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00:03From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news.
00:10This is The Daily Show with your host, Josh Johnson.
00:27Welcome to The Daily Show.
00:29I'm Josh Johnson.
00:30We've got so much to talk about tonight.
00:33Melania solves the female loneliness epidemic.
00:36Dr. Oz leads the world's least exciting parade.
00:39And there is an RFK Jr. raccoon penis story that will leave you saying,
00:45I wish I didn't hear that RFK Jr. raccoon penis story.
00:49So let's get into another edition of The Worst Wing.
00:58What a bunch of losers.
01:04Let's kick things off with Homeland Security, which used to be led by Kristi Noem until she was asked to
01:10hand in her gun, her badge, and her keys to her f***ing plane.
01:17Even though Noem is gone, we're still finding out more about her time at DHS, including the $20,000 she
01:23spent on a horse rental for a TV ad.
01:28Which is crazy.
01:30Horses don't even use money.
01:33What do they need $20,000 for?
01:35But now she's gone.
01:37And this week, President Trump officially swore in Noem's replacement, Oklahoma Senator, and most Oklahoma-sounding man,
01:45Mark Wayne Mullin.
01:48Let's see how it went.
01:49There's the only Native American.
01:51I didn't know that, huh?
01:53Let me look at you.
01:54I think that's all right.
02:00Let me look at you?
02:03Let me look at you feels like racist T-ball.
02:05Like, stay right there.
02:08Be still.
02:09I'm about to knock this out of the park.
02:12I mean, maybe Trump was just excited because he thinks Mark Wayne might be one of the village people.
02:18But here's something I noticed.
02:20He spent all that time talking about Mark Wayne being the only Native American senator,
02:24and not once did he make an Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas joke.
02:29That never would have happened five years ago, which means he's either getting less racist or he has dementia.
02:37He definitely has dementia.
02:47But let's move on to Dr. Oz, Trump's head of Medicare and Medicaid,
02:51and guy at the urinal next to you saying your pee should be clearer.
02:55He just came out with an important message about your health.
02:58He's on the move.
03:00Let's go, Chris.
03:01Diane, just join me.
03:02I love walking.
03:03It's a whole special joy.
03:05It makes you think a little clearer, get outside a little bit, get your heart pumping.
03:09It turns out if you could walk just 20 minutes a day,
03:12it could save our country $100 billion in reduced health expenditures.
03:16That's why it's so important to create a little flash mob.
03:18Let's go, team.
03:23This is what happens when you try to do one of those Jennifer Hudson spirit tunnels,
03:26but you only have white people.
03:37Also, no one exercises to improve the government's finances.
03:42Imagine if your Peloton instructor was like,
03:45Okay, five more minutes and Kash Patel can fly private to Burning Man.
03:54But are we really advertising walking?
03:57Isn't that like a basic biological activity?
04:00What's the next video in this series?
04:02Hi, I'm Dr. Oz.
04:03Have you tried shitting in a toilet?
04:07It could save us billions.
04:11But at least Dr. Oz is an actual doctor.
04:13You can't say the same for RFK Jr.
04:19He's our health secretary and also the man that looks like last year's Halloween pumpkin
04:24you forgot to throw out.
04:27If you questioned his judgment after those stories came out about him
04:31taking home dead whales and dead bears, I have great news.
04:35There's a new animal you can add to the list.
04:37The New York Post reports that in a 2001 diary entry,
04:41Robert F. Kennedy Jr. wrote about cutting off the penis of a road-killed raccoon
04:46while his kids waited patiently in the car so that he could examine it later.
04:55What is wrong with this man?
04:58He cut off a raccoon's penis and saved it for later like some kind of raccoon dick push-pop.
05:05And I know he put it right in his jeans pocket, too.
05:08Didn't even wrap it in a tissue or anything.
05:12Every time I hear about one of these RFK stories,
05:15they always mention that his kids were waiting patiently.
05:19Which means RFK just doesn't know the difference between patience and horror.
