#video #Age of Attraction - Season 1 - Episode 08
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:10You
00:00:14Excited very excited. I've been waiting for this forever
00:00:25I
00:00:26Haven't really felt like this about anyone. I am 38 years. You know, I
00:00:3622 trying to roll with that whole age is just a number thing
00:00:43You ready? I'm 60
00:00:50Oh
00:00:50My gosh
00:00:5230 40 56. Yeah, he's 33 years older than me
00:00:57Jorge's literally the same age as my parents
00:01:03I never want to be surprised about something you've done. I came here with you not to feel alone
00:01:10I feel like you're not attracted to me
00:01:14We're kind of in a friend zone right now
00:01:16Okay
00:01:18Is he the right person? Did I pick the right person? Okay? I'm really done talking
00:01:24Okay
00:01:25Can I get this mic off
00:01:26This connection is not going to be easy to find
00:01:31Okay
00:01:32I know I won't find this again
00:01:37Starting tomorrow
00:01:39You are getting visitors
00:01:41You are getting visitors your friends your families
00:01:45I've never dated anyone this much older
00:01:49I hope it works out well for them
00:01:50I hope it works out well for them but it's weird it's weird
00:01:52Being 23 and potentially having two immediate children
00:01:58Yeah
00:01:59I'm leaving everybody
00:02:01And everything I've worked for
00:02:03What the fuck am I doing?
00:02:05I'm just exhausted and I'm overwhelmed because I feel like I can't be myself with you
00:02:11I'm leaving you
00:02:12I'm leaving you
00:02:13I'm leaving you
00:02:13Integrating a 22 year old girl into my life is definitely concerning
00:02:19Is there a future with us?
00:02:22It's decision time
00:02:24Do you commit to taking this leap together?
00:02:29Do you choose a different path?
00:02:31Or do you choose a different path?
00:02:35It sucks
00:02:37I wasn't fine till you came
00:02:45Into my view
00:02:47Thought I was going insane
00:02:50Till I found you
00:02:52Did you get everything out of the bathroom?
00:02:55But I'll check the other rooms
00:02:57You work on yours
00:02:58I think you need to get a garment bag
00:03:01Yeah
00:03:02I feel nervous anxious
00:03:05This is the last time I'm going to see her
00:03:07Before the commitment ceremony
00:03:09Everything I can do I did
00:03:11I'm super nervous about
00:03:14My alone time
00:03:15And you know what is that alone time going to lead me to think
00:03:20Part of me wants to commit to Vanessa
00:03:23And then part of me is like
00:03:25Is this right?
00:03:26Is this up and down too much for us to handle?
00:03:30You know?
00:03:31And my fear of commitment
00:03:34Continues to be my fear of commitment
00:03:35Right?
00:03:36And so
00:03:37That's
00:03:39Scary thought
00:03:41How you doing?
00:03:42I got all your stuff ready for you
00:03:43Thank you
00:03:45How you feeling?
00:03:45Okay, how are you?
00:03:47I'm good
00:03:50I'm sad
00:03:50I don't want you to leave
00:03:51I don't even know what to say
00:03:54I know
00:03:54It's been fun
00:03:55The last few days with you has been like
00:03:57Better than I could ever dream of
00:03:59I mean
00:04:01You're one of the most amazing girls I've ever met in my entire life
00:04:04Thank you
00:04:05It's hard to put it into words, right?
00:04:07But
00:04:08I think it was
00:04:09One of the most amazing beautiful things I've ever experienced
00:04:12And
00:04:13You know, it's weird kind of closing this chapter
00:04:16And
00:04:17I feel like we're breaking off
00:04:19Is this like a breakup?
00:04:23I don't know what to say
00:04:25What if I cry?
00:04:28Okay
00:04:29It's okay?
00:04:31No
00:04:31Okay
00:04:32It'll be okay
00:04:34You look amazing
00:04:36Yes
00:04:38No
00:04:42Okay?
00:04:43Okay
00:04:44Okay
00:04:45You okay?
00:04:46Mm-hmm
00:04:46Is it okay?
00:04:47Yeah
00:04:48Promise?
00:04:49Mm-hmm
00:04:51I'm here for you
00:04:53Yeah
00:04:56Okay.
00:04:57I just have PTSD, I think.
00:05:00What?
00:05:01I don't know. Just with, like,
00:05:03the history of my relationships not working out,
00:05:05you know, and I feel like this is just another
00:05:09failed attempt, you know?
00:05:12Like, it's not you. I don't want to project it on you.
00:05:14It's not you at all. It's just...
00:05:17I've just put myself out there before,
00:05:19and only to get hurt, and I just hope, like,
00:05:23this doesn't have the same outcome.
00:05:25That's scary.
00:05:27Something inside me is way too scared to
00:05:31care about you like this.
00:05:34Coming into this with Logan,
00:05:35I had so many reservations
00:05:37because I had been so hurt before.
00:05:40So there is this guard up, like,
00:05:42I'll be okay, I'll be okay, you know?
00:05:44And maybe I won't be okay.
00:05:46I just hope I chose right this time,
00:05:49and I picked the right person,
00:05:51and I feel like you are,
00:05:52and I hope that you feel the same about me.
00:05:56Yeah, I mean, I do.
