#video #short #film #movie
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:10I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:14got to stick with family.
00:14Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to do what the shit's normally
00:18created.
00:18Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and routine.
00:22I reckon it will help them visualize me as bod.
00:25Okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're insane.
00:28This could cost you the role.
00:30Now, fuck.
00:34Saju, how many of you did this?
00:36Mommy, you met Felicia.
00:37This is the team.
00:38Oh, this is your agent.
00:42Mommy, remember I said wait in a car and I'm going to get the sweets.
00:46Okay, that's good.
00:46Don't give me a ticket.
00:48Felicia.
00:48Zafika.
00:49What's going on?
00:50Same as usual, babysitting bonnets.
00:52That only auntie's waiting for you.
00:53You're a disgrace.
00:54Felicia, you're going to get him the job.
00:56Yes.
00:57If he kills me.
00:59My Shaja is just perfect for the job.
01:00I'll tell you why.
01:01Okay.
01:01When he was a little boy, he used to say,
01:03Mama, I want a license to kill.
01:05Remember, Shaja?
01:06Oh, how specific.
01:07I don't remember that.
01:09Yeah.
01:10Oh, look, he's got the military.
01:11Just be a minute, okay?
01:12Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:13Bye, I'm so sorry.
01:14You're not a black lady.
01:20Sorry.
01:21You are a black lady.
01:22I know.
01:26What the fuck is this?
01:27You tell me.
01:34Oh, you know what?
01:35I can't get into this right now.
01:36Okay, listen.
01:37None of this matters, okay?
01:39No one needs the fucking news.
01:41However, this is a big problem.
01:44The person you assaulted, you broke his arm, and now he wants an apology.
01:47Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head,
01:49but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
01:52and counting, young and brown, your core fan base.
01:55Assaulted?
01:56This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
01:59It was a kind of straight page, huh?
02:01Yeah, in hindsight.
02:02I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:04Okay, fine.
02:04Just give him his apology.
02:05Okay, good.
02:05All right.
02:06So how are you going to do?
02:07Oh, no.
02:08You have to apologize.
02:09On a video by end of day, or he's pressing charges.
02:12Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:14My mom usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:16That's on me.
02:17I can't be dealing with this.
02:18I have to be with the family.
02:20I have to make it right.
02:20This is about your career, Shah.
02:22Your credibility in your community,
02:24for the people that you see you're doing all of this for.
02:30Has he got more followers of me?
02:31Shah!
02:34Shah Latif here.
02:35Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
02:37I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
02:40You might have heard about it, or seen it.
02:42Well, I lived it.
02:43And I want you to know that in that moment,
02:45I wasn't thinking at all.
02:46I was acting out of sheer instinct.
02:50Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
02:54And I would never take it for granted.
02:56And there's nothing more painful to me
02:58than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own community.
03:01And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way.
03:04It hurts me deeply.
03:05You're good, yeah?
03:07Yeah, I'm good, yeah.
03:10So you've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:14Oxford educated.
03:15But no sense.
03:17Why did you attack that young man?
03:18Don't listen to him.
03:19Come, let's take a selfie.
03:50And I want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power
03:51and to compete with you.
03:52My headshot.
03:53Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
03:56Don't talk, Felty.
03:59Alberta?
04:01She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:03You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:05We just...
04:06Come on.
04:07You worried about what Nauti Naila thinks?
04:09Nungi Naila.
04:10Nungi Naila.
04:11Oh, my God.
04:13Nungi Naila.
04:14She always shows skin because she's got no style.
04:17Look, where is she?
04:17She's probably too busy checking herself out in the mirror
04:19to come host her own party.
04:21I need more letters.
04:23Such a few.
04:24I need more letters.
04:34Samina.
04:35I need more letters.
04:36I need more letters.
04:38So happy you could come.
04:40We decided to co-host this year.
04:42This is why you made Kamal, Tahira.
04:44But you know Naila,
04:46how do you do this?
04:46She doesn't have any money.
04:48She doesn't have any money.
04:49I'm not going to do it.
04:50I'm going to have a paint house.
04:53Quran says charity is a blessing.
04:55Garden where you can eat.
04:56Please eat.
04:57Nungi Naila.
04:58Idh Mubarak.
04:59Idh Mubarak.
05:00Idh Mubarak.