05:25I'm sure all the hostages in a bank robbery are waiting patiently to go home.
05:31It must have been so traumatic for his kids.
05:33Any car trip with him could turn into a roadkill excursion at any moment.
05:38When he asks his kids if they want to go run errands with them,
05:40they must be like,
05:45can't you just beat us?
05:56I mean, you was an extension core like a regular dad.
06:01Regardless, you will never, and I mean never,
06:04beat RFK Jr. in a game of Never Have I Ever.
06:09You'd be sitting with him like,
06:10Never Have I Ever eaten a raccoon's I did it.
06:15I didn't even say what part yet.
06:17Doesn't matter.
06:19But let's move on to Donald Trump's third
06:22and definitely, probably final wife, Melania.
06:26She doesn't spend a lot of time with her husband these days,
06:29but don't worry.
06:30I'm sure she's doing normal, traditional first lady things.
06:33Humanoid robot figure three made its debut at the White House on Wednesday
06:37as part of First Lady Melania Trump's Fostering the Future Together Summit.
06:42Wow.
06:43Um, I don't know if he's been eating better,
06:46but Donald Trump looks great.
06:51Look, I know this is supposed to be for some kind of technology event,
06:54but look at this video.
06:56She's walking out with that robot like they just got married.
07:01Ladies and gentlemen,
07:02for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Wally.
07:15And, by the way, I like how Melania is flexing on that robot with her walk.
07:20Like, she's got a whole runway walk going while that robot is just doing the Biden shuffle.
07:27But anyway, after that weird entrance, it was time to get down to business.
07:31So Melania let the robot approach the table and take a seat so they could...
07:36Wait. Robot.
07:37Where are you going?
07:39Robot, come back.
07:41Don't go in that room.
07:42All our secrets are in that room.
07:45But the robot eventually found its way back to the front of the room,
07:48and it was time to see what this Terminator had to say.
07:54Thank you, First Lady Melania Trump, for inviting me to the White House.
07:58Oh, damn.
08:00That robot's a lady.
08:02I think that's pretty cool, but I'm sure Siri's pissed.
08:06You gave her legs?
08:08She just got here.
08:10For more on the First Lady's event,
08:12we go live to Washington, D.C. with Grace Koolenschmidt.
08:20Oh, no!
08:21Grace!
08:22Grace, what happened?
08:24I'm trying to remain calm right now,
08:26but Josh, the robo-pocalypse has happened.
08:30As soon as the cameras turned off,
08:32the robot announced that she had entered kill everyone mode.
08:36You can guess what happened next.
08:38The robot killed everyone?
08:40No, she started juggling.
08:42Five balls at once.
08:44It was awesome.
08:45But then something went haywire,
08:48and the robot killed everyone.
08:49Oh, no.
08:50Oh, this is terrible.
08:52Um, why is it terrible?
08:55Because the robot...
08:56Because the robot is a woman?
09:00What?
09:00No, wait.
09:01No, it's because she's taken over humanity.
09:04Mom, you'd hate that, wouldn't you, Josh?
09:07God forbid a woman is in charge.
09:11We can't have a robot apocalypse led by a girl.
09:15What if, what if they get their period in the middle of it?
09:19That's what you sound like.
09:22This has nothing to do with women.
09:25And robots don't even have periods.
09:27Oh, okay.
09:30So I guess every woman slash robot in menopause isn't a woman.
09:35I see you, Josh.
09:36I see you.
09:39No.
09:40No.
09:41No.
09:42Stop, stop, stop, stop.
09:44We...
09:44Can we get back to the robot apocalypse?
09:47Is Melania okay?
09:48Yes.
09:49But it was close.
09:50The robot almost got Melania,
09:52but I jumped in and saved her.
09:54You...
09:54You fought the robot?
09:55That's amazing.
09:56Oh, I bet you'd love to watch that, huh?
10:00Two ladies catfighting girl on girl,
10:03one with no clothes on,
10:05just a smooth, hairless body
10:06with a teeny tiny waist-like pow.