00:05:59It's really scary to not put yourself out there
00:06:02for this many years,
00:06:04get this close to someone,
00:06:06only for yourself to be devastated all over again,
00:06:10and for the whole world to see.
00:06:14We'll see ya. Okay.
00:06:15Okay. Take care of yourself.
00:06:16To see an older woman with a man 20 years younger,
00:06:20like, that's rare.
00:06:21It's very rare.
00:06:22And it's like, am I delusional
00:06:25to think that it would even work, you know?
00:06:27Am I delusional to put my heart out there?
00:06:32I mean, he's, like, in the prime of his life right now,
00:06:34honestly.
00:06:35I've been here before, darling.
00:06:37I don't think you'll stay.
00:06:40And why would he give that up
00:06:42for someone 20 years older than him?
00:06:44I'll hold out, I'll hold out, I'll hold on.
00:06:49But I hope you'll put me on.
00:06:54Go back, baby, out of my dreams.
00:06:59You're leaving.
00:07:00I know.
00:07:01I'm just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.
00:07:03But you're forgetting me.
00:07:06I think that we need this little bit of separation
00:07:09because we haven't had it,
00:07:10and this is the first time that I think I'm gonna be able
00:07:12to look at this from the outside,
00:07:15make a clear decision.
00:07:17Clearly, me and Leah have had ups and downs
00:07:19since we moved in together.
00:07:20But at the same time, there's been much blessings
00:07:23from this relationship.
00:07:24Even during the difficult times,
00:07:26the care and the love for each other
00:07:28has always been constant.
00:07:29And I think that it's very clear
00:07:33that I care so much for her.
00:07:35So the question is, is that,
00:07:37does the good outweigh the bad?
00:07:39And are these good moments enough
00:07:41to continue in this relationship?
00:07:44Give me a hug.
00:07:48Thank you for being you.
00:07:49Thank you for making me a better person.
00:07:52You're welcome.
00:07:54You're seriously?
00:07:57Why are you looking at me like that?
00:07:59Because you're leaving.
00:08:03We didn't even get to dance yet.
00:08:09Yeah.
00:08:12I have a lot of thinking.
00:08:13We both have a lot of thinking to do.
00:08:14Yeah, I know.
00:08:17I...
00:08:22I'm gonna miss...
00:08:24I'm gonna miss you a little bit.
00:08:25I'm gonna miss you too.
00:08:27I think more than you think.
00:08:28You think?
00:08:29Mm-hmm.
00:08:30You're not gonna be able to sleep now
00:08:31because you're gonna be thinking about me?
00:08:32Maybe...
00:08:33Maybe...
00:08:33I don't know about that.
00:08:34What?
00:08:35I might be able to sleep.
00:08:36No, you won't.
00:08:38Give me my hand.
00:08:42It's like bittersweet this morning.
00:08:44All right.
00:08:44I'll see you.
00:08:45I'll see you.
00:08:45With the commitment ceremony coming up,
00:08:47it's gonna be difficult.
00:08:48We're still debating on how we're even gonna make it work here,
00:08:52right?
00:08:52Let alone commit to each other.
00:08:55I know he likes me,
00:08:56and we're leaving off in a great space right now.
00:08:59But, yeah, I don't want to put any pressure on it
00:09:02because I don't know.
00:09:03I don't know what the future holds for us.
00:09:05Because the words won't buffer anymore.
00:09:10How are you feeling?
00:09:13About what?
00:09:13Leaving.
00:09:15Mm-hmm.
00:09:15I feel like I've been the one that brings up,
00:09:18you know, some of the more challenging things,
00:09:20and we don't know how we're gonna communicate after this.
00:09:25Like, we've only ever been in this bubble.
00:09:28So, like, we don't know what it's like to text or call
00:09:31or I've never done long distance before.
00:09:34So those things naturally, I feel like,
00:09:36are things that I'm thinking about.
00:09:39Yeah.
00:09:40I'm glad you brought it up
00:09:43because I just wasn't even thinking about it that way at all.
00:09:47I think I'm just someone that is very realistic.
00:09:50Yeah.
00:09:50And, you know...
00:09:52Yeah, no, I understand.
00:09:53I know that this has to end at some point.
00:09:55And...
00:09:55Mm-hmm.
00:09:56...just...
00:09:58Yeah.
00:09:58I mean, I wish we could stay in this little bubble forever,
00:10:02but, you know, we have to say goodbye.
00:10:05The fact that the next time I am going to see Andrew
00:10:09is the commitment ceremony gives me a little bit of anxiety, honestly.
00:10:14Um...
00:10:14I know he's in his head, and I don't blame him too much
00:10:17because those doubts were in the back of my mind.
00:10:20I just wasn't really vocalizing them.
00:10:22There is a part of me that's afraid that the age gap between Andrew and I
00:10:27will just be too much.
00:10:29And, yeah, I have a fear that, ultimately, that will just be too overwhelming for both of us.
00:10:36Just run into the fountain, cause now I can feel it.
00:10:43Okay.
00:10:47Bye-bye.
00:10:49See ya.
00:10:50See ya.
00:10:52See ya.
00:11:09Bye.
00:11:26My god.
00:11:29Awww.
