- 1 hour ago
Merry Prince-Mas! Full Ep
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:06This is the worst Christmas ever.
00:00:13Oh, Belle, I hope I have one more holiday.
00:00:17But if I don't, my dying wish is that you be engaged by Christmas.
00:00:22Well, Grandpa, I am engaged.
00:00:28We're getting married on New Year's.
00:00:30He drove all the way here to New York with me just to meet you.
00:00:33His name is Todd. Maybe you'll get him, okay?
00:00:37Just get some rest.
00:00:38Fuck.
00:00:41Oh, yeah.
00:00:43That's it, brother.
00:00:46Fuck.
00:00:48Todd, what are you doing?
00:00:49Whoa, hey.
00:00:51Guess this is a bad time to say I want to break up.
00:00:53Todd, what the fuck? Are you cheating on me in front of me?
00:00:58I never want to see you again.
00:00:59Hey.
00:01:01What's her deal?
00:01:07Oh, don't worry.
00:01:09Your grandpa's going to make a full recovery.
00:01:11Your engagement gave him the will to live through Christmas.
00:01:17Who am I going to bring home for Christmas?
00:01:24I can't believe I have to hire a prostitute to be my fake boyfriend.
00:01:28I want to do, friend?
00:01:41Sure.
00:01:47You will be the way to live technically.
00:01:49So there's no love on earth, keeping the girls� up for Christmas.
00:01:50You all miss you here.
00:01:50Please, your highness.
00:01:51We can't do this.
00:01:53We must go back to Monrovia for Christmas now.
00:01:56No, Peterson, if I go back now, my mother will have me engaged to some boring European socialite by New
00:02:02Year's.
00:02:02No, I just, for once, I want a normal holiday.
00:02:08Ah, and we have one other issue.
00:02:11Your mother, the Queen, is on the phone now.
00:02:18Hi, Mother.
00:02:20Henry, I want you to come home at once.
00:02:22I can't, Mother, because I'm spending the holidays with my girlfriend.
00:02:30Girlfriend? Nonsense, really.
00:02:33Who is she? Oh, don't tell me. She's American.
00:02:36She is an American. She's an American heiress.
00:02:40A shoe heiress.
00:02:43The reception, it's bad. Gotta go.
00:02:50Sir, you cannot lie to the Queen like that.
00:02:55Why on earth did you hire a model?
00:02:58Because with the photos of the model you hired, I can prove to my mother that I have a girlfriend,
00:03:04and I can have an American Christmas alone.
00:03:09Well, at least take off that silly hat.
00:03:11Oh, I like it.
00:03:18What the hell are you doing? You hit me.
00:03:21What's wrong? You hit me.
00:03:22Well, you're the idiot that wasn't paying attention.
00:03:24Who rides a scooter in winter?
00:03:26God, you Americans are so self-involved.
00:03:28Okay, listen, jerkwad. I am late, and I'm trying to meet somebody, and...
00:03:32Shit. He's wearing a Santa hat.
00:03:34He's the prostitute I have in.
00:03:36It's you.
00:03:41This must be the model Peterson hired.
00:03:44Yes.
00:03:45It's me.
00:03:47All right, why don't we get this photo over with, right? I don't have time for all the...
00:03:51regality.
00:03:52Hey, wait, why are you taking a photo of me?
00:03:54Why doesn't she know about the photo?
00:03:56She must not be the model Peterson hired.
00:03:59Oh, so you just go around taking photos of strangers?
00:04:01That's pretty creepy. You know that, right?
00:04:03Oh, my God, she thinks that's creepy.
00:04:05Miss, I'm...
00:04:06Okay, look, I don't know you, and I don't care. I have to be at my grandpa's in an hour.
00:04:09She has no clue. I'm a prince.
00:04:11Look, I can only pay you $5,000 for you to come home with me.
00:04:14You have an email?
00:04:15American girls are so forward.
00:04:17$5,000?
00:04:19Dude, listen, I don't have much time, and that's my entire savings. Do we have a deal or not?
00:04:24Listen, there must be some sort of confusion.
00:04:30One moment.
00:04:31She's just going to keep calling if I don't pick up.
00:04:34Mother, I don't have time for this.
00:04:35I know you're with your new fiancée. I just wanted to call and say she's gorgeous.
00:04:41You have my blessing to stay there for Christmas.
00:04:45I do?
00:04:46That's great. Okay, bye.
00:04:48Oh, my God, my mother thinks she's my fiancée.
00:04:51If I go back to Monrovia, I'll be in an arranged marriage with a snob by February.
00:04:55What is the confusion?
00:04:56I pay you to come home with me until Christmas and pretend to be my boyfriend until New Year's.
00:05:00Do we have a deal or not?
00:05:02We've got a deal.
00:05:06You've got a deal.
00:05:08Good. Who do I Venmo?
00:05:10I don't have a wallet, much less a Venmo.
00:05:13Make something up.
00:05:14Henry!
00:05:15Just Henry.
00:05:16That's the one that comes up.
00:05:18Yeah.
00:05:20Sent.
00:05:21Now, here are the rules.
00:05:22This is my grandpa's last Christmas, and he's very sick.
00:05:25I don't have the heart to tell him that I broke up with my boyfriend, and any upset could kill
00:05:28him.
00:05:29So no surprises, no lies, and also I am not having sex with you.
00:05:33Sex?
00:05:34We just met.
00:05:36This prostitute is weird.
00:05:38It's a long drive to my parents, so I'll meet you there in about six hours.
00:05:41Just show up as a normal American guy who loves Christmas, okay?
00:05:45Oh, and, um, drop the accent.
00:05:50Accent?
00:05:51Your mother wants more pics of your fiancé.
00:05:54I mean this with utmost respect, but what the hell are you doing?
00:05:59Peterson, it's perfect.
00:06:01My mother and the press will leave me alone.
00:06:03I can have a real American Christmas.
00:06:05She doesn't know who I am.
00:06:06I can just be a normal guy.
00:06:08As long as you're discreet about it, no one should know who you are.
00:06:14They won't.
00:06:16We have one hour to find American clothes for my American Christmas.
00:06:20Get some clothes for you and the guards as well.
00:06:22Soon, you and I will be in a lovely place called Buffalo.
00:06:34Oh, sweetie! I'm so glad you're here!
00:06:37Oh, let's get you inside.
00:06:40Well, if it isn't Grandpa's former favorite.
00:06:44Merry Christmas, loser.
00:06:45Are you here solo again?
00:06:51Merry Christmas to you too, Katie.
00:06:54Belle, Katie's going to need the room with the bigger bed this time.
00:06:57She has a brand new, very rich boyfriend.
00:07:01And you, of course, are coming home alone again.
00:07:06Actually, I am...
00:07:07Don't be silly.
00:07:08Mom, she's just a single loser.
00:07:11Look at her.
00:07:12She's ugly and her snatch is dry.
00:07:16Well, I can see why she's still single.
00:07:19Look at these love handles.
00:07:21Stop!
00:07:22Okay?
00:07:23You know, not all guys like more cushion for the push-in.
00:07:27Fatty.
00:07:28No more cookies for you this Christmas.
00:07:32If you keep it up, I'll shove a cookie up your ass.
00:07:34Okay, both of you.
00:07:35Now stop.
00:07:37So sensitive.
00:07:39She's just jealous because I can keep a man.
00:07:41Oh, my God.
00:07:43Does she know?
00:07:45Actually, I am seeing someone.
00:07:48Yeah, right.
00:07:50Is he imaginary?
00:07:52Are you hallucinating?
00:07:53I think you should go, Belle.
00:07:57I don't think Grandpa's heart could take the side of a single loser.
00:08:07I am not single.
00:08:09I have a boyfriend, and he's going to be here any minute.
00:08:11If you have a boyfriend, then where is he?
00:08:15If he doesn't show him, all hell will break loose.
00:08:36Darling, where shall I put these?
00:08:41Meet my boyfriend, bitch.
00:08:53Who the hell is he?
00:08:56Mom.
00:08:57Aunt Moira.
00:08:58Katie.
00:09:00This is...
00:09:01Henry.
00:09:02Henry von...
00:09:04Oh, I call bullshit.
00:09:06This is just some guy she got off the street.
00:09:10And this car, obviously a fake.
00:09:15Why are you driving a Bentley with the royal family emblem?
00:09:20Well, I'm actually a driver for the royal family of Monrovia.
00:09:32A driver?
00:09:34Like, a servant?
00:09:36That's pathetic, Belle.
00:09:38Did he come with the car?
00:09:39Well, Grandpa's definitely going to have a heart attack when he realizes how desperate you are.
00:09:48Nice to meet you.
00:09:49Thanks.
00:09:50Yes, Merry Christmas.
00:09:51Oh, thank you.
00:09:52Merry Christmas.
