- 12 hours ago
After going out on a dog fighting call with Yemana, Wojo gets bit by a potentially rabid German Shepherd.
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00:02Good morning, gentlemen.
00:05There he is.
00:07On time, I believe.
00:12Good morning, Barney.
00:14Sorry I'm late.
00:16It's really too close to call.
00:21You're looking very well.
00:25You're looking, uh, the same.
00:36Excuse me, I think I need some help.
00:39Oh, you can have it. How much would you like?
00:42Sorry.
00:44Oh, uh, look, um, I'm Detective Sergeant R. N. Harris.
00:48How can I help you?
00:49My name is Slade, Carolyn Slade.
00:52Can I, um, get you a cup of coffee or tea if you prefer?
00:58I think I have a missing person.
01:00Ah, who might that be?
01:03Mr. Marvin Slade.
01:05Your father?
01:07My husband.
01:10Oh, that Marvin Slade.
01:12Problem, Harris?
01:13She's got a husband.
01:16He's missing.
01:18I see.
01:19Three days ago, he went to the store for a pack of cigarettes and...
01:23I'm, uh, Captain Miller, Mrs, uh...
01:26Slade.
01:27Carolyn.
01:30You're very welcome.
01:32Um, Sergeant Harris will take all the information, uh, Mrs. Slade, uh, and we'll do our best to find your
01:39husband.
01:39Won't we, Sergeant Harris?
01:41Hmm?
01:42Oh, uh, uh, yeah.
01:43Yeah, yeah, Marvin.
01:44Please.
01:44Won't you have a seat?
01:47Please, don't mention it.
01:50Sounds like a runaway husband.
01:52That's exactly what it sounds like.
01:55Nick, I had a cat that ran away from you once.
01:59Probably the same thing, Nick.
02:01But it still hurts to think that it wasn't happy with me.
02:06Cats are like that.
02:08I prefer to think that it was run over.
02:12It's easier, that word.
02:1812th Precinct, Wojohuets.
02:21No kidding.
02:24Where?
02:28Yeah, I got it.
02:30Yeah.
02:34Somebody's conducting dogfights in a warehouse over on 10th.
02:37Dogfights?
02:38Yeah.
02:39How humane are you and Nick.
02:42Dogfights?
02:43What ever happened to band concerts and picnics in the park?
02:47Watching animals fight has been a favorite pastime since the days of ancient Greece and Rome.
02:51I'm aware of that.
02:54Tens of thousands of people who fill huge coliseums and watch exotic animals rip each other apart in a cruel
03:01contest.
03:01So that's how dogfighting got started?
03:04And the NFL.
03:09Oh, uh, bar and Liz called.
03:11Liz called?
03:12When?
03:12Yeah, uh, just before you came in.
03:14You didn't tell me?
03:15Well, just now.
03:18She'd leave her number where she's calling from?
03:20I thought she was at home.
03:25Uh, no, she's, uh, she's on vacation, sort of.
03:31Oh.
03:32Well, she said she'd call back.
03:35Okay, thanks.
03:39Sorry.
03:40No, it's all right.
03:44Okay.
03:48Sometimes separate vacations can be a healthy thing.
03:53Of course, you lose a double occupancy rate.
03:57.
04:02.
04:15guitar solo
04:45guitar solo
05:09It's just that it's so inconsiderate just to go and walk off like that.
05:13I was furious.
05:16And then I thought, it was my fault as well.
05:23Look, you've been very understanding.
05:29I've never been attracted to understanding men.
05:32Oh.
05:34I've always been attracted to the brute.
05:37I guess it must be some weird need in me to be needed.
05:42Simpatico with the pathetic, huh?
05:44Perfect phrase.
05:46Isn't that from Annie Hall?
05:48No, that's an original thought.
05:52It just shows you the difference a good agent can make.
05:59Do you have any idea where she went?
06:02Well, perhaps you saw her leave.
06:04She's a woman with two children.
06:07A girl 21, a boy 12.
06:13Yes, that's right.
06:15The slim little blonde with an interesting figure.
06:19That's her.
06:21Tell her her husband called.
06:24Captain Barney Miller.
06:26New York City Police Department.
06:37Uh, Barney?
06:40Um, I got all the information from Mrs. Slade.
06:43I'm going to start checking out some possible whereabouts on the husband.
06:46Okay.
06:46But, uh, it looks like a case of masculine ego tantrums.
06:51Maybe.
06:52What gets into some men, Barney?
06:54I mean, look at her.
06:57Lovely.
06:59Faithful, warm, compassionate.
07:02Uh, Harris, let's not make any judgments.
07:05There are two sides to every story.
07:09Especially in a marriage.
07:11But it's obvious, Barney.
07:12I mean, one person does all the giving and one does all the taking.
07:15Let's not oversimplify, Harris.