10:08The other manic pixie dream girl,
10:10hair everywhere,
10:11the banging body that don't quit.
10:14I don't even want to know
10:16what that mental image is doing to you
10:19under that desk, you sick perv.
10:26Grace, Grace,
10:27I promise I don't have a boner right now.
10:31Right, because strong women make you shrink.
10:37No, no, that's not...
10:38What?
10:39What?
10:41Listen, can you just tell us
10:43if the U.S. government has collapsed?
10:44Luckily, no.
10:46Our officials have left the city
10:48and are running the government
10:49from a bunker in rural Virginia.
10:51Oh, okay.
10:53Well, I guess they'll be safe outside the city.
10:55Why?
10:56Josh, I swear to God,
10:57if you're saying that it's because
10:58lady robots can't drive...
11:01No!
11:03No, it's because robots can't drive.
11:06But if robots could drive,
11:08I'm sure she could drive.
11:10And she could enslave humanity
11:12just as good as any male robot
11:13because she's gonna stand in her power
11:16and reclaiming her time
11:18and leaning in
11:19and girl-ballsing her way to the top
11:22because nevertheless, she persisted
11:25because this is her fight song
11:27and you're gonna hear her roar.
11:37Jesus!
11:38You're just, like, oozing
11:40performative male right now.
11:41Honestly?
11:42Screw you, Josh.
11:44The robot and I are gonna destroy you.
11:46I just need you to pick us up
11:47because both of us are really bad drivers.
11:50Grace Koolenschmidt, everybody.
11:52Happy Women's History Month.
11:54When we come back, we'll find out
11:56what other countries have wrong with them.
11:59Don't go away.
12:17Welcome back to The Daily Show.
12:19It's fair to say America has problems.
12:22At least five, by my count.
12:24But did you know that other countries
12:26also have problems?
12:28For a look at what's going on around the world,
12:30we turn to our senior international correspondent,
12:33Troy Iwata,
12:34for another edition of So Not Our Problem.
12:47Well, surprise, surprise.
12:49Everyone's still mad at America
12:51just because we tanked the global economy
12:54and started World War III
12:56and brought back all the diseases
12:58from the Dickens novels.
13:00Like, grow up.
13:01You know, like, you've never had
13:02a 250-year manic episode.
13:06But we're not the only country
13:07having a meant-to-be right now, okay?
13:10Other countries can also be a little de lulu.
13:13For instance, the Danish.
13:15They're more than just a pastry.
13:16I mean, you know,
13:19not much more,
13:20because the little freaks love to bake.
13:22When it comes to winning votes,
13:24politicians overseas are turning up the heat.
13:25In Denmark, they're campaigning in the sauna,
13:28sweating for support
13:29ahead of a general election next week.
13:31It's important for us politicians
13:32to meet people in a different way
13:34so that they can see
13:35that we are real human beings.
13:40This is how you're proving
13:41you're real human beings?
13:43By cornering me
13:45while I'm naked in a wooden box?
13:48Let's talk about your tax policy
13:50sometime when my asshole isn't sweating.
13:53Which, for the record,
13:55is almost never.
13:57You people are lucky you're Scandinavian.
14:00This only works in a country
14:01where everyone is hot.
14:02Can you imagine Chuck Schumer
14:04emerging from the mist?
14:07You know?
14:08Glasses halfway down his balls?
14:11Trying to convince you
14:12to give him five dollars?
14:14Unsubscribe, Chuck.
14:15Stop.
14:17The sauna is a sacred place
14:20where you go to decompress
14:21and try to ignore
14:22the straight married guys
14:23jerking each other off next to you.
14:25So, yeah.
14:26Maybe our politicians
14:27are constantly asking us for money,
14:29but at least it's not
14:30while we're counting their liver spots.
14:33So, sorry, Denmark.
14:34That is so not our problem.
14:43But when you think
14:44about European perverts,
14:46it's not usually the Danish.
