- 4 hours ago
Zombie Repellent [Full Movie] [Full Episodes]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:21so the plan was to sneak off and get married in Vegas the whole thing was
00:00:25ruined by zombies yeah freaking zombies thank you can you come in with me next
00:00:39time why because the dude in line behind me is hitting on me why do I always get
00:00:45hit on at gas stations honey you're irresistible there he is what who the
00:00:54hell is Jasmine Jasmine can't wait to see you again when are you going to invite
00:01:00me don't you don't need to keep reading that I can't wait to spend the whole
00:01:03weekend with you hey hey it's just a girl from work nobody from work sends me
00:01:08notes hmm good dude needs a better phone password I guess
00:01:28how much longer are we going to do this okay I get it back roads are the heart of America
00:01:35but how much corn do we need to see this this is the road less traveled right yeah we're gonna
00:01:41make
00:01:41it to Vegas on time but if we just took the main highway how memorable would that be
00:01:49after eight years of therapy this should be nothing but it's our wedding I love you
00:01:58don't I love you
00:02:20oh come on gravel this is gonna shave an hour of trip
00:02:30huh I want it
00:02:41we're getting married tomorrow yeah we are and we're cutting it pretty close
00:02:49you know this is gonna make a great story one day
00:02:59huh
00:02:59huh
00:03:00huh
00:03:02huh
00:03:03huh
00:03:06huh
00:03:10huh
00:03:18that's not good
00:03:52Where are you going?
00:03:58Liz.
00:04:01It's a minor delay.
00:04:05Baby, you need to relax.
00:04:08Hey.
00:04:18Baby, it's my job to make you happy.
00:04:22Right?
00:04:24I'll tell you what.
00:04:26From this moment on, for the rest of our lives,
00:04:29whether it's this route or that route,
00:04:32it's your call.
00:04:33I'll tell you what.
00:04:36Just to show you, I can change.
00:04:39You get to decide where we eat for the whole trip.
00:04:44Yeah?
00:04:46You good?
00:04:49All right.
00:04:54Hey, Chad.
00:04:55Yeah?
00:04:57Where's the car?
00:05:04Huh.
00:05:12Babe.
00:05:13I don't want to talk about it.
00:05:17Just gotta look on the bright side, alright?
00:05:20What is the bright side of my wedding dress being stolen?
00:05:23I'm sure it's just a big misunderstanding.
00:05:26These things always have a way of working themselves out.
00:05:29I don't want to talk about it.
00:05:44You guys need a ride?
00:05:46Um, no.
00:05:49We're good.
00:05:51Our car was stolen.
00:05:53Around here?
00:05:54Not likely.
00:06:00Where'd you leave it?
00:06:01Um, over by the gravel road.
00:06:05Down that way.
00:06:07And it just vanished?
00:06:12Well, just sitting around here,
00:06:14Buck probably came out and hitched it up.
00:06:17Hop in and I'll take you to it.
00:06:19That's okay.
00:06:20If you can just point us in the right direction,
00:06:21we can walk.
00:06:25What are you doing?
00:06:28You can walk.
00:06:30Nice.
00:06:31I'm gonna hop in the back and keep Susie company.
00:06:37Well...
00:06:39I mean, why can't I ride up front with you guys?
00:06:43I keep my elbow room.
00:06:46In the back?
00:06:51I variables.
00:06:57There's no handle.
00:06:58Hop over!
00:07:24help yourself oh no thanks i'm trying to quit i know the struggle i've been trying to quit pretty
00:07:32ladies what are you doing way out here for my fiancee wanted to take the scenic route
00:07:43well plenty of that around here where are you heading vegas we're eloping what
00:07:51pretty gal like you you deserve a proper wedding like a fancy one with 400 pound pig roasting
00:07:59over an open pit moonshine and a band with banjo and mandolin gotta have the banjo don't let me
00:08:10goodbye with anything less you don't want to go marrying a guy who won't put you number one
00:08:18well actually the vegas thing was kind of my idea
00:08:27well ain't you an easy going sort of gal
00:08:35susie
00:08:39uh
00:09:05Tommy!
00:09:08Tommy is a chick, are you?
00:09:09She's the best mechanic in the area.
00:09:12Sup Clem?
00:09:13Breaking arts as usual.
00:09:15You know it.
00:09:16Found these two up off a 51.
00:09:21That's my car.
00:09:23Don't cream your jeans sweetheart, it's a Nissan.
00:09:27We'll see you missy, good luck.
00:09:34Uh, Liz?
00:09:43How much stuff has been?
00:09:46What about my phone?
00:09:48Everything.
00:09:50Relax, princess.
00:09:52The sheriff has it.
00:09:53Why?
00:09:55So nothing goes missing.
00:09:57And it gives him a chance to go through all your stuff.
00:10:00Make sure you're not up to no good.
00:10:03He can't do that.
00:10:05I'll let you be the one to tell him that.
00:10:08And you, you degenerate.
00:10:10Your battery's dead as a doornail, boss.
00:10:13Oh.
00:10:14That it?
00:10:15Nope.
00:10:18Do you have a phone I can use?
00:10:20Inside.
00:10:31Devil Hill switchboard, how may I direct your call?
00:10:34Um, I'm at the garage and Tommy said I could use the phone.
00:10:39No problem.
00:10:41Who would you like to be connected with?
00:10:43New York.
00:10:43The number is...
00:10:44Sorry, honey.
00:10:45This switchboard can only connect you with people in our town.
00:10:50Okay.
00:10:51How do I call outside the town?
00:10:53You can't.
00:10:54Thank you for calling.
00:11:09So now I'm not live within a hundred feet.
00:11:11I've been crying.
00:11:12How?
00:11:13The phone only works for people in this town.
00:11:16I could have told you that.
00:11:18Where's the sheriff's office?
00:11:20Go to the end of my building.
00:11:22Turn left.
00:11:23Look up.
00:11:23You'll see it.
00:11:25Good.
00:11:26I'll use my own phone.
00:11:27Not in this town.
