Skip to playerSkip to main content
#video #short #trending
Transcript
00:10I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:14got to stick with family.
00:14Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to do what the shit's normally
00:18created.
00:18Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and routine.
00:22I reckon it will help them visualize me as bod.
00:25Okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're insane.
00:28This could cost you the role.
00:30Now, fuck.
00:34Saju, how many of you did this?
00:36Mommy, you met Felicia.
00:37This is the team.
00:38Oh, this is your agent.
00:42Mommy, remember I said wait in a car and I'm going to get the sweets.
00:46Okay, that's good.
00:46Don't give me a ticket.
00:48Felicia.
00:48Zafika.
00:49What's going on?
00:50Same as usual, babysitting bonnets.
00:52That only auntie's waiting for you.
00:53You're a disgrace.
00:54Felicia, you're going to get him the job.
00:56Yes.
00:57If he kills me.
00:59My Shaja is just perfect for the job.
01:00I'll tell you why.
01:01Okay.
01:01When he was a little boy, he used to say,
01:03Mama, I want a license to kill.
01:05Remember, Shaja?
01:06Oh, how specific.
01:07I don't remember that.
01:09Yeah.
01:10Oh, look, he's got the military.
01:11Just be a minute, okay?
01:12Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:13Bye, I'm so sorry.
01:14You're not a black lady.
01:20Sorry.
01:21You are a black lady.
01:22I know.
01:26What the fuck is this?
01:27You tell me.
01:34Oh, you know what?
01:35I can't get into this right now.
01:36Okay, listen.
01:37None of this matters, okay?
01:39No one needs the fucking news.
01:41However, this is a big problem.
01:44The person you assaulted, you broke his arm, and now he wants an apology.
01:47Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head,
01:49but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
01:52and counting, young and brown, your core fan base.
01:55Assaulted?
01:56This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
01:59It was a kind of straight page, huh?
02:01Yeah, in hindsight.
02:02I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:04Okay, fine.
02:04Just give him his apology.
02:05Okay, good.
02:05All right.
02:06So how are you going to do?
02:07Oh, no.
02:08You have to apologize.
02:09On a video by end of day, or he's pressing charges.
02:12Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:14My mom usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:16That's on me.
02:17I can't be dealing with this.
02:18I have to be with the family.
02:20I have to make it right.
02:20This is about your career, Shah.
02:22Your credibility in your community,
02:24for the people that you see you're doing all of this for.
02:30Has he got more followers of me?
02:31Shah!
02:34Shah Latif here.
02:35Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
02:37I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
02:40You might have heard about it, or seen it.
02:42Well, I lived it.
02:43And I want you to know that in that moment,
02:45I wasn't thinking at all.
02:46I was acting out of sheer instinct.
02:50Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
02:54And I would never take it for granted.
02:56And there's nothing more painful to me
02:58than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own community.
03:01And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way.
03:04It hurts me deeply.
03:05You're good, yeah?
03:07Yeah, I'm good, yeah.
03:10So you've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:14Oxford educated.
03:15But no sense.
03:17Why did you attack that young man?
03:18Don't listen to him.
03:19Come, let's take a selfie.
03:50And I want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power
03:51and to compete with you.
03:52My headshot.
03:53Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
03:56Don't talk, Felty.
03:59Alberta?
04:01She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:03You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:05We just...
04:06Come on.
04:07You worried about what Noughty Naila thinks?
04:09Nangy Naila.
04:10Nangy Naila.
04:11Oh, my God.
04:13Nangy Naila.
04:14She always shows skin because she's got no style.
04:17Look, where is she?
04:17She's probably too busy checking herself out in the mirror
04:19to come host her own party.
04:34Samina.
04:35You too, Barek.
04:36I'm so happy you could come.
04:40We've decided to co-host this year.
04:42This is why you've done Kamal, Tahira.
04:44But you know Naila,
04:46how do you do it?
04:46She doesn't have to do it.
04:48She doesn't have to do it.
04:50I'm going to do it in a pint house.
04:53The Quran says charity is a blessing.
04:56Please, eat it in the garden.
04:57Eid Mubarak.
04:59Eid Mubarak.
05:01What the fuck?
05:02Don't leave my side.
05:03Okay.
05:04Don't leave my side.
05:05Eid Mubarak.
05:07Eid Mubarak.
05:07He's coming.
05:08Hello, ladies.
05:10Eid Mubarak.
05:11Eid Mubarak.
05:13And how does that?
05:13Ahh.
05:14You think...
05:15In Saint, seed.
05:17Now he has passed, you're the eldest.
