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00:02What a break of the heart!
00:04Thank you for lettin' up be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:08These simple lines be good for your health
00:11If you keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
00:13Live love life like you just don't care
00:15Five thousand leaders never scared
00:18Radio noise is the moment they fear
00:20Get up, you still appear for my fear
00:22Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:37Take some government advice, sit the family down, and get ready for your daily hour of
00:41screen time.
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for The Last Leg.
00:47Tonight on the show, we focus on Iran, give social media the side eye, and zoom in on
00:53some disability sport.
00:55Plus, we'll be joined by singer Charlotte Church and comedian Nabil Abdul-Rashid on the show
01:00that always takes a stern look at the news.
01:11G'day.
01:14Hello.
01:18G'day, I'm Adam Hills.
01:20Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that heard the owner of OnlyFans had died and thought,
01:24I wonder if you have to pay extra for an open coffin.
01:27With me, as always, at the Pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe, and the man who thought
01:30crude oil was the opposite of extra virgin, Alex Brooker.
01:40Loads to get through tonight, but something happened to me during the week that I wanted
01:44to bring up, because I know it's happened to Alex as well, in a similar way.
01:47So I was walking to tennis, I was in a pair of shorts, I had my prosthesis on, I had
01:52it
01:52taped up, because, look, it comes undone when I'm playing, so I have to tape it up.
01:58I keep saying to you, mate, you've got to get a new leg.
02:01Look, I like this one.
02:04Ditto, I like mine as well.
02:06So, as I was walking, this woman walked past me, and she looked down, and she saw my prosthetic
02:10leg, and then she looked up at me as she kept walking and went, ooh, ouch.
02:19And she went so quickly that I didn't have time to go, it's, what a weird thing to say.
02:25Imagine if she seen Brooker, ouch, ouch, ouch.
02:30She's there like E.T. with a little light-up thing, ouch.
02:34When you first told her, you said, oh, a woman walked past, saw you in your tennis gear.
02:38Yeah.
02:38And said, ouch, I thought she was like the fashion police.
02:41And she was like, ouch, ouch.
02:44But I've, you know, I've had it before, so I was in the shorts, and I was in the supermarket,
02:51and the geezer kept looking down.
02:52You know when someone's looking at you, you go, they're going to say something in a minute?
02:55And he just went, so, what happened there?
02:59And I was like, oh, well, you know, I had to have my foot amputated when I was a baby,
03:03because I didn't have one of the bones in my lower leg, so then I had to make the decision
03:07to amputate my foot, so that's why I've got a prosthetic leg.
03:10And he just went, well, I hope it gets better.
03:20Yeah.
03:24You must have had people wish for you to get better.
03:29Yeah, no, I used to only have one leg, but it grew back.
03:33You had that recently in the gym, right?
03:34Oh, yes, I was in the gym last week, and I had my shorts on, and I was on the
03:39exercise
03:39bike, and his geezer kept looking down on my leg.
03:42And I'm used to people, like, I don't, like, people do a double take, especially in the
03:46gym.
03:46Yeah.
03:46I don't mind it.
03:47I think they, I imagine they're kind of looking, just going, bloody hell, he's done
03:49more than skip leg day.
03:50But he was, like, looking, he was looking down at my leg, and he kept looking at the
03:54lower part of it, and I was thinking, this is really weird.
03:56Then I, I got home, and I got in the shower, took the leg off, and what I'd forgotten is,
04:01that the other week, I'd let my eldest decorate the leg with, er, capybara stickers.
04:06They're called an arrow.
04:07So I had stickers all over my leg, including one that just says love.
04:12Oh.
04:13Which Josh put on there, which was lovely, actually.
04:15But yeah, it's fine.
04:16You know what, when you lifted your leg, oh, your trousers up, the only thing I thought
04:19was, ouch!
04:22It's fine, it's fine now my daughter's into capybara, so tell you what, when she was into
04:26Sabrina Carpenter and put them stickers on, I just looked like a pervert, so.
04:31Er, I'm going to say a sentence now that I've never said before on this show, and I never
04:34thought I would.
04:36In other capybara news, a rogue capybara escaped from Marwell
04:41Zoo last week, and has been spotted across Hampshire, on the banks of the River Itchen,
04:46and at a pub quiz.
04:50I don't know who that hairy guy was, but he was great on South American Geography.
04:55Nice brooker.
04:57This surprising video was taken of the rodent on the banks of a river.
05:00Watch the video, but also listen out for the name of the woman's dog.
05:08Growler?
05:09Growler?
05:10Oh, it's a hot dip.
05:11No, it's a hot dip.
05:11Hello girl, I wait.
05:13What?
05:16Growler!
05:23What in hell is that?
05:27Oh, who calls the dog growler?
05:32Is that this year's Fenton?
05:35Yeah, I'm not sure kind of naming your dog after slang terms for private parts is a...
05:40Anyway, this is my sausage dog, Schlong.
05:44Minge!
05:44Minge!
05:45Minge!
05:45Minge!
05:46Minge!
05:47Minge!
05:49Torture!
05:50Torture!
05:52Faps!
05:56Sorry, I've always wanted to shout that on TV.
05:58I can't believe I said the word...
06:00You, um...
06:00First time I said the word minge, I'd say Alec.
06:04And let's hope the last.
06:05You're sorry.
06:07Alec's actually met a capybara recently and we're not making this up either.
06:10No, I didn't.
06:10Have a look to you.
06:11I met him a bit wanted to do it.
06:14He calls himself, I'll come over and see this little weird thing with funny little paws.
06:17But, um...
06:18Yeah, these are...
06:18No, but you didn't realise these capybara snickers are like Starbucks.
06:21If you get ten, you get to get one, so...
06:25We are live on your telly right now, so feel free to ask us any questions about the news.
06:29Message us on Instagram, the hashtag's IsItOK?
06:31WhatsApp, the number is 07956175908.
06:35Or you can scan the QR code on your screen.
06:37Um, Crispin Fisher just messaged in.
06:39I mean, how's this for topical?
06:40Is it OK?