05:01What the fuck?
05:02Don't leave my sight.
05:03Okay.
05:04Don't leave my sight.
05:05Idh Mubarak.
05:08Hello, ladies.
05:10Idh Mubarak.
05:11Idh Mubarak.
05:11Idh Mubarak.
05:13Idh Mubarak.
05:14Sid, now.
05:16In the same seat.
05:17Now he has passed.
05:18You are the eldest.
05:19No, thank you.
05:20I am fine standing.
05:22Baba.
05:22Go your favor.
05:23Don't tell me, yeah?
05:24Is that how you are going to kill us, Bond?
05:26By raising the blood sugar?
05:29Yeah, I will mention that to the writers.
05:31Maybe that's him.
05:34Maybe.
05:34Yeah, maybe.
05:35Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
05:36Something with my food in it.
05:38No, no.
05:38You are the only one who is going to kill me.
05:45I am fine.
05:46I am fine.
05:46Wait, I am hot right now.
05:55Shah, good first try, good first try.
05:57But I am going to need you to do another apology video.
06:00First, you forgot to say the words, I am sorry.
06:02Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:04He's buff.
06:05Keith says he's gone mental.
06:07Yes, fucking heart.
06:08Sorry, can you mum focus, please?
06:10This is the latest.
06:12Well, this guy likes you.
06:17Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop.
06:20He's their community like ten times.
06:23It feels like you're begging it.
06:24Maybe down the brow.
06:26I don't get it what is a problem.
06:27What's up, man?
06:29I'm 22, mate.
06:30What were you trying to get wiped out?
06:32Get it to me sooner rather than later.
06:34Sir, this is not going away.
06:36Hi, everyone.
06:37Shah Latif here.
06:38Now, last night at the King's Museum, a brother and I came into conflict.
06:43I should not have reacted the way that I did.
06:46And the brother in question, perhaps, should not have run at me with a metal object the way that he
06:51did.
06:52Nuba is a community-led.
06:55It's not fucking community-led.
06:56The fact is, we're all in this together.
06:58And in the future, I promise to use my platform not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:04Bro.
07:05Nuba is full.
07:07You want some chai or something?
07:10No.
07:11Nuba.
07:11Bro, we good?
07:12I'm good.
07:13Are you good?
07:13Yeah, I'm good, bro.
07:14We good?
07:15I'm good.
07:15Are you good?
07:16Yeah, I'm good.
07:17I'm good then.
07:18Nuba, not Nuba.
07:19What are you doing?
07:19I'm trying to focus, man.
07:20You are distracting me.
07:22All right.
07:23Yes.
07:23Yo, they got them little laddus over there with the pink and green balls on them.
07:26You want them?
07:26Big man, please.
07:27I don't want laddus right now, okay?
07:29I just want to concentrate.
07:30Are you supposed to be holding it on his hand?
07:33Oh, yeah.
07:33Shit.
07:34In a bit, yeah?
07:35Don't bring me no laddus.
07:36We'll be forward.
07:37That's me.
07:39Move the baby.
07:40Oh, we're talking about chai.
07:42Hey.
07:44Yeah, I got it.
07:44Assalamualaikum, assalamualaikum.
07:45You came in?
07:46Where have you been?
07:47I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
07:49Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
07:51So if I just die standing here alone...
07:53Please, please don't do this now.
07:55You left me.
07:56I'm sorry.
07:57I'm going to get up.
07:58My name.
07:59My Salim is coming.
08:04Salim!
08:06My Salim!
08:09Salim!
08:15Salim!
08:24Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
08:32Oh, Baba!
08:37Look, Mr. Tobai.
08:39Oh, I'm in my house.
08:40Look at him, the dancing monkey.
08:42Doing his mother's dirty bidding.
08:44Making Russian prostitutes pregnant.
08:45Look.
08:46No, he's not, Mummy.
08:46That was a joke that I just made.
08:50Oh, look at that fresh spray.
08:52Zofi, weakest of us all.
08:54Good, you're right.
