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00:00How do I accept when friendships change or people stop valuing you?
00:04Because as we are young, we have a lot of friends, but as we grow older, they become distant.
00:09When you say how to know the other's real face because he's wearing a mask,
00:14do we know our own real face?
00:16Do we know when we are fooling ourselves?
00:19Life has given you some kind of a shock.
00:22Use these as opportunities to...
00:26How are we supposed to know and gorge people's intentions towards us?
00:31Because people fake their emotions for a long period of time as well.
00:35The greatest deception is not the one others inflict on us.
00:40The greatest deception is...
00:44Similarly, when it comes to the other person,
00:47all we look at is their face, their words,
00:51what they profess, what they promise.
00:54Yes, that's what we limit ourselves to.
00:58We don't inquire, we don't test.
01:01Here, inquiry is not merely a credit requirement.
01:06Labs do not exist just in the academic building or in the departmental blocks.
01:12The first lab must be in.
01:18The last lab must be in.
01:19The second lab must be in.
01:26The next lab must be in.
01:28The last lab must be in, in the departmental blocks,
01:36where people can find the record requirements.
01:37The last lab must be in.
01:38The last lab must be in this lab.
01:59Namaste Achari ji, I'm Ashi Jain.
02:02Sir, how do I accept when friendships change or people stop valuing you?
02:06Sir, how do we accept when friendships change?
02:10Yes sir, because as we are young, we have a lot of friends, but as we grow older, they
02:15become distant and like we miss them, we don't even check up on them.
02:20So there are many people who face these issues, even I have.
02:23So sir, how do I accept it and how do I overcome it?
02:30Tell me one place that you really desperately love to go to.
02:36Besides home?
02:37Yeah, let's say home.
02:41And you're travelling to your home from a place hundred kilometres away.
02:47Right?
02:48You're travelling to your home and you really love home.
02:53Home.
02:54And this is the road that's taking to your home.
02:59How many cuts and crosses do you meet?
03:02A lot.
03:03Lot.
03:05How many vehicles do you find coming to you, staying along for a while in your sight and
03:15then taking some cut, some other road, some deviation, some other direction?
03:20How many of them?
03:21A lot sir.
03:23Do you miss them?
03:24No sir, because I'm not attached to them.
03:26That's the answer.
03:29One must be firmly on the road to home.
03:36Yes sir.
03:37And then one doesn't miss all these people and vehicles who coincidentally come along for a while and then depart.
03:45What?
03:45Sir, sometimes we don't miss the people but we miss the memories, sir.
03:50If you will be so much in memory of the car that was in front of you, that memory will
03:59cause a collision.
04:01Yes sir.
04:01Think of it.
04:02Yes sir.
04:03There was a car in front of you, there was a car by your side, there was one trailing you
04:07and now they are no more and you are still thinking of them.
04:12But the condition has changed.
04:15The road has changed.
04:17Right?
04:18Yes sir.
04:19There are new cars and in your heart sits your?
04:24Goal.
04:25Home.
04:26Yes sir.
04:27The home is what you are in love with.
04:31Right?
04:33And if there is someone really being with, he will travel all the way with you right till your home.
04:42How can you miss him?
04:43And if there are people who desert you, who leave you while you are travelling to home, are they really
04:53worth being with?
04:54I guess not sir.
04:56I guess not sir.
04:57Thank you sir.
05:04So my question is, how are we supposed to know and gauge people's intentions towards us?
05:10Because people fake their emotions for a long period of time as well.
05:14How do we know and gauge people's real intentions and emotions towards us? Because people fake.
05:23People fake their emotions, their faces, their personality, their intentions.
05:28That's the question right?
05:30Yes.
05:30Yes.
05:33Who is the first person that you know?
05:39Who is the one person closest to you?
05:43Who is the one person most intimate to you?
05:49Ourselves.
05:50Right?
05:50You are the one closest to you.
05:53If you do not know this person, can you know any other person?
05:59This person is your workshop, your laboratory, your most intimate testing ground, your home ground.
06:11Right?
06:12When we say we cannot judge others' intentions, the question is, do we know our own intentions?
06:24We do not know whether the other is fooling us.
06:28Do we know when we are fooling ourselves?