06:40Will Tiger Woods soon be looking for a new driver?
06:44Uh, let's get into the big story now.
06:46And, um...
06:47You know what?
06:48We all wondered what World War III was gonna look like.
06:51Turns out, it's a lot more ridiculous than any of us would have predicted.
06:55In the last 24 hours, Donald Trump has described the British Navy as toys,
06:59said Iran had been beat to shit,
07:02and, I'm not making this up, implied that the new Ayatollah was gay.
07:07He sounds like Jay from the Inbetweeners.
07:13But the thing is, though, generally, if, like, one of your mates came out
07:16with all of that stuff in the pub, you go,
07:18do you know what, mate, shall we get you home?
07:20Yeah.
07:21We're not sure which of Trump's statements prompted the CIA director,
07:24John Ratcliffe, to adopt this relatable pose.
07:28Oh! I thought they were just playing hide-and-seek.
07:33He's there counting.
07:3499, 100.
07:36Donald's hiding the one place you wouldn't expect, Melania's bedroom.
07:40LAUGHTER
07:42Do you think Donald Trump...
07:44You know when you hide-and-seek with a kid?
07:46Yeah.
07:46With Donald Trump, it's the same.
07:48You walk in, and you can see him poking out.
07:51LAUGHTER
07:51But you have to pretend you can't see him.
07:54LAUGHTER
07:55Trump also rambled at length about his love of Sharpie pens,
07:58for some reason,
07:59before then owning himself in this less-than-humble brag.
08:03I'm the only president that ever took a cognitive test.
08:07I took it three times.
08:09It's actually a very hard test for a lot of people.
08:11It wasn't hard for me.
08:13But it's a cognitive test.
08:15It starts off with an easy question,
08:17and by the time you get to the middle, it gets tougher.
08:19By the time you get to the end,
08:21very few people can answer those questions.
08:22They get very tough mathematical equations and things.
08:26I took it three times.
08:28I aced it all three times,
08:30in front of numerous doctors that I have no idea who they are.
08:36Why is he doing it again?
08:38If he's acing it, they're going,
08:40bloody hell, that was good.
08:41I've got to see you do it again.
08:43LAUGHTER
08:44I think he passes it, goes out,
08:46gives another press conference,
08:47and they go in there and go,
08:48do you know what?
08:48I think this fucking computer won't work.
08:51LAUGHTER
08:51If you have to take any test a multiple number of times,
08:54that's not a good thing.
08:56I don't want to get into a cab with a driver who's gone,
08:58you know what?
08:58I've taken the driving test nine times.
09:01LAUGHTER
09:03And going home with someone and they're like,
09:05do you know what?
09:05I've been tested for syphilis four times.
09:09LAUGHTER
09:12I think we're OK.
09:13Look, there has been a lot of back and forward this week.
09:15In fact, the whole thing has been very,
09:17he said, she, I said.
09:19LAUGHTER
09:21That's lovely.
09:22LAUGHTER
09:23Trump repeatedly said Iran are, quote,
09:25begging for a deal, but they say that's not true.
09:28And look, let's face it,
09:29it's probably not the first time Trump's assumed
09:31someone was begging for it when they absolutely weren't.
09:34LAUGHTER
09:35This Week in Iranian Spokes...
09:37Yeah.
09:38Yeah.
09:40APPLAUSE
09:45Yeah, repost that one, you orange furball.
09:49LAUGHTER
09:50This Week in Iranian Spokesman explained the situation
09:53in a way that made it sound less like a geopolitical confrontation
09:56and more like a high school spat.
09:59Our American counterparts have begun sending messages
10:02through others, other countries that are our friends.
10:05If there are messages through others
10:07to which we respond with our own position and demands,
10:10that is not called conversation nor negotiation or anything.
10:14This is simply sending messages through others.
10:17It's like the political equivalent of saying,
10:19if you've got something to say to me, say it to my face.
10:22LAUGHTER
10:23Today, the US bombed two nuclear-related facilities
10:25to which Iran said, but we were on a break!
10:28LAUGHTER
10:28The thing is, though, the only time you ever, like,
10:30pass messages to someone, like, through their friends,
10:33is when you're at school, when you fancy someone.
10:36Yeah.
10:36Speaking of which, Adam, can you just come over here a second?
10:40Do you mind? Sorry.
10:42Can you, um...
10:44Can you just give this to Josh for my place?
10:46LAUGHTER
10:51Not with a Capybara involved, no.
10:54LAUGHTER
11:05Don't worry, you can't catch it.
11:06I've been telling you for 14 years.
11:08LAUGHTER
11:09I've been tested four times.
11:11LAUGHTER
11:18At one point this week, Donald Trump said
11:20he was working with the Ayatollah,
11:21but that's the same guy whose father Trump killed
11:23and who may or may not be in a coma.
11:26So he's either angry or sleepy.
11:28But how do...
11:29How many talks gonna go if he's in a coma?
11:31They're gonna be operating him, like,
11:32Weekend at Bernie's.
11:34LAUGHTER
11:35Look, it's not...
11:36It's not a Zoom call moving his jaw up and down.
11:38It's not surprising Iran were a little bit confused by it all.
11:41This week, Donald Trump presented them with a 15-point plan.
11:44But check out the specifics in this vague clip.
11:4815 points.
11:50Well, they're not gonna have a nuclear weapon.
11:52That's number one.
11:53That's number one, two and three.
11:54They will never have a nuclear weapon.
11:57LAUGHTER
11:58LAUGHTER
12:01You can't...
12:01You can't just repeat the first three points over again.
12:05LAUGHTER
12:05It's not the rules of Fight Club.
12:07LAUGHTER
12:07What are rules four through 15?
12:09They...
12:09What did I just say?
12:11LAUGHTER
12:12Sorry.
12:13No, you carry on.
12:13Everyone thinks that the reason why they're not agreeing to it
12:15is because it's the nuclear weapons,
12:17and that's the sticking point.
12:18But it's not.