00:09:54Forget about them.
00:09:55Let's just try to have a calm Christmas for Grandpa.
00:09:59I'll go finish dinner preparations.
00:10:05The royal driver?
00:10:07What was your plan?
00:10:08I'll pretend to be the Prince of Monrovia?
00:10:11The Prince.
00:10:13The Prince.
00:10:14Let's imagine.
00:10:16No, no, I'm just a regular guy who likes regular American Christmas.
00:10:22Okay.
00:10:23But look, I'm not paying extra for that Bentley.
00:10:25Oh, don't worry about that.
00:10:26I'm good friends with the driver.
00:10:29Anyway, your family seems pretty intense.
00:10:34May I ask why an amazing woman like yourself needs to hire someone to be a boyfriend?
00:10:41My fiancé left me a few weeks ago.
00:10:43Grandpa's just pretty fragile, and I haven't had the heart to tell him the truth.
00:10:47I know what it feels to have to live up to your family's expectations.
00:10:53Whoever your ex is, he sounds like an idiot.
00:10:58Belle, Henry, meet my new boyfriend.
00:11:05Tom, what are you doing?
00:11:10My cousin screwed my ex?
00:11:15Hold up.
00:11:17Do you two know each other?
00:11:25Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:11:28Oh, stop.
00:11:33You're fucking my cousin?
00:11:35You say anything, and I'll tell Grandpa that you were busy getting railed by some guy while
00:11:40he was on his deathbed.
00:11:41You won't want to upset him, would you?
00:11:48No, Grandpa.
00:11:49Todd and I have never met.
00:11:52Remember when I told you my fiancé cheated on me?
00:11:54Turns out he's fucking my cousin.
00:11:57That also is her ex.
00:12:00Grandpa, I want you to meet my new boyfriend, though.
00:12:03Henry.
00:12:03Henry.
00:12:04Her boyfriend?
00:12:06Lovely to meet you, Grandpa.
00:12:09Any man who gets to be with Belle is the luckiest man in the world.
00:12:14No.
00:12:15He's a driver for the royal family.
00:12:18Allegedly.
00:12:19Oh, nice.
00:12:21Both my girls are happy and in love.
00:12:23That's going to help me make it through this Christmas season.
00:12:28Well, I hate to ruin Christmas, Grandpa, but Belle is lying.
00:12:33There is no way that this loser is her boyfriend.
00:12:38Uh, Belle?
00:12:40Is this true?
00:12:41If he finds out Henry is a cowboy, then a drama could kill him.
00:12:48This loser isn't her boyfriend.
00:12:50She paid him.
00:12:52How would you know that, Todd?
00:12:55Oh, I know a lot more than you think, loser.
00:12:58Okay, hey.
00:13:00How about you focus on your relationship instead of mine?
00:13:02Because you're lying to this family.
00:13:04It's obviously some homeless guy you picked up off the street.
00:13:07Are you paying him to screw you, too?
00:13:10Oh, well, unlike your new boyfriend, I don't have to pay to get some.
00:13:14You lying twat.
00:13:18You want another?
00:13:22Stop fighting.
00:13:23You're upsetting Grandpa.
00:13:25I'm sorry, Grandpa, but it's better that you know that little Miss Perfect is paying a prostitute.
00:13:31That's insane.
00:13:32You have no proof.
00:13:33Oh, yes, we do.
00:13:35Your Venmo receipts.
00:13:37Shouldn't have made them public.
00:13:38Look, I can only pay you $5,000 for you to come home with me.
00:13:41Your Venmo?
00:13:42Shit.
00:13:43The Venmo.
00:13:44Ah, right here.
00:13:45Looks like you paid someone $5,000.
00:13:48What the hell?
00:13:51Oh, my God.
00:13:55Wait, what are those men here for?
00:14:02What men?
00:14:09First you break my phone and then you break my face, you idiot.
00:14:13I could have done much worse.
00:14:15I'm very lucky.
00:14:16It's okay, baby.
00:14:17I could open my phone and prove Little Miss Perfect is lying.
00:14:22She Venmo'd $5,000 to some guy named Henry.
00:14:27Well, that doesn't prove anything.
00:14:30Yes, it does.
00:14:31No, first of all, why would I use my own name?
00:14:34And second, Henry is the most popular name in the United States.
00:14:38And third, look closer.
00:14:41That account belongs to a Henry Wong.
00:14:44Look at that picture.
00:14:45That's an Asian man.
00:14:47That's an Asian man.
00:14:48Then why did you pay $5,000 to some guy named Henry with a house emoji next to it?
00:14:54Thank God.
00:14:55I must have been with some random Henry.
00:14:57Okay.
00:14:58Think fast, though.
00:15:00Because Henry Wong is, um...
00:15:03He's my new landlord.
00:15:06There, there.
00:15:07It's settled.
00:15:08Now, could we please just go and have a peaceful dinner together?
00:15:12I would love that.
00:15:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:15Let's go.
00:15:18Okay, baby.
00:15:23We may have our geriatric grandpa fooled, but I don't believe that guy's your boyfriend for a second.
00:15:30What, are you trying to fuck him, too?
00:15:32Laugh all you want, but I have the man, and grandpa's gonna die soon, so I'll get the house, too.
00:15:39What are you talking about?
00:15:41Oh.
00:15:42He didn't tell you, did he?
00:15:46Everybody, I have an important announcement.
00:15:50I have been thinking long and hard over who will get the house after I'm gone.
00:15:55So I've made a decision.
00:15:58Whichever one of my granddaughters marries first, gets the house immediately.
00:16:09But, but Mom still lives here.
00:16:12Yeah, but she can live on the street, or she can rent back from us until we bulldoze it.
00:16:16You can't bulldoze it.
00:16:17Well, we've had every Christmas here.
00:16:19This is where all of our memories are.
00:16:21Maybe if you had kept your man happy, you wouldn't be in this position.
00:16:28Oh, unlike you, who's been in every position.
00:16:31I should get an award for rescuing Todd from a fish, whose only talent was to play dead.
00:16:39Okay, we need to stop fighting the hurting grandpa.
00:16:42Your whore face is hurting him.
00:16:43Stop breathing, bitch.
00:16:46Can't stand this fighting.
00:16:48Don't worry, Gramps.
00:16:49I know how to stop the fighting.
00:16:57He's proposing to her with the ring he gave me?
00:17:00Katie, the most beautiful woman on this planet.
00:17:04Will you marry me?
00:17:05Yes, Todd, yes!
00:17:07Yes, yes!
00:17:13The house is mine, the ring is mine, and the man is mine.
00:17:17Merry Christmas to me, bitch!
00:17:21Katie?
00:17:23Wait!
00:17:32What are you doing?
00:17:34Bill, will you marry me?
00:17:41Say yes!
00:17:43What are you waiting for?
00:17:44You want to keep the house, don't you?
00:17:49Grandpa does look really happy.
00:17:53Yes!
00:17:55Yes!
00:17:57A perfect Christmas?
00:18:00A double wedding?
00:18:01You hijacked my proposal!
00:18:03You hijacked me, boyfriend.
00:18:04You are so selfish, Belle!
00:18:06You always make everything all about you!
00:18:09These two losers are just trying to steal Grandpa's house!
00:18:12You weren't planning on proposing.
00:18:13Where's your ring?
00:18:14Where is it?
00:18:14Where is it?
00:18:15I have a...
00:18:16I have a ring right here.
00:18:19I didn't want to make Todd's look so pathetic.
00:18:21It's much larger.
00:18:23Wow.
00:18:23How the hell did he get that?
00:18:27It doesn't matter.
00:18:28What matters is, my two granddaughters are going to be married before I die.
00:18:35It's a Christmas miracle!
00:18:38A double wedding!
00:18:39I can hardly believe this.
00:18:41Me neither.
00:18:42Okay, but who gets the house, Grandpa?
00:18:44We were technically engaged first.
00:18:47You're right.
00:18:49That does make things more complicated.
00:18:53Your grandmother loved having Christmas in this house more than anything.
00:18:58So whoever shows the most Christmas spirit gets the house.
00:19:05It's a great idea, Grandpa.
00:19:08But if you guys would just excuse me, I would like to talk to my fiancé alone for just a
00:19:14minute.
00:19:15Yeah.
00:19:16Get it.
00:19:18Where's the ham?
00:19:21What the hell is wrong with you?
00:19:23You just proposed to me in front of my entire family?
00:19:28Look, you were supposed to be my fake boyfriend until New Year's, not my fiancé.
00:19:32I'm sorry.
00:19:33I just got caught up in the moment.
00:19:36What if you think you're going to get paid extra for this in this big ring?
00:19:38You are insane.
00:19:40You should be thanking me.
00:19:42I'm the one who saved you from your psychotic cousin getting your Grandpa's house.
