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00:00Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:30Welcome to Last Week Tonight. I'm John Oliver.
00:32Thank you so much for joining us. It has been a busy week.
00:36There were no King's protests around the US and the world.
00:39Whatever this was happened.
00:41And the White House tweeted,
00:43America will never give up the moon again,
00:45which is definitely something I was worried about.
00:48Meanwhile, the Iran war entered its second month,
00:51though Trump tries not to use the word war
00:53for reasons he probably shouldn't be saying out loud.
00:55I won't use the word war, because they say,
00:57if you use the word war, that's maybe not a good thing to do.
01:01They don't like the word war,
01:03because you're supposed to get approval.
01:05So I'll use the word military operation,
01:07which is really what it is.
01:09What? He really just talks like a six-year-old
01:12speaking stream of consciousness to a stranger.
01:15And my mum says I'm not allowed to talk about my penis
01:17with other people, even though everybody has one.
01:20Well, not her and not my sister, but my dad and I both have penises,
01:23but I can't say that when there are too many people around,
01:26even though everyone knows because they have their own penises,
01:28unless they don't, but I do.
01:30But look, whatever you call this conflict,
01:32it has been chaos.
01:33Last Saturday, Trump threatened to attack Iran's power grid
01:35if the strait-off Hormuz wasn't opened,
01:37writing he'd be starting with the biggest power plant first,
01:40which would be a war crime if this was a war.
01:43But luckily, we now know it isn't.
01:46Then on Monday, he said he'd delay those strikes for five days
01:48after very good and productive conversations with Iran,
01:51discussions they've denied took place.
01:53He's since extended the deadline until April 6th,
01:55even as Iran's continued to bomb U.S. bases and allies
01:58across the region.
01:59Almost 2,000 Iranians have been killed,
02:01as of at least 13 U.S. service members.
02:03And Trump's reportedly weighing whether to move
02:06an additional 10,000 troops to the region.
02:08It sure feels like we're in an unnecessary war with no endgame,
02:12though the president's supporters will insist that if you just
02:14look at things in the right way, it all makes sense.
02:18Here's why we went in to Iran.
02:22We had no choice.
02:24The president didn't start a war.
02:27He was trying to stop a war.
02:30Oh, I get it.
02:32Sometimes you have to start a war to stop a war.
02:35The same way you have to spend money to make money,
02:38or fake it till you make it.
02:39You know, any of those things that people say
02:41when they're in way over their heads.
02:44And look, there'll clearly be more to say about Iran going forward.
02:47But for now, we're gonna dive straight in with our main story this week,
02:50which concerns Hungary.
02:51A country with over 1,000 years of rich history,
02:54a proud culture, and absolutely no chance of you finding it on this map.
02:58No chance whatsoever.
03:00No shame to Hungary, by the way.
03:02That is all on you.
03:04Hungary's given a lot to the world, from Bela Lugosi,
03:07to the Rubik's Cube, to, of course, the game Hungry Hungry Hippos.
03:10Yeah, that second Hungary has an A in it.
03:13Always did.
03:14Wild, huh?
03:15It's also brought us one of the Internet's greatest ever memes.
03:19András, a retired electric engineer,
03:22was asked to be a model for stock photos 10 years ago.
03:25The Internet discovered them, and decided that his smile hides a deep sorrow.
03:30He became Hide the Pain Harold.
03:32A flurry of memes followed,
03:35and András found that his face was a laughing stock of the Internet.
03:38If I wanted to draw a lesson from what happened to me,
03:41I would say life throws all kinds of challenges at you.
03:45You have to take it as it comes.
03:47Try out as many things as possible.
03:49And who knows, you might even become a meme.
03:53OK, Harold, but I'm not sure you might become a meme is quite as aspirational as you think.
03:59Though, to be fair, putting on a brave smile despite inner regret is kind of this guy's whole thing.
04:05He brings that hide the pain energy to all his stock photos, whether he's answering the phone,
04:10whisking eggs, painting a wall, reading a patient's x-ray, or riding an exercise bike.
04:16Even when he is Santa, and his face is covered by a hat and a beard,
04:20Harold's eyes still manage to hide the pain.
04:22Look at that and tell me that Santa didn't just accidentally run over an elf and hastily hide the body.
04:27Now, the reason I want to talk about Hungary is it's set for elections on April 12th.
04:32Voters there will choose a new National Assembly, their Parliament,
04:34which in turn will mean either a new Prime Minister,
04:37or the re-election of their current one, Viktor Orbán.
04:40He's been in office since 2010 with an absolute majority in Hungary's government
04:44for the entire 16 years of his tenure.
04:46He's actually the longest-serving current head of government in the EU.
04:51And if you want a quick taste of what kind of leader Orbán's been,
04:54take this testimonial video that he posted featuring a real who's who of
04:58people I've called arseholes on this show,
05:01including Netanyahu, Marine Le Pen, Javier Millet, and a fourth person
05:05that I'll let you discover for yourself.
