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Break the Game (2023) [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full
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00:18:59I've been doing a lot of soul searching over the last several years and it led me back
00:19:07to the point where I wanted to sink my life into Breath of the Wild and stream it.
00:19:35What do you do for a living?
00:19:38And feel free to not answer any of this, obviously.
00:19:48Oh golly gosh, I don't even know your name is Alex.
00:19:54Now I know.
00:19:59I'm from another galaxy.
00:20:02Ah no, I live alone.
00:20:04I kind of like to have my own space, but also if I'm alone then it's lonely.
00:20:15Well, I should probably go to sleep.
00:20:18Oh you just got home, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:20:21I gotta go to bed, I have to.
00:20:26I guess I kind of stream so that sometimes I am part of people's daily routine.
00:20:31It's kind of cool to have people tuning in regularly and kind of coming along the journey with me.
00:20:39Uh, peace out, goodbye.
00:20:43I bet you can bow spin to do that.
00:20:45But bow spinning also doesn't get as many hits so you need more stamina, so...
00:20:50Narcy, what's up?
00:20:52Sitting stable at like 10 plus viewers, it's just like, it's fucking amazing.
00:20:57Like, seriously, like...
00:20:59It means, it really means so much to me that you guys fucking like...
00:21:04Come around to watch me be bad at games.
00:21:06If I could have any pet, it would be either a skunk or a bat.
00:21:17Katarina says...
00:21:19Dgirl, I like your username.
00:21:22D stands for dick and to death to your foes.
00:21:24Dgirl, have you ever had soylent?
00:21:27It tastes really good.
00:21:30I'll go to bat for Narcy on a lot of things, but not for that fucking soylent shit.
00:21:35What was that on the ground?
00:21:36Was that like a nut or something?
00:21:40Or should I say nut?
00:21:42Nut.
00:21:43Nut.
00:21:44This is the way I am to people I like.
00:21:46So if I'm giving you shit, it's probably because I like you.
00:22:03I really love the people here, honestly.
00:22:06Not to get all like soppy and shit.
00:22:09I'm getting a little emotional.
00:22:11This is magical.
00:22:13Oh my god, there's a star.
00:22:20They're gobstoppers.
00:22:27Dgirl, will you be my Dgirlfriend?
00:22:39I think I'm dating Narcissori?
00:22:41I don't know.
00:22:47Dgirl, I've been thinking about you being here.
00:23:11I like the view up here.
00:23:13I feel like I'm in a high point of my life suddenly.
00:23:15And I think this game is partially to thank for that.
00:23:23Someone chopped down a tree and like launched it super far.
00:23:27But then Link pulls the paraglider
00:23:30and it actually maintains the momentum from the ragdoll physics.
00:23:34And I'm like, oh my god.
00:23:44Okay, like look at this tree, right?
00:23:50This looks bad actually.
00:23:52This one right here.
00:23:53This one.
00:24:11Oh, damn it.
00:24:13I guess we want to go more this way.
00:24:20New voicemail from death.
00:24:22Hey there, sister.
00:24:24I'm calling up to say hi.
00:24:25Give me a call sometime.
00:24:27Alright, I love you.
00:24:29Five new voicemail from mom.
00:24:30Hi, my darling.
00:24:32You should hear a voice.
00:24:34Alright, sweetheart.
00:24:35I love you in there.
00:24:36I love you.
00:24:37Call me when you're free.
00:24:39Bye.
00:24:42Oh.
00:24:49Oh.
00:24:50Wait, why?
00:24:54Alright, this is doable, I think.
00:24:56We can do this.
00:24:58Let's fucking go.
00:25:01No, that's what I call speedrunning.
00:25:05She just started a run.
00:25:06Let's go.
00:25:08I'm disrupting speedrunning much like I did in 2011.
00:25:12I want to be the single greatest player of this game.
00:25:159 hours and 38 minutes.
00:25:175-0-4-11.
00:25:183-51-50 now.
00:25:20There's a whole journey to it.
00:25:22There's the magic to it.
00:25:23The streams.
00:25:24Learning and improving.
00:25:26Keeping people company during lonely nights.
00:25:45I can't get up this.
00:25:47It's too high up.
00:25:48But I think I can jump it with this.
00:25:50You take a bomb.
00:25:51You place the bomb.
00:25:53Then it's like shield.
00:25:55Backflip and detonate.
00:25:56Forward air jump.
00:25:58Shield surf.