14:48You know, it is usually,
14:49say it with me,
14:50the French.
14:54And their election season
14:55is also, as they would say,
14:58happening right now?
14:59A local mayor's race in France
15:01is gaining worldwide attention
15:03because of the names
15:04of the two candidates
15:05facing off against each other,
15:07Hitler versus Zelensky.
15:14Okay, nobody laugh, okay?
15:17This town desperately needed
15:18to find a new leader
15:19after the untimely death
15:20of Mayor Kanye von Epstein.
15:24Mr. Hitler, Mr. Hitler,
15:26you've been dealt
15:27a rough hand here,
15:28and I think you've got to do
15:30what all the world's
15:30biggest divas do.
15:31You just got to go by one name.
15:33You know, like Cher or Goofy.
15:36You can just be Charles
15:38because there's no way
15:40France is going to elect
15:41a guy named Hitler.
15:42Hitler has been re-elected
15:45as mayor.
15:50Wow.
15:51I never thought I'd say this,
15:52but congratulations, Hitler.
15:55So, yeah,
15:57maybe America elected
15:58a senator whose first name
15:59is Mark Wayne,
16:01but a mayor named Hitler?
16:03Hitler, sorry, France.
16:04That is...
16:14But, but Europe's
16:16not the only continent
16:16with problems.
16:17There's also a weird story
16:18out of Africa,
16:19and I'm not talking
16:20about the white girl
16:21from your high school
16:22who went on a mission trip
16:23and dug half a well.
16:24Canadian authorities
16:25arrested and charged
16:26a Chinese national
16:27with attempting to smuggle
16:282,200 live ants
16:30in his luggage.
16:31The smuggling is part
16:32of a larger global market
16:34of so-called ant aficionados
16:35who are willing
16:36to pay large sums of money
16:38for ant colonies
16:39in order to watch
16:40their complex social behavior
16:41up close.
16:43Ugh.
16:46Ant aficionado?
16:47Just give me a second.
16:48Gonna swipe left
16:49on that profile.
16:51Who knew the insect community
16:53had douchebags?
16:54I mean, these guys
16:55are trafficking ants
16:56because they want to watch
16:58social behaviors up close.
16:59I'll tell you what
17:00they're not seeing up close.
17:02Tiddies.
17:06Now,
17:08no.
17:09The good news is,
17:10the good news is
17:11he was punished
17:12for his crimes.
17:12I believe he was sentenced
17:13to death by a giant
17:14magnifying glass.
17:16But this,
17:17this is such a foreign problem.
17:19You don't see Americans
17:20smuggling ants
17:21out of Africa
17:22because we got into
17:23all that trouble
17:24in the past
17:24for smuggling people.
17:31So, yeah,
17:32our health secretary
17:33might have a worm
17:34in his brain,
17:35but at least he didn't
17:35have to sneak it
17:36through customs.
17:37Sorry, Africa,
17:39but bug smugglers
17:40are so not our problem.
17:49And finally,
17:50let's move on
17:51to everyone's favorite
17:52boutique dictatorship,
17:53North Korea.
17:54North Korean leader
17:55Kim Jong-un
17:56struck a defiant tone
17:58announcing his country
17:59has achieved permanent
18:00and irreversible status
18:02as a nuclear power.
18:04His daughter,
18:05Kim Jue,
18:06appeared by her father's side
18:08at the military parade
18:09that followed.
18:10Father and daughter
18:11were wearing
18:11matching black leather jackets
18:13and her presence
18:14will only fuel
18:15further speculation
18:16that the teenager,
18:18believed to be
18:18around 13 years of age,
18:20is being groomed
18:21for leadership.
18:22Wow.
18:23Okay, girl dad.
18:26God,
18:27can you imagine
18:28how stressful it is
18:28to teach your teenager
18:29how to drive a tank?
18:31He's just standing there
18:32like, clutch, clutch,
18:33now fire!
18:36That's my girl.
18:38But I can't believe
18:39North Korea's gonna have
18:40a female president
18:41before us,
18:42even if she has
18:42a nepo baby.
