- 12 hours ago
Bait S01E03-4 (2026) [Full Movie] [Full Episodes]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:10I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me, because it's Eid, so I've
00:14got to stick with family.
00:14Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to do what the shiz long
00:18you created.
00:18Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and routine.
00:22I reckon it will help them visualize me as Bond.
00:25Okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy, other people think you're insane.
00:28This could cost you the role.
00:30Oh, fuck.
00:34Saju, how many of you are doing this?
00:36Mommy, have you met Felicia?
00:37This is the team.
00:38Oh, this is your agent.
00:42Mommy, remember I said to wait in a car and I'm going to get the suite?
00:45No, don't give me the suite.
00:48Felicia.
00:48Zafika.
00:49Farron.
00:50Same as you, just babysitting Bond.
00:52Well, now only auntie's waiting for you.
00:53It's very disgraceful.
00:54Felicia, you're going to get him the job.
00:56Yes.
00:57If he kills me.
00:59Shaji is just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
01:01Okay.
01:01When he was a little boy, he used to say, Mama, I want a license to kill. Remember, Shaji?
01:06Oh, how specific?
01:07I don't remember that.
01:08Yeah.
01:10Oh, look, he's got the mid-time.
01:11I'll just be a minute, okay?
01:12Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:13Bye, I'm so sorry.
01:14You don't know if you're a black lady.
01:20Sorry.
01:21You are a black lady.
01:22I know.
01:26What the fuck is this?
01:27You tell me.
01:34Oh, you know what?
01:35I can't get into this right now.
01:36Okay, listen, none of this, none of this matters, okay?
01:39No one reads the fucking news.
01:40However, this is a big problem.
01:44The person you assaulted, you broke his arm and now he wants an apology.
01:47Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head, but now he's coming for you with 200,000
01:51followers and counting, young and brown, your core fan base.
01:55Assaulted?
01:56This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
01:59It was a kind of straight pain, Shah.
02:01Yeah, you know what I'd say.
02:02I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:04Okay, fine, just give him his apology.
02:05Okay, good.
02:05All right, so how are you going to do?
02:07Oh, no, you have to apologize.
02:09On a video by end of day or he's pressing charges.
02:12Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:14My mom usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:16That's on me.
02:17I can't be dealing with this.
02:18I have to be with the fan today.
02:19I have to make it right.
02:20This is about your career, Shah.
02:22Your credibility in your community for the people that you see are doing all of this for.
02:30Is it your most followers of me?
02:31Shah!
02:33I'm Shah Latif here.
02:35Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
02:37I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
02:40You might have heard about it or seen it.
02:42Well, I lived it.
02:43And I want you to know that in that moment, I wasn't thinking at all.
02:46I was acting out of sheer instinct.
02:50Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
02:54And I would never take it for granted.
02:56And there's nothing more painful to me than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own
03:00community.
03:01And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way, hurts me deeply.
03:06You good, yeah?
03:07Yeah, I'm good, yeah.
03:10So, you've come to visit us lonely villagers.
03:14Oxford educated.
03:15But no sense.
03:17Why did you attack that young man?
03:18Don't listen to him.
03:19Come, let's take a selfie.
03:22And I want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power to make up for it
03:26and to make it right.
03:29Should have won black.
03:31It would go better with the animal witch's gold palace.
03:36Eve is my day.
03:37It belongs to all Muslims.
03:38But me.
03:39It's mine.
03:40And she took it.
03:41You know one thing she doesn't have?
03:43What?
03:44Her son, Salim, you know, golden boy.
03:48I stood to buy a big shot.
03:50Always trying to compete with you.
03:52Bad shot.
03:53Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
03:55Don't talk, Felty.
03:59Orbital?
04:00She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:03Even me can be the stars of the show.
04:05We just...
04:06Come on.
04:08You worried about what Norti Naila thinks?
04:09Nangi Naila.
04:10Nangi Naila.
04:13She always shows skin because she's got no style.
04:16Where is she?
04:17She's probably too busy checking herself out in the mirror to come host her own party.
04:34Samina.
04:35He's Mubarak.
04:36He's Mubarak.
04:38So happy you could come.
04:40So we decided to co-host this year.
04:42This part of you, Kamal, did you, Tahira?
04:44But you know Naila, how do you deal with her?
04:47She doesn't have to deal with her.
04:48She doesn't have to deal with her.
04:49She doesn't have to do the decoration.
04:50She's a penthouse.
04:53The Quran says charity is a blessing.
04:55Please eat it in the garden.
04:57Eid Mubarak.
04:59Eid Mubarak.
05:05Eid Mubarak.
05:08Hello ladies.
05:10Eid Mubarak.
05:11Eid Mubarak.
05:13Where is my wife?
05:14Sit now.
05:16In St. Sink.
05:17Now he has passed.