00:25:58You're paraglider.
00:26:01And then you climb up the wall.
00:26:03And you do it all really fast and accurately.
00:26:05So let me try.
00:26:06It's like.
00:26:10Wait.
00:26:10It's hard to do.
00:26:16Oh my god, come on.
00:26:21Come on, why didn't that work though?
00:26:23What the fuck?
00:26:25I started today feeling very adequate.
00:26:27And now I feel like kind of inadequate.
00:26:34It's okay.
00:26:35It's okay for me to be a mess on stream sometimes.
00:26:37It's okay.
00:26:38I have self-image issues like a lot.
00:26:43Being trans, you walk this fine line between being like a goddess and a monster.
00:26:55It's hard for me to explain this, but sometimes it feels like I am really not enough or I'm not
00:27:07enough or I'm not like where I want to be with myself.
00:27:10I don't want to feel like I'm like this.
00:28:02A group of people showed up and we're like, we're with something.
00:28:06We're looking for Jake for people who are having trouble.
00:28:09and then i said i'm not jake and then i said well what's your name and then i was like
00:28:16if you don't know my name then go away and then they're like okay but can we leave a card
00:28:22and i'm
00:28:22like okay fine mental health crisis services i wish i asked them more questions like how the fuck
00:28:34like why are you here
00:28:51i need a fucking cloth
00:28:57so
00:29:03so
00:29:10so
00:29:17so
00:29:22so
00:29:29so
00:29:37so
00:29:44so
00:29:51so
00:29:59so
00:30:14so
00:30:30i think i've been very desperate for any attention and thus the people who show me negative
00:30:36attention i seek it out
00:30:40i've read more hate than you can imagine
00:30:43i've read thousands and thousands of hate messages towards me
00:30:49kill trans people and like kill these freaks
00:30:53cosmo's not my name my name isn't cosmo my name isn't cosmo my name is narcissism
00:30:58all this fucking like transphobic shit i feel like i started to internalize some of that
00:31:03shit
00:31:03watching this stream right now in hopes you swore me to kill yourself
00:31:06but don't be surprised when you find cars over there
00:31:09our systems are fucked in the head
00:31:11sign ways of rejection
00:31:12all ways of this happens
00:31:14and
00:31:17people reacted really negatively to anything that was apparently some sort of weakness
00:31:21so i fucking blew up the weaknesses i pressed myself up against the wall and did some crazy
00:31:27shit
00:31:28please support me please
00:31:30flush all your credibility and dignity down the toilet
00:31:33okay would you shut up
00:31:35maybe i've caused a little damage
00:31:36certainly other people have caused some damage to me
00:31:39it's like i want to respond to all their comments
00:31:42what's going on in your life on the other side of the screen
00:31:44another fucking coward goodbye
00:31:46you are coming into random people's chats being a bigot
00:31:50being a total piece of shit
00:31:55i complain about people being negative towards me
00:32:01you talking shit about me on youtube not even a week ago
00:32:13then it causes another whole group of negativity to spawn off of that
00:32:20i can almost date these people into spreading my image all over the place even though it's really
00:32:24negative
00:32:31i'm so lost
00:32:33i'm so lost
00:32:35how do i navigate this fucking online experience
00:32:54how are you i've been a bit emotional lately
00:32:58it's great to be emotional and it's great to be deep and aware of what you are of the world
00:33:04and everything but mostly you shouldn't be crying a lot
00:33:10i know i know
00:33:22i should probably be calling more often
00:33:31yeah i know
00:33:32that's all i do is think about you every day
00:33:36bye bye
00:33:37bye bye
00:33:38let's just drink all of our sorrows away
00:33:58i feel like i'm in a mental rut
00:34:00i'm never gonna pull myself out of it
00:34:07okay
00:34:09if anyone in my chat is like a counselor or a therapist
00:34:14dealing with people who have depression
00:34:17let's have a conversation publicly
00:34:21twitch must be my all and my everything
00:34:25it must be
00:34:27it has to be public
00:34:30no stop doubting the power of the internet
00:34:42i feel isolated
00:34:43i feel it
00:34:47i feel really lonely i don't feel like i have friends