07:19I mean, there could be any number of extenuating circumstances.
07:23Yeah, well, but I mean...
07:24I mean, uh, sometimes even the most objective view
07:27only reveals the tip of the iceberg.
07:32Oh.
07:35It's the mustache.
07:37Is it crooked?
07:38No, no, no.
07:39I just forgot that you had shaved it off.
07:41What is that, uh, uh, uh, toupee?
07:46Barney.
07:46It's for comfort.
07:47I mean, it's not vanity.
07:49Of course.
07:49Of course.
07:51Come on in here.
07:52This is ridiculous.
07:55Crime is rampant in the streets,
07:56and you guys go around busting up athletic events.
07:59Hey, dear sport.
08:00What do we got, Nick?
08:02Uh, this is, uh, Joseph Lasorda.
08:04He owns one of the fighting dogs.
08:06That's right.
08:07Just like some guys own racehorses,
08:09our baseball teams.
08:10Hold it.
08:10Where's, where's Bojo?
08:11Uh, he's searching the neighborhood with some uniforms.
08:14He's the only one we got.
08:16There's dogs and people all over the place.
08:18What sort of law makes it illegal to put on sporting events?
08:22Pitting two helpless animals against each other
08:25can hardly be described as the American concept of good sportsmanship.
08:29Oh, yeah, like, uh, duck hunting.
08:30Some guy trying to blow away little birdies with a shotgun.
08:35Mr. Lasorda, I have no intention of discussing the morality of the law.
08:38I just enforce it.
08:40This way, Mr. Lasorda.
08:43You arrest prize fighters.
08:45Two human beings trying to knock each other senseless.
08:49You get a point.
08:51Dog fighting's no different.
08:54Only smaller trunks.
08:56Right?
08:59Have a seat.
09:02What if you can't find?
09:04Why don't we just cross that bridge when we come to it?
09:09We?
09:11I was speaking editorially.
09:17Harris?
09:18Barney?
09:22We better be careful.
09:25Oh, we're trying, Barney.
09:26We really are.
09:29Age?
09:3049.
09:32Uh, that'd make you about, uh, seven in dog use.
09:36Right?
09:40Barney, I got bit.
09:42What?
09:43Yeah, I was chasing one of the dogs out of the warehouse, and I got him cornered, and then
09:46he bit me.
09:47You know, the one I'm talking about is a big German shepherd.
09:49He's got a black mark on his head.
09:51Yeah, that's Matt.
09:51That's my dog.
09:53Well, where the hell is he?
09:54Take it easy.
09:55Barney, we didn't get the dog.
09:57He got away.
09:58Yeah, but we got the head man.
09:59The dog only works for him.
10:02You know what I gotta go through if we don't catch that dog?
10:05The Pasteur treatment consists of 14 vaccine injections, placed directly into the intermuscular
10:12area of his stomach.
10:13One a day for two weeks.
10:19It's not very pleasant.
10:20Dietrich, was that necessary?
10:22I know, bad news, so kill the messenger.
10:27I, uh, I gotta get down to the pond, Barney, and see if I can find that dog.
10:31Just take it easy, Wojo.
10:32I'm sure the dog is gonna be found.
10:34Yeah?
10:35Sure.
10:37How many shepherds named Max could there be in New York City?
10:56You know, my dog, he could have been a contender.
11:00What happened?
11:02Same old story, I guess.
11:04You win a few fights, you get cocky.
11:07You know, you don't train, you're in the wrong crowd, all of a sudden some flashy Doberman
11:13comes along.
11:15I've seen it before.
11:17Breaks your heart, though.
11:24Twelve precincts, Yamana.
11:27Oh, hi, Liz.
11:28He's downstairs somewhere.
11:30Yeah.
11:34Wait a minute.
11:38No, it's not him.
11:41Yeah.
11:42I will.
11:44Goodbye, Liz.
11:47Hey, Max.
11:48Hey, Max.
11:50That's Max, my dog.
11:51He must have followed the squad car here.
11:54What's he doing here?
11:56Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what does he want?
11:59He wants me out of this cell.
12:02What did you tell him about the bail and stuff like that?
12:05Look, just open this door and let me out of here and we'll forget about the whole thing.
12:09Can't, you can't do that.
12:10Don't be a hero.
12:11If he thinks I'm in trouble, he'll kill.
12:14Oh, my God.
12:17Okay, take it easy.
12:19Take it easy, Max.
12:21See, I got the key here.
12:24I'm going to the cage.
12:26Take it easy.
12:29See, I got the key in the lock.
12:31I'm going to let him out.
12:32Okay.
12:33Okay.
12:34Okay.
12:39See, uh, he don't use his head.
12:48Everything's sealed off.
12:49Nobody's seen him leave.
12:50He's probably still in the building.