05:07Security cannot be taken for granted.
05:10It must be one, and I think Viktor Orbán has all those qualities.
05:14He has the tenacity, the courage, the wisdom to protect his country.
05:19It is thanks to leaders like Viktor that the camp of patriots,
05:22defenders of nations, and sovereign people is winning in Europe.
05:26I fervently support Prime Minister Orbán and the Fidesz party.
05:30And I want to congratulate him, and also to encourage all Hungarians
05:35to continue to move forward to protect your great culture and your amazing country.
05:40Yeah, it's none other than Academy Award-watching actor Rob Schneider.
05:44And that is a pretty weird cameo there.
05:47It's like if the Avengers movie stars three Avengers and also Rob Schneider.
05:52But it's not just those celebrities and also Rob Schneider.
05:55Orbán has a close relationship with many conservatives in this country.
05:59He's not only been invited to speak at CPAC, CPAC itself has been holding
06:03a satellite conference in Hungary for the past few years,
06:06where numerous U.S. conservatives have shown up arguing that America
06:09really should be taking a lesson from Orbán's work.
06:12There are many conservative members of Congress who, like me,
06:16want to see Hungary as a beacon in the West.
06:19Hungary's immigration policy should serve as a model to the United States.
06:23One place where Hungary clearly has led Europe is in reasserting its national identity,
06:28specifically with regard to rejecting mass migration.
06:30Little did I know I would walk into Budapest
06:33and basically see all of the policies that we dream for in Arizona.
06:39Okay, well first, based on that blouse,
06:41I don't think Carrie Lake came from Arizona as much as from 1987.
06:45But also, if you love Budapest so much, please know that you can and should go live there.
06:51The point is, Republicans love Viktor Orban.
06:55He's even been officially endorsed in this upcoming election by Trump,
06:59who once praised him like this.
07:01You know, I was very honoured as a man.
07:03Viktor Orban, did anyone ever hear of him?
07:06He's probably, like, one of the strongest leaders anywhere in the world.
07:10And he, uh, he's the leader of, right? He's the leader of Turkey.
07:14No, no, no, he isn't.
07:17Close, though. You are thinking of the right planets, though.
07:20So, in Trump's defense, Hungary and Turkey are both in the same region,
07:24both ruled by an authoritarian, and both words that a caveman would say
07:27while ordering a sandwich, so you can see why his brain went there.
07:31And the lovefest between Orban and American conservatives is a two-way street.
07:36In fact, just last Saturday, he spoke at the latest CPAC Hungary
07:39and outlined exactly how he sees himself fitting in to a global conservative movement.
07:46Since President Trump's win, the Western world has become a better place.
07:52Gender propaganda and woke ideology have been pushed back.
07:57People can proudly embrace Christianity as the foundation and sustaining force of our civilization.
08:03What's happening now is the largest political realignment in Western civilization in a hundred years.
08:10The epicenter of this change is the United States, and its European forward base is Hungary.
08:15Wow, there is a lot there, but citing the West's largest political realignment in a hundred years
08:21is pretty striking given, you know, what started happening in Europe around a hundred years ago.
08:28That's right, Winnie the Pooh was first published.
08:31I don't know what you were thinking about.
08:33But you should know, things in Hungary aren't actually going great.
08:37On Orban's watch, it's become one of the poorest countries in the EU.
08:40So it's frankly no surprise that in recent years, there have been plenty of protests
08:44against Orban's government, like this one.
08:47Is there a change?
08:50The frickin' dirty pittets party.
08:53What's up with the zebra? What does the zebra symbolize?
08:57According to the rumors, Orban has an estate in the countryside
09:01where zebras were spotted.
09:03The sign back there, that's kind of the center of this, says Hungary is a dictatorship.
09:11And then I'm being told O1G means Orban is a sperm.
09:18Orban is a sperm.
09:19Yeah, Orban is a sperm.
09:22Which I assume is an insult and does just mean that he tastes slightly better
09:26when you eat pineapple.
09:27Also, that rumor about zebras being spotted is amazing if true,
09:32as all the zebras I've ever seen have been striped.
09:35Boom!
09:36Yeah!
09:36Boom, boom! I got that guy so good!
09:39This show is your only source for animal puns and jokes about drinking semen in, frankly, too rapid succession.
09:47Orban's Fidesz party has actually been trailing by double digits in most polls ahead of this election.
09:52But they may well still win anyway for reasons that we'll get into later.
09:57So, given Hungary's election is just around the corner and just how invested in Orban conservatives here clearly are,
10:03we thought tonight it might be worth taking a look at Viktor Orban.
10:07And let's start with a little history.
