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00:00:19In the words of Mariah Carey, she once said,
00:00:21there's a hero that lives inside yourself.
00:00:25And this week, our hero's Kate, honey.
00:00:27Kate is 43.
00:00:29She is a firefighter and a single mom of twins, honey.
00:00:32Yes, we do a firefighter.
00:00:33Oh, I love that.
00:00:34My name is Kate, and I've been a firefighter
00:00:36professionally for almost 18 years.
00:00:39She makes it look easy.
00:00:41To see something that a man normally does,
00:00:44to see a woman in that position, is just crazy badass.
00:00:48I don't brag, but my mom's a hero.
00:00:52When everybody's running out, she's running in.
00:00:54No hero sees themselves as a hero.
00:00:57Mom never thinks that she's a hero.
00:01:11Look how cute this neighborhood is, you guys.
00:01:14The people that swing sets in the garden,
00:01:15gosh, you know it's an American neighborhood.
00:01:18This neighborhood gives me that people are going to be in your business.
00:01:21Classic Americana.
00:01:24Kate's daughters, Bridgie and Lizzie, they're 11 and a half.
00:01:27Oh, my gosh.
00:01:27These little girls almost were like born when we were starting Queer Act.
00:01:31That's terrifying.
00:01:32Oh, we're getting old.
00:01:36They are amazing.
00:01:38I don't deserve them.
00:01:39I grew up here.
00:01:41My parents live maybe 10 houses up the street.
00:01:44I fought really hard after the divorce to buy my ex-husband out to stay here because of the community
00:01:50that we have.
00:01:51The three of us are like the single moms who live in the neighborhood who rely on each other.
00:01:58Oh, Anna.
00:01:59No.
00:01:59I won.
00:02:00I won.
00:02:00Now you already made your card.
00:02:02Now you're out.
00:02:04Her neighbors and friends know she's not only a great mom, but a pillar of the community.
00:02:08But she still sees herself as someone others pity.
00:02:11She's always looking out for other people first.
00:02:15We've all been through difficult moments, and at times it's hard being a single mom.
00:02:21It's difficult for her to say, like, I need some time for myself.
00:02:26The last few years she's had it rough.
00:02:36I feel like I've been broken.
00:02:39The person that I loved and trusted the most broke me.
00:02:44And while I was going through this divorce, the house burned down.
00:02:50Oh, my God.
00:02:51Oh, my God.
00:02:52And so not only were my girls going through a transition because of the divorce,
00:03:00they lost everything.
00:03:02I lost everything.
00:03:05That's sad that the things that she went through has broken her when she's so strong everywhere else.
00:03:10I think she forgot how to live and be herself and be Kate.
00:03:17The girls are at a pivotal age where they're starting to understand themselves and their place in the world,
00:03:22and Kate wants to lead by example.
00:03:23I do want to make sure the girls see me as the kind of fun person I was before I
00:03:29was broken.
00:03:30I know I deserve better.
00:03:34And I want to make sure that the girls know that they deserve the best.
00:03:38I don't know how to do that.
00:03:39It's time for her to move forward and be able to say, you know, here's the new me and forge
00:03:45ahead.
00:03:46She needs to realize that it's okay to accept some help.
00:03:50It would be a beautiful thing if she could learn to accept it.
00:03:53She's stubborn, so...
00:03:54Yeah, that may take a minute.
00:03:56You just got to be patient with her.
00:03:57She has been strugzing to funk, in my words.
00:04:00Kate wants to show her girls that she is a strong Kelly Clarkson song.
00:04:03Yeah.
00:04:03She will not be beaten down by life.
00:04:05Yeah.
00:04:06She will thrive, honey.
00:04:07Hey, it's like a star champion!
00:04:13We're here.
00:04:14Look at the front court.
00:04:15Come on, let's go.
00:04:17Yeah, come on.
00:04:18Okay, are we ready, kids?
00:04:19Yeah.
00:04:21They have a picture of me on the front door.
00:04:23Same dress.
00:04:24I don't know what to do right now.
00:04:26Go.
00:04:26All right, can you come with me?
00:04:27Mm-hmm.
00:04:28Oh, God.
00:04:31Jesus is coming.
00:04:32Look busy.
00:04:33Hi.
00:04:33We're queer.
00:04:35I'm Kate.
00:04:36Hi, Kate!
00:04:38Nice to meet you.
00:04:40How are you?
00:04:41Sweaty.
00:04:42I'm Anthony, nice to meet you.
00:04:43I smell really bad, but I don't know.
00:04:44Oh, it's fine, me too.
00:04:45Nice to meet you.
00:04:46How are you?
00:04:47Oh, thanks for having us.
00:04:49I'm Jeremiah.
00:04:49Hi, nice to meet you.
00:04:50Thank you for coming.
00:04:51Kate's just adorable.
00:04:52I see a soft ginger bun.
00:04:54I see a loving mother.
00:04:56I see a top knot that's begging to be Julia Roberts.
00:04:59Hi, I'm Tad.
00:05:00Nice to meet you.
00:05:01How are you?
00:05:02Which one's which?
00:05:03I'm Bridget.
00:05:04Hi, Bridget.
00:05:04These are the best things I've ever done in my whole life.
00:05:07Oh, I can see that.
00:05:09I'm Jeremiah.
00:05:09Nice to meet you guys.
00:05:10I love your earrings.
00:05:11You guys are just like the cutest cutie-cutes.
00:05:13How are you guys feeling about this?
00:05:15They're so excited.
00:05:17You're not though.
00:05:18No.
00:05:18She's freaking out.
00:05:20And that's okay.
00:05:21This is a lot.
00:05:21We're a lot.
00:05:22You had a tragedy in this house and therefore you've had to rebuild.
00:05:27Yeah.
00:05:28When the house fire happened, I lost everything.
00:05:32Everything I got was free.
00:05:34Everything's from neighbors or from buy nothing or...
00:05:37So this cabinet holds no sentimental value.
00:05:39Just the things it holds have sentimental value.
00:05:42Yeah.
00:05:45Those are the churches.
00:05:46I was supposed to return them a long time ago.
00:05:48The churches?
00:05:49The basketball?
00:05:50Yes.
00:05:50Well, you just got her in trouble, you guys.
00:05:52Well, let me tell you something about this.
00:05:54This you can see.
00:05:55We love one thing about us.
00:05:56We love a prom.
00:05:58You're okay.
00:06:00I'm sorry.
00:06:01Was it me?
00:06:02I'm not...
00:06:02I won't break anything.
00:06:04It's a lot.
00:06:05But I promise you, it's gonna be good.
00:06:07And we'll take good care of you.
00:06:09If anybody gives you attitude, you just tell me.
00:06:11I'm very convincing.
00:06:12If anybody gives me attitude, they're...
00:06:13I don't have to tell anybody.
00:06:15This can be a fun week for you.
00:06:17Hold on one second.
00:06:18I just wanna call Gran.
00:06:19Make sure she's okay.
00:06:20You're...
00:06:21You're okay?
00:06:22Are you feeling okay, Mom?
00:06:23Okay.
00:06:24Have you heard from the doctor at all yet?
00:06:25I'll try and call again.
00:06:27So, is your mom always this stressed out, honey?
00:06:30Um, most of the time.
00:06:31She has a lot going on.
00:06:32Yes.
00:06:33And she, like, has to help take care of my grandmother,
00:06:35so she's taking care of a lot of people,
00:06:37on top of going to work and trying to take care of us.
00:06:39All right, bye.
00:06:40What do you want for your mom this week?
00:06:43She always says we are her whole life.
00:06:45I want her to find something more.
00:06:48I want her to be happy and get more time for herself.
00:06:53And...
00:06:55And...
00:06:55Don't look at her.
00:06:56Look at me.
00:06:57Be happy.
00:06:57And be happy.
00:07:00What is she showing the kids that makes it clear to her kids
00:07:03she's not happy is kind of a red flag.
00:07:06Give us a tour.
00:07:08I was told it's not a bedroom, it's a corner of the attic.
00:07:10Wow, that's setting us up for excitement, isn't it?
00:07:12Yeah, it is.
00:07:16Do you guys, like, watch TV and stuff up here?
00:07:18Or, like, hang out?