05:18You are the eldest.
05:19No, thank you.
05:20I'm fine standing.
05:22Baba.
05:22Go you a favor.
05:23Don't tell me, yeah?
05:24Is that how you're going to kill us, Bond?
05:26By raising the blood sugar?
05:29Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
05:31Maybe that's enough.
05:34Maybe, yeah, maybe.
05:35Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
05:36Something with Mehra Khan in it.
05:38No, no.
05:38You are the oldest.
05:39You are the oldest.
05:45Wait, I'm going to have a spot right now.
05:54Shah, good first try, good first try.
05:56But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
06:00First, you forgot to say the words, I'm sorry.
06:02Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:04He's buff, no?
06:05Keith says he's gone mental.
06:07Yes, fucking heart.
06:08Sorry, can you in my focus, please?
06:10This is the latest.
06:12So, this guy likes you.
06:17Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop.
06:20You said community like ten times.
06:22It feels like you're begging it.
06:24Maybe down the brow.
06:26I don't get it.
06:26What is a problem?
06:27That looks tough, man.
06:29I'm 22, mate.
06:30What were you trying to get wiped out?
06:32Get it to me sooner rather than later.
06:34This is not going away.
06:36Hi, everyone.
06:37Shah Latif here.
06:38Now, last night at the King's Museum,
06:40a brother and I came into conflict.
06:43I should not have reacted the way that I did.
06:45And the brother in question perhaps should not have run at me with a metal object the way that he
06:51did.
06:52Ruba is a community-led.
06:55It's not fucking community-led.
06:56The fact is we're all in this together.
06:58And in the future, I promise to use my platform not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:05Ruba is full.
07:07You want some chai or something?
07:10No.
07:11Ruba.
07:11Bro, we good?
07:12I'm good.
07:13Are you good?
07:13Yeah, I'm good, bro.
07:14We good.
07:15I'm good.
07:15Are you good?
07:16Yeah, I'm good.
07:16I'm good then.
07:18Ruba, not Ruba.
07:19What are you doing?
07:19I'm trying to focus, man.
07:20You are distracting me.
07:22All right.
07:23Yes.
07:23They've got them little laddus over there with the pink and green balls on it.
07:26You want them?
07:26Big man, please.
07:27I don't want laddus right now, okay?
07:29I just want to concentrate.
07:30Aren't you supposed to be holding it on his hand?
07:33Oh, yeah.
07:33Shit.
07:34In a bit, yeah?
07:35Don't bring me no laddus.
07:36We'll go forward.
07:37All right.
07:39Leave the baby.
07:40All right.
07:40All right.
07:44Yeah, I know.
07:44It's only gone.
07:45It's only gone.
07:45You came in there?
07:46Where have you been?
07:47I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
07:49Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
07:51So if I just die standing here alone...
07:54Please.
07:54Please don't do this now.
07:55You left me.
07:56I'm sorry.
07:57I'm making up.
07:58Merah, Selim!
07:58Mera Selim
07:59Selim...
08:04Selim!
08:08Selim!
08:09Selim!
08:13Selim!
08:15Selim!
08:37Look at him, the dancing monkey, doing his mother's dirty bidding, making Russian prostitutes
08:45spreading it. Look. No, he's not, mommy. That was a joke that I just made. Oh, look at that fresh
08:51spray. Zulfi, weakest of us all. Don't leave. Shahjuh, she's coming. Don't leave.
08:58Shahbeta, can I borrow your mommy for a minute? I need my co-host in the kitchen. Okay, we're just
09:03going to... Okay, okay. No, no, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
09:09Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay? It's the retention of the customer base after that discount
09:14period, you know? It's off the charts.
09:16People want more community-driven ride share options. Yes, Salim. Yes. What are you saying, bro? Yes. Look at this
09:21guy. You good? Yeah. Come, join us, man. Join us.
09:24I've always been doing that anyway. Yeah, I've got you some logos, bro. Thank you. Thank you. So I never
09:28got your number.
09:29How you been? I've been good, bro. Yeah? You've been breaking shit. What do you mean by that?
09:35Glass ceilings. Thank you. Try it, man. Try it. And I got his arm.
09:40It's just a fracture. Hey, just to bring this back to what we were talking about before you got here.
09:44Yeah. You know, our number of drivers are growing. By the day, we'll be in all key five bars by
09:49June, so...
09:49Muba! Sick idea, innit? I've been there from day one, I remember. Bro, I'm so proud of this guy.
09:54Gus Smith is so proud. And you know what's amazing? He's always been an entrepreneur.
09:57If anything, he just went from selling grams to Instagram.
10:04Just out of interest, what was your credit situation with the criminal record and everything?
10:08No problems whatsoever. No issues. And just for clarity, I didn't go inside for selling mall.