05:19No, thank you.
05:20I'm fine standing.
05:22Baba.
05:22Go to your favour.
05:23Don't tell mom, yeah?
05:24Is that how you're going to kill us, Bond?
05:26By raising the blood sugar?
05:29Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
05:30Married a finger.
05:34Maybe, maybe.
05:35Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
05:36Something with my food in it.
05:38No, no. You would do a Goro Vidra.
05:47Shah, good first try, good first try.
05:57But I'm gonna need you to do another apology video.
06:00First, you forgot to say the words I'm sorry,
06:02which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:04He's buff, no?
06:05Keith says he's gone mental.
06:07Yeah, it's fucking hot.
06:08Sorry, can you mum focus, please?
06:10This is the latest.
06:12Well, this guy likes you.
06:15Hmm.
06:17Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop,
06:20you said community like ten times.
06:22It feels like you're begging it.
06:24Maybe, down the brow.
06:26I don't get it what is a problem.
06:27What's up, man?
06:29I'm 22, mate.
06:30What were you trying to get wifed up?
06:32Get it to me sooner rather than later.
06:34This is not going away.
06:36Hi, everyone.
06:37Shah Latif here.
06:38Now, last night at the King's Museum,
06:40a brother and I came into conflict.
06:43Now, I should not have reacted the way that I did.
06:46And the brother in question perhaps should not have run at me with a metal object the way that he
06:51did.
06:52Nuba is a community-led.
06:55It's not fucking community-led.
06:56The fact is, we're all in this together.
06:58And in the future, I promise to use my platform not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:05Nuba is full.
07:07You want some chai or something?
07:10No.
07:11Nuba.
07:11Bro, we good?
07:12I'm good, are you good?
07:13Yeah, I'm good, bro.
07:14We good.
07:15I'm good, are you good?
07:16Yeah, I'm good.
07:17I'm good then.
07:18Nuba, not Nuba.
07:19What are you doing?
07:19I'm trying to focus, man.
07:20You are distracting me.
07:22Alright.
07:23Yes.
07:23Yo, they've got them little laddus over there with the pink and green balls on it.
07:26You want them?
07:26Big man, please.
07:27I don't want laddus right now, okay?
07:29I just want to concentrate.
07:30Aren't you supposed to be holding it on his hand?
07:33Oh, yeah.
07:34Shit.
07:34In a bit, yeah?
07:35Don't bring me no laddus.
07:36We'll go for that.
07:39Move the baby.
07:40Move the baby.
07:44It's only gone.
07:45It's only gone.
07:45Where have you been?
07:47I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
07:49Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
07:51So if I just die standing here alone...
07:54Please, please don't do this now.
07:55You left me.
07:56I'm sorry.
07:57I'll make it up.
07:57My name.
07:59My name is Salim.
08:05Salim!
08:06My child!
08:10Salim!
08:15Salim!
08:32Salim!
08:33Salim!
08:35Salim!
08:36Salim!
08:37Salim!
08:38Salim!
08:38Tse way up...大概
08:40.mente.
08:41A dancing monkey, doing his mother's dirty bidding, making Russian prostitutes pregnant.
08:45Look.
08:46No, he's not, Mommy.
08:47That was a joke that I just made.
08:50Oh, look at that fresh spray.
08:52Zulfi, weakest of us all.
08:56Don't leave.
08:57Shahjuh, she's coming.
08:57Don't leave.
08:58Shabita, can I borrow your Mommy for a minute?
09:00I need my co-host in the kitchen.
09:02Okay, we're just going to...
09:03Okay, okay.
09:04No, no, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
09:09Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay?
09:12It's the retention of the customer base after that discount period, you know?
09:15It's off the charts.
09:16People want more community-driven rides, Shahjuh.
09:18Yes, Salim.
09:19Yes.
09:20What are you saying, bro?
09:20Yes.
09:21Look at this guy.
09:22You good?
09:22Yeah.
09:23Come join us, man.
09:24Join us.
09:24I've always been doing that anyway.
09:26Yeah, I've got you some loaders, bro.
09:28Yeah, so I never got your number.
09:29How you been?
09:30I've been good, bro.
09:31Yeah?
09:31You've been breaking.
09:32Shahjuh.
09:33What do you mean by that?
09:35Glass sealants.
09:37Try it, man.
09:37Try it.
09:38And I got his arm.
09:40It's just a fracture.
09:42Hey, just to bring this back to what we talked about before you got here.
09:44Yeah.
09:45You know, our number of drivers have grown.
09:46By the day, we'll be in all key five bars by June, so.
