Sniper 2026 Action War movie #SniperNoNation #SniperMovie #Sniper12 #ChadMichaelCollins #TomBerenger #RyanRobbins #JoshBrener #ManuelRodriguezSaenz #TrevorCalverley #SeanWathen #SonyPictures #GlobalResponseIntelligenceTeam #BrandonBeckett #ThomasBeckett #
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:12I can't tell I'm hurting inside, I've got a smile that disguises me when the world becomes empty without you.
00:00:19I couldn't tell enough to live, I've found a flower, but broken with all the dreams and the moments that
00:00:25we've shared.
00:00:26All I've ever told are letters are lies, I close my eyes for a second, can book a wishing well
00:00:31done in the world.
00:00:32Too close to believe I'm alive, I've lost my soul to your eyes, I've lost my soul to your life,
00:00:38I'm not wrong.
00:00:47It's a surprise, Kate, all right, please just play along.
00:00:51I'm tired, I want to go home.
00:00:54Hey, listen, please, all right, we're almost there.
00:00:57Just tell me you're not lost, Nate.
00:01:00Look, we're not lost.
00:01:02My iPhone is a voice-activated Google map.
00:01:06Right.
00:01:06Yes, please, don't worry.
00:01:11God, this is so lame, I just don't understand why we're doing this again.
00:01:17Please, all right, it's going to be so good, you're going to be so happy.
00:01:20Watch.
00:01:22Hey, no peeking.
00:01:23Oh, God, Nate.
00:01:26Just tell me you're not lost again.
00:01:29We're not lost.
00:01:31I swear, if this is to some comic book movie again, I don't know what I'm going to do.
00:01:35I swear to God.
00:01:37I don't want to spend another $20 of my hard-earned money on one of those things.
00:01:42Can you please just trust me for once, all right?
00:01:45You're going to ruin my surprise.
00:01:46I mean, why can't we just go out dancing or try something new for a change?
00:01:50Why is it always the same thing with you?
00:01:52I mean, I don't know if I can be with somebody who doesn't have some sense of danger or spontaneity.
00:01:57I mean, is this really what I have to look forward to?
00:02:00A lifetime of this?
00:02:03I promise you, when we get there, it's going to be so worth it.
00:02:07Okay?
00:02:27Oh, my God.
00:02:28Nate, you can warn me before I break a freaking ankle.
00:02:31It's good.
00:02:31It's fine.
00:02:34Is this right?
00:02:35Okay.
00:02:36Surprise!
00:02:38Tell me you're joking.
00:02:39What do you think?
00:02:42I think it's closed.
00:02:43What?
00:02:45No, no, no, no, no.
00:02:46It's not closed.
00:02:47Look.
00:02:47Look, you said let's take it to the next step, and, you know, we're here, and I said, why wait?
00:02:51I never said that.
00:02:51Yes, come on.
00:02:52Let's pick out our wedding rings.
00:02:53Right now?
00:02:54Yes, right now.
00:02:55Come on.
00:02:56Nate, we just talked about the possibility of taking it to the next step, not actually taking
00:03:00it to the next step.
00:03:01Did someone put you up to this?
00:03:03No.
00:03:04Look, I thought about this all by myself.
00:03:05Please, come on.
00:03:06I thought this would make you happy.
00:03:08Come on.
00:03:09I bet you didn't even call to see when they closed, did you?
00:03:12We still have three minutes.
00:03:14Nate, sweetie, let's go home, please.
00:03:16It's Friday night.
00:03:17These people might have something to do as opposed to us, who have nothing to do but go on a
00:03:21blindfolded
00:03:22adventure.
00:03:22Wait, wait, wait.
00:03:23Here comes somebody.
00:03:32I'm sorry, but I am closed.
00:03:33Listen, I know.
00:03:34How are you doing, sir?
00:03:35Listen, my name's Nate.
00:03:36I saw you adding a paper.
00:03:37I just want to show my fiance.
00:03:41You know what?
00:03:42We're going to have a sale next year.
00:03:43Come back then, okay?
00:03:45I'm sorry.
00:03:45It is late.
00:03:46I know.
00:03:47Sweetie, we can come back some other time.
00:03:49Really, it's no big deal.
00:03:50Let's leave this man be and get going.
00:03:52Sure.
00:03:53Sure.
00:03:54Look, sir, what's your name?
00:03:56Nate, I'm Douglas.
00:03:58Douglas.
00:03:58I'm sorry, but it's late.
00:04:00I've got to go.
00:04:01No, no, I know Douglas, but please listen in.
00:04:02It's the last chance I have to save this relationship.
00:04:05Man, I just need five minutes.
00:04:06Please, for love, sir.
00:04:09Nate, let's go.
00:04:12You're joking.
00:04:19Dude, you can do better than this.
00:04:22Trust me, I'm saving you trouble.
00:04:24Nate.
00:04:26Look, I know what you're thinking, but listen,
00:04:29underneath it all, we're meant for each other.
00:04:31We're soulmates.
00:04:33Do you mean that?
00:04:35It's you, man.
00:04:47Look at this one, man.
00:04:48It's like two dolphins intertwined or something.
00:04:50Sort of like the Wonder Twins, right?
00:04:54You know?
00:04:55Do you know what?
00:04:56Let me make a suggestion.
00:04:58Anything, please.
00:04:59Look at these.
00:05:02Those are ten grand.
00:05:04Nothing says, I love you, like diamonds.
00:05:08I thought nothing said, I love you, like I love you.
00:05:13No?
00:05:15Please, can you at least try to be a little bit suave?
00:05:18Seriously?
00:05:19Is that too much to ask for?
00:05:21Sorry.
00:05:24Sorry.
00:05:24Look, I wasn't prepared for the price,
00:05:26and you know what, though?
00:05:28It's for her.
00:05:29Whatever she wants, she can have it, okay?
00:05:32It's just, you know, economy, gas.
00:05:35I understand.
00:05:36Gas?
00:05:37You drive a freaking hybrid,
00:05:39and you work a mile from the house.
00:05:41You spend all your money on video games and DVDs.
00:05:44I think that this is a grown-up moment, sweetie.
00:06:00I know that, honey, all right?
00:06:02That's why I thought by bringing you here
00:06:04and showing you these rings,
00:06:06and it would just spark that old spark.
00:06:09Spit it out, Nate.
00:06:11See, that's your problem.
00:06:13You overanalyze everything,
00:06:14and then you shoot right over
00:06:15to the complete opposite end
00:06:17without giving anything some real thought.
00:06:21You know the deal.
00:06:22Let's play this tight and keep the plan.
00:06:23There it is.
00:06:24The street is ours for the next 15.
00:06:26You ready?
00:06:27Yes.
00:06:28Once we do this, there's no going back.
00:06:30We understand each other?
00:06:31Yeah.
00:06:31Let's go get it.
00:06:32Go! Go!
00:06:38You think that just by blindfolding me
00:06:40and forcing me to pick out crappy wedding rings...
00:06:43Sorry, no offense.
00:06:44None taken.
00:06:46That I'm just going to swoon and marry you.
00:06:56You're really not in love with me, Kate?
00:07:03If you take whatever you want,
00:07:04just don't hurt me.
00:07:05You're safe, no.
00:07:06I don't know what you're talking about.
00:07:07You don't?
00:07:08No.
00:07:10It's in the office.
00:07:11That's better.
00:07:12Grant, take it off.
00:07:13I got the biggie.
00:07:16You are a pervert.
00:07:18Come on.
00:07:19Let's get along.
00:07:20Let's go with my shit.
00:07:25Relax.
00:07:27Where are the keys?
00:07:28Where are the keys?
00:07:29The keys to the goddamn safe in the second drawer.
00:07:32How do you know about that?
00:07:32I'm psychic.
00:07:33No!
00:07:34No!
00:07:40No!
00:07:42Move that sucker.
00:07:44Come on!
00:07:45We're out of here.
00:07:50I'll do this.
00:07:52Nate.
00:07:52Now, just be quiet, Nate.
00:07:54You have to do something.
00:07:55Look, you're going to get us killed.
00:07:57Shh.
00:07:58Seriously, I can't die in here.
00:08:00Look, you're not going to die.
00:08:01Just be quiet, all right?
00:08:02Just be quiet as people.
00:08:05Oh, listen.
00:08:06Shh.
00:08:08Oh, what do we have here?
00:08:14Oh, ain't this cute?
00:08:17Come on, birds.
00:08:19Well, you got a good one here?
00:08:21Hey, I asked you a question, boy.
00:08:24Do we have a hero in the mix?
00:08:27Good.
00:08:28And sit tight, don't freaking move.
00:08:30Hey, you mind if I take a look at wifey over there?
00:08:34We're not married.
00:08:35Oh, you're not married, huh?
00:08:38I don't have all day.
00:08:39Let's move it.
00:08:41Do you know what you're taking?
00:08:43I know exactly what it is.
00:08:44Just blow the bar!
00:08:46Something doesn't compute with the equation right here.
00:08:50You with him and you.
00:08:54Hey, I'm talking to you!
00:08:56And you with this fine piece of bloomin' onion.
00:09:00Oh, this is good.
00:09:02I like this.
00:09:05Grant, what the hell are you doing, man?
00:09:07Take care of business.
00:09:08I am, all right?
00:09:11Don't go nowhere.
00:09:12No, you're not.
00:09:13Focus on the job and get back to work.
00:09:15I am working.
00:09:16Just do your freaking job.
