00:00Big feelings are part of early childhood.
00:02Meltdowns can look intense, but they are often a sign that a child is overwhelmed,
00:07not a sign that the child is bad.
00:15When a little child melts down, the problem is not always behavior in the usual sense.
00:20Hunger, tiredness, noise, frustration, sensory overload, and sudden transitions
00:26can all push a young nervous system too far.
00:30Many children do not yet have the words to say,
00:32this is too much, so the body says it first.
00:43Shame can make a hard moment even harder.
00:46When a child hears messages like, stop being dramatic, or what is wrong with you,
00:53the child may feel more flooded, more defensive, and less able to calm down.
00:58A calmer approach does not remove limits.
01:01It changes the way those limits are delivered.
01:04One of the most useful tools is to name the feeling and keep the limit.
01:08Try language like, you are really mad that playtime ended, or that was disappointing.
01:15Then, follow it with a clear boundary.
01:17It is okay to be mad.
01:19It is not okay to hit.
01:21This helps a child feel understood without giving up structure.
01:25During the peak of a meltdown, long explanations usually do not help.
01:30Short, calm phrases work better.
01:32A steady voice, a little space when needed, or a quiet presence nearby can help a child borrow
01:39calm from the adult.
01:41This is called co-regulation.
01:43It is one of the ways children learn self-regulation over time.
01:55Many meltdowns begin long before the tears.
01:59Notice patterns.
02:00Does the child struggle before dinner, after school, during loud outings, or when screen time ends?
02:07Prevention can include snacks, simpler transitions, less overscheduling, better sleep routines, and more warning before a change.
02:17Once the child is calm, the next step is repair.
02:21That might mean cleaning up, checking on someone who got hurt, or practicing new words for next time.
02:27Children learn more from guided repair than from humiliation.
02:31The goal is not perfect behavior.
02:33The goal is growing skills.
02:46If meltdowns are frequent, intense, affecting school or daycare, or making home life feel constantly strained, extra support may help.
02:56A child therapist can help identify triggers, build emotional regulation skills, and support caregivers with practical tools.
03:14For support with big feelings, emotional regulation, and family stress, visit River North Counseling Group, LLC in Chicago, or learn
03:22more at RiverNorthCounseling.com.
03:24The goal is to be created.
03:29You
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