09:49Muba!
09:50Sick idea, innit?
09:51I've been there from day one, I remember.
09:52Bro, I'm so proud of this guy.
09:54Gus Smith, so proud.
09:55And you know what's amazing?
09:55He's always been an entrepreneur.
09:57If anything, he just went from selling grams to Instagram.
10:04Just out of interest, what was the most of your credit?
10:06Is there any credit situation with the criminal record and everything?
10:08No, no problems whatsoever.
10:09No issues.
10:10And just for clarity, I didn't go inside for selling marl.
10:14It's not just five-bit of island disorder.
10:15It was.
10:16It was self-defense, to be honest with you.
10:17It was really before, in a way.
10:18He's a ride or die, and he was there for me.
10:19Any credit issues, though?
10:20No credit issues, because I'm going all in with everything that I've got, right?
10:24So if you need any credit, if you need financing, just talk to me.
10:27Sorry, I was done the impression.
10:29We were coming and seeing Drown, rather than Series A.
10:32You see this conversation here?
10:33This is, in fact, the closest he's been to the business.
10:37Right?
10:38In fact, it's too close.
10:40Okay, give me back my doodos, then.
10:44Even for me personally, the most important quality by Amoeba is, in fact, the quality of
10:50the relationships, we're not just there for them when we want, because that's bullshit.
10:55That's fake.
10:56Get the fuck off me, bro.
10:58I don't know.
11:01And anyway, I've always had a passion for customer services.
11:04It's my thing.
11:04That's one thing I picked up in Dubai.
11:06That's what we do best, hospitality.
11:07That's our culture.
11:08One might say it, like, the Muslim way of doing business.
11:11I love the idea.
11:13I'm going to present it to the guys, see what they say.
11:14Well, you're taking this, you're trying to get investment from Dubai.
11:20Yeah, okay.
11:21Yeah.
11:22You better?
11:23No, I'm just saying, you know, Dubai works for people with, you know, all like, with
11:27the, but, I mean, what the fuck's this guy going to do in Dubai, man?
11:30He ain't going to let you in, bro.
11:31You don't want to go there, man.
11:32I'm all in, yeah?
11:33Remember that.
11:37He was disrespectful.
11:38He referred to your quiff like that.
11:39There was no need.
11:40It looks good.
11:42Shah, got your second apology.
11:44Yeah, that's not going to work.
11:45First of all, what was up with that background?
11:47If you post that, you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich arsehole.
11:51Also, you forgot to say sorry again.
11:54What the?
11:55First class in the gym, Naila.
11:58I taught you from the same time.
12:00Next year, you this back at yours, no?
12:01No, absolutely, yes.
12:03Very kind of you to step in this year, Naila.
12:06Taira, don't worry about it.
12:08Everything is fine at home, right?
12:11Why?
12:12No, nothing.
12:14It's because I was watching him today and I think I worry for him, for all of you.
12:22It's so much pressure.
12:24That's very kind of you to worry.
12:25I see a bit of your sister in him.
12:35Does Shahjahan have someone you can talk to?
12:38He has me.
12:39Rukaiya had you too, but she needed more help, no?
12:43And Pichariya, she doesn't know anything.
12:46Naila, please.
12:48It's all good.
12:49My son is going to be the next James Bond.
12:51We all couldn't be more proud.
12:57It's okay to talk about these struggles now.
12:59Really?
13:00Really?
13:03It's all good.
13:05First class.
13:06First class.
13:58Shah, we need that apology.
14:01We're running out of time.
14:02I've literally written it out for you.
14:04Just find a quiet, neutral room.
14:06Record it and send it back now, before it's too fucking late.
14:09Okay?
14:14For fuck's sake.
14:32For fuck's sake.
14:33Tell me something.
14:35Yeah.
14:37A conversation.
14:39Can you fucking close the door, please?
14:42Is this like you two...
14:44I like her.
14:45Texting.
14:46Wow.
14:47So how long has this been going on?
14:48Six months.
14:49Three months?
14:50Okay, so this is nothing.
14:52Can we please not do this in front of Shahjahan?
14:53I'm sure.
14:54I'm not going to tell anyone about it.
14:55Come here.
14:55Can we not do this in front of Shahjahan?
14:56I came here for you.
14:57But I never asked you to, did I?
14:59But I asked me to.
15:00I never...
15:00Calm down.
15:01I never fucking asked you to.
15:02And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
15:05This is the whole problem.
15:05So just to clarify, you didn't come here to see Zulfield in for the thing?
15:07No.
