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  • 15 hours ago
A short film about my struggle with anxiety, especially with my 20th birthday coming up. It is my goodbye to the teenage years, that I always dreamed of, but never been able to experience.
And the hope of a better adulthood.
Transcript
00:00.
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00:09.
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00:10I ran up to my dad, crying.
00:15I was scared to turn 11 years old.
00:19Because it meant that I'd be a year closer to turning 20.
00:24I turn 20 today.
00:29The fear of getting older has followed me around ever since I could remember.
00:35And as soon as I turned 16, I wrote a poem about it.
00:41The growing fear of getting older.
00:45With every passing birthday, you'll have to accept that your teenagehood will soon be nothing more than a distant memory.
00:53And when you're asked about something from the past,
00:56you'll realize all you can answer is,
00:58It's been so long I can't remember.
01:06With every birthday, you'll get more scared of the next one.
01:10The celebrations stop and
01:12I think I'm getting too old for this begins to be somewhat of a daily sentence.
01:16.
01:21And with that, you start losing the child in you that once counted down the days until the big one.
01:26The one day where it's all about you.
01:37With my 20th birthday approaching, the fear of the big two decades got more intense with each week.
01:50I began to feel like I was at the starting point of rotting, because at the age of 25, your
01:54body slowly begins to put off collagen.
02:12Routing is often a metaphor for the end of a life.
02:16But that's not always the case.
02:21Sometimes, sometimes rotting is the beginning of a completely new life.
02:28Just like it is for grapes turning into wine.
02:33And we're doing so that, apparently.
02:42They're still there.
02:46So let's go.
02:58This happens.
03:00We will throw up a little outro.
03:00This time is the beginning of a year of two monoc�ies.
03:00We're doing a little bit of a place to be found in the moment.
03:15Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
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