00:19:46Okay, listen, buddy.
00:19:48I am not some damsel in distress.
00:19:49I don't need to be saved.
00:19:51Really?
00:19:51Because last time I checked, I wasn't the one hiring a fake boyfriend for Christmas.
00:19:56Which was going perfectly fine until you lied, said you were driver for the royal family
00:20:02of Monrovia, and then proposed to me.
00:20:05I could go out there right now and tell your family everything.
00:20:09You want that?
00:20:11What you can do is drop this annoying fish-out-of-water act and stick to the plan.
00:20:18I don't think you find me annoying.
00:20:21I think you find me quite charming.
00:20:31I find you exhausting.
00:20:34Hmm.
00:20:37And what the hell are you doing with that kind of a ring?
00:20:40Who are you?
00:20:41What are you two doing in the pantry?
00:20:47I am so sorry.
00:20:50I didn't mean to interrupt.
00:20:52Oh, no, it's okay.
00:20:54You just can't keep his hands on me.
00:20:56That's right.
00:20:57I can't get enough of my pookie.
00:20:59You two little lovebirds.
00:21:01I just came to show you where you'd be sleeping.
00:21:06Look, we fake the engagement until the trip is over.
00:21:09But until then, do not blow our cover.
00:21:12Deal.
00:21:19Peterson, I'm releasing you.
00:21:21I need you to call off the guards.
00:21:22But, sir...
00:21:24I will call you if I need you.
00:21:26Other than that, enjoy your Christmas.
00:21:28But your mother, sir...
00:21:30That's an order.
00:21:31Goodbye.
00:21:35The room isn't that big.
00:21:37No problem at all.
00:21:39We love to cuddle.
00:21:41Oh, and Todd and Katie are in the next room over.
00:21:44Great.
00:21:44I'm sharing a wall with my ex and the psycho he left me for.
00:21:48Let me know if you guys need anything.
00:21:59One bed?
00:22:01Are you serious?
00:22:03Might be hard to keep my distance.
00:22:09Don't worry.
00:22:10We won't make too much noise with all the boning we're about to do.
00:22:14Ew.
00:22:15Oh, that's right, Belle.
00:22:17You don't know how to make a man make noise.
00:22:20Mm-mm.
00:22:20Mm-mm.
00:22:21Good night.
00:22:22Mm-hmm.
00:22:23Ow, my nose.
00:22:25Oh.
00:22:29Oh, absolutely not.
00:22:31I'm not one of your clients.
00:22:32Clients?
00:22:33Hmm.
00:22:34Must be an American term.
00:22:35Well, um, I'll just take a shower and sleep on the floor, I guess.
00:22:47Oh.
00:22:55Oh, come on.
00:22:56Where's my phone?
00:23:03Okay, whatever.
00:23:05Oh, I'm sorry.
00:23:07I'm sorry.
00:23:15Oh, my God.
00:23:17Oh, my God.
00:23:18Bollocks.
00:23:19I'm so sorry.
00:23:20No, no, it's fine.
00:23:21I, I, I, I'm just, I'm just gonna go.
00:23:28Oh.
00:23:29Yeah, of course.
00:23:35May I?
00:23:36Yeah, yeah, whatever you need.
00:23:44Sorry, I even sleep shirtless.
00:23:47Hope you don't mind.
00:23:49Nope.
00:23:49Right.
00:23:54You know, it's bad enough my ex broke my heart and crashed Christmas and now we have
00:23:58to share a freaking wall with them.
00:23:59I'm sorry.
00:24:00That's awful.
00:24:02Want me to sing you a lullaby?
00:24:04No.
00:24:06Good night.
00:24:12Oh, my God.
00:24:14Are they having sex?
00:24:16Okay, this is my nightmare.
00:24:18Oh.
00:24:21I, I have an idea that might make them jealous.
00:24:23What?
00:24:24We should have sex.
00:24:30No, I, I am not sleeping with you.
00:24:32No, no, no, no.
00:24:33Pretend sex.
00:24:34We just got engaged.
00:24:35So, it would be weird if we didn't have sex.
00:24:38Right?
00:24:38Okay, so, how, how do we have pretend sex?
00:24:44Shall we?
00:24:46Bell!
00:24:47Bell, oh, my God!
00:24:49That feels so good, Bell!
00:24:51Stop, stop, stop, I'm not doing that.
00:24:59Fine, let's do it.
00:25:00Okay.
00:25:01Bell, you're the sexiest woman alive!
00:25:05Oh, Henry, this is the best sex I've ever had!
00:25:08Open your Henry order!
00:25:09Oh, my God, Bell!
00:25:11Yo, my God!
00:25:14Oh, my God!
00:25:14Just stop.
00:25:15Dad, this is crazy, it's a good idea.
00:25:17No!
00:25:19No!
00:25:41What am I doing?
00:25:43I'm paying him.
00:25:45He's a professional sex worker.
00:25:46Hey, I think that's enough pretending for tonight.
00:25:50Right.
00:25:51I guess we just got a little carried away.
00:25:55Good night.
00:25:57Good night.
00:25:58Good night.
00:26:17There's no way those two are having sex.
00:26:20I bet they're not even in the same bed.
00:26:23One way to find out.
00:26:25Huh?
00:26:30Better hurry up because round two is waiting for you.
00:26:38Did you hear that?
00:26:40Shit, I forgot to lock the door.
00:26:46I knew it!
00:27:06I could get used to America.
00:27:12Are you watching me sleep?
00:27:16Uh, no.
00:27:18Uh, um, Belle, about last night, I, uh...
00:27:27Don't fall for him, Belle.
00:27:29He has sex for a living.
00:27:31I'm probably just another client.
00:27:34Uh, we don't have to talk about it.
00:27:37I, I, I think it's best if we keep things professional.
00:27:42Professional.
00:27:43Right.
00:27:44Hmm.
00:27:45Uh, of course.
00:27:49Uh, well...
00:27:50Uh, well, I, I should probably wrap Grandpa's gift before you wake up, huh?
00:27:56Yeah.
00:27:56I could have sworn she felt it too last night, but, uh...
00:28:00Maybe she was just pretending.
00:28:12Oh, Jane.
00:28:14I think I like this, girl.
00:28:24It's perfect.
00:28:26Grandpa's gonna love it.
00:28:27I can't wait to turn Belle's sweet gift to Grandpa into trash.
00:28:34Look, we just have to get their Christmas presents at the house and we'll be fine.
00:28:42Grandpa Joe, in the spirit of Christmas, we've decided we're throwing you a holiday party.
00:28:48Katie, that's so thoughtful of you.
00:28:51It's so thoughtful of us, yes.
00:28:53Better brush up on your Monrovian lies, Mr. Uber driver.
00:28:57The party is at a Monrovian restaurant.
00:29:00Better get packing.
00:29:03If I go to a Monrovian restaurant, people will recognize me.
00:29:11No one will know I'm the prince in this cheesy Christmas sweater.
00:29:17Your Highness.
00:29:26Why is the busboy bowing?
00:29:30Monrovian custom.
00:29:33How do you do?
00:29:36Thank you for your service.
00:29:39That is the dumbest custom I have ever heard of.
00:29:42Maybe Icon actually gets away with this.
00:29:46Oh my god, it's you.
00:29:52Oh my god, it's you.
00:29:55So good to see you.
00:29:57Monrovian is such a small country.
00:30:01Listen, these people don't know who I am, so at your discretion it's appreciated, okay?
00:30:05Of course, sir.
00:30:09The busboy will show you to your table.
00:30:12Right, uh, right this way.
00:30:19The prince of Monrovian touched me.
00:30:33That's it?
00:30:34Just one gift in a cheap gift bag?
00:30:37That's what you get for having a broke fiancé.
00:30:40Well, for your information, I got this gift on my own.
00:30:43Not everyone needs a man to support them.
00:30:46Why don't you and your broke boyfriend take your shitty gift and go sit over there at the bar?
00:30:52Grandpa doesn't need anything fancy.
00:30:54He wanted a gift from the heart.
00:30:56But you wouldn't understand that, because you don't have one, do you, Katie?
00:30:59I might be heartless, but at least I won't be homeless.
00:31:02The house is mine, whoreface.
00:31:09Wow, so many gifts.
00:31:12Thanks to my finance fiancé, we got you an all-you-can-eat royal cruise to Cabo worth $200,000.
00:31:22This is very generous, indeed.
00:31:26We can all go together after you give us the house.
00:31:29Belle, did you and the help, I mean, your fiancé, get Grandpa anything for Christmas?
00:31:35Sure, it's right here.
00:31:38Oh my God, they replaced my gift with dog shit?
00:31:44Don't be embarrassed, let's see it.
00:31:49Oh my God, Belle, you ungrateful bitch.
00:31:54You got Grandpa dog shit?