18:43Get your shit together,
18:44Maude Apatow.
18:46But you know who else
18:48really loves
18:48Kim Jue?
18:49North Koreans.
18:51You can practically
18:51hear them shouting,
18:52hooray, hooray,
18:54can we eat those flags?
18:57I don't know if
18:5813-year-olds
18:59should be dictators.
19:00They should be on TikTok
19:02calling me unk
19:02because I wear skinny jeans,
19:04or as I like to call them,
19:06jeans.
19:08Good luck with
19:09daddy's little despot.
19:10Fortunately,
19:11having a nuclear North Korea
19:12that will soon be
19:13in the hands
19:13of a teenage girl
19:15is...
19:16Actually,
19:16that is definitely
19:17our problem.
19:23Troy Iwata, everyone.
19:24When we come back,
19:25Asa Gonzalez
19:26will be joining me.
19:27Don't go away.
19:42Welcome back
19:42to The Daily Show.
19:44My guest tonight
19:46is an accomplished actor
19:47who stars in the action comedy
19:49Mike and Nick
19:49and Nick and Alice.
19:58So there's two Nicks.
20:00Well, you have some questions.
20:02I would imagine
20:02you have some questions.
20:03I had a lot of questions.
20:04Well, I do have a question.
20:07Which
20:08Nick's from the future?
20:10What?
20:11How did you know that?
20:11Are you from the past?
20:13I'm from the future.
20:15Six months from now.
20:17How did you...
20:18Well, Simon's my friend.
20:19Remember?
20:19I mean, he told me why
20:21he wanted money
20:21from you guys,
20:22but I thought he was
20:22a f***ing cook,
20:24but...
20:24God damn.
20:27Please welcome
20:28Asa Gonzalez.
20:46Hello.
20:47How are you doing?
20:48Hi, everyone.
20:49I just want to say
20:49I'm so happy to be here.
20:50This is my favorite show.
20:52Oh, really?
20:52Yes, I love it.
20:53I love it.
20:54It's amazing.
20:56And happy to be your last guest.
20:58Yes, thank you so much.
20:59I appreciate you being here.
21:00I hope you've had a good day.
21:01Had an amazing day.
21:02Oh, I'm glad.
21:03Yes, thank you.
21:04So I have a quick question
21:05because I watched the movie
21:07ahead of time.
21:07Okay.
21:08And usually when you think about
21:10like a mobster in a movie,
21:13you don't always think comedy
21:15and you definitely don't think sci-fi
21:17on top of that.
21:18So what made you choose a film
21:20that has like nine genres to it?
21:23Yeah.
21:25Undecisive, right?
21:26She is undecisive.
21:28No, I really like that Ben David
21:30had an original take on
21:33archetypes of characters, right?
21:34Like we know a gangster
21:35and we see gangster movies,
21:37amazing gangster movies, by the way.
21:39Goodfellas, Goodf...
21:39The Godfather.
21:41But we see sort of like
21:42the bad dudes in there.
21:44And then we see sort of
21:45the femme fatale character.
21:46And here everyone has...
21:49It's sort of...
21:49We introduce them like something
21:51and then it turns it on its head.
21:53And it's a femme fatale,
21:54but she's outrageously fun
21:56and like quirky and strange.
21:58And then, you know,
22:00Mike is a guy who's a killer,
22:01but also smitten
22:02and kind of a dwee.
22:04He's been in love with her.
22:05And it just plays with the comedy
22:07of, you know,
22:08what typically we would think.
22:10And so for an actor,
22:10that is very exciting
22:11because you get to explore
22:13uncharted territory.
22:14And I had never dived into comedy,
22:17which is, I don't know if you guys know,
22:19very hard to do.
22:20Very hard.
22:21Very hard.
22:23And it's nice.
22:24You go from, you know,
22:25one scene starts with something
22:27very dramatic and grounded
22:28and it has to transition
22:29very quickly into comedy.