15:08Yes.
15:09Does he know, by the way?
15:09Oh, fuck's sake.
15:11Well, yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
15:12I'm not going to say anything.
15:13I've got your back.
15:14I've got your back.
15:15Look, we don't have to tell anyone.
15:17Let's just be real about what this is, because this is, this is something, right?
15:20Me and you both know it.
15:21What does that even mean, bro?
15:24You, you live a million miles away, okay?
15:26You have a whole life.
15:28You have fucking house keys, car keys, so, so many keys, okay?
15:32I have one key.
15:33I can give you keys.
15:34I don't want your keys, okay?
15:35I want mine.
15:36Yo, can I just step in here for a minute, offer maybe a different perspective from my own
15:39more mature experience, yeah?
15:41I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
15:44All right?
15:45All right.
15:45Now, let's say, let's say you've been texting.
15:48There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand.
15:52All right?
15:53Yeah?
15:53You can relate, right?
15:54You send a message, a heartfelt one.
15:57Instead of it going green, it goes gray.
16:00What does that mean to you?
16:02It means you're blocked.
16:05Fuck off, really?
16:06Yeah.
16:07Let me just show you this.
16:08Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
16:10Can I show you this quickly?
16:10No, no, no.
16:11Oi?
16:12Don't say anything to anyone.
16:13I'm chill.
16:16Salim, yeah?
16:20He's not fucking chill.
16:27With Saigon, who will lead the prayer?
16:29Pasha?
16:31Okay.
16:32But he recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
16:35How will you?
16:36Seated?
16:37I won't be seated.
16:37Well, where's by?
16:38Think about him.
16:38Let someone else lead.
16:40Listen, you ass-wipes.
16:42I can run circles around you, idiots.
16:44I will lead.
16:54I will lead.
17:19Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar.
17:22La ilaha illa Allah.
17:30Hey, Shah Latif here.
17:32I was involved in an incident last night at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate and avoidable.
17:37And I'm deeply sorry.
17:39Hey, you fucking thing.
17:46Shah Latif here.
17:48Last night at the King's Museum, I fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object.
17:53And apparently, I'm the one who has to apologize.
17:59Hi, Shah Latif here.
18:01Literally nothing to apologize for.
18:03Trying to save my career and my life.
18:05So I'll fuck you and your little TikTok, you little...
18:36Hello?
18:40Yeah, hi, is this Sid?
18:42Uh, yeah, hi
18:43Hi, this is Shah Latif
18:45Is it?
18:47Actually
18:47Yeah, it is actually
18:48Bro, I just want to say
18:51I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday
18:56No excuses, I was banging out of order
19:01I just don't know what came over me
19:02I really hope you can find it in your heart
19:05To please forgive me
19:08Yo, I appreciate this, man
19:11Like, I really do
19:12I was going to call my lawyers
19:14But then, the fact you called, man
19:16Oh, bro, he's been eating me up the whole day
19:18Can't tell you how much this means, man
19:20Legit
19:23Well
19:24Do you mind just sending me what you just said?
19:26Like, in a recording?
19:29Sorry?
19:30I need the engagement, bro
19:32Right, I mean, I guess so
19:35Nice, man
19:36Appreciate it
19:37Alright, oh
19:37And thanks for the follow, mate
19:38Just remember
19:39Keep the bid under 90 for the algorithm
19:44How old are you?
19:45Safe
20:03What happened?
20:05What happened?
20:07What?
20:08I wasn't praying on a chair already
20:09You want to sit down?
20:10Come on
20:12How's your breathing, okay?
20:14You okay?
20:15Huh?
20:15Why didn't you sit him down?
20:16Well, now you want to be involved
20:17What the fuck's that supposed to be?
20:18I'm doing something inside
20:19Do it for yourself
20:19Don't come at me
20:20You always fucking want to be the hero
20:21And you're never around
20:22Alright, alright
20:23Come on, mate
20:24Huh?
20:25Baba?
20:25Do you care?
20:26Is anyone getting any water?
20:27Yeah
20:28I'm going to do you want to get a blanket or something?
20:32What?
20:33Are you good, bro?
20:34Bro?
20:34Are you good?
20:35Are you dumb?
20:37He's a fucking diabetic
20:38And you're giving him boxes of sweets
20:40Shabbat, bita
20:41Alright, alright
20:42Shabbat, just fuck off again, yeah?
20:43He's better when I'm not around
20:44That's what you're saying
20:44No, no, he's not my dad
20:45He's your dad
20:46Shabbat, shabbat
20:47Shabbat, shabbat
20:48You know what?
