Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 6 minutes ago

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:19Pimp, Pimp Cheerio, the bad guys are off to steal the queen's shoes.
00:24Love to get the old paws on some rare British loo I do.
00:27You should probably use a British moniker today, like the bad lads, yeah, the bad lads.
00:33You can drop the accents, we got a problem.
00:36Everything's not okay in the UK.
00:38The traveling showcase of the queen's crown jewels has been delayed after the flight from
00:42merry old England was unmerrily canceled.
00:45Must be that famously terrible UK weather.
00:48Bangers and mash.
00:49Bubbles and squeak.
00:50What the bobbies?
00:52But hey, guess we have a whole day off from criming.
00:55Day off?
00:56From crime?
00:56Yeah, no, that's not gonna work for me.
00:59I gotta do a heist a day or I get hot flashes.
01:01I have a doctor's note.
01:02Blimey!
01:02If I go a day without doing a crime, I'll poop, I will.
01:06Again, we really can drop the accents now.
01:08Eh, I could go a day without criming.
01:11It'd be hard, but I bet I could.
01:13You, you're the most impulsive crook I ever met.
01:16You wouldn't last an hour.
01:18Hoppycock!
01:19Which is British for try me, you scaly sock puppet?
01:22Oh, that sounds like a challenge.
01:24What if it is, huh?
01:25What are you gonna do about it?
01:26All right, let's all calm down.
01:28There's no need to get competitive about who could go the longest without doing crime.
01:31Because I'd make the win off you blokes without dripping a sweat.
01:34Them's fighting words.
01:35You gonna take that, Wolf?
01:36I mean, as our leader, I'd clearly win because I, uh, I have the most crime control.
01:43Yes, that well-known quality of a great criminal that I didn't just make up.
01:47Afraid not, govlar.
01:48I'd last the longest.
01:49Things down.
01:50Bob's your uncle.
01:52And that's it.
01:54We're doing a contest.
01:56Too right, innit?
01:57And the first rule, no more accents.
02:01Rubbish.
02:04We'll be the best.
02:04And this is it.
02:36the rules to our contest are simple who made you the getting to that as much as I'd love to
02:43destroy
02:43you all in a battle of wills and I would I can't compete because it's literally impossible for me
02:48to stop doing crime even for a single day several countries I secretly run as a cyber shadow Lord
02:53would instantly collapse yada yada so I'll be the referee now pay attention you'll have to make it
02:5912 hours aka one full-crime business day without committing any crime any crime and I'll be
03:06watching you so no funny business any questions I'm gonna need you to be a little more specific
03:13about what constitutes a crime yeah what about hijinks yeah I'll allow it but cool it on the
03:19shenanigans what about mischief that leans into a little misdemeanor a death penalty no shame if
03:27you all want to back out now no I no way I have total crime control oh we'll see about
03:32that I
03:33don't have a crime problem I can stop whenever I want I'm going to destroy you how about we make
03:40it a little more interesting we haven't doled out the new bedrooms yet and there's that nice big one
03:49I mean that room rightfully should go to me as the leader then win it fair and square wolf because
03:56the bad guy with the largest wardrobe me deserves it most again me with a room like that I'd never
04:03have to deal with the mess you slobs make ever again snake specifically big mistake fish boy I
04:09actually didn't care about the room but now that I know how much you want it I'm gonna steal it
04:13from
04:13you by winning then it's settled whoever can make it until the end of the day without committing a
04:18heist wins bragging rights and the room and the day starts wow okay let's say that was a mulligan but
04:38you only get one false start we're going for real this time so I don't know don't do crime maybe
04:45use
04:45your time productively to unpack all these boxes unpacking is kind of like cleaning yeah let's do
04:52this I can unpack more than piranha anything to get my mind off crying
05:01what the heck this is just a bunch of old bush pop sticks why would I pack this anybody else
05:07have
05:07the feeling that somebody's been going through our stuff oh yeah some sort of shadowy figure's been
05:15looming around the lair desperate to get into your moving boxes paranoid much my old salesman get up I can
05:22go deep method into character a character that isn't tempted to cry no man P make normal the most
05:28average regular unremarkable uncriminal guy ever I found my sleepy Pinty now I can snooze the day away
05:36instead of feeling the urge to scourge this is good not thinking about crime at all wait a sec like
05:43grand
05:44loop criminal these were my favorite comics as a pop I totally forgot I had this oh the swagger the
05:51class the joie the heist pretty much modeled my entire vibe after him this will be the perfect
05:57distraction why it's just me Norman McNormal top salesman in quarter one of the fiscal year which
06:05of course is different than the calendar year I'm fine not tempted to do crime at all nope not need
06:13better figure out something fast snake ha I'm unstoppable hey piranha try to beat me now
06:27hey shark shark shark check me out look at me shark actually it's Norman that's a mighty fine knotwork