00:34:53i think that i don't know how to be friends with people
00:34:56me interacting with people irl is like me being really shy and closed
00:35:02and then like having trouble connecting that's my experience
00:35:13i have this queen size bed
00:35:15it's like all i want to do is like roll around with someone
00:35:19i'm like i just don't
00:35:27i'm just alone
00:35:43i'm just alone
00:35:44alright
00:35:56oh my god
00:35:58oh my god
00:35:58and oh my god
00:35:59why
00:36:02jesus
00:36:03too much is happening right now
00:36:07okay
00:36:09voice chat with me right now
00:36:15it's ringing
00:36:16it's ringing
00:36:16it's ringing
00:36:17hi
00:36:18i don't know like where do you feel we are right now
00:36:20i feel not alone right now
00:36:23yeah
00:36:23i feel like i'm sharing my time and space with you
00:36:26yeah but i don't
00:36:27i don't get to like wake up next to you and shit
00:36:29that's almost not even dis- okay like look
00:36:31there's like physical into this
00:36:33it is absolutely dis- okay it is it is it is
00:36:37it bums me out man
00:36:38let's go with my guitar
00:36:46it bums me out
00:36:52it bums me out
00:36:55it bums me out
00:36:57yeah this is beautiful
00:36:58it bums me out
00:37:03your voice is so beautiful
00:37:05it bums me out
00:37:08it bums me out
00:37:10and if i could be
00:37:13in your apartment
00:37:16and you could be
00:37:20in southern california
00:37:24altar
00:37:29altar
00:37:30altar
00:37:32altar
00:37:32me
00:37:33yeah
00:37:34yeah
00:37:393
00:37:402
00:37:411
00:37:42go
00:37:45It's me!
00:37:46It's D girl.
00:37:49This is only our first date, come on.
00:37:51You gotta fucking take it slow.
00:37:54I opened up Narcy's fridge.
00:37:55It...
00:37:57is only Soylent
00:37:59and then a fucking jar of peanut butter.
00:38:03I died the moment I opened it.
00:38:07It tastes like fucking mold.
00:38:10So, she keeps her room dark.
00:38:14Fucking garbage bags
00:38:15in the window.
00:38:17It's kind of a nightmare.
00:38:20I'm gonna be
00:38:21nesting so fucking hard.
00:38:23Nesting. We're gonna upgrade some
00:38:25shit in your apartment.
00:38:27I'll fucking upgrade it.
00:38:30Alright, if you want me to like
00:38:33one minute streak. Yeah.
00:38:35For sure. Thank you for tuning in.
00:38:37I'll see you...
00:38:39later.
00:38:49We've been improving my place, basically.
00:38:51Yeah, I...
00:38:53trying to make her have a apartment like an adult.
00:38:56I'm actually like super hungry suddenly.
00:38:57I want some pizza now.
00:38:59We can just get it.
00:39:01But...
00:39:01We need to like end this stream.
00:39:03No, do another attack.
00:39:07We need to start here.
00:39:09I'll be right back when I get Chisa.
00:39:14It's been good.
00:39:15There's this person there with me.
00:39:17And like I'm not being like harshly judged.
00:39:20And like...
00:39:21We're like doing cool shit.
00:39:23And like improving things.
00:39:24And it just felt really like...
00:39:25I felt like this bond.
00:39:27And it was really fucking good.
00:39:29And I just started like crying really hard.
00:39:30And it was like incredibly fucking like...
00:39:32It felt almost like therapeutic.
00:39:34It felt like extremely good.
00:39:36I think she's back.
00:39:38Cool.
00:39:42Hey.
00:39:43Hey.
00:39:45Cool.
00:39:46How are you just going?
00:39:48Um...
00:39:49I still haven't left the plateau.
00:39:52I'm about to start another one I guess.
00:39:54Although I could use a slice.
00:39:56I could use a slice.
00:39:58Okay.
00:40:00We're going back to IRL.
00:40:04Okay.
00:40:11We're going back to IRL.
00:40:16Talking to the end.
00:40:17How soon is going thisio?
00:40:23You can see that.
00:40:25How soon is it.
00:40:26How soon is it?
00:40:30First of all...
00:40:32If you're already at one in the old하면...
00:40:33Trying to reinvent.
00:40:33Waiting for you.
00:40:36Lubbock trying to do it.
00:40:41Oh...
00:40:45You got some two?
00:41:27Right back in it.
00:41:28Let's go.
00:41:29Come on.
00:41:30Come on.
00:41:31This is the run.
00:41:37Yes, first try.
00:41:42We're heading to the airport later tonight.
00:41:44And that'll be the end of our...
00:41:46...five-day-gaycation.
00:41:49I'm squeezing every last possible second out of the day, Nursi.