00:31:56No.
00:31:57Grandpa, look what Belle and that loser got you for Christmas.
00:32:02Oh!
00:32:03Oh!
00:32:04Ugh.
00:32:18You idiot!
00:32:20Oops.
00:32:21I'm so sorry, ma'am.
00:32:22These are Jimmy Choo's!
00:32:24You got poo all over my choos!
00:32:26Get it off!
00:32:26Get it off!
00:32:28Ugh!
00:32:29Let me clean that up for you.
00:32:33Oh!
00:32:35Oh!
00:32:35Oh!
00:32:37Give me one moment.
00:32:40You asshole.
00:32:41You switched the bags.
00:32:43Where is my gift for Grandpa?
00:32:44Oh, that old suit?
00:32:46I donated it.
00:32:47I thought it was for the homeless shelter.
00:32:48You threw away my gift for Grandpa and replaced it with shit?
00:32:51To be fair, it was a pretty shitty gift to begin with.
00:32:55Guess you don't have anything to give to Grandpa.
00:32:58This is ridiculous.
00:33:00I'm going to tell him the truth.
00:33:02I'm sure you want to start another fight, Belle?
00:33:04Wouldn't that upset Grandpa?
00:33:06Huh?
00:33:07What's going on?
00:33:09Belle, wasn't I supposed to be opening your gift now?
00:33:13I would rather Grandpa think I didn't get him anything than risk his health.
00:33:17Grandpa, I'm sorry I didn't get you a gift.
00:33:21Um, that's right.
00:33:23She didn't get you just one gift.
00:33:26She got you many.
00:33:29Peterson!
00:33:31Voila!
00:33:42Well, let's see what you got, loser.
00:33:45I'm in finance.
00:33:46He does investments for J.P. Morgan and you?
00:33:49You opened doors for people.
00:33:52There's no way you can afford better gifts than one.
00:33:56Oh, really?
00:33:57Yeah.
00:33:59Grandpa Joe, Merry Christmas.
00:34:02The royal crystal glass statue signed by the late, great King George III on his deathbed.
00:34:10That's his signature.
00:34:12How does he even have that?
00:34:14Second.
00:34:17The deed to a castle.
00:34:19In the Czech Republic.
00:34:20It's quite roomy, actually.
00:34:22Indeed.
00:34:23Oh, and, um, Belle mentioned that you liked my Rolex, so you may have it.
00:34:31You're giving me your watch?
00:34:33Yes.
00:34:34No, this is too generous.
00:34:36Please, I insist.
00:34:37I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Grandpa, but there's no way a bottom feeder who sits
00:34:43in traffic for a living could afford this.
00:34:47It's fake.
00:34:49Looks real to me.
00:34:50Mm-mm.
00:34:51That's not King George III's signature.
00:34:54Because this is his real signature.
00:34:57Yeah, look at that.
00:34:59That means that this is worthless.
00:35:07What are you doing?
00:35:10You just smashed a $20 million statue.
00:35:14His signature looked like that because he was on his deathbed.
00:35:20He was dying.
00:35:22Oh, he can't.
00:35:23Please, just stop this fighting.
00:35:26Please, stop all this insanity.
00:35:29Grandpa's heart can't take this.
00:35:31Fine.
00:35:31For the sake of Christmas, we'll pretend the statue was real.
00:35:36But this...
00:35:37Who even has handwritten deeds anymore?
00:35:40Hello?
00:35:41Like, no one.
00:35:46That deed was written in 1756, before computers were invented.
00:35:55Yeah, right.
00:35:57And I'm sure this royal Rolex right here is ancient, too, huh?
00:36:01Get that back.
00:36:02Get that back.
00:36:03How you make a fool out of Grandpa with your cheap knockoff on Christmas of all days,
00:36:08you're a sadistic psychopath.
00:36:12Todd, stop it!
00:36:14Whatever.
00:36:14I can get Grandpa 10 Rolexes if I wanted, and all of them would be real.
00:36:21Oh, only the royal Rolex watch has diamond gears.
00:36:27You just smashed the royal Rolex.
00:36:35Oh, fuck.
00:36:36That watch is real.
00:36:37Of course it's real.
00:36:39All of this is real, you fool.
00:36:41Oh, you idiots!
00:36:44The castle is real.
00:36:46We could have used that money.
00:36:50You brought this man into our families.
00:36:55This man who ruins Christmas.
00:36:58All of the gifts are destroyed.
00:37:00Well, um, not, uh, not every gift, Grandpa Joe.
00:37:08This one is, uh, from Belle and I.
00:37:21This is the true meaning of Christmas.
00:37:26Katie, you two keep doing this, and you better find a hotel to stay in it, Chris.
00:37:37Hey, hey, hey.
00:37:38What the hell are we gonna do now?
00:37:40Rebel will for sure get them the house.
00:37:42Once I expose Belle's boyfriend as a fraud, she's never getting the house.
00:37:48J.P. Morgan just promoted me.
00:37:51I have access to the royal accounts.
00:37:54I can prove he's not on the royal payroll.
00:37:57You're a genius, baby.
00:38:04I would like to give a formal apology for destroying the gifts, but I promise I'll replace all of them
00:38:10thanks to my new promotion.
00:38:13Cheers to my new loaded fiancé, J.P. Morgan's new account manager to the royal family.
00:38:23He's the account manager for the royal family.
00:38:26He'll find out who I am.
00:38:31He's gonna say that you don't really work for the royal family.
00:38:33We're screwed.
00:38:33J.P. Morgan, it's okay.
00:38:34Don't worry about that.
00:38:36This guy is full of crap, and I'm going to prove it.
00:38:40Congratulations, Todd.
00:38:42Now tell me, how did you land such a marvelous job?
00:38:46Well, I've been courting the royal family for months now, treating them to five-star dinners, designer suits, and yacht
00:38:54parties.
00:38:55I bet you've never been to Lake Wommel, the royal family, have you, bitch?
00:39:01That's a lie.
00:39:02I've never heard of this man in my life.
00:39:05That's great.
00:39:07Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to use the loot.
00:39:20Hello?
00:39:22Your Highness, sir.
00:39:24Our new account manager is misappropriating funds.
00:39:27He's spending it on yacht parties and five-star dinners.
00:39:31Look into it.
00:39:32Of course.
00:39:33Of course, Your Highness.
00:39:34I am so sorry.
00:39:35I will take care of this.
00:39:36Great.
00:39:40Gary!
00:39:41Bring me the royal account!
00:39:44Well, it's the man of the hour.
00:39:47I was just about to tell everyone about how you're lying to all of them.
00:39:51You're not a driver for the royal family.
00:39:55What are you talking about?
00:39:57Grandpa, this liar isn't even employed by the royal family because he isn't on the royal payroll.
00:40:05I'm not on the payroll because I get paid in Monrovian cash.
00:40:13Really?
00:40:14Then where is it?
00:40:15Okay.
00:40:16I've got some right here.
00:40:20My face is on the cash.
00:40:22Let's see that Monrovian cash.
00:40:32Only an insane person would rip up cash.
00:40:34And isn't it a felony?
00:40:36She's right.
00:40:36Ripping up cash is a felony.
00:40:38Come on, explain yourself.
00:40:40That's right.
00:40:40It's a felony in America.
00:40:42But in Monrovia, it's a tradition.
00:40:47That's right.
00:40:48It's a New Year's tradition.
00:40:49We tear up the first bill of the year.
00:40:55Darn it.
00:40:55I'm all out of cash.
00:40:57What a hot tradition.
00:40:58You see, I live with the royal family, so typically they cover all my expenses for my services.
00:41:06Technically not a lie.
00:41:08Really?
00:41:08Then how do you buy things?
00:41:11Like fake gifts.
00:41:12Oh, I know.
00:41:13You stole them.
00:41:15No, I don't steal.
00:41:16I use my card.
00:41:19See?
00:41:21That's the royal Monrovian credit card.
00:41:24Oh, please.
00:41:25Anyone can tell that card is fake, just like everything else about him.
00:41:28Well, there's one way to find out.
00:41:30Put the entire party on that card, hmm?
00:41:33Waitress?
00:41:34Could we get the check?
00:41:36Over there.
00:41:37The total is $10,000.
00:41:40Hey, look, you don't actually have to pay.
00:41:41We can just tell them.
00:41:42You don't have anything to prove.
00:41:44Run the card.
00:41:49Thank you so much, Your Highness.
00:41:53The card went through?
00:41:54The card works.
00:41:57Okay, great.
00:41:57My fiancé covered your entire Christmas party, so let's drop it.
00:42:00Now, not unless you stole it from the royal family of Monrovia.
00:42:04I demand that you read the name on that card.
00:42:07Whose name is it?
00:42:09Oh, no.
00:42:10My real name is on the card.