06:34you got there haven't seen a sheep shank that tight since I was a shark sprout I bet you think
06:39I want
06:40you to untie me but guess what I don't that's nice I'm actually going to do my taxes now but
06:46you have fun
06:47yeah yep no one untie me you all think I want you to but I've never been better you might
06:53even hear
06:53something that sounds like you know me like begging to be untied yeah I have total crime control and
07:01everything is fine hey Norman you're not gonna untie me right sure well I promise it is weird that you
07:12keep checking so often yeah no no yeah yeah yeah good good good good good you gotta untie me right
07:23now I need to
07:25steal some dessert wolf shark please I'm dying it's literally in your best interest to untie me you made me
07:35promise not to and I Norman P. McNormal always keep my word it's all the McNormal family Chris by the
07:42way
07:48he honestly lasted longer than I expected that's one down three left in the competition for the win and
07:54the room man he's a perfectly rendered drawings of slick crimes being done on the dangerous streets of
08:01Paris are totally not tempting at all sweet succulent French crime I'm out baby and trust me it's worth it
08:15oh man I love stealing I just love not paying I love wanting a push pop and then haha I
08:24get that push
08:25pop no matter what crime you are my mistress and my muse yeah I gotta go for a walk or
08:32something I can't
08:33stay in here oh mind if old Norman comes along ah this fresh air is great totally got my mind
08:44on crime
08:49my credit card number is six nine seven zero
08:54wow the big city I sure hope no one takes advantage of my bright-eyed optimism and robs me blind
09:00on day one
09:01is it just me or there like an extra amount of crimes out here just waiting to happen just you
09:06friendo
09:07how are you doing this so well oh shark's gone deep method see I'm still in here but when I
09:14go deep method
09:15shark becomes Norman going this deep can be hard to come back from oh but he's a professional so
09:23nothing to worry about I don't even know why I said that last part out loud oh wow looks like
09:30you're
09:30having a hard time what's going on mr. crime control hey Norman keep talking to tell me about that
09:40what did you call it backstory yeah that my pleasure I'm a simple salesman with a small family
09:46little Norman junior plays little league so I call him my little slugger his birthday's coming up so
09:52we're planning to take him to the water park man do I feel rested and yet I'm ready for more
10:00snoozing
10:00where's my tea and I thought you tooted a lot when you were awake it's okay to be jealous of
10:05my sleep
10:05squeakers so you're out already huh pretty embarrassing why I oughta you're lucky I've got
10:13push-pump paralysis I may have lost I can't let that tiny twerp win
10:23hey webs I'm free to do as I please now right sorry that was just for fun you have no
10:31idea the
10:31power you feel when you blow a whistle but yes you're out of the game so whatever you got up
10:35your sleeve my eight legs are tied sweet hey piranha is that a huge monster attacking the city outside
10:49what big Greg is back in town whoops false alarm anyway your tea is ready drink up I'm sure it'll
10:58knock you right out feel a little chipper are we I feel everything like wide awake and ready to do
11:10some crime it's time to do what I do best cleaning montage on max mode wait what
11:34what the heck just happened well looks like he's crashing so he'll sleep more might be out for the
11:40day was that your intention weird but who am I to judge I'm just a tiny genius with a whistle
11:49and that's the ins and outs of working in door-to-door sales now let me tell you all about
11:55the magic of
11:55corporate bookkeeping you see it all starts with your classic spreadsheets oh that's not good
12:15my ear holes wake up you lazy bum you're lost impossible I've been sleeping all day
12:21I'm clean as a whistle in a bubble bath watch it and weave pretty shocking stuff bud you've committed
12:31sleep crimes oh your slept oh mania is contagious you've been using my toothbrush I've never touched
12:37the toothbrush in my life stop trying to change the subject I caught you I caught you red-handed
12:42wait a minute rewind that back gladly something's not right the sturdy dishes in the sink this footage is
12:53obviously fake you know I'd never do crimes before scrubbing the grubbin you tried to sabotage me because of
12:59your twisted sense of competition sorry the whistle has a mind of its own but you started this so I'll
13:11allow it playground rules so I said working hard or hardly working and he replied please stop talking to
13:22me and after that we became the fastest of friends Jiminy Christmas does Norman Junior ever love a good pinwheel
13:30the RV I want that room but I can't I can't do this anymore bonjour little wolf car the grand
13:42loop criminal you're real you're my idol
13:45we we you have taste most excellent but tell me why do we sit on the bench when we should
13:51be ransacking
13:51this silly baby town listen this is gonna sound crazy um crazy odds and hallucinating a cartoon yes no
13:59maybe but I can't do crime right now I have to prove I have crime control you know I'm sure
14:06ah yes of
14:07cause look a troll criminal definitely a thing so I can't do crime for a full business day no crime