10:14It's not. It's just five-bit of island disorder.
10:15It was. It was self-defense, to be honest with you.
10:17It was really before, in a way. He's a ride or die, and he was there for me.
10:19Any credit issues, though?
10:20No credit issues, because I'm going all in with everything that I've got, right?
10:24So if you need any credit, if you need financing, just talk to me.
10:27Sorry, just, I was on the impression we were coming in seed round rather than source series A.
10:32You see this conversation here? This is, in fact, the closest he's been to the business.
10:37Right? In fact, obviously, it's too close.
10:40Okay, give me back my dildos, then.
10:44Even for me personally, the most important quality by Muba is, in fact, the quality of the relationships.
10:51We're not just there for them when we want, because that's bullshit. That's fake.
10:56Get the fuck off me, bro.
10:58I don't know.
11:01And anyway, I've always had a passion for customer service. It's my thing.
11:04That's one thing I picked up in Dubai. That's what we do best, hospitality. That's our culture.
11:08One might say, like, the Muslim way of doing business.
11:11I love the idea. I'm going to present it to the guys, see what they say.
11:14Well, you're taking this. You're trying to get investment from Dubai.
11:20Yeah, okay. Yeah.
11:22You good?
11:23No, I'm just saying, you know, Dubai works for people with, you know, all like, with the, but, I mean,
11:28what the fuck's this guy going to do in Dubai, man?
11:30He ain't going to let you in, bro. You don't want to go there, man. I'm all in, yeah? Remember
11:33that.
11:37He was disrespectful. He referred to your quiff like that. There was no need. It looks good.
11:42Shah, got your second apology. Yeah, that's not going to work. First of all, what was up with that background?
11:48If you post that, you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich asshole. Also, you forgot to
11:52say sorry again.
11:54Father, first class, interzaam kiya, Naila.
11:58Sano se tum si yushi ka.
12:00Next year, he does back at yours, no?
12:01No, absolutely, yes. Very kind of you to step in this year, Naila.
12:05Tahira, don't worry about it.
12:08Everything is fine at home, right?
12:11Why?
12:13No, nothing.
12:14Just because I was watching Raju today and I thought, I worry for him, for all of you. It's so
12:22much pressure.
12:23That's very kind of you to worry.
12:25I see a bit of your sister in here.
12:35Does Shah Jahan have someone you can talk to?
12:38He has me.
12:39Rukhaya had you too.
12:40But she needed more help, no?
12:43And she doesn't know anything.
12:45She doesn't know anything.
12:46Naila, please.
12:48It's all good.
12:49My son is going to be the next James Bond.
12:51We all couldn't be more proud.
12:54It's okay to talk about these struggles now.
12:59Really?
13:03It's all good.
13:05It's first class.
13:06Don't you have anything.
13:17Bye.
13:19Bye.
13:21Bye.
13:22I don't know.
13:59Shah, we need that apology.
14:01We're running out of time.
14:02I've literally written it out for you.
14:04Just find a quiet, neutral room.
14:06Record it and send it back now before it's too fucking late.
14:09Okay?
14:32Am I interrupting something?
14:35Yeah.
14:36A conversation.
14:39Can you fucking close the door, please?
14:42Is this like you two...
14:44I like her.
14:45Texting.
14:46Wow.
14:46So how long has this been going on?
14:48Six months.
14:49Three months?
14:50Okay, so this is nothing.
14:51Can we please not do this in front of Shah?
14:53I'm sure.
14:54I'm not going to tell anyone.
14:54Come here.
14:55Can we not do this in front of Shah?
14:56I came here for you.
14:58But I never asked you to, did I?
14:59But I asked me to.
15:00I never...
15:00Calm down.
15:01I never fucking asked you to.
15:02And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
15:05This is the whole problem.
15:05So just to clarify, you didn't come in to see Zulfield in for the thing?
15:07No.
15:08Yes.
15:08Does he know, by the way?
15:09Oh, for fuck's sake.
15:11He's going to find out now, isn't he?
15:12I'm not going to say anything.
15:13I've got your back.
15:14I've got your back.
15:15Look, we don't have to tell anyone.
15:17Let's just be real about what this is, because this is something, right?
15:20Me and you both know it.
15:21What does that even mean, bro?
15:24You live a million miles away, okay?
15:26You have a whole life.
15:28You have fucking house keys, car keys, so many keys, okay?
15:32I have one key.
15:33I can give you keys.
15:34I don't want your keys, okay?
15:35I want mine.
15:36Yo, can I just step in here for a minute, offer maybe a different perspective from my own more mature
15:40experience, yeah?
15:41I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
15:44All right?
15:45All right.
15:45Now, let's say, let's say you've been texting.
15:48There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand.
15:52All right?
15:53Yeah?
15:53You can relate, right?