10:08And I'll skip past the stuff that we all learned in school about Hungary, like how it, say it with
10:12me,
10:13was part of the Soviet bloc for much of the 20th century, where it operated under a communist dictatorship.
10:21Exactly, we're all on the same page thanks to America's famously thorough and globally curious education system.
10:29But when the communist bloc began to crumble, Orban was in the right place at the right time.
10:34Here he is in 1989 as a 26-year-old, calling for the withdrawal of Soviet troops and free Hungarian
10:39elections.
10:39And while I am no fan of Orban's later work, I will admit, he was a late 80s snack.
10:45He's like Mel Gibson there, he's got the hair, the intensity, and the looming sense that things will eventually take
10:51a dark turn.
10:53Now, after the fall of Soviet communism, Orban took part in talks that eventually led to Hungary's democracy.
10:58And at the time, he and Fidesz were actually a relatively liberal youth movement.
11:02In fact, early on, only people under 35 could even join the party.
11:06Just look at one of their early 90s campaign ads.
11:19Here and something different.
11:23A blank slate.
11:27A new democracy.
11:31A new Hungary.
11:36Vote for Fidesz.
11:38Kirai.
11:39That ad has got everything 90s kids loved.
11:44There were maps, an orange, dominoes, and a bunch of guys who look like they're running for the president of
11:48a college radio station.
11:50There was Viktor Orban, Hungarian Anthony Michael Hall, a steakhouse waiter on his smoke break, and of course, Virgin John
11:57Mayer.
11:58Back then, Fidesz campaigned on adopting Western European economic and political standards and limiting the role of the state and
12:05the influence of religion on public life.
12:07But, after Orban was elected to parliament in 1990, he started moving the party to the right.
12:12He eventually became Europe's youngest prime minister in 1998, only to lose after just one term.
12:18And in his years out of power, he continued moving to the right, amping up nationalist populist rhetoric and starting
12:25to wrap himself in religion.
12:26And as he tells it now, he developed a pretty stark philosophy.
12:30In order to win,
12:32it is not enough to know what you are fighting for.
12:37You also have to know
12:39how you should fight.
12:41In fact, my answer is play by your own rules.
12:46Now, on the surface, play by your own rules is a pretty banal sentiment.
12:51It's the live, laugh, love for people who haven't been divorced yet.
12:54But, Hungary soon found out what he meant by that in a political sense.
12:59Because in 2010, after the global financial crisis and the scandal in Hungary's ruling party,
13:03Orban was swept back into power with a two-thirds supermajority
13:07and immediately began tampering with the rules to make sure he never lost again.
13:11As he put it,
13:12we have to win once, but then win big.
13:15Essentially meaning, if he ever gained power, he'd use it to fortify his position indefinitely.
13:20And we only have to win once is one of the more ominous things to hear from a leader.
13:25It's right up there along with, trust me, you're gonna love the Kool-Aid.
13:29Open the gates, Papa gotta get a closer look at that big old horse.
13:32And no smoking, what is this? A blimp for dorks? Pass me my lighter.
13:37Sure enough, once back in power, Orban moved swiftly to solidify control.
13:41In his first year in office, his government rushed through hundreds of new laws
13:44and ushered through a brand new constitution that was drafted behind closed doors
13:48and debated in Parliament for only nine days.
13:51There were also big changes to Hungary's election system, including gerrymandering maps
13:55to stack the odds heavily in Orban's favor.
13:57As a result, in 2014, his party won 45% of the vote, but 91% of the districts.
14:04In fact, thanks to that and other tweaks, independent observers have deemed
14:07Hungarian elections since then free but not fair, which is an interesting combination.
14:12You are free to vote for anyone you want, whether it's Orban or whoever inevitably loses to him.
14:19And while changes like those could theoretically have faced legal challenges,
14:23Orban's also co-opted Hungary's court system, packing it with loyalists
14:27and passing a constitutional amendment that removed the court's power to evaluate
14:30any new constitutional amendments.
14:32And when he's taking all of that together, as this scholar points out,
14:36it was basically a coup, but a very 21st century one.
14:40We tend to think of a coup, right, as happening with tanks in the streets,
14:45you know, and the military takeover and the announcement on radio that,
14:49you know, all civil liberties have died.
14:52That's not what autocracy looks like anymore.
14:55You don't get, you don't get phalanxes of tanks.
14:58You get phalanxes of lawyers.
15:00That is chilling, because if there is one thing that is scarier than a tank,
15:04it is a lawyer. Believe me, we have a bunch of them for this show
15:09and they are constantly yelling things like,
15:11John, you can't do this, or John, you can't show that,
15:13or John, you can't say with no evidence that Millie Bobby Brown
15:16helped plan the 9-11 attacks. That's defamation, and we will get sued.
15:20So reluctantly, I don't say it. Though I will say she hasn't denied it.
15:24We admittedly haven't asked, but her silence says something.
15:28But it's not just Orban's control of government.