20:48You think you're a fucking bad man
20:50Oh
20:50Fucking, yeah
20:51My people is my bad
20:52How the fuck are you going to help your people
20:53If you're too busy sucking white people's dicks?
20:57It's okay with me
20:57He's just crying about last night, bro
20:59When you came in to take care of me
21:00You came for a free fucking meal, bro
21:01That's why you're giving out your little business cards
21:02That's some sweaty old mini-caps driver, okay?
21:04Hey, shut up, allow it, allow it, bro
21:05He's been leech, man
21:06He's been leeching off me my whole life
21:08Why are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
21:09Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas
21:11He's trying to chirp his little sister
21:13What?
21:13Only chirping
21:14I love her
21:15I, what the fuck, man?
21:17Are you fucking, are you mad?
21:18Listen, don't listen to him
21:19He's lost the fucking plot
21:20He's been chatting to a pig's head in the freezer
21:21What?
21:22What freezer?
21:22In the garage and he's been talking to it
21:23You thought he was talking to a pig's head?
21:25What if I have?
21:26What?
21:26What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:27Better listener than any of you lot
21:28Well, that's what happens when you're related to you guys
21:30I'm not the first family member to lose my mind, am I?
21:32Hey, enough!
21:34Hello, Shaju
21:37Why are you, why are you saying the culture to me?
21:39No, no, I'm asking
21:40Why is he saying that to me?
21:41Baba, what did I do?
21:41What did I do?
21:42I'm trying to fucking make a difference
21:43I'm not just sat there
21:44Fucking complaining about everything
21:45Well, you lot will judge me
21:46Huh?
21:47Why are you fucking touching me?
21:48Don't touch me
21:49Shh
21:49I'm trying to change the world
21:50All right?
21:51So anyone doesn't look at you
21:52And think there's some
21:53Fucking worthless stinking
21:54Peter, Baki
21:56Look at me
21:56Get the fuck out of your voice
21:57Bob, I don't have a problem, am I?
21:59She blames you for what happened to your mum, bro
22:00Shut up!
22:41I'll try to change the world
22:44All right?
22:52And I love my love
22:53If you're just Johann, I love you
22:54Let's go!
22:55I love your love
22:56You're so much
22:57I love your love
23:08oh my god yasmine what the fuck what are you doing here what are you doing here
23:18oh yeah you um come here every year or any year don't you i totally forgot
23:23you forgot yeah yeah i'm just here i'm just picking up some food right what a coincidence
23:30actually um do you mind if i
23:35what's happening i just told you i'm still picking up some food on the other side of
23:39london at 9 30. on eid yeah don't eat that i know you won't like it i think i know
23:48it's
23:48chicken not lamb why would you get the chicken try new things is that okay no it'd be weird
23:56because the lambs are significant okay so you're here because of the article can we stop pretending
24:01i'm sorry what article are you being serious right now i'm sorry if i missed your what is
24:07it with an article that sounds fun tell me about it you're doubling down on this right
24:12dude you know how it's like i've got busy you're busy well i'm sure you're not fixating everything
24:16you don't think that i'm doing right this is a strong take i've got to hand it to you
24:19yeah what will you be it sounds like you think i'm like killing myself to be something that
24:23i'm not and you memorized it that's sad who said oh you said i'm not sad i've been having
24:29a great time i've been swapping out uh political art for vanilla destruction can you stop which
24:33is quoting my article please and it's not even about you actually oh it's not about me full
24:38disclosure charlotte even i know one another and have spent time together socially is that
24:43you're going to describe our relationship but that's how you describe the relationship and you
24:47calm down these people are not your audience you're ruining their dinner and mine this is
24:51revenge porn man this is revenge porn dressed up as an identity politics and pop culture pink
24:56piece is it revenge porn if you're fucking yourself over yeah yeah actually it is that's a sub
25:01genre of revenge porn yeah it is it doesn't matter what kind of point delete that now delete that
25:06or i'll break your fucking nose with it yes and the deleted pics folder what do you think i'm
25:10fucking think it's not what you want and that's not a private language here you idiot
25:16dude can you still eat it so i wanted a selfie you can talk to me i'm very approachable okay
25:20yeah
25:20thank you dude enjoy your milkshake thank you yeah show's over what are you doing are you kidding me
25:25enjoy your little fan come on man that's taking the baby paid is she paid yes i paid well another
25:29dramatic one okay look look time out please i just want to talk excuse me after all this time
25:33can we just have a chat can we just have a chat it's not right man it's not right
25:38no i'm here
25:39i don't want to take that because
25:42fuck the fuck
25:43what do you see that is there a back door where's the back door i think they're here for me
25:48right
25:48anyone fine thanks i'll find it myself
25:51wait wait go
25:55sorry
25:58sorry
25:59i'll get up
25:59hey hey hey hey go go way go way go way you're not allowed don't allow the police
26:04all right
26:05sorry
26:06sorry
26:12i'm not trying to be there
26:14i'm on my way out
26:16just going to go down
26:21i didn't
26:22just stop
26:24sorry
26:25Sorry, I wouldn't have made that all wrong.