12:19It's because I found out that the US are asking,
12:22in those 15 points,
12:23they're asking Iran to do things that are impossible
12:25for them to do.
12:26Like, point six is,
12:28eat a doughnut without licking your lips,
12:29and they're just...
12:30LAUGHTER
12:31Point seven is,
12:32find a word that rhymes with orange.
12:33And they're like,
12:34look, we'll give you the nucleus, but...
12:36LAUGHTER
12:37So, one, two, three are...
12:39No nuclear weapons.
12:40Yep.
12:41And then, one, two, three, four is,
12:42I declare a thumb war.
12:44LAUGHTER
12:45And then, five, six, seven, eight is,
12:47who do we appreciate?
12:49LAUGHTER
12:50Look, the main thing is,
12:51Iran already agreed not to have a nuclear weapon
12:53before this war began.
12:54In fact, the entire plan that was put forward this week
12:57seems to be from May 2025.
12:59The giveaway is that it contains references
13:01to the hawk tour girl.
13:04LAUGHTER
13:04Point seven is,
13:05you have to watch adolescence.
13:07LAUGHTER
13:09No, I just think that it's...
13:13I don't...
13:14I forgot what I was going to say.
13:16LAUGHTER
13:17You know what?
13:18I was thinking about...
13:19I was thinking,
13:19is the hawk tour girl last year?
13:21LAUGHTER
13:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:23Point twelve is,
13:24you've got to listen to Lily Allen's new album.
13:27LAUGHTER
13:27What's incredible is,
13:28you aced your cognitive test four times.
13:30Yeah, yeah, I did, yeah.
13:31Yeah.
13:32And I won the fun war.
13:35LAUGHTER
13:37Earlier in the week,
13:38Donald Trump thanked Iran
13:39for giving the US, quote,
13:40a very big present
13:41worth a tremendous amount of money.
13:43And everyone was, like,
13:44wondering what this amazing gift was going to be.
13:46Turned out,
13:46it was allowing eight ships
13:48through the Strait of Hormuz.
13:50Eight.
13:51Before the war,
13:51there were 138 ships a day
13:53going through that strait.
13:54That's not much of a gift.
13:56If this was love, actually,
13:57Donald Trump just got the Joni Mitchell CD.
14:00LAUGHTER
14:01Thankfully,
14:02the British ship HMS Dragon
14:03finally arrived in Cyprus this week.
14:05Four weeks after the war began,
14:06more like dragging your heels,
14:08am I right?
14:09Oh, there we go.
14:10And just when you thought
14:11the British Navy couldn't look more embarrassing,
14:12this week they had to borrow a ship
14:14from Germany
14:15to fulfil their obligations
14:16in the Atlantic Ocean.
14:18How's that working,
14:19like, borrowing...
14:20borrowing a ship off someone
14:21to take to war?
14:22Yeah.
14:23Like, is Keir Starmer
14:24having to go around the ship
14:25with a German bloke with a diagram
14:26just marking off
14:27where the dents already are?
14:30No, there's a scratch
14:31on the starboard side there, Keir.
14:34The captain gets into the seats really far back.
14:37LAUGHTER
14:38The last thing he heard was,
14:39make sure you return it with a full tank.
14:42LAUGHTER
14:44So, look, as the ceasefire is extended
14:46and the world speculates
14:47as to how Donald Trump is behaving,
14:48we think we've found a pattern of bullshit, OK?
14:51Now, there's an acronym being used
14:54to describe Donald Trump's way of operating,
14:56and it's TARCO.
14:57Trump always chickens out.
15:00But we think something else is going on,
15:02and I think Donald Trump's hairstyle
15:03is the key to all this.
15:08Now, Donald Trump likes to charge
15:11into things head-first,
15:12but it doesn't always work out.
15:14Take Iran, for example.
15:15This is a map, a vague map,
15:17of the Strait of Hormuz, OK?
15:21Can you tell what it is yet?
15:24Um...
15:27LAUGHTER
15:30APPLAUSE
15:34Now, Donald Trump attacked these guys,
15:38who then attacked all of these guys.
15:40They then blocked all of this up,
15:41stopping the oil coming from over here.
15:44As you can see, he's made an absolute mess of it.
15:47So, what does Donald Trump do?
15:50LAUGHTER
15:56He just brushes over it
15:57with claims of a peace deal
15:58that may or may not exist.
16:00All he needs is a sympathetic media
16:01to create a smokescreen
16:02and hold it in place.
16:05Oh, that's fucking real.
16:07LAUGHTER
16:09The hair?
16:10I mean, it doesn't look unlike my hair now,
16:13does it?
16:14But this isn't the first time
16:16Donald Trump has done this.
16:17Have a look at Stormy Daniels.
16:19Trump's lawyer paid $130,000 in hush money
16:23for her to keep quiet
16:25about allegations of an affair with Trump,
16:27which he denied.
16:29LAUGHTER
16:30Oh, I've got it in my mouth!
16:33LAUGHTER
16:35How about Trump University, set up in 2004?
16:40It didn't actually confer grades or degrees
16:42and was the subject of a number of lawsuits.
16:45But, three of those lawsuits
16:47Donald Trump settled out of court
16:48for $25 million.
16:51LAUGHTER
16:53Then, there was Trump Steaks.
16:57LAUGHTER
16:58That was with my eyes!
17:01LAUGHTER
17:01Trump Casino Atlantic City.
17:04LAUGHTER
17:07And Trump Shuttle,
17:08an airline that went under, ironically,
17:11partly due to a spike in fuel prices
17:13during the Gulf War.
17:15LAUGHTER
17:17That was like being in Guantanamo Bay.
17:20LAUGHTER
17:21Donald Trump has spent his entire life
17:23running headfirst into things,
17:25making an absolute mess,
17:26and then somehow managing to cover it all up.
17:28Which means TARCO doesn't stand
17:30for Trump Always Chickens Out,
17:32it actually stands for
17:33Trump Always Combs Over.
17:36LAUGHTER
17:47And there you have it.
17:48Male pattern bullshit.
17:51LAUGHTER
17:57All right, let's welcome tonight's guest.