15:54You send a message, a heartfelt one.
15:57Instead of it going green, it goes gray.
16:00What does that mean to you?
16:02It means you're blocked.
16:05Fuck off, really?
16:06Yeah.
16:07Let me just show you this.
16:08Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
16:09Can I show you this quickly?
16:10No, no, no.
16:11Oi?
16:12Don't say anything to anyone.
16:13I'm chill.
16:15Salim, yeah.
16:19He's not fucking sure.
16:27With Saigon, who will lead the prayer?
16:29Pasha?
16:31Okay.
16:31Well, he recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
16:35I will lead.
16:36Seated?
16:36I won't be seated.
16:37Who is by?
16:38Think about it.
16:38Let someone else lead.
16:40Listen, you ass-wipes.
16:42I can run circles around you idiots.
16:44I will lead.
16:51By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond, an icon of the white establishment,
16:56Shah Latif is exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction.
17:00And so he joins a long line of brown men who think that by becoming our oppressor,
17:04he's somehow liberating all of us.
17:05And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic to look more white.
17:18Come on.
17:20Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
17:22La ilaha illa Allah.
17:25Allahu Akbar.
17:30Hey, Shah Latif here.
17:32I was involved in an incident last night at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate
17:36and avoidable.
17:37And I'm deeply sorry.
17:39Hey, hey, hey, hey, you fucking thing.
17:41Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim.
17:45Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
17:46Shah Latif here.
17:48Last night at the King's Museum, I fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object.
17:53And apparently I'm the one who has to apologize.
17:54Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah,
18:00Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah,
18:03Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah,
18:03Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah,
18:03Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah,
18:07Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah
18:40Oh, yeah, is this Sid?
18:41Oh, yeah.
18:43Hi.
18:43Hi, this is Shah Latif.
18:45Is it?
18:47Actually.
18:48Yeah, it is actually.
18:49But I just want to say.
18:51I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.
18:56No excuses.
18:57I was banging out of order.
19:01I just don't know what came over me.
19:02I really hope you can find it in your heart to please forgive me.
19:08Yo, I appreciate this, man.
19:11I really do.
19:12I was going to call my lawyers, but then the fact you called, man.
19:16Oh, bro, he's been eating me up the whole day.
19:18I can't tell you how much this means, man.
19:20Legit.
19:23Well...
19:24Do you mind just sending me what you just said?
19:26Like in a recording?
19:29Sorry?
19:30I need the engagement, bro.
19:32Right.
19:33I mean, I guess so.
19:35Nice, Ryan.
19:36Appreciate it.
19:37All right.
19:37Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate.
19:39Just remember, keep the bid under 90 for the algorithm here.
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:44How will it be?
19:45All right.
19:45Safe.
19:46Okay.
19:58What is?
19:59What is?
19:59What is?
20:05What happened?
20:06You fell.
20:07Move.
20:08I was been praying on a chair already.
20:09You want to sit down?
20:11Come on.
20:12How's your breathing, okay?
20:14You okay?
20:15Huh?
20:15Why didn't you sit him down?
20:16Well, now you want to be involved.
20:17What the fuck's that supposed to be?
20:18I'm doing something inside.
20:19You're for yourself.
20:19Don't come at me.
20:20You always fucking want to be the hero, and you're never around.
20:22All right.
20:23All right.
20:27I'm going to get a blanket or something.
20:32What?
20:33Are you good, bro?
20:34Bro, are you good?
20:36Are you dumb?
20:37He's a fucking diabetic, and you're giving him boxes of sweets.
20:40Shabbat, better.
20:41All right, all right, all right.
20:42Should I just fuck off again, yeah?
20:43You better when I'm not around.
20:44That's what you're saying.
20:45No, no, he's not my dad.
20:45He's your dad.
20:46Shut you.
20:47Huh?
20:47Shut you.
20:48You know what?
20:48You think you're a fucking bad man.
20:50Oh.
20:51Fucking, yeah, my people is my bad.
20:52How the fuck are you going to help your people if you're too busy sucking white people's
20:55dicks?
20:55No, no, no.
20:57It's okay with me.
20:57He's just crying about it last night, bro.
20:59What?
20:59You came in to take me.
21:00You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
21:01I saw you giving out your little business cards.
21:02That's some sweaty old minicap driver.
21:04Shut up.
21:04Blow it.
21:04Blow it, bro.
21:05Just come on.
21:05He's a leech, man.
21:06He's been leeching off me my whole life.
21:08Why are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
21:09Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas.
21:11He's trying to chirp his little sister.
21:13What?
21:13Only cherting.
21:14I love her.
21:15All right.
21:15What the fuck, man?
21:16Are you fucking, are you mad?
21:18Listen, don't listen to him.
21:19He's lost the fucking blood.