12:53He come up here?
12:55Has anybody seen him?
12:56He's in the building.
12:57We just haven't caught him yet.
12:58We've got to get him checked out, Bart.
13:00I'm starting to feel peculiar already.
13:02Wojo, I'm reasonably certain that it's just your imagination.
13:05Oh, my, yes.
13:07The incubation period for rabies is ten days to two weeks.
13:10It's highly unlikely you'd feel any reaction at this stage.
13:13Don't tell me what I feel, Wojo.
13:15I know what I feel.
13:16Wojo.
13:17Come on, Max ain't got the rabies.
13:20Yeah, how do you know?
13:21Because he's probably giving the dog his shots.
13:23What shots?
13:26His rabies shots.
13:28Didn't you get your dog his annual rabies shot as required by law?
13:33Oh, those.
13:34I skipped a few years.
13:36It threw his timing.
13:38Oh, God.
13:40Are you on Mr. Morris, the dog catcher?
13:44The title is Humane Technician.
13:49Mr. Morris, I'm Captain Miller.
13:52Captain, it's nice to meet you.
13:53Oh, sure.
13:54It's nice to meet everybody.
13:55I mean, why don't we just sit around and have some tea?
13:57Howie, I'll start watching me start frothing at the mouth.
14:03Funny.
14:05Wojo, come here.
14:06Sit down.
14:12Gentlemen.
14:13Any luck on the husband?
14:15No.
14:16I found him.
14:18Checked into a hotel on Canal.
14:21Congratulations.
14:22Mm-hmm.
14:23And he's not alone.
14:25Got a chick with him.
14:27I see.
14:30Harris, if that thing bugs you, why don't you take it off?
14:34Mm-mm.
14:35Carol likes it.
14:37Carol.
14:39Mrs. Slade.
14:43Harris, you're not, uh, getting involved, are you?
14:47Oh, no, Barney.
14:48But, uh, hey, look, I mean, the woman's entitled to some illusions.
14:58Barney.
15:00Somebody up here looking for a dog?
15:02Oh, my God.
15:04Max.
15:05All right, uh, just, just hold on, Levitt.
15:07Just, just, nobody get excited.
15:09Everybody take it easy.
15:10Well, what's going on?
15:12Uh.
15:13What?
15:15Uh, Levitt, just, just hold on to the dog.
15:18The dog's already bitten one person.
15:20I don't want to see any more accidents.
15:21It's a biting dog?
15:25Not necessarily.
15:26Not necessarily.
15:29Just don't do anything to frighten the dog.
15:33Hold on, hold on, Levitt.
15:35Hold on, Levitt.
15:36Hold on, Levitt.
15:37Levitt, hang on the dog.
15:38Hold on, Levitt.
15:39Hang on that dog.
15:40Hey, hey, hey.
15:41Hold on, Levitt.
15:43I'm holy, sir.
15:44I'm holy.
15:44I'm holy.
15:45Mr. Morris, what do you suggest?
15:46Get the owner to call off the dog.
15:49Okay, Mr. Lasorda.
15:50Is that the dog's name, sir?
15:53Mr. Lasorda, will you please call off the dog?
15:56Why?
15:57So you're going to lock him up like an animal?
15:59No way.
16:01He lived like a fighter.
16:03Let him go out like one.
16:05Mr. Lasorda, please, don't force us to use drastic measures.
16:07Call off the dog.
16:10To a precinct, your manor.
16:13Barney?
16:14Yeah?
16:14It's your wife.
16:17Well, I'll be right there.
16:20Hey, lady, sir.
16:20No, no, no.
16:22Come on to the dog.
16:22Come on to the dog.
16:25Liz, listen, I'm going to have to ask you to hold.
16:29We've got a bit of a situation here, so I'm going to put you on hold, all right?
16:33Yeah, hang on.
16:37Is that the Lasorda?
16:40We have weapons.
16:41I don't want to have to use them.
16:42I don't want to see anybody else get hurt, so come on.
16:45You're true to defenseless dog.
16:46I may have no other choice.
16:49You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
16:52All right.
16:53Gentlemen, stand back.
17:02Okay, hold it.
17:05Max, come here, boy.
17:11Get it, Captain.
17:13They're all no cards.
17:14Good, doggie.
17:16Don't call him doggie.
17:17He's a contender.
17:18I'm sorry.
17:20What do you say, Mr. Morris?
17:21He'll be all right now, Captain.
17:23He has what he needs.
17:24A little attention, a little comforting.
17:26Okay, you'll take care of him?
17:27Yeah.
17:29Uh, Levitt, you can go now.
17:31Levitt?
17:34Thank you, sir.
17:36Sir, I want to apologize.
17:37For what?
17:38For my inaction, sir.
17:39It was embarrassing.
17:40The circumstances are quite all right.