17:59She's a singer who hosts dreaming retreats in the woods.
18:01He's a comedian who has a purple belt in jiu-jitsu.
18:04She's a lover and he's a fighter.
18:06It's Charlotte Church and Nabeel Abdul Rashid.
18:10APPLAUSE
18:18Hello, Susan.
18:20Hello.
18:24Hello.
18:28Hello.
18:30Hello.
18:32Hello.
18:33Hello.
18:34Charlotte, what do you make of the world at the moment?
18:36Ugh.
18:37That can be an answer.
18:39LAUGHTER
18:39What do I make of the world?
18:41I mean, um...
18:43I think that we wouldn't be in this pickle
18:46if there were far more women in power
18:48all the way throughout the system.
18:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:54Yeah.
18:56Yeah.
18:56Yeah.
18:56I think, really, the longer the short of it is, um...
19:00male egos.
19:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:04Really?
19:04LAUGHTER
19:05I mean, no argument here.
19:08No argument here.
19:10Nabeel, what have you made of Iran and Trump and all of it?
19:14Well, far be it from me to regurgitate
19:17crazy right-wing conspiracy theories, but...
19:21LAUGHTER
19:23LAUGHTER
19:24APPLAUSE
19:28LAUGHTER
19:29I have to close off my chakras.
19:31Now, it's all the less fault.
19:34You see, what happened is, Donald Trump...
19:36Follow me now.
19:36Donald Trump was friends with Elon Musk, right?
19:39And they staged a break-up, but it was fake.
19:41And Elon Musk was known for selling what?
19:42Not electric cars.
19:44Mm-hm.
19:44That's right.
19:45Now, they fake that break-up.
19:47He then starts with what makes oil become expensive.
19:52Donald Trump has been radicalised...
19:54by just-stop oil.
19:58LAUGHTER
20:00LAUGHTER
20:05And...
20:05I mean, further proof is this.
20:08What are they known for?
20:08They put orange paint on statues of leaders.
20:12LAUGHTER
20:13Stay warm, people!
20:15LAUGHTER
20:17APPLAUSE
20:21Now, Charlotte, you were asked to sing
20:24at Donald Trump's inauguration.
20:26I was.
20:27And I know this because in 2017, you tweeted, and I quote,
20:30Your staff have asked me to sing at your inauguration.
20:33A simple internet search would show I think you're a tyrant.
20:36Bye.
20:38LAUGHTER
20:38For poo emojis.
20:40APPLAUSE
20:43APPLAUSE
20:48Do you ever look back and think,
20:49not enough poo emojis?
20:51LAUGHTER
20:52Yes, quite.
20:54Absolutely.
20:54Not enough poo emojis.
20:56There's not enough poo emojis in the world.
20:58LAUGHTER
20:58This week, Donald Trump's egomania reached new heights
21:01as a coin was approved with him on one side
21:03to mark America's 250th anniversary.
21:06This is what the brash new coin reportedly looks like.
21:09LAUGHTER
21:10It looks like he's about to get a prostate exam.
21:13LAUGHTER
21:14He's got, yeah, I've had three prostate exams
21:16and I aced them all.
21:20LAUGHTER
21:20APPLAUSE
21:23LAUGHTER
21:26With a whole bunch of people,
21:27I don't know who they were.
21:30LAUGHTER
21:31What's weird is, in America,
21:33although, look, there are exceptions,
21:34but it's generally illegal in America
21:36to have a living president on a coin.
21:39I mean, there's two ways of fixing that, right?
21:41LAUGHTER
21:42LAUGHTER
21:43There are some arguments over how big the coin should be.
21:46Uh, not surprisingly,
21:47Trump wants it to be as big as possible.
21:50Uh, so...
21:51Bring in the coin!
21:54APPLAUSE
21:57LAUGHTER
21:58LAUGHTER
22:00Thank you, Adam.
22:02Now, this is the biggest one we can make.
22:04As you can see, this is the front,
22:05but every head needs a tail,
22:07so this is what the back looks like.
22:10LAUGHTER
22:11LAUGHTER
22:15APPLAUSE
22:25I'm pretty sure that's called butt-coin.
22:27LAUGHTER
22:28We'll have more last link for you after the break.
22:30We'll log out of Facebook and limit our screen time.
22:32See you in a little bit.
22:44APPLAUSE
22:48Welcome back to Last Leg.
22:50We're joined by Charlotte Church and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid.
22:52Uh, in tech news tonight,
22:54a woman in America has successfully sued Meta and YouTube
22:57over her childhood addiction to social media.
23:00Uh, jurors found that both companies
23:02intentionally built addictive social media platforms
23:04that harmed the 20-year-old's mental health.
23:06How do we all feel about this?
23:08I'm pleased they've lost.
23:10I'm delighted they've lost.
23:11I think it's excellent news.
23:13Um...
23:13APPLAUSE
23:18I genuinely...
23:19You actually sent me that in a Facebook message, didn't you?
23:22LAUGHTER
23:22So I think it's...
23:23I think, um, obviously there's lots of positive things
23:26about social media.
23:27Yep.
23:27Um, but I think, um...
23:29it's not just that I think companies aren't interested
23:33in stopping people addicted to it.
23:35It is beneficial for them to make people addicted to it.
23:38Their whole raison d'etre is to get people on it
23:40for as long as possible.
23:41So everything they do on there is to get people addicted,
23:44to get people to keep going on it.
23:46Yep.
23:47And so I think it's obvious that they're doing that.
23:51APPLAUSE
23:54Rishala, I mean, you run retreats in the woods.
23:57This must be, like, perfect news for you.
23:59Yeah, I think it's really important.
24:01I mean, like, the...
24:02the scientific evidence is really...
24:05I mean, it's not just compelling,
24:07it's...
24:08it's just completely self-evident at this juncture,
24:11the cognitive decline,
24:13the ways in which, like, young people's brains
24:15are growing differently because of addiction
24:18to social media and technology in general.