00:07:18Yeah, sometimes, yeah.
00:07:19And then this is your bedroom.
00:07:21Yep.
00:07:22This is a cool space.
00:07:23Okay, I got a question for you.
00:07:24Because this is a very, very pointed, clear thing to have up.
00:07:28What message are you sending with this?
00:07:29Well, sometimes I put it in my window.
00:07:31Listen, we all have personalities, but a lot of times...
00:07:33It's also my sense of humor.
00:07:34Got it.
00:07:35I love the painting of the bay.
00:07:36I got this off of Amazon, but it looks so similar to the beach
00:07:40where we hang out.
00:07:41Are you a musician, darling?
00:07:43I can play a little bit of everything, but I'm not good at any of it.
00:07:45This was my uncle's.
00:07:47Uncle Joe was, like, our third parent, and I took care of him.
00:07:49Mm-hmm.
00:07:50Will you play a little bit of guitar?
00:07:51Nope.
00:07:52And then my dad died, so all of a sudden, like, in a few months,
00:07:56we just ended up with all these string instruments.
00:07:59Did your father pass away, and were you guys close?
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02All right.
00:08:03Recently?
00:08:04Just a year ago.
00:08:05Oh, I'm sorry.
00:08:06I'm sorry.
00:08:07I'm so sorry.
00:08:07That birthday is so hard.
00:08:09God, you guys have been through it.
00:08:10Yeah.
00:08:11Every time I feel like my ship is starting to right, something happens.
00:08:16Literally, two years almost to the...
00:08:18Within a few weeks, my uncle passed away, too.
00:08:21Oh, God.
00:08:22It's starting to make sense why you seem quite guarded to lean into joy.
00:08:27Oh, God.
00:08:29Where are all your clothes?
00:08:31Yeah, where is your closet?
00:08:32It's in here.
00:08:33Who is he?
00:08:36That's W.C. Fields.
00:08:37It's one of the sentimental things from my uncle.
00:08:40Oh, my gosh, that is so cute.
00:08:41I just don't understand how a creepy doll is one of the only few things to survive the fire.
00:08:47Like, how?
00:08:49Also, what's more alarming than that doll is the fact that I actually have that suit that it's wearing.
00:08:56And this is, like, where you, like, get dressed and, like, do your glam?
00:09:00Because I see the little glam station.
00:09:01So, I have stuff, but I never use them.
00:09:03If I'm always tomboyish, and then I show up with something even slightly more, it draws more attention than I
00:09:10just don't want.
00:09:11The last thing I got was I bought this.
00:09:13Okay, lovely.
00:09:14And I started to cry, and I left.
00:09:17Why?
00:09:18Because I don't like dressing up, and it makes me really uncomfortable.
00:09:20I just get sweaty.
00:09:21Okay, I get that.
00:09:22That's why I can't wear girl-cut shirts.
00:09:24If materials touch my skin, I start sweating.
00:09:27Like, all my T-shirts are all boy-cut.
00:09:30Clothes are horrible for me.
00:09:32Okay.
00:09:33The hair in your family is, like, next level.
00:09:35I know. It's real good.
00:09:36Yeah, but I can't do anything.
00:09:37If I had money, I'd go get a Brazilian relaxer.
00:09:41Oh.
00:09:41Because of the humidity in this stupid swamp town.
00:09:44I'm going to teach you how to embrace this humidity, and we can embrace those waves, and actually...
00:09:48For 40 years, I haven't.
00:09:50My initial impression of Kate is adorable, but a little bit... turtle.
00:09:56You know, a little bit hard shell.
00:09:58Um, can I see her hair down?
00:09:59I didn't wash it today.
00:10:01Maybe even a little snapping turtle.
00:10:02If you put your fingers too close, she might give you a little heart.
00:10:05This is awful.
00:10:06She might take a little bite.
00:10:07You grow the most when you're uncomfortable, and I do think this is going to be, like, a fun week
00:10:11for you to...
00:10:11Why am I not, like, a fully... the most grown thing ever?
00:10:16But I love a ginger with, like, soft waves, so I know I'm going to work my way into her
00:10:20heart.
00:10:20It's just going to take me a second.
00:10:23I've come to rescue you from these two yahoos.
00:10:25Yeah, it's so hot up here.
00:10:26Honey.
00:10:27How do you want to feel in the house?
00:10:30I don't know.
00:10:32Let's start small.
00:10:33Color.
00:10:34I don't like anything... bold, like...
00:10:37You must love this group.
00:10:41Let's do that thing where we pass the ball to talk, so the person with the ball gets to talk.
00:10:44I only like this sport at school. I hated all of this.
00:10:47I've never liked any of you.
00:10:49I see a lot of other people in your house. I don't see a lot of you in here.
00:10:52Perfect.
00:10:53No, that's kind of the opposite of perfect.
00:10:55You know how cool it's going to be to walk into a house completely redone?
00:10:58Yeah.
00:10:59Come on.
00:11:00I'm trying.
00:11:01It's hot up here.
00:11:02It's going to be amazing.
00:11:03Yes, sir.
00:11:13You just want me to start yelling at you?
00:11:15It's my love language, too, so we can just yell at each other, okay?
00:11:18We should be mean to each other.
00:11:19No, no, no.
00:11:20No, that's my love language.
00:11:21If I'm nice to you, there's a problem.
00:11:23God.
00:11:24I think Kate has survived so much.
00:11:26It's clear that she has shut the entire world out.
00:11:29My hope is that this week we help bring a little bit of light in,
00:11:32that this is the beginning of the ripple that can hopefully help her shift the way she looks at the
00:11:38world.
00:11:39Surviving is one thing, but living is another.
00:11:42Let's go to the kitchen.
00:11:44What do you hate?
00:11:45Onions and mushrooms.
00:11:47Onions?
00:11:48You can't hate onions.
00:11:50They're sweet, they're crunchy, and they can be used in so many different ways.
00:11:54But I love, like, crap, like, I like seafood.
00:11:57We're not really food-centric people.
00:11:59I hear you.
00:11:59We eat because we have to.
00:12:01Right.
00:12:02There is no passion or excitement there.
00:12:04For now.
00:12:06Outside of the girls, what is, like, your access point to Joy?
00:12:11What would it be?
00:12:12Going to the bay.
00:12:13Sitting on the beach with my family.
00:12:14I thought you said going to the bank.
00:12:15I was like, okay, girl.
00:12:17You better stack that coin, okay?
00:12:19What do you do on the bay?
00:12:20What did it tell us?
00:12:20Like, paint the picture.
00:12:21I just sit on the beach.
00:12:22The girls play.
00:12:23And then do you spend a lot of time with the girls, like, doing activities and stuff?
00:12:27I try.
00:12:28I only have them half the time, so, like...
00:12:30Okay.
00:12:31I saw you sigh, which means no.
00:12:33It's hard.
00:12:33I'm not supposed to only have them half the time.
00:12:35Of course.
00:12:40What's it like when they're gone and it's just you?
00:12:50It's okay.
00:12:53Um, with the divorce and the house fire and all that.
00:12:58And my cat died in the house fire.
00:13:00Dying.
00:13:01Come alone.
00:13:02And I've never lived alone.
00:13:05I hope that Kate can experience some ease, some confidence, some safety, some security,
00:13:11and open up her life and her eyes to more possibility and more joy.
00:13:16This is a giant mess because we just got back from the bay and we just plopped everything.
00:13:20Okay.
00:13:20We did not have to make excuses.
00:13:22We love a hybrid room, honey.
00:13:23I love a screened-in porch.
00:13:25Stuff is all just everywhere.
00:13:26This is a cute space.
00:13:27Do you like when people stop by?
00:13:29Most of the time I keep them out front because I haven't gotten around to tidying or finding
00:13:34places to put things.
00:13:35So we need storage.
00:13:37Yeah.
00:13:38I want to give her a little space for people to just drop in and hang out and have a
00:13:42little
00:13:43bit of pride in this home that she works so hard to get not only once but twice.
00:13:48You know how we were talking about your relationship to Joy?
00:13:50What about confidence?
00:13:51Is it your what?
00:13:53Mm-mm.
00:13:54I, I, I, I've imposter syndrome.