00:42:17Who the hell is Harold Bunrovingham?
00:42:20He doesn't know my real name.
00:42:22It's in this card.
00:42:23He stole it.
00:42:24Wait, let me get up.
00:42:27Why does this have the royal insignia on it?
00:42:29You stole the prince's card?
00:42:32Well, you should be sent to jail for identity theft.
00:42:36What sort of a person did you bring into our family, Belle?
00:42:40Tell me, tell me it's not true.
00:42:42No, I, I didn't, he didn't.
00:42:44That's...
00:42:44You stole a credit card.
00:42:47No, no, I, I didn't steal the card.
00:42:50The prince, um, gave it to me.
00:42:54The prince, uh, gave it to you?
00:42:57All right, give him a call, then.
00:42:59Have him confirm it.
00:43:00Yeah, call him and put it on speakerphone.
00:43:03Well, I can't call the prince.
00:43:04The prince is me.
00:43:06Okay, everybody stop.
00:43:08Okay, the truth has to come out.
00:43:10Grandpa, I am so, so sorry.
00:43:14Henry has been lying to everybody.
00:43:16Henry can't call the prince because he is the prince.
00:43:26Him?
00:43:30Well, then I'm the Sultan of Brunei.
00:43:34I think my waitress has been drinking.
00:43:36You should go before I get you fired.
00:43:40Honestly, if he's stealing the royal credit card, who knows what else he's capable of?
00:43:44Aunt Moira is right.
00:43:45You are a danger to this family, and I'm going to call the cops.
00:43:49You're finished.
00:43:50Okay, you have to tell him the truth.
00:43:52You could go to jail for life.
00:43:53I have a feeling this will all be sorted out soon.
00:43:56No, you don't understand.
00:43:57In America, what you do for a living is not legal.
00:44:01What I do for a living?
00:44:02What the bloody hell are you talking about?
00:44:06Yes.
00:44:06Well, cops are called.
00:44:08You're finished, Uber boy.
00:44:10You're going to be spending the rest of your life behind bars.
00:44:17Oh, perfect timing.
00:44:18You're under arrest for embezzlement.
00:44:20Even if he proves she's not embezzling, they'll find out he's a cowboy and lock him up forever.
00:44:25Officer, I swear there must be a misunderstanding.
00:44:30I'm...
00:44:33Not you, him.
00:44:35Me?
00:44:36Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:44:37I told you guys.
00:44:38What are you talking about?
00:44:39Uh, Demas, you're under arrest for embezzling funds from J.P. Morgan and the royal family of Monrovia.
00:44:44No, I don't know what you're talking about.
00:44:47Hmm, 200K cruise ship, yacht parties, designer suits sound familiar?
00:44:50This is a setup.
00:44:53My future son-in-law would never do that.
00:44:55Yeah, you should arrest him for fraud and identity theft.
00:44:58He schemed this entire thing.
00:45:01Just give me one phone call.
00:45:03I will call the CEO of J.P. Morgan and he will clear all of this up.
00:45:10Huh, there he is right now.
00:45:12Huh, thank God you called, sir.
00:45:14You are fired, fuckwad!
00:45:16You have been stealing from J.P. Morgan for months.
00:45:19Enjoy prison, asshole!
00:45:23Whoa.
00:45:25Baby, baby.
00:45:26You believe me, right?
00:45:27You believe me, don't you?
00:45:28You bail me out.
00:45:28You love me.
00:45:29You love me.
00:45:30Don't insult me, Todd.
00:45:31I don't date poor people.
00:45:33We're done.
00:45:36Babe, babe, that's not possible.
00:45:38I can't go to jail.
00:45:39I'm scared of dropping the soap, baby.
00:45:44Okay, how did you pull that off?
00:45:45How do you know people at J.P. Morgan?
00:45:47Well, I should tell you the truth.
00:45:48We, um, we're together.
00:45:51Oh, my God.
00:45:53He has clients at J.P. Morgan.
00:45:55You're welcome.
00:45:56No, actually.
00:45:57It's okay, the details aren't important.
00:45:58You got me the house and that's what matters.
00:46:02You can wipe that smug smile off of your twat face.
00:46:06You don't have the house yet.
00:46:10Grandpa said whichever granddaughter got married first wins the house
00:46:13and your whore of a daughter is single now, so I win.
00:46:17No, Grandpa said whoever has the most Christmas spirit gets the key, including me.
00:46:24And you can't exclude my darling daughter just because she's single.
00:46:28Mom, stop calling me that.
00:46:31Tomorrow, we have a bake-off.
00:46:34And whoever bakes the best Christmas cookies wins the house.
00:46:41Daddy, what do you think about cookies?
00:46:46Grandmother loved cookies.
00:46:50I think it's a lovely idea.
00:46:52Fine.
00:46:53Deal.
00:46:53How festive.
00:46:55And you better bring tissues for when you sob over your homeless bitch mother.
00:47:02Well, if you'll excuse us, Aunt Moira, I've got to go find a recipe to kick your ass.
00:47:09But, Mom, I can't bake.
00:47:12I'm just a single loser.
00:47:16Pull yourself together.
00:47:17We are going to win that bake-off and get you the house,
00:47:21even if we have to put gramps in the hospital.
00:47:23Do you want to put gramps in the hospital?
00:47:25No, but I'll make damn sure that Belle's cookies will.
00:47:35Are you ready to bake Christmas cookies for Grandmother?
00:47:38Oh, yeah.
00:47:39Who do you think?
00:47:40You can come into Grandpa's kitchen after what you did to my daughter?
00:47:44You got my fiancé arrested.
00:47:46Yeah, well, he was my fiancé before you spread your legs.
00:47:50You bitch!
00:47:51Do not touch my fiancé.
00:47:55Whatever.
00:47:56When Grandpa tastes our cookies,
00:47:58he'll know exactly who deserves the house.
00:48:01The kitchen is taken.
00:48:04You'll have to bake with the crack addicts under the bridge.
00:48:09Bye.
00:48:11Bye.
00:48:17Where are we going to find the kitchen?
00:48:20I want to save the house,
00:48:22but really all I wanted to do
00:48:24was make cookies for Grandpa's house Christmas.
00:48:26Uh, just give me a moment.
00:48:33Peterson, I need you to find me
00:48:36in a state with a nice kitchen.
00:48:39But, sir, it's the Christmas holiday
00:48:41and we're in Buffalo.
00:48:42Just find it.
00:48:44When do you expect to move in?
00:48:4620 minutes.
00:48:59I've never been to a royal estate before.
00:49:01Hey, how long has the royal family
00:49:02had a place in upstate New York?
00:49:04It's, uh,
00:49:05fairly recent.
00:49:10Ah!
00:49:12A bowl.
00:49:13Made what's the move, this.
00:49:15There you go.
00:49:17I, um,
00:49:19gotta be honest,
00:49:20I, uh,
00:49:21never baked before.
00:49:22Well,
00:49:24it's time to learn.
00:49:48My grandma used to bake with me every year.
00:49:51She loved Christmas.
00:49:54So how come your family
00:49:55never did this with you?
00:49:57Hmm.
00:49:58My parents were always
00:50:01preoccupied with work.
00:50:03My dad was, um,
00:50:05not around very much.
00:50:07Yeah.
00:50:08Mine too.
00:50:09Is he not coming home for Christmas?
00:50:10No, he,
00:50:11he died a few years back.
00:50:14So sorry.
00:50:15My granddad died a few years back.
00:50:18It must have been hard.
00:50:19It suddenly became
00:50:21a very big responsibility.
00:50:23I'm sure it was very hard for you as well.
00:50:26Not really.
00:50:28I mean,
00:50:28he really wasn't around much,
00:50:29and it's not like he was a good person.
00:50:33You know,
00:50:33he lied to my mom a bunch,
00:50:34and she gave him way too many chances,
00:50:37so...
00:50:37But that's why I have my rule.
00:50:40Lie to me,
00:50:41and you're done.
00:50:42Great.
00:50:43If I tell her I'm really a prince,
00:50:44she'll never forgive me.
00:50:46Oh.
00:50:48You missed a spot.
00:50:51May I?
00:50:55Silent night
00:50:56I only have one wish
00:50:59for the shooting star
00:51:01Holy night
00:51:04Send me someone to love
00:51:07so I...
00:51:09Wait.
00:51:11Does she not like me?
00:51:14Look,
00:51:15I want you to know
00:51:15I don't care who you are.
00:51:18Oh,
00:51:19I...
00:51:19Santa Claus
00:51:21Do you know who lives?
00:51:23Send this arrow
00:51:25Straight to my heart
00:51:27Waterfall
00:51:28In love this Christmas
00:51:30Santa that would be
00:51:31The greatest gift of all
00:51:34Send me an ex-a-star
00:51:48Can we take this
00:51:50to the royal bedroom?
