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00:01I
00:37Take some government advice, sit the family down,
00:40and get ready for your daily hour of screen time.
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for The Last Leg.
00:47Tonight on the show, we focus on Iran,
00:49give social media the side eye,
00:52and zoom in on some disability sport.
00:55Plus, we'll be joined by singer Charlotte Church
00:57and comedian Nabil Abdul-Rashid.
01:00On the show that always takes a stern look at the news.
01:12G'day!
01:14Hello.
01:18G'day, I'm Adam Hills.
01:20Welcome to The Last Leg,
01:21the show that heard the owner of OnlyFans had died
01:23and thought, I wonder if you have to pay extra for an open coffin.
01:27With me, as always, at the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittaker.
01:30And the man who thought crude oil was the opposite of extra virgin,
01:32Alex Brooker!
01:40Loads to get through tonight, loads to get through tonight,
01:42but something happened to me during the week
01:43that I wanted to bring up,
01:44because I know it's happened to Alex as well,
01:46in a similar way.
01:47So I was walking to tennis,
01:49I was in a pair of shorts,
01:50I had my prosthesis on,
01:52I had it taped up,
01:53because, look,
01:55it comes undone when I'm playing,
01:57so I have to tape it up.
01:58I keep saying to you, mate,
01:59you've got to get a new leg.
02:01Look, I like this one.
02:03It's comfy in it.
02:04Ditto.
02:04I like mine as well.
02:06So, as I was walking,
02:07this woman walked past me
02:08and she looked down
02:09and she saw my prosthetic leg
02:11and then she looked up at me
02:12as she kept walking and went,
02:13ooh, ouch.
02:19And she went so quickly
02:20that I didn't have time to go,
02:21it's,
02:23what a weird thing to say.
02:25Imagine if she'd seen Brooker,
02:27ouch, ouch, ouch.
02:30She's there like E.T.
02:31with a little light-up thing.
02:33Ouch.
02:34But when you first told us that story,
02:36you said,
02:36oh, woman walked past,
02:37saw you in your tennis gear.
02:38Yeah.
02:38And said, ouch,
02:39I thought she was like the fashion police.
02:42She was like, ouch, ouch.
02:44But I've, you know,
02:46I've had it before,
02:46so I was in my shorts
02:48and I was in the supermarket
02:51and the geezer kept looking down.
02:52You know when someone's looking at you,
02:53you go, they're going to say something
02:54in a minute?
02:55And he just went,
02:56so, what happened?
02:59And I was like,
03:00oh, well,
03:00you know,
03:01I had to have my foot amputated
03:02when I was a baby
03:03because I didn't have one of the bones
03:04in my lower leg,
03:06so then I had to make the decision
03:07to amputate my foot,
03:08so that's why I've got
03:09a prosthetic leg.
03:10And he just went,
03:12well, I hope it gets better.
03:15LAUGHTER
03:16LAUGHTER
03:20APPLAUSE
03:21Yeah.
03:22APPLAUSE
03:24You must have had people
03:25wish for you to get better.
03:27LAUGHTER
03:29Yeah, no,
03:29I used to only have one leg,
03:30but it grew back.
03:32LAUGHTER
03:33You had that recently
03:34in the gym, right?
03:34Oh, yes,
03:35I was in the gym,
03:36I was in the gym last week
03:37and I had my shorts on
03:38and I was on the exercise bike
03:40and his geezer kept looking down
03:41at my leg
03:42and I'm used to people,
03:43like,
03:43I don't mind,
03:44people do a double take,
03:45especially in the gym.
03:46I don't mind it.
03:47I think they,
03:47I imagine they're kind of looking
03:48just going,
03:49bloody hell,
03:49he's done more than skip leg day.
03:50But he was like looking,
03:51he was looking down at my leg
03:53and he kept looking at the lower part of it
03:55and I was thinking,
03:55this is really weird.
03:56Then I got home
03:57and I got in the shower,
03:59took the leg off
03:59and what I'd forgotten
04:01is that the other week
04:02I'd let my eldest decorate the leg
04:04with capybara stickers.
04:06They're called an arrow.
04:07So I had stickers
04:08all over my leg,
04:10including one that just says love.
04:12Oh.
04:13Which Josh put on there,
04:14which was lovely, actually.
04:15But yeah, it's fine.
04:16You know what,
04:16when you lifted your leg,
04:17your trousers up,
04:18the only thing I thought was,
04:19ouch.
04:22It's fine,
04:23it's fine now my daughter's
04:24into capybara.
04:25So I tell you what,
04:26when she was into
04:26Sabrina Carpenter
04:27and put them stickers on,
04:28I just looked like a pervert.
04:31I'm going to say a sentence now
04:33that I've never said before
04:33on this show
04:34and I never thought I would.
04:36In other capybara news,
04:39a rogue capybara
04:40escaped from Marwell Zoo
04:42last week
04:42and has been spotted
04:43across Hampshire
04:44on the banks
04:45of the River Itchen
04:46and at a pub quiz.
04:50I don't know
04:51who that hairy guy was
04:52but he was great
04:52on South American Geography.
04:57This surprising video
04:58was taken of the rodent
04:59on the banks of a river.
05:00Watch the video
05:01but also listen out
05:02for the name
05:02of the woman's dog.
05:08Growler?
05:09Growler?
05:10Oh, it's a hot deer.
05:11No, Growler, wait.
05:16Growler!
05:23What in hell is that?
05:27Oh, who calls
05:30their dog Growler?
05:32Is that this year's Fenton?
05:35Yeah, I'm not sure
05:36kind of naming your dog
05:37after slang terms
05:38for private parts
05:39is a...
05:40Anyway, this is my sausage dog,
05:42Shlong.
05:44Minge!
05:44Minge!
05:45Here, Minge!
05:49Torture!
05:50Torture!
05:51Faps!