21:20He's been chatting to a pig's head in the freezer.
21:21What?
21:22What freezer?
21:22In the garage and he's been talking to a pig's head.
21:25What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:27Better listener than any of you lot.
21:28That's what happens when you're related to you guys.
21:30I'm not the first family member to lose my mind.
21:31Hey, enough.
21:34Hello, Shadju.
21:37Why are you saying it to me?
21:39No, no.
21:39I'm asking him.
21:40Why is he saying that to me?
21:41What did I do?
21:41What did I do?
21:42I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
21:43I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
21:45Will you lot judge me?
21:46Huh?
21:47Why are you fucking touching me?
21:48Don't touch me.
21:49Shh.
21:49I'm trying to change the world.
21:50All right?
21:51So anyone doesn't look at you and think you're some fucking worthless, slinky, bitter,
21:55baggy.
21:56Look at me.
21:56Get the fuck out of here, boss.
21:58I'm not the problem, am I?
21:59She blames you for what happened to your mom, bro.
22:00Shut up.
22:16Get the fuck out of here.
22:46One biryani.
22:49Purple doll.
22:50Great.
22:51And some none.
22:52Ah, thank you.
22:53Enjoy your meal. Let us know if you would like anything else.
22:55Can I have some more water?
22:56Yeah, sure.
23:09Oh, my God, Yasmin.
23:12What the fuck?
23:14What are you doing here?
23:15Oh, what are you doing here?
23:18Oh, yeah, you come here every year on Eid, don't you?
23:21I totally forgot.
23:23You forgot?
23:24Yeah, yeah, I'm just here. I'm just picking up some food.
23:27Right. What a coincidence.
23:30Actually, um, do you mind if I...
23:35What's happening?
23:37I just told you, you just didn't pick up some food.
23:39On the other side of London, at 9.30.
23:41On Eid?
23:43Yeah.
23:44Don't eat that.
23:45Why not?
23:46You won't like it.
23:47I think I know what I like.
23:48It's chicken, not lamb.
23:51Why would you get the chicken?
23:53Trying new things. Is that okay?
23:55No. It'd be weird, because the lamb's a signature.
23:57Okay, so you're here because of the article. Can we stop pretending?
24:01I'm sorry, what article?
24:03Are you being serious right now?
24:05I'm sorry if I missed your... What is it? An article? That sounds fun. Tell me about it.
24:09You were doubling down on this.
24:10Right.
24:12Dude, you know how it's like. I've got busy. You're busy. Well, I'm sure you're not fixated on every little
24:16thing that I'm doing, right?
24:17This is a strong take. I've got to hand it to you.
24:19I don't know what you mean. It sounds like you think I'm like killing myself to be something that I'm
24:23not.
24:24And you memorised it. That's sad.
24:27Who's that? Oh, you're sad. I'm not sad. I've been having a great time. I've been swapping out political art
24:31for vanilla destruction.
24:33Can you stop quoting my article, please? And it's not even about you, actually.
24:37Oh, it's not about me. Full disclosure, Charlotte Tiff and I know one another and have spent time together socially?
24:43Is that how you're going to describe our relationship?
24:46That's how you describe the relationship, right?
24:47And you calm down. These people are not your audience. You're ruining their dinner and mine.
24:51This is revenge porn, man. This is revenge porn dressed up as an identity politics and pop culture think piece.
24:56Is it revenge porn if you're fucking yourself over?
24:59Yeah. Actually, it is. That's a sub-genre of revenge porn.
25:02Yeah, it is. It doesn't matter what kind of porn it is.
25:03Delete that now.
25:06Delete that or I'll break your fucking nose with it.
25:08Yeah, it's good.
25:08And the deleted pics folder. What, do you think? I'm fucking thick.
25:11Isn't that what you want? And that's not a private language here, you idiot.
25:16Dude, can you just delete it? I wanted a selfie. You can talk to me. I'm very approachable.
25:19Okay, yeah, thank you. Dude, enjoy your milkshake. Thank you. Yeah, show's over.
25:23What are you doing? Are you kidding me?
25:24Enjoy your little fan, man.
25:25Come on, man. Let's take it. Have you been paid? Is she paid?
25:28Yes, I paid.
25:28Well, and I'm the dramatic one.
25:30Okay, look. Look, time out, please. I just want to talk.
25:32Excuse me.
25:32After all this time, you must go.
25:33I'm sorry about that.
25:34Can we just have a chat?
25:35It's not right, man.
25:37It's not right.
25:38No.
25:39I'm here.
25:39I don't want to take something, man.
25:42Fucking hell.
25:43Did you see that?
25:44Is there a back door?
25:47Where's the back door?
25:47I think they're here for me, right?
25:48Anyone?
25:50Fine, thanks. I'll find it myself.
25:52Wait.