06:32The greatest deception is not the one others inflict on us.
06:39The greatest deception is self-deception.
06:42Don't we fool ourselves, cheat ourselves all the time?
06:47When you say how to know the other's real face because he is wearing a mask.
06:54Has it happened?
06:55People wear masks.
06:57Hmm?
06:58When you say I want to know that fellow's real face.
07:01Do we know our own real face?
07:05You are sure you know your own real face?
07:08Do you?
07:10When you say, I cannot see where he is coming from.
07:17This fellow is there and I cannot see his centre, the point he is coming from.
07:22Do we really know where we are coming from?
07:27If, for example, you feel angry.
07:31Do you really always know where anger is coming from?
07:35Have you gone to the depth of it?
07:39Don't you experience moods and fluctuations?
07:43And somebody asks you, why do you look upset today?
07:47Why are you so down?
07:48And you say, I don't know, just moods.
07:50Do you really know where your moods are coming from?
07:54If you do not know where your thoughts, feelings, emotions, personality, faces are coming from,
08:00how will you know where the other is coming from?
08:02Because you are the one closest to yourself.
08:07You are the laboratory in your own backyard.
08:12You are your own testing ground.
08:17You have to begin with yourself.
08:22But we are extremely sensitive to being fooled by others.
08:27No, no, no, I don't want to be shown up as an idiot.
08:32I want to be smart, clever.
08:37And we just don't like it.
08:39When somebody manages to get past us.
08:42When somebody proves smarter.
08:45We don't like it, right?
08:48But we are surprisingly okay with being beaten daily by ourselves.
08:58Does that not happen?
09:01You know of what is right, yet you end up doing something else.
09:05Does that happen?
09:07So who has defeated you?
09:08An external opponent, your own self.
09:12But you are okay with it.
09:14This is not something that you would grieve.
09:18Somebody else, an outsider comes and defeats you.
09:22Puts you down and pins you there.
09:25And you will take it to your heart.
09:28Right?
09:28You might even shed a few tears.
09:31You say, damn it!
09:32That fellow prevailed over me.
09:36But when you keep sleeping, when you know you should be on your feet and running and doing something and
09:43achieving something or whatever.
09:45And you still find yourself snoring in bed.
09:48Do you feel an equal amount of pain or guilt?
09:52No.
09:53Rarely.
09:54Even if some guilt is experienced, we forgive ourselves.
09:57We rationalize it.
09:59We invent excuses.
10:00Don't we?
10:01So when we defeat ourselves, when we cheat ourselves, we justify.
10:08We come up with innovative excuses.
10:12But we just don't like it.
10:14When the same treatment is meted out to us by others.
10:21What we don't realize is that our worst enemy is not outside of us.
10:30And also our best friend.
10:34Neither of them are located outside of us.
10:41Outside what you see are very secondary kind of friends and foes.
10:48The one who is her own enemy will find she is surrounded by millions of enemies outside.
11:01Where Anne, the one who is her own friend, will find that even so-called adverse situations outside are being
11:13utilized constructively by her.
11:19So if somebody has managed to play a fraud on you, defeat you or cheat you, the finger must point
11:34inward.
11:37Don't lay the blame there.
11:43Watch what is here.
11:45There is somebody here so content with getting fooled.
11:55That deception has become a way of life.
12:07Even in intimate matters of life, if somebody asks you, for example, why are you here in this institution of
12:16higher learning?
12:17Do we really know the exact reason?
12:20Rarely.
12:22And even if we do know it, to some extent, are we able to confess?
12:28Do we do that?
12:32You go to someone and say, I love you.
12:35Is that really the matter?
12:37Is that really the matter?
12:39Do we know where that thing called love is coming from?
12:43Do we know our own center?
12:45We don't know our own center.
12:47But then, how is it surprising that somebody comes, professes love to us, and then in a few days or
12:57weeks or months turns his back?
13:01How is it any surprising?
13:03Just as we do not know where our own center is, we also fail to see where the center of
13:10that person is.
13:19The one who fools us is first of all in the mirror.
13:33The person who declares, I am not going to fool myself anymore.
13:41I will be very ruthless with the facts of my being.