22:31And that is incredibly challenging.
22:33And so I was really excited
22:36for this new challenge.
22:37And then, I mean,
22:38you're working with Vince Vaughn
22:40and James Marsden.
22:41I mean, it's a dream come true.
22:42That's great.
22:43That's amazing.
22:44I'm happy to hear it,
22:45that it was like so fun
22:47and that it was like fulfilling
22:48along the way.
22:49Because to me,
22:50when you're choosing roles,
22:53you know,
22:53I imagine you've tried
22:54to choose roles
22:55that really let you sort of
22:56stretch out your range
22:57and everything.
22:58Like, was comedy one
23:00that you wanted to take off?
23:01Is there anything else
23:01that you really want to do
23:02that you feel like so far
23:03you haven't done yet?
23:04Oh, absolutely.
23:05I think as an actor,
23:06you're always sort of
23:07striving to grow.
23:09And what I've gathered,
23:10even watching someone
23:11like Vince Vaughn,
23:12for example,
23:12that has all the experience
23:13in the world,
23:14he's sort of set a tone
23:15for comedy.
23:16Watching him on a set
23:18where he's diving
23:18into the unknown,
23:19especially with all
23:20the technological technique,
23:22like technical thing
23:23that we need to do
23:24for the filming of itself,
23:25of having two of him,
23:27you're watching
23:28a well-experienced actor
23:30learn something new
23:31at, you know,
23:32his young age.
23:33And so that I thought,
23:34wow, incredible.
23:35We can still consistently
23:36keep learning in our craft.
23:38And yeah, I love it.
23:40I love it.
23:40I think the biggest compliment
23:42is when someone
23:43doesn't realize
23:43that it's you in a movie.
23:44I think that's
23:45the best compliment
23:46because you want to disappear.
23:47And some jobs
23:48allow you to do that.
23:49Some don't.
23:50And I just want
23:51to experience it all.
23:52Yeah.
23:53Yeah, that's awesome.
23:54Because to me,
23:56I've seen you
23:57in a bunch
23:58of different movies
23:59and I've also had
24:01in my head that
24:01I was like,
24:03oh yeah,
24:03that was you
24:04in Hobbs and Shaw.
24:05That was also you
24:06in Baby Driver.
24:07That was also you
24:08in I Care A Lot.
24:09Yeah.
24:09So I feel like
24:10you're good at
24:11really shifting
24:12whatever the film
24:14calls for, you know?
24:15Because there are
24:16some aspects sometimes
24:17of a movie
24:18where if it's
24:19an action movie,
24:21almost every character
24:22is kind of like
24:23the same type
24:23of action star.
24:25Yeah.
24:25You know?
24:25And sometimes
24:26they play on it
24:27but then there's
24:27other moments
24:28where you're like,
24:29oh, it's kind of cool
24:29that this is the person
24:30that sort of hangs back
24:32and is like,
24:33y'all don't need to fight.
24:36I appreciate you
24:37saying that.
24:37That's an honor.
24:38We all strive for that,
24:39I guess.
24:40It is funny when, you know,
24:42I have friends of mine
24:43that watched I Care A Lot
24:44the entire movie
24:46and they're like,
24:47never saw you.
24:48I'm like,
24:49what do you mean?
24:50Yeah.
24:50What do you mean?
24:52I'm in the whole movie
24:53and they're like,
24:54wait, that's you?
24:55Yeah.
24:55And I'm like,
24:56it just goes to show,
24:58and I'm not thinking,
24:59wow, I disappeared
25:00in the character
25:01and I'm such an artiste.
25:02But, because I'm not.
25:04But, I really am not.
25:05I'm far away from that.
25:07But it is cool
25:08because sometimes
25:10some directors come around
25:11and think of you
25:12for characters
25:13that not necessarily
25:14people would think of you.
25:15Like when they were
25:16casting I Care A Lot
25:17or when they were casting
25:17Mike, Nick, Nick, and Alice,
25:19they, there's not
25:20a specific type of person
25:23written for the character.