08:56don't leave she's coming don't shut it down can i borrow your money for a minute i need my
09:01co-host in the kitchen okay we're just gonna okay okay no no let's go let's go let's go let's
09:05go
09:09our kpi is the most interesting thing about this okay it's the retention of the customer base off
09:14to that discount period you know it's off the charts people want more community-driven rides
09:17yes salim yes what are you saying bro yes look at this guy you good yeah come join us man
09:24join us
09:24yeah i've always been doing that anyway yeah i got you some ludus bro thank you thank you yeah so
09:28i
09:28never got your number how you been i've been good bro yeah you've been breaking shit what do you mean
09:33by that glass ceilings thank you try man trying and i got his arm it's just a fracture hey just
09:42to bring
09:42this back to what we're talking about before you got here yeah um you know our number of drivers are
09:46growing by the day we'll be in all key five bars by june so move up sick idea in it
09:51i've been there
09:51from day one i remember bro i'm so proud of this guy customer so proud and you know what's amazing
09:55he's always been an entrepreneur if anything he just went from selling grams to instagram
10:04just out of interest what was the most your credit situation with the criminal record and everything
10:08no no problems whatsoever no issues and just for clarity um i didn't go inside for selling mall
10:13it's not just five bit of iron disorder it was your self-defense it was really before in a way
10:18he's
10:18a ride or die and he was there for me any credit issues though no credit issues because i'm going
10:22all in with everything that i've got right so if you need any credit if you need financing just
10:26talk to me sorry just i was done the impression we were coming in seed rather than source series a
10:32see this conversation here this is in fact the closest he's been to the business right
10:38it's too close okay give me back my doodos then
10:44uh even for me personally the most important quality by amuba is in fact the quality of the
10:50relationships we're not just there for them when we want because that's bullshit that's fake
10:56get the fuck off me bro i don't know
11:01and anyway i've always had a passion for customer services it's my thing that's one thing i picked up
11:05in dubai that's what we do best hospitality that's our culture one might say the muslim way of doing
11:10business i love the idea i'm going to present it to the guys see what they say well you're taking
11:15this you're trying to get investment from dubai yeah okay yeah you've been no no i'm just saying
11:24you know dubai works for people with you know all like with the well i mean what the fuck's this
11:29guy
11:29gonna do in dubai man he's gonna let you in bro you don't wanna go there man i'm all in
11:33yeah remember
11:33that he was disrespectful he referred to your quiff like that there was no need
11:40it looks good sha got your second apology yeah that's not gonna work first of all what was up
11:47with that background if you post that you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich
11:51arsehole also you forgot to say sorry again what the first class into them kia nila
11:59next year read this back at yours no no absolutely yes very kind of you to step in this year
12:14it's because uh i worry for him for all of you it's so much pressure that's very kind of you
12:25to worry
12:25i see a bit of your sister in him
12:35does shachana have someone you can talk to he has me rukaiya had you too but she needed more help
12:42nah but pichariya anything kudikok she doesn't know anything she was i love please it's all good
12:49my son is going to be the next james bond we all couldn't be more proud
12:57it's okay to talk about these struggles now really
13:02thank you it's all good it's first class
13:38kia shah latif israeli jasus
13:59shah we need that apology we're running out of time i've literally written it out for you
14:04just find a quiet neutral room record it and send it back now before it's too fucking late okay
14:14for fuck's sake
14:32mind interrupting something
14:36yeah a conversation can you fucking close the door please
14:41thank you is this like you two um i like her texting wow so how long has this been going
14:48on
14:48six months three months okay so this is this is nothing can we please not do this in front of
14:53shah i'm sure i'm not going to tell anyone come here can we not do this in front of shah
14:56i came here
14:57for you but i never asked you to did i but i asked me to i never calm down i
15:01never fucking asked
15:02you to and this this whole thing you're doing here this is what i'm talking about this is the whole
15:05so just to clarify you didn't come in to see zilfie then for the thing no yes does he know
15:09by the
15:09way oh no no fuck's sake well yeah he's gonna find out now i'm not gonna say anything i've got