00:11:30Why not?
00:11:31The council has a no-tech policy.
00:11:35No cell phones, computers.
00:11:38It's a bit extreme.
00:11:40It's the way we like it.
00:11:44Can you fix the car?
00:11:46Easy.
00:11:47Good.
00:11:48Should be ready by tomorrow afternoon.
00:11:51We can't stay here.
00:11:53That's true.
00:11:55No motels.
00:11:58Huh.
00:12:01You could try Mrs. Powell's up on First and Devil's Hill.
00:12:05She takes in strays once in a while.
00:12:11Strays.
00:12:14Please.
00:12:16She gets along with that sometimes.
00:12:19We ready in the morning?
00:12:21Late afternoon.
00:12:24Okay.
00:12:26Thanks.
00:12:33Babe.
00:12:35Where are you going?
00:12:37I'm going to get my phone, my dress, and go home.
00:12:42Don't you think you're overreacting?
00:12:47Just like a little bit.
00:12:49I'm not overreacting.
00:12:52The whole point of this trip was so that we didn't have to deal with the stress of a big
00:12:56wedding.
00:12:57And this has been nothing but stressful.
00:13:09Perfect.
00:13:10What is it?
00:13:17Be back tomorrow at 9am.
00:13:21Huh.
00:13:25Chadwick Allen Webber?
00:13:30Fix this!
00:13:37Babe?
00:13:39Babe?
00:13:52Babe?
00:13:53Seems nice.
00:13:58Right.
00:14:16We've been expecting you.
00:14:18Oh, they must have called you and told you about our car.
00:14:21Yeah, Tommy said.
00:14:25I will allow you to stay one night.
00:14:27Providing you follow the house rules.
00:14:32Sure.
00:14:34Enter.
00:14:50It's a drafty house.
00:14:53If you're not married, you'll stay in separate rooms.
00:14:57Oh, we're actually engaged.
00:15:00Separate rooms!
00:15:03That's fine.
00:15:05Dinner will be served at 7pm sharp.
00:15:08Lights out at 10pm.
00:15:10And I need your rooms returned like you found them at 9am.
00:15:17How much do we owe you?
00:15:19How much do we owe you?
00:15:19I will not accept money for my hospitality.
00:15:23It's really no big deal.
00:15:24No!
00:15:27My daughter, Ellie Mae, will show you to your rooms.
00:15:39Twilight time.
00:15:43Hi.
00:15:44I'm Ellie Mae.
00:15:45You can call me Ellie.
00:15:47Hi, Ellie.
00:15:50I'm Liz and this is my fiance, Chad.
00:15:55We don't get many visitors around here.
00:15:57At least, none this day very long.
00:16:02Come on up.
00:16:10What?
00:16:17In there?
00:16:17No, hon.
00:16:18You're in there.
00:16:20There's towels on the bed if you want to freshen up.
00:16:23Thanks.
00:16:26You'll be in there.
00:16:29And in case you're wondering, my room's right above yours.
00:16:34See you at dinner.
00:16:42What?
00:16:45Liz.
00:17:32Would you like to give thanks before we eat?
00:17:36Uh, no thanks.
00:17:39You can go ahead.
00:17:44I think Chad would love to.
00:17:46Wouldn't you?
00:17:49Oh, okay.
00:17:51Um.
00:17:56Oh my god.
00:17:58Uh, please bless this meal and
00:18:05give us the strength to
00:18:07say no to the devil.
00:18:11And please stop
00:18:14Satan from corrupting our minds.
00:18:19Let us all ask what would Jesus do
00:18:21if um, if he was here at this table with us.
00:18:25Just uh, uh, let us all make good choices and get home safe.
00:18:29Uh, oh my god.
00:18:45Squirrels in the basement.
00:18:47Squirrels.
00:18:49Squirrels?
00:18:52Please help yourself.
00:18:55Oh, um, that looks really delicious.
00:19:01Um, but I'm actually a vegetarian.
00:19:05How disappointing.
00:19:07More for us.
00:19:16Please.
00:19:19Please.
00:19:28Why'd you keep pajamas?
00:19:30They were just in my bed.
00:19:33I didn't keep pajamas.
00:19:40What?
00:19:42I think we should leave.
00:19:45I can't understand you.
00:19:47Go ahead.
00:19:50What?
00:19:51I think we should leave.
00:19:55Go where?
00:19:58Baby, I know it's creepy, but let's just spend the night here.
00:20:02And then first thing in the morning we'll leave.
00:20:07Something's not right here.
00:20:09Nothing's right here.
00:20:12I, look.
00:20:14Look, I'm one door down, okay?
00:20:18Nothing's gonna happen.
00:20:20You trust me, right?
00:20:23Huh.
00:20:24You trust me.
00:20:26Come out, face.
00:20:27Stop it.
00:20:28Okay.
00:20:29I trust you will honor the house rules until tomorrow.
00:20:35Yes, ma'am.
00:20:37Yeah, I mean, uh...
00:20:38Oh, I wasn't trying to sneak around to have sex or anything.
00:20:43Um, we've had plenty of sex.
00:20:46Inside, outside, we've done it.
00:20:49In a plane, but we got caught.
00:20:52And so, I just wouldn't even try that here.
00:20:55I mean, she's pretty tired of all the sexing from earlier.
00:21:01So, I think we're just gonna be doing some sleeping.
00:21:04Right?
00:21:05Yeah.
00:21:05So, no sexing, just sleeping.
00:21:08If anything, I'll be flying solo tonight.
00:21:10Stop talking.
00:21:11I'm gonna stop talking now.
00:21:13Good night.
00:21:18Good night.
00:21:27Good night.
00:21:28Good night.
00:22:05Good night.
00:22:34Good night.
00:22:59Good night.
00:23:06Good night.
00:23:10Good night.
00:23:16Good night.
00:23:29Oh my god, are you naked?
00:23:31You know, I'm just going to like it.
00:23:33I don't know how you like it.
00:23:34Wait, wait, wait.