05:56Sorry, I've always wanted
05:57to shout that on TV.
05:59I can't believe I said the word.
06:00First time I said the word
06:01minge on South America.
06:04And let's hope
06:05the last.
06:06Yes, sorry.
06:07Alex actually met
06:08a capybara recently
06:09and we're not making this up,
06:10either.
06:10No, I didn't.
06:10Have a look to you.
06:11I met him.
06:12A bit wanted to do it.
06:13It was easy.
06:14He called to himself,
06:15I'll come over and see this
06:16little weird thing
06:16with funny little paws.
06:17But, um...
06:18Yeah, these are...
06:18No, but you didn't realise
06:19these capybara snickers
06:20are like Starbucks.
06:21If you get ten,
06:22you get to get one, so...
06:23LAUGHTER
06:25We are live
06:26on your telly right now,
06:27so feel free to ask us
06:28any questions about the news.
06:29Message us on Instagram,
06:30the hashtag's
06:30IsItOK?
06:31WhatsApp,
06:32the number is
06:3407956175908
06:34or you can scan the QR code
06:36on your screen.
06:37Crispin Fisher just messaged in,
06:38I mean, how's this for topical?
06:40Is it OK?
06:40Will Tiger Woods
06:41soon be looking
06:42for a new driver?
06:43LAUGHTER
06:46And, um...
06:47You know what?
06:48We all wondered
06:49what World War III
06:50was going to look like.
06:51Turns out,
06:51it's a lot more ridiculous
06:53than any of us
06:54would have predicted.
06:55In the last 24 hours,
06:56Donald Trump has described
06:58the British Navy as toys,
06:59said Iran had been
07:01beat to shit,
07:02and, I'm not making this up,
07:04implied that the new
07:05Ayatollah was gay.
07:07He sounds like Jay
07:09from the Inbetweeners.
07:11LAUGHTER
07:13But the thing is, though,
07:14generally,
07:15if, like, one of your mates
07:16came out
07:16with all of that stuff
07:17in the pub,
07:18you go,
07:18do you know what, mate,
07:18shall we get you home?
07:20Yeah.
07:21We're not sure
07:22which of Trump's statements
07:23prompted the CIA director
07:24John Ratcliffe
07:25to adopt this relatable pose.
07:27LAUGHTER
07:28Oh!
07:29I thought they were just
07:30playing hide-and-seek.
07:32LAUGHTER
07:33He's there counting.
07:3499, 100.
07:36Donald's hiding
07:36the one place
07:37you wouldn't expect,
07:37Melania's bedroom.
07:40LAUGHTER
07:41LAUGHTER
07:42LAUGHTER
07:43Do you think Donald Trump...
07:44You know when you hide-and-seek
07:45with a kid?
07:46Yeah.
07:46With Donald Trump,
07:47it's the same.
07:48You walk in,
07:48and you can see him poking out,
07:51but you have to pretend
07:52you can't see him.
07:53LAUGHTER
07:54LAUGHTER
07:55Trump also rambled at length
07:56about his love of Sharpie pens
07:57for some reason,
07:58before then owning himself
08:00in this less-than-humble brag.
08:03I'm the only president
08:04that ever took a cognitive test.
08:07I took it three times.
08:09It's actually a very hard test
08:10for a lot of people.
08:11It wasn't hard for me.
08:13But it's a cognitive test.
08:15It starts off with an easy question,
08:17and by the time you get to the middle,
08:18it gets tougher.
08:19By the time you get to the end,
08:21very few people can answer those questions.
08:22They get very tough,
08:23mathematical equations and things.
08:26I took it three times.
08:28I aced it all three times
08:30in front of numerous doctors
08:31that I have no idea who they are.
08:33Who are... who they are.
08:34LAUGHTER
08:36LAUGHTER
08:36Why is he doing it again?
08:38If he's acing it,
08:39they're going,
08:40bloody hell, that was good.
08:41I've got to see you do it again.
08:44I think he passes it,
08:45goes out,
08:46gives another press conference,
08:47and they go in there and go,
08:48do you know what,
08:48I think this fucking computer won't work.
08:51LAUGHTER
08:51If you have to take any test
08:53a multiple number of times,
08:54that's not a good thing.
08:55LAUGHTER
08:56I don't want to get into a cab
08:57with a driver who's gone,
08:58you know what,
08:58I've taken the driving test nine times.
09:02LAUGHTER
09:03And going home with someone
09:04and they're like,
09:05do you know what,
09:05I've been tested for syphilis
09:07four times.
09:08LAUGHTER
09:12I think we're OK.
09:13Um, look,
09:14there has been a lot of
09:14back and forward this week.
09:15In fact,
09:16the whole thing has been very
09:17he said,
09:17she I said.
09:19LAUGHTER
09:21That's lovely.
09:22LAUGHTER
09:23Trump repeatedly said
09:24Iran are, quote,
09:25begging for a deal,
09:26but they say that's not true.
09:28And look,
09:28let's face it,
09:29it's probably not the first time
09:30Trump's assumed someone
09:31was begging for it
09:32when they absolutely weren't.
09:34LAUGHTER
09:35LAUGHTER
09:36This Week in Iranian Spokes...
09:37Yeah, yeah.
09:41APPLAUSE
09:45Yeah, repost that one,
09:47you orange furball.
09:49LAUGHTER
09:50This Week in Iranian Spokesman
09:52explained the situation
09:53in a way that made it sound
09:54less like a geopolitical confrontation
09:56and more like a high school spat.
09:59Our American counterparts
10:00have begun sending messages
10:02through others,
10:03other countries that are our friends.
10:05If there are messages
10:06through others
10:07to which we respond
10:08with our own position
10:09and demands,
10:10that is not called conversation
10:12nor negotiation or anything.
10:14This is simply
10:15sending messages
10:16through others.
10:17It's like the political equivalent
10:19of saying,
10:19if you've got something
10:20to say to me,
10:21say it to my face.