24:21And, look, this isn't to say, like,
24:23technology's not the bad thing,
24:25technology's a tool
24:25and technology can do some amazing things.
24:27It's about the intention behind the technology
24:30and the people who have got control of the technology
24:33are horrific fascists.
24:37LAUGHTER
24:40And they are genuinely...
24:42Like, they are...
24:43they are invested in...
24:45in us being, um...
24:48you know, captive, you know,
24:50in so many ways.
24:51And our children being captive...
24:53captive.
24:53So, I...
24:53I believe, like,
24:55we can't wait for governments
24:58and nation-states to put in the legislation
25:01that protects us.
25:02I think we have to practise guardianship
25:04in our own households and families.
25:07APPLAUSE
25:11Now, obviously, now it's been proved to be harmful.
25:14Yeah.
25:15Do you reckon they'll have warnings on it?
25:16Like, cigarettes?
25:17You just log onto Facebook,
25:19just see a photo of someone who's been catfished.
25:21LAUGHTER
25:23Nabil, anything to add?
25:25It's almost like billionaires don't care about people.
25:29LAUGHTER
25:32APPLAUSE
25:34I...
25:35I have a restaurant policy
25:37when it comes to these things, right?
25:39Yeah.
25:39So, this is advice for you.
25:40If you go to a Nigerian restaurant
25:41or a Chinese restaurant
25:42or a Thai restaurant
25:43and there's no Nigerians,
25:44no Chinese, no Thai eating in there,
25:46don't eat there.
25:47So, it's the same thing with these websites.
25:49The owner of TikTok
25:50doesn't let his children on TikTok.
25:51The fuck are you doing on TikTok?
25:53LAUGHTER
25:59While we're talking social media,
26:01the thumbs-up emoji was voted this week
26:03as Britain's least favourite message icon.
26:05People said it's blunt, lazy and rude.
26:08Tell me about it.
26:10LAUGHTER
26:13Fucking get rid of it.
26:15I don't think you should be allowed to do it
26:17in real life, either.
26:19Good question, what's everyone's most used emoji?
26:22I'm less of an emoji person.
26:24I'm a chronic voice noter.
26:26Oh!
26:27I know, which is my mighty, isn't it?
26:29Some people are like, love...
26:30I think voice noting is a...
26:32is a superior form of communication
26:34as to the humble text.
26:36Well, you're just cool.
26:39LAUGHTER
26:40This is true.
26:41You raise a very good point.
26:43But also, my husband's, like, on at me often
26:46that my elongated, you know, sort of bambling
26:52voice notes are a little self-indulgent, so...
26:55How long's your longest voice note?
26:56I got one of eight minutes the other day.
26:58Oh!
26:59Yeah.
26:59I'm not that bad.
27:00I mean, I think I genuinely keep it
27:02around three minutes longest.
27:04Oh, OK.
27:04I think that's all right.
27:05Yeah.
27:06I think that's all right.
27:06My favourite emoji is, uh...
27:09That...
27:09That...
27:09That guy?
27:10You know the rig...
27:11The big wide mouth guy?
27:15LAUGHTER
27:17That...
27:18That guy?
27:18You know...
27:18You know the one?
27:20LAUGHTER
27:21I mean, he's got a big wide mouth
27:22and he looks shocked.
27:24Oh, yeah, OK.
27:26Yeah.
27:26Do you know the one I mean?
27:27Yeah.
27:27That guy.
27:29I'll tell you what, if we...
27:31I know, like, we've been going down on social media
27:33and technology, but if someone can please make that
27:35into a sticker.
27:36LAUGHTER
27:38You know what I mean?
27:39Like, when there's an awkward situation.
27:41That guy.
27:42Oh, the teeth one.
27:44That guy!
27:44Yeah!
27:44Oh, the teeth...
27:45What did you show your teeth in?
27:47LAUGHTER
27:51Meanwhile, Argos has ignited a debate this week
27:53after releasing a wooden influencer kit aimed at toddlers.
27:57We've got one here.
27:58It's for ages three and above.
28:00I'm going to set it up for you.
28:01There's a little tripod.
28:03It comes with a ring light.
28:05It comes with a phone.
28:08And a camera.
28:10And I guess that's like a little mini tablet of some sort.
28:13Oh, and a microphone.
28:14And a little microphone.
28:15What do we think?
28:17I think the audience seemed horrified.
28:19I mean, where does...
28:20Like, I don't...
28:21I don't like that.
28:23But, like, where does it...
28:24Where does it stop?
28:24Like, my first OnlyFans kit?
28:26I mean...
28:28LAUGHTER
28:31Oh...
28:32Oh...
28:32Oh...
28:32Nah.
28:33Uh, the kit also comes with this adorable private plane
28:37to get you out of Dubai.
28:40LAUGHTER
28:42And, look, we've decided to jump on board
28:44and make our own children's toy.
28:46Uh, for kids who want to grow up to be on the last leg.
28:48Yeah, so we've...
28:49We've made our...
28:49So we've got...
28:50We've got our very own...
28:51Me and Josh have made our own...
28:52Uh, Josh and Alex kits.
28:54So here we go.
28:55So I'm demonstrating...
28:56This is...
28:56This is to be your own very...
28:57Josh...
28:58Josh Widdicombe.
28:59We've got the hair.
29:00We've got the glasses.
29:03LAUGHTER
29:04We've got the...
29:04We've got the podcast mic.
29:06LAUGHTER
29:09And we've got...
29:10Oh...
29:10Why have we put the nail clippers in it?
29:12Just for...
29:12Well, cos I've got so many nails on my feet.
29:14Oh, right.
29:14And, yeah, yeah, cool, sure.
29:16And, yeah, and your nails.
29:17You've got...
29:17Josh's modelling the...
29:19The Alex...
29:19This is the Alex one.
29:20So I've got the hair.
29:21And then I've got the, uh...
29:22The mittens.
29:23Here you go.
29:24You've got the little Alex Brooker hands.
29:27I'll tell you what.
29:29You wear them at Disney, you get to the front of the queue.
29:31LAUGHTER
29:31And then, look!