00:23:37Why are you doing it here?
00:23:39I could ask you the same thing.
00:23:41It's against house rules.
00:23:42Mother's not going to be very happy.
00:23:44What did you do with this?
00:23:45Nothing.
00:23:46She was already gone.
00:23:48Shit.
00:23:49Where did she go?
00:23:50She went out the front door.
00:23:52I don't think she wanted to stay here tonight.
00:23:56Where would she have gone?
00:23:59There's only a few places in town that are even open.
00:24:03You could go look.
00:24:06Okay.
00:24:07Maybe downstairs in ten minutes.
00:24:11And put some clothes on.
00:24:12I'm engaged.
00:24:38Ma'am.
00:24:41It looks like we got a peeping Betty caught in the act out at the pall place.
00:24:44No, no, I'm staying here.
00:24:47Up there.
00:24:48I came down because I heard something.
00:24:51You heard a noise.
00:24:54What did it sound like?
00:24:57What?
00:24:58The sound that you heard.
00:24:59What did it sound like?
00:25:02It was just a sound.
00:25:04Was it like a...
00:25:08Help me!
00:25:11Sound?
00:25:13Um.
00:25:15No.
00:25:17It was a dragging sound.
00:25:20It was Mrs. Powell.
00:25:25Cancel that peeping Betty.
00:25:27Copy that, Sheriff.
00:25:29I think you'd better come with me.
00:25:31What?
00:25:32I didn't do anything.
00:25:33No, you're not in any trouble.
00:25:35I just thought you might like your phones in that pretty wedding dress bag.
00:25:39Oh.
00:25:40Great.
00:25:41I'll get my fiancé.
00:25:44You know, on second thought, I don't have a lot of time.
00:25:47Why don't you come to the station tomorrow and I'll give them to you.
00:25:49Around four o'clock.
00:25:51But the sign on your door said you'd be in early.
00:25:54I was.
00:25:55But I got crazy Carl in the back seat and I gotta get him to the county jail tonight.
00:26:05Can I go like this?
00:26:07Oh, sure.
00:26:08It'll only take about 15 minutes.
00:26:11Okay.
00:26:14Let's go.
00:26:22Ellie.
00:26:31Ellie.
00:26:32Ellie Mae.
00:26:40You sure are jumpy.
00:26:43What's the plan?
00:26:44We'll walk into town and ask if anybody's seen you.
00:26:48Walk?
00:26:49I don't drive.
00:26:52None of the townspeople seem to like me.
00:26:55They don't like any strangers.
00:26:57But you're with me.
00:26:58Nothing's gonna happen.
00:27:03That's crazy Carl.
00:27:07Hi.
00:27:08Pleasure to meet you.
00:27:10Carl makes the best moonshine in the whole state.
00:27:14Is it legal to make moonshine here?
00:27:18Nope.
00:27:19Hell no.
00:27:21Oh.
00:27:22Is that why you're going to jail?
00:27:24Well, Carl made the mistake of sleeping with the mayor's wife.
00:27:28No crime in that.
00:27:30But when the judge found out that he was sleeping with his wife, too, he threw the book at him.
00:27:36Literally.
00:27:37Almost took out my eye.
00:27:39Yeah, that's what you get for sleeping around, Carl.
00:27:43Maybe try getting a girlfriend?
00:27:47Old Carl's not the boyfriend type.
00:27:55You like fried pickles?
00:27:57Um, I don't know if I've ever had fried pickles.
00:28:00Oh, shut up.
00:28:02Ow.
00:28:02Vinegar pie?
00:28:04No.
00:28:04Chitlins?
00:28:05Goat stew?
00:28:07Slug burger?
00:28:10I think you're making these up, man.
00:28:12I think you're from Mars.
00:28:16So, how'd you meet your girlfriend?
00:28:19I was visiting Los Angeles looking at post-grad schools, and he was assigned to give me the
00:28:25campus tour.
00:28:26Love at first sight.
00:28:29Hardly.
00:28:30He was unfocused and completely scatterbrained.
00:28:34Didn't say one thing that was substantial.
00:28:38And then, at the end of the day, he looks at me and says, Liz, you're very wound up, and
00:28:44you're too serious.
00:28:47He did not.
00:28:49The nerve.
00:28:50Oh, and then he asked me if I wanted to go watch the sunset with him.
00:28:55The nerve?
00:28:56How presumptuous.
00:28:58Right?
00:28:59A little bit of that Chad swagger.
00:29:02She finally agreed.
00:29:04You charm her.
00:29:06Well, Liz is like this little tightly wound ball of perfection.
00:29:11But, uh, all of her best qualities are sort of her little imperfections.
00:29:16Aw.
00:29:17And you're a romantic.
00:29:19He's a romantic.
00:29:21You know what he got me for our first anniversary?
00:29:24A spa package with Senate oils included?
00:29:27A diamond ring.
00:29:29Tennis shoes and a t-shirt.
00:29:31I didn't know neither.
00:29:38Liz, I'm going to run in and grab your stuff.
00:29:41Carol, you be nice.
00:29:43She's spoken for.
00:29:53Liz.
00:29:55You're a lucky girl.
00:29:58Thanks, Carl.
00:30:02Any chance you can help me get out of these cuffs?
00:30:06The keys are on the keychain.
00:30:11That's not going to happen.
00:30:22Hi, Sarah.
00:30:23Can I get three grave makers?
00:30:24You got it, Ellie.
00:30:36Huh.
00:30:40What's taking so long?
00:30:43Maybe I had to drop a deuce.
00:30:53Oh, shit!
00:30:54They got him!
00:30:59Liz, don't leave me!
00:31:01Please!
00:31:10Run!
00:31:12We're moving!
00:31:13We're moving!
00:31:13We're moving!
00:31:14We're moving!
00:31:15We're moving!
00:31:16We're moving!
00:31:16We're moving!
00:31:18We're moving!
00:31:22We're moving!
00:31:22We're moving!
00:31:23Thanks, Sarah.
00:31:26You like dancing?