25:53Wait, go.
25:55Sorry.
25:56Go away.
25:58Sarah, Sarah, exit.
26:00Hey, go away. Go away.
26:01Do not allow. Do not allow the police.
26:04All right.
26:06Sorry.
26:06What are you doing?
26:07Do not worry.
26:08No, do not be here.
26:12I'm not trying to be there.
26:14I'm on my way out.
26:15I'm on my way out.
26:18Let me go down.
26:20Stop.
26:21I didn't...
26:22Char, just stop.
26:24Okay.
26:24Okay, sorry.
26:25I would have made that all wrong.
26:27I just wanted to see you.
26:28The last bit wasn't my fault.
26:30Come on, now.
26:31That was crazy.
26:33You're crazy.
26:34Me?
26:35Come on, you knocked three people out just by staring at me.
26:38If you ever need a job, I could do with security.
26:42If you think that was fine, you have some serious issues.
26:45Better than a little book club for wine.
26:47What kind of eath is that, huh?
26:48How about your eath?
26:49What?
26:49Crossing London to stalk your ex.
26:50You need help.
26:52You know what?
26:52I do.
26:53And you did help me.
26:54And I'm grateful because it shows that you care.
26:56I do care.
26:57Well, it's all beautiful, they do.
27:00You know what?
27:00Yeah.
27:01Yeah, I'll buy a rose.
27:03I should be thanking you, right?
27:05No, please.
27:06What?
27:07How much are rose?
27:08Five for you.
27:09Okay, that's a bit steep.
27:10I'll do $2.50 for her.
27:11You're embarrassing yourself.
27:11Oh, that's not the first time I would have done that for you, though, is it?
27:16I don't need a rose from you.
27:17You don't need anything from anyone.
27:18No, just not from you.
27:19Actually, my life's pretty great.
27:21Okay, if it's great, lend me five pounds.
27:22Now, buy you a rose and I'm going to stop and scratch.
27:25Five pounds is expensive.
27:28Hmm?
27:29You know, if you knew me at all, you know, I hate roses.
27:33I remember that.
27:34I just...
27:34You've got to love the gesture, huh?
27:37You love the gesture.
27:38Guys, guys, why don't you come in for the best curry on bread?
27:40Brick Lane.
27:4020% off for the lovely couple, eh?
27:42We're not a couple.
27:43But we used to be.
27:43You met my family.
27:45Yeah, I did, actually.
27:46And you know what?
27:48He made me wear a jacket over my sleeveless dress the first time when I met his dad.
27:51Well, not in a fun-to way.
27:52Just my dad's a bit of a, like, little pervy uncle, mate.
27:54Listen, she was making out like I would have locked her in a cupboard if we carried on dating.
27:58Yeah?
27:59She put all her cultural and family issues on me just because I'm proud.
28:01That's racist, isn't it?
28:02Isn't it more racist to be killing yourself to play a white, neo-colonial MI6 agent?
28:06But if I played him, he wouldn't be white, would he?
28:08Yeah, but you would be.
28:09Guys, I've got an idea.
28:10Why don't you go to my cousin's restaurant across the road?
28:12I think that's better for you.
28:13Don't you want to hear about how he brought a date to my friends and family screening?
28:16A date?
28:18That was not a date.
28:19She was a work colleague that I brought.
28:21She was shit in your mango tree flop.
28:23Guessing it wasn't enough to snort her on screen.
28:24Good for the career to be spotted out and about with her.
28:26God forbid anything comes from all that.
28:29Okay.
28:29Hadn't you broken up by then?
28:30Sure.
28:31That night was about me.
28:32Okay?
28:33And also, taking a break isn't the same as breaking up.
28:35Okay.
28:36Then how exactly would you define how we...
28:38Fucking cunt.
28:38Fuck.
28:39What?
28:40I left my bag at the restaurant.
28:42Okay.
28:42Do you have to go back there now?
28:44I have my passport in it and I'm leaving tomorrow.
28:46What are you doing?
28:46Fuck.
28:46Argentina.
28:47What?
28:48Why are you going to Argentina?
28:49Wait.
28:51Someone's taken it.
28:53But my airports are moving.
28:54Fuck.
28:54Oh, shit.
28:55You're going to catch up.
28:56Fuck.
28:56You need a cab, mate.
28:57Oh, wait.
28:59Taxi.
29:00I need to get it back.
29:02That's gone.
29:02Listen.
29:03Can you just...
29:04Just let me help.
29:05Just trust me for once.
29:08I don't know.
29:09Come on.
29:10Come on.
29:11Come on.
29:12Come on.
29:13Come on.
29:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:14Seriously?
29:15Hey, mate.
29:16Listen.
29:16Can you give us a lift?
29:17Yeah.
29:18Okay.
29:18Yeah?