29:33Look at this!
29:33Your very own...
29:34Slide on Prosphetic Leg.
29:37LAUGHTER
29:38Fucking all, isn't it?
29:40APPLAUSE
29:45Yeah, I, um...
29:47I'm gonna be honest.
29:47I think I took it in a slightly different direction.
29:49Uh...
29:50I've got my first...
29:51My first bone sore.
29:53LAUGHTER
29:55Uh...
29:55And then I've got some strawberry flavoured anaesthetic.
29:58LAUGHTER
29:58And a shitload of bandages.
29:59All in a little kit called, uh...
30:01The Last Leg Amputation Kit.
30:03So...
30:04LAUGHTER
30:05Yeah.
30:07APPLAUSE
30:10Kids at home, send in your videos.
30:11Let us know how you got on.
30:13LAUGHTER
30:15Uh...
30:15And, look, let's do a bit of royal news now.
30:17The Sun this week said that the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson,
30:19once met with an American production company
30:20to discuss taking part in a TV reality show
30:23in which she would create clones of Queen Elizabeth's corgis.
30:28Oh.
30:28I was worried that if she'd have taken it on,
30:30it would have gone well,
30:31then the idea would have been to clone Andrew.
30:34LAUGHTER
30:35And then the clone would go to prison.
30:38LAUGHTER
30:38Oh, that's clever.
30:39Do the jail time for him.
30:40What if that went wrong
30:41and she mistakenly cloned 100 Andrews?
30:44LAUGHTER
30:44That's the worst scenario.
30:45God.
30:46Yeah.
30:46What would you rather fight?
30:47Like an Andrew made up of 100...
30:49Like a massive 100 Andrew-sized Andrew
30:51or 100 little Andrews?
30:53Are we stoned?
30:54I think so.
30:55I think that is...
30:57LAUGHTER
30:58This did give Josh and Alex an idea for a game, though.
31:00Oh, yes.
31:01Yeah, it did.
31:02So...
31:02Now...
31:03Cloning corgis.
31:04We were discussing this earlier this week
31:05and we said that the point is
31:07there's no point cloning a corgi
31:09because you can't tell them apart.
31:10All corgis look the same.
31:11Yeah.
31:11Right.
31:12And I'm telling you now,
31:12if I had a pound for every time someone has said to me
31:14I can tell any corgis apart easily,
31:16I'd have about £2.36 by now.
31:18So, we are going to put this to a test
31:21in a game.
31:21We are calling...
31:25Corgi eyes
31:27I can't believe my corgi eyes
31:36Yes!
31:38Welcome to our brand new game show.
31:40Luke!
31:41I can't believe my corgis!
31:45This is a game the Queen herself used to regularly play
31:48in a drawing room, right?
31:49In a moment, my dear friend Alex Brooker over there
31:52Hi.
31:52And I are going to unveil nine pictures of corgis.
31:56OK?
31:57But eight of them are the same corgi
32:01and one is a different corgi.
32:03How do you find the different corgi?
32:07Basically, all you have to do is use the power
32:08of your own corgis and tell us which is your one out.
32:12But before we start, I want to let you know
32:13this isn't just a silly game
32:15because we have a very important special prize on offer
32:18for you.
32:20This prize is worth winning if you don't live in a flat
32:23or have allergies.
32:24Right.
32:25Let's uncover the corgis.
32:27OK, so...
32:29There's corg A.
32:31Corg A.
32:32Corg B.
32:34Oh, there's...
32:35Here's corg C.
32:36Oh, this is...
32:37Corg D.
32:39Happy little guys.
32:40Oh, I understand.
32:41Corg E.
32:42Yeah, get it?
32:43Oh.
32:44Corg F.
32:44Corg F.
32:46Corg G.
32:47I can hear Charlotte's already playing along.
32:49Oh, sorry.
32:50Corg H.
32:51OK.
32:52Ooh.
32:53And corgi.
32:54There you go.
32:56OK.
32:56What do you think in the audience?
32:58Oh.
32:59No, not the woo.
33:02Which corgi are you going for?
33:04What are you going for?
33:05What are you going for?
33:05He's the real one.
33:06He's the real one?
33:08He's the real one?
33:09What are you going for, guys?
33:10I think we're thinking...
33:10Well, I'm thinking that C's the real one, simply because all the rest of them...
33:14No, they're all real corgis.
33:15They're all real corgis.
33:16None of them are A.I.
33:18This isn't corg A.I.
33:20Oh, yes!
33:22Yes!
33:24We're done!
33:26We're done!
33:27Ah!
33:28Ah!
33:28So, corg C is the...
33:31Not the real one.
33:33The uncloned one.
33:34The uncloned one.
33:35Do you agree with that, Nabil?
33:36I'm not sure about that.
33:38Like, there's something about corg I that makes me...
33:40It looks like he has some kind of substance habit, but that's like...
33:44Yeah, he had some of that air spray weird.
33:46Okay, so which are you going to lock in your answer?
33:48C, Charlotte?
33:49I'm going to go for C.
33:50Nabil?
33:54What's that sound?
33:55I'm trying to see what I can recognize.
33:57Yay!
34:00It's like...
34:01Woo-hoo!
34:02We won't call that sort of thing in this game.
34:03Oh, yeah.
34:04We probably need an answer.
34:05Yeah.
34:06I think that, er...
34:08Corg E.
34:09Corg E.
34:10Sorry.
34:10You think corg E, and Charlotte, you said corg C.
34:12Corg C, yeah.
34:13Corg C.
34:15Oh, well, I can tell you, it was a good try, but it's not right.
34:19Your eyes have deceived you.
34:21No.
34:21You failed to spot the old corgi out, and I can't believe you got it wrong.
34:24It's corg D.
34:25Oh.
34:27Sorry.
34:28You could've won the special prize.
34:31Well, let's see what you could've won.
34:32Let's bring it out.
34:33Oh, gosh.
34:37Oh!
34:38Oh!
34:39Oh!
34:39Oh!
34:40Oh!
34:41Oh!
34:41Oh!