00:31:29We love dancing.
00:31:31Every Thursday, they clear out the tables and it's a big dance floor.
00:31:34With a disco ball.
00:31:39Disco ball?
00:31:46Drink up.
00:31:47Drink up, city boy.
00:31:48Drink up, city boy.
00:31:50I'm trying to find Liz.
00:31:52Eh.
00:31:53That's right.
00:31:54Liz disappeared.
00:31:56That girl is wound so tight.
00:31:58Might have imploded.
00:32:01Look.
00:32:02You guys don't know Liz like I do.
00:32:06He's a romantic.
00:32:08Have you seen her?
00:32:10I love this song.
00:32:12Let's dance.
00:32:13Now?
00:32:15She was asking me.
00:32:30Hi.
00:32:32You shouldn't be here.
00:32:34It's not safe.
00:32:37This whole place is cursed.
00:32:40What?
00:32:42Get out while you can.
00:32:44They'll come for you.
00:32:46They'll come for you.
00:32:51Who?
00:32:58What is this?
00:33:04Is that a secret?
00:33:11Dude, what are you on?
00:33:12Come on, Larry.
00:33:13Let's not scare the customers.
00:33:24Don't listen to him.
00:33:25Don't listen to him.
00:33:25He wears aluminum foil over his underwear.
00:33:28What?
00:33:29He said a UFO took him when he was little.
00:33:31And when they brought him back, he was clairvoyant.
00:33:34But I don't know why clairvoyant would come here every night and get drunk.
00:33:40I need to find Liz.
00:33:46Hold up.
00:33:47Hold up.
00:33:50Okay.
00:33:51I can't believe they got the sheriff.
00:33:54What the hell is going on?
00:33:55They got him.
00:33:57They got him.
00:33:58Who?
00:33:59Zombies the fucking zombies, Liz.
00:34:04No.
00:34:06No, maybe each of them got burned.
00:34:08This is bad.
00:34:11If there's one, there's more.
00:34:12And they'll be coming for us.
00:34:15Zombies aren't real.
00:34:16No.
00:34:17Why?
00:34:18Because you never saw one.
00:34:19Liz, help me get out of these cuffs.
00:34:22How?
00:34:23Come here.
00:34:23Come here.
00:34:27Spit on my arm and my wrists.
00:34:33Ew, no.
00:34:34No.
00:34:34We don't have time.
00:34:35Liz, spit.
00:34:37Lubrication.
00:34:38I can't protect you with these on.
00:34:41Spit.
00:34:42Okay.
00:34:43Oh, God.
00:34:46No.
00:34:48What?
00:34:49Nothing.
00:34:50I got a gag reflex to spit.
00:34:52Just keep on.
00:34:53Go, go, go, go.
00:35:02Again.
00:35:06A few more.
00:35:07No.
00:35:07No.
00:35:09Ugh.
00:35:14Almost there.
00:35:16Ugh.
00:35:20Ugh.
00:35:21Ugh.
00:35:22Ugh.
00:35:23Ugh.
00:35:24Ugh.
00:35:25So gross.
00:35:30Run!
00:35:34it'd be cute if they had those little umbrellas for the drinks you think
00:35:40okay look this has been this has been a really good time
00:35:46i need to find my fiance i haven't seen her if she left the house and just started walking
00:35:53she could be anywhere did you check down by the river that's a great idea i didn't think that
00:36:01what's down by the river the river silly okay well why would someone go down to the river
00:36:08it's the closest lit up thing to the house looks like you're walking towards something
00:36:12but when you get there it's just a bunch of big empty buildings and lots
00:36:16okay so let's go back cutie
00:36:23my car's gonna be ready tomorrow right might be ready sooner than i thought
00:36:32will you please tell me what's going on i've got a plan we'll wait for the barge we'll
00:36:39swim out and we'll ride it down a few hundred miles what no i need to find chad and and
00:36:48what happened to the sheriff i told you he's a zombie there must have been one hiding in the
00:36:53police station everyone in this town is crazy i don't think that's a very fair statement
00:37:01you've only met a few of us i'm being unfair
00:37:06nah you're right
00:37:09just hard to hear sometimes
00:37:12look either you tell me what's going on or i'm out of here
00:37:15where are you gonna go
00:37:17down there
00:37:19not a great idea
00:37:21okay well down towards those towers
00:37:25good luck with that they'll find you down there
00:37:29home
00:37:31can i ask you a question
00:37:33sure you're my new best friend
00:37:36okay um why no cell phones and wi-fi and normal stuff
00:37:42just how it's always been it's our normal
00:37:46have you ever left this place
00:37:48sure i have
00:37:50there's a big carnival i go to every year out on highway 67
00:37:53they got a big old gator and this man he always puts his head in the gator's mouth
00:37:57but then i heard that the gator bit his head and squished it like a melon
00:38:01it's really sad because that was my favorite part
00:38:04not not the head squishing part but
00:38:11is that the prize you've got
00:38:15who wants to travel when you live in paradise
00:38:17that's what mama always says
00:38:20i shouldn't be telling you this
00:38:23you have to promise not to say anything to anyone ever
00:38:29who am i gonna tell
00:38:31yeah you're right
00:38:33they started mining
00:38:34back in 1850
00:38:37all up and down the river
00:38:39the town was booming and money was flowing
00:38:42and then people got greedy
00:38:44in 1906
00:38:46one mining group
00:38:48they hit a very toxic substance
00:38:51that was oozing out of the rock
00:38:53and almost instantly the miners started dying
00:38:57at least that's what they thought
00:39:00the boss saw something happen to the miners and instantly made a split decision to blow the only exit out
00:39:10with the miners still inside
00:39:12when they told the public
00:39:14that the miners were killed
00:39:16the town was angry
00:39:18and they were also scared
00:39:20about what was oozing out of the rock
00:39:24can you just tell me what happened to the sheriff
00:39:26you young people are so impatient
00:39:28i'm getting to it
00:39:30okay sorry
00:39:33what nobody knew was
00:39:35they didn't die
00:39:36and they would never die
00:39:39they became the undead
00:39:42and no one would have ever known
00:39:45but
00:39:47in 1972
00:39:48a rich developer from new york came here
00:39:50and he wanted to build a gambling resort
00:39:52right here on the river
00:39:53they went into the mine
00:39:55when they broke through
00:39:56several construction workers were attacked by the undead
00:40:02how come no one knows about this
00:40:04the developer had the mine sealed
00:40:07and demolished
00:40:08so that work had been done
00:40:09and left
00:40:11and the town
00:40:12they acted like it never happened
00:40:16so if the mine was patched up
00:40:19then
00:40:20how did the sheriff turn?