15:31Part of the way he's won over the Hungarian public
15:33is through his control of the media.
15:34After returning to power, his government created a new agency
15:37to impose heavy fines for coverage that it considered
15:39unbalanced or offensive,
15:41as well as founding a new state media organization called MTVA,
15:45overseeing all public media across TV, radio, and the internet.
15:50Listen to one anonymous employee there,
15:52explain just how much editorial control Orban has.
15:56Every single thing connected to domestic politics is, um, restricted.
16:01I mean, you can't write anything bad about the government.
16:05Uh, for example, if something, uh, is politically sensitive,
16:10I, I get instructions.
16:13In, in, in some cases, I have the whole ready-made article,
16:17so I don't need to do anything, no editing, just control C,
16:20copy and paste the whole article, really.
16:23Um, it's unimaginable, to be honest.
16:26Yeah, those conditions clearly aren't ideal for a news outlet.
16:31There is a reason they typically don't give out the Pulitzer
16:33for excellence in control V.
16:36A study of one public TV nightly news show
16:38found that over six months, there wasn't a single instance
16:41of governing party politicians appearing on screen in a negative light.
16:44Literally zero seconds of negative coverage,
16:48which just should not be possible.
16:50Politicians attract negative coverage about everything they do,
16:53whether it's about their offensive fashion faux pas,
16:56or their court-ordered liability for sexual abuse,
16:58to pick two equivalent examples.
17:01And Orban's reach goes well beyond state media,
17:04as his allies brought up tons of private, independent outlets,
17:06and then centralized many of them under a single foundation.
17:10According to the investigative journalism outlet Adlatso,
17:14since 2010, allies of the Prime Minister
17:16have been buying up numerous Hungarian media outlets.
17:19Men like former Hollywood producer Andy Viner
17:22and old-school friend Laurence Meserosh
17:25are among a group of 14 Orban allies
17:28who've collectively bought 11 radio stations,
17:3120 television channels,
17:32and close to 500 online and print organizations.
17:36Wow, a far-right leader's friends and allies
17:38just buying up all the media outlets in the country
17:41and turning them into conservative sycophants?
17:43Can you imagine that?
17:44I sure can't.
17:46That's definitely not something I've had recurring nightmares about
17:49for the past month.
17:51And the result of all this has been
17:53Orban's party currently controls roughly 80% of the media market.
17:58And this level of influence over laws, courts, elections,
18:01and the media has allowed Orban to reshape Hungary virtually unchecked.
18:05On the international level, that's meant being a constant thorn in the EU side,
18:08especially when it comes to dealing with Russia.
18:11Orban's consistently had the friendliest ties to the Kremlin
18:13in the European Union. In fact, he's long weaponized
18:16Hungary's veto power at the EU to block Russia-related sanctions,
18:20tie up financial aid to Ukraine,
18:22and repeatedly stall urgent EU decisions.
18:24And it says something that even a decade ago,
18:27this is how the then president of the European Commission
18:29greeted Orban at a summit.
18:31The dictator is coming.
18:36Dictator?
18:41It's pretty good.
18:42It's pretty good.
18:43And while I do not condone violence,
18:45there are a few scenarios where I think it's fine to slap something.
18:50When you're trying to revive them,
18:51when you are Cher and you really need Nick Cage to snap out of it,
18:55and of course, whenever you have the chance
18:57to hit an authoritarian in the face.
19:00Meanwhile, domestically, Orban's reshaped Hungary
19:03into what's basically a theme park of reactionary talking points.
19:06For instance, he's railed against Europe becoming a mixed-race society
19:09and opposes allowing asylum seekers into Hungary,
19:11despite EU and international laws.
19:14During the migrant and refugee crisis a decade ago,
19:17Hungary was accused of unlawful detention and violence
19:19against asylum seekers.
19:20And he made a big show back then of being openly hostile toward them,
19:25even going so far as to build an electrified border fence,
19:28which inevitably got this rave review from Tucker Carlson.
19:32Hungary began building the fence in June of 2015.
19:35By September, it was done.
19:37Well, they're serious about their border, though.
19:39It's not a high-tech border wall.
19:41It's a double fence with a road in the middle.
19:44But the difference is they're willing to protect it.
19:46They're not kidding. It's their border.
19:47They control it because they're a country.
19:50It's also really pretty.
19:52Pretty?
19:53Look, there are three things you can rely on in this life.
19:56Death, taxes, and if you build a fence
19:58to keep out immigrants, Tucker Carlson is going to want to fuck it.
20:01Although, if he really does want to kiss some electrified barbed wire,
20:05who am I to stop him?
20:07Love is love.