00:11:43Is that beautiful?
00:11:44Mm-hmm.
00:11:46Well, I will think of you every time I look at him.
00:11:50I was thinking about that this time away.
00:11:55I love supporting you,
00:11:57and I love being here for you when...
00:12:03you're going through some shit.
00:12:04So I'll be thinking about you.
00:12:08Um, I'm going to have some time
00:12:12just to, like, think and get myself, like, more centered.
00:12:16Mm-hmm.
00:12:16Um, and I'm going to miss you for sure.
00:12:20We've gotten so close in such a short period of time,
00:12:24and living together was amazing.
00:12:27Um, I'm going to miss that for sure.
00:12:30But I think this time apart is going to be good for us,
00:12:33even though I hate saying goodbye.
00:12:38Um...
00:12:38So I'm glad I have these.
00:12:42I'm there with you.
00:12:44Okay.
00:12:49Well, thanks for being everything for me.
00:12:51Mm-hmm.
00:12:52And...
00:12:55Don't miss me too much.
00:12:57Impossible.
00:13:00I am in love with Teresa.
00:13:02The way she's allowed me to open up and be vulnerable
00:13:06and not put on a facade, which I've done in the past,
00:13:09and just the joy she brings me, like, when I wake up and I see her,
00:13:12and that sense of home.
00:13:15It feels good.
00:13:16I love you.
00:13:17I love you.
00:13:18Am I hoping that we come out on the same page
00:13:22and even a little stronger?
00:13:24Yeah, and I think that's a possibility.
00:13:29But there's a chance that...
00:13:32It's going to be weird.
00:13:33Yeah.
00:13:36She just gets way too in her head,
00:13:40and she might be a different person when I see her again.
00:13:45Bye.
00:13:46Okay.
00:13:46Goodbye.
00:13:47Goodbye.
00:13:57I have a huge, huge decision to make.
00:14:03There's no denying that we had a true and real connection
00:14:07from the beginning.
00:14:10Time is gonna let you down.
00:14:15However, I still have some doubts.
00:14:21Is this just the final call?
00:14:26It's a huge commitment to say that this person,
00:14:33who's 27 years younger than me,
00:14:35is my boyfriend.
00:14:38and that I'm going to commit to going forward with this
00:14:42and opening this up to the world.
00:14:48I don't know if I have the strength to see this through.
00:15:02It's cheers to this journey that we've had.
00:15:05Cheers to a big decision.
00:15:06A very big decision coming.
00:15:16How do you feel?
00:15:19I know that that doesn't always make everything A-okay and easy.
00:15:27I do understand the logistics of where we are in life.
00:15:32Geographical challenges, other challenges as well.
00:15:35So, you know, it's time to take all that into consideration.
00:15:40Yeah, you know, this whole time we've kind of been like, oh, we're in a fairy tale
00:15:45and everything is perfectly smooth and we're having no challenges, which was true.
00:15:49It was true. It was true up until these last few days.
00:15:52So the fact that we're taking this time apart now has me a little bit unsure about my decision.
00:16:06A lot of questions have come up that I just have been ignoring and I think I've been putting them
00:16:11off
00:16:11because I didn't want to ruin anything or have anything be different than what it was.
00:16:16So, like, while it is confusing and it's scary, I know that this time apart will end up benefiting both
00:16:27of us
00:16:29because my decision will be grounded and, like, it will be thoughtful.
00:16:36Yeah. And I respect that.
00:16:41I definitely think her concerns are valid.
00:16:44But one thing that I've done the last few days is try to truly focus on her feelings and her
00:16:52emotions
00:16:52and I've taken myself out of it a little bit
00:16:55and obviously we're going to have some time apart to where, you know,
00:17:00I'm going to have to think that through on my side as well.
00:17:03And what does that look like?
00:17:05Because it's a big commitment and can she handle it?
00:17:09She.
00:17:10We're probably just at different stages in life.
00:17:13If I have my boys, how will that match?
00:17:16There's so many question marks.
00:17:19I'd be lying to you
00:17:22if I didn't say I was a little bit nervous.
00:17:23If it's not too late.
00:17:29If it's not too late.
00:17:33If it's not too late.
00:17:34Oh, it's not too late.