00:09:18The hell did you say to me?
00:09:19You heard me.
00:09:21Do your freaking job.
00:09:23You really don't love me, do you?
00:09:25I don't know anymore, Nate.
00:09:27Honestly.
00:09:28You heard me.
00:09:29Do your freaking job.
00:09:31What do I?
00:09:32You speak Swahili over here?
00:09:36What the hell's the matter with you, man?
00:09:39We got a problem here, Grant?
00:09:40I don't know.
00:09:41Do we?
00:09:44Are you out of your mind?
00:09:46I don't understand.
00:09:49Nate, you're a good guy, but sometimes a girl wants more than just routine.
00:09:52I can set my watch by your daily schedule.
00:09:54I mean, come on.
00:09:55This ain't the time for this!
00:09:57We had an agreement, now stick to it!
00:09:58Finish the job!
00:10:00You are the job, Franklin.
00:10:03You gotta be freaking kidding me.
00:10:04Yeah?
00:10:05Game over.
00:10:06He knew.
00:10:07He knew you'd do this.
00:10:09He knew you was looking to make a move.
00:10:12Crazy Joe.
00:10:13You think a man like that he dialed in?
00:10:15You think he don't know?
00:10:17You can't make a move on the bars.
00:10:20I can be whatever you want me to be.
00:10:22See, that's what I'm talking about.
00:10:24I want you to be you without always asking me who I want you to be.
00:10:28You're constantly seeking my approval.
00:10:30And Christ, if that's not the crappiest deal, then all you want is a man.
00:10:37Rule number one.
00:10:39Never bite the hand.
00:10:40Never!
00:10:42You should've known better than go up against the boss.
00:10:44Don't forget, Joe.
00:10:45This is about us.
00:10:46And you're gonna pull this?
00:10:48What can I say, Frankie?
00:10:49Cash rules everything around me.
00:10:51No wonder you didn't hesitate to play number two, you gritty.
00:10:54You set me up.
00:10:55You set yourself up when you're playing this court of time.
00:10:59No one gets to drop on Crazy Joe.
00:11:01No one.
00:11:02You sure you wanna do that, cowboy?
00:11:04I don't know, kid.
00:11:06I'm feeling a little foggy here.
00:11:09Boys?
00:11:20So it's like that, huh?
00:11:22Yeah, it's like that.
00:11:23Crazy Joe can't be having no weak links.
00:11:25You went and copped yourself an idea.
00:11:28That could be a dangerous thought, kid.
00:11:31Didn't we teach you anything?
00:11:36Believe me, this isn't easy.
00:11:38This isn't easy.
00:11:39I mean, I've sacrificed too many what-ifs waiting for you to come into your own meet.
00:11:43Some people just never get there.
00:11:45And I'm not one to wait around.
00:11:49Don't do this, kid.
00:11:50Don't be stupid, Grant.
00:11:52Joe's on his last legs.
00:11:53The ship is going down.
00:11:54The spoils are in that back room waiting for us.
00:11:57Good try, Frankie.
00:12:00But this is goodbye.
00:12:02I think this is goodbye, Nate.
00:12:06What about it?
00:12:09You did it, girl!
00:12:11It's all in there.
00:12:18You missed, jerk-off!
00:12:21I'm gonna get up.
00:12:24I'm gonna get up right now.
00:12:25And I'm just gonna go, okay?
00:12:26Because this is not working out for you.
00:12:28You do what you gotta do.
00:12:29And I'm gonna go.
00:12:30And good luck.
00:12:31And the best of luck.
00:12:33And you're very nice.
00:12:34And thank you.
00:12:42Come out and play, kid!
00:12:45I think it's for the back.
00:12:49Who keeps texting you?
00:12:51Oh.
00:12:52It's just a friend.
00:12:53It's just a friend.
00:12:54A friend?
00:12:55Yeah, a friend from work.
00:12:56A guy friend.
00:12:58So?
00:13:00What, I can't have guy friends or something?
00:13:02Oh my god.
00:13:21They're killing each other out there.
00:13:22And all you can think about is me getting a text from some guy.
00:13:25Yes!
00:13:26Yes!
00:13:27Yes!
00:13:27That's the point, isn't it?
00:13:28Alright, here we are, face to face.
00:13:30Probably at our end.
00:13:31And you're getting some text from some guy just when our relationship's getting interesting.
00:13:34It never was interesting.
00:13:36You weren't.
00:13:37Alright, I was trying.
00:13:38For all these years, Kate.
00:13:39Oh, man up, Nate.
00:13:41What does that mean?
00:13:42Whatever.
00:13:42You figure it out.
00:13:53Don't be high, you little punk!
00:13:55Great.
00:13:56Now look what you've done.
00:13:58Gather some boys.
00:13:59Plan a little coup.
00:14:00Bring your buddy along.
00:14:01Take over an empire.
00:14:02That sounds like a Friday night to me.
00:14:04What's the friggin' problem?
00:14:06The problem is this world's full of low-lifes and thieves.
00:14:08And your friend ends up being a backstabbing son of a bitch.
00:14:10I'm coming for you, Frankie!
00:14:12I'm trembling!
00:14:14Yeah!
00:14:15Just keep your shirt on.
00:14:17How the hell are you getting out of this one, Franklin?
00:14:23But this is what you get.
00:14:24How to be greedy.
00:14:25You missed!
00:14:26You ain't going nowhere, Frankie!
00:14:28Shut up!
00:14:28I'm thinking!
00:14:29That's what got me into this in the first place.
00:14:30Yeah, you little punk!
00:14:32I can't believe this is happening.
00:14:34I can't believe this is happening.
00:14:35I can't believe this is happening.
00:14:36Just stay low, okay?
00:14:37No, no, no.
00:14:38I mean, you and me.
00:14:40I mean, I can't believe I put it with this crap for two freakin' years, and you tossed
00:14:44me out the moment I make a life-changing decision.
00:14:47What crap is that?
00:14:49What kind of crap is that?
00:14:51I don't get it.
00:14:52I don't know.
00:14:54Oh, but now?
00:14:55Now you have nothing to say?
00:14:56Once in your life, your mouth doesn't work.
00:14:59Well, you know what?
00:15:00When this is over, we're over.
00:15:11You missed the game!
00:15:13Yeah!
00:15:24Woo!
00:15:25Come on!
00:15:27Come on and play!
00:15:30You got a ham over there?
00:15:32No!
00:15:32You!
00:15:34And good luck trying to find someone to put up with your constant bitchin', your crappy
00:15:38food, and your dead fish lays.
00:15:40I'm not a dead fish.
00:15:42Yes, you are.
00:15:43Nate, what's come over here?
00:15:45Oh, I don't know, Kate.
00:15:46Whatever could it be?
00:15:48You wanna handle this like civilized men?
00:15:50Let's do it!
00:15:51No.
00:15:56Yes.
00:15:59Go!
00:16:02Take him!
00:16:03Take him!
00:16:04Take him down!
00:16:11Welcome to that intro
00:16:13Your motherfucking fingers like a loop
00:16:15You're a double test line
00:16:17Come on, let me like it
00:16:18I'm serious, cover up and dab it
00:16:20Dab it, dab it, dab it
00:16:21I'm back and you're gone
00:16:29Come on, let me like it
00:16:30I'm serious, cover up and dab it
00:16:32Dab it, dab it, dab it, dab it
00:16:33I'm back and you're gone
00:17:10Alright, take it
00:17:16You wanna get fancy, huh?
00:17:20Joe's gonna be pissed at you
00:17:21As soon as I'm done with you, I'm going after Joe
00:17:23You're always gonna send him come looking for you, huh?
00:17:26I don't care, I'll take care of a cleaner too
00:17:28Oh yeah, let's see what you got
00:17:29Come on, come on
00:17:33Come on, come on
00:17:34Come on
00:17:34There's no need to suck it
00:17:35Come on, come on, you fuck
00:17:40Come on, you fuck
00:17:44Come on, come on
00:17:48Come on
00:17:48Come on
00:17:50Come on
00:17:50Come on
00:17:50Come on
00:17:50Come on
00:17:51Come on
00:18:02This sucks
00:18:03Yeah, it does
00:18:04Like a bitch
00:18:06Hey
00:18:09We ain't done yet
00:18:12Hey
00:18:12Don't think so, sweetheart
00:18:15Where you going, huh?
00:18:17Where you going?
00:18:17Where you running?
00:18:18Please don't hurt us
00:18:19Please, please
00:18:19Just put her out of her misery already
00:18:21What did you say?
00:18:23You heard me
00:18:24You heard me
00:18:24Just blow her frickin' brains out, alright?
00:18:27Maybe this is the type of excitement and spontaneity that you need
00:18:31What are you talking about?
00:18:32This is not even funny, Nate
00:18:34Oh, nerd boy over here is blowing a gasket
00:18:37You know she's too fine for you anyway, snap a head?
00:18:40Nate
00:18:41What kind of name is Nate?
00:18:42Sounds like a delicatessen
00:18:44Huh?
00:18:45Woman like this
00:18:48She needs a man
00:18:49Not a geek, wussy boy like you
00:18:52Man
00:18:53Why don't you come up my way?
00:18:55I'll show you the real Malachi
00:18:56I'll show you how we do things on the east side of town
00:19:00Oh, no
00:19:01Oh, yes
00:19:02Not no
00:19:02Yes
00:19:04What you gonna do?
00:19:05Nate, do something
00:19:06Yeah, do something, Nate
00:19:08What you gonna do, boy?