29:19How fast is this going?
29:20Not that fast.
29:22Faster than walking, though, innit?
29:23Well, yeah.
29:23It's a bike.
29:26If you annoy me, I will ditch you.
29:28Understood?
29:28You always say that, but you're still here.
29:29Yeah, well, I'm leaving the country tomorrow, aren't I?
29:32Hey, this is an emergency.
29:33Can you follow this door?
29:35Yeah.
29:36All right, auntie.
29:37I've got you.
29:37Auntie?
29:37You're definitely going to get a tip.
29:39All right, listen.
29:40It's going to be fine.
29:41What's the number you see now?
29:43Funding came through for my doc.
29:44The shipwreck one?
29:45Mm-hmm.
29:46Cool.
29:47Come on.
29:49How are you, man?
29:51I don't mean that the patronizing thing.
29:52Well, it was a little bit patronizing.
29:54No, seriously.
29:54I wish there were more no clinkies about shipwrecks.
30:07Your dad is more, um, her than Fondo.
30:12I appreciate you saying that.
30:14He would have killed to have me in your family.
30:17I would have liked to kill him.
30:18I'd have to keep pulling him to one side like that.
30:20What the fuck are you doing?
30:21Chill out, baby.
30:25How is he?
30:27He's not good.
30:28Nah, he's not, um, yeah, he's not good.
30:38I think my whole family hates me.
30:41They probably do.
30:49Activate Phil, activate Phil.
30:52That's wild.
30:53Shut up.
30:57That is, come on, that's crazy.
31:00Of all the tunes.
31:01That's wild.
31:06Me, can you turn it up?
31:09Better, turn it up for your auntie.
31:11I'll get an auntie when I'm raving.
31:13I can make it all clearer.
31:18Don't reach it.
31:28Is it here?
31:30Somewhere around there.
31:32Maybe it's in the diner over there.
31:33In there?
31:34No.
31:37Thanks.
31:38Yeah.
31:3910% off your next ride.
31:40Leaving tomorrow.
31:41Well, when you get back then?
31:42Not coming back.
31:43What do you mean, not coming back?
31:44Doesn't matter.
31:46What do you mean by that?
31:47Kat, Manny, Charlie?
31:48No, man.
31:50Nice one.
31:53What do you mean you're not coming back?
31:54No.
31:56It's here.
31:59Okay.
31:59Okay?
32:00Um, yeah.
32:02I think, is that down there on the left?
32:04Yeah.
32:04Hurry up.
32:04It takes weeks to get a new passport.
32:06Don't worry.
32:06We're going to get it.
32:07Wait, I think it is.
32:09It's like behind.
32:10It's this one here.
32:16Hi.
32:17Hi.
32:19Welcome to the glow up.
32:2025 head.
32:21Oh, I'd like to pay.
32:23Yes.
32:23But I don't know my wallet or phone.
32:26How's this become an expensive date for me?
32:32And here are your body bags.
32:36Down the corridor on the right.
32:38Okay.
32:39All right.
32:39Okay.
32:39So what are we going to perform exactly?
32:41Uh, it's a bum bag.
32:42Okay.
32:43What kind of bum bag?
32:44Just a bag.
32:45Right.
32:46Neon.
32:47Pink and yellow.
32:48Wait, is this the one that I got you?
32:50Yeah.
32:51Oh.
32:52All right.
32:52Relax.
32:53What?
32:53We shouldn't be too hard to find, right?
32:55It's convenient.
32:56It's a useful size bag.
33:01Sharp.
33:06Might be a bit tricky.
33:08Oh, shit.
33:10I'm never going to find my bag in here.
33:12Whoa.
33:13Aren't you forgetting something?
33:15So what?
33:16Check your goodie bag, mate.
33:17Can't let you on the dance floor like that.
33:21Oh, with that paint.
33:23All right.
33:24Um.
33:25Fuck it.
33:27Um.
33:27I'm not really.
33:28I'm shit at this kind of.
33:29Sit down.
33:29I'll do it.
33:33Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
33:34Be nice.
33:36Be nice.
33:37When am I not nice?
33:40As much as you want to, um, humiliate me.
33:44Remember whose passport will you support me.
33:47The artist, please?
33:50Sorry.
33:53Or look into her soul.
33:59Why'd you get rid of the nose ring?
34:02Um, I don't know.
34:03You look so much fitter with that nose ring, man.
34:06What?
34:06Fuck you.
34:07What?
34:07I'm just saying, take the attention away from that cold, dead look in your eyes.
34:11Probably around the same time as you, um, started losing half your hair.
34:14You know, um, fitting hair is linked to high levels of testosterone.
34:17I know you, bro.
34:18So if you need some money for a hair transplant, it's okay, you just let me know.
34:22No, I'm fine.