00:13:55I, I keep thinking every day I'm going to show up to work and they're going to tell
00:13:58me to get back on the ambulance.
00:13:59Like that.
00:13:59You have to have confidence in providing yourself as a mother.
00:14:01I really just think that the girls being who they are is just, they didn't get it from
00:14:06me.
00:14:07I'm, I'm not very nice.
00:14:08That's them.
00:14:09I'm not very nice.
00:14:10I don't think you're not nice.
00:14:11I think maybe you're just hurting from a lot of stuff.
00:14:15Cause you've gone through a lot.
00:14:17There's a lot of self-deprecation and there's a fine line between using that as a form of sense
00:14:22of humor and when it kind of really cuts deep.
00:14:24And with Kate, I think it's the latter.
00:14:28You told us that you went through two pretty big things, a divorce and, and a fire.
00:14:35I've had some shit, but everything could be a lot worse.
00:14:39Yeah.
00:14:40Do you ever tell yourself everything could be a lot better?
00:14:42I think I have a pretty, okay.
00:14:44Hmm.
00:14:45Okay.
00:14:45Okay.
00:14:47I mean, I don't need anything.
00:14:50You're a human being.
00:14:51So I disagree with that.
00:14:55Do you trust us?
00:14:57I don't know.
00:14:59It's not y'all.
00:15:00I don't trust anybody.
00:15:05Okay.
00:15:06Bye house.
00:15:07Bye house.
00:15:08Bye pop.
00:15:09Bye house.
00:15:10Um, we're about to take your mom.
00:15:13We're borrowing her.
00:15:14Don't leave me.
00:15:17I want you always.
00:15:20You're so sweaty.
00:15:22All the tears are very clearly indicative.
00:15:25And it's not just a divorce.
00:15:26It's not just a hard time with the kids.
00:15:29Internally, she's struggling.
00:15:30We're gonna have the best week ever.
00:15:32Group hug.
00:15:33I want us to get to the bottom of what she is feeling right now.
00:15:37Let's do this.
00:15:38Yay.
00:15:40Woo.
00:15:41Kate.
00:15:42Kate.
00:15:43Kate.
00:15:43Kate.
00:15:48Ooh.
00:15:50What have you got food?
00:15:52What have you got food?
00:15:54Good morning, Tanny.
00:15:55Good morning, Tanny.
00:15:57Who's making coffee?
00:15:58I got you.
00:15:59I got you.
00:16:00I'll tell y'all girls one thing.
00:16:02Girl, y'all better pray, because we got a week cut out for us.
00:16:05I know we do.
00:16:07Yeah, no, she's a tough cookie.
00:16:08Do you think she has willingness, though?
00:16:10I think she's willing to.
00:16:12I think so.
00:16:13I think so.
00:16:14I feel like Kate has just had, like, a lot of bad things happen in rapid succession.
00:16:18I feel like she's in that, like, fight or flight thing where she's just stuck waiting for the other shoe
00:16:21to drop.
00:16:22And so I feel like she needs this opportunity to, like, let go a little bit.
00:16:25So I think my job this week is just trying to convince her that...
00:16:28She has a hot slut.
00:16:29Yeah, she's got nothing to worry about.
00:16:30Sorry, yeah, that's what I was looking for.
00:16:32I better get some cheesecake from the fridge.
00:16:34Ooh, I should help you.
00:16:37Guys, would you like to know what I'm doing this week?
00:16:39Yeah, what are you doing?
00:16:40The only thing that she told me she likes is the bae.
00:16:43So the idea is I'm going to try to bring the bae to her.
00:16:45Relaxing, calm, serene.
00:16:47Aw.
00:16:47Nice.
00:16:48She's definitely set in her ways.
00:16:50I just want to make her happy.
00:16:51She loves the bae.
00:16:51I want to do some kind of, like, a little beachy maritime vibe for her.
00:16:55Ooh.
00:16:56That sounds nice.
00:16:56No, she got a lot of attitude, so I got to figure it out.
00:16:58Because, like, there's a big wall there.
00:17:00So, like, where is the crack in the wall so we can figure out how to help her?
00:17:04So, like...
00:17:04Where's the crack in the wall so we can figure out how to let the light in?
00:17:07Oh!
00:17:09You're a poet eating mango.
00:17:11I've been doing this for a while.
00:17:13It's also Leonard Cohen.
00:17:14It's not me.
00:17:15Sorry, guys.
00:17:32Look at that water.
00:17:33I love the water.
00:17:34I heard the bae.
00:17:36I knew there was water here.
00:17:37I thought you'd like.
00:17:38I mean, this water stinks, but it's still...
00:17:43Water fixes everything.
00:17:44Drinking water, bathing.
00:17:46I agree.
00:17:46Looking at it, listening to it, swimming.
00:17:48I agree.
00:17:48It got me through a lot of the hard stuff.
00:17:52Yesterday, I saw how emotional it got.
00:17:54So, I just wanted to walk somewhere and have a real conversation about what's going on.
00:18:01Kate, one minute, is like, I don't need anything.
00:18:03The next minute, she's, like, falling apart at the drop of a dime.
00:18:05There's a lot of inner turmoil.
00:18:08Something's going on in there.
00:18:10I like those big rocks the kids can jump to and stand in and throw rocks into.
00:18:13Oh, yeah.
00:18:16It's nice.
00:18:20Yesterday, when I talked to you, you were closed off.
00:18:23So...
00:18:24You mean, always.
00:18:25Always.
00:18:26Okay, then.
00:18:27So, we'll go there.
00:18:28Always.
00:18:28Why do you think you're afraid to trust?
00:18:31I don't want to cry more and say it again.
00:18:32Okay.
00:18:33The person that I loved and trusted the most.
00:18:35Your ex.
00:18:36Okay.
00:18:37I don't need any of that anymore.
00:18:39You don't need any of what?
00:18:40I've got my kids.
00:18:41I don't need to be married.
00:18:42I don't need...
00:18:43And I get that.
00:18:44I'm not asking you to get married.
00:18:45Do any of that shit ever again.
00:18:46Okay.
00:18:47I've got the best part of everything already.
00:18:50Do you think you're living your life to the fullest?
00:18:56I think it's pretty good.
00:18:59So, then why do you think we're here?
00:19:02Other people think I'm a shit show and pathetic.
00:19:05No.
00:19:05Pathetic would never be used for you.
00:19:07That is a word I would never use for you.
00:19:09But if other people are seeing something, what do you think it is they're seeing?
00:19:16Kate's gone through it.
00:19:17Maybe she needs something nice.
00:19:21The wall is not serving you.
00:19:23You've got to figure out a way to make sure that this wall comes out.
00:19:25I think I need the wall.
00:19:26How is it not serving me?
00:19:29Because sometimes when we keep a wall up, you forget that as you're keeping yourself in,
00:19:33you're keeping other people out.
00:19:34You're keeping other experiences out.
00:19:37That's okay.
00:19:40I'm happy.
00:19:45In my own weird way that people probably don't believe.
00:19:51I haven't convinced you that though, have I?
00:19:53You have not.
00:19:58Okay.
00:20:03Kate is an interesting person because her strength and her resilience
00:20:09is what makes her really great.
00:20:12But she's also using it to cover up the fact that she doesn't want to be vulnerable.
00:20:17We all, myself included, sometimes need people to come in.
00:20:20And as a firefighter, you know this matter.
00:20:22Sometimes you need to be able to come in and just help you a little bit.
00:20:26But I'm the one who helps.
00:20:27And I'm the one who helps.
00:20:30And sometimes I need help.
00:20:35And I think the sooner you realize that as much as you fill your time with other people helping other
00:20:40people.
00:20:40The sooner you realize is the worst phrase ever.
00:20:43Because that's what your parents always say.
00:20:44Well, the sooner you realize that you need help as well.
00:20:47And that I know that you've been spending a lot of your time with everyone giving, giving, giving.
00:20:51I've watched it.
00:20:52You've been on your phone.
00:20:53You watch.
00:20:54You're like, someone needs this, someone needs that.
00:20:55I'm going to take care of this and take care of that.
00:20:57You're avoiding taking care of yourself.
00:21:02I think I'm happy.
00:21:04I'm not going to debate your happiness.
00:21:06That's something you have to gauge.