00:19:10Hmm?
00:19:10You gonna do something?
00:19:12You look like you're gonna cry
00:19:14Huh?
00:19:14You gonna pee your pants or something?
00:19:16Huh?
00:19:17Yeah, Nate
00:19:18Do something
00:19:19Save your girl, Nate
00:19:21Do something, Nate
00:19:22Come on
00:19:26Nate?
00:19:50I broke my glasses
00:19:54I broke my glasses
00:19:56Are you okay?
00:20:00Hey?
00:20:01Yeah
00:20:04Okay, we need to go
00:20:06Come on
00:20:07Come on
00:20:39Hey, buddy
00:20:42Stop calling
00:20:44What?
00:20:47Kids engaged
00:20:49And look, you have no business going on
00:20:51Yeah
00:20:53Yeah
00:20:54Yeah
00:20:55Your boss, huh?
00:20:58He's been trying for a month, but nothing's happened
00:21:01I promise
00:21:03Nothing will happen
00:21:06Absolutely
00:21:10You
00:21:11Hey, honey, we have to go
00:21:12Hey, honey, we have to go
00:21:16No, not yet
00:21:20We're making a pimp cup toast
00:21:22We roast Northern Lights
00:21:23And Southern Cali nights
00:21:25From Oakland's black and silver
00:21:27To the Raiders and the world's biggest graffiti in the L.A. river
00:21:30Out in deserts drinking my liquor
00:21:32Where the honeys are tan
00:21:34There's ghetto birds in the Hootah
00:21:36We're out of gas, dude
00:21:38Yup, that looks like that was the last of it
00:21:40This really sucks
00:21:42You really suck
00:21:43Whatever, man, it was your fault
00:21:45How was it my fault you were driving?
00:21:53Now we're in a predicament
00:21:55Actually, it's more of a quandary
00:21:56But a quandary that sucks massive man balls
00:22:00L.A. Bob isn't the type to have a hybrid
00:22:03Well, most cellos don't
00:22:05What do you want to do now?
00:22:06What do you think?
00:22:07No
00:22:08Yeah, we're walking
00:22:09The W word? Walk?
00:22:11Yeah, come on
00:22:16You gotta be kidding me
00:22:17No, I'm not kidding you
00:22:18Does it look like I'm kidding you?
00:22:20You really want to walk?
00:22:22What other choice do we have?
00:22:23We're stuck out in the middle of the desert
00:22:25And it's cold and there's snow
00:22:28But walk?
00:22:30What do you think our ancestors did?
00:22:31You think they discovered the west in a frickin' Geo Metro?
00:22:34Huh?
00:22:34You think Lewis and Clark discovered Louisiana in a Range Rover?
00:22:38No, they walked
00:22:39First of all, I failed US history
00:22:41And I haven't walked since PE class
00:22:43And that's because I was forced to
00:22:45Well, strap up your boots cause we're walking
00:22:47Hold on
00:22:51My cell's got no reception
00:22:54Figures
00:22:54Well, we still gotta get to where we're going
00:22:56And it's that way
00:23:01Tell you what man, it's all that global warming
00:23:03That's why all this stuff's out here
00:23:05Snow in the desert?
00:23:07I guess Al Gore did predict this an inconvenient truth
00:23:10Yeah, I have to deal with the inconvenient truth that you're my brother
00:23:15Zing!
00:23:16Alright, that was a good one
00:23:17I know
00:23:18I hate nature
00:23:42I just keep putting one foot in front of the other there, grasshopper
00:23:46We're not even close
00:23:47Why do you think you have the monopoly on all the good lines?
00:23:50Put one foot in front of the other, grasshopper
00:23:52I got good lines too
00:23:55Yeah, like what?
00:23:57Like the time that I said the...
00:24:01If you take more than three seconds to come up with a line
00:24:03Then you don't have good lines
00:24:05You always are a wise ass
00:24:06Hey, where's the car?
00:24:08Put your thumb up
00:24:09I'm not going to put my thumb up
00:24:10Put your freaking thumb up
00:24:12Dude, I'm going to kick your ass if you don't put your thumb in the air
00:24:14I'll flag him down and I'm not going to hitchhike
00:24:16That's the same thing
00:24:17No it's not, flagging is less threatening
00:24:19While hitchhiking is more like for psychos and rapists
00:24:22We just need some roadside assistance
00:24:24Why do you always do this?
00:24:25What do you mean?
00:24:26What's the car?
00:24:32What's the car?
00:24:34What's the car?
00:24:35What's the car?
00:24:35What's the car?
00:24:38What's the car?
00:24:39What's the car?
00:24:40What's the car?
00:24:41Ow, are you okay?
00:24:45Well look what you did, they're gone man
00:24:46You know what?
00:24:47This relationship is over
00:24:49Oh yeah, you're breaking up with me?
00:24:50Yeah, fine, good luck fat boy
00:24:52Sticks and stones dick weed, sticks and stones
00:24:55You always do this to mess with me. From now on, you work alone.
00:24:59You're so immature.
00:25:00Whatever, I was kicking your ass anyway.
00:25:02No you weren't.
00:25:03Have a nice life.
00:25:06You know, we're a team, don't you forget that.
00:25:09Not anymore.
00:25:12You're scared of the dark.
00:25:14Not anymore.
00:25:16You're a loser.
00:25:19Yeah, you can't-
00:25:20What?
00:25:21You can't say not anymore to that one, can you?
00:25:23Jerk off.
00:25:25Not anymore!
00:25:28Dick.
00:25:40I hate you!
00:25:51I can make it on my own without him.
00:25:54I don't need him.
00:25:56Nope.
00:25:57I don't care.
00:25:58It's over this time.
00:26:05It's over my brother, my blood, and an idiot.
00:26:12Damn, it's a cliff.
00:26:18I wonder if anybody has any gas in here.
00:26:24I don't want to put my thumb up.
00:26:26I want to flag him down.
00:26:27I want to flag him down.
00:26:27It's the same thing, you idiot.
00:26:29Your stupid big hair.
00:26:35What in the world?
00:26:37It's freezing nuts out of here.
00:26:49they don't want to flag him down.
00:26:52Hello?
00:27:08Oh, cool. It's like tombstone. I'll be your huckleberry.
00:27:14What are you doing? That ain't funny. You know I got a weak heart, man.
00:27:19Your heart's fine, Doc Holliday. Actually, you know what? You're more like Billy Bob Thornton at the beginning when he
00:27:24got his butt kicked when he was fat.
00:27:27Whatever, man. I got it when it counts. I'm too slow, man. This place is weird, dude.
00:27:34Looks like the set for the sequel to The Three Amigos. What are you doing here, anyway? I didn't want
00:27:40to see you again. I told you to leave me alone.
00:27:41I promised Mom I'd keep an eye on you. Plus, without me, you'd be lost. And you wouldn't have work.
00:27:48Mom always liked you the best, and it's driven me nuts my entire life.
00:27:53You're serious, aren't you?
00:27:54It's the heart attack I just had.
00:27:57Alright. You want to break up?
00:28:00Yeah.
00:28:02We'll do this one gig, this last gig, and then if you're still sore at me, we'll go our separate
00:28:06ways.
00:28:07Fine. Let's go find a titty to suck on, Mama's boy.
00:28:11Whatever, dude. You stay on that side.
00:28:14I'm going to. I'm not coming over there.
00:28:42Hey, Inspector Gadget, you find a go-go titty to suck on?
00:28:46Ha!
00:28:47You are talking to me.
00:28:48What's up?
00:28:49No, I'm not.
00:28:49Yeah, you are.
00:28:50No.
00:28:50Good.
00:28:51Fine.
00:28:56I got a bad feeling about this place.
00:29:01Did you say something?
00:29:02Not to you!
00:29:10What was that?
00:29:12Those are shells, my friend.
00:29:13And they're fresh.
00:29:17Something ain't right about this.
00:29:25Jesus!
00:29:26No!
00:29:31Alpha Team, Bravo Team, over here!
00:29:33Coming out!
00:29:35I'm dead!
00:29:35I'm dead!
00:29:36I'm dead!
00:29:38I'm dead!
00:29:39I'm dead!
00:29:39I'm dead!
00:29:44I'm dead!
00:29:44I'm dead!
00:29:47I'm dead!
00:29:49I'm dead!
00:29:51I'm dead!
00:29:52I'm dead!
00:29:54I'm dead!
00:29:56I'm dead!
00:30:09I'm dead!
00:30:10I'm dead!
00:30:12I'm dead!
00:30:14I'm dead!
00:30:15I'm dead!
00:30:17I'm dead!
00:30:18I'm dead!
00:30:19Oh my god!
00:30:20Our bags.
00:30:21We're still out there.
00:30:22You idiots out or could you leave our bags?
00:30:24Hey, you told me to run.
00:30:25Technically it's your fault.
00:30:26Shut up.
00:30:27It's your fault.
00:30:29Whatever, man.
00:30:30Whatever you do.
00:31:09You're a mistake.
00:31:10Mom was sleeping and ready to have kids.
00:31:12You shouldn't exist.
00:31:13You were an ass baby.
00:31:14Why don't you think about what that means for a minute.
00:31:18Dude, that's an ass baby.
00:31:19They can smell you, I bet.
00:31:21I know, it smells like yogurt.
00:31:23Hydrated baby food.
00:31:24I thought we had something light for dinner.
00:31:30Move out!