25:24It's sort of open-ended.
25:26And when you have a director
25:27that goes,
25:28you, you can do this,
25:29and you yourself,
25:30you're like, can I?
25:31I'm not sure about that.
25:33Really makes you excited
25:34and challenged.
25:35And, I mean,
25:36that's the dream.
25:37We have a dream job.
25:39We are so lucky
25:41to do what we do.
25:43I mean,
25:43I came from a family
25:44that had to work
25:45really hard jobs
25:46in order to pay the bills.
25:47And for me to be able
25:48to cross over to America
25:50from Mexico City,
25:51a full immigrant,
25:53and be able to work
25:54in this country
25:55is an honor
25:55and to be able
25:56to represent my culture
25:57is meaningful
25:58and very important for me.
26:10You bring up
26:11coming from Mexico.
26:12I wanted to ask you
26:13about fame in that way, too,
26:14because you were already famous
26:15coming from Mexico,
26:17and then you've reached
26:18this other type of fame
26:20being famous here.
26:21And it's like,
26:22to be in, like,
26:24the stratosphere of fame
26:25in your home country
26:26and then come to another country
26:28and almost pretty much
26:29start over and everything?
26:31What is that sort of transition like?
26:34Yeah, I mean,
26:35it's interesting.
26:37There's so many answers
26:38to this question,
26:39but, for instance,
26:40I started when I was really young.
26:41I've talked about this briefly,
26:42and it was overnight.
26:44So I experienced
26:45the overnight success,
26:46and that is very daunting
26:47as a child.
26:48You have a lot of obligations,
26:50responsibilities.
26:52People put a lot of, like,
26:54their own children
26:54watching you on TV
26:55responsibility on you
26:56whilst you're trying
26:59to find your own identity.
27:00So that was quite terrifying
27:01for me,
27:02and luckily,
27:03I had really good grounding
27:04around me,
27:05and my family was incredible,
27:06and my mom was not a stage mom,
27:09thank God,
27:09because that could have gone south.
27:11And it was great.
27:14You know, I had...
27:15But it was challenging.
27:16You know,
27:17the first time I ever stood
27:18on a stage,
27:19there was 25,000 people.
27:21The first time ever.
27:23I must have been 14, 13,
27:25and I developed stage fright,
27:27like, straight-up stage fright.
27:29And then I got to do it again
27:31and prove myself if I had it,
27:33you know,
27:34and now I'm an adult,
27:35and I'm in America,
27:36and now it's...
27:37The stakes are higher.
27:38I'm sacrificing having a career
27:40and an established career
27:41in a different country,
27:42and now I'm in a country
27:44where, at the time, too,
27:46when I did the transition
27:47from Mexico to America,
27:49the international value
27:51of a superstar
27:51didn't mean anything.
27:52It was sort of like,
27:53you're starting from scratch,
27:54we don't really see
27:55the value of internationality,
27:57which has completely changed now
27:59and really helped people
28:00to cross over,
28:01but it was like,
28:02can I do this?
28:04English is my second language.
28:05I had to learn really fast
28:07to adapt,
28:08to learn how to audition in English,
28:10to feel in English,
28:11and I had a very different experience.
28:14It was a slow burn, you know.
28:15I started getting small roles
28:16and small things,
28:17and I always tried
28:19to embrace those things
28:21because I was lucky enough
28:22to experience two complete
28:24different styles of career
28:25within a same life,
28:26and no one knows me in America.
28:29It's amazing.
28:30Well, maybe you're ballet
28:31and the kitchen people,
28:32and, you know,
28:33all my Mexicans.
28:35Viva Mexico!
28:36They all know me.
28:38But it's nice.
28:40I do.
28:41I live an anonymous life,
28:42and I appreciate the little things,
28:44which I didn't get as a child,
28:46and so it is daunting sometimes.
28:48I've lived two different lives,
28:49for sure.