10:22LAUGHTER
10:22Today, the US
10:23bombed two nuclear-related facilities
10:25to which Iran said,
10:26but we were on a break.
10:28LAUGHTER
10:29The only time you ever, like,
10:30pass messages to someone,
10:32like, through their friends,
10:33is that when you're at school,
10:35when you fancy someone.
10:36Yeah.
10:36Speaking of which,
10:37Adam, can you just come over here
10:38a second?
10:40Do you mind?
10:41Sorry.
10:42Can you, um...
10:44Can you just give this
10:45to Josh for my place?
10:46LAUGHTER
10:47LAUGHTER
10:48LAUGHTER
10:51LAUGHTER
10:51Not with a Capybara involved, no.
10:53LAUGHTER
10:54LAUGHTER
11:05Don't worry,
11:06you can't catch it.
11:06I've been telling you for 14 years.
11:09I've been tested four times.
11:12LAUGHTER
11:13APPLAUSE
11:18At one point this week,
11:19Donald Trump said he was working
11:20with the Ayatollah,
11:21but that's the same guy
11:22whose father Trump killed
11:23and who may or may not be in a coma.
11:26So he's either angry or sleepy.
11:28But I don't...
11:29I don't know what's going to go
11:30if he's in a coma.
11:31They're going to be operating him
11:32like Weekend at Bernie's.
11:34LAUGHTER
11:35LAUGHTER
11:36Look, it's not...
11:36It's not a Zoom call
11:37moving his jaw up and down.
11:38It's not surprising Iran
11:39were a little bit confused by it all.
11:41This week, Donald Trump presented them
11:42with a 15-point plan,
11:43but check out the specifics
11:45in this vague clip.
11:4815 points.
11:49The Iran has said yes to me.
11:50Well, they're not going to have
11:51a nuclear weapon.
11:52That's number one.
11:53That's number one, two, and three.
11:54They will never have a nuclear weapon.
11:58LAUGHTER
11:58LAUGHTER
11:59LAUGHTER
12:01LAUGHTER
12:01You can't just repeat
12:03the first three points over again.
12:05It's not the rules of Fight Club.
12:07LAUGHTER
12:07What are rules 4 through 15?
12:09What did I just say?
12:11LAUGHTER
12:12Sorry.
12:13No, you carry on.
12:13Everyone thinks that the reason
12:14why they're not agreeing to it
12:15is because it's the nuclear weapons
12:17and that's the sticking point.
12:18But it's not.
12:19It's because I found out
12:20that the US are asking,
12:22in those 15 points,
12:23they're asking Iran to do things
12:24that are impossible for them to do.
12:26Like, point six is
12:27eat a donut without licking your lips
12:29and they're just...
12:30LAUGHTER
12:31LAUGHTER
12:32Point seven is find a word
12:33that rhymes with orange.
12:33And they're like,
12:34look, we'll give you the nucleus, but...
12:36LAUGHTER
12:37LAUGHTER
12:38So one, two, three are...
12:39No nuclear weapons.
12:40Yeah.
12:41And then one, two, three, four is
12:42I declare a thumb war.
12:44LAUGHTER
12:45And then five, six, seven, eight
12:47is who do we appreciate?
12:49LAUGHTER
12:50Look, the main thing is
12:51Iran already agreed
12:52not to have a nuclear weapon
12:53before this war began.
12:54In fact, the entire plan
12:56that was put forward this week
12:57seems to be from May 2025.
12:59The giveaway is that it contains
13:01references to the Hawke tour girl.
13:04LAUGHTER
13:04LAUGHTER
13:05Point seven is you have to watch adolescence.
13:07LAUGHTER
13:09LAUGHTER
13:09Uh, no, I just think that it's, um...
13:12LAUGHTER
13:13I don't...
13:14I forgot what I was going to say.
13:16LAUGHTER
13:18I was thinking about...
13:19I was thinking,
13:19is the Hawke tour girl last year?
13:21LAUGHTER
13:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:22Yeah.
13:23What's amazing is...
13:24Point twelve is...
13:24You've got to listen to Lily Allen's new album.
13:26LAUGHTER
13:27What's incredible is
13:28you aced your cognitive test four times.
13:30LAUGHTER
13:30Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:31Yeah, yeah.
13:32And I won the fun war.
13:34LAUGHTER
13:36LAUGHTER
13:37LAUGHTER
13:37Earlier in the week, Donald Trump thanked Iran
13:39for giving the US, quote,
13:40a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money.
13:43And everyone was, like, wondering
13:44what this amazing gift was going to be.
13:46Turned out, it was allowing eight ships
13:48through the Strait of Hormuz.
13:50Eight.
13:51Before the war, there were 138 ships a day
13:53going through that strait.
13:54That's not much of a gift.
13:56If this was love, actually,
13:57Donald Trump just got the Joni Mitchell CD.
14:00LAUGHTER
14:01Uh, thankfully, the British ship HMS Dragon
14:03finally arrived in Cyprus this week,
14:05four weeks after the war began.
14:06More like dragging your heels, am I right?
14:09Oh, there we go.
14:10And just when you thought the British Navy
14:11couldn't look more embarrassing,
14:12this week they had to borrow a ship from Germany
14:15to fulfil their obligations in the Atlantic Ocean.
14:18How's that working, like, borrowing...
14:20borrowing a ship off someone to take to war?
14:22Yeah.
14:23Like, is Keir Starmer having to go around the ship
14:25with a German, like, with a diagram,
14:26just marking off where the dents already are?
14:30LAUGHTER
14:31No, there's a scratch on the starboard side there, Keir.
14:33Yeah.
14:34The captain gets into the seats really far back.
14:37LAUGHTER
14:38The last thing he heard was,
14:39make sure you return it with a full tank.