00:40:23every now and then
00:40:24a few will find their way out
00:40:27and you just live like this?
00:40:29like it's normal?
00:40:31it is normal
00:40:32to us
00:40:36look
00:40:36you can't pretend like
00:40:37you weren't waiting for me naked
00:40:41i wasn't waiting for you
00:40:46you're talking about liz?
00:40:51you're a lesbian
00:40:52whoa
00:40:53easy with the labels cowboy
00:40:54i like boys
00:40:56i just prefer kissing girls
00:40:58okay
00:40:59it's like
00:41:00hot dogs and ice cream
00:41:03what?
00:41:05kissing a girl is like ice cream
00:41:07it's soft and sweet
00:41:09and each pair of lips
00:41:10is like a different flavor
00:41:11of creamy awesomeness
00:41:12but
00:41:14sometimes
00:41:14you just feel like a hot dog
00:41:18excuse me
00:41:23and i wasn't flirting with you at dinner
00:41:25i was amusing myself
00:41:27big difference
00:41:37wait
00:41:43okay
00:41:44i need you to do me a favor
00:41:46you see that rope hanging down
00:41:49yeah
00:41:49yep
00:41:51all right
00:41:51i need you to stand on my shoulders
00:41:53reach it and pull it down
00:41:55what is it?
00:41:57emergency supplies
00:41:58for nightlight tonight
00:42:00you ready?
00:42:02i guess
00:42:03okay
00:42:04all right
00:42:05ready?
00:42:07okay i'm ready
00:42:07you go
00:42:08how?
00:42:09just throw a leg over
00:42:11yep watch the
00:42:12okay
00:42:13yep go
00:42:14i don't know
00:42:15you can do it
00:42:16i can't
00:42:17oh god
00:42:17come on you got it
00:42:18i don't
00:42:19i don't
00:42:19i don't got it
00:42:20i can't
00:42:20i don't
00:42:21liz
00:42:22okay
00:42:26here i got something
00:42:36all right
00:42:36if you stand on that
00:42:37then climb on my shoulders
00:42:38then reach the rope
00:42:40then pull it down
00:42:41you got it?
00:42:43all right
00:42:43here we go
00:42:43all right
00:42:44get on
00:42:46ready?
00:42:47you know
00:42:48ready?
00:42:50yep
00:42:50if you stand on it
00:42:53you can just reach it
00:42:58oh
00:42:59okay
00:43:00all right
00:43:03spot me
00:43:05go
00:43:10oh yeah
00:43:12okay
00:43:13okay
00:43:13what do we got?
00:43:16what's in there?
00:43:17well
00:43:20zombie repellent
00:43:22never leave home without it
00:43:25you did
00:43:27i was in handcuffs
00:43:29i was in handcuffs
00:43:30all right
00:43:30what else we got in here
00:43:32oh yes
00:43:35moonshine
00:43:37and how's that gonna help?
00:43:39have you ever had moonshine?
00:43:41no i'm not a good drinker
00:43:44a little bit of this
00:43:45a little bit of this and all your troubles melt away
00:43:49all right
00:43:50what else we got in here
00:43:55i thought i had more but
00:43:58i guess that's it
00:44:01great
00:44:04look there's just no such thing as zombies
00:44:07if you don't believe what you saw with your own lying eyes i don't know what to tell you
00:44:12all right so hypothetical let's say there are zombies
00:44:17how many are there?
00:44:19could be hundreds
00:44:20they escape from the mines every now and then
00:44:28she's not here
00:44:30maybe she hitched a ride out of town
00:44:33no
00:44:35liz wouldn't just leave me here
00:44:39maybe
00:44:40you don't know her as well as you think you do
00:44:42i know everything about liz
00:44:45okay
00:44:47any man that says they know everything about a girlfriend
00:44:51probably doesn't
00:44:52how do you know?
00:44:54because
00:44:54men are on a need to know basis
00:44:58um
00:45:00that may be you but that's not everybody
00:45:02everybody
00:45:04when you find her ask
00:45:06i will
00:45:07but don't go asking questions you don't want to know the answer to
00:45:11all right
00:45:12you don't want me to ask that's what it is
00:45:15you've been warned
00:45:17all right well
00:45:18prepare to be wronged
00:45:23what?
00:45:24no reply to that?
00:45:25Ellie Mae?
00:45:27i know where she might be
00:45:29where?
00:45:29come on
00:45:34so what's the plan?
00:45:35we're just gonna wait here?
00:45:37i am
00:45:39there's two places we go when zombies are on the loose
00:45:42the river
00:45:43because zombies don't like water
00:45:44and the old church
00:45:47because zombies don't like church?
00:45:50hmm
00:45:50they don't like our church
00:45:53i have to get back to the house
00:45:56i'm not leaving with sunrises
00:45:57we don't know how many have escaped
00:46:01so we're just gonna wait here
00:46:03listen sweet pea
00:46:04i've been running from zombies before you were born
00:46:06if there's one thing i know is that
00:46:08scared
00:46:08i have to get Permest
00:46:11oh my gosh
00:46:14oh my god
00:46:16come on
00:46:22came on
00:46:26oh...
00:46:28oh my god
00:46:28oh
00:46:32oh my god
00:46:41Die, zombie bitch.
00:46:46Looks like I got here just in time.
00:46:53Is that Carl?