00:17:56so today is the commitment ceremony i feel confident but i don't know how she's been
00:18:05feeling i don't know if she let the thoughts get to her or the stress of her kids get to
00:18:10her
00:18:14you know i support her and i'm here for her and my family supports you know our relationship
00:18:21but i'm worried that teresa hasn't bought in because of a lot of factors that i can't control
00:18:33i'm fully committed to teresa
00:18:44and i hope she's ready to take that leap with me
00:19:01my feelings are getting much stronger every day for john i have to admit that you know i am
00:19:08falling for him it's almost been too good to be true but there's also a piece of me that still
00:19:14has doubts
00:19:22this age gap difference is huge and yeah i'm scared
00:19:31i have the option of walking away today and you know i'd be walking away from a lot
00:19:39i know that i will regret not having him in my life but i don't know if it's going to
00:19:47be
00:19:47too much should we just
00:19:53take the easy route and go our separate ways and go back to our lives the way they were
00:20:00i don't know if i'm ready for this
00:20:02i don't know if it's a final teardrop
00:20:33we've gone through a lot of hard stuff early on that i'm thankful for we had to be there
00:20:40for each other and that says something i've never been able to be there for someone i was
00:20:44never in the right headspace for it i was never open to receive this and to support someone
00:20:49like i've supported you i feel lucky that i get to show up for you i'm confident in this
00:20:58i'm confident in what we've built i know what we have and it's the feeling
00:21:05it's the immediate sense of calmness that you bring me whenever i see you
00:21:12us being able to laugh during the most serious moments the most intimate moments i'm looking
00:21:21forward to that next step and we'll get there with the age thing
00:21:30i need you to believe that age is just a number but also believe in me that every day i'm
00:21:36going
00:21:36to show up and work on this together when i decided to take this journey to find someone
00:21:49to share my life with i said to myself that i was ready when i met you you drew me
00:21:58in with
00:21:59your smile your energy and your steadiness you made me laugh and you made me feel better than
00:22:13i ever had in the past but for whatever reason there was still something holding me back when
00:22:24you met my kids and i didn't tell them your age it wasn't because i was ashamed it was because
00:22:30i was
00:22:31scared scared because if i spoke it it would be real scared because of the things we might face from
00:22:42the
00:22:42world knowing that the world is not fair and that there is a double standard against women who date
00:22:53younger men so it got me thinking maybe it would be better if i walked away before it got to
00:23:01be too difficult
00:23:05and
00:23:08too real i'm kidding
00:23:15it's a lot
00:23:20really scary thing for me if i let myself
00:23:29be totally vulnerable
00:23:32with you
00:23:34and the world
00:23:36it's the hugest risk i will ever have taken
00:23:45i just didn't see this coming
00:23:55just a total 180 from what we were feeling
00:24:01i mean we've shared some amazing times together
00:24:06and you've been really patient and very understanding
00:24:14but i just worry that it's too much
00:24:20you're not up for the fight
00:24:23i mean i'm a fighter
00:24:26i'm also just trying to protect myself
00:24:30and to protect you
00:24:34i don't know what to say
00:24:36there's a letter that my kids wrote to you that i want to read
00:24:49all right dear john it was really nice meeting you and watching you and our mom together
00:25:00she just seemed so happy and we haven't seen her like that in a while
00:25:14we don't know exactly what the age difference is but it doesn't matter to us
00:25:20after seeing youtube together we just want her to be happy
00:25:26and you clearly do that so we support your relationship and are excited for whatever comes next
00:25:34love lauren richard and michael
00:25:45i just need to know if you believe that if you're up for that challenge
00:25:52and you believe and trust your kids that they support you
00:26:00i need you to wake up every morning and see and believe and trust trust that your kids support this
00:26:10and that whatever comes after that we can
00:26:13you know i'd go to battle but it's up to you i've said the whole time if the ball's in
00:26:20your court on if
00:26:23you believe that you believe that i mean it makes me feel a lot more confident and
00:26:31happy to know that they wrote that to you um i had no idea what it said
00:26:38and so i don't want to walk away
00:26:43in fact i want to walk towards something with you
00:26:48and i don't know exactly what that will be or what that will look like
00:26:53but i think together you know we can navigate it and i think if you are able to support
00:27:01me and my crazy anxiety you know we can make this into something really special
00:27:15i think so too and i will be able at some point to maybe scream it from the mountaintop
00:27:24mm-hmm but right now i'm just going to promise you and commit to you to continue to build our
00:27:38relationship into something real and something really great
00:27:45you know i accept hilarious i'm excited for whatever's next and i'm thankful for this experience
00:28:01and i want to continue falling in love with you so do i i love you i love you too
00:28:13i love you too much so let you go i'm good because you don't have to
00:28:18mm-hmm good answer
00:28:35all your dreams and all your fears
00:28:47i'm feeling a little nervous i have confidence in derek and i have confidence in our relationship
00:28:54but i still have a lot of fears about my own future
00:29:04i mean i'm 23. i never imagined that i would be moving across the country moving for a man who
00:29:12has
00:29:13children and i think the fear is just coming from a place of not having experience in being in that
00:29:20sort
00:29:20of relationship or being with somebody who has kids this is a big decision
00:29:30essentially i either walk away without derek and i go back to my life in seattle or i leave with
00:29:36derek and i get something extremely different than anything i could have ever imagined