15:13your back i've got your back look we don't have to tell anyone let's just be real about what this
15:19is because this is this is something right me and you both know it what does that even mean bro
15:24you you live a million miles away okay you have a whole life you have fucking house keys
15:29car keys so so many keys okay i have one key i can give you keys i don't want your
15:34keys okay
15:35i want mine yo can i just step in here for a minute offer maybe a different perspective
15:38from my own more mature experience yeah i want an honest answer from both of you okay
15:44all right now let's say let's say you've been texting there's some emotional ambiguity about
15:51where you both stand all right yeah you can relate right you send a message a heartfelt one
15:56instead of it going green it goes gray what does that mean to you it means you're blocked
16:05fuck off really yeah let me just show you this okay i'm gonna ask you to leave now
16:09i'll show you this quickly no no no oi don't say anything to anyone i'm chill
16:20it's not fucking chill
16:27with saigon who will lead the prayer pasha okay but he recites beautifully but i think i should
16:34lead i will you seated i won't be seated
16:37let someone else lead listen you asswipes i can run circles around you idiots i will lead
16:51by so desperately pursuing the role of bond an icon of the white establishment charlatif is
16:57exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction and so he joins a long line of brown men who think
17:02that by becoming our oppressor he's somehow liberating all of us and he puts a filter on
17:06as imdb pick to look more white
17:19allah hu akbar allah hu akbar la ilaha illallah allahu akbar
17:30hey charlatif here i was involved in an incident last night at the king's museum that was both
17:36unfortunate and avoidable and i'm deeply sorry
17:39you fucking thing
17:43bismillahirrahmanirrahim
17:45alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen
17:46charlatif here last night at the king's museum i
17:50fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object and apparently i'm the one who has to apologize
17:59hi charlatif here literally nothing to apologize for trying to save my career
18:03and my life so i'll fuck you and your little tiktok you little
18:12howinizi stand up a fool
18:12no
18:14abi
18:37samim
18:37Hello?
18:40Yeah, is this Sid?
18:42Uh, yeah. Hi.
18:43Hi, this is Shah Latif.
18:46Is it? Actually?
18:48Yeah, it is actually. Bro, I just want to say,
18:51I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.
18:56No excuses. I was banging out of order.
19:01I just don't know what came over me.
19:02I really hope you can find it in your heart to please forgive me.
19:08Yo, I appreciate this, man. I really do.
19:12I was going to call my lawyers, but then the fact you called, man.
19:16Oh, bro, he's been eating me up the whole day.
19:18I can't tell you how much this means, man. Legit.
19:23Well, do you mind just sending me what you just said?
19:26Like, in a recording?
19:29Sorry?
19:30I need the engagement, bro.
19:32Right. I mean, I guess so.
19:35Nice, Ryan. Appreciate it.
19:37All right. Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate.
19:39Just remember, keep the bid under 90 for the algorithm, kid.
19:43Mm-hmm. I will do.
19:45All right.
19:45See you.
19:46See you.
19:50See you.
19:51Huh!
19:58What is it?
19:59What is it?
20:01What is it?
20:06What happened?
20:06What happened?
20:06You fell.
20:07Move.
20:08I was been praying on a chair already.
20:09Shush.
20:10You want to sit down?
20:11Come.
20:11Come.
20:12Easy, easy.
20:12How's your breathing?
20:13Okay?
20:14You okay?
20:15Huh?
20:15Why didn't you sit him down?
20:16Well, now you want to be involved.
20:17What the fuck is that supposed to be?
20:18I'm doing something inside.
20:19It's for yourself.
20:19Don't come at me.
20:20You always fucking want to be the hero and you're never around.
20:22All right.
20:22All right.
20:23All right.
20:23Come on, tell me.
20:24Huh?
20:25Baba?
20:25Do you care?
20:26Is anyone getting any water?
20:27Yeah.
20:28I'm going to do it.
20:28Do you want to get a blanket or something?
20:32What?
20:33Are you good, bro?
20:34Bro?
20:34Are you good?
20:36Are you dumb?
20:37He's a fucking diabetic and you're giving him boxes of sweets.
20:40Shabbat, beta.
20:41All right.
20:42Shaz, just fuck off again, yeah?
20:43I've got to jump around.
20:43He's better when I'm not around.
20:44That's what you're saying.
20:45No, no.
20:45He's not my dad.
20:45He's your dad.
20:46Shazhu.
20:47Huh?
20:47Shazhu.
20:48You know what?
20:48You think you're a fucking bad man.
20:50Oh.
20:51Fucking yeah.
20:51My people is my bad.
20:52How the fuck are you going to help your people if you're too busy sucking white people's
20:55dicks?
20:57It's okay with me.
20:57He's just crying about last night, bro.
20:59What?