00:31:34Move out, move out!
00:31:38Move out!
00:31:39Move out, move out!
00:31:39Cover my back!
00:31:40Up me, up me.
00:31:42Slow, slow, slow.
00:31:43I'm too slow to have a body packed down.
00:31:46Hold up!
00:31:46I'm too slow to have my body packed up.
00:31:47What?
00:31:49What is that?
00:31:50Watch your plates, watch your plates.
00:31:51Take those real search and solve a million.
00:31:54You ready for anything?
00:31:55Cover them.
00:31:58Cover them positions!
00:32:00Hustle up! Let's go!
00:32:02Some sort of trick, chief?
00:32:05I'm training.
00:32:06He knows what the general can set up.
00:32:09Ready for anything.
00:32:11That's what he says, right?
00:32:15I just wonder what it is.
00:32:18I don't know, man.
00:32:20I know you don't know, man! I'm just trying to hear myself think!
00:32:22Jesus!
00:32:24It's suspect.
00:32:26It don't feel right.
00:32:30What do we got?
00:32:31Clear!
00:32:32Clear!
00:32:37I can't see.
00:32:39What are they doing?
00:32:40This isn't good, man.
00:32:41Are they going to open up our bags, you think?
00:32:42I don't know.
00:32:44They're kind of out in the middle there.
00:32:46Maybe it's just trash blowing from the last sandstorm.
00:32:50No, man. It looks like tumbleweeds.
00:32:51It's too heavy.
00:32:54It could be an IED.
00:32:57Come on, man.
00:32:58That's the only way to cover all the angles.
00:32:59Get with it. Bring the hound.
00:33:01Bring the hound!
00:33:02Bring the hound!
00:33:04Bring the frickin' hound!
00:33:08Yeah, them Taliban is sneaky, man.
00:33:12Yeah, you'd know if you weren't on laundry duty
00:33:13while I was running black ops in the back hills of Kabul.
00:33:19Oh my god, how did we get into this mess?
00:33:23They got guns. We're probably going to get killed.
00:33:26What we got?
00:33:27We got another, Chief.
00:33:30Alright, open it up.
00:33:34This is awesome.
00:33:36So what do you think?
00:33:37Should I go get the bags?
00:33:39We gotta do something, dude.
00:33:40I would kill for a cheeseburger right now.
00:33:43But it ain't no dang ink bomb.
00:33:45It stains the eyes.
00:33:47It's just in my clothes, damn it.
00:33:52Oh.
00:33:53Cheese.
00:33:54Damn.
00:33:55Real sick.
00:33:56You found your calling, Hayek.
00:33:58Back to home laundry duty.
00:33:59Damn.
00:34:01Hey, those are mine.
00:34:03Don't touch the grease, fat boy!
00:34:05Yucky, I know.
00:34:06Sorry you didn't see that.
00:34:08Get down!
00:34:08Get down on the ground!
00:34:09Get down!
00:34:10Get down on the ground!
00:34:10Actually, I've got a bum knee.
00:34:12You wouldn't believe this.
00:34:12I'm an old high school athlete.
00:34:14And, uh, can I just stand?
00:34:16Is it...
00:34:17Get down on the ground!
00:34:20What an idiot.
00:34:21I guess I'm gonna take that as a no, then.
00:34:31You're trespassing on private property.
00:34:33By all means, I have a right to shoot you.
00:34:35Um, I ran out of gas and I just followed that little road up here.
00:34:39Shut your pickle and pie whole breakfast sausage!
00:34:43Search him, Hayek!
00:34:44Sorry.
00:34:46Somebody get the gentle down here!
00:34:48He sure as hell ain't gonna be happy.
00:34:50Did, uh...
00:34:52Did he say breakfast sausage?
00:34:53Shut up!
00:34:54Okay.
00:34:55I'm hungry.
00:34:57He so needs me.
00:35:00Loser.
00:35:01I'm hungry.
00:35:05I'm hungry.
00:35:05I'm hungry.
00:35:06What an idiot.
00:35:10Ooh, Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.
00:35:15Humpty Dumpty had a great...
00:35:17ball?
00:35:18Shut up!
00:35:20You gonna talk?
00:35:21Hey, you already...
00:35:23Shut up!
00:35:26Would you please tell him to shut up?
00:35:28Shut the hell up.
00:35:31Ooh, I can't wait for the general to get down here.
00:35:35This fat ass came to the wrong camp, ain't that right?
00:35:37Damn right, sir.
00:35:38Guys, I...
00:35:39Call me sir, goddammit!
00:35:43Sir, I pose no eminent threat to national security,
00:35:46and I can't even spell eminent if I tried,
00:35:48which I would never try to do, but...
00:35:49Sir, I've seen this before.
00:35:52He's like that fat kid from the Goonies.
00:35:55Oh, people always think I'm the catcher from the Sandlot, but...
00:35:57Shut the hell up!
00:36:00Go get me the blender.
00:36:03Brett!
00:36:04Shit, it's the general.
00:36:05Here we go, you're in for it now, fat ass!
00:36:08How do I look?
00:36:09Good. How do I look?
00:36:10Great. How do I look?
00:36:12Shut up!
00:36:19Sir!
00:36:20Sir!
00:36:21All right, all right, at ease.
00:36:23I'm not gonna be that formal military crap.
00:36:26This guy right here, sir.
00:36:27Hey!
00:36:28Hey, gun.
00:36:36This retarded nerd.
00:36:38You brought me here for this?
00:36:40Sir, I...
00:36:41Shut up!
00:36:42Jesus!
00:36:43This guy hadn't shut his pile hole since he surrendered.
00:36:46You check his ID.
00:36:48Yeah, I had nothing to do.
00:36:49Uh, my license got revoked.
00:36:51I can explain that.
00:36:52There was a bar fight in Tijuana and...
00:36:54You a spy?
00:36:55A spy?
00:36:56No, I don't know.
00:36:57I'm from Compton.
00:36:58I'm down.
00:37:00Down for what?
00:37:02From Compton.
00:37:03I grew up with all the brothers, man.
00:37:04I'm not your goddamn brother!
00:37:05I know what's up.
00:37:07See, now I'm gonna get you suckered.
00:37:09You trying to be cute with me, boy?
00:37:10No, no, no.
00:37:11What'd I say?
00:37:12Cute?
00:37:13You high on something?
00:37:14Actually, it was Gestapo crap, so it was pretty quick, but...
00:37:17Hey, don't be a smartass, okay?
00:37:19Mm-hmm.
00:37:20I can put a bullet in your head and bury your ass right here in the desert.
00:37:23You understand me?
00:37:24Uh, yes, sir.
00:37:26I do.
00:37:30Jesus.
00:37:32How'd this happen?
00:37:34This guy is an idiot, sir.
00:37:36That's right.
00:37:38It's cold outside.
00:37:40It's Friday night.
00:37:41My wife is waiting for me, and you brought me here for this bullshit?
00:37:45Oh, you know it.
00:37:47I agree, sir.
00:37:48That's right, sir.
00:37:49You checking for weapons?
00:37:51Had none, General.
00:37:51Yeah, we had a trash bag full of dirty laundry.
00:37:54We didn't dig too deep.
00:37:55It was disgusting, sir!
00:37:56I've been unemployed for a while.
00:37:58I've been eating ramen noodles, and I got the checks they're about to roll in in two weeks,
00:38:02and then I'm gonna go to a laundromat and get all that squared away.
00:38:04Sorry about that for you.
00:38:08Outside, Red.
00:38:10Now!
00:38:16Can you grab me a blanket or something while you're out there, maybe?
00:38:19I, uh...
00:38:21It's cold.
00:38:23I can see my breath.
00:38:29Please?
00:38:40I ain't messing up.
00:38:42I want you to take this retard out into the desert and bury his ass deep.
00:38:53You're an idiot.
00:38:54Dude, what are you doing?
00:38:55Hurry up and get me out of here.
00:38:56We're on military land.
00:38:57This ain't military land, dude.
00:38:59These guys are mercenaries, and they will kill us both if they find us.
00:39:03Haven't you ever seen 2020?
00:39:04The mercenary episode?
00:39:05No.
00:39:06Yeah, it was crazy.
00:39:07It was guns and stuff.
00:39:08I'd love to catch a predator.
00:39:09To catch a predator?
00:39:10Yeah.
00:39:10Oh, I love that show.
00:39:11I almost feel bad for those guys.
00:39:12Yeah, that kind of sucks.
00:39:13This thing's crazy.
00:39:14It's the mercs?
00:39:15Yeah, mercs.
00:39:16Sir?
00:39:18Did I stutter?
00:39:21Yes, no sir.
00:39:23You can't have some retard running around exposing our operation here.
00:39:27You understand me?
00:39:28Get me out of here.
00:39:30No.
00:39:31Say it.
00:39:32No.
00:39:33No, say it.
00:39:34Say it.
00:39:35Admit it.
00:39:36Nope.
00:39:37I'm not doing it.
00:39:37Admit it.
00:39:38Say it.
00:39:39Nope.
00:39:40Dude, I can wait here all day.
00:39:42Look, I'm just gonna sit right here.
00:39:44These guys are gonna come back in here.
00:39:45They're gonna shoot us.
00:39:47Both of us.
00:39:48I need you.
00:39:50What?
00:39:50I need you.
00:39:51What?
00:39:52I need you.
00:39:53I can't hear you, dude.
00:39:54You gotta speak up.
00:39:55Fine!
00:39:56I...