14:42LAUGHTER
14:44So, look, as the ceasefire is extended
14:46and the world speculates as to how Donald Trump is behaving,
14:48we think we've found a pattern of bullshit, OK?
14:51Now, there's an acronym being used
14:54to describe Donald Trump's way of operating,
14:56and it's TARCO.
14:57Trump always chickens out.
15:00But we think something else is going on,
15:02and I think Donald Trump's hairstyle is the key to all this.
15:06LAUGHTER
15:08Now, Donald Trump likes to charge into things head-first,
15:12but it doesn't always work out.
15:14Take Iran, for example.
15:15This is a map, a vague map,
15:17of the Strait of Hormuz, OK?
15:21Can you tell what it is yet?
15:23LAUGHTER
15:27LAUGHTER
15:34Now, Donald Trump attacked these guys,
15:38who then attacked all of these guys.
15:40They then blocked all of this up,
15:41stopping the oil coming from over here.
15:44As you can see, he's made an absolute mess of it.
15:47So, what does Donald Trump do?
15:50LAUGHTER
15:53APPLAUSE
15:56He just brushes over it with claims of a peace deal
15:58that may or may not exist.
16:00All he needs is a sympathetic media
16:01to create a smoke screen and hold it in place.
16:04LAUGHTER
16:05Oh, that's fucking real.
16:09The hair?
16:10LAUGHTER
16:10I mean, it doesn't look unlike my hair now, does it?
16:14LAUGHTER
16:14But this isn't the first time Donald Trump has done this.
16:17Have a look at Stormy Daniels.
16:19Trump's lawyer paid $130,000 in hush money
16:23for her to keep quiet about allegations of an affair with Trump,
16:27which he denied.
16:30LAUGHTER
16:31LAUGHTER
16:31I've got it in my mouth!
16:33LAUGHTER
16:34LAUGHTER
16:35How about Trump University, set up in 2004?
16:40It didn't actually confer grades or degrees
16:42and was the subject of a number of lawsuits.
16:45But three of those lawsuits,
16:47Donald Trump settled out of court for $25 million.
16:51LAUGHTER
16:53Then there was Trump's steaks.
16:57LAUGHTER
16:58That was with my eyes!
17:00LAUGHTER
17:01Trump Casino Atlantic City.
17:04LAUGHTER
17:07And Trump Shuttle,
17:09an airline that went under, ironically,
17:11partly due to a spike in fuel prices during the Gulf War.
17:15LAUGHTER
17:17That was like being in Guantanamo Bay.
17:20LAUGHTER
17:21Donald Trump has spent his entire life
17:23running headfirst into things,
17:25making an absolute mess
17:26and then somehow managing to cover it all up.
17:28Which means TARCO doesn't stand for
17:31Trump Always Chickens Out,
17:32it actually stands for
17:33Trump Always Combs Over.
17:36LAUGHTER
17:39APPLAUSE
17:46And there you have it.
17:48Male pattern bullshit.
17:51LAUGHTER
17:53APPLAUSE
17:57All right, let's welcome tonight's guest.
17:59She's a singer who hosts dreaming retreats in the woods.
18:01He's a comedian who has a purple belt in jiu-jitsu.
18:04She's a lover and he's a fighter.
18:06It's Charlotte Church and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid.
18:33Charlotte, what do you make of the world at the moment?
18:37That can be an answer.
18:38LAUGHTER
18:40What do I make of the world?
18:41I mean, I think that we wouldn't be in this pickle
18:46if there were far more women in power
18:48all the way throughout the system.
18:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:54And, yeah, yeah, I think really
18:57the longer the short of it is male egos.
19:06No argument here.
19:08No argument here.
19:10Nabeel, what have you made of Iran and Trump and all of it?
19:14Well, far be it from me
19:16to regurgitate crazy right-wing conspiracy theories,
19:27but I have to close off my chakras.
19:31Now, it's all the less fault.
19:34You see, what happened is Donald Trump,
19:36follow me now,
19:36Donald Trump was friends with Elon Musk, right?
19:39And they staged a breakup, but it was fake.
19:41And Elon Musk was known for selling what?
19:42Electric cars.
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:44That's right.
19:45Now, they fake that breakup.
19:47He then starts to, what makes oil become expensive.
19:52Donald Trump has been radicalised
19:54by just-stop oil.
19:58LAUGHTER
20:05And, I mean, further proof is this.
20:08What are they known for?
20:08They put orange paint on statues of leaders.
20:11LAUGHTER
20:13Stay woke, people!
20:15LAUGHTER
20:22Now, Charlotte,
20:23you were asked to sing at Donald Trump's inauguration.
20:26I was.
20:27And I know this because in 2017,
20:28you tweeted, and I quote,
20:30your staff have asked me to sing at your inauguration.
20:33A simple internet search would show
20:35I think you're a tyrant.
20:36Bye.
20:38Four poo emojis.
20:48Do you ever look back and think,
20:49not enough poo emojis?
20:52Yes, quite.
20:54Absolutely.
20:54Not enough poo emojis.
20:56There's not enough poo emojis in the world.
20:58This week, Donald Trump's egomania reached new heights
21:01as a coin was approved with him on one side
21:03to mark America's 250th anniversary.
21:05This is what the brush on your coin reportedly looks like.
21:08LAUGHTER
21:10It looks like he's about to get a prostate exam.
21:13LAUGHTER
21:14He's got, yeah.
21:15I've had three prostate exams and I aced them all.
21:21LAUGHTER
21:26With a whole bunch of people,
21:27I don't know who they were.
21:30LAUGHTER
21:31What's weird is in America,
21:33although, look, there are exceptions,
21:34but it's generally illegal in America
21:36to have a living president on a coin.
21:39I mean, there's two ways of fixing that, right?
21:42LAUGHTER
21:43LAUGHTER
21:44There are some arguments over how big the coin should be.
21:46Not surprisingly, Trump wants it to be as big as possible.