34:44Oh, no!
34:46Oh, no!
34:48Oh, no!
34:48Is it trained to bark on certain words?
34:51There's certain words, yeah.
34:53He's, um, he's a little bit against a certain, uh, American president.
34:57Ah!
34:58Does it work if I say Donald Trump?
35:01Trump?
35:01Oh!
35:03Oh!
35:05Oh!
35:07All right.
35:08We'll have more last leg for you after the break as we meet England's deaf women's
35:11futsal team and celebrate their massive victory.
35:13We'll see you in a little bit.
35:17Oh!
35:21Oh!
35:25Oh!
35:27Oh!
35:27Oh!
35:27Oh!
35:28Oh!
35:28I'm Michelle at church and Nabil Abdul Rashid.
35:30Uh, in disability news now, a woman by the name of Becky Coleman is hoping to become
35:35the first wheelchair user to row the Oxford and Cambridge boat race course in April.
35:39Uh, she's here with us tonight, so would you please welcome Becky Coleman.
35:42Woohoo!
35:46Woohoo!
35:47Woohoo!
35:47Woohoo!
35:47Woohoo!
35:48Woohoo!
35:48Woohoo!
35:48Woohoo!
35:49Woohoo!
35:52Now, Becky, let's first say you're wearing a mask because you really don't want to catch
35:56anything before the race.
35:57Is that right?
35:57Yeah, gotta stay good for next week.
35:59So, uh, yeah.
36:00Awesome work.
36:01So, when did you start rowing?
36:03So, I started rowing just under a year ago,
36:06a couple of days before the Oxford and Cambridge boat race, actually, last April.
36:10Right. And what changes have to be made to the boat?
36:12Yeah, so I row with a fixed seat, so I just row with my arms.
36:16And I also have stabilisers on the boat as well to add a bit of extra stability.
36:20And you're the first person to do this, so what's the plan for the future?
36:25Possibly maybe do the head of the Charles in America at some point.
36:28So, I know we've had a bit of a dig at the US this evening,
36:31but maybe you're still welcome.
36:34Yeah, possibly that, and maybe write a book at some point as well,
36:37kind of my experience with sepsis that I had a few years ago.
36:40So, yeah.
36:40And so, and, like, looking into your biog,
36:42you were also an elite triathlete and a top 40 wheelchair tennis player,
36:46so can you stop making the rest of us look bad?
36:49Yeah.
36:56We do have a little gift for you.
37:00We've got a little hands in a boat.
37:02Hands was our little Paralympic mascot.
37:09There you go.
37:10Thanks a lot.
37:10No worries.
37:12Good luck.
37:12Give us a wave.
37:13Take hands with you.
37:14Good luck, Becky.
37:21Glenn said,
37:22Oh, yes, it fucking is.
37:27Yes, England won the European Deaf Futsal Championship
37:30after their 2-0 win against Poland in the final over the weekend.
37:35Here are some of the highlights.
37:37This is the first goal from Lucinda Lawson.
37:41Great finish.
37:42Great finish.
37:43Here are the scenes at the final whistle.
37:49And here's the trophy left.
37:56We are very excited to have them in the studio,
37:58and they're just as excited to be here,
38:00so put your hands in the air like you really care
38:02for the European champions,
38:03the England Deaf Women's Futsal Team!
38:32So congratulations to you all.
38:34Zara, the captain.
38:36Where's Zara?
38:36Zara, what changes are made to the rules of your game?
38:40Yeah, so it's an indoor five-a-side football style.
38:44Obviously, that's the format.
38:45Without the walls,
38:46we play on a hard surface with a heavier ball.
38:49Yeah.
38:49So it's a little bit different than football,
38:51because we play indoors.
38:53But in terms of the Deaf Futsal game,
38:55we obviously play without our hearing devices,
38:57so everyone's on a level playing field.
38:59And the referees are supposed to use flags instead of whistles.
39:03It doesn't always work out that way,
39:04especially when you see a referee blowing a whistle
39:06and everyone's still running.
39:08LAUGHTER
39:11So, Kate, what are the challenges of playing Deaf Futsal?
39:14Well, we can't hear, is the first...
39:17LAUGHTER
39:20APPLAUSE
39:24That's the start.
39:25I think there's lots of different things
39:27that sort of play a part.
39:30So you've constantly got to be aware
39:32of every single little thing around you all the time,
39:35because, as Zara said,
39:36sometimes you keep running, someone else has stopped,
39:38and you end up clattering into each other sometimes.
39:43So on the court, that's one thing,
39:45and then off the court, we've actually got...
39:48We've all got full-time jobs.
39:51And then you've got Ellie with a full-time job,
39:53and she's also her mum,
39:54and Forrest came out to support us as well.
39:56So there's lots of different challenges.
39:59And Maisie, how do you communicate with each other?
40:02Yeah, so when we get each other's attention,
40:04we use BSL.
40:04So every country will have their own sort of sign language.
40:07But to be honest, the hardest part
40:09is actually getting the person's attention in the first place.
40:12I think some people can pick up a bit of sounds,
40:14you can yell at them and they will hear you.
40:16Most of us, it's frantic waving of hands
40:18trying to get people's attention.
40:20Or if you're Ellie Bettridge,
40:20you like to jump up and down and stomp your feet
40:22and still not get the person's attention.
40:24Yeah.
40:25And Sophie, you're 16...
40:2817.
40:2817, pardon me.
40:30So were you calling home regularly?
40:34No.
40:35LAUGHTER
40:37To be fair, I'd probably call my friend
40:39more than I'd actually call my own mum.
40:41Which, I'm sorry mum, but...
40:44LAUGHTER
40:44My friend's more important there.
40:46LAUGHTER
40:47LAUGHTER
40:47Wow.
40:48And look,
40:49we want to end the show by singing
40:51football's coming home or futsal's coming home,
40:53but we also want to sign it while we do it.
40:55So Lucinda, can you show us how to sign
40:57it's coming home, futsal's coming home?
41:01LAUGHTER
41:01LAUGHTER
41:05It's coming home.