20:59You came in to take care of me.
21:00You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
21:01I saw you giving out your little business cards.
21:02That's some sweaty old minicab driver.
21:04Hey, shut up.
21:04Allow it.
21:04Allow it, bro.
21:05He's been leech, man.
21:06Tell her to if he's been leeching off me my whole life.
21:08What are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
21:09Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas.
21:11He's trying to chirp his little sister.
21:13What?
21:13Only chirping.
21:14I love her.
21:15All right.
21:15What the fuck, man?
21:17Are you fucking, are you mad?
21:18Listen, don't listen to him.
21:19He's lost the fucking plot.
21:20He's been chatting to a pig's head in the freezer.
21:21What?
21:22What freezer?
21:22In the garage and he's been talking to it.
21:24You said he was talking to a pig's head?
21:25What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:27Better listener than any of you lot.
21:28That's what happens when you're related to you guys.
21:30I'm not the first family member to lose my mind.
21:31Hey, enough.
21:34Hello, Shadu.
21:37Why are you saying the culture out to me?
21:39No, no, I'm asking.
21:40Why is he saying that to me?
21:41Baba, what did I do?
21:41What did I do?
21:42I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
21:43I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
21:45Well, you lot will judge me.
21:47Why are you fucking touching me?
21:48Don't touch me.
21:49I'm trying to change the world.
21:51All right?
21:51So anyone doesn't look at you and think there's some fucking worthless thinking.
21:55Peter, Paki, look at me.
21:56Get the fuck out of your voice.
21:58I don't have a problem, am I?
21:59She blames you for what happened to your mom, bro.
22:00Shut up!
22:21I don't have a problem.
22:25I don't have a problem.
22:54I don't have a problem.
22:55If you would like anything else.
22:55Can I get some more water?
22:57Yeah, sure.
23:09Oh my god, Yasmin.
23:12What the fuck?
23:14What are you doing here?
23:16What are you doing here?
23:18Oh yeah, you come here every year or an year, don't you?
23:21I totally forgot.
23:23You forgot?
23:24Yeah, I'm just here picking up some food.
23:27Right.
23:28What a coincidence.
23:30Actually, do you mind if I...
23:35What's happening?
23:37I just told you, I'm just here picking up some food.
23:39On the other side of London, at 9.30.
23:41On Eid?
23:43Yeah.
23:44Don't eat that.
23:46Why not?
23:46You won't like it.
23:47I think I know what I like.
23:48It's chicken, not lamb.
23:51Why would you get the chicken?
23:53Trying new things.
23:54Is that okay?
23:55No.
23:55A bit weird, because the lambs are significant.
23:57Okay, so you're here because of the article.
23:58Can we stop pretending?
24:01I'm sorry, what article?
24:03Are you being serious right now?
24:06I'm sorry if I missed your...
24:07What is it?
24:07An article?
24:08That sounds fun.
24:09Tell me about it.
24:09You're doubling down on this.
24:11Great.
24:12Dude, you know how this is like.
24:13I've got busy.
24:14You're busy.
24:15Well, I'm sure you're not fixated on everything that I'm doing, right?
24:17This is a strong take.
24:18I've got to hand it to you.
24:19I don't know what you mean.
24:20It sounds like you think I'm like killing myself to be something that I'm not.
24:24And you memorized it.
24:25That's sad.
24:27Who's that?
24:27Oh, are you sad?
24:28I'm not sad.
24:29I've been having a great time.
24:29I've been swapping out political art for vanilla distraction.
24:33Can you stop quoting my article, please?
24:35And it's not even about you, actually.
24:37Oh, it's not about me.
24:38Full disclosure, Shar Latif and I know one another and have spent time together socially?
24:43Is that how you're going to describe our relationship?
24:46That's how you describe the relationship, right?
24:47And you calm down.
24:48These people are not your audience.
24:49You're ruining their dinner.
24:51And mine.
24:51This is revenge porn, man.
24:52This is revenge porn dressed up as an identity politics and pop culture thing piece.
24:56Is it revenge porn if you're fucking yourself over?
24:59Yeah.
24:59Actually, it is.
25:00That's a sub-genre of revenge porn.
25:02Yeah, it is.
25:02It doesn't matter what kind of porn it is.
25:04Delete that now.