00:51:51Yes.
00:51:59I...
00:51:59Belle, I...
00:52:01I...
00:52:01I just
00:52:02can't
00:52:03quite yet.
00:52:04Wait,
00:52:05what do you mean?
00:52:06I can't sleep with her
00:52:07if I'm lying to her
00:52:08but if I tell her the truth
00:52:11I could lose her.
00:52:12I...
00:52:13Belle,
00:52:13I...
00:52:14I...
00:52:14I...
00:52:15I just can't.
00:52:20You must not like me.
00:52:24Belle...
00:52:25Wait.
00:52:26No,
00:52:26it's fine.
00:52:27No,
00:52:28really,
00:52:28I should get back to
00:52:29processing the cookies anyway,
00:52:30so...
00:52:31No,
00:52:31it's...
00:52:43this cookie can be
00:52:45just for grandpa.
00:52:49Here.
00:52:58All right,
00:52:58well,
00:52:59the cookies need to cool
00:52:59before I can frost them,
00:53:00so we should
00:53:02clean up.
00:53:03Oh.
00:53:09Look at their basic
00:53:11boring-ass
00:53:12bitch cookies.
00:53:13They should be
00:53:14grateful.
00:53:15we're making
00:53:16their cookies
00:53:16a little bit better
00:53:17with some laxative.
00:53:22Grandpa will
00:53:23poop his pants
00:53:24and blame it
00:53:25on Belle.
00:53:29I'm gonna go put the
00:53:30frosting on the cookies.
00:53:37Oh,
00:53:39those are
00:53:40beautiful,
00:53:41sweetheart.
00:53:42They look delicious,
00:53:44Belle.
00:53:48What do we have here?
00:53:50Three-year-olds on TikTok
00:53:52could have made
00:53:52better cookies.
00:53:53But they could never
00:53:54make an elaborate
00:53:56gingerbread house
00:53:58that was made
00:53:59by my perfect
00:54:00daughter for you.
00:54:01You cannot compare
00:54:02this gingerbread mansion
00:54:04with basic dough turds.
00:54:08How did they
00:54:09make that?
00:54:10I don't think
00:54:11they did.
00:54:12My goodness.
00:54:14That's magnificent,
00:54:16Katie.
00:54:16You must have
00:54:17worked days.
00:54:18Katie is
00:54:19absolutely
00:54:20exhausted
00:54:21from all of
00:54:22that gumdrop
00:54:23gluing.
00:54:23But lack of sleep
00:54:24is a small price
00:54:26to pay for
00:54:26Yuletide Spirit.
00:54:28Very impressive
00:54:29house.
00:54:30Must have taken
00:54:31a lot of work.
00:54:32But not from you.
00:54:34Because you
00:54:35purchased
00:54:37a house
00:54:38at a bakery.
00:54:45How dare you
00:54:46accuse us
00:54:46of purchasing
00:54:47this from a bakery?
00:54:48With a fake
00:54:49receipt.
00:54:50It has your
00:54:51signature.
00:54:53You use
00:54:54Grandpa's credit card
00:54:55to buy
00:54:56the gingerbread house.
00:54:57You're just
00:54:58stalling
00:54:58to prevent
00:54:59Grandpa
00:54:59from trying
00:55:00Belle's turd cookies.
00:55:02You're right, Katie.
00:55:03Grandpa should try one.
00:55:04Because it's
00:55:05actually homemade.
00:55:07Right.
00:55:08Here.
00:55:10Enjoy.
00:55:13Please.
00:55:14It's like
00:55:14bottom shelf
00:55:15Betty Crocker.
00:55:17Actually,
00:55:17it's Grandma's
00:55:18recipe.
00:55:18That way
00:55:19she can still
00:55:20be here
00:55:20even though
00:55:21she's gone.
00:55:22You understood.
00:55:24Christmas spirit
00:55:25assignment
00:55:26perfectly, Belle.
00:55:27I can't like
00:55:28her cookies
00:55:29more than mine.
00:55:30He won't
00:55:30once he's
00:55:31hospitalized
00:55:32for dehydration.
00:55:34Go ahead, Dad.
00:55:35Take a bite.
00:55:36Why do I tell?
00:55:48It tastes just
00:55:49like your
00:55:51grandmother's.
00:55:55Why aren't
00:55:55the laxatives
00:55:56working?
00:55:56Maybe it takes
00:55:57a while for the
00:55:58drugs to start
00:55:58working.
00:55:59What?
00:55:59What to start
00:56:00working?
00:56:01Sugar levels!
00:56:02We all know
00:56:03Grandpa's sugar
00:56:03levels are so
00:56:04important.
00:56:05By sugar levels,
00:56:06do you mean
00:56:07the laxatives
00:56:08that you put
00:56:09on our cookie?
00:56:11The only reason
00:56:12that Grandpa
00:56:13is not sick
00:56:14right now
00:56:14is because
00:56:15we threw
00:56:16out that cookie.
00:56:18We didn't do
00:56:19anything to
00:56:19your cookies.
00:56:20Well,
00:56:21then,
00:56:22why don't
00:56:22you give it
00:56:23a try?
00:56:24I'll try
00:56:25your gross
00:56:26cookie.
00:56:38what?
00:56:40What?
00:56:41The world?
00:56:46No.
00:56:48Oh, okay.
00:57:00Right.
00:57:06Oh, that's right.
00:57:08I didn't throw out that cookie.
00:57:09I left it right here on this plate.
00:57:12You're eating that cookie.
00:57:18Oh, God.
00:57:19No.
00:57:20Oh, oh.
00:57:22Oh.
00:57:23Oh.
00:57:24Oh.
00:57:24Oh.
00:57:24Oh.
00:57:25Oh.
00:57:27Oh.
00:57:29Katie, you could have killed Grandpa.
00:57:31That wasn't me.
00:57:32The laxatives were in your purse.
00:57:34I saw them.
00:57:35Oh, right.
00:57:36Another lie.
00:57:37Just like your gingerbread house.
00:57:38I admit.
00:57:39We bought the gingerbread house.
00:57:40But I would never hurt you, Grandpa.
00:57:42I am disappointed in you, Katie.
00:57:44With my heart condition, I could have died of dehydration.
00:57:50Why isn't everything my fault?
00:57:52It was Belle.
00:57:53Belle didn't bring a fraudster into this house.
00:57:55She didn't break all of my Christmas gifts.
00:57:58And she didn't put laxatives in the cookies.
00:58:02But.
00:58:02I think you and your mother should go stay at a hotel.
00:58:08But, Grandpa.
00:58:09I.
00:58:10Enough.
00:58:11Of your shenanigans.
00:58:13Belle.
00:58:15The key to the house is yours.
00:58:17Thank you, Grandpa.
00:58:20All I wanted was a place for mom to live.
00:58:30Why is the queen calling you?
00:58:33Oh.
00:58:34Um.
00:58:38Ah, that's just a little inside joke that I have between me and my mom.
00:58:44Just obsessed with the royal family, I guess.
00:58:49Yabby.
00:58:50Hi, Mom.
00:58:53Mother, why are you calling me?
00:58:55You said you would leave me alone until New Year's.
00:58:57Is that any way to talk to your mother, Henry?
00:58:59Since you bought an estate in the armpit of America, hmm,
00:59:05stopped responding to Peterson,
00:59:07called off the guards,
00:59:09and failed to send me any photographs,
00:59:11I thought we'd spend Christmas together
00:59:14and find out exactly what's going on.
00:59:16No, we can't spend Christmas together.
00:59:19I'm in Buffalo.
00:59:22Give me the phone.
00:59:24Yes?
00:59:25We would love to invite your family for Christmas.
00:59:29Henry's family is our family.
00:59:31How is mom coming to Christmas
00:59:33without everyone finding out she's the queen?
00:59:35She'd like to speak with you.
00:59:40Glad somebody understands hospitality.
00:59:46Why is the Royal Caravan in our driveway?
00:59:49Also, we're outside.
00:59:50Peterson gave us the address.
01:00:02Oh, is that the prince?
01:00:07That would be my parents.
01:00:11They work for the royal family, too.
01:00:16As servants.
01:00:18Oh, okay.
01:00:20Pardon me.
01:00:21One moment.
01:00:24I'll be right back.
01:00:34Ah, there you are.
01:00:36What's going on, Henry?
01:00:38I thought your girlfriend was an heiress.
01:00:40This house is rather small.
01:00:43About that, she's not an heiress.
01:00:48She's a regular American.
01:00:51A commoner?
01:00:53An American?
01:00:54Henry, are you trying to kill me?
01:00:56What else aren't you telling me?
01:00:59She doesn't know that I'm the prince?
01:01:03Or that you're the queen and king?
01:01:08What in God's name does she think we are?
01:01:11Servants?