00:21:08What I would tell you is that there is still growth to happen.
00:21:14And that's what we are here for is to help you with that growth.
00:21:19Can you do for me some homework?
00:21:23By the time I see you next is to tell me what areas you think you need to grow in.
00:21:28What happens if I don't do my homework?
00:21:31It's your life.
00:21:31I'm going to get an F.
00:21:34Well, that's you already giving up.
00:21:36That's you already giving up.
00:21:39Yeah, sorry I'm too tough for anything profound.
00:21:43This is your life and your experience.
00:21:46Yes, sir.
00:21:48I'm ready to go.
00:21:50So I understand you're uncomfortable here.
00:21:52I'm going to stay here.
00:21:57Bye.
00:21:58I think Kate is scared to acknowledge what I'm asking her for.
00:22:01But I know that inside of you, Kate, is a woman that actually wants to be better.
00:22:06You're just afraid to get there.
00:22:09But I'm going to tell you this.
00:22:12I'm not giving up yet.
00:22:13You think that we've gotten to 10 seasons because we give up?
00:22:17Hell no.
00:22:18Kate got another thing coming.
00:22:27I'll be your superhero.
00:22:32I'll be your superhero.
00:22:38I'll be your superhero.
00:22:43I'll be your superhero.
00:22:44Hey, Jare, Kate's here with Lizzie but she refuses to come in.
00:22:47She's adamant about it.
00:22:49What is she going to do?
00:22:49Sit outside while I forage with her daughter?
00:22:51Yeah.
00:22:52It's not going to work for me.
00:22:53No?
00:22:54No.
00:22:54Where is she?
00:22:55She's outside.
00:22:56Good luck.
00:22:57The only way that I could get Kate to come and participate in this field trip was to allow
00:23:02her to bring her daughter.
00:23:04She shows up and then she didn't want to actually participate in the shoot at all.
00:23:09How am I supposed to go and do that hot-ass thing and be on camera?
00:23:12That's why I'm telling you surprises don't work.
00:23:15I would have told you this would have been a shit show.
00:23:19I'm not really interested.
00:23:21What's going on?
00:23:26Come talk to me for a minute.
00:23:28Come talk to me for a minute.
00:23:31The truth is you have to want to change.
00:23:35You have to want to participate.
00:23:38There's only so much we can do.
00:23:40What's going on?
00:23:42I talk.
00:23:43No Kate, talk to me.
00:23:45I get really carsic.
00:23:45Carsic's one thing.
00:23:46But you and I have-
00:23:47I'm real carsic.
00:23:48I get it, but we need to talk.
00:23:49And I don't go to Virginia ever.
00:23:50Look at me.
00:23:51I feel awful that you guys are doing this.
00:23:53Look at me.
00:23:53You should-
00:23:54You-
00:23:55The only thing you should feel awful about is the way that you're receiving this.
00:24:00She keeps talking about the things that don't matter.
00:24:03I don't know what she's got against Virginia.
00:24:05Before we got here, Kate, was everything great?
00:24:09Were you happy and hunky-dory?
00:24:10I was surviving and I wasn't intentionally-
00:24:13Were you happy and hunky-dory?
00:24:16Was everything great?
00:24:17Were you-
00:24:17I survived?
00:24:18That's not an answer.
00:24:19And by the way, Kate, you're not surviving.
00:24:21You're-
00:24:22You're getting crippled by your grief.
00:24:24You're holding on to all of it so tight that you're trying to control things that don't need to be
00:24:28controlled.
00:24:29I know it's a show, but I have been a part of it for not too long now.
00:24:34But if you really love it, I really think that this could shift things for you.
00:24:38I really think it could have a big impact on you.
00:24:43I'm really sorry.
00:24:44I know.
00:24:46Come here.
00:24:47I know you probably had your hugs too, but I don't care.
00:24:54I will be better.
00:24:55I promise.
00:24:57Okay.
00:24:58So, do you know where we're at?
00:25:00I know that's an anvil, like, from the cartoons.
00:25:02Like, so Thor.
00:25:04So, we're at Lawless Forge, and the idea is today, I thought we could make a mirror.
00:25:08We can design it.
00:25:09We can hand-forge it.
00:25:10So, it'll be like something really special that we do together, um, for the house.
00:25:14I think that sounds like something Lizzie would just super enjoy.
00:25:18And you.
00:25:19Yeah.
00:25:20I love it.
00:25:20Sure.
00:25:21That's right.
00:25:23I like Greek mythology a lot.
00:25:25I love Greek mythology.
00:25:26Really?
00:25:27Yes.
00:25:27One of my favorite gods is Hephaestus, which is the Laxman.
00:25:30We're gonna look it through her eyes and find the joy.
00:25:33The thing that I was excited about with this process with Kate is I was hoping to get her
00:25:37to just let loose, have some fun.
00:25:40This is Tander.
00:25:41Kate.
00:25:42Nice, Kate.
00:25:43Nice to meet you.
00:25:43So, we are gonna make some flowers.
00:25:46Hand-forged by iron.
00:25:48So, look what we're gonna do.
00:25:49Well, we're gonna attach and do a design on the frame of the mirror.
00:25:53It's metal.
00:25:54Your pop would like it.
00:25:55He was a sheet metal worker.
00:25:57No way.
00:25:57Yeah.
00:25:58Almost like somebody's guiding us through this whole thing.
00:26:02All right, Xander.
00:26:03Let's start with safety.
00:26:04Grab yourselves an apron and grab some glasses and gloves.
00:26:09I do heat for a living.
00:26:10I don't wanna do it on my days off.
00:26:12I even brought in Xander.
00:26:14I mean, what else could you ask for?
00:26:17I have a really weird list.
00:26:18What's the...
00:26:19That's not...
00:26:20He's not on it.
00:26:20...on your arousal palette?
00:26:21No.
00:26:22Really?
00:26:22Mm-mm.
00:26:23Am I your type?
00:26:24You can be honest.
00:26:25Maybe.
00:26:27Wow.
00:26:28All right, so I'm gonna show you step number one.
00:26:30Put it in, take it out of there, and I'm just gonna start hammering, putting some texture
00:26:33onto the flowers.
00:26:34It gives it kind of this ripply effect.
00:26:36If you feel like you're not getting enough work done from your swing, pick your hammer up
00:26:40a little bit higher.
00:26:41It's like gravity do some of that work.
00:26:42We're just putting texture on there.
00:26:44It doesn't have to be perfect.
00:26:45We just wanna make it look so it's not like a flat piece of steel.
00:26:47No such thing as perfection.
00:26:49Exactly.
00:26:50Let's do it!
00:26:50Squeeze it hard.
00:26:51Put it down.
00:26:52Down, down, down.
00:26:53Pick that hammer up.
00:26:54Let it swing.
00:26:55Hold it tight.
00:26:56There you go.
00:26:57Now hard.
00:26:57Swing away, Lizzie.
00:26:58There you go.
00:26:59There you go, babe.
00:27:00Get it, girl.
00:27:00That's it.
00:27:01Get it!
00:27:06What do you think?
00:27:07That looks pretty good, actually.
00:27:09I like Kate, and I want Kate to win.
00:27:12I think she's probably the most sensitive, the most vulnerable, and is just really afraid
00:27:19of letting that part of herself out.
00:27:21Now you grab this.
00:27:23I'm gonna have you slide it on the back here.
00:27:25Hey!
00:27:26That's it.
00:27:27We're good to go, Lizzie.
00:27:28It's a power!
00:27:36Hello, my love.
00:27:37Hi, Terry.
00:27:38Oh, no, I know that voice.
00:27:41Wow, what a morning I had.
00:27:43Okay, tell me about it.
00:27:44She didn't want to come this morning at all.
00:27:46Then I pulled her aside, and I had a really tense conversation with her.
00:27:49I've never met somebody who has such a hard time experiencing joy.
00:27:55Yeah.
00:27:56I'm just letting you know she is fired up.
00:27:59She's really frustrated.
00:28:01I'm gonna try and have a lot of fun.
00:28:03So let's see.
00:28:05Hi, Kate.
00:28:07Clothes are really hard for me.
00:28:08I think I already told you, but I'm doing my best, I promise.
00:28:10I'm in it with you.
00:28:11We're gonna be just fine.