00:29:47i'm conflicted it's like do i risk it all and change everything i know for a man and for a
00:29:52relationship or do i make the hard decision to end it but you can't find a way to let me
00:30:00in
00:30:02not in a million years did i ever think that i would come into this experience and find such
00:30:09a real genuine authentic connection it feels like i'm getting married honestly there's a lot weighing
00:30:21on it you know there's a whole life change that she has to consider the last conversation we had
00:30:27she definitely has some question marks and the nerves are there she's scared and giving up her life
00:30:33possibly changing her career i know that's a lot i'm wanting to be sympathetic and empathetic to that
00:30:40but i want her in dallas with me but i'm not sure that our relationship at this time is strong
00:30:47enough
00:30:47for her to make that change i just want to know why you can't find a way to let me
00:30:57in
00:30:58welcome thank you from the first day i didn't know exactly what it was but i knew i was extremely
00:31:07comfortable with it i felt at ease at peace from just a quick conversation like honestly that moment
00:31:15i knew like deep down that i didn't want to even explore any other options at the retreat and you
00:31:25know we continued on moved in and you know yeah there were some nerves it's not easy to think i'm
00:31:34going to move in with someone that i just met but through that process i thought that it would be
00:31:39great
00:31:39but i was wrong like it was much better than i could have even imagined so for me you know
00:31:46the journey
00:31:48all the last and all the good times the challenges and tough conversations were just as important
00:31:54i feel like we've grown every point alone is right
00:32:00from the first day i knew that you were special despite our 20-year age gap i'm certain that my
00:32:10greatest blessing was meeting you i've always thought about and dreamed about the man i would end up with
00:32:18but you are far better than anybody i could have imagined
00:32:28and now i can't imagine a future without you in it
00:32:38i've been confident in your character since our first date but after moving in
00:32:46i'm certain that you were one of the best men that i've ever met
00:32:59it's been an honor to share this journey with you and the closer we get
00:33:07the more i know and the more i see just how great of a man that you are
00:33:20derek you are a phenomenal person sometimes it seems too good to be true but it really is just who
00:33:29you
00:33:29are and i feel like i'm the luckiest girl in the whole world to have found you here
00:33:38many people spend their whole lives looking for what we found here
00:33:45if i were to leave here without you i may regret it for the rest of my life
00:33:52but if we were to stay together my life would look wildly different than i ever anticipated
00:34:04i would be sacrificing my entire life in seattle my friends my support
00:34:13and everything i've built over the last four years
00:34:22but today i'm putting the unknowns aside and i'm trusting my heart so
00:34:31i am 100 percent committed to moving to dallas
00:34:37and starting our journey together outside of all of this
00:34:48yeah that was a lot
00:34:52but i promise i'm always going to put in the work
00:34:57i'm always going to try i'll always protect you and i'll always protect your heart
00:35:03pfeiffer i truly love you so this is my gift to you
00:35:12it's a key to our place that's been my place thank you that means the world to me absolutely
00:35:21i don't want you to be alone and i don't want you in dallas in a separate place
00:35:25literally my place is our place i feel like the luckiest person in the whole world
00:35:30and i have this whole time
00:35:32it makes two of us babe
00:35:58i think i just got one more breath
00:36:09i came here to be able to open my heart up to find someone that i want to spend my
00:36:15life with you
00:36:15know when i think about my future i just want to be happily married to a wonderful guy and despite
00:36:22all of our ups and downs i think it could be chris i'm like a hopeless romantic you know so
00:36:34i would
00:36:35like for this to work out with chris we have something here we are finally in a great space
00:36:40but this step is big i'm 41 he's 26 you know so is he really ready i'm not sure
00:36:50i can't give up hope regardless don't have any blood
00:36:54i feel very uneasy clearly me and leah have love for each other because we have been on an emotional
00:37:01roller coaster we didn't have love for each other as soon as it got really dark we wouldn't
00:37:05be here anymore the question was and still is are we in love
00:37:12leah is somebody that i have built such a connection with and a care for that i want to look
00:37:19past what
00:37:20we've dealt with and try to move forward at the same time i'm trying to figure out am i ready
00:37:27for
00:37:27this or am i not because it's a decision that will affect me forever
00:37:35logic emotions my head my gut which one do i listen to and there's so many voices whether
00:37:40it's outside or or in our own heads that are telling us to do a certain thing and i'm trying
00:37:44to just ignore everything that society says should happen and listen to what i know is true which is
00:37:51the the voice in my heart telling me what is right
00:37:59you look good you look beautiful
00:38:09prior to this retreat i was praying that god would send me and my person and i was really hoping
00:38:17well
00:38:17maybe they'll be at this retreat and then i met you and then from our first conversation i knew we
00:38:25had
00:38:25something special and our first gift was fire you lit something inside of me that i thought was gone
00:38:35i know we've had our fair share of ups and downs but for me the good times outweigh the bad
00:38:49you challenged me to do and be better and i thank you for that thank you for hearing seeing
00:39:00and always telling me to just be me thank you
00:39:07from day one we've talked about being honest and being open and i think that the most important
00:39:15thing i want to highlight is just how honest and open you've allowed me to feel you've challenged me
00:39:22you've helped me grow and i hope i've done the same i can't thank you enough for the experiences that