17:42No, I'm really sorry, sir.
17:43I mean it.
17:44Forget it, Levitt.
17:44Forget it.
17:45I really feel bad, and I...
17:46Levitt, I don't have time to stand here and listen to your apologies.
17:49Yes, sir.
17:49I'm sorry.
17:51I meant for the apologies.
17:58Oh, my God.
17:59Liz.
18:01Uh, Liz?
18:02Oh, thank God you're still here.
18:05Well, it's a long story.
18:06We had a dog up here.
18:08Wojo got bit.
18:10Liz.
18:14Yes, same old story.
18:17No, I'm fine.
18:18I'm really fine, Liz.
18:23Uh, Liz, I'm going to pick up in the other room.
18:26Just, just hold on.
18:29Excuse me.
18:32Say hello for me, will you?
18:34I mean, if my name comes up.
18:45Hello.
18:47Oh, hello there.
18:49I came as soon as I could.
18:50Oh, thank you.
18:51We really appreciate that.
18:52Well, you said you had some...
18:54Something the matter?
18:57No, uh...
18:58Look, if there's anything at all on your mind, just, uh...
19:01It's, it's, it's, you...
19:04Oh, my God.
19:06You see, uh...
19:08Well, it's, it's just that I, I had to shave for an assignment last week, and, uh...
19:14Well, hey, look, you said that you had liked it, and so I...
19:16And so you're always thinking of others, aren't you?
19:18It's kind of a hobby.
19:22I'm going to have a little seat.
19:30Well?
19:31Oh, well, I like that, too.
19:34There's something exciting about new growth.
19:42Oh, um, I found your husband.
19:44Really?
19:45Is he all right?
19:45Oh, just fine.
19:46He's at, uh, a downtown hotel.
19:49Well, thank God he's not hurt.
19:51Not so far.
19:54Was, um...
19:55Was there anyone with him?
19:58Well, uh, I don't like to...
20:00Look, I don't want to know.
20:04I mean, what difference would it make, anyway?
20:08Anyway, I...
20:09I think it's a basic flaw in my character.
20:19You've been so kind, and considerate, and decent, and gentle.
20:27Hey, it was easy.
20:29Was it really?
20:30As falling off a log.
20:37Look, uh, good luck, and, um, I'll see you around.
20:42Oh.
20:44Goodbye.
20:48Oh, uh, you forgot the address.
20:54How about that?
21:00No, listen.
21:01I mean, if the kids are really enjoying themselves, sure, sure.
21:04Take a few more days.
21:05Why not?
21:09Yeah, we can talk when you get back.
21:15All right, I'll, uh...
21:17I'll wait for your call.
21:20Yeah?
21:27I do, too.
21:32Yeah, goodbye.
21:39Yeah.
21:40I saw the light on your line go off.
21:46You're a very good detective, Nick.
21:47Thanks.
21:52Uh, what can I do for you?
21:54Uh, I was wondering what kind of plans you had for dinner today.
22:00I got a Cornish hand I was going to stuff.
22:04Nick, I appreciate it.
22:05I really do, but, uh, not tonight, huh?
22:08Okay.
22:11I didn't want to slave over a hot plate anyway.
22:16Yeah.
22:17Yeah, hi.
22:18Uh, uh...
22:21Uh...
22:22Well, you guys are busy.
22:23No, no, no, no, what?
22:26Well, Nick had been saying that, you know, maybe we should all go out tonight and have a few beers.
22:33It was Cornish Hen.
22:39Harrison, uh, Dietrich busy.
22:41You call us, Bart?
22:44Listen.
22:46Listen, everybody, I, uh...
22:50I know you're all very concerned about me, and I appreciate it.
22:54I really do, but...
22:55It's really not as bad as, as, as it may...
23:03I guess it's been apparent for some time that Liz and I are having our troubles.
23:09You, you don't have to talk about this, Bart.
23:11Whoa, Joe, please.
23:14Anyway, we...
23:16We thought maybe...
23:17We took a little time apart.
23:20Time to...
23:22Think things over.
23:25But we're talking.
23:26We, we, we, we are.
23:27We're, we've had some very frank, some candid, some very productive discussions.
23:34Are you going to issue a joint communique?
23:39Just trying to break your tension.
23:42Thank you, Dietrich.
23:45Thank you, everybody.
23:48Barney, look.
23:49If, if you ever need a, uh...
23:52A mustache?
23:55Yeah, right.
23:57I've, uh, I got an extra.
23:59Hey, Barney.
24:01My grandfather had something to say about marriage.
24:03I have no doubts about that.
24:07Marriage is like a horse with a broken leg.
24:11You can shoot it, but that don't fix the leg.
24:21I like that.
24:25That'sautres.
24:36Thank you for...
24:47Thanks, Dave.
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