28:50That's incredible, though,
28:51and I hope that you can
28:52teach me to audition
28:54in English
28:55because I grew up here,
28:57and, man,
28:58I am bombing these auditions.
28:59Oh, me too!
29:00This is like,
29:01especially the way they say
29:02thank you when you're done,
29:04and you're like,
29:04but what are you...
29:05Can I ask for another...
29:06But like,
29:08so thank you and leave?
29:09Not like thank you
29:10and let's hang out.
29:11Yeah, and we got the job.
29:12Yeah.
29:12And you're just hanging.
29:13You're just, like,
29:14hoping for, like,
29:15a low fruit
29:16that you can grab onto.
29:17Yeah.
29:17But he smiled twice at me,
29:19so maybe I got the job.
29:20You know what?
29:21It's the worst.
29:21He said thank you.
29:23Like, he really hit that you.
29:24Yeah.
29:25Yeah.
29:25Like, you did great.
29:27You did great.
29:28Yeah.
29:28And then your agent calls,
29:29and they're like,
29:30they love you.
29:31But it's not you.
29:31Not enough to put you in it,
29:33but they love you.
29:34That's always the line.
29:35No, no,
29:36they really are a fan of you,
29:37but you're not the right person.
29:39And you're like,
29:39what?
29:40This doesn't add.
29:41No, listen,
29:42you work really hard
29:43to never audition again.
29:45Okay.
29:45That is the aim.
29:46This is the plan.
29:47Yeah, because I think
29:48auditioning is so unfair.
29:49It's not necessarily,
29:51I mean,
29:52with all due respect,
29:53the shit I've had to do.
29:55Yeah.
29:55Like, guys,
29:56you're like,
29:57there's a ghost.
29:58You're scared.
29:59You're really scared.
30:00Now he's eating your arm.
30:01You're like,
30:02I stay,
30:02oh, okay.
30:03You're just trying.
30:05You're like,
30:06okay.
30:06You're scared.
30:07Now you're happy.
30:08You're just like,
30:09okay, I'm happy.
30:10Do I still have the arm?
30:11You're like,
30:11the arm's there?
30:12No, it's gone.
30:13Yeah.
30:13Now you're in the ocean.
30:14Swim.
30:15And you're like,
30:17I get we do make believe,
30:18but it gets to a point
30:20where like,
30:20I will need maybe a cup.
30:22Yeah.
30:22Maybe another person.
30:24If I'm making out
30:25with you in the scene,
30:26maybe,
30:28maybe be a man.
30:29Like,
30:29because this is making me
30:31really excited too,
30:32if I'm reading with a girl.
30:33But like,
30:34what is happening?
30:35Like,
30:35so the whole thing
30:37becomes really like,
30:38you have to envision
30:39so many things
30:40and it's so demanding
30:41for the actor
30:41and it's never
30:42how it's on set.
30:43Never.
30:44Never.
30:44Never the same.
30:46So I just feel like
30:47justice for no more auditioning.
30:49Yeah.
30:50There you go.
30:50Yeah.
30:51Just pick me.
30:52Yeah.
30:52Just pick me.
30:53Yeah.
30:53Thank you so much
30:54for being here.
30:55Thank you so much
30:56for coming.
30:58Aza Gonzalez.
31:02Mike and Nick
31:03and Nick and Alice
31:04premieres March 27th
31:05on Hewlett.
31:06Aza Gonzalez.
31:07We're going to take a quick break
31:08but we'll be right back after this.
31:10I hope you have time.
31:22That's our show for tonight.
31:23Now here it is,
31:24your moment of zen.
31:25Mr. Whitcoff
31:26and J.D.
31:28and Jared
31:29will tell me
31:30whether or not
31:31they think
31:31it's going along
31:32and if it's not going along
31:34maybe not
31:34and we have a lot of time.
31:36You know what?
31:37It's a day.
31:39In Trump time,
31:40a day,
31:41you know what it is?
31:41That's an eternity.
31:44Sorry.
31:45All right.
31:47All right.
31:47All right.
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