25:06Delete that or I'll break your fucking nose with it.
25:08Yeah, it's good.
25:08And the deleted pics folder.
25:10What do you think?
25:10I'm fucking thick.
25:11Isn't that what you want?
25:13And that's not a private language here, you idiot.
25:16Dude, can you just delete it?
25:17I wanted a selfie.
25:18You can talk to me.
25:19I'm very approachable.
25:20Yeah, thank you.
25:21Dude, enjoy your milkshake.
25:23What are you doing?
25:24Are you kidding me?
25:25Enjoy your little fan one.
25:25Come on, man.
25:26You're being paid.
25:27Is she paid?
25:28Yes, I paid.
25:30Okay, look.
25:30Time out, please.
25:31I just want to talk.
25:32Excuse me.
25:32After all this time.
25:33Excuse me.
25:34Can we just have a chat?
25:35It's not right, man.
25:37It's not right.
25:38No.
25:39I'm here.
25:39I don't want to take that anymore.
25:42What the fuck?
25:43Did you say that?
25:44Is there a back door?
25:47Where's the back door?
25:47I think they're here for me, right?
25:49Anyone?
25:50Fine, thanks.
25:51I'll find it myself.
25:52Wait.
25:53Where are you going?
25:55Sorry.
25:56No.
25:58Is there an exit?
25:59Hey, hey, hey, hey.
26:00Go away.
26:01Go away.
26:01You're not allowed.
26:02You're not allowed.
26:03You're not allowed to play.
26:06Sorry.
26:06What are you doing?
26:07Do you not mind?
26:08No, the captain.
26:10I'm not allowed to be here.
26:12I'm not trying to be there.
26:14I'm on my way out.
26:16I'm on my way out.
26:18You should go down.
26:21I didn't...
26:22I didn't...
26:22Charges, stop.
26:24Okay.
26:24Okay, sorry.
26:26I wouldn't have done that all wrong.
26:27I just wanted to see you.
26:28The last bit wasn't my fault.
26:31Come on there.
26:31That was crazy.
26:33You're crazy.
26:34Me?
26:35Come on, you knocked three people out just by staring at me.
26:38If you ever need a job, I could do with security.
26:42If you think that was fine, you have some serious issues.
26:46Better than you know.
26:46Book club for wine.
26:47What kind of ETH is that, huh?
26:48How about your ETH?
26:49Crossing London to stalk your ex.
26:50You need help.
26:52No, I do.
26:53And you did help me.
26:54And I'm grateful because it shows that you care.
26:56I do care, actually.
26:57Rose for a beautiful lady.
27:00You know what?
27:00Yeah.
27:01Yeah, I'll buy a rose.
27:03I should be thanking you, right?
27:05No, please.
27:06What?
27:07How much are rose?
27:08Five for you.
27:09Okay, that's a bit steep.
27:10I'll do 250 for her.
27:10You're embarrassing yourself.
27:11That's not the first time I would have done that for you though, is it?
27:16I don't need a rose from you.
27:17You don't need anything from anyone.
27:18No, just not from you.
27:19Actually, my life's pretty great.
27:21Okay, if it's great, lend me five pounds.
27:22I'll buy you a rose and I can stop from scratch.
27:25Five pounds of pencil.
27:28Hmm?
27:29You know, if you knew me at all, you'd know I hate roses.
27:33I remember that.
27:34I just...
27:34You've got to love the gesture, huh?
27:37You love the gesture.
27:37Guys, guys, why don't you come in for the best curry on Brick Lane?
27:4020% off for the lovely couple, eh?
27:42We're not a couple.
27:43But we used to be.
27:43You met my family.
27:45Yeah, I did, actually.
27:46And you know what?
27:48He made me wear a jacket over my sleeveless dress the first time when I met his dad.
27:51Well, not in a funder way.
27:52Just my dad's a bit of a, like, little pervy uncle, mate.
27:55Listen.
27:55She was making out like I would have locked her in a cupboard if we carried on dating.
27:58Yeah?
27:59She put in one of her cultural and family issues on me just because I'm brown.
28:02That's racist, isn't it?
28:02Isn't it more racist to be killing yourself to play a white neo-colonial MI6 agent?
28:06But if I played him, he wouldn't be white, would he?
28:08Yeah, but you would be.