00:46:56Maybe I could have got here a little sooner.
00:47:01Come on.
00:47:02Your boyfriend's looking for you.
00:47:05So this stuff really works?
00:47:07Not for you.
00:47:09It was empty.
00:47:13Chad's gonna flip when he finds out what I was doing tonight.
00:47:17He's searching for you right now.
00:47:21He knows I'm gone?
00:47:23He's been out with Ellie Mae all night looking for you.
00:47:27Oh.
00:47:30I know that look.
00:47:33Ellie Mae's not a threat.
00:47:39She's pretty and I'm sure a lot of fun.
00:47:42That's true.
00:47:44But Chad's not her type.
00:47:50He doesn't seem like your type either.
00:47:54Everybody says that, but we just work together.
00:48:00Like yin and yang.
00:48:02I bet he fills all your holes.
00:48:06What?
00:48:07Oh, not like that.
00:48:09It's a saying.
00:48:11You know, if someone fills your shortcomings and you fill theirs,
00:48:15you make each other better.
00:48:21He fills my holes.
00:48:26You didn't say where we're going.
00:48:29How did you know Liz was the one you wanted to marry?
00:48:34I had this boyfriend once I was so in love with.
00:48:38I knew he was the one I was going to marry and I had seven babies with.
00:48:42Seven?
00:48:42I mean, my Aunt Susie had eight and it ruined her body, so seven's my limit.
00:48:49Anyway, every night he would drop me off and I would run upstairs and start planning our wedding.
00:48:55Every detail of it.
00:48:56My dress, the guest list, we were going to go on our honeymoon.
00:49:01It would have been perfect.
00:49:04What happened?
00:49:06He was walking home drunk one night on the tracks and got hit by a train.
00:49:12That's horrible.
00:49:13I thought so too.
00:49:15I first.
00:49:16And then I found out he was walking home from having sex with Jessica Penner.
00:49:21Well, he got what he deserved.
00:49:23Zombie dear, right?
00:49:25Turn it around, turn it around.
00:49:29Took you long enough.
00:49:33We're going to church.
00:49:35What?
00:49:36You asked where we're going, come on.
00:49:45Jesus.
00:49:49You religious?
00:50:00What's in the bag?
00:50:02Oh, it's Carl's emergency supplies.
00:50:05It's an empty can of zombie repellent and some of his moonshine.
00:50:11Really?
00:50:13Carl wasn't good for much but sleeping with other people's wives and making killer moonshine.
00:50:26Oh, that's what I'm talking about.
00:50:31Go on.
00:50:34It'll put some hair on your chest.
00:50:45Oh, wow.
00:50:52Oh.
00:50:54One more.
00:50:58I'm going to regret this.
00:51:00Moonshine regrets a whole different kind of regret.
00:51:03That's why we keep drinking it.
00:51:11Oh.
00:51:13Oh.
00:51:20I may have underestimated you, princess.
00:51:28Be a real shame.
00:51:30The zombie showed up right now.
00:51:31Stop.
00:51:33I'm trying to pee in peace.
00:51:38So what do you do for money?
00:51:42Opening a restaurant.
00:51:44Oh, we have one of those here.
00:51:46It's called the Country Kitchen.
00:51:48It was called Jim's Country Kitchen.
00:51:51But then Jim murdered somebody and went to jail.
00:51:54So they took his name out.
00:51:58Mine's a Tiki bar.
00:52:00What's that?
00:52:01It's like a Hawaiian, Polynesian-themed bar.
00:52:04Good music and fun decorations.
00:52:08Just classic escapism.
00:52:10That sounds fun.
00:52:12Yeah.
00:52:13Liz isn't too thrilled about it, though.
00:52:15But she doesn't drink much.
00:52:18I never used to be a big drinker, either.
00:52:21And then I started doing a lot.
00:52:22Now I really like it.
00:52:25Liz, she takes more than one sip and she gets really emotional.
00:52:31And then she throws up.
00:52:36I can't.
00:52:38I don't know if I can marry Chad.
00:52:42He's so wonderful.
00:52:45That's a good thing.
00:52:47Right?
00:52:48No.
00:52:50That's not good.
00:52:53It's great.
00:52:55Then what's the problem?
00:52:59My friends, they...
00:53:02They...
00:53:05They...
00:53:06They...
00:53:08They don't like him?
00:53:10I think they like him better.
00:53:14What makes you think that?
00:53:16They told me.
00:53:19That doesn't mean...
00:53:22That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.
00:53:25It doesn't.
00:53:27You and me...
00:53:29We're the serious types.
00:53:31But we get shit done.
00:53:35But no one ever says thank you.
00:53:44You got that right.
00:53:51More zombies.
00:53:53I got it.
00:54:13Don't get too cocky.
00:54:14That's when they'll get you.
00:54:18You know...
00:54:21You're great and everything.
00:54:22But the fact that you don't have...
00:54:24Social media like a Facebook or Instagram.
00:54:28I just don't think we're ever going to see each other again.
00:54:31You know?
00:54:33But uh...
00:54:34I really hope you find your lose.
00:54:36You know?
00:54:38That I ain't lose a lose.
00:54:41Yeah.
00:54:42I meant more of like a...
00:54:45Significant other...
00:54:47Kind of thing.
00:54:48You know?
00:54:49I hope I do too.
00:54:53Hear that?
00:55:07Liz!
00:55:08You need to get over here, big guy.
00:55:10Tell him.
00:55:25Are you okay?
00:55:27I'm scared.
00:55:30This is zombies.
00:55:32I saw them too.
00:55:34No, I'm...
00:55:35I'm scared about getting married.
00:55:38I'm scared about having kids and...
00:55:41And buying a house and...
00:55:44In the right school zone and...
00:55:47And then what if we don't work and we have to worry about custody and then...
00:55:52In retirement?
00:55:54Do you know how much it costs to retire?
00:55:58In college?
00:55:59Good job.
00:56:00Shit, we should probably just have one kid.
00:56:02Because that costs so much.