00:39:58I need you.
00:39:58There.
00:39:59I said it.
00:40:00You need me and...
00:40:05And...
00:40:06I need you.
00:40:08And...
00:40:09I can't do it without you.
00:40:10And you can't do it without me.
00:40:12That's right.
00:40:13Remember that, buddy.
00:40:14Was that so hard?
00:40:15Yeah.
00:40:16It was.
00:40:16They don't tie me so they're gonna beat the shit out of you.
00:40:18God, they got some serious knots back here.
00:40:21I know.
00:40:21They're obviously Boy Scouts.
00:40:22All right.
00:40:23We'll get her done, sir.
00:40:25I'll take machete with you.
00:40:27Just to be sure you don't mess things up.
00:40:29Are we clear?
00:40:31Yes, sir.
00:40:32Yes, sir.
00:40:37Sir, the fat ass has escaped.
00:40:40Go get him back.
00:40:42What the hell are you two waiting for?
00:40:43Sir.
00:40:47Damn it!
00:40:49Jesus!
00:40:52You know what?
00:40:53You're a real jerk.
00:40:54You know that?
00:40:54This is ridiculous.
00:40:55No, this whole situation is your fault.
00:40:58My fault?
00:40:58Yeah, your fault.
00:40:59How do you always blame me?
00:41:00Because you got us into this mess.
00:41:02That you just frickin' taking the ride and not attack me like some Neanderthal.
00:41:06Those Mexicans would've picked us up and they probably would've had nice food and tortilla chips and stuff.
00:41:10If you would've taken your thumb out of your ass and put it in the air, we'd be in a
00:41:15cushy car with a heater right now and not in the middle of the desert with snow, which is weird.
00:41:19You're a moron.
00:41:20You're a moron.
00:41:21You're an idiot.
00:41:22You know what?
00:41:23Let's put this on pause.
00:41:24We gotta get our bags back.
00:41:25I hate you.
00:41:26I hate you more.
00:41:27Go.
00:41:28Hey!
00:41:33We lost fat ass, General.
00:41:35All clear on the perimeter.
00:41:37It was just too stupid to come back and think.
00:41:40Okay.
00:41:41You heard him.
00:41:42Sightment's over.
00:41:44You're there.
00:41:45What do you want us to do, General?
00:41:48God damn it, Red.
00:41:50Get your ass back here.
00:41:51Get this maggot out of my life, so we can give him a dirt nap.
00:41:55Alright?
00:41:55Copy that.
00:41:59Let's get out of here.
00:42:01No, no, wait.
00:42:03I got an idea.
00:42:09Roger that, sir.
00:42:10We're heading back to base camp.
00:42:11Sir, it wasn't my fault.
00:42:12I swear.
00:42:13What kind of army is this?
00:42:16Jesus!
00:42:26Woo!
00:42:27Yeah!
00:42:28I can't believe it.
00:42:29This is awesome.
00:42:31Great.
00:42:31I am so bad, man.
00:42:32Who's the man?
00:42:33I am.
00:42:34It was my idea.
00:42:35No, man.
00:42:36I'm the one driving.
00:42:37I'm the one.
00:42:38Woo!
00:42:40You gotta be gunning.
00:42:45General!
00:42:46General!
00:42:47Slow down, my city.
00:42:49General!
00:42:50Hold your eyes, mama, follow me.
00:42:52Alright, General.
00:42:53Damn!
00:42:56Jesus Christ.
00:42:58It's a night of retards and idiots.
00:43:01Which way did you go, General?
00:43:03They went that way.
00:43:05And I'm holding you personally responsible to bring them back.
00:43:10Or I'm gonna let the machete clean up this mess,
00:43:12and you know what that means.
00:43:14Now get out of here.
00:43:16We'll get them back, General.
00:43:17Sir, take the car with you.
00:43:19This way!
00:43:23Just move your ass.
00:43:24Come on!
00:43:25Come on!
00:43:27Let's go!
00:43:29Come on!
00:43:30Come on!
00:43:31Come on, my city!
00:43:31Get it!
00:43:33Hey, we'll do it!
00:43:34Go over there!
00:43:36Go over there!
00:43:39You're lost, aren't you?
00:43:40Nope!
00:43:40Yeah, you are!
00:43:41No, I'm not!
00:43:41Yeah, you are!
00:43:42Nope!
00:43:43I can tell when you're lost when you're lost right now.
00:43:44Dude, I'm like a built-in GPS, man.
00:43:46You're a built-in idiot.
00:43:47Whatever, dude.
00:43:48I'm telling you right now that if we're lost,
00:43:50I'm going to fall through your mouth.
00:43:50You're not gonna do anything,
00:43:51because I'm not lost!
00:43:52I know exactly where we're going, bros!
00:43:54Just chill out!
00:43:55Balls through the mouth.
00:43:56That's what's gonna happen.
00:43:57You're freezing.
00:43:58Nothing's gonna stop us, dude!
00:44:00You're the Smith Brothers, man!
00:44:02To infinity and beyond!
00:44:04Toystoys?
00:44:21No!
00:44:22Come on, baby!
00:44:23Come on!
00:44:23Gas it!
00:44:24I am!
00:44:26That's it.
00:44:27That's the last of it.
00:44:28You gotta be kidding me, man!
00:44:30You're an idiot!
00:44:31That's twice!
00:44:31It's not my fault!
00:44:32You jinxed it with all the infinity and beyond crap!
00:44:35Whatever!
00:44:36Here, take your bag, man.
00:44:37I ain't carrying your stuff.
00:44:38The battery still works.
00:44:40Like that matters.
00:44:41We're out of gas, again.
00:44:42And they're still back there.
00:44:43Well, then hurry, then!
00:44:44Stop messing around!
00:44:45That hurt!
00:44:46You're such a baby!
00:44:47It's freaking cold, man!
00:44:48It hurts twice as much!
00:44:49Whatever!
00:44:50Whatever to you!
00:44:51Just keep putting one foot in front of the other,
00:44:53that grasshopper!
00:44:54Shut up, dude!
00:44:54I'm tired of walking.
00:44:55If you don't want to get your hands dirty,
00:44:56then I'll handle it myself.
00:44:58Fine.
00:44:59Let's get out of here.
00:45:03What are you laughing at?
00:45:04Nothing.
00:45:05Let's get out of here.
00:45:07Yeah.
00:45:08That was pretty awesome.
00:45:12Want to give me a hand down?
00:45:13Yeah, dude.
00:45:14Yeah.
00:45:15We're close.
00:45:19I'll cheat.
00:45:28I can't believe this happened again.
00:45:30Hey, man.
00:45:30I got us out.
00:45:31I can't think of everything, you know?
00:45:33No.
00:45:34Shut up.
00:45:34Shut up.
00:45:35I know what you're going to say.
00:45:36No, you don't.
00:45:37Yes, I do.
00:45:37I always do.
00:45:38I just pretend I don't,
00:45:40so you can have your delusions.
00:45:41Grandeur.
00:45:42See?
00:45:42You just finished my sentence.
00:45:43Whatever.
00:45:44Ha!
00:45:47A car.
00:45:48Could be the fuzz.
00:45:49Could be help.
00:45:50Can I put your thumb on?
00:45:53You flag.
00:45:54I'll hit you.
00:45:59Honey, you see that?
00:46:04Oh, dude.
00:46:05They're slowing down.
00:46:06Sweet!
00:46:08Let's stop.
00:46:12Hi.
00:46:13Hey, man.
00:46:14You guys okay?
00:46:15Man, we've really been through hell tonight.
00:46:17Uh, can you give us a lift?
00:46:19Honey, they could be dangerous.
00:46:22Are you guys dangerous?
00:46:24We look dangerous.
00:46:25We're just trying to get Palm Springs for some work.
00:46:30What's in those bags?
00:46:32We're dirty laundry.
00:46:33Swear.
00:46:35Palm Springs is on the way, honey.
00:46:37We can drop them off.
00:46:38Yeah.
00:46:40We're heading that way.
00:46:41Come on in, guys.
00:46:42Great.
00:46:46Yeah, wait, wait, wait.
00:46:48Yeah, yeah.
00:46:48I see it.
00:46:49I see it.
00:46:50I see it.
00:46:50We're, we're.
00:46:50Ten o'clock, over there.
00:46:52Yeah, yeah, I see it.
00:46:53That's two o'clock, you idiots.
00:46:55Whatever.
00:46:56Punchy Marchetti.
00:46:57I see it on machete.
00:47:04I can't say ask Garth for show at all.
00:47:07Red.
00:47:10Okay.
00:47:11Okay, oh damn. I just just like my coccyx bone red general wants to report
00:47:20Yeah, I'm gonna talk with those guys get away. We are trained professionals
00:47:26General's gonna have our ass
00:47:28Maybe there is a clue or something. Shut up Hayek. See merch you wrote
00:47:34Get your ass back on a ride told you to let me navigate
00:47:37Shut up
00:47:41Oh
00:47:42Thank you guys so much. You have no idea how bad we needed this ride. We are totally indebted to
00:47:47you. Yeah, thanks. We really appreciate it
00:47:51We're going to Vegas
00:47:54Nice we're getting married
00:47:56Nice. Oh, that's cute. I can't believe you let them get away man. Now look at your ass
00:48:02I don't know what to say Joe
00:48:04I'm sorry man. I don't know what happened. Shut up you ain't got nothing to say now
00:48:11I gotta outsource this shit
00:48:12Don't worry we'll get this guy all right? Get your ass back to the casino
00:48:20Come back to that job
00:48:25I can't sweetheart. I got so much stuff to do. This is important
00:48:29We don't like to see you so worried
00:48:36I'm not worried
00:48:38Yes you are baby. You are so tense
00:48:41Come on
00:48:42Come back to bed Joe
00:48:44Show us just how crazy you are
00:48:47We'll make it all better
00:48:48If you want some business
00:48:53Oh my giant doll
00:48:56My baby doll
00:48:58My baby doll
00:48:58My baby doll
00:49:00Boss's work is never done
00:49:16Yeah, yeah. I'm still waiting. Don't stop it.