21:49Uh, so, bring in the coin!
21:54LAUGHTER
21:58APPLAUSE
22:00Thank you, Adam.
22:02Now, this is the biggest one we can make.
22:04As you can see, this is the front,
22:05but every head needs a tail,
22:07so this is what the back looks like.
22:11LAUGHTER
22:14APPLAUSE
22:25I'm pretty sure that's called butt-coin.
22:27LAUGHTER
22:28We'll have more last week for you after the break.
22:30We'll log out of Facebook and limit our screen time.
22:32See you in a little bit.
22:33APPLAUSE
22:48Welcome back to Last Leg.
22:50We're joined by Charlotte Church and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid.
22:52In tech news tonight,
22:54a woman in America has successfully sued Meta and YouTube
22:57over her childhood addiction to social media.
23:00Jurors found that both companies
23:02intentionally built addictive social media platforms
23:04that harmed the 20-year-old's mental health.
23:06How do we all feel about this?
23:08I'm pleased they've lost.
23:10I'm delighted they've lost.
23:11I think it's excellent news.
23:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:17APPLAUSE
23:17I genuinely...
23:19You actually sent me that in a Facebook message, didn't you?
23:22So I think it's...
23:23I think, obviously,
23:25there's lots of positive things about social media.
23:27Yep.
23:27But I think it's not just that I think companies aren't interested
23:33in stopping people addicted to it.
23:35It is beneficial for them to make people addicted to it.
23:38Their whole raison d'etre is to get people on it
23:40for as long as possible.
23:41So everything they do on there
23:43is to get people addicted,
23:44to get people to keep going on it.
23:46Yep.
23:47And so I think it's obvious that they're doing that.
23:51APPLAUSE
23:52And...
23:54Rishala, I mean, you run retreats in the woods.
23:57This must be, like, perfect news for you.
23:59Yeah, I think it's really important.
24:01I mean, like, the scientific evidence is really...
24:05I mean, it's not just compelling,
24:08it's just completely self-evident at this juncture,
24:11the cognitive decline,
24:13the ways in which the, like, young people's brains
24:15are growing differently because of addiction
24:18to social media and technology in general.
24:21And, look, this isn't to say, like, technology's not the bad thing.
24:24Technology's a tool and technology can do some amazing things.
24:28It's about the intention behind the technology
24:30and the people who have got control of the technology
24:33are, um, horrific fascists.
24:37LAUGHTER
24:37And, uh...
24:40And they are genuinely...
24:42Like, they are...
24:43They are invested in...
24:45..in us being, um...
24:48..you know, captive, you know,
24:50in so many ways.
24:51And our children being captive.
24:53So I...
24:53I believe, like, we can't wait for governments
24:58and nation-states to put in the legislation
25:01that protects us.
25:02I think we have to practise guardianship
25:04in our own households and families.
25:07APPLAUSE
25:09Yeah.
25:10Yeah.
25:11Do you know if...
25:11Now, obviously, now it's been proved to be harmful.
25:14Yeah.
25:14Do you reckon they'll have warnings on it, like cigarettes?
25:17You just log on to Facebook,
25:19just see a photo of someone who's been catfished.
25:21LAUGHTER
25:23Nabeel, anything that I had?
25:25It's almost like billionaires don't care about people.
25:28LAUGHTER
25:31APPLAUSE
25:35I have a restaurant policy
25:37when it comes to these things, right?
25:39So this is advice for you.
25:40If you go to a Nigerian restaurant
25:41or a Chinese restaurant or a Thai restaurant
25:43and there's no Nigerians, no Chinese,
25:45no Thai eating in there,
25:46don't eat there.
25:47So it's the same thing with these websites.
25:49The owner of TikTok doesn't let his children on TikTok.
25:51The fuck are you doing on TikTok?
25:53LAUGHTER
25:55LAUGHTER
25:58APPLAUSE
25:59While we're talking social media,
26:01the thumbs-up emoji was voted this week
26:03as Britain's least favourite message icon.
26:05People said it's blunt, lazy and rude.
26:08Tell me about it.
26:10LAUGHTER
26:11LAUGHTER
26:13LAUGHTER
26:13Fucking get rid of it.
26:15I don't think you should be allowed to do it
26:17in real life, either.
26:19Good question, what's everyone's most used...
26:21most used emoji?
26:22I'm less of an emoji person.
26:24I'm a chronic voice noter.
26:26I know, which is Marmitey, isn't it?
26:29Some people are like, love...
26:30I think voice noting is a superior form of communication
26:34as to the humble text.
26:36Well, they're just cool.
26:39LAUGHTER
26:40This is true.
26:41You raise a very good point.
26:42But also, my husband's like on at me often
26:46that my elongated, you know, sort of bambling voice notes
26:52are a little self-indulgent, so...
26:54How long's your longest voice note?
26:56I got one of eight minutes the other day.
26:58Oh!
26:59Yeah. I'm not that bad.
27:00I mean, I think I genuinely keep it around three minutes longest.
27:04Oh, OK. I think that's all right.
27:05Yeah.
27:06I think that's all right.
27:06My favourite emoji is, uh, that...
27:09that guy?
27:10You know the big wide mouth guy?
27:15LAUGHTER
27:16LAUGHTER
27:17You know the one.
27:20LAUGHTER
27:20LAUGHTER
27:21He's got a big wide mouth and he looks shocked.
27:24Oh, yeah, OK, yeah.
27:26Do you know the one I mean?
27:27Yeah.
27:27That guy.
27:28LAUGHTER
27:29I'll tell you what, if we...
27:30I know, like, we've been going down on social media
27:33and technology, but if someone can please make that
27:35into a sticker.
27:37LAUGHTER
27:38You know what I mean?
27:39Like, when there's an awkward situation.
27:41That guy.
27:42Oh, the teeth one.
27:44That guy, yeah!