00:41:55Yes, this is world record pace.
00:41:57Adrenaline pumping through my veins.
00:42:00Holy shit.
00:42:11Oh my fucking god, no.
00:42:15I think I just lost one minute.
00:42:21I've failed the tree launches every fucking run lately.
00:42:23I don't understand why.
00:42:25Still a minute ahead.
00:42:38I staced this it too, really.
00:42:40So it didn't go.
00:42:42It wasn't disconnected from the bottom yet.
00:42:45I'm so bummed.
00:42:47Like, what the fuck?
00:42:48Okay, it's over.
00:42:49It's actually over.
00:42:50It's fucking sad.
00:42:51That's it.
00:42:51Like, there's no more.
00:42:53That's it.
00:42:54I could have had it and I didn't get it.
00:42:55It's over.
00:42:57The run's over.
00:43:03It's time to go.
00:44:03It's time to go.
00:44:18Okay, I'll use those to play games or something.
00:44:20I don't know.
00:44:21How's life for everybody?
00:44:24I missed you too.
00:44:27But it's been replaced by missing Nursi even more.
00:44:30Like, I really like her.
00:44:33So nice.
00:44:36The line is it was a gaycation, but...
00:44:40We just haven't gotten...
00:44:42We haven't, like, hammered out shit.
00:45:06What I miss is feeling like the universe loves me.
00:45:10And that everything was good.
00:45:15A lot of my ego is built out of the impact I had before.
00:45:20And I feel like I don't have that impact anymore.
00:45:24And it really hurts me.
00:45:27It feels like I've failed if I can't reach that.
00:45:33Hello?
00:45:33Hello?
00:45:34Let's hash out everything we are to each other right now.
00:45:36I'm going to start a new run while we're chatting.
00:45:40So you're saying that, like,
00:45:42you would kind of want to develop something with me?
00:45:46I mean, I'd like to think I'm building a relationship.
00:45:51I've kind of designed my life in a way
00:45:54where I can just focus in on a few things
00:45:57that I really want to work towards.
00:46:00Okay, so what do you want?
00:46:02I want to be idolized by my viewers.
00:46:0620,000 viewers or bust.
00:46:25If this is the record,
00:46:26then we must post a Reddit thread
00:46:28called Absolutely Disgusting Record by Narcissa.
00:46:33Do I still think I can get over 10,000 viewers
00:46:35in Breath of the Wild?
00:46:36Yes, I do.
00:46:37I certainly do.
00:46:43Clear your minds for this jump.
00:46:49We're actually on pace for fucking sub 340.
00:46:53It's unbelievable.
00:46:57I want this run.
00:46:59I want to finish this run.
00:47:01I want this to be the run.
00:47:08Oh my god.
00:47:12That was fucking miraculous.
00:47:14Oh my fucking god.
00:47:30338.31.
00:47:32This beats the record by minutes.
00:47:36May I ask?
00:47:39Do you really remember me?
00:47:42Peace and love.
00:47:43Peace and love.
00:47:44And remember,
00:47:46trans girls rule Breath of the Wild.
00:48:03The current world record holder on Zelda Ocarina of Time.
00:48:09You will immediately have an audience, right?
00:48:11Oh, absolutely.
00:48:12Several thousand usually tune in for Zelda.
00:48:20I was at the precipice.
00:48:23And now,
00:48:25I'm like a fallen star.
00:48:28I want to feel like I'm on top of the world.
00:48:33I feel like I'm being swallowed by it.
00:48:47Ugh.
00:48:49What's wrong with me?
00:48:53No one in the world gives a fuck.
00:48:56It turns out life is not a fairy tale after all.
00:49:03It turns out everyone abandons the fuck out of you.
00:49:06Everything I've done up until now,
00:49:09it was all over nothing.
00:49:12I will never succeed in the way I succeeded in the past.
00:49:20This stream will all be fucking big again.
00:49:22It'll never fucking happen.
00:49:23I'm not relatable anymore.
00:49:25It doesn't matter if I'm the best fucking player in the world of this game.
00:49:27No one fucking cares.
00:49:29I've gone from being the superstar to the fallen star,
00:49:33plummeting into Earth like a fucking comet,
00:49:36slamming down, creating a shockwave,
00:49:38and burying in my fucking chasm so deep
00:49:41as everyone piles on and pushes me down
00:49:43into the caverns of darkness
00:49:45where I'm crowned the queen of hell.