00:39:29we
00:39:30have lived we've had ups and downs and there's no doubting that there's been difficult times and
00:39:42there's been beautiful times and i want to remember both
00:39:50i think that we do need to continue to be honest with each other and you know we've talked about
00:39:58our
00:39:59age difference many times and maybe the age gap was harder than we thought but here we are and i
00:40:10think we've both made a decision that will impact our lives and our families and i just hope and pray
00:40:16that's the right one i think i just wanted you to be able to see what i see i wanted
00:40:24to show you
00:40:25the world i want to see more with you and i want to get you out of your comfort zone
00:40:31you know and i do
00:40:33want to challenge you in all the ways that i can and i love it when you challenge me too
00:40:38i can see myself
00:40:40growing with you building with you um i know it's not easy i understand that we weren't at our best
00:40:48and
00:40:50it's like i want to see you be at your best and me at my best and see how we
00:40:54can be our best together
00:40:58i would like to commit to you
00:41:05excuse me
00:41:11so wow
00:41:20so we've talked about our differences and we laid out what we want out of a partner from day one
00:41:27i think
00:41:28we both want to have a family i think we both want to settle down i think maybe we wanted
00:41:31at different
00:41:31paces i do think that the age difference did cause an unnecessary pressure on both of us
00:41:37and put us in a situation where
00:41:41for the first time in my life i felt like it was hard for me to be myself
00:41:57and that's why ultimately i feel that this partnership is not right
00:42:15and ultimately
00:42:18i can't move forward with something that i don't feel is 100 right
00:42:22i don't feel like that's fair to you i don't feel like that's fair to your family or mine
00:42:27so i i am deciding to end this relationship here
00:42:39honestly i will cherish every single freaking moment and experience and i hope that this is the
00:42:45end of a friendship that i truly value there seriously thank you you're welcome
00:42:54and you are a beautiful person inside and out
00:42:58have a hug
00:43:11it's nice meeting you
00:43:22it's nice meeting you're welcome
00:43:24chris didn't really want to be with me if somebody really likes she really wants to be with you
00:43:28they'll be with you and they'll fight that's why i was willing to give us a shot and see if
00:43:33we
00:43:33really could get it together but he wasn't i've always want to be chosen but i wasn't going to beg
00:43:41someone to choose me i also can't turn a boy into a man either
00:43:44i was hoping to find my love here at the retreat but i didn't overall i think i've just learned
00:43:56who i am and i'm a very strong intelligent beautiful woman and my future partner will
00:44:02be happy to be happy to be with me and i'm excited for him
00:44:06no words left to say because i'll be okay i'm stronger now
00:44:26i'm definitely a little bit unsure
00:44:33you know the last few days i've definitely been in my head
00:44:37i mean there's so much fear there that the age gap will be too much where we're at in our
00:44:43lives will
00:44:43be too much the timing the distance
00:44:52are we too far away from where the other person is in life and i would be lying if i
00:45:00said that that
00:45:01still doesn't cross my mind every single day with libby
00:45:06there's definitely two sides going back and forth that's like it's not gonna work
00:45:12one's going off of previous experiences and all of the things that that haven't worked
00:45:18and then the other side of it is like my heart
00:45:28i'm a bit nervous going into this me and andrew have been so solid this entire experience
00:45:33i don't think i expected to get to this point this morning and be questioning things
00:45:42but the past couple days he's brought up the thing about him worrying about taking from my life and
00:45:49the distance between us so i'm smiling a little bit too andrew's doubts are putting
00:45:56more ideas in my head i'm i'm like wait is he right is this gonna work
00:46:05his doubts have now become my doubts and i think all of this is really starting to freak me out
00:46:17i don't know how he's feeling and i don't know if he's decided that the age difference it's too much
00:46:25so i think it's very possible that andrew's gonna break my heart on this mountain today
00:46:40what's up thank you thank you
00:46:50i came here hoping to find something
00:46:57but i don't think i truly believed that i would find something real there's a part of me that
00:47:04wonders if this works when we're outside of the bubble that we've been living in
00:47:11you're 22. i'm 38. that's a big gap
00:47:18your life is just getting started they're figuring out who you are what you want where you're going
00:47:28and i'm settled in the life that i've already built the biggest fear for me is keeping you
00:47:38from your dreams even though you're a part of mine
00:47:47i understand what you mean and obviously i've been thinking about that too
00:47:52you know that sometimes it's hard for me to really express how i'm feeling with my words and
00:48:01sometimes it's better and easier for me to write it out so i wrote you something
00:48:15coming into this experience i hoped for the best but i truly never thought that i meet someone like
00:48:22you you have everything that i've ever wanted in a guy which is incredibly rare because that
00:48:27includes some outrageous things like someone who will sing taylor swift with me and manifest
00:48:33you challenged me to open up in ways i never have before and brought out a side of me that
00:48:39not many
00:48:39people get to see i love the way you talk and care about your daughters and the way you protect
00:48:45them in every aspect shows what a great dad you are hearing about your experiences as a father has
00:48:51been one of the many things that drew me to you with that being said i know that that comes
00:48:57with a lot
00:48:57of weight and it's something that i don't take lightly and i know that you're worried about our age gap
00:49:04and the fact that i'm 22 and you think that there's a possibility that you could be taking too much