27:44Oh, the teeth...
27:45What did you show your teeth in?
27:47LAUGHTER
27:51Meanwhile, Argos has ignited a debate this week
27:53after releasing a wooden influencer kit aimed at toddlers.
27:57We've got one here.
27:58It's for ages three and above.
28:00I'm going to set it up for you.
28:01There's a little tripod.
28:03It comes with a ring light.
28:05It comes with a phone and a camera
28:09and I guess that's like a little mini tablet of some sort.
28:13Oh, and a microphone.
28:14And a little microphone.
28:15What do we think?
28:17I think the audience seemed horrified.
28:19I mean, where does...
28:20Like, I don't...
28:21I don't like that, but, like, where does it...
28:23Where does it stop?
28:24Like, my first OnlyFans kit?
28:26I mean...
28:28Oh!
28:30Oh!
28:32Oh!
28:32No!
28:34The kit also comes with this adorable private plane
28:37to get you out of Dubai.
28:39LAUGHTER
28:39LAUGHTER
28:43And, look, we've decided to jump on board
28:44and make our own children's toy
28:46for kids who want to grow up to be on the last leg.
28:48Yeah, so we've made...
28:49So we've got our very own...
28:51Me and Josh have made our very own Josh and Alex kits.
28:54So here we go.
28:55So I'm demonstrating...
28:56This is to be your own very own Josh Widdicombe.
28:59We've got the hair.
29:00We've got the glasses.
29:04We've got the podcast mic.
29:06LAUGHTER
29:07LAUGHTER
29:09And we've got...
29:10Oh, why have we bought some nail clippers in it?
29:12Just for...
29:12Well, cos I've got so many nails on my feet.
29:14Oh, right.
29:14Yeah, yeah, cool, too.
29:16And your nails.
29:17You've got Josh's modelling the Alex...
29:19This is the Alex one, so I've got the hair.
29:21Yeah, there you go.
29:21And then I've got the mittens.
29:23Here you go.
29:24You've got the little Alex Brooker hands.
29:27LAUGHTER
29:28I'll tell you what, you wear them at Disney,
29:29you get to the front of the queue.
29:32And then...
29:32Look, look at this.
29:33Your very own slide-on prosthetic leg.
29:36LAUGHTER
29:45Yeah, I'm going to be honest,
29:47I think I took it in a slightly different direction.
29:49I've got my first...
29:51My first bone saw.
29:53LAUGHTER
29:54And then I've got some strawberry-flavoured anaesthetic
29:57and a shitload of bandages
29:59all in a little kit called the Last Leg Amputation Kit.
30:03LAUGHTER
30:05LAUGHTER
30:10Kids at home, send in your videos,
30:12let us know how you got on.
30:13LAUGHTER
30:15And, look, let's do a bit of royal news now.
30:17The Sun this week said that the Duchess of York's Sarah Ferguson
30:19once met with an American production company
30:20to discuss taking part in a TV reality show
30:23in which she would create clones of Queen Elizabeth's corgis.
30:28Oh, I was worried that if she'd have taken it on,
30:30it would have gone well,
30:32then the idea would have been to clone Andrew.
30:35And then the clone would go to prison.
30:38Oh, that's clever.
30:39Do the jail time for him.
30:40What if that went wrong
30:41and she mistakenly cloned 100 Andrews?
30:44That's the worst scenario.
30:46God, yeah.
30:46What would you rather fight?
30:47Like an Andrew made up of...
30:49Like a massive 100 Andrew-sized Andrew
30:51or 100 little Andrews?
30:53Are we stoned?
30:54I think so.
30:56LAUGHTER
30:56I think that is, baby, Steve.
30:58This did give Josh and Alex an idea for a game, though.
31:00Oh, yes.
31:01Yeah, it did.
31:02Now, cloning corgis.
31:04We were discussing this earlier this week
31:05and we said the point is
31:07there's no point cloning a corgi
31:09because you can't tell them apart.
31:10All corgis look the same.
31:11Yeah.
31:12And I'm telling you now,
31:12if I had a pound for every time someone has said to me
31:14I can tell any corgis apart easily,
31:16I'd have about £2.36 by now.
31:18So, we are going to put this to a test
31:21in a game we are calling...
31:24Corgi eyes
31:27I can't believe my corgi eyes
31:36Yes!
31:37Welcome to our brand new game show.
31:41I can't believe my corgi eyes.
31:45So, this is a game the Queen herself
31:47used to regularly play in a drawing room, right?
31:49In a moment, my dear friend Alex Brooker over there,
31:52yeah, and I are going to unveil
31:54nine pictures of corgis, okay?
31:57But eight of them are the same corgi
32:01and one is a different corgi.
32:03How do you find the different corgi?
32:07Basically, all you have to do is use the power of your own corg eyes
32:09and tell us which is your one out.
32:12But before we start, I want to let you know,
32:13this isn't just a silly game
32:15because we have a very important special prize on offer for you.
32:20This prize is worth winning if you don't live in a flat or have allergies, right?
32:24Let's uncover the corgis.
32:27Okay, so, there's corg A, corg B, here's corg C, corg D, corg E, corg E, corg F, corg G,
32:47I can hear Charlotte's already playing along, oh sorry, corg H, and corg I.
32:54Oh, there you go.
32:55Okay.
32:56What do you think in the audience?
32:58Oh.
32:59No, not the woo.
33:02Which corg are you going for?
33:04What are you going for?
33:05He's the real one.
33:07He's the real one.
33:08So, what do you think, guys?
33:09I think we think, well, I'm thinking that C's the real one simply because all the rest of them.
33:14No, they're all real corgis.
33:15They're all real corgis.
33:17None of them are AI.
33:18This isn't corg AI.
33:20Oh, yes!
33:22Yes, brother!
33:25We're done!
33:27Huh?
33:28Huh?