00:56:05And I want to be supportive of your Tiki bar.
00:56:08But...
00:56:09Do you know how many bar restaurants go under?
00:56:14It's staggering.
00:56:18Honey, I'm scared about all those things too.
00:56:21Really?
00:56:23Yeah.
00:56:26Well, why aren't you freaking out?
00:56:27Why didn't you say anything?
00:56:31Because...
00:56:32We'll have each other.
00:56:35I know that together we can do anything.
00:56:48Honey.
00:56:52Honey, were you throwing up?
00:56:57Honey.
00:57:05My dress!
00:57:13Oh...
00:57:13Oh, thank God.
00:57:24Help me!
00:57:26Help me!
00:57:28Help!
00:57:29Help me!
00:57:31Liz!
00:57:33Help!
00:57:34Help me!
00:57:57No!
00:58:00No!
00:58:03Oh, no.
00:58:07Why?
00:58:17I'm sorry, Liz.
00:58:21You'll find another even better wedding dress.
00:58:26Oh, no.
00:58:28Did you lose your ring?
00:58:32I'll find it.
00:58:34Wait.
00:58:37It's at Mrs. Powell's house.
00:58:40Are you sure?
00:58:43It's on the side table.
00:58:47So...
00:58:48What do you want to do?
00:58:52We're gonna go get it.
00:58:54Okay.
00:58:55Bye!
00:59:33It's not here.
00:59:35What do you mean it's not there?
00:59:36It's not here.
00:59:37What do you mean it's not there?
00:59:38Where else is it gonna be?
00:59:40I always put my ring on the nightstand when I take a shower.
00:59:46Okay.
00:59:47Uh...
00:59:48I was just your steps.
00:59:49What's the last thing you remember?
00:59:51I heard Mrs. Powell outside.
00:59:54I think she was dragging a body and cutting it up in the basement.
00:59:58A body?
00:59:59Why would you be cutting up a body?
01:00:02Oh, fuck.
01:00:04You broke the house rules.
01:00:07I said lights out at nine.
01:00:13I think you actually said ten.
01:00:23You shouldn't have come back for your ring.
01:00:25I was getting worried that my little Jimmy wouldn't have enough to eat this week.
01:00:31But God brought you back to us.
01:00:34I fed him a few hours ago.
01:00:36But you already know that.
01:00:39Jimmy was my youngest and was turned when he was only seventeen.
01:00:43The sheriff found him and brought him back to me.
01:00:46It may be a few hours.
01:00:48But when he's hungry,
01:00:50he'll come for you.
01:00:54One more thing.
01:00:58In my basement,
01:01:00no one can hear you scream.
01:01:27you know,
01:01:28if I'm gonna die,
01:01:31there's no one I'd rather die without a child.
01:01:32than you.
01:01:34Aw.
01:01:40Jack, please do something.
01:01:42I can't do anything.
01:01:43These are...
01:01:47I have an idea.
01:01:48What?
01:01:48It's gross.
01:01:50We have to spit on them.
01:01:53Okay.
01:01:54All right.
01:02:23All right.
01:02:44Not again.
01:02:54It's empty.
01:03:04What?
01:03:08Zombies are crippled by hairspray?
01:03:14Liz, I think we're being played.
01:03:17Why?
01:03:20For their own personal amusement.
01:03:23Why would anyone do that?
01:03:27I don't know.
01:03:28We're going to find out.
01:03:44Hey!
01:03:47Can I help you?
01:03:48I want to talk with Tommy.
01:03:50Who?
01:03:51Tommy, the girl who works here?
01:03:54I'm the only one who works here.
01:03:56Well, she was working here yesterday.
01:03:59You must be thinking of someplace else.
01:04:09Hey.
01:04:11Hey.
01:04:19What the hell?
01:04:22Come on.
01:04:27Marcello! Wow. A nice building.
01:04:32Give me the keys.
01:04:37Where are you going?
01:04:38Going to get some answers. Come on!
01:04:44How do you walk so fast?
01:04:52Please, we can just walk into the house.
01:04:55Why? What's going to happen?
01:04:56I'm going to be arrested by a sheriff that doesn't exist?
01:05:00Marcello, wait, wait, wait.
01:05:02What?
01:05:03Okay, all I'm saying is that we should just be polite and just ask someone to happen.
01:05:11Are you insane?
01:05:17Liz! Why are you so mad?
01:05:26What day is it?
01:05:30Sunday.
01:05:33And what time?
01:05:3810.37.
01:05:42And that doesn't mean anything to you.
01:05:47Are you hungry?
01:05:51I don't know.
01:05:53That's the problem. We missed our own wedding.
01:06:01But Liz, it's just the two of us. We can get married anytime we want.
01:06:08That's not the point. You didn't even remember.
01:06:18I mean, to be fair, there were zombies.
01:06:25I just want to go home.
01:06:40What the fuck?
01:06:41When we were down by the river and you were being eaten by the zombie and I saved her, she
01:06:46was on the ground.
01:06:47That's Carl.
01:06:47Yeah, that's Carl.
01:06:49Are they making fun of us?
01:06:50And I'm chewing the tobacco and I see her eye in a moment and I said, help yourself?
01:07:06Oh, hi.
01:07:13You people are horrible.
01:07:16Is this your idea of fun?
01:07:19Scaring people for sport?
01:07:24Chad, do something.
01:07:26What do you want me to do?
01:07:31Liz.
01:07:36I'm sorry you didn't enjoy your experience, but this is what you pay for.
01:07:46Liz.
01:07:48I don't know why you're so upset.
01:07:50I thought we did a really good job.
01:07:53You're all crazy!
01:08:00I know the site says no refunds.
01:08:03But if you're this unhappy, I'll go talk to everyone and see what we can do.
01:08:10What the fuck are you talking about?
01:08:14Charles and Elsie, Extreme Zombie Experience.
01:08:16Booked and paid three months ago.
01:08:19That's not even the same names.
01:08:21They're not that far off.