01:01:13Oh, no.
01:01:15Henry?
01:01:15Where are you?
01:01:17If she sees you dressed like this, she will know I'm the prince.
01:01:20Please, please, go change.
01:01:22I like this girl.
01:01:23Please, go.
01:01:24Go.
01:01:27Hey.
01:01:29Where are your parents?
01:01:32They needed a moment to freshen up a little.
01:01:36Let's go this way.
01:01:40Consider it, my dear.
01:01:42Do you remember how dumb I was when I was his age?
01:01:46When I was chasing after you?
01:01:48I refuse to pose as a commoner.
01:01:51Besides, what the devil would we wear?
01:02:05Happy holidays.
01:02:12It's lovely to meet you.
01:02:16Well, these are my parents.
01:02:20Vicky?
01:02:21Vicky?
01:02:22And, uh, Eddie.
01:02:26Oh, thank you, m'lady, for your hospitality.
01:02:32This must be the guest house.
01:02:36She's pretty.
01:02:38We're in America.
01:02:39I take that as a compliment, Mother.
01:02:41Something's not right.
01:02:43I love your necklace.
01:02:45So expensive for someone who...
01:02:49cleans toilets for a living.
01:02:51It was a gift from Elidy the Queen
01:02:54for cleaning Flo so well.
01:02:57You know, our floors are absolutely filthy.
01:03:01You wouldn't mind cleaning them while you're here for us, would you?
01:03:03I normally don't speak to the hell, but I'll make an exception for you.
01:03:07Well, aren't you a peach?
01:03:10I'm ready to give them both the royal smackdown.
01:03:14I think it's time to set the table.
01:03:15Would you like to help me, Vicky?
01:03:17Help?
01:03:18Would you be willing to set our table just like you would for the royal family?
01:03:23I mean, I'd really like it.
01:03:26She's never set a table before in her life.
01:03:28She'll give herself away.
01:03:31Right, Governor.
01:03:39Wow.
01:03:44I haven't seen such a beautiful table setting since my wife was alive.
01:03:51Cheers to new beginnings.
01:03:54Welcome, Vicky and Eddie, to our family.
01:03:59Cheers.
01:04:01Americans are so loud.
01:04:04And, ew, there's so much dairy in their food.
01:04:06My arteries are clogging just looking at this.
01:04:09Oh, don't be so stiff, Vicky.
01:04:12I quite like it.
01:04:13And look at our boy.
01:04:16He's never looked happier.
01:04:22We must be getting on.
01:04:27You owe me.
01:04:29I can drive you right now.
01:04:31Oh!
01:04:33I insist.
01:04:34That would be lovely.
01:04:36We could use the time to get acquainted.
01:04:40I hate her.
01:04:41Ever since we were little, she's always gotten everything.
01:04:44And now she gets the house!
01:04:46Don't you worry about this shitty house.
01:04:48We are gonna get you a palace.
01:04:51But how?
01:04:52We're gonna follow those servants back to the royal estate
01:04:55and beg you the prince.
01:05:14Oh, my God! It's the prince!
01:05:21Come to me, my prince!
01:05:24Madam, I am not the prince.
01:05:26That's exactly what a secret prince would say.
01:05:29I know a prince when I see one.
01:05:33Marry me! Make me your princess!
01:05:34Madam, madam, madam! I am not, madam! Madam, madam! Madam, madam!
01:05:38I am not, madam! Please!
01:05:40Uh-oh.
01:05:43Oh, dear!
01:05:45Katie, what are you doing?
01:05:47What does it look like? I'm getting a prince.
01:05:49Bow to me, bitches. I'm your queen now.
01:05:53My first act of business? You're all fired.
01:05:56That man is not a prince. He's a servant.
01:06:00What? I...
01:06:02I touched a servant?
01:06:07I...
01:06:08I tried to warn you, madam!
01:06:11Bo?
01:06:12Can we a little chit-chat inside for a moment?
01:06:15Is my own mother going to give up my identity?
01:06:21Uh...
01:06:21Mother, can't it wait?
01:06:24We have loads to prepare for, for...
01:06:27Christmas.
01:06:28Don't question my authority, Henry.
01:06:31You must obey me.
01:06:33Uh-oh.
01:06:35Be inside.
01:06:38I'll fake for the family, but I won't lie to her.
01:06:43What's your plan with my son?
01:06:46Well, I really like him, but I can't be with him because of his job.
01:06:52Well, his occupation does ask lots of him.
01:06:55Never enough to go round.
01:06:57Great. So he's not just a prostitute.
01:07:00He's a busy prostitute.
01:07:01He's been through a lot since his grandfather died.
01:07:04But, it's a family business.
01:07:08Wait, so...
01:07:09him and his grandfather both had sex with people for a living?
01:07:12What?
01:07:13You think my Henry and my beloved father are prostitutes?
01:07:17Wait, but if he's not a prostitute, then what is he?
01:07:20No!
01:07:22Don't!
01:07:29Don't!
01:07:33Have a conversation without me.
01:07:36Where were you talking about?
01:07:38Well, I was just inviting Belle and a grandpa and a mum to the Royal New Year's Ball.
01:07:44The Royal Ball?
01:07:45Seriously?
01:07:46Yes.
01:07:48That's when the prince will reveal his identity and stop his American shenanigans.
01:07:55Oh my gosh, this is incredible!
01:07:57Grandpa's gonna be so excited.
01:07:59God, I can't wait to tell him.
01:08:01Oh, I...
01:08:07Why are you dressed like a prince in the family portrait?
01:08:11Out with it, Henry.
01:08:14Well, uh...
01:08:16The Royal Family had us painted like royalty for our years of service.
01:08:25Okay.
01:08:27I'm gonna go tell Grandpa.
01:08:30Why did you invite her to the ball?
01:08:32She'll know I'm the prince.
01:08:34That's the point, Henry.
01:08:36I would any woman not want to fall in love with a prince.
01:08:40You think she loves me?
01:08:41I'm not blind, darling.
01:08:43And if you love her, you'll tell her the truth and stop lying.
01:08:48But... but... what if I...
01:08:49tell her the truth and she doesn't forgive me?
01:08:53It's a risk you'll have to take.
01:08:55But if you don't tell her you're the prince before the ball, I will.
01:09:11Everyone got an invitation to the Royal New Year ball except me?
01:09:15And I licked a servant!
01:09:18You expected to be invited after the way you treated Henry's parents?
01:09:21This is bullshit!
01:09:23Get me an invitation now!
01:09:25I would love to get you one.
01:09:27Except... I'm just a lowly driver.
01:09:30Remember?
01:09:33I'll get an invitation anyway.
01:09:39Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:09:42Ah, yes.
01:09:46Oh!
01:09:47Oh my gosh!
01:09:48I'm so sorry!
01:09:49I'm so clumsy!
01:09:51Excuse me, ma'am.
01:09:51Do I know you?
01:09:53No!
01:09:53No, no, no!
01:09:54Of course not!
01:09:54But... you know what?
01:09:56You are so handsome!
01:09:58I like you!
01:09:59I'm pleased, madam!
01:10:01Thank you!
01:10:08Time to go bag a prince.
01:10:13Hey, babe.
01:10:14You know that sex tape you have a you and Belle?
01:10:17I want everyone at the ball to know little Miss Perfect is a dirty little bitch.
01:10:23Did Belle receive the gifts I sent over this morning?
01:10:27What... what gifts are you talking about?
01:10:29Come on, this way.
01:10:31We are here to dress the family for the royal ball.
01:10:34With the exception of, and I quote, the trashy cousin.
01:10:37No!
01:10:38No, absolutely not!
01:10:39Please, you need to leave!
01:10:40Now!
01:10:41These are orders of the queen!
01:10:43This is not the way to be treating your royal stylist!
01:10:46Uh, why is the royal stylist here?
01:10:53Who are these people?
01:10:54This is quite normal for...
01:10:56For, uh, try not to lie, Henry.
01:11:00Christmas present from the queen!
01:11:05And why would the queen care about us?
01:11:07Because the queen is a very generous woman.
01:11:13And Belle, listen, I...
01:11:15Your... your highness!
01:11:17Uh-uh!
01:11:18I mean, uh, Henry.
01:11:19We have to go back to the palace!
01:11:21Your mother needs you!
01:11:23This way!
01:11:23Uh, wait, your highness?
01:11:25Okay, Henry, what is going on?
01:11:27Why is everyone acting so weird?
01:11:29These people are here to help you get ready.
01:11:31I will explain everything at the ball.
01:11:34I promise.
01:11:37I...
01:11:43Whatever happens tomorrow, I want you to know that...
01:11:47This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
01:11:51Oh, and...
01:11:53I left you a gift.
01:12:05I left you a gift.
01:12:07What did he mean, whatever happens?
01:12:17Wow.