41:07Does it have to be the right hand?
41:10So let's try...
41:11It's coming home, it's coming home,
41:14it's coming, futsal's coming home.
41:19It's a very small house I've got here.
41:21LAUGHTER
41:28We're going to try and learn that over the break
41:30and put those skills to use at the end of the show.
41:33We'll hold a sing-along and a sign-along
41:35for the England deaf women's futsal team.
41:38It's coming home, it's coming home,
41:41it's coming, futsal's coming home.
41:44I think we've got it.
41:45We'll see you in a little bit.
41:52APPLAUSE
42:00Welcome back to Last Leg.
42:01We're John Moussa at church and Nabil Abdul-Rashid.
42:05We're going to recap some news you might have missed this week.
42:07Sharks swimming in the Bahamas
42:09have been found to have traces of cocaine in their blood.
42:12LAUGHTER
42:13Yeah, cos sharks aren't cocky
42:15enough.
42:17Although I reckon it would be easier
42:19to get away from a shark
42:20if before they bit you
42:20they had to tell you about crypto.
42:23LAUGHTER
42:24I imagine them so off their nut
42:26that in the water
42:27they're doing the Jaws music themselves,
42:29going...
42:30LAUGHTER
42:32We're going to need a bigger mirror.
42:33Why has my thing gone smaller?
42:36LAUGHTER
42:36I think that would be called
42:37the grinding Jaws music.
42:39Along with the great white powder,
42:41sharks were also found to have had caffeine
42:43in their system.
42:44I know, I don't know if you've ever seen
42:46an over-caffeinated shark
42:47who's also taking cocaine.
42:49It's pretty much the same vibe
42:50as an estate agent's Christmas party.
42:54Meanwhile, a former Tory MP
42:55named Crispin Blunt
42:56was revealed this week
42:58to have been in possession of crystal meth.
43:00Police also found cannabis,
43:01presumably for a joint,
43:02or as it's now known on the street,
43:04a Crispin Blunt.
43:05LAUGHTER
43:07He represented himself in court,
43:09which is never a good sign,
43:10and said that he hosted
43:11drug-fuelled chemsex parties
43:13at his house
43:14in order to help inform government policy.
43:17No, he didn't!
43:19LAUGHTER
43:19What?!
43:20Oh, my days!
43:22A man of the people.
43:24LAUGHTER
43:28That's crazy!
43:30Do you know what?
43:31I was up till 3am last night
43:33working on policy.
43:35I think he might enjoy prison.
43:37By the way, Crispin Blunt...
43:38Working on prison policy.
43:40Crispin Blunt lost the party whip in 2023,
43:43and the party handcuffs a year later.
43:46LAUGHTER
43:47Animal story tonight,
43:48a squirrel was caught on film
43:49in London this week
43:50handling a vape in Brixton.
43:53Brr!
43:54Yeah...
43:56Here is...
43:59Here is the startling footage.
44:02Uh, there it is.
44:04Squirrel with a vape.
44:05Oh, no.
44:07Somewhere in the Caribbean,
44:07there's a shark on cocaine going,
44:09eh, soft cock.
44:11LAUGHTER
44:13And finally,
44:14Ipswich Town Football Club
44:15were forced to release a statement this week
44:17after a former leader, Nigel Farage...
44:19Ooh!
44:20LAUGHTER
44:21LAUGHTER
44:22LAUGHTER
44:23I couldn't help it.
44:25Oh, fuck that guy.
44:26I love that guy.
44:27I know, you hated Ipswich.
44:29I fucking...
44:31LAUGHTER
44:32LAUGHTER
44:32LAUGHTER
44:33Huge Norwich fan, Charlotte.
44:35Nigel Farage posted these promotional photos
44:37of himself on a tour of the stadium
44:39with the phrase,
44:39I've never been too bad on the right wing.
44:41Fuck off. Sorry.
44:43The club pointed out it wasn't an official visit
44:45and that they do not support any political viewpoint.
44:48Uh, yes.
44:49Just reflect how embarrassed
44:50the Ipswich town...
44:52The Ipswich fans are so embarrassed.
44:54Like, even more so than Arsenal fans.
44:56And Bin Laden supported us.
44:58LAUGHTER
44:59LAUGHTER
45:01LAUGHTER
45:01Ipswich's rivals Norwich hit back
45:02with this cheeky post saying,
45:04Book a stadium tour of Carrow Road.
45:06Terms and conditions will most definitely apply.
45:09LAUGHTER
45:09All right, we're about to end the show
45:10by celebrating the England women's deaf futsal team
45:13winning the European Championships.
45:14But before we do, would you please thank our guests,
45:16Charlotte Church...
45:17CHEERING
45:20..and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid...
45:22CHEERING
45:25..and my co-host, Josh Whittacombe...
45:27..and Alex Brokker.
45:29CHEERING
45:30..we'll be back next week
45:31with comedian Josh Pugh, TV legend Lorraine Kelly
45:34and online sensation Steve Bracknell.
45:35But right now, it's time to celebrate the England women's...
45:38And I'm...
45:39Yeah, do you know what?
45:39I'm going to put these on as well.
45:41..the England women's deaf futsal team
45:42who last weekend won the European Championship.
45:46CHEERING
45:50..hit the music.
45:53CHEERING
45:53It's coming home.
46:09There we go.
46:13Everyone seems to know the score
46:16We've heard it all before
46:19But not them
46:21They were sure
46:23That England would just blow them away
46:28With a brilliant display
46:30Show them all how to play
46:32Cos they remembered three lines on a shirt
46:38Everybody cheering
46:40It takes twice the work
46:44To win without your hearing
46:59It's coming home
47:02It's coming home
47:04It's coming
47:05Consul's coming home
47:08It's coming home
47:10It's coming home
47:11It's coming
47:13Consul's coming home
47:15Thanks for watching The Last Leg
47:17My name's Adam Hills
47:18We'll see you next week
47:19For The Next Leg
47:20We'll see you next week
47:22We'll see you next week
47:24We'll see you next week
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