33:28So, corg C is the, is the, not the real one, the uncloned, the uncloned one.
33:35Do you agree with that, Nabil?
33:36I'm not sure about that.
33:38Like, there's something about corg AI that makes me, it looks like it has some kind of substance habit, but
33:42that's like.
33:44Yeah, he had some of that airspray weird.
33:46Okay, so which are you going to lock in your answer?
33:48C, Charlotte?
33:49I'm going to go for C.
33:50Nabil?
33:54What's that sound?
33:55I'm going to see what I can recognize.
34:01Woohoo!
34:02Well, I'm for that sort of thing in this game.
34:04Oh, yeah.
34:04We probably need an answer.
34:05I think that, uh, corgi.
34:09Corgi.
34:10You think corgi, and Charlotte, you said corg C, yeah.
34:13Corg C. Oh, well, I can tell you, it was a good try, but it's not right.
34:19Your eyes have deceived you.
34:20You've failed to spot the old corgi out, and I can't believe you got it wrong.
34:24It's corg D.
34:25Oh.
34:26Oh.
34:27Sorry.
34:28You could have won.
34:29You could have won the special prize.
34:31Well, let's see what you could have won.
34:32Let's bring it out.
34:33Oh, gosh.
34:35Corgi.
34:39Corgi.
34:44Oh, no.
34:46Oh, no.
34:48Oh, no.
34:48Is it trained to bark on certain words?
34:52Certain words, yeah.
34:53He's, um, he's a little bit against a certain, uh, American president.
34:57Ah.
34:58Does it work if I say Donald Trump?
35:01Trump.
35:02Trump.
35:07All right, we'll have more last leg for you after the break as we meet England's deaf
35:11women's futsal team and celebrate their massive victory.
35:13We'll see you in a little bit.
35:26Welcome back to Last Leg.
35:28We're John Bachelet Church and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid.
35:31In disability news now, a woman by the name of Becky Coleman is hoping to become the first
35:35wheelchair user to row the Oxford and Cambridge boat race course in April.
35:39She's here with us tonight, so would you please welcome Becky Coleman.
35:52Now, Becky, let's first say you're wearing a mask because you really don't want to catch
35:56anything before the race.
35:57Is that right?
35:57Yep.
35:58Got to stay good for next week.
35:59So, uh, yeah.
36:00Awesome work.
36:01So, when did you start rowing?
36:03So, I started rowing just under a year ago, a couple of days before the Oxford and Cambridge
36:07boat race actually, last April.
36:10Right.
36:10And what changes have to be made to the boat?
36:12Yeah, so I row with a fixed seat, so I just row with my arms, and I also have stabilisers
36:18on the boat as well to add a bit of extra stability.
36:20And you're the first person to do this, so what's the plan for the future?
36:24Uh, possibly maybe do the head of the Charles in America at some point.
36:28Um, so, I know we've had a bit of a dig at the US this evening, but maybe, still welcome.
36:34Um, yeah, possibly that, and maybe write a book at some point as well, kind of my experience
36:38with sepsis, um, that I had a few years ago.
36:40So, yeah.
36:40And so, like, looking into your biog, you were also an elite triathlete and a top 40
36:45wheelchair tennis player, so can you stop making the rest of us look bad?
36:49Yeah.
36:49Yeah.
36:50Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
36:56We...
36:57We do have a little...
36:58We do have a little gift for you.
37:00We've got a little hands in a boat.
37:02Uh, hands was our little, uh, Paralympic mascot.
37:08Congratulations.
37:09There you go.
37:10Thanks a lot.
37:10No worries.
37:12Good luck.
37:12Give us a wave.
37:13We'll take hands with you.
37:14Good luck, Becky.
37:20Uh, Glenn said, is it okay that the women's England's deaf footballers are champions?
37:25Oh, yes, it fucking is.
37:27Uh, yes, England won the European Deaf Futsal Championship after their, uh, 2-0 win against
37:33Poland in the final over the weekend.
37:34Uh, here are some of the highlights.
37:37Uh, this is the first goal from Lucinda Lawson.
37:41Great finish.
37:42Great finish.
37:43Here are the scenes at the final whistle.
37:49And here's the trophy left.
37:56We are very excited to have them in the studio and they're just as excited to be here, so put
38:00your hands in the air like you really care for the European champions, the England Deaf
38:04Women's Futsal Team!
38:06Woo!
38:10Woo!
38:12Woo!
38:12Woo!
38:14Woo!
38:15Woo!
38:16Woo!
38:17Woo!
38:18Woo!
38:21Woo!
38:24Woo!
38:27Woo!
38:28Woo!
38:29Woo!
38:29Woo!
38:30Woo!
38:30Woo!
38:32So, congratulations to you all.
38:34Zara, the captain.
38:36Where's Zara?
38:36Zara, um, what changes are made to the rules of your game?
38:40Yeah, so it's an indoor five-a-side football style
38:44Obviously, that's the format without the walls. We play on a hard surface with a heavier ball
38:48And so it's a little bit different than football because we play indoors
38:52But in terms of the deaf futsal game, we obviously play without our hearing devices
38:57So everyone's on a level playing field and the referees are supposed to use flags instead of whistles
39:03Doesn't always work out that way, especially when you see a referee blowing a whistle and everyone's still running
39:10So Kate, what are the challenges of playing deaf futsal? Well, we can't hear
39:24That's the start and I think there's lots of different things that sort of play a part and
39:29So you you've constantly got to be aware of every single little thing around you all the time because as
39:35Zara said
39:36Sometimes you you keep running someone else has stopped and you end up clattering into each other sometimes
39:42So on on the court, that's one thing and then off the court
39:46We've actually got we've all got full-time jobs
39:50And then you've got Ellie with a full-time job and she's also a mum and Forrest came out to
39:56support us as well
39:56So there's lots of different challenges and Maisie
40:00How do you communicate with each other?