00:28:13Kate, she's a tough knot.
00:28:14Ready?
00:28:15No.
00:28:15I know, neither am I, but we're gonna be great.
00:28:18Will she let her walls down enough for me to actually help her?
00:28:22Why do I feel like you're already about to cry?
00:28:24You're gonna be okay?
00:28:26Are the clothes freaking you out?
00:28:27Next question.
00:28:28No.
00:28:30Your face tells me you're freaked out.
00:28:33Yeah, I just don't like clothes.
00:28:35I mean, I like clothes.
00:28:36I don't like to be naked.
00:28:38I just been wearing a uniform for over 30 years.
00:28:45School, jobs, I don't ever, I like not having to think about it.
00:28:49I would like for you to look through what they have here.
00:28:52Anywhere in the store.
00:28:53And just tell me the kind of things that you think are nice.
00:28:57Go wherever you want.
00:28:58You just take a look and I'm just gonna follow you.
00:29:00I might even stand back and you just tell me what you like.
00:29:03Yeah, go, go, go.
00:29:03Wherever you like, my love.
00:29:04Yeah.
00:29:05Not out the door.
00:29:07Don't you even, I'll tackle you to the ground.
00:29:09Yeah, at first.
00:29:11I may look weak, but I can tackle you.
00:29:13That'd be funny, wouldn't it?
00:29:15I know that there are options that will work for her.
00:29:19In this store, I wanna see what she gravitates towards.
00:29:23Start, man, just go, go.
00:29:25And if you hate it, you hate it.
00:29:27These look like my mom's pajamas.
00:29:29Not any of this, ever.
00:29:33This is too heavy.
00:29:35My pits will sweat instantly.
00:29:37This is horrible.
00:29:40I saw a lot of plaid in your closet.
00:29:42Well, those are my dad and my uncles.
00:29:44I just wear them over t-shirts.
00:29:45That's not the same.
00:29:46You wear them.
00:29:47Yeah, because they're big.
00:29:50All right, then I'm going to do the first pick then.
00:29:53Okay, sorry.
00:29:54No, don't be silly, don't bother.
00:29:55And I will try it on.
00:29:56We're gonna try it on.
00:29:56And it'll smell horrible afterwards.
00:29:58That's okay, that's all right.
00:30:00The fact that she's willing to just try one thing on.
00:30:03I'm gonna hand that in to you in just a moment if you'll strip off for me.
00:30:07That's a win.
00:30:08Come on out.
00:30:11Okay.
00:30:14I feel like I've been to see the tent maker in the musical Oklahoma.
00:30:18See?
00:30:18Now, actually I'm really glad you said it.
00:30:20Do you know why you look like that?
00:30:25I could have taken Kate to the largest store on the planet with everything she could possibly need.
00:30:30Cannot suck in enough for this.
00:30:32And she would still find a way to say that nothing works for her.
00:30:36Pretend for a second that there's nothing here.
00:30:39But do you see, do you see what I mean by if your shirt's a little bit higher up and
00:30:45tucked in, you can actually see you've got a body and legs.
00:30:48Don't like it.
00:30:50Just...
00:30:53Nothing's gonna change about it, so I don't know about it.
00:30:57Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:31:01With a belt, do you notice it less because there's so much fabric?
00:31:05It rounds more.
00:31:08Okay.
00:31:10I don't know how to convince her that the concerns she has about her body are only in her head.
00:31:18But I'm determined enough to tackle this with Kate.
00:31:21We're gonna move right on.
00:31:22I'm not concerned.
00:31:23I love this version of you.
00:31:24You're open.
00:31:25Would you go into that fitting room?
00:31:26We're gonna take this off.
00:31:27I'm gonna try one more dress.
00:31:32Come join me.
00:31:38Hold off for a second.
00:31:39I'm gonna change your glasses.
00:31:40Don't worry, you're gonna get these back.
00:31:43It's okay.
00:31:44I know where you work.
00:31:47I look like my uncle.
00:31:51What else have you got?
00:31:52Hit me with everything.
00:31:53My bunion hurts really bad.
00:31:54We'll solve that with different shoes.
00:31:56I feel like my ears are gonna fall off.
00:31:57Okay.
00:31:58And I feel like a Catholic school teacher from 30 years ago.
00:32:04And I look hot in caves.
00:32:07No boobs.
00:32:07Big belly.
00:32:08I can't see the thing that you're referring to.
00:32:11It's because I'm sucking it in.
00:32:12Don't suck in for a second.
00:32:15You're gonna be okay.
00:32:16Hands down.
00:32:17You're gonna be okay.
00:32:18You've got a waist.
00:32:19You've got a waist.
00:32:20You've got boobs.
00:32:21I can see them.
00:32:22I cannot, I swear to God, see anything there.
00:32:25Because it's wide, flat as a pancake.
00:32:27I know you said you're sucking it in.
00:32:29I'm sucking it in.
00:32:29You can't suck in a massive belly.
00:32:32You just can't.
00:32:33I don't know how many times I've had to say this to every woman in my life and everyone
00:32:38that I've met in public who said, can you imagine when you're laying on your deathbed thinking,
00:32:42I was so unhappy because I had this that my babies gave me?
00:32:47You've got your twins.
00:32:48Who cares if you've got proof of it?
00:32:54Bridgie and Lizzie are at such an impressionable age.
00:32:57They are picking up on everything that their mom says but also does.
00:33:02There's so much more I want to talk about.
00:33:04Yeah.
00:33:05I know.
00:33:05Your daughters, they are lovely angels.
00:33:09But I took away one thing from them yesterday.
00:33:12I just want my mom to be happy.
00:33:16I have two boys.
00:33:17My eldest is four.
00:33:18My youngest is two.
00:33:20I know.
00:33:21It's really .
00:33:21I don't want to hug you.
00:33:22I'll take it.
00:33:23It's hard.
00:33:24It's hard, man.
00:33:25It really is.
00:33:26My son, if he said, I just want my dad to be happy.
00:33:30I'd be thinking, gosh, what am I doing that makes it clear I'm not?
00:33:38It is hard doing it all by myself.
00:33:41I didn't plan to be doing it by myself.
00:33:43I know.
00:33:46However, you've managed to raise formidable kids on your own.
00:33:50I think it's pure luck, honestly.
00:33:52No, it's not.
00:33:53I need you to stop that.
00:33:55They are at a tough age right now where they're going to really start to notice what you're doing and
00:34:00how you're feeling.
00:34:01And the last thing you want is for them to end up thinking, I tried my hardest to make my
00:34:05mom happy.
00:34:05That's not their job.
00:34:13I did feel like I was just always treading water.
00:34:16I know.
00:34:17I was working my ass off for the girls and things were going right.
00:34:20So that was all I cared about.
00:34:22But also, what about you?
00:34:23I'm a mom.
00:34:26I understand that.
00:34:28As a parent, you also need to show your kids.
00:34:31I got it.
00:34:32They won't feel safe unless they think you feel safe.
00:34:36I do believe that we planted a seed.
00:34:38I'm hoping at this point that she continues to water that and gets there herself.
00:35:00So you slept like hell.
00:35:01Yeah.
00:35:02Sorry.
00:35:02But you're hydrated.
00:35:04I'm working on it.
00:35:04Yep.
00:35:05Are you apologizing to me for not sleeping well?
00:35:07I'm trying.
00:35:08I am trying.
00:35:09I feel like that's all I've said since day one.
00:35:11I'm trying.
00:35:12All we can do is try.
00:35:13That's what I tell the girls.
00:35:14Yeah.
00:35:15Of course.
00:35:16You're already inspecting.
00:35:18There's no onions in sight.
00:35:20So we're off to a good start.
00:35:22Warm mushrooms.
00:35:24So, yesterday was a big day for you.
00:35:27Yes.
00:35:27I know it was a lot.
00:35:28Yes.
00:35:30Today's going to be a little different.
00:35:31Or at least that's my hope.
00:35:32Okay?
00:35:33I recognize that this whole process is entirely stressful and it's vulnerable and it opens up a whole bunch of
00:35:40stuff.
00:35:41And all I want to do is make this recipe with you because I'm like really excited about it.
00:35:46And I just want to get to know you.
00:35:47That's it.