26:27I just wanted to see you.
26:28That last bit wasn't my fault.
26:31Come on, now.
26:31That was crazy.
26:33You're crazy.
26:34Me?
26:35Come on, you knocked three people out just by staring at me.
26:38If you ever need a job, I could do with security.
26:42If you think that was fine, you have some serious issues.
26:46Better than, you know, book club for wine.
26:47What kind of ETH is that, huh?
26:48How about your ETH?
26:49What, crossing London to stalk your ex?
26:50You need help.
26:52No, I do.
26:53And you did help me.
26:55And I'm grateful because it shows that you care.
26:56I do care, actually.
26:57Rose for a beautiful lady.
27:00You know what?
27:00Yeah.
27:01Yeah, I'll buy a rose.
27:03I should be thanking you, right?
27:05No, please.
27:07How much are you?
27:08Five for you.
27:09Okay, that's a bit steep.
27:10I'll do 250 for her.
27:10You're embarrassing yourself.
27:11Oh, that's not the first time I would have done that for you, though, is it?
27:16I don't need a rose from you.
27:17You don't need anything from anyone.
27:18No, just not from you.
27:19Actually, my life's pretty great.
27:21Okay, if it's great, lend me five pounds.
27:22And I'll buy you a rose and I'm going to stalk and scratch.
27:25Five pounds of prinsive.
27:28Hmm?
27:29You know, if you knew me at all, you'd know I hate roses.
27:33I remember that.
27:34I just...
27:34You've got to love the gesture, huh?
27:37You love the gesture.
27:38Hey, guys, why don't you come in for the best curry on Brick Lane?
27:4020% off for the lovely couple, eh?
27:42We're not a couple.
27:43But we used to be.
27:43You met my family.
27:45Yeah, I did, actually.
27:46And you know what?
27:48He made me wear a jacket over my sleeveless dress the first time when I met his dad.
27:51Well, not in a funder way.
27:52Just my dad's a bit of a, like, little pervy uncle, mate.
27:55Listen.
27:55She was making out like I would have locked her in a cupboard if we carried on dating.
27:58Yeah?
27:59She put all her cultural and family issues on me just because I'm brown.
28:01That's racist, isn't it?
28:02Isn't it more racist to be killing yourself to play a white, neo-colonial MI6 agent?
28:06But if I paid him, he wouldn't be white, would he?
28:08Yeah, but you would be.
28:09Guys, I've got an idea.
28:10Why don't you go to my cousin's restaurant across the road?
28:12I think that's better for you.
28:13Don't you want to hear about how he brought a date to my friends and family screening?
28:16A date?
28:18That was not a date.
28:19She was a work colleague that I brought.
28:21She was shit in your mango tree flop.
28:23Guessing it wasn't enough to snog her on screen.
28:25Good for the career to be spotted out and about with her.
28:27God forbid anything come for that.
28:29Okay.
28:29Hadn't we broken up by then?
28:30Sure.
28:31That night was about me.
28:32Okay?
28:33And also, taking a break isn't the same as breaking up.
28:35Okay.
28:36So then how exactly would you define how we...
28:38Fucking punch.
28:38Fuck.
28:39What?
28:40I left my bag at the restaurant.
28:42Okay, do you...
28:43You have to go back there now?
28:44I have my passport in it and I'm leaving tomorrow.
28:46What are you doing?
28:46Fuck, Argentina.
28:47What?
28:48Why are you going to Argentina?
28:49Wait.
28:51Someone's taken it.
28:53Fuck, my airports are moving.
28:54Fuck.
28:54Oh, shit.
28:55You're not going to catch that.
28:56Fuck, fuck.
28:56We need a cab, man.
28:57Oh, wait.
28:59Taxi!
29:00I need to get it back.
29:02That's gone.
29:03Listen, can you just...
29:04Just let me help.
29:05Just trust me for once.
29:08I don't know.
29:09Come on.
29:10Come on.
29:12Come on.