13:47Such a person will be very, very difficult to cheat.
13:59Or conquer.
14:01Or condition.
14:06You see this?
14:08Now onwards, when it happens,
14:13that you find that your expectations have been belied.
14:21Your trust has been broken.
14:24Life has given you some kind of a shock.
14:29Use these things.
14:31Use these as opportunities to turn inward.
14:37If somebody has broken your expectations,
14:43the fault, tell yourself lies not with that person or that event or whatever.
14:51The fault lies with the expectation itself.
14:57This is black tea.
15:00This is black tea.
15:06And how do I know it's black tea?
15:08Because it's contained in a black mug.
15:12That kind of logic I carry.
15:15Right?
15:16And I sip.
15:21What kind of Kali Yuga is this?
15:24Coffee.
15:27It came displaying its colour and intent to me via its container.
15:37I trusted it to be tea but it turned out to be coffee.
15:44Now, should I blame this and take this and throw this away and play all kinds of tantrums and break
15:50the mud and shout aloud?
15:53We all love doing that.
15:55Or should I ask myself, was I being discreet, fair, in expecting this to be coffee?
16:09Or is it so that I was so much in craving for coffee that I wanted it to be coffee?
16:24Did it say that it is coffee or was it me who superimposed his desires on this thing because I
16:33wanted this to be coffee?
16:36And when it turns out to be tea, I say, you know, look at this world full of thugs and
16:42liars.
16:45They say one thing and do another.
16:48Didn't this fellow show this mug to me?
16:56You were seeing the outside.
16:58You never tested the inside.
17:03Because when it comes to our own life, we again, we have practiced it so much just to stay on
17:10the outside and never venture inside.
17:15So just as we stay on the outside of our own being and don't venture inside.
17:20Similarly, when it comes to the other person, all we look at is their face, their words, what they profess,
17:30what they promise.
17:31That's what we limit ourselves to.
17:35We don't inquire deeper.
17:38We don't test.
17:40We don't taste.
17:43What do we do?
17:45We posit.
17:46We imagine.
17:47We assume.
17:48We superimpose our desires on that person.
17:53Has it happened with you?
17:55When you want something, you start seeing it everywhere.
18:02And when that thing that you are assuming to be the thing that you want does not turn out to
18:09be the thing that you want, you put blame on that thing.
18:15Is that thing to be blamed really?
18:20So know where your desire is coming from.
18:25And make it a practice to be honest.
18:30You are here.
18:32Labs do not exist just in the academic building or in the departmental blocks.
18:40The first lab must be insight.
18:44Inquiry is not merely a credit requirement at an IIT.
18:50Inquiry is a way of life.
18:54I want to know.
18:56I want to understand.
18:59I am not an automaton and I am also not an animal.
19:02To be human, I must be conscious.
19:05And to be conscious is to know with discretion.
19:10Is to ask repeatedly.
19:12Is to test and experiment.
19:14Not to fool oneself with amusing belief.
19:22Yeah.
19:24Thank you sir.
19:30Hi, my name is Aditya. I am from Kolkata.
19:34I have been listening to Achareji from the first half of 2023.
19:40So I work in sports.
19:42I have been in the sports industry and currently I am pursuing actually a venture of my own in the
19:48racket industry.
19:49Which is kind of inspired by Achareji.
19:51But I also play tennis.
19:53I started listening to him.
19:54I first joined in his session in March 2023.
19:58And at that time there was only one session or two sessions per month.
20:03But now if you join the Gita community, you can ask Achareji questions every other day.
20:10Which is a really helpful feature in the app.
20:13The foundation every day is improving the app and there are features like exams.
20:18Where you can actually see yourself while giving the exam.
20:22The questions are not something which you can prepare for.
20:26But when you give the exam, you will understand and it will help you in your journey of your self
20:33knowledge.
20:34So on YouTube, you will get like condensed form of the sessions.
20:40But if you join the session, it's like a very dialectical session where you can ask questions.
20:46And Achareji explains every shloka or every bhajan in detail.
20:53So that is very different from YouTube.
20:56Like YouTube will get you started.
20:58But if you want to continue your journey with Achareji and with self knowledge, you must join the Gita sessions.
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