00:49:19All right. I'll call you back, baby.
00:49:24Hey, Joe. Still with the reflux, huh?
00:49:27You think this mess helps?
00:49:29What? Is it too sunny in here?
00:49:31Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
00:49:31I'm sorry. Don't talk. I saw the whole thing.
00:49:39You saw the whole thing?
00:49:41I saw the whole thing.
00:49:43I thought the cameras were the same for me.
00:49:44Hey, don't think.
00:49:46That's what God has seen in this mess in the first place.
00:49:51Have you seen Franklin?
00:49:52No sign. No.
00:49:56Listen, Joe, what can I do? What do you want to do?
00:50:04When the cleaner gets here, we'll figure out what we want to do.
00:50:09Who called the cleaner?
00:50:13You know what was in the light of the day.
00:50:17You messed up. You know that, right?
00:50:21Yesterday, our levels created, made me feel like things will change, but suddenly...
00:50:27Are we there yet?
00:50:28Ow, what? I'm hungry, man. Maybe we could stop and go through, like, a drive-thru.
00:50:32Sorry, guys. He's autistic.
00:50:34I'm not autistic. I'm artistic. You've seen my works.
00:50:38Whatever, dude. You do coloring books.
00:50:40You know, guys, that's fine.
00:50:42So where are you guys from originally?
00:50:44Back east.
00:50:45No. No way. Whereabouts?
00:50:48Boston.
00:50:49Somerville, right here.
00:50:51Uh-oh. Stuck up, Jake. Somerville.
00:50:55You have no idea.
00:50:58You shut up.
00:51:00Make me.
00:51:02So, how long have you two been together?
00:51:07Two and a half years.
00:51:09Yeah.
00:51:10Keeping a relationship is hard, but, you know, we're working at it.
00:51:13Yeah?
00:51:14We know what you mean.
00:51:15Yeah.
00:51:16Oh, you guys a couple?
00:51:17No, no, no. We're brothers. We're not gay.
00:51:20No.
00:51:20Oh.
00:51:21Excuse me.
00:51:24So, what's this gig you have? Are you guys, like, musicians or something?
00:51:27No.
00:51:28No, no, no. We're just helping out a friend. It's like a favor. It's boring, really.
00:51:32I don't want to trouble you with the details.
00:51:34But it pays.
00:51:35Yeah.
00:51:35And, you know, gotta pay the rent, right?
00:51:37Yeah.
00:51:38And these times, I mean, take what you can get, right?
00:51:42Right.
00:51:42True that, man.
00:51:44Oh, oh, the exit, right up here.
00:51:45Where?
00:51:46Uh, the next exit. It's, uh, Palm Canyon.
00:51:48Okay, okay.
00:51:48And there's a burger shop off the, uh, on-ramp.
00:51:51If you could stop and get some chicken fries, it'd be great.
00:52:17That's awesome, thank you.
00:52:23So, that's from the grocery store.
00:52:27And, um...
00:52:28You're crazy. You seriously think you'd kick his ass?
00:52:31Cool.
00:52:33You're crazy.
00:52:34Are you waiting for us?
00:52:35I'm waiting for you.
00:52:35You, you're crazy, you seriously think he'd kick his ass.
00:52:35It's a D.C. dude. It's a D.C. guy.
00:52:37D.C.'s terrible.
00:52:38I know.
00:52:39Sorry.
00:52:40That's okay. And that's how we met.
00:52:42That's such a sweet story. I think I'm going to get a toothache for it.
00:52:46Shut up. It was sweet.
00:52:49No, no, no. Don't get me wrong.
00:52:50He's one smooth operator over there, isn't he?
00:52:53He is.
00:52:55You know, and he's only getting better.
00:52:57I think we both have.
00:52:59C'est la vie, right?
00:53:01I think I'm the lucky one now.
00:53:03I wish I could say the same about my significant other.
00:53:06I heard that.
00:53:07I know you did. That's why I said it.
00:53:10Nice.
00:53:13Oh, lovers.
00:53:14They're drinking all that Haterade.
00:53:16I'm not. I was just joking around.
00:53:21The Martian Manhunter.
00:53:22Really?
00:53:23You bit of me?
00:53:24No.
00:53:24You're smoking crack, dude.
00:53:25You're smoking crack.
00:53:27Marmalade's got all the best characters.
00:53:29D.C. guys, you got what?
00:53:30Green Lantern.
00:53:31Plastic Man.
00:53:32Let's do that.
00:53:32Oh, I got Plastic Man.
00:53:34Green Lantern.
00:53:35You know?
00:53:37Yeah, but...
00:53:39They're okay, but...
00:53:40One Batman...
00:53:42Trumps...
00:53:43Ten Captain America.
00:53:44I'll give you that.
00:53:45Yeah.
00:53:46You will.
00:53:47You will.
00:53:52So, don't you guys have somewhere to be?
00:53:56Yeah.
00:53:57Yeah.
00:53:57Yeah, we got a job to do, unfortunately.
00:54:00Bartender, can I get another beer?
00:54:01We have time for another beer, right?
00:54:03I don't think we have time, dude.
00:54:04You have time?
00:54:05No.
00:54:06You're good.
00:54:07Fine.
00:54:08We'll have another.
00:54:09I know.
00:54:10A round of shots?
00:54:10Yeah, a round of shots.
00:54:12God damn it.
00:54:13Where is this guy?
00:54:14Have you used this guy before?
00:54:16No?
00:54:17I've never seen him before in my life.
00:54:21You see what I've been reduced to?
00:54:22You see?
00:54:24I can't even use my own guys.
00:54:26It's supposed to be some real hot shot.
00:54:29You know how these cleaner guys are.
00:54:31All smoke and mirrors.
00:54:32It's all hype.
00:54:33Come on.
00:54:34Just think of the name.
00:54:35Cleaners.
00:54:36Come on.
00:54:37Not this guy.
00:54:39The guy that referred him said he's the real deal.
00:54:41Took out L.A. Bob's crew last month.
00:54:44Alone.
00:54:45Oh, he's a Hollywood type of guy.
00:54:47He likes to steal the show.
00:54:49Make a late entrance.
00:54:51L.A. Bob.
00:54:52He was nothing.
00:54:54It was 40 to 1.
00:54:58Exactly.
00:55:01Hey, Joe.
00:55:01Where you going?
00:55:03Hey, can I take a leak?
00:55:05Come, sir.
00:55:06Yeah.
00:55:12Hello, you guys.
00:55:12Looks like our time together is just about up.
00:55:14Yeah, thank you so much.
00:55:15We owe you a ton.
00:55:16No, it's our pleasure.
00:55:18You two behave and take care of each other, okay?
00:55:21You're brothers.
00:55:23I never thought I'd be saying that to two hitchhikers, but...
00:55:26Well, I guess you learn something new about people all the time, right?
00:55:29Yeah.
00:55:33Guys, this is it.
00:55:34Looks closed.
00:55:35This is Indian land.
00:55:36I know it doesn't look like much, but it's open.
00:55:38You want us to walk you in?
00:55:39You sure?
00:55:40No, no, it's all right, you guys.
00:55:41Seriously, you've already done enough.
00:55:42Okay.
00:55:43You sure?
00:55:44I'm positive, dude.
00:55:45Thanks, Nate.
00:55:45I really appreciate it.
00:55:46All right, well, if you need anything, just let us, you know...
00:55:50Nate, Kate, late.
00:55:52Thank you so much.
00:55:53I really appreciate everything, and good luck with your marriage and all that.
00:55:57Dude, do you know how amazing that line just was?
00:55:59I just had a good line.
00:56:01Late?
00:56:01I just had a good line, and it rhymed.
00:56:03That was awesome.
00:56:04You don't have the Monopoly on all the lines, I told you.
00:56:17All right, dude, put your game face on.
00:56:18I always got my game face on.
00:56:20Hey, man, tell Large Marge send this.
00:56:22Stop messing around.
00:56:23Francis.
00:56:23Oh, good line.
00:56:44Are you sure this is where the gig's at, or is this another one of your underground
00:56:46big boys?
00:56:47Can you shut up?
00:56:48Yes, this is where the gig's at.
00:56:49Oh, you like it deep and hard.
00:56:50Very nice, huh?
00:56:51What, are you expecting to be a sign out front?
00:56:53This is like my boss casino more?
00:56:55You're the one that has my favorite moment, Spartacus, on your Facebook.
00:56:57Whatever, Spartacus.
00:56:59I don't know.
00:57:00You're the one that has my favorite, Spartacus.
00:57:30Have you ever seen me? Of course I know.
00:57:32Dude, this is my kind of place, baby!
00:57:38Alright, relax, relax. Let's find our guy.
00:57:41What's up?
00:57:41Hey, how's it going?
00:57:42Yeah.
00:57:43What's up, man?