01:08:24Well, if you aren't Charles and Elsie, where are they?
01:08:29Hey, it's just a girl from work.
01:08:32Nobody from work sends me nudes!
01:08:34This has never happened before.
01:08:37Do you even work at the garage?
01:08:38What happened to all your tattoos?
01:08:41No.
01:08:42They were fake.
01:08:44My real name is Mary Elizabeth.
01:08:46I own the bakery on Main Street.
01:08:50Thomas is the morning radio guy over at WGLC.
01:08:54All country, all day.
01:08:56100.1 WGLC.
01:09:00Richard is the city attorney.
01:09:03Liz is a lovely girl, by the way.
01:09:06Mrs. Powell is actually Mrs. Powell.
01:09:09I can never remember my fake name.
01:09:11And Barry was the sheriff.
01:09:13He owns the sawmill down by the river.
01:09:16Liz speaks very highly of you.
01:09:19So you're all just actors?
01:09:22Yeah.
01:09:27Okay.
01:09:29Where are you going?
01:09:33We missed our wedding this morning.
01:09:37And it's all my fault.
01:09:38It doesn't even matter because it's too late.
01:09:43So thanks.
01:09:45Hold on there, son.
01:09:47It's never too late.
01:09:49This little hiccup shouldn't stop you from getting married.
01:09:53Look, I think things are a bit beyond repair at this point.
01:09:57You guys don't understand.
01:09:58Liz is perfect, right?
01:10:00She's smart.
01:10:01She's funny.
01:10:01She bought a bass guitar.
01:10:03She doesn't play bass, but she's going to learn.
01:10:06She writes handwritten birthday cards for people on their birthdays.
01:10:11Who does that?
01:10:13It's a really nice thing to do.
01:10:15I don't know what I am.
01:10:17Liz was my one in a million.
01:10:20Right?
01:10:21And I blew it.
01:10:23I have never seen her look at me the way that she did this morning.
01:10:27I disappointed her in literally the worst way possible.
01:10:33Chadwick Allen Webber.
01:10:37There's no one on the planet I would rather marry than you.
01:10:43This girl loves you a lot.
01:10:47You find the good in everyone, in every situation.
01:10:52I bet you're even starting to like these people.
01:10:56Yeah.
01:10:58You know that Clem has his own radio show?
01:11:00Did you do that?
01:11:01100.1.
01:11:02All country.
01:11:04All day.
01:11:05Yeah.
01:11:08You're going to make a great husband and an amazing father.
01:11:13I'd marry you anytime, anywhere.
01:11:17Because there's nothing we can't do together.
01:11:19Right?
01:11:20You know, if you guys still want to get married today, we can make that happen, right?
01:11:27My dress got ruined.
01:11:31Gus went a little overboard out of the old church.
01:11:35We can find you a dress.
01:11:38Really?
01:11:40I suggest you get up there and give her a kiss before she changes her mind.
01:11:49Looks like we've got some work to do here.
01:12:18You may be seated.
01:12:24Howdy, folks.
01:12:26Howdy, Dan.
01:12:27We're here today to marry Elizabeth Marie Gamble and Chadwick Allen Weber.
01:12:35Although new to our town, an unfortunate misunderstanding has led to a shotgun wedding.
01:12:41Unlike others we've had, no offense, Sarah and Mike.
01:12:46We're going to keep this short so we can get to the food.
01:12:49Chad, do you take Elizabeth to be your wife?
01:12:53I do.
01:12:55And Elizabeth, do you take Chad to be your husband?
01:13:00I do.
01:13:01If anyone can show just cause why Chad and Liz may not be lawfully wed,
01:13:08speak now or forever hold your peace.
01:13:21Larry!
01:13:23It's over!
01:13:24Don't you check your phone?
01:13:36Sorry, my phone is dead.
01:13:38Sit down, Larry.
01:13:48Now we'll get to the good stuff.
01:13:49I signed my name on a dotted line and it was good, good, good.
01:13:57The cows got milk at supper time and it was good, good, good.
01:14:06The moon twinkled high in the southern sky and it was good, good, good.
01:14:13Now the honeymoon's over, it just up and died, but it was good, good, good.
01:14:23All the good times and the bad.
01:14:27The best times I ever had.
01:14:31The choice between happy and sad.
01:14:36All the good times and the bad, bad, bad.
01:14:42Liz.
01:14:44She gets a little cranky.
01:14:49Late afternoon.
01:14:51Oh, it's really coming down.
01:14:54Okay.
01:14:58She writes handwritten birthday cards for people on their birthdays.
01:15:04Who does that?
01:15:05She was my wife.
01:15:07Fuck it.
01:15:09Is this...
01:15:11Is this your idea of...
01:15:17I suggest you go up there and give her a kiss before she changes to it.
01:15:20And then it's steady all over the fucking place.
01:15:22Sorry.
01:15:24All right.
01:15:25You're choking me a little bit.
01:15:26I'm sorry.
01:15:30That's too good.
01:15:32I'm sorry.
01:15:33Mosquito.
01:15:35What?
01:15:36Every Thursday the tables get out.
01:15:39No, they don't.
01:15:40They don't get out.
01:15:41Every Thursday.
01:15:44But when you get there, it's just a big bunch.
01:15:47Oh my God.
01:15:50And when you get there, it's...
01:15:51So take it back away.
01:15:52Yeah.
01:15:57Get out of here.
01:15:59With...
01:16:01Stop.
01:16:04The Devil.
01:16:09It's soft and sweet.
01:16:11And every pair of lips is a different color, different color flavor.
01:16:16No, it's not.
01:16:18And this man, he always puts his head in the gator's mouth.
01:16:20But then I think...
01:16:22No.
01:16:23No.
01:16:28Why?
01:16:31I'm sorry.
01:16:35What the fuck?
01:16:38Honey, what are you throwing up?
01:16:41Come on.
01:16:42And I want to be supportive of your tiki bar.
01:16:46I don't know.
01:17:03Hello?
01:17:06Is it over?
01:17:10Are we done?
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