00:35:48Deal?
00:35:49Yeah.
00:35:49Okay.
00:35:51Food is about getting sustenance on the table.
00:35:54There doesn't seem to be any type of like interest or desire.
00:35:59And so I feel like with Kate it's just trying to really pay attention to the things that make her
00:36:04spark.
00:36:05So your favorite place in the world is the Maryland Bay.
00:36:09Mm-hmm.
00:36:09Because you said you like seafood but you don't like fish.
00:36:12Right.
00:36:12So we're going to make very traditional Maryland crab cakes.
00:36:15Oh, perfect.
00:36:16My grandmother used to make really good crab cakes.
00:36:18Really?
00:36:19Yes.
00:36:20Yes.
00:36:21Thank goodness I'm picking a dish that she actually likes.
00:36:25Because she is a picky eater.
00:36:27So.
00:36:28But we're missing the best part.
00:36:30What's the best part?
00:36:31Picking the crabs.
00:36:32Wait, you actually go pick crabs?
00:36:33Yeah.
00:36:34Put all the newspapers on the table and everybody just sits around eating it.
00:36:37You're so lucky.
00:36:38Full disclosure, I wanted to do a crab boil with you.
00:36:40But I already did that in our Philly season.
00:36:42So I wanted to keep this fresh for the viewers.
00:36:44Damn Philly.
00:36:46Okay.
00:36:46So we have the jumbo lump, which is the fancy stuff.
00:36:49And then we have the special mix.
00:36:51I actually prefer like the sweetness of the knuckle meat.
00:36:54We're going to go ahead and just plop all of it into the bowl.
00:36:57And then we're going to use very little breadcrumbs and we're using sourdough.
00:37:02Oh, okay.
00:37:02Because at least it's a little like more gut health friendly.
00:37:04Yeah.
00:37:04Because we could all use a little bit of that.
00:37:06An egg.
00:37:09Some Dijon.
00:37:10That's going to add a nice little sharpness.
00:37:13And then you know what this is.
00:37:16Oh, yeah.
00:37:17Old Bay.
00:37:18Old Bay French fries are so good.
00:37:20Going to go ahead and put some salt.
00:37:22We don't need too much.
00:37:22The Old Bay is quite salty.
00:37:24And then fresh cracked pepper.
00:37:26Okay.
00:37:28And then a bit of parsley.
00:37:30This is going to add a little bit of brightness to it.
00:37:32And then we're going to go ahead and chop that up.
00:37:37Do you legit know how to cook?
00:37:38I watched a lot of stuff.
00:37:42Growing up doesn't mean I enjoy it.
00:37:45Oh, no.
00:37:46Now my girls are going to see this and I'm going to have to make them crab cakes.
00:37:49Well.
00:37:49I'll show Bridget.
00:37:51And then we can just go ahead and mix it around.
00:37:56Okay.
00:37:57Let's go.
00:37:58Let's go.
00:37:58Don't look at me that way.
00:37:59I'm down.
00:38:00All right.
00:38:00Let's do this.
00:38:02Kate's like the French.
00:38:04Bear with me.
00:38:05I thought that's how everybody did it.
00:38:07I like being schooled by you.
00:38:09You kind of have to like charm them a little bit first.
00:38:14What was that, Sai?
00:38:16This is...
00:38:16I like this.
00:38:17You do?
00:38:18Yeah.
00:38:19But then they open up and warm up to you.
00:38:22Zero notes.
00:38:23Yay.
00:38:26We still have one more step.
00:38:28The melted butter.
00:38:29So we can slather that on and add the old babe.
00:38:31Well, it's going to give that nice brownie.
00:38:32Brown, yeah.
00:38:32Right?
00:38:34There you go.
00:38:36So we go ahead and put that in there.
00:38:40So, yesterday.
00:38:41It was a lot.
00:38:43Yeah.
00:38:43Are there things that you kind of are starting to think about like, oh, like maybe this part
00:38:49is something that I should explore in myself or something that you're realizing that maybe
00:38:54wasn't working?
00:38:55I think with everything going on this week and being busy, I reached out to my brother
00:39:00with stuff going on with my mom and he just did it and took care of it.
00:39:06I should probably do that more.
00:39:12You don't ask for help.
00:39:14I'm the help.
00:39:24It's going to be a lot going forward too.
00:39:27So I have to make sure that people help me.
00:39:29Yeah.
00:39:30You know what we do.
00:39:31And we've been doing this for a really long time.
00:39:33And we have this short little pocket of time and then we're gone.
00:39:36You hold on to the parts that were working for you.
00:39:39Hopefully you're going to get curious and you're going to let go of the stuff that just
00:39:42wasn't working for you so that you can create a better life for you and your adorably talented daughters.
00:39:49I definitely think that Kate has a journey ahead of her in accepting a lot of things about her life
00:39:56and shifting her perspective about things she can't change.
00:40:00I think I'm just such a, if I expect the worst, I'll be pleasantly surprised by the best happening.
00:40:07All we want is what's best for you.
00:40:09This simple thing was like a revelation to her.
00:40:12Can I give you a hug? I'm not a hugger. Can I give you a hug though?
00:40:15We don't hug, I'll tell you, but yeah.
00:40:17You don't hug? Can we awkwardly hug each other? Just a little awkward hug.
00:40:20There you go.
00:40:21That's a good start.
00:40:23Look!
00:40:24Now you just have to be with me every time I have to cook so I enjoy it.
00:40:28I'll come back.
00:40:29I love it here.
00:40:33Gorge.
00:40:34Thank you so much.
00:40:37Oh, I'm excited for this.
00:40:39A little bit of lemon juice.
00:40:45Mmm.
00:40:47Mmm.
00:40:49This is terrible. Nobody else should try it.
00:40:51Oh, it's repulsive, isn't it?
00:40:53Yeah. We'll just have to eat them all.
00:40:56Mmm.
00:40:57So good.
00:40:58Thank you so much.
00:41:00Let's eat more.
00:41:01Okay.
00:41:07I really want to bring the essence of the bae to Kate's home.
00:41:10I want it to feel serene, reflective, relaxing.
00:41:13I want it to be rooted in nature.
00:41:15I want the palette to be happy, warm, comfortable, and safe.
00:41:23Welcome to Salon Day Zen. It's gorgeous.
00:41:26I like the outside already.
00:41:28Get comfortable.
00:41:29Your hair is so pretty.
00:41:30I just think ginger hair is so stunning.
00:41:32This is all your natural color, I can see.
00:41:34I had, um, gold highlights probably 20 years ago, kind of, that I kind of liked.
00:41:38So we could totally go through and do, like, a few little highlights throughout, and then a little bit of
00:41:42a long layer.
00:41:43When I had time and energy, I would relax it, and then I didn't have to worry about all this.
00:41:49Your natural waves will be so easy if you knew how to style them.
00:41:54I've tried it all, I promise you.
00:41:56You saw those, uh, boxes I had of all the product I've gotten.
00:42:01For all of Kate's positive attributes, I would not say that, like, willingness with, like, a capital W is, like,
00:42:07the first one.
00:42:08I love to empower people with, like, the knowledge of, like, how to work with it.
00:42:12Because I don't want you to, like, have something about yourself that you, like, hate for, like, or just really,
00:42:17really don't like forever.
00:42:19It's kind of like that whole adage, I could give you a little chunk of fish right now, but if
00:42:23I teach you how to fish, honey, you'll be eating forever.
00:42:26Do you want something to drink?
00:42:27I might need it later.
00:42:30Do you want to make me wear my hair curly?
00:42:32I'll probably need something.
00:42:34I gotta, like, turn this ship around.
00:42:36I gotta get Kate to, like, have a little bit of fun, honey.
00:42:39And if anyone can get anybody to have some fun, it's me.
00:42:42Because I don't know if you know this about me after all these years, but my middle name is actually
00:42:46Fun.
00:42:46It's Jonathan Fun Van Ness.
00:42:48Me and Kate are gonna have fun.
00:42:52Oh, stay.
00:42:56As long as we don't let this moment go.
00:43:00Thank you so much.
00:43:03Hi, you guys.
00:43:04Mommy's getting her highlights right now.
00:43:06Do you guys want to get little tiny trimmies?
00:43:08Just, like, a little haircut?