20:09But even as migration to Europe has declined,
20:12Orban has continued to fear-monger about how, if it weren't for him,
20:15Hungary might be forced to accept millions of refugees,
20:18who he has falsely characterized as disease-ridden threats to public health,
20:22extremists planning terrorist acts,
20:24and agents of a plot to replace native Europeans with foreigners,
20:27all while reaching for a now-familiar scapegoat,
20:30suggesting George Soros was masterminding a nefarious plan
20:33to overrun Hungary with refugees,
20:35and posting billboards and full-page media ads with the caption,
20:39Don't let Soros have the last laugh.
20:41And it wasn't just billboards.
20:43Orban's government also passed a law officially called Stop Soros
20:46that made it illegal to help asylum seekers,
20:49even just with their paperwork,
20:51and led a campaign to shut down the Hungarian University that Soros founded.
20:55Though, what is a little strange about Orban's anti-Soros vendetta
20:59is that back in 1989, he actually received a Soros-funded scholarship
21:03to study at Oxford University, where I presume he majored in irony.
21:08But immigrants at Soros aren't Orban's only punching bags.
21:12His government's also gone after Hungary's LGBTQ community,
21:15something that he bragged about at CPAC.
21:17To sum up, the mother is a woman, the father is a man,
21:23and leave our kids alone.
21:25Full stop, end of discussion.
21:27We decided we don't need more genders, we need more rangers.
21:32Less drag queens and more Chuck Norris.
21:36What?
21:37That doesn't make any sense.
21:39The number of genders has nothing to do with the number of rangers,
21:43and the number of drag queens has nothing to do with the number of Chuck Norrises,
21:46especially because the most Chuck Norrises you can have is one,
21:50and that number went down to zero last week.
21:53And if this is how you are finding that out, surprise!
21:57But it's not just rhetoric.
21:59Orban's government officially redefined family,
22:02which meant an effective ban on adoption by same-sex couples,
22:05and banned trans people from changing their gender on their IDs.
22:08In 2021, Hungary even passed a law banning depicting or promoting LGBT plus content
22:14in schools and the media, and if that sounds at all familiar to you,
22:18it may be because just nine months after that,
22:20Flora's Ron DeSantis signed his version of it, focused on classroom instruction,
22:24the so-called don't-say-gay law.
22:26But perhaps the policy that sums up Orban's obsessions the best,
22:30from Christian conservatism to panic over migrants,
22:32is his relentless focus on Hungary's low birth rate.
22:36He's tried to increase it by introducing incentives like tax exemptions
22:39and interest-free loans of about $30,000 for parents,
22:43which then get cancelled if they have three children.
22:46And that's a pretty good deal, but does make giving kids the talk a little more complicated.
22:51Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much,
22:55but also get a sick, low-interest loan from the Hungarian government,
22:58that's how babies are made.
23:01Orban's framed the need for Hungarians to procreate as an existential crisis,
23:06because to hear him tell it in this ad that his government posted,
23:09the alternative is for the country to be overrun by migrants.
23:13That's why it's an extraordinary national crisis,
23:15that you can do fish with fish with fish, but not fish with fish with fish with fish.
23:19And if you put the migrants together, and you put them together,
23:23and many children are born here than the children,
23:26it's just a question of time, a mathematical question,
23:28and they take care of your country.
23:31Okay, obviously that's yet more great replacement fear-mongering,
23:34but as for you can make fish soup from fish,
23:37but you can't make fish from fish soup?
23:39Is that folk wisdom?
23:41Or is that just how soup works?
23:44I'm just saying, if your nana pointed at a bowl of soup and said,
23:47you can't make fish out of that,
23:49you'd be looking at retirement home brochures that afternoon.
23:52Also, for what it's worth, that metaphor cuts both ways,
23:56because I've found, with fish soup as with countries,
23:58when you add more ingredients, it tends to taste better.
24:02Otherwise, what you have is hot fish water.
24:05But Orbán is serious about this.
24:08He spent about 5% of Hungary's GDP
24:11on programs incentivizing families to have kids,
24:14but it hasn't worked.
24:16Hungary's fertility rate recently dipped to the lowest in a decade,
24:19and their population is still shrinking.
24:21And that might be because people just don't feel optimistic
24:24about raising kids in Orbán's Hungary,
24:26a place where two-thirds of the citizens
24:28describe the national education system as bad,
24:30or where even the Conservative Heritage Foundation
24:32has put his government at the bottom of the EU
24:35in its rankings of government integrity.
24:37And that is the thing about Viktor Orbán.
24:40For all the fear-mongering he's done, all the fences he's built,
24:43and all the laws he's passed to protect Hungary
24:45from the threat of migrants, gays, and George Soros,
24:48he's fundamentally failed when it comes to the basics of good governance.
24:53Funding for school and hospitals there has gotten so dire,
24:55he had to sign an executive order to ensure medical facilities
24:58were stocked with toilet paper.
25:00Although, to hear his health secretary tell it,
25:02any complaints the people had about that
25:04were completely unreasonable.