01:12:22Sweetheart, you look beautiful.
01:12:27Dad, want to have some champagne?
01:12:38Too bad your garage sale tiara doesn't cover your whore face.
01:12:42What are you even doing here?
01:12:44Forget Todd.
01:12:46We came to bag Katie a prince.
01:12:48Where is he?
01:12:49I don't care about the prince.
01:12:51I'm here to see Henry.
01:12:52Aww.
01:12:53Did your fiance dump you again?
01:12:55He's probably cheating on you.
01:12:57And you're so used to being a cuck.
01:13:00He's not cheating on me.
01:13:01Really?
01:13:02Then where is he?
01:13:03He's busy working.
01:13:05Come on.
01:13:06The guy takes secret phone calls and leaves all the time?
01:13:09Taken from me, he's probably boning someone else.
01:13:13Henry did need to tell me something.
01:13:15Maybe they're right.
01:13:16Maybe there is someone else.
01:13:18And after tonight, he might see you a little differently.
01:13:23What are you talking about?
01:13:25You'll see.
01:13:26Just wait for the show.
01:13:29Now, let's go bag a prince for my little princess.
01:13:39See that guy over there?
01:13:42Him?
01:13:43Of course.
01:13:46He asked me to give you this slideshow to play.
01:13:50If it's for the prince, I guess it's okay.
01:13:52I guess it's okay.
01:13:56God, she's perfect.
01:13:58I have to tell her the truth before it's too late.
01:14:04You look so beautiful, Belle.
01:14:07Um, Belle, there isn't much time.
01:14:09Can we talk?
01:14:10Oh, God.
01:14:11He wants to talk because there's someone else.
01:14:15I know that this was just a contract thing, and I didn't mean to lie to you.
01:14:20I can't believe this is happening to me.
01:14:23Again.
01:14:23God, I'm an idiot.
01:14:25It's... I'm fine.
01:14:27Okay, I already know.
01:14:29What?
01:14:30You know?
01:14:31How?
01:14:32Look, I just... I wish you'd told me that you were in love with somebody else before...
01:14:35Wait a second.
01:14:37You... you think I'm in love with someone else?
01:14:39No.
01:14:40There is no one else...
01:14:43but you.
01:14:46Oh, good.
01:14:48Because I am in love with you.
01:14:51I love you too, Belle.
01:14:53You know, I haven't felt what family's supposed to feel like since Grandma died.
01:14:57But you brought that feeling back.
01:14:59And you gave me the American Christmas I always wanted.
01:15:02Well, if there's no one else, then what did you want to tell me?
01:15:06I, um...
01:15:08I don't want to work for you.
01:15:10I want to be with you.
01:15:12But, um...
01:15:13I'm not the person I said that I was.
01:15:15I'm actually...
01:15:16Your Highness!
01:15:19Henry, you have to go.
01:15:21I have your jacket.
01:15:22Forgive me, I... I'm sorry.
01:15:25Your Highness?
01:15:26I'm sorry.
01:15:27What the hell is going on?
01:15:34Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for His Highness, King Edward of Monrovia,
01:15:40and Her Majesty, Queen Victoria.
01:16:01And for the first time publicly in the United States, Prince Harold von Monrovingham of Monrovia.
01:16:27Oh, my God.
01:16:30He's a prince.
01:16:34That's what he was trying to tell me.
01:16:36He's the prince of Monrovia.
01:16:38I'm gonna...
01:16:39I'm gonna...
01:16:39I knew I liked this kid.
01:16:44He's the prince?
01:16:45What the fuck?
01:16:47He's the prince?
01:16:48That means...
01:16:50I asked the Queen of Monrovia to scrub our toilets.
01:16:53Oh, my God!
01:16:55Okay.
01:16:56Let her have her moment for now.
01:16:58My name is Prince Harold von Monrovingham, but to just one person here, I'm just Henry.
01:17:10You hid your identity.
01:17:11Why couldn't you just tell me?
01:17:13I didn't know if I could find someone who would love me for me, and not just my crown.
01:17:20So you lied.
01:17:21I know I lied, but I didn't think that love was something that was possible for me until I met
01:17:27you.
01:17:27And now I'm terrified that you'll never forgive me.
01:17:31How could I ever trust you again?
01:17:34I told you, I hate liars.
01:17:36And that's exactly why I wanted to make this public.
01:17:40So that I could win you back.
01:17:42No.
01:17:43Will you...
01:17:45Will you marry me?
01:17:47For real this time.
01:17:49Be my princess.
01:17:55I...
01:17:56Stop.
01:17:57There's no way this bitch is becoming princess.
01:18:01Can't those Americans do anything normally.
01:18:04This whoreface is trash and doesn't deserve to be royalty.
01:18:08Please, Katie.
01:18:09Stop.
01:18:10You're embarrassing yourself.
01:18:11The only thing embarrassing about this family is that little twat.
01:18:15Her whole goody-goody is an act.
01:18:18She fooled your son and she doesn't deserve to be a princess.
01:18:22What are you talking about?
01:18:23Enough with this American insanity.
01:18:26My son was mid-proposal.
01:18:28Go on.
01:18:29Go on, Henry.
01:18:30No attention to this commoner.
01:18:32Your Majesty's.
01:18:33About earlier.
01:18:34I'm sorry.
01:18:35Sorry about what?
01:18:36Asking me to scrub your toilets?
01:18:39We apologize, your highnesses.
01:18:41But there's been a big misunderstanding.
01:18:44No, I understand who you are very well.
01:18:47Guards.
01:18:51Get off me.
01:18:52Don't you want to know the truth about your future daughter-in-law?
01:18:56She is a whore.
01:18:57Watch it.
01:18:58There's nothing that you can say that can make me love Belle any less.
01:19:02You're a liar.
01:19:03I have nothing to hide.
01:19:05No.
01:19:06Apparently put it all out there.
01:19:09Remember that little video you took with Todd?
01:19:12I don't think he'll like it once he sees what trash you are.
01:19:15That video is private.
01:19:17What video, Henry?
01:19:19What is she talking about?
01:19:21Now ask yourselves.
01:19:22Is this the kind of ho, ho, ho you want for a princess of your shitty country?
01:19:29Hit it.
01:19:39What the fuck?
01:19:40Where's Belle's sex tape?
01:19:42Belle?
01:19:43Is that true?
01:19:44Don't listen to a word this lunatic has to say.
01:19:47She assaulted me and has been stalking the prince all along.
01:19:50He's lying.
01:19:53Just look at the video.
01:19:54I gave it to the tech guy.
01:19:56And I promptly took care of it.
01:19:58Enough!
01:20:00This is nothing but a case of revenge porn.
01:20:03Now bow to the royal family and beg for forgiveness.
01:20:07What?
01:20:19Please forgive me.
01:20:21Not just to me.
01:20:22Also to the future princess of Monrovia.
01:20:26What?
01:20:26She isn't a princess!
01:20:28Not yet.
01:20:29Now bow.
01:20:32Your highness.
01:20:33I bow.
01:20:35I suppose that will do.
01:20:37I know off to you to the police station.
01:20:40Guards!
01:20:42Please, your highness.
01:20:45Forgive me.
01:20:46It was just a joke.
01:20:47Oh, a joke.
01:20:48Just when you assaulted my valet.
01:20:51Hmm?
01:20:51Guards!
01:20:52How's that for being the ill egg?
01:20:55I'm calling my lawyer!
01:20:57Wait!
01:20:58I should be the princess of Monrovia!
01:21:00Me!
01:21:01Now, where were we?
01:21:03Henry?
01:21:03Oh, yes.
01:21:04On one knee.
01:21:05Oh, right.
01:21:13Belle.
01:21:14Will you do me the honor?
01:21:16Being the wife of Prince Harold von Monrovingen.
01:21:26No.
01:21:29I don't know who that is.
01:21:35But I will marry Henry.
01:21:39But never lie to me again.
01:21:42I promise I will never ever lie to you ever again.
01:21:46My beautiful Belle.
01:21:47Then I forgive you.
01:21:49Because I'm a prince?
01:21:50No, because you're you.
01:21:52I don't need these presents, this crown or the royal estate.
01:21:57I just want you.
01:22:07No kiss already.
01:22:10That's an order.
01:22:15To the future princess of Monrovia.
01:22:20Princess Belle.
01:22:30Oh, these are quite comfy, actually.
01:22:36Oh, cute.
01:22:39Oh, you know what?
01:22:40I'll get started.
01:22:42This gift is for Belle.
01:22:45And it's a special token for the first time we've ever met.
01:22:51Is it another tiara?
01:22:58It's better than a tiara.
01:22:59Aww.
01:23:02For all the riches in my kingdom, you're the greatest gift I've ever received.
01:23:09Aww.
01:23:14I have the royal nappies, your highness.
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