29:12Come on, come on, come on, come on.
29:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:14Seriously?
29:15Hey, mate.
29:16Listen.
29:16Can you give us a lift?
29:18Yeah.
29:18Okay.
29:18Yeah?
29:19How fast is this guy?
29:20Not that fast.
29:22Faster than walking, isn't it?
29:23Well, yeah, it's a bike.
29:26If you annoy me, I will ditch you.
29:28Oh, you always say that, but you're still here.
29:30Yeah, well, I'm leaving the country tomorrow, aren't I?
29:32Hey, this is an emergency.
29:33Can you follow this doc?
29:35Yeah.
29:36All right, auntie, I've got you.
29:37Auntie?
29:37You're definitely going to get a tip.
29:39All right, listen.
29:40It's going to be fine.
29:41What's the name, Gentino?
29:43Funding came through for my doc.
29:44The shipwreck one?
29:45Mm-hmm.
29:46Cool.
29:47Come on.
29:49Proud of you, man.
29:51I don't mean that I'm patronizing.
29:52Well, it was a little bit patronizing.
29:54No, seriously.
29:54I wish there were more documentaries about shipwrecks.
30:07Your dad is more herbal fondant.
30:12I appreciate you saying that.
30:14He would have killed to have me in your family.
30:17I would have liked to kill him.
30:18I'd have to keep pulling him to one side like that.
30:20What the fuck are you doing?
30:20Chill out, mate.
30:25How is he?
30:27He's not good.
30:28Nah, he's not, um...
30:32Yeah, he's not good.
30:38I think my whole family hates me.
30:41They probably do.
30:53Shut up.
30:54I can make you feel...
30:56I can make you feel...
30:57That is...
30:58Come on, that's crazy.
31:00Of all the tunes...
31:01That's wild.
31:06Make it turn up.
31:09Better, turn it up for your auntie.
31:11I'll get an auntie when I'm raving.
31:13I can make it all clearer.
31:19Don't pretend you're all that you're feeling.
31:22I can make you feel...
31:28I can make you feel...
31:29Is it here?
31:30Got me around there.
31:32Maybe it's in the diner over there.
31:33In there?
31:34Yeah.
31:37Thanks.
31:38Yeah.
31:39Ten percent off your next ride.
31:40Leaving tomorrow.
31:41Well, when you get back then?
31:42Not coming back.
31:43What do you mean, I'm coming back?
31:44Doesn't matter.
31:46What do you mean by that?
31:47Got money?
31:48Jolly?
31:48No, man.
31:50Nice one.
31:53What do you mean you're not coming back?
31:56It's here.
31:59Okay.
31:59Okay?
32:00Um, yeah.
32:02I think, is that down there on the left?
32:04Yeah.
32:04Hurry up.
32:04It takes weeks to get a new passport.
32:06Don't worry.
32:07We're going to get it.
32:07Wait, I think it is.
32:09It's like behind.
32:10It's this one here.
32:16Hi.
32:18Hi.
32:19Welcome to the glow up.
32:20Twenty-five hand.
32:21Oh, I'd like to pay.
32:23Please.
32:23But I don't know my wallet or phone.
32:26How's this become an expensive date for me?
32:32And here are your body bags.
32:36Down the corridor on the right.
32:37Okay.
32:38All right.
32:39Okay.
32:40So what are we doing for four exactly?
32:41Uh, it's a bum bag.
32:42Okay.
32:43What kind of bum bag?
32:44Just a bag.
32:45Right.
32:46Neon.
32:47Pink and yellow.
32:48Wait, is this the one that I got you?
32:50Yeah.
32:51Oh.
32:52All right.
32:52Relax.
32:53What?
32:53No, we shouldn't be too hard to find, right?
32:55It's convenient.
32:56It's a useful size bag.
32:57Okay.
32:57Okay.
33:06It might be a bit tricky.
33:08Oh, shit.
33:10I'm never going to find my bag in here.
33:12Whoa.
33:13Aren't you forgetting something?
33:15Say what?
33:16Take a goodie bag, mate.
33:17Can't let you on the dance floor like that.
33:21Oh, with the paint.
33:23All right.
33:24Um.
33:25Fuck it.
33:26Um, I'm not really, I'm shit at this kind of.
33:29Sit down.
33:29I'll do it.
33:34Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
33:35Be nice.
33:36Be nice.
33:37When am I not nice?
33:40As much as you want to, um, humiliate me.
33:44Remember whose passport we used to watch, right?
33:46Don't rush the artist, please.
33:50Sorry.
33:53Or look into her soul.