40:02Yeah, so when we get each other's attention we use BSL so every country will have their own sort of
40:06sign language
40:07And but to be honest the hardest part is that to get the person's attention in the first place
40:11And I think some people can pick up a bit of sounds you can yell at them and they will
40:15hear you
40:16Most of us it's frantic waving of hands trying to get people's attention
40:19Or if you're Ellie better, would you like to jump up and down and stomp your feet and still not
40:23get the person's attention?
40:24Yeah
40:25And Sophie you're 16
40:2717
40:2817, pardon me
40:30So were you calling home regularly?
40:34No
40:37I'd be fair probably call my friends more than I actually call my own mum
40:40Which I'm sorry mum but
40:43My friends are more important there
40:47Wow
40:47And look
40:49We want to end the show by singing football's coming home or futsal's coming home
40:53But we also want to sign it while we do it so Lucinda can you show us how to sign
40:57it's coming home futsal's coming home?
41:05It's coming home
41:07Does it have to be the right hand so let's let's try it's coming home. It's coming home
41:14It's coming
41:17Futsal's coming home. It's a very small house. I've got here
41:22It's a bungalow
41:28We're going to try and learn that over the break and put those skills to use at the end of
41:33the show
41:33We'll hold a sing-along and a sign-along for the England deaf women's futsal team
41:38It's coming home. It's coming home. It's coming
41:43Futsal's coming home. I think we've got it. We'll see you in a little bit
42:00Welcome back to Last Leg
42:01We're John Mo Salah Church and Nabil Abdul Rashid
42:05We're going to recap some news you might have missed this week
42:07Sharks swimming in the Bahamas have been found to have traces of cocaine in their blood
42:13Yeah, because sharks aren't cocky enough
42:17Although I reckon it would be easier to get away from a shark if before they bit you they had
42:21to tell you about crypto
42:24I imagine them so off their nut that in the water they're doing the jaws music themselves
42:32We're going to need a bigger mirror
42:33Why has my thing gone smaller?
42:36I think that would be called the grinding jaws music
42:39Along with the great white powder sharks were also found to have had caffeine in their system
42:44I know. I don't know if you've ever seen an over caffeinated shark who's also taking cocaine
42:48It's pretty much the same vibe as an estate agent's Christmas party
42:54Meanwhile a former Tory MP named Crispin Blunt was revealed this week to have been in possession of crystal meth
42:59Police also found cannabis, presumably for a joint, or as it's now known on the street, a Crispin Blunt
43:07He represented himself in court, which is never a good sign
43:10And said that he hosted drug-fuelled chemsex parties at his house
43:14In order to help inform government policy
43:17No, he didn't!
43:20What?!
43:20On my face!
43:22A man of the people!
43:24What?!
43:25What?!
43:26What?!
43:27What?!
43:28That's crazy!
43:29No, right?
43:31Do you know what?
43:31I was up till 3am last night working on policy
43:35I think you might enjoy prison
43:37By the way, Crispin Blunt
43:38Working on prison policy
43:40Crispin Blunt lost the party whip in 2023
43:43And the party handcuffs a year later
43:46A animal story tonight
43:48A squirrel was caught on film in London this week handling a vape in Brixton
43:52Brrrr
43:56Here is the startling footage
44:03There it is, squirrel with a vape
44:06I know, somewhere in the Caribbean there's a shark on cocaine going, eh, soft cock
44:13And finally, Ipswich Town Football Club were forced to release a statement this week after reform leader Nigel Farage
44:18Ooh!
44:23I couldn't help it
44:25Oh, fuck that guy
44:26I love that guy
44:27I know, you hated Ipswich
44:29I fucking
44:32Huge Norwich fan, Charlotte, you know?
44:35Nigel Farage posted these promotional photos of himself on a tour of the stadium with the phrase
44:39I've never been too bad on the right wing
44:41Fuck off
44:42Sorry
44:43The club pointed out it wasn't an official visit and that they do not support any political viewpoint
44:47Uh, yes
44:49Just reflect how embarrassed the Ipswich town
44:52The Ipswich fans are so embarrassed
44:54Like even more so than Arsenal fans
44:56And Bin Laden supported us
45:01Ipswich's rivals Norwich hit back with this cheeky post saying
45:04Book a stadium tour of Carrow Road
45:05Terms and conditions will most definitely apply
45:09Uh, alright, we're about to end the show by celebrating the England women's deaf futsal team winning the European Championships
45:14But before we do would you please thank our guests
45:16Charlotte Church
45:20And Nabeel Abdulrushin
45:24And my co-host Josh Whittakam
45:27And Alex Brocker
45:30We'll be back next week with comedian Josh Pugh, TV legend Lorraine Kelly and online sensation Steve Bracknell
45:35But right now it's time to celebrate the England women's
45:38And I'm, yeah, do you know what, I'm gonna put these on as well
45:41The England women's deaf futsal team
45:42Who last weekend won the European Championship
45:45Hit the music
45:55It's coming home
45:57It's coming home
45:58It's coming
46:00Futsal's coming home
46:02It's coming home
46:04It's coming home
46:06It's coming
46:07Futsal's coming home
46:10Here we go
46:12Everyone seems to know the score
46:16We've heard it all before
46:20But not them
46:22They were sure
46:24That England would just blow them away
46:28With a brilliant display
46:30Show them all how to play
46:32Cause they remembered
46:34Three lines on a shirt
46:38Everybody cheering
46:41It takes twice the work
46:44To win without your hearing
46:59It's coming
47:01It's coming home
47:04It's coming home
47:06It's coming
47:09It's coming
47:11It's coming
47:12It's coming
47:13It's coming
47:13Futsal's coming
47:15It's coming
47:15Thanks for watching
47:16The Last Leg
47:17My name's Adam Hills
47:18We'll see you next week
47:19For The Next Leg
47:20Yay!
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