14:14for
14:14the entire day but that is so so laboring it is almost funny let the straw heads back and laugh
14:23at your
14:23delusion no thank our son of mine is going to be so pathetic now stand up that I might better
14:31beat you
14:32with my baguette do I have to oh wow what's losing it hysterical piranha put that down wow look at
14:49the
14:50time 9 p.m. but that's the end of the crime business day you made it see look you made
15:00it
15:01it's the end of the crime business day yeah why wow you beat me fair and square
15:08ha ha crime how I miss you
15:18you understand I have to prove my crime control to my team it's the only way to win the biggest
15:24bedroom
15:24the biggest bedroom you never mentioned this was a prize the leader of any operation
15:30caribbean now deserves nothing less than the big chumper of sleep exactly I could use the extra room to plan
15:37heist and build boards on crowd we must defeat the big fish hey it is simple you must trick him
15:45into
15:45doing crime first fish are notoriously gullible they fought for anything even push pop stick puppets
15:50what we shall destroy norman transforming him from happy papi to desperate that out look
15:58the mark approaches and just yeah I don't know if I could do that to norman I mean shark oh
16:03come on you didn't come here to make laser me the sooner you defeat him the sooner we will suck
16:09the city
16:09take of it you and me your childhood it all doing crimes together be a super cool and eating very
16:17long bread well sacrableu I'm in ah don't do that it's offensive
16:25wolf oh wolf don't worry I got you a pinwheel too buddy and a good evening to you norman speaking
16:33hi uh
16:34uh norman it's uh come on and hence the delusion norman it's your boss at uh sales job place thing
16:41whatever listen up you're fired you're fired from selling your sales goodbye forever
16:49hello uh norman it's your husband kenneth sweetie I terrible news little norman jr is sick it's awful
16:57it's his uh splungle his splungle it's a totally real internal organ that everyone has and norman jr's
17:04is perforated no we need money for the transplant immediately if we only had say the jewelry stores
17:13worth of money that would pay for a new splungle for our boy I gotta go he's running in pain
17:21a little dark no yeah I went too far at the end there
17:36I must do it for little norman jr
17:44webs you're gonna want to see this
17:47I'm already watching you're getting awfully close to entrapment wolf
17:51we're walking that line like a champion line walker proceed
17:58oh hurry norman think of norman jr you're running out of time
18:02you're right wolf I I need a fresh splungle for my boy
18:06I don't have time to pull a heist I need a splungle right now
18:13au revoir
18:16loop come back rendezvous uh begin
18:19oh man I needed that feeling looks good on me right webs
18:25that's a really obvious crime buddy you're out what but you said I already won did she though
18:34you made it it's the end of the crime business day you won
18:41I faked it all you idiot and you fell for it you lose you lose
18:55webs you see this he's finally snapped technically you're both out of the competition
19:00now so I have no jurisdiction but personally I'm team fish on this one
19:16you've crossed over there is no star
19:19holy norman oh render the splungle into me
19:34oh careful jaywalking is a crime
19:37there's not even any cars and I look both ways
19:42oh
19:43come on come on come on come on come on change change change please change
19:53oh
19:55wolf is out
20:03he's gonna kill me
20:17unbelievable looks like our contest has now transformed into some sort of
20:21gladiatorial death match exciting guys you gotta help me norman is out of control
20:28uh
20:29do something
20:36the only way to defuse an actor
20:39i really lost it there i'm so sorry wolf i went too deep
20:46i think i did too and hey it's clear you're the winner just please don't ever eat me again
20:52actually trying to harvest a roommate's organ even a made-up one like a
20:56Splongle is definitely a crime and it's still just 645 huh wait so after all that there's no winner
21:03I guess none of you have crime control I can't believe you use arts and crafts against me
21:09That's insidious yeah, and I do it again. I can't believe the crime
21:13I had no control over was jaywalking that's so embarrassing so unlike my idol like grand loop and now I
21:20don't get the big
21:20Bedroom you really blew this for me shark. Well, I wouldn't taste you if you hadn't read my boy. Your
21:26son. Is it real?
21:31Come on let's simmer down. I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement
21:37You know I'd rather let webs have that big room than any one of you deluded weirdos fine
21:45I mean if you all insist I guess I wouldn't mind taking the big room
21:55Oh
21:56There's no way webs like plan this whole thing right what oh impossible
22:07The traveling showcase of the Queen's crown jewels has been delayed after the flight from merry old England was unmarriedly
22:14canceled
22:21I
22:22I found my sleepy
22:29Sweet succulent French
22:31My own salesman get up. I can go deep method into care
22:38I
22:40What are you doing?
22:40I am sorry
22:41I am sorry
22:48I am sorry
22:53I am sorry
22:57I am sorry
22:57I am sorry
23:24We'll see you next time.
Comments