28:09Guys, I've got an idea.
28:10Why don't you go to my cousin's restaurant across the road?
28:12I think that's better for you.
28:13Don't you want to hear about how he brought a date to my friends and family screening?
28:16A date?
28:18That was not a date.
28:19She was a world colleague that I brought.
28:21She was shit in your mango tree flop.
28:23Guessing it wasn't enough to snog her on screen.
28:25Good for the career to be spotted out and about with her.
28:27God forbid anything come for that.
28:29Okay.
28:29Hadn't we broken up by then?
28:30Sure.
28:31That night was about me.
28:32Okay?
28:33And also, taking a break isn't the same as breaking up.
28:35Okay.
28:36Then how exactly would you define how we-
28:38Fucking cunt.
28:38Fuck.
28:39What?
28:40I left my bag at the restaurant.
28:42Okay, do you-
28:42You have to go back there now?
28:44I have my passport in it and I'm leaving tomorrow.
28:46What are you doing?
28:46Argentina.
28:47What?
28:48Why are you going to Argentina?
28:49Wait.
28:51Someone's taken it.
28:53My airports are moving.
28:54Fuck.
28:54Oh shit.
28:55You're not going to catch that.
28:56Fuck.
28:56You need a cab, man.
28:57Wait!
28:59Taxi!
29:00I need to get it back.
29:02That's gone.
29:03Listen, can you just-
29:04Just let me help.
29:05Just trust me for once.
29:08I don't know.
29:09Come on.
29:10Come on.
29:12Come on.
29:12Come on.
29:13Come on.
29:13Come on.
29:13Come on.
29:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:14Seriously?
29:15Hey, mate.
29:16Listen.
29:16Can you give us a lift?
29:18Yeah.
29:18Okay.
29:18Yeah?
29:19How fast is this guy?
29:20Not that fast.
29:22Faster than walking though, isn't it?
29:23Well, yeah.
29:23It's a bike.
29:26If you annoy me, I will ditch you.
29:28Understood?
29:28You always say that, but you're still here.
29:29Yeah?
29:30Well, I'm leaving the country tomorrow, aren't I?
29:32Hey.
29:32This is an emergency.
29:33Can you follow this doc?
29:35Yeah?
29:36All right, auntie.
29:37I've got you.
29:37Auntie?
29:38You're definitely going to get it too.
29:39All right, listen.
29:40It's going to be fine.
29:41What's the name, Argentina?
29:43Funding came through for my doc.
29:44The shipwreck one?
29:45Mm-hmm.
29:46Cool.
29:47Come on.
29:49Proud of you, man.
29:51I don't mean that I'm patronizing.
29:52Well, it was a little bit patronizing.
29:54No, seriously.
29:54I wish there were more documentaries about shipwrecks.
30:07Your dad is more, um, her than Fondo.
30:12I appreciate you saying that.
30:14He would have killed to have me in your family.
30:17I would have liked to kill him.
30:18I'd have to keep pulling him to one side like that.
30:20What the fuck are you doing?
30:21Chill out, mate.
30:25How is he?
30:27He's not good.
30:28Nah.
30:29He's not, um...
30:32Yeah, he's not good.
30:38I think my whole family hates me.
30:41They probably do.
30:50He's not good.
30:50I can make a film.
30:53I can make a film.
30:56I can make a film.
30:57I can make a film.
30:57I can make a film.
30:58I can make a film.
30:58Come on.
30:58That's crazy.
31:00Of all the tunes.
31:01That's wild.
31:06I can make you feel better
31:09Better, turn it up for your auntie
31:11I'll get an auntie when I go raving
31:13I can make it all clearer
31:18Don't pretend so bad you're feeling
31:22Cry so hard that you can't conceal it
31:26Whatever you feel inside
31:28I can make you feel better
31:29Is it here?
31:30Somewhere around there
31:32Maybe it's in the diner over there
31:33In there?
31:34Yeah
31:37Thanks
31:38Yeah
31:3910% off your next ride
31:40Leaving tomorrow
31:41Well, when you get back then
31:42Not coming back
31:43What do you mean I'm coming back?
31:44Doesn't matter
31:45What do you mean by that?
31:47Cut, money, jolly
31:48No, man
31:50Nice one
31:53What do you mean you're not coming back?