34:22You know, I just take all my self-loathing and I rub it on my scalp every day.
34:25So thanks for chopping me up on self-loathing.
34:27Next time I see you, you're going to have shaved your head and you're going to tell me it's
34:30for a roll.
34:32Or because I'm going to have a really secret sad illness.
34:34And you're going to be so upset about what time you're just spending and now that I'm
34:37dead.
34:38Yeah?
34:38Yeah.
34:39Death guilty.
34:39Yeah.
34:40That's a straight up auntie move.
34:41It is.
34:42Sorry, did I treat you?
34:44Sorry, does that turn you on?
34:45I know.
34:46I'll be right back.
35:08Turn it up.
35:10Yeah.
35:12Let me check in.
35:17Yeah.
35:19Yeah.
35:35Hey.
35:37Hey.
35:38Hey.
35:38Hey.
35:39Hey.
35:40Hey.
35:49you having fun yeah I'm actually I'm having fun let me be looking for a bag yeah I'm looking as
35:56well all right I'm always looking sorry you're not a bad either in the end not the worst
36:08what are you looking at me for I don't have it
36:21line
36:31gotta go to the bathroom yeah
36:59you don't have the bones to be wrong are you fucking mad
37:08first I remember to lose my mind
37:17oh
37:31oh
37:34oh
37:42oh
37:44oh
37:46oh
37:46oh
37:46oh
37:47oh
37:47oh
37:48oh
37:49oh
37:49oh
37:49oh
37:49oh
37:51oh
37:51oh
37:51oh
37:51oh
37:54oh
37:54oh
37:54oh
37:54oh
37:55oh
37:55oh
37:55oh
37:55oh
37:55oh
38:02oh
38:02oh
38:06oh
38:06oh
38:06oh
38:06oh
38:08Hey.
38:13Do I find it?
38:23I just want to say, what you're doing, you're halfway across the world, on your own.
38:29It's amazing.
38:30You're fearless.
38:31I've always admired that about you.
38:33Thanks.
38:39So, where are you going to live?
38:41A flat or something?
38:42Yeah, I found a place near the offices.
38:44Okay.
38:45Great.
38:45Yeah.
38:47Is it like a good neighborhood?
38:49I'm just saying a woman out there on her own.
38:52I can take care of myself.
38:53I know, I know, I know that your Spanish is kind of shit, so you're going to need someone
38:56to...
38:56What are you doing?
38:58What am I doing?
39:00I'm looking for your passports and I'm having a little bit of a race.
39:03What?
39:05Found the bag, didn't you?
39:08No.
39:11What?
39:11Yeah, you did, you psycho.
39:14What are you talking about?
39:15You just said passports with a fucking S. Where are they?
39:18Where are they?
39:19Fine, fine, fine.
39:22Oliver Winthrop?
39:24Fucking Winthrop, man.
39:25And I'm the one trying to be white.
39:27Now then, leave me the bag.
39:28Fuck off!
39:46Hey.
39:48Hey.
39:49Hey.
39:49Hey, why did you lie to me?
39:50I didn't fucking lie to you.
39:51You didn't tell me you got a boyfriend.
39:52Why do you think I'm here?
39:54You're the one that lied about the passports.
39:56Okay.
39:57Alright, then I'll be honest now.
39:58I'm not here for your fucking article, okay?
40:00I'm here, I'm here for you.
40:01Look, I'm here for you.
40:03Because I miss you.
40:05I miss us.
40:07Okay?
40:10I'll admit that.
40:12Now, can you admit, if it's really all done between us, it's a little bit weird that you didn't
40:17want to tell me about your boyfriend of, well, how long?
40:19A year?
40:20That you're moving to another country tomorrow?
40:23Yeah.
40:23I mean, there's something.
40:24I've got cold feet.
40:26This is a fucking big decision.
40:28Okay, so you've got cold feet.
40:29Yeah, okay.
40:30But I didn't want to see him on my last night in London.
40:33Am I out here running around with you?
40:35Why is that?
40:36Hmm?
40:37But he's fucking great.
40:38He's really great and he loves me.
40:40And he's reliable and he's there for me.
40:43So, I don't know.
40:45I don't know.
40:56Do you want to know what it's like?
40:57Hmm.
41:00Doing the dirty work.
41:04Fighting everybody and being a nobody.
41:09I...
41:11I don't live with myself.
41:13I live with whoever they need me to be.
41:20And if I don't know who I am, it's because I feel like maybe you don't want to know.
41:28Are you acting?
41:31No.
41:32It's like...
41:33Lines.
41:34They are lines, but the feeling is honest.
41:40You're insane.
41:49Please don't go.
41:50I keep that cold.
41:56I'm in doubt.
41:56Bye...
41:56Take care.
41:57Okay?
41:58Okay.
42:28Okay.
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