25:07In an operation as big as the Hungarian hospital system,
25:10which is 3 million square meters
25:12and has tens of thousands of people visiting every day,
25:15I consider it a mathematical impossibility
25:17that there should be toilet paper in all hospital bathrooms at all times.
25:21To this day, I maintain that this is a mathematical impossibility.
25:25Look, I have heard some bad talking points in the past,
25:30but it's mathematically impossible
25:32for our hospitals to have toilet paper is right up there.
25:36I'm really only surprised that he didn't go on to suggest
25:38hospitals just hang a sign in every bathroom,
25:40reminding people that using their socks is always an option.
25:44And it is not a great sign for Orbán
25:46that some of his heaviest-handed tactics
25:48now do seem to be backfiring.
25:50Take this story from last summer.
25:51Viktor Orbán's government banned LGBTQ public gatherings in March,
25:57including this one.
25:59But that ban only seems to have galvanized countless Hungarians.
26:03They took part in the parade,
26:05despite the risk of being identified by the authorities
26:08using facial recognition software.
26:11I object to any restriction of rights.
26:14Everyone should be free to choose a partner.
26:16And I condemn any restrictions
26:18that crush freedom of assembly and other freedoms.
26:20And that's why I'm here.
26:22I thought the government would make it impossible for this to happen
26:25and that there wouldn't be many people.
26:26It's a fantastic feeling that it's a much bigger crowd than ever before.
26:29Yeah, that is amazing.
26:31And a pretty colossal backfire from Orbán.
26:34After all, if the Rob Schneider movie The Chosen One taught us anything,
26:38it's the harder you try to oppress people through fear,
26:40the more they'll rise up against you.
26:42Now, full disclosure, I don't know if that's really the moral of that film.
26:47Like everyone else on Earth, I haven't seen it.
26:49But what are you gonna do? Watch it yourself to fact-check me?
26:53No fucking way!
26:55So, let's just say that's the message of the film and move on, shall we?
27:00So, what happens next?
27:02Well, despite the increasing opposition to Orbán in Hungary,
27:05the truth is, in this election, the playing field is still tilted strongly in his favor.
27:10And even if he somehow ends up losing the game that he's carefully rigged,
27:14it's worth knowing his main opponent, Peter Magyar,
27:17isn't exactly the reformer that you would dream of here.
27:20He's a former member of Fidesz who's railed against Orbán's corruption
27:23but still shares plenty of his right-leaning views.
27:26And even some Hungarians who say they plan to vote for him
27:29don't seem thrilled about it.
27:31I think more and more people want change.
27:33Mr. Magyar, he used to be a member of Fidesz.
27:36Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:37Do you worry that he might be too similar?
27:39Four years later, we will see.
27:43To be honest, if there would be a good left-wing party,
27:47I would vote for them, but there is not, so I will vote for Magyar Peter.
27:51Mm-hmm.
27:52So he's not completely on your level when it comes to everything?
27:56It's not my taste, exactly.
27:57Yeah, he's clearly not thrilled about voting for Magyar,
28:01but he's willing to push that discomfort down
28:02and put on a happy face anyway.
28:04If only there were a Hungarian meme
28:06to capture that sentiment perfectly, I guess...
28:10I guess we'll never know.
28:11But the thing is, regardless of what happens on April 12th,
28:15Orbán's stranglehold on power should be alarming for us here in the States.
28:19Because he has clearly been an inspiration to American Conservatives,
28:23to the point that J.D. Vance is apparently planning to visit Hungary
28:26to show support for Orbán ahead of their election.
28:29And that is because for them, Orbán is not a cautionary tale.
28:33He is a blueprint.
28:35To put it another way, if Orbán is a sperm,
28:37think of Trump as the baby, the sperm,
28:40in fact, you know what, forget that, it's a disgusting image.
28:42Let's reset and try again.
28:44Look, it's not just me sounding the alarm here.
28:47People like this Hungarian politician have been trying to warn us for a while.
28:50You must be familiar with the fact that there are many U.S. Conservatives
28:53coming here to learn from Orbán's style of governance.
28:58Why do you think that is?
28:59I don't know why that is, but I know that it's dangerous.
29:02You should take care of your democracy, because fortunately enough,
29:05you have your checks and balances.
29:07If somebody is able to switch them off, you would also slide down.
29:11This is what happened to Hungary, and I really hope that your system,
29:14the 200-year-old American democracy, which I admire,
29:17is strong enough to withstand any such threat.
29:20Yeah, he's right. The fact is, we are lucky
29:23to have the checks and balances that we do, but we would do well to watch
29:27for warning signs of what happened in Hungary starting to happen here.
29:31You know, small things like, I don't know, stacking the courts,
29:34or shameless gerrymandering, or fear-mongering about immigrants,
29:37or presidential allies buying up the media.
29:40You know, anything you might spot like that.