31:56It's here
31:59Okay
31:59Okay
32:00Um, yeah
32:02I think, is that down there on the left?
32:04Yeah
32:04Hurry up, it takes weeks to get a new passport
32:06Don't worry, we're gonna get it
32:07Wait, I think it is
32:10It's this one here
32:16Hi
32:17Hi
32:18Hi
32:18Welcome to the glow up
32:2025 head
32:21Oh, I'd like to pay
32:22Yes
32:23But I don't know my wallet or phone
32:26How's this become an expensive date for me?
32:32And here are your body bags
32:36Down the corridor on the right
32:37Thank you
32:39So what are we doing for four exactly?
32:41It's a bum bag
32:42Okay
32:43What kind of bum bag?
32:44Just a bag
32:45Right
32:46Neon
32:47Pink and yellow
32:48Wait, is this the one that I got you?
32:50Yeah
32:50Oh
32:52All right
32:52Relax
32:53What?
32:53We shouldn't be too hard to find, right?
32:55It's a useful size bag
32:57Okay, okay
33:01Stop
33:06It might be a bit tricky
33:08Oh, shit
33:10I'm never gonna find my bag in here
33:12Whoa, aren't you forgetting something?
33:15Say what?
33:16Check your goodie bag, mate
33:17Can't let you on the dance floor like that
33:21Oh, with the paint
33:23All right
33:25Fuck it
33:27I'm not really
33:28I'm shit at this
33:29Sit down
33:29I'll do
33:33Whoa, whoa, whoa
33:34Be nice
33:36Be nice
33:37When am I not nice?
33:40As much as you want to humiliate me
33:44Remember whose passport
33:46Don't rush the artist
33:47Please
33:50Sorry
33:53Or look into her soul
33:59Why'd you get rid of the nose ring?
34:02Um
34:02I don't know
34:03You look so much fitter with that nose ring, man
34:06What?
34:06Fuck you
34:07What?
34:07I'm just saying
34:07It took the attention away from that
34:09Cold, dead look in your eyes
34:11Probably around the same time
34:12As you started losing half your hair
34:14You know, um
34:15Pinning hair is linked to high levels of testosterone
34:17I know you're broke
34:18So if you need some money for a hair transplant
34:20And donkey
34:21You just let me know
34:21No, I'm fine
34:22You know, I just take all my self-loathing
34:23And I rub it on my scalp every day
34:25So thanks for chopping me up
34:26Next time I see you
34:29You're going to have shaved your head
34:30And you're going to tell me it's for a role
34:32Or because I'm going to have a really secret sad illness
34:34So you're going to be so upset
34:35About all the time you spend together
34:37Now that I'm dead
34:38Yeah?
34:38Death guilty
34:39Yeah
34:40That's a straight up auntie move
34:41It is
34:42Sorry, did that trigger you?
34:44Sorry, does that turn you on?
34:45I know
34:46I know
34:46I'll see you later
35:08Turn it up
35:09Yeah
35:12Let me check it
35:14Let me check it
35:50You're having fun?
35:52Yeah, I am actually
35:52I'm having fun
35:54Let me be looking for a bag
35:55Yeah, I'm looking as well
35:56Alright
35:56I'm always looking
35:57Don't worry
36:03Actually not a bad Eid in the end
36:04Not the worst
36:05You know what I mean?
36:09What are you looking at me for?
36:10I don't have it
36:10I don't have it
36:31Could I go to the bathroom yet?
36:59You don't have the bones to be done.
37:04You don't have the bones to be done.
37:06You don't have the bones to be done.
37:38You don't have the bones to be done.
37:46You don't have the bones to be done.
38:11You don't have the bones to be done.
38:24You don't have the bones to be done.
38:27You don't have the bones to be done.
38:29You don't have the bones to be done.
38:53You don't have the bones to be done.
39:04You don't have the bones to be done.
39:13You don't have the bones to be done.
39:48You don't have the bones to be done.
40:26You don't have the bones to be done.
40:41You don't have the bones to be done.
41:09You don't have the bones to be done.
41:27You don't have the bones to be done.
41:37You don't have the bones to be done.
41:49You don't have the bones to be done.
41:56You don't have the bones to be done.
41:57You don't have the bones to be done.
42:39You don't have the bones to be done.
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