00:57:46You guys winning?
00:57:50Are those henna tattoos?
00:57:51No, those are definitely real.
00:57:53Okay.
00:57:54What's up, man?
00:57:59What's going on?
00:58:00What's going on?
00:58:07You guys know where Joe's at?
00:58:10Are you sure that's where the kid's at?
00:58:12Follow my lady.
00:58:13Sweet guy.
00:58:14I'll take care of this.
00:58:15We ain't open.
00:58:16College ball is downtown.
00:58:18Alright, kids? Come on.
00:58:19There's a lot of people in here. You look open to me.
00:58:22We ain't open, freak show.
00:58:25Who are you?
00:58:27The guy's telling you you're in a wrong, freaking place.
00:58:29Now get the hell out of here if you don't want trouble.
00:58:33Really?
00:58:34Hey, you hear what I said?
00:58:36I'm sorry, but me and my brother...
00:58:38Did you hear what I said?
00:58:38Oh, yeah, I heard you.
00:58:39You heard me?
00:58:40Oh, I'm sorry. I have some sand in my ear.
00:58:42Crick your ears, dirt bomb. Get out of here.
00:58:44We've had a really long night.
00:58:44I don't care how long you get.
00:58:46Now get the hell out of here, boy.
00:58:47There's a big trouble.
00:58:49Big trouble.
00:58:50Yeah, big trouble.
00:58:51Like the Kurt Russell movie.
00:58:52Yeah, little filo.
00:58:54What do we got here?
00:58:55Nothing. They were just leaving.
00:58:57A couple college things.
00:59:02Ready to go?
00:59:04I don't know.
00:59:06You okay?
00:59:08I feel like something's not right.
00:59:11I think we should leave our number with them.
00:59:13Really?
00:59:15Yeah, I think it's the right thing to do.
00:59:16I'll be right back.
00:59:17No.
00:59:19You're not going to go without me.
00:59:21I'll be right back.
00:59:22I know.
00:59:23I...
00:59:24I just want to go with you.
00:59:29Okay, let's go.
00:59:31Hey, they call hospitality for a reason, man.
00:59:33Where's the customer service?
00:59:34Hey, it's a TGI Friday.
00:59:36Alright?
00:59:37How do you know I like TGI Friday?
00:59:38I don't know.
00:59:40You the owner?
00:59:41Who's the ask?
00:59:42Hey, you called us, man.
00:59:43Guys.
00:59:44Hey, guys.
00:59:44I forgot to give you my cell number.
00:59:46Just...
00:59:46Nate?
00:59:47It's them.
00:59:48Snap ahead?
00:59:49You guys know each other?
00:59:51Oh, yeah.
00:59:52Look, this is a major misunderstanding.
00:59:54Oh, it's major.
00:59:55Well, it's no misunderstanding.
00:59:57We know who you are.
01:00:00Huh?
01:00:00It's the guy that kicked your ass.
01:00:02I saw the whole thing.
01:00:04Ah, Joe, come on.
01:00:05Let me get this straight.
01:00:05He kicked your ass?
01:00:09I can't be having no wigglings in my familia.
01:00:12Mi familia?
01:00:13That's like Fatos Locos shit, dude.
01:00:14No Spanish for family.
01:00:15Hey, shut up!
01:00:17These two lovebirds got something of mine,
01:00:19and I want it.
01:00:20They do?
01:00:20We do?
01:00:22Yeah, you do.
01:00:23Give me the black duffel bag.
01:00:25Oh, wait.
01:00:25So you do know each other, then?
01:00:27I'm really confused.
01:00:29Somebody get this problem.
01:00:30I mean, Joe is in?
01:00:32I think that...
01:00:33Hey!
01:00:33Don't think, okay?
01:00:35Just give me my black bag,
01:00:37and I'll only hurt you, Romeo.
01:00:39I won't hurt your pretty girlfriend.
01:00:41Fiance.
01:00:42Whatever.
01:00:43Just give me my frickin' bag.
01:00:45I love it.
01:00:46What, you think I'm playing?
01:00:48I love it.
01:00:49I love it.
01:00:51Kate!
01:00:52Get your hands off her!
01:00:54Now!
01:00:55Where are you?
01:00:55Get off, guy!
01:00:57Come here, fool.
01:01:03Brother?
01:01:03I do not like where this is going.
01:01:05Me neither.
01:01:06What do you want to do?
01:01:07I think we've entered into a serious moral dilemma.
01:01:10And that is?
01:01:11Well, we've made a previous commitment to the gig.
01:01:13Yeah.
01:01:13And being that usually we're men of our word,
01:01:15I would say we stick to a contract.
01:01:17And to make things worse,
01:01:18they've already given us a deposit.
01:01:20Which I spent.
01:01:21On beer.
01:01:22Yeah.
01:01:22So, Kate and Nate though,
01:01:24we kind of owe them to give us a ride.
01:01:25Exactly.
01:01:27This is where our usual comfort level of black and white
01:01:29is now in a crappy little gray area.
01:01:31I hate crappy little gray areas.
01:01:33Yeah, and it's terrible for painting walls too.
01:01:35It looks like you're in an insane asylum.
01:01:37Feels like I'm an insane asylum.
01:01:39You should never do that if we redecorate our house.
01:01:41You wanted to go with leopard print though, that's awful.
01:01:43Yeah, no, it's like a 70's hooker.
01:01:45Oh yeah, that'd be cool.
01:01:46Alright, so what are we gonna do?
01:01:48So we gotta make a choice.
01:01:50Paper, rock, scissors.
01:01:50Best of three.
01:01:52Alright, I got live, you got die.
01:01:53So if I win, Kate and Nate die?
01:01:56Yeah, and then if I win, we let them live
01:01:58and we'll kill everyone else.
01:01:59Okay, cool.
01:01:59Ready?
01:02:01Aw, draw.
01:02:02Alright, touche.
01:02:03Okay.
01:02:05I got one.
01:02:06You don't know what I'm gonna do next.
01:02:07I do.
01:02:09The exact same thing.
01:02:10Alright, so let's kill everyone.
01:02:12Okay, everybody else dies.
01:02:13Okay.
01:02:15Alright, alright, listen.
01:02:17It's in the trunk of my car, right?
01:02:19It's all there, now let her go.
01:02:21She ain't going nowhere.
01:02:22Like I was gonna let you go anywhere.
01:02:25Here, get that warm for me.
01:02:33Talk to me, Daddy.
01:02:35Yeah, baby doll.
01:02:37Yeah, we got it.
01:02:38Well, what do you need us to do?
01:02:40Hey, what are you driving?
01:02:44Hybrid.
01:02:45Hybrid.
01:02:46Yeah.
01:02:48Hey.
01:02:49Yeah, it's in a hybrid.
01:02:51A hybrid?
01:02:52Yeah, it's economical.
01:02:54Just bring me the bag.
01:02:55We'll see you in a sec.
01:02:57Miss you.
01:02:58Yeah.
01:02:58Alright, baby doll.
01:03:04We on, girl?
01:03:05Yeah.
01:03:06I'll go around back.
01:03:08Careful.
01:03:08Strap up.
01:03:10You too?
01:03:10Hm.
01:03:13Hey, boss.
01:03:18Keep the girl.
01:03:19Shoot the hero.
01:03:20No!
01:03:20Nate!
01:03:24No!
01:03:33I love you, Kate.
01:03:39I think it's time we do our laundry.
01:03:42Okay.
01:03:42Let's do this.
01:04:04Step!
01:04:05It's a cleaner!
01:04:06Cleaning!
01:04:08Cleaning!
01:04:09Cleaning!
01:04:10Cleaning!
01:04:13Cleaning!
01:04:15Cleaning!
01:04:16Cleaning!
01:04:19Cleaning!
01:04:21Cleaning!
01:04:25Cleaning!
01:04:27Cleaning!
01:04:30Cleaning!
01:04:32Cleaning!
01:04:33Cleaning!
01:04:35Cleaning!
01:04:35Cleaning!
01:04:36Cleaning!
01:04:36Cleaning!
01:04:36Cleaning!
01:04:37Cleaning!
01:04:39Cleaning!
01:04:45If you don't want us, won't make them suffer
01:04:57Stay the way, blow it down
01:05:20Somebody get my bag!
01:05:26Alright, you can get out of here and I'll help you.
01:05:28Alright, first you want me to walk, now you want me to run?
01:05:31Dude, you know I want to have a career as male model at this game.
01:05:34You already got this!
01:05:35Go!
01:05:37Don't let them iron!
01:05:51Hi.
01:05:51Hi.
01:05:52Where are we? Just here.
01:05:53Yeah, we gotta get out of here, Nate.
01:05:55Nah, I'm not leaving the guys.
01:05:56What?
01:05:57They're doing just fine without us.
01:05:59Nah, I'm not leaving them, alright?
01:06:00I took the bag.
01:06:01It's my fault.
01:06:02We both did, remember?
01:06:04Listen, Nate.
01:06:05We're in this together, for better or worse.
01:06:08Hey, you two, okay?
01:06:09Huh?
01:06:09You wanna get out of here?
01:06:10Yeah.
01:06:11What about your brother?
01:06:12Oh, he's fine.
01:06:13We do this all the time.
01:06:13This was the job you had to get to?
01:06:15No.
01:06:16You two were the job we had to get to.
01:06:17Us?
01:06:18You're a hitman?
01:06:19One second.
01:06:22Oh, so Joe hired us to kill whoever robbed the jewelry store and get the duffel bag back.