29:43And look, it is not a perfect one-to-one.
29:45Orbán's takeover was organized and methodical,
29:47while Trump has the attention span of a coked-up hummingbird
29:49with a head injury, but they're not worlds apart either.
29:53And I'll say, if the right is looking to Orbán as a model,
29:56the rest of us could do a lot worse than to look to those Hungarians
30:00in the streets for inspiration.
30:01Because to everyone who's ever fought for American democracy,
30:06failing to resist authoritarianism would be a huge slap in the face.
30:10And unfortunately, not the undeniably fun kind.
30:14And now, this.
30:15And now, some disgusting new ballpark food for baseball's opening day.
30:22The Miami Marlins are serving up the machete.
30:25It's a two-foot-wide tortilla with melted mozzarella, Oaxaca cheese,
30:30carne asada, salsa verde, and cilantro.
30:33Yum!
30:34The Schwarbaum Sundae Funnel Cake Fried Strawberry Uncrustable
30:40covered in fruity cereal and served with ice cream.
30:42This is our double-diamond waffle fry with cheese sauce,
30:46lardons of bacon, mushroom, beef short ribs braised in red wine,
30:50fontina cheese, and some crispy onions.
30:52The behemoth bat flip.
30:54Two pounds of meat and onions and egg and holy moly.
30:57I don't know how you're gonna eat it, but I challenge you.
31:00Crab, bacon cheese, hot dog.
31:03The monster burger topped with entire Vienna sausages.
31:07Nachos on a stick.
31:08Barbecue brisket on a mac and cheese waffle.
31:10A chow mein burrito.
31:12Hempler's jalapeno cheddar bowl.
31:14It's got Hempler's jalapeno cheddar sausage bites
31:17with sauteed peppers and onions on dirty Cajun rice.
31:21It's topped with Cajun cream sauce.
31:23You can't tell me if you get that.
31:25You're gonna be able to stay in your seat for nine innings.
31:30You can't.
31:31You're gonna make it two innings and you're gonna be like,
31:32I'll see you in an hour.
31:36Moving on.
31:37Before we go, a quick word about branding.
31:39In Trump's second term, he's continued his famous love
31:42of slapping his name and face on things.
31:44Just this week, we learned he'd be the first ever sitting president
31:46to put his signature on our currency.
31:48And that is just the latest thing he's awkwardly added himself to.
31:51From the Donald J. Trump United States Institute of Peace, which is bold,
31:56to the Kennedy Center, which is now called the Donald J. Trump
32:00and the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts, to even this.
32:04The annual National Parks Pass is getting a new look.
32:08As you can see, the America The Beautiful card features a photo of President Donald Trump
32:12near an image of George Washington.
32:14Well, that is not ideal.
32:16You don't expect a National Parks Pass to feature spooky live-action Statler and Waldorf here.
32:21And look, I get what they're going for by showcasing America's first and final presidents together.
32:27But Trump making himself and famed Cherry Tree enemy George Washington
32:31saying the faces of our national parks is weird for a number of reasons.
32:35First, Trump seems to hate them.
32:37He's made steep cuts to the park service, which has now lost 24% of its permanent employees.
32:42But also, the passes have previously focused on the natural beauty of the parks,
32:46like this one featuring an image of a redwood forest.
32:49This one featuring a frog with bedroom eyes.
32:51And this one featuring a roseate spoonbill,
32:54a bird that always looks like a regular duck attending the Met Gala.
32:58The point is, the parks' passes were about the parks.
33:02And there's actually a lawsuit right now arguing that Trump's face can't be on there,
33:06as federal law requires the main America The Beautiful pass
33:08to feature the winning photo of the National Parks Foundation's annual public lands photo contest.
33:13That is an argument seemingly backed up by the announcement of last year's winner,
33:18which says this photo by Akshay Joshi will be featured on the 2026 America The Beautiful annual pass.
33:23And does not go on to say, unless, that is,
33:26the president feels like replacing it with a shot of him getting a prostate exam from George Washington.
33:31Now, now, the winning photo is on the more expensive pass for international visitors,
33:37but the cheaper one for US residents now has Trump slapped on it.
33:40And while that winning photo is clearly better, if you'll just permit a quick digression here,
33:45if you look at the runners-up from that contest, I'd argue they both got robbed,
33:50because second place went to this iconic big bird, bonking little bird,
33:54and third place was this absolute masterpiece.
33:58A bear moments after the photographer said,
34:01now let's take a silly one.
34:03But obviously, any of these three will be a better choice for a pass
34:07than this image that looks like you asked AI,
34:10what would Ebenezer Scrooge look like today?
34:12And it's not just me who thinks that.
34:14People buying these passes have sometimes been unpleasantly surprised,
34:17like this motorcyclist who filmed himself buying a pass at an entrance booth,
34:21and then showed his real-time reaction.