00:43:09Yeah?
00:43:10This is Lizzie and Bridgie.
00:43:11Bridgie and Lizzie.
00:43:12I remember her.
00:43:13Thank you so much.
00:43:1450-50.
00:43:14Dang it.
00:43:16Love you, bye.
00:43:17Thanks for bringing in my girls.
00:43:18We are doing just, like, tiny little mushroom cuts.
00:43:21Just like Dorothy Hamill.
00:43:22Yes.
00:43:23Yes.
00:43:23We're all doing natural curl style there.
00:43:25Yes.
00:43:26Yes.
00:43:31Oh, my gosh.
00:43:31Do you want to see what this looks like in here?
00:43:34No.
00:43:35You can't see it yet.
00:43:36It's not done.
00:43:43I did get a surprise for us.
00:43:45If you're down for it.
00:43:46We're going to Botox these armpits, honey.
00:43:48You were telling me earlier that you feel a little self-conchy.
00:43:51A little.
00:43:52So let's go.
00:43:52Okay.
00:43:53Sounds good.
00:43:55Kate has a lot of insecurity around her sweaty armpits.
00:43:58Oh, man.
00:43:58I said I can do it, but I hope I don't chicken out.
00:44:01It really affects her wardrobe and, like, what she'll wear because she'll sweat through
00:44:05everything, which I totally get, queen.
00:44:07Deep breast.
00:44:08Okay.
00:44:08I'm going to feel my finger here.
00:44:10And that tiny little poke.
00:44:11Mm-hmm.
00:44:14You're doing awesome.
00:44:15Have you started?
00:44:16Yeah.
00:44:16Mm-hmm.
00:44:17Isn't that crazy?
00:44:18If you get Botox on your armpits, it can make your armpits not sweat so much.
00:44:21Ah.
00:44:22You're doing really well.
00:44:24Feels like bug bites.
00:44:25Right?
00:44:26You're doing awesome, girl.
00:44:28And then you're not going to sweat the rest of the summer.
00:44:31Done.
00:44:32You did it.
00:44:34Yes.
00:44:35Good job.
00:44:36You did so well.
00:44:38I'm so excited.
00:44:39Yeah.
00:44:40Me too, right?
00:44:44I'm having so much fun.
00:44:46I can't stand it.
00:44:47Me too.
00:44:48I just want to, like, be your guys' identical triplet.
00:44:52These little girls are at such an impressionable age.
00:44:54And they've really never seen their mom, like, love her hair and know how to style their curls.
00:44:59You ever style it like that?
00:45:02Not as much?
00:45:02Do you like it?
00:45:03I hope people still recognize you guys.
00:45:08And while that might not seem like the biggest deal, it actually is a huge deal.
00:45:12Because the way that we love on ourselves and celebrate ourselves and express ourselves,
00:45:17kids totally imitate their parents.
00:45:18And these little girls haven't seen their mom really love on herself.
00:45:22You ready?
00:45:23Hit me.
00:45:24Three, two, one.
00:45:28Here she is.
00:45:29Holy moly.
00:45:32Look at that, girls.
00:45:38I've never seen my hair do this.
00:45:40Now it feels, like, attainable.
00:45:43Honey, it's right now, honey.
00:45:45Look at her.
00:45:47She deserves to feel joy.
00:45:49She deserves to have fun.
00:45:51She deserves to say what it is that she wants and needs.
00:45:54And you think what you want and need actually is a beautiful deal for the girls.
00:45:59You're right.
00:46:00Yeah.
00:46:02Yeah.
00:46:05Thank you for trusting me, honey.
00:46:07I know it wasn't easy.
00:46:09I've been working on it.
00:46:11I know.
00:46:11I feel like this day started with, like, a 20% chance of success.
00:46:15Girls, you want to come look?
00:46:17But actually, we're 100% successful.
00:46:20Mission accomplished, honey.
00:46:21Kate is loving these girls.
00:46:39I have to apologize.
00:46:40I was awful.
00:46:42Listen, I think that's very sweet, the apology.
00:46:46But it's really not necessary.
00:46:47And I mean this wholeheartedly.
00:46:49It is.
00:46:50For me.
00:46:51Well, I appreciate the apology then.
00:46:52Anthony told me that you were having a conversation about some of the things that you feel like you need
00:46:57help or growth with.
00:46:58Yeah, that was part of my homework, right?
00:47:00Yes, it was.
00:47:01I was so happy that you did the homework.
00:47:03So, I need to work on being okay asking and being okay with receiving help.
00:47:10Yeah.
00:47:11Like, a couple months ago, I saw somewhere that abandonment responses, if you don't have to depend on anybody else,
00:47:22then you're the only one letting yourself down.
00:47:25Yes.
00:47:26Yeah.
00:47:28And I've known that and I've been okay with it, but...
00:47:31But are you okay with it now?
00:47:33It's gonna be work.
00:47:34Good.
00:47:35Good.
00:47:35Good.
00:47:36Good.
00:47:36But...
00:47:37I'm always gonna make sure that my girls know that they are the most important, but I'm
00:47:41also gonna start working on making sure that they know that I'm also important.
00:47:46Not to them, but to me.
00:47:48Yes.
00:47:49That makes me so happy to hear.
00:47:51I didn't know.
00:47:52You did your homework.
00:47:55Oh, did I get straight A's?
00:47:56You literally got straight A's!
00:47:58A's across the board.
00:48:00Yes.
00:48:00Yeah.
00:48:04I have always loved the container store for storage.
00:48:07Obsessed.
00:48:08I've waited all this time.
00:48:12This could be the day.
00:48:16I'll grab you the light.
00:48:19Gonna lay it on the light.
00:48:22Gonna lay it on the light.
00:48:25Very excited to see your house.
00:48:26I am so excited to be home and sleep in my own bed.
00:48:29So you guys haven't gotten to see your house yet.
00:48:31I'll be the most exciting surprise queen.
00:48:33Here they are!
00:48:35We're here!
00:48:36Oh my God!
00:48:38Welcome home!
00:48:39My home!
00:48:41Yeah!
00:48:43You know these too.
00:48:44Hi ladies!
00:48:45Oh my God!
00:48:47We're living looking.
00:48:48That's so fun.
00:48:50I mean, I know someone.
00:48:52It looks so good.
00:48:54Well, let's see your house.
00:48:55Please, please.
00:48:56Can I please go to my house?
00:48:57Oh my gosh.
00:48:57Oh.
00:48:58You ready?
00:48:58Yeah.
00:49:01Holy moly.
00:49:02Whose house is this?
00:49:04Not mine.
00:49:04This isn't my house.
00:49:05Oh my God.
00:49:06Oh my God.
00:49:10Oh wow.
00:49:11It looks like it's someone's fancy's house.
00:49:14So nice.
00:49:15Oh my God.
00:49:17Okay.
00:49:18Okay.
00:49:19The inspiration behind this was the bay.
00:49:21So all the palette is pulled from the sea glass.
00:49:24Oh my gosh.
00:49:25It's supposed to kind of just be really relaxing and take you there without having to be there.
00:49:29It is.
00:49:29Even the smell and everything like.
00:49:35Look at all the.
00:49:36Oh wow.
00:49:38This is awesome.
00:49:41This is stunning.
00:49:42I can have people over.
00:49:43And Liz, look at the mirror we made.
00:49:44Did you notice?
00:49:45The mirror.
00:49:46Oh my gosh.
00:49:47How did I not even look at it?
00:49:51This is Lizzie's.
00:49:52You made this?
00:49:53Oh my God.
00:49:55Oh my God.
00:49:55What do you think Pop would think about this?
00:49:57Pop would be amazed.
00:49:59Oh.
00:50:00Should we go see more?
00:50:02There's a lot to see.
00:50:03Your new dining room.
00:50:09Oh my.
00:50:09Look.
00:50:10There's a couch.
00:50:12There's a couch.
00:50:13It's big enough to play cards with everybody too.
00:50:16Yeah.
00:50:16Oh my gosh.
00:50:17The outside.
00:50:18You guys want to see the outside?
00:50:19After you.
00:50:20Oh my gosh.
00:50:27Holy moly.
00:50:28Jeremiah, you have outdone yourself.
00:50:33This is sick.