00:49:11from
00:49:12my life and it has me thinking the last couple days about what it is that i really want
00:49:21and i really feel like it'll only be an addition to my life
00:49:34i've had a lot of time to think as well and the truth is
00:49:45no matter how much i doubt the age gap the distance the timing i don't doubt the way i feel
00:49:56when i'm with
00:49:57you when we first got here you asked me if i ever thought i could fall in love before the
00:50:11end of this
00:50:13and i remember saying
00:50:17i think someone could but i didn't think i would be that someone
00:50:25i was wrong
00:50:29because i have and i do love you
00:50:36you have opened up things in me i thought were shut down for good i've been waiting a long time
00:50:46for
00:50:47something like this
00:50:49a really long time and i feel like it's finally my turn
00:50:55like this might actually be my rom-com
00:51:01happy ending i know i'm so cheesy
00:51:04no i love it
00:51:08i've been thinking a lot about
00:51:12what happens after this
00:51:15and i don't know what your generation calls it these days
00:51:22hard launch
00:51:26soft launch
00:51:28probably something way cooler than what i'm about to say
00:51:34but
00:51:35i would really love to leave here with you as my girlfriend
00:51:40do you want to hard launch me
00:51:42i want to hard launch you
00:51:45i'm gonna need you to answer before i continue
00:51:47okay okay
00:51:50i want to commit to you
00:51:52and i want a relationship with you outside of here because i also love you too
00:52:09so
00:52:11there is one more thing
00:52:14my daughters
00:52:15they are
00:52:17the most important thing to me
00:52:21with you you make me feel safe
00:52:25make it feel safe to open up
00:52:29that box again
00:52:31and i would really love
00:52:34for you to come to baltimore
00:52:36for you to meet my daughters
00:52:38because
00:52:39i do see you
00:52:42in my future forever
00:52:45that means the world coming from you
00:52:48that's really sweet
00:52:50i think that
00:52:52i know how important your daughters are
00:52:56to you and i want you to know that
00:52:59i think that that's something that's equally important to me
00:53:04and i think that if you were willing to open that part of your life to me i would be
00:53:12happy to be a part of it
00:53:15i really do love you
00:53:20i really do love you too
00:53:41i'm in a really good place in my life i'm getting ready to turn 50 years old
00:53:46i've never felt more comfortable in my body financially spiritually everything and the one thing that is missing is love
00:54:00i thought i was never gonna find love again but logan makes my heart feel full and he gives me
00:54:06hope and he
00:54:08makes me feel alive
00:54:09it's no goodbyes
00:54:13i'll build it all with you
00:54:16logan and i have had a lot of ups and downs we're finally at a really good place
00:54:23except for the question mark is he ready for a commitment
00:54:26is logan gonna take a step forward and be ready for a commitment or is he ready to go back
00:54:32to his
00:54:32party boy lifestyle in dallas and i'll go back to ohio and start over from square one
00:54:46the thought of going home alone would just be devastating i don't want this to end
00:54:58i've obviously fallen in love with vanessa our love feels
00:55:02so in sync it feels like something that i really i to be honest i didn't think i would find
00:55:09if i could ride what feels she loves me in a way that i haven't been loved before
00:55:20it's crazy that she's 20 years older than me but regardless of age i don't know if i'm gonna find
00:55:27anybody else like vanessa going into the commitment ceremony the unknown is am i going to be able to
00:55:36give her what she truly wants there's a chance that you know i get up there and see this woman
00:55:42that
00:55:43i've fallen in love with and it's picture perfect and there's a chance that i might not be able to
00:55:49meet those expectations there's a chance that we walk away without each other
00:56:00hi hey you look so cute good to see you i'm so nervous yeah right yeah
00:56:10can i hold your hands it helps me move our nerves
00:56:16logan when i first met you you were such a gentleman we had an amazing conversation and then
00:56:24we go out on our date and you tell me you're worried about the optics of dating an older woman
00:56:29and i'm like
00:56:30what is up with this guy i can't figure him out so i was like forget it you know but
00:56:36you did a few
00:56:39things that were really important to me
00:56:44you apologized and you took accountability for your actions and that meant a lot to me so i decided
00:56:51i really want to give this guy a chance um yeah i feel that with you i opened up more
00:57:04than anyone else
00:57:05i've ever opened up to in my life i feel safe with you and that's something that's so important to
00:57:11me
00:57:13i was really in a dark time before i came here you know i lost my mom and it's been
00:57:19almost a year and
00:57:20being with you you brought light back into my life and i'm happy that you're here i'm happy to be
00:57:27here
00:57:31yeah i mean our journey has been everything but picture perfect
00:57:38despite the whirlwind we found a connection and i think you know you challenged me and you asked
00:57:46me the tough questions and wondered if i was ready for a commitment ready for something serious or
00:57:56i was just another flame for you yeah
00:58:00but the reality is you have made me into a better man and going on this process with you it
00:58:08was like
00:58:09nothing i could imagine i'm glad after all those hardships that we landed in this place of peace and
00:58:16love and there's no more fighting and i don't want to go back to my old life without you in
00:58:22it so
00:58:24that being said i would like to bring you into my world and meet my family meet my friends and
00:58:31be by
00:58:32my side and you know as we move forward i'm hoping you would do the same for me and allow
00:58:39me to meet
00:58:39your friends and your family and be a part of your world because i really want you to be a
00:58:45part of my world
00:58:56is this part you break up with me here's the thing
00:59:11our journey has had a lot of ups and downs