34:23Last year, when I bought a park pass,
34:24there was like a cool picture of like a lizard or something on it.
34:27So I bought this one and I'm all like,
34:29oh, this could be my park pass for the year.
34:31I wonder what cool picture is on it.
34:33And it's fucking George Washington and fucking lizard.
34:39Oh, man, you know, no love or hate towards anyone specifically,
34:44but I just thought this was funny.
34:46Like, man, you know, I would have preferred like a cool scenic nature animal or something.
34:54But this is funny too.
34:57Excellent.
34:57And kudos to that guy for rolling with what had to be a disappointment.
35:01You think you're gonna see a cool lizard only to get Trump instead?
35:05That sucks in any context.
35:06If your friend said, hey, come to the garage,
35:09I trapped a cool lizard under a bucket,
35:11but it turned out to be Donald Trump instead?
35:14Oh, man.
35:16Oh, man.
35:19I was really looking forward to that lizard.
35:23And it seems there are plenty of park regulars
35:26annoyed at having to carry around his face in their pocket,
35:29because some have even come up with ways to cover it up, like this woman.
35:32I really just want to embrace what people are already expressing
35:37everywhere, that they want to see nature on their National Parks Pass.
35:42Jenny created stickers out of some of her paintings.
35:44There's a grizzly bear sitting here looking at Denali.
35:47The stickers are the dimensions of the America, the beautiful pass.
35:50The back has different segments that come off,
35:53so it's broken up into segments so they could leave.
35:56And they're designed to be peeled off in different ways.
35:58So that when it's adhered to the front of the pass,
36:01you could flip that up and show the diamond underneath.
36:04Yeah, it's pretty clever.
36:05Sometimes you've got to get imaginative when you're trying
36:07to cover something up or make it more palatable.
36:10For her, it was stickers.
36:11And for the producers of snakes on a plane,
36:13it was having Samuel L. Jackson retake his lines
36:15for a clean version like this.
36:17I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes
36:20on this Monday to Friday plane.
36:22Yeah, it's... it's pretty monkey-fighting smart.
36:26Now, possibly in response to people putting stickers
36:29on their passes like that, the Department of Interior
36:32suddenly updated their rules, explicitly flagging stickers
36:35and other coverings as alterations that could invalidate the pass.
36:38Though interestingly, stickers have never caused an issue before,
36:42with one park worker saying, I've personally accepted passes
36:45that people put stickers on because they just like stickers
36:48and it's never been a problem, which seems fair to me.
36:52Other designers are now selling non-sticker-based solutions
36:54like this sleeve that, what do you know, turns out to fit
36:58just perfectly over the card.
37:01These sleeves are apparently selling pretty well on Etsy
37:04and getting reviews like, this is perfect to obscure that face
37:07I do not need to see.
37:09And look, there is something inspiring about seeing people find a way
37:11to enjoy their experience at national parks without having to look
37:14at the guy who's actively trying to ruin them.
37:16And if you want to, you can still buy any of the things
37:19that I've shown you tonight, but if, for whatever reason,
37:20you want to adorn your past even further,
37:23perhaps we can help here.
37:24Because we've designed some stickers that you can download for free
37:27that can cover up either Trump's face or the entire image.
37:31First, we've contacted the photographer who took that excellent bear photo
37:34and they have very kindly let us turn it into a sticker,
37:37which honestly works pretty well on that box.
37:41Now, if you want to respect this year's presidential theme
37:46but would like a different president to do that,
37:48we've made stickers of all our wax presidents' faces
37:50and I've got to say, Jimmy Carter's in particular looks great on there.
37:54If you want some wildlife, you can print out a sticker of Mr. Nutter Butter
37:57or if you, like that motorcyclist, would prefer a cool lizard,
38:01why not try a sticker of one of our earliest mascots,
38:03the Russian space gecko. Again, they each fit pretty nicely on the pass.
38:08Finally, if you would prefer a vista to cover the whole image,
38:11how about this one from when we sent our mascot, Marshmallow,
38:14the polar bear with a broken penis to Alaska,
38:16to bet on an ice-melting contest or, of course,
38:19this gorgeous rendering of what two wild animals get up to
38:23when you simply allow nature to thrive.
38:26I would argue it's the perfect image to hold your rights
38:30to visit all America's national parks for the next 12 months.
38:33All of these stickers to cover Trump's face
38:35are available for you at JohnOliverGivesTrumpHead.com.
38:39Actually, wait, hold on, no, no, no, no, no.
38:41I don't, I do not like the way that sounds.
38:43It feels wrong to me because we're giving up multiple heads, aren't we?
38:46So it should be JohnOliverGivesTrumpHeads.com.
38:50That is much better. That is our show.
38:51Thank you so much for watching.
38:53We're on for the next couple of weeks.
38:55Back on April 19th. Good night.
39:04Thank you so much.
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