01:06:26And then we came here to get all the info.
01:06:27It was you two, huh?
01:06:28Who would've thunk it?
01:06:29Crazy.
01:06:30Oh my god.
01:06:30Yeah.
01:06:31But, like I said, we owe you.
01:06:32So, can we get out of here?
01:06:34Yeah.
01:06:35Yeah.
01:06:35Oh, hold on a second.
01:06:37I'm just kidding.
01:06:38We can roll.
01:06:39Okay.
01:06:40Let's go.
01:06:40Let's go.
01:06:42I'll cover you.
01:06:43Come on.
01:06:43You guys are dead!
01:06:44Dead!
01:06:45You hear me?
01:06:46Hazy, go!
01:06:48Go, Franklin!
01:06:50Ready?
01:06:51Go!
01:06:52What the hell is this?
01:06:54Frank!
01:07:01Close his head off, Joe.
01:07:03Let her go, Franklin!
01:07:04Put your guns down, everyone!
01:07:06I said put them down!
01:07:10Let me guess, this is the cleanest?
01:07:11Hi.
01:07:12How you doing?
01:07:12Big fan.
01:07:14Jesus.
01:07:15What's the matter, Joe?
01:07:16No one likes you anymore?
01:07:18It's about loyalty.
01:07:20It's hard to come by.
01:07:21You should know about that.
01:07:22Yeah.
01:07:24Grant, you're beating to him.
01:07:27Hey, Franklin.
01:07:29You're next.
01:07:30Yeah, I'm Trevor, boss.
01:07:31It's all good, baby doll.
01:07:34Here!
01:07:34Take!
01:07:35I know these two sold me out.
01:07:36Baby doll and China doll.
01:07:38My girls!
01:07:39Yeah, well, I know why you keep them around.
01:07:41Both are down to take one for the team.
01:07:43You know I can't complain.
01:07:44I think that means he did both of them.
01:07:47I think that means he did both of them.
01:07:49This must be the lucky couple.
01:07:53Don't know me.
01:07:55Look, the whole thing was my idea, right?
01:07:58So, I took the bag, I'll take the blame.
01:08:01See that, Joe?
01:08:03That's a real man.
01:08:04Taking responsibility for his actions.
01:08:06Yeah, real hero.
01:08:07It's crazy, ain't it?
01:08:09Go ahead.
01:08:09Take your girl and leave.
01:08:10Hey, no way!
01:08:11Yes way!
01:08:13Go on, get out of here.
01:08:15Don't forget your bags.
01:08:16Hey, no way!
01:08:17That's mine!
01:08:17You freaking bag!
01:08:24Go on, lover boy.
01:08:27Hey, Kate.
01:08:28See you guys later.
01:08:30Alright, so, uh, what now?
01:08:33Looks like we've got a lot of unfinished business in this room, don't we?
01:08:36It's all about business, Franklin.
01:08:37So, it's this.
01:08:38Well, we already got paid, so, uh, we'll help him out.
01:08:43Many hands make light work, boys.
01:08:45See, that's a good line.
01:08:46You should try that.
01:08:47You two ready?
01:08:48Yeah, let's make this quick.
01:08:50We've got a wedding to go to.
01:08:52Alright, Joe.
01:08:53Let's get crazy!
01:09:06I kind of like the thought you're an ice cream coat that I have yet to lick.
01:09:13I like the thought that you're an apple that I have yet to pick.
01:09:18But though I'm loving all this sweet anticipation, I'm ready for you to exceed my expectations.
01:09:39You're like the first day that I got my favorite blankie, or like the first time Bonnie and Clyde held
01:09:48up a bank, he said.
01:09:50Though I'm enjoying all this sweet anticipation.
01:09:54Marriage is what brings us here to me.
01:09:56Ready for you to exceed my expectations.
01:10:02And there's a line of thoughts as Christmas Eve's much better than Christmas Day.
01:10:08Do you, Nathan, take Catherine to be your lawfully wedded momma?
01:10:13I do.
01:10:15And, Catherine, do you take Nathan to be your lawfully wedded hunk a hunk of burdened love?
01:10:24I do.
01:10:30Well, let's shake right and roll.
01:10:31You can go ahead and kiss the bride.
01:10:37Flip in the tongue, man!
01:10:39Come on!
01:10:39It's his wedding!
01:10:40They're so many about time for this, dude.
01:10:42Touche.
01:10:45Good for them.
01:10:46They deserve it.
01:10:47Yeah.
01:10:48I wonder where I go from here.
01:10:50You ever think about getting into the cleaning business?
01:10:52Yeah.
01:10:53We make a killing.
01:10:55Oh, dude, that was terrible.
01:10:56I thought that was funny.
01:10:57No.
01:10:57A little bit?
01:10:58What'd you think?
01:10:59Tell them it was terrible.
01:11:00What, am I the den mother now?
01:11:01Let's go.
01:11:07I can't tell I'm hurting inside.
01:11:10I've got a smile that disguises me when the world becomes empty without you.
01:11:14I couldn't tell then I've built a line of photo flower, but broken with all the dreams and the moments
01:11:19that we've shared.
01:11:25So, where are you taking me now, hero?
01:11:30It's a surprise.
01:11:42Nate, I love you.
01:11:45I know.
01:11:46I know.
01:14:40This is my world cause I say so.
01:14:43All day yo, I smoke and play Halo.
01:14:45Want a chick with a fat ass like J-Lo.
01:14:48Want more tattoos than Danny Frejo.
01:14:50I want it all, give me the keys to that truck.
01:14:53I'm swimming in money like I'm Scrooge McDuck.
01:14:55Ish, would you rather be broke or be me?
01:14:58I want a chinchilla embroidered plasma TV.
01:15:01I'm sick of this.
01:15:02I don't care if it's ridiculous.
01:15:03You can call me constipated cause I don't give a shit.
01:15:06Yeah, I throw rhymes for the hell of it.
01:15:09Don't give a fuck, but that doesn't mean I'm celibate.
01:15:11I'm crazy like that, it's just call me fat smith.
01:15:14Bangin' actress with her back on the mattress.
01:15:17You think this shit is funny?
01:15:18Here, here's this dummy.
01:15:20I came to get the money.
01:15:22Cash Fools, everything around me.
01:15:24Cream.
01:15:24Get the money.
01:15:25Get the money.
01:15:27Cash Fools, everything around me.
01:15:29Cream.
01:15:30Dollar, dollar bill, yo.
01:15:32Cash Fools, everything around me.
01:15:34Cream.
01:15:35Get the money.
01:15:36Get the money.
01:15:37Cash Fools, everything around me.
01:15:39Cream.
01:15:41Dollar, dollar bill, yo.
01:15:42Keep the groove.
01:15:44Shoot the hero.
01:15:44Shoot the hero.
01:16:12We're like Cain in Kung Fu.
01:16:14You're an idiot.
01:16:15No, we are, dude.
01:16:16Look at us.
01:16:18Three men on a journey.
01:16:20Uh-oh, here comes the philosophy.
01:16:22What?
01:16:24Nothing, Grasshopper.
01:16:25Come on, grace us with your wisdom.
01:16:26Tell me it's going to always like this.
01:16:28Like what?
01:16:29Nothing.
01:16:30Seriously, though, man, look at us.
01:16:32We're like wandering do-gooders.
01:16:34It's our destiny.
01:16:35Maybe that's the reason that we got into the cleaning business in the first place.
01:16:38Because we can use our talent for the greater good.
01:16:40We're like real-life superheroes.
01:16:43Well, for being superheroes, your outfit sucks.
01:16:47Touche.
01:16:47But I'm dead freaking serious.
01:16:49It completes the circle.
01:16:51We got our main man, Frankie, now.
01:16:52And he's like another badass to our team.
01:16:55And we're like the three musketeers.
01:16:56It's more like the three amigos.
01:16:57That was a good line.
01:16:58That was a good line.
01:17:00I'm officially in now.
01:17:01Hell yeah.
01:17:02Not flat.
01:17:03You should be.
01:17:05It's all over now, man.
01:17:07My brother's right.
01:17:08I think we are meant to be together.
01:17:10Oh, God.
01:17:11It's like the holy trinity, dude.
01:17:26I kind of like the thought you're an ice cream coat that I have yet to lick.
01:17:33I like the thought that you're an apple that I have yet to pick.
01:17:39But though I'm loving all this sweet anticipation, I'm ready for you to exceed my expectation.
01:18:04I like the first time Bonnie and Clyde held up a bank, he said.
01:18:10Though I'm enjoying all this sweet anticipation, I'm ready for you to exceed my expectations.
01:18:22And there's a line of thoughts as Christmas Eve's much better than Christmas Day.
01:18:29It's so much better before all the secrets are given away.
01:18:34But though I'm all for the night before in stockings yet unscented.
01:18:42I'm ready to be the girl you take for granted.
01:19:09And there's a line of thoughts as coffee smells much better than the taste.
01:19:16And the way they talk, you think the rest of the cup just goes to waste.
01:19:21But though I'm all for lighting coffee scented candles, should I choose to?
01:19:44You're like a brand new pair of jeans yet to be worn in.
01:19:49But you know the best jeans are the jeans that look like the jeans that you were born in.
01:19:57Though I'm loving all this sweet anticipation, I'm ready for you to exceed my expectations.
01:20:07Come on, exceed my expectations.
01:20:32Come on, exceed my expectations.
01:20:32You
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