00:49:50They think I'm a deranged freak
00:49:52who's delusional and shouldn't kill myself.
00:49:56They only fucking watch me if I'm raving.
00:50:00So the only solution is just to fucking go nuclear.
00:50:09I am the monster that you all created.
00:50:15These fucking people watching and observing me
00:50:17as I sit here and fucking literally struggle.
00:50:21I fucking hate this game.
00:50:23I hate people who watch video games.
00:50:24Their fucking twitch and viewership is so fucking boring.
00:50:26Y'all have such fucking poor tastes.
00:50:28I fucking hate you.
00:50:53So what happens if I call that phone number?
00:50:56You get to talk to your counselor.
00:50:59And my phone is right here.
00:51:05Suicide prevention lifeline.
00:51:07Um, well, I cut off all my hair,
00:51:09and I guess it was, like, an act of self-harm.
00:51:18And feeling kind of hopeless.
00:51:24It's, like, people want to see me fail.
00:51:29And anytime there's any sort of sign of weakness,
00:51:31they pinpoint it and, like, harass me
00:51:33and, like, tick out of, like, a scab
00:51:34until I'm squeezed and I'm bleeding.
00:51:38I mean, I guess I just have, like,
00:51:39a certain level of visibility,
00:51:41so they're, like, jealous or something.
00:51:43I don't know, but, like,
00:51:43there's a lot of, like, sick, twisted feelings
00:51:45I get out of it,
00:51:46and it just makes me, like,
00:51:47feel like humanity in general is kind of evil
00:51:50and that, like, every single entity on this planet
00:51:52is just, like, self-interested.
00:51:55And that friendship is an illusion
00:51:57and that love is an illusion
00:51:58and that, like, I'm just incredibly fucking alone.
00:52:00I'm just, like, a fucking alien on this planet.
00:52:04And it just feels easier to, like,
00:52:06damage a social connection
00:52:08than it does to grow it.
00:52:11Yeah, I'll get through tonight, definitely.
00:52:16Alright, bye.
00:52:25Well, that was okay, I guess.
00:52:36Why weren't you all watching
00:52:39when I broke the Breath of the Wild record?
00:52:41I could have really used your support.
00:52:49I think I'm an attention addict.
00:52:52I think I'm an attention addict.
00:53:06I don't know.
00:53:08I don't know.
00:53:27I don't know.
00:53:52Oh
00:53:53My god
00:53:57If you did it live on streams, I
00:54:03Don't know I just hope she's gonna be okay
00:54:10Hello, hey, what do you feel I like ruin myself by cutting my hair off
00:54:18You didn't ruin yourself you just fucking
00:54:22cut your hair off
00:54:25I don't know how to just be calm and quiet during the hard moments because I feel like I really
00:54:31really want and need connection
00:54:37I feel like crying because
00:54:42I'm like grateful that you're talking to me right now happy cries are good cries
00:54:52I
00:54:52Ask you something when would you be free if I was to calm whenever whenever
00:55:14I
00:55:15We did it it's like we're parting the birds
00:55:26I
00:55:27Like this big open
00:55:28Let's just like move in here
00:55:32This is the ocean
00:55:37How is all this even real what is reality I see all this I'm like I'm alive like this is
00:55:44a thing happening
00:55:46Yeah, I
00:55:48Can't help this happening as fuck
00:55:57Do you think your life is too filled with things if you're banned so then you're streaming yeah and you're
00:56:03cooking I
00:56:05Mean that's this kind of thing I like to do yeah, that's why I like having people around because I
00:56:08can cook for them
00:56:13Try to change your perspective so that you see the sky as like a giant lake
00:56:18Okay, and you're like
00:56:21You're above it looking down
00:56:23Do you ever want to go to outer space for some reason I feel like the view is better down
00:56:32here earth is beautiful
00:56:35I think from here and elsewhere
00:56:40I
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00:57:16Oh
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01:02:01I'm doing better now than I was like before the trip
01:02:08The time I spent there felt like it kind of healed me somewhat like I really needed that
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01:08:49Don't
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01:12:19But Katerine, honey, it's not fair.
01:12:25And up there when you can decide if it is worth it at all.
01:12:35When everything hounds you, I'll be right back.
01:12:41To carry you home, I'll be right back.
01:12:48And I'll be right back.
01:12:55And I'll be right back.
01:13:38I'll be right back.
01:13:39I'll be right back.
01:13:42I'll be right back.
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