddest man alive, and now it's, like, fact.
39:50Shut up.
39:52Why are you fucking kidding me?
39:53I know.
40:31Martin, Martin, are you okay?
40:36I'm here to apologize.
40:38Oh.
40:39The way I spoke to you at my office, it was wrong.
40:43Have a good night.
40:47Wait, that's it?
40:49That's your apology?
40:50I'm not sure what else to say.
40:51Why can't you just talk to me?
40:54I mean, tell me, what's going on with you?
41:03I have a hard time with blood.
41:17A phobia.
41:18Oh.
41:19About blood.
41:21A blood phobia, if you will.
41:24Okay.
41:26Wow.
41:29This entire time?
41:33But you're a doctor.
41:36A surgeon who can't stand the sight of blood.
41:39I came here hoping that I could still practice medicine.
41:46It's proven harder to do than I thought.
41:48That's why Elaine assists me.
41:52And why act like a lunatic every time I try to take your blood.
41:56I see.
42:02So, why tell me now?
42:09I...
42:13I don't want to be the bog man.
42:26Well, your dog seems to love you.
42:36He's not my dog.
42:37He sure seems like your dog.
42:39He's not my dog.
42:41He's not my dog.
42:47I don't want to feelbelong.
42:48He's not my dog.
42:51He's no not.
42:52Do you?
43:03You can't do it right.
43:04Yeah.
43:07I see.
43:08I'll find you.
43:08You can't do it right.
43:08And your dog.
Comments