33:59Why'd you get rid of the nose ring?
34:02Um, I don't know.
34:03You look so much fitter with that nose ring, man.
34:06What?
34:06Fuck you.
34:07What?
34:07I'm just saying, it took the attention away from that cold, dead look in your eyes.
34:11Probably around the same time as you, um, started losing half your hair.
34:14You know, um, thinning hair is linked to high levels of testosterone, so it's because I'm madly.
34:18So if you need some money for a hair transplant in Sankey, you just let me know.
34:22No, I'm fine.
34:22You know, I just take all my self-loathing and I'm rubbing on my scalp every day.
34:25So thanks for chopping me up on self-loathing.
35:11Let me check it.
35:49You having fun?
35:52Yeah, I am, actually.
35:53I'm having fun.
35:54You've been looking for a bag.
35:55Yeah, I'm looking as well.
35:56All right.
35:57I'm always looking.
35:57Don't worry.
36:03She's not a bad Eve in the end.
36:04Not the worst.
36:05You know what I mean?
36:09What are you looking at me for?
36:09I don't have it.
36:31I'm going to go to the bathroom, yeah?
36:59You don't have the bones to eat them.
37:02Are you fucking mad?
37:05I'm not the first time I remember to lose my mind.
37:10I'm not the first time I remember to lose my mind.
37:13I'm not the first time I remember to lose my mind.
38:06I'm not the first time I remember to lose my mind.
38:12Do I find it?
38:23And I just want to say what you're doing, you're halfway across the world on your own.
38:29It's amazing.
38:30You're fearless.
38:31I've always admired that about you.
38:33Thanks.
38:39So, where are you going to live?
38:41A flat or something?
38:43Yeah, I found a place near the offices.
38:45Okay, great.
38:45Yeah.
38:48Do you like a good neighborhood?
38:49I'm just saying a woman out there on her own.
38:52I can take care of myself.
38:53I know, I know.
38:54I know that your Spanish is kind of shit, so you're going to need someone to-
38:57What are you doing?
38:58What am I doing?
38:59I'm looking for your passports and I'm having a little bit of a race.
39:03What?
39:05Found the bag, didn't you?
39:08No.
39:11What?
39:11Yeah, you did, you psycho.
39:14What are you talking about?
39:15You just said passports with a fucking S. Where are they?
39:18Where are they?
39:19Fine, fine, fine.
39:22Oliver Winthrop?
39:24Fucking Winthrop, man.
39:25And I'm the one trying to be white.
39:27Now then, leave me the bag.
39:28I'm playing in the beach.
39:28Fuck off!
39:46Hey.
39:48Hey.
39:49Hey.
39:49Hey, why did you lie to me?
39:50I didn't fucking lie to you.
39:51You didn't tell me you got a boyfriend.
39:52Why do you think I'm here?
39:54You're the one that lied about the passports.
39:56Okay.
39:57All right, then I'll be honest now.
39:58I am not here for your fucking article, okay?
40:00I'm here.
40:00I'm here for you.
40:01Look, I'm here for you.
40:03Because I miss you.
40:05I miss you.
40:06I miss us.
40:08Okay?
40:10I'll admit that.
40:12Now, can you admit, if it's really all done between us, it's a little bit weird that you
40:17didn't want to tell me about your boyfriend.
40:18Well, how long?
40:19A year?
40:20That you're moving to another country tomorrow?
40:23Yeah.
40:23I mean, there's something.
40:25I got cold feet.
40:26It's just a fucking big decision.
40:28Okay, so you got cold feet.
40:29Yeah, okay.
40:30But I didn't want to see him on my last night in London.
40:33Am I out here running around with you?
40:35Why is that?
40:36Hmm?
40:37But he's fucking great.
40:38He's really great.
40:39And he loves me.
40:40And he's reliable.
40:41And he's there for me.
40:43So, I don't know.
40:45I don't know.
40:56Do you want to know what it's like?
40:57Hmm?
41:00Doing the dirty work.
41:04Fighting everybody.
41:06Hmm.
41:06And being a nobody.
41:10I...
41:11I don't live with myself.
41:14I live with whoever they need me to be.
41:21And if I don't know who I am, it's because I feel like maybe you don't want to know.
41:28Are you acting?
41:31No.
41:32There's like lines.
41:34They are lines, but the feeling is honest.
41:39You're insane.
41:49Please don't go.
41:56Take care.
41:57Okay?
42:00I'll be there.
42:05Okay.
42:23I'll be there.
42:25I'll be there.
42:26Okay?
Comments

Recommended