00:59:15and the chaos that we found is it's you know is that toxic or was it healthy right and it's
00:59:32really
00:59:32made me question whether or not it's it's it's good for us right
00:59:41the time alone has made me realize that maybe i'm not the man for you
00:59:53maybe i'm not good enough for you it's really questioning that
01:00:01it's it's it's it has been difficult and i don't want to make promises that i can't keep
01:00:11it's it's it's okay so i need the promise ring back
01:00:20i need the promise ring back
01:00:28i need the promise ring back
01:00:53it's been a tough journey
01:00:57my first instinct is always the correct instinct and i should stick with my
01:01:02first gut instinct on someone and maybe i was just trying to fit a square peg into a round
01:01:08hole and my picker was wrong once again yeah but during my alone time i've also realized
01:01:23that maybe i don't have to be the perfect man maybe i just needed to be the guy that was
01:01:35there for you throughout all the good times highs and lows somebody that you could talk
01:01:41to and count on somebody that would always be there for you just like your mom was before
01:01:46she left and i think spending time with you enjoying you not realizing there was an age
01:01:57gap has made me want to commit what is happening
01:02:10what i don't want this journey to end oh my god what is happening and you know it's been
01:02:19a crazy roller coaster of a ride but i'm not getting off anytime soon hey i love the shit
01:02:29you and uh you know i want to make a promise and a commitment
01:02:37you're someone who deserves everything what is happening and someone who deserves the kobe
01:02:44ring stop it no is this really happening vanessa
01:02:54i'm not ready to get off anytime soon
01:02:56oh my god what's happening so we want to continue this journey and do life together
01:03:11yes
01:03:15oh my god i'm shaking
01:03:24so let's do it oh my gosh i fucking love you
01:03:31oh my god
01:03:34oh my goodness
01:03:35you got red lipstick on you
01:03:37yeah i know
01:03:38oh my god i'm shaking
01:03:41you tricked me so
01:03:45when you started attacking me i was like
01:03:49oh my god
01:03:51oh my god
01:03:57age doesn't matter for us as crazy as it is to
01:04:03get engaged to somebody that's 20 years older than me it's it's vanessa
01:04:10she's the one that has changed me and she's the one that's made me feel ways that i haven't
01:04:16thought before so you know at the end of the day
01:04:20it's what i wanted i ran every scenario of what could happen when i was coming here but
01:04:26the one scenario i didn't think of finding the love of my life i came into this experience with a
01:04:32complete open mind and i'm really super happy with how it ended
01:04:45i did not think i was going to come into this experience and completely change my life
01:04:50what was your name
01:04:51what was your name derrick derrick i'm pfeiffer
01:04:53i love your eyes thank you me too
01:04:57it's so rare that you find somebody that you connect with like this and i never would have expected it
01:05:02to go this
01:05:03way but i'm so grateful that it has
01:05:07you want to give me
01:05:09you want to give me
01:05:09pfeiffer's definitely a person i've been looking for
01:05:12she's humble
01:05:13she's loving
01:05:14all of those are like something that i've definitely wanted
01:05:18but i honestly didn't know that it existed
01:05:21i've always thought age was just a number
01:05:23and damn yeah this experience really proves that it's just that
01:05:28only love can light it up
01:05:31i came here to try something completely unorthodox
01:05:34to meet people from all different ages
01:05:37and if anyone said you're gonna come here and you're gonna fall for a guy that's 20 years younger than
01:05:42you i'd be like you're absolutely crazy
01:05:47romeo romeo
01:05:48we're out there romeo
01:05:50is this supposed to be the opposite way like i think you're supposed to be up here with your hair
01:05:54but what logan and i have is something really special
01:05:57so i am 49
01:06:02i was gonna guess 29
01:06:08why vanessa i mean i could have connected with anybody else
01:06:12there were 19 other women at the retreat some closer in age to me
01:06:16but i don't think i would love anybody else like the way i love vanessa
01:06:20she's one in a million
01:06:21where do we go from here you know
01:06:23snacks be enjoying the night
01:06:25i thought i was going to go into the last years of my life alone
01:06:32and now here i am turning 50 and i'm in love
01:06:44i got more than everything i've ever wanted out of this experience i met somebody i never thought i would
01:06:52meet
01:06:52one go
01:06:53andrew does see me for the real me and not my age
01:06:57he sees parts of me that a lot of people don't and he just recognizes it and appreciates it
01:07:04but i don't think i've ever had that before
01:07:05i'm enjoying what we have right now i'm waking up to you
01:07:09yeah well it's probably the nicest thing i'll ever say to you
01:07:11but like the more i get to know you the more i like you more
01:07:15i really do feel like i got my rom-com happy ending and i don't think i could have scripted
01:07:21it any better
01:07:24i absolutely believe age just as a number because i never would have thought that i could connect with somebody
01:07:32that is 27 years old on this level
01:07:38i'm gonna go for it i love serisa i love how she makes me feel right
01:07:44and for seeing me for who i am and loving me and accepting me for the 27 year old is
01:07:52a little more mature
01:07:54it's the connection that counts not the candles on the cake should i grab your ass
01:08:07yeah
01:08:37I see it in the new light
01:08:40I see it in the new light
01:08:45I see it in the new light
01:08:49I'm getting it with fresh eyes
01:08:51I'm ready for the best light
01:08:53I see it in the new light
01:09:13I see it in the new light
01:09:38I see it in the new light
01:09:39I see it in the new light
01:09:39I see it in the new light
01:09:40I see it in the new light
01:09:41I see it in the new light
01:09:41I see it in the new light
01:09:41I see it in the new light
01:09:43I see it in the new light
01:09:45I see it in the new light
01:09:45I see it in the new light
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