00:50:34The painted floor is so good.
00:50:36This has got a marine varnish on it, so it's pretty indestructible.
00:50:40Marine.
00:50:40Nice.
00:50:41Now this is really like an actual extra room.
00:50:44You can have breakfast out here, coffee.
00:50:47This is great.
00:50:49You guys want to go upstairs?
00:50:51Look at this.
00:50:54It's a whole other living room.
00:50:56Yeah.
00:50:56This is great.
00:50:57Great.
00:50:57I kept it light here.
00:51:02Oh yeah.
00:51:03This is bright and happy.
00:51:05I love it.
00:51:05Yay.
00:51:08Look at the babies behind you.
00:51:10Oh my wall.
00:51:12Oh, look at this.
00:51:31Oh my God.
00:51:32This is great.
00:51:35I love my upstairs.
00:51:36Oh my God, look at my closet.
00:51:38Wait, before you go in there, because Tenny will yell at me.
00:51:39Come in your bedroom area.
00:51:41Oh, okay.
00:51:41Sorry.
00:51:50Are we all going to fit?
00:51:51There's only one way to find out.
00:51:53Oh.
00:51:55We all fit.
00:51:56Yeah.
00:51:57Oh, we can all snuggle together now.
00:52:00This is amazing.
00:52:07It's water and calming and...
00:52:17Thank you for trusting me.
00:52:23I'm sorry.
00:52:26The one thing I wanted is to just walk in this house and feel some joy.
00:52:30This is beyond joy.
00:52:31So I hope it feels like that.
00:52:32So thank you.
00:52:33Okay, good.
00:52:35Well, I promised I wasn't going to cry, so...
00:52:38No, you didn't.
00:52:38Thanks for nothing.
00:52:40Tenny.
00:52:41Look how tidy it is.
00:52:42I know.
00:52:44You did feel very good.
00:52:45Thanks.
00:52:46I wanted to really take on board what you wanted and leave you with a closet that you really will
00:52:50wear.
00:52:50And so, let's put you in your first look and we're going to surprise them.
00:52:54Okay.
00:52:54Sound good?
00:52:55Yes.
00:52:55Okay.
00:52:56Get out while she gets undressed.
00:52:57What are you doing here?
00:52:58Leave us alone.
00:52:59I'm not that kind of girl.
00:53:01What do you think of our mirror?
00:53:03Really cool.
00:53:03Did you have fun welding?
00:53:05Welding is super fun.
00:53:07I like how I just found that note.
00:53:08You sure did.
00:53:09You made your own.
00:53:11Okay.
00:53:14I do appreciate.
00:53:15I was in the middle of a really hard day and you were great to me.
00:53:17That's okay.
00:53:18And you listened.
00:53:20That's okay.
00:53:21That's okay.
00:53:23Okay, folks.
00:53:24Forget you.
00:53:25Are you two ready to see your mom?
00:53:27Yeah.
00:53:27Three, two, one.
00:53:29Mom, come show us.
00:53:31Oh!
00:53:32Mom!
00:53:33No, you can't.
00:53:34Yes, Mom!
00:53:39You look so good!
00:53:41I like the outfit.
00:53:42I like the outfit.
00:53:43How do you feel?
00:53:45Different.
00:53:48I feel like I'm in a TV show with the house and the clothes and...
00:53:51Oh, wait!
00:53:52You were!
00:53:54I didn't even mean that that way.
00:53:56I meant like a scripted show about fancy people.
00:53:59Jackie, props to you.
00:54:01The hair is gorgeous.
00:54:01Thank you so much.
00:54:02I think without the hair, we couldn't do this.
00:54:05That really helps complete the look.
00:54:09Ready for your next look?
00:54:10Come out, Mama!
00:54:12Yes, yes!
00:54:13Oh!
00:54:16Yes!
00:54:16Yes, Mom!
00:54:17Yes!
00:54:18Yes, Mom!
00:54:19Honey, look at this leg!
00:54:20Ah!
00:54:21Wow!
00:54:22We wanted to do chic but casual chic.
00:54:25It's a denim moment.
00:54:27I like it.
00:54:27I like it.
00:54:28You're feeling yourself a little.
00:54:29Is that fair to say?
00:54:32Yes, you are!
00:54:33Can I tell you what's giving it away?
00:54:35The way you're kicking out your leg is sexier.
00:54:38Yes!
00:54:38You're standing sexier whether you like it or not.
00:54:40Oh, wow.
00:54:42I see you having like more of an expression of joy until you catch yourself and then you're
00:54:46like, don't hold back.
00:54:48Let yourself have fun.
00:54:48Let yourself feel this.
00:54:49When you get to like move forward in your life, I want you to like keep that good relationship
00:54:53with joy.
00:54:53You deserve it.
00:54:55I like that.
00:54:55Should we get this party on the road?
00:54:56Yeah.
00:54:57Give me a hug!
00:54:58If you see your mom stressed, tell her to ask for help, okay?
00:55:02Bye, honey.
00:55:02Thank you so much.
00:55:04Come on, ladies!
00:55:06Lightning!
00:55:08Thank you!
00:55:09Hey, you look amazing.
00:55:11Yes.
00:55:12Yes!
00:55:13See you later!
00:55:14All right.
00:55:15Love you all.
00:55:16It's a lottery.
00:55:18This house looks like rich people.
00:55:28Good night.
00:55:30I know that Kate has said this is for her kids and she fought us every step of the
00:55:35way.
00:55:35But this moment is for the kids.
00:55:40Oh!
00:55:40You put them on?
00:55:41Come on.
00:55:44Oh!
00:55:45Oh, Bridge.
00:55:46I'm sure you love that skirt, don't you?
00:55:49Then mom let her guard down and let us in.
00:55:54Oh, my God!
00:55:56She looks so good!
00:55:57Oh, my God!
00:55:59If I was a lesbian, I'd totally do you.
00:56:01Thank you so much.
00:56:03Ah!
00:56:04Her girls see hope for a better future for their mom.
00:56:07And, in turn, for them.
00:56:10Look at how fancy my house looks.
00:56:13It's too hot, Mom.
00:56:14Hi, Sugar.
00:56:16It's so nice.
00:56:17I know, right?
00:56:20Look!
00:56:21Look!
00:56:22Look!
00:56:26Look!
00:56:30Look!
00:56:32Look!
00:56:32Look!
00:56:33Kata's had a really hard few years.
00:56:35But it's not that she's had a few hard years.
00:56:37It's what's next.
00:56:39When you've gone through such trauma, you make a choice.
00:56:43Do I wallow in this or do I fight my way through it?
00:56:47Hi, Cap.
00:56:48Thank you for coming.
00:56:49Life without trusting people is a lonely life.
00:56:56There are people that love her and want to support her.
00:56:59Thank you for coming.
00:57:00Every once in a while, just put the armor down.
00:57:02But you always really see me.
00:57:05You hold me up together like the moon.
00:57:10I can meet myself with all this.
00:57:13And we're always on the upstream.
00:57:17When we're together with everything.
00:57:20Every hero's change is different.
00:57:22But the fact that Kate admitted she needed help, that's it.
00:57:26I'm not used to this in these shoes.
00:57:29You keep trying.
00:57:30You keep growing.
00:57:31And you keep getting better.
00:57:32It is scary, but I'm here.
00:57:34Does that help?
00:57:35The best gift you can give your children is them to see you happy.
00:57:38This is a lot different from the last time fire trucks were in front of my house.
00:57:42Oh, yeah.
00:57:43I remember that.
00:57:44We've got to live everything.
00:58:00We've got to live everything.
00:58:04You know, I came to make a difference and to help people and to help change lives.
00:58:09And I didn't quite expect how much it would change my life.
00:58:14It's this kind of sharing of experiences and stories and compassion and love and dignity
00:58:24that so beautifully represents the best of people, the best of hope.
00:58:30It's this love letter to you, to the people that watch it, that participate in it.
00:58:37I watch it through my children's eyes.
00:58:39I see them see the world in a bigger, more accepting way.
00:58:43It's just like this thread of humanity.
00:58:50And I'm going to miss it.
00:59:01I'm so thankful that I got to be a part of it in this way at this time.
00:59:06So, thank you.
01:00:09You
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