00:01Girlfriend, you look fabulous, it's good, I mean other girls should have stayed at home
00:06because they are no match for us, one of us, open the ropes, open the ropes, who's going
00:11to be Miss W, all right ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Nassau County Coliseum, and
00:18tonight, New York and the world, the first ever WCW Bikini Competition, our judges by
00:29the way, very familiar to you folks here, our members of Howard Stern's WACPAC, we talked
00:37to them earlier on, I'm certain they're going to have a keen eye and the girls look to be
00:42Pamela Paulshock, like they're ready to roll, they look stunning, you know it's chilly out
00:47here, but the girls are going to heat things up, I saw them in the back room, all right
00:51with that, here they come, first of all, the members of the WACPAC, Crackhead Bob,
00:59followed by Fred the Elephant Man, High Pitch Derrick, Elephant Boy Idiot, Close
01:07it up, and Beetlejuice, once again Beetlejuice, what happened to Hank, we're missing one of
01:17them, what great MC is that Trampon or Sugar Daddy, here we go, Hank the Angry Dwarf, by the
01:26way, JollyDwarf.com is our website, and I think he probably is, JollyDwarf.com.
01:31in the backstage area, you know Hank may be out there, G-Man missed him, hiding behind
01:38Beetlejuice, there's Hank, here comes Hank, what is in that bottle, come on Hank, Hank, makes
01:51sense of time with Tiger, boy Tiger looks spectacular, doesn't she? Hank's head is at the right level
01:56for this contest, okay now.
01:57All right, with our judges in place tonight, let me introduce to you the contestants, ladies
02:03and gentlemen, you know her as one of the exciting Nitro Girls, Korea's loss is our gain, please
02:12welcome the lovely and attractive Shay, she is both of those.
02:20Shut up and let her take it off Hudson, let's stop it, get Hank in the ring.
02:26Hank can barely find the ring.
02:28Crackhead Bob letting her in, or is that Hank, he's letting in, helping Hank in, okay.
02:33Come on.
02:34Here's a beautiful woman behind Crackhead Bob and he looks for Hank.
02:37His shoes on Ty, but I don't think that's gonna make a whole lot of difference.
02:40We're not looking at the shoes, you're right.
02:42Oh, come on Hank, wait, whoa, today while we're young.
02:48The next young lady hails from Philadelphia, she spends time with the 76ers, break my heart,
02:56give it up for the lovely and talented, Chiquita.
03:01I like Jay so far, Jay's your winner right now, hold it, let's look at Chiquita here.
03:06Chiquita, one of the Nitro Girls.
03:08Up next, the lady that won the title of Miss Galaxy.
03:12You know her very well, she's spending time these days with the franchise, Shane Douglas,
03:18the lovely and torrid Tori Wilson.
03:23Whoa, there's your winner, right there is your winner, there is your winner.
03:28Oh, the silver and black attack.
03:30Everyone's been your winner, man, holy smokes.
03:33Steaming up my glasses.
03:34My love is like a tire iron right now.
03:36Next up, a young lady that is spending her time these days with the filthy animals.
03:40Here's our girl.
03:41She has a patented finish move that is known as a face full of stuff.
03:47A face full of stuff, here's your winner right here.
03:49Gentlemen, please welcome Tigress.
03:53Let's see an eye full of stuff, baby.
03:55Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, what is this?
03:57She has just called about our next contestant, Paisley.
04:01These two, by the way, won the natural division early in the day.
04:06Oh my.
04:07Oh, no silicone there, but a lot of stuff.
04:09Oh my lord.
04:13They're your winners, they're your winners.
04:16Make up your mind.
04:18Next up.
04:19Oh, wait a minute, hang on a minute.
04:20A young lady that is known as the mistress of domination.
04:25And taking a look at these faces out here, I think she could dominate all of us.
04:30Please, ladies and gentlemen, welcome Leia Miao.
04:35Oh my lord, she love you long time, Joe.
04:39Look at her.
04:42Would you like to say hello to my wife back home?
04:46You know, she's danced before, I can tell.
04:48Gives a new meaning to the word, whip it up.
04:52It does?
04:53Finally.
04:54Yeah, yeah.
04:54A lady that at one time was with the Misfits in action.
04:58And now, perhaps against her will, is part of Team Canada.
05:03She is Major League all the way.
05:05She is Major Guns.
05:09No, seriously, I mean it right here.
05:11Here's your winner, the Canadian Mountain Range Major Guns.
05:14That's your winner.
05:15Oh, wait a minute.
05:16Oh, she's playing with the judges here.
05:19Judges, I know this is going to be a winner.
05:20I heard she's not going to win another decision.
05:23Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
05:25Oh, tell me, he's not in the contest.
05:27I don't know, Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
05:29Hey, hey, I like Hacker, let's get that.
05:30Wait, that's a red, white, blue bikini.
05:33What's that, what's she doing?
05:34She's not an American anymore.
05:36Yes, she's always been an American.
05:38Make her take that off right now.
05:40Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
05:41What is the meaning of this, this competition?
05:44Hold it right now, Gene.
05:46I thought he was going to take his shirt off, please.
05:49Canada!
05:50Shut your mouth!
05:53Major Guns, front and center.
05:57I'll say.
05:57Front and center.
05:58What do you think you're doing out here,
06:01disgracing our country, Canada?
06:04I don't want to be a Canadian.
06:06I don't want to hear it showing your body in front of all these degenerates.
06:11Uh-oh.
06:12Well, we're not going to have it.
06:14Cover.
06:15I am American made and I am going to stay in my restaurant room.
06:18I said shut your mouth, Lynn.
06:22Yeah, easy, Hacksaw, please.
06:25Wow.
06:25Hacksaw's gone nuts.
06:27Cover up and get back to the dressing room.
06:29We've got something for you to do.
06:31I'm gonna chase him the competition.
06:33You don't want to hear, Oakland.
06:34She's got something to do.
06:35I think she had a good chance.
06:38Come on, Duggan.
06:39What a killjoy.
06:40He's coming up with a Canadian flag.
06:42She was gonna win, too.
06:44I could feel it, so to speak.
06:46You know what, though?
06:46She's not American made.
06:47She's silicone.
06:49It's really not.
06:50She had a great chance in this.
06:52Major Guns.
06:54Well, she's taking the flag off.
06:58The wrong one.
06:59Wait, she should take off the American stuff.
07:01Get naked and put the flag on.
07:03How's that sign?
07:04Tony, Scott, and Mark, we're gonna proceed.
07:07Please, go ahead and see.
07:08With acting services on one of our contestants' major guns.
07:12So she now could not win, right?
07:13What a disappointment, Crackhead Bob.
07:15What's going on with that?
07:16Is it that?
07:17I wish I had an answer for you.
07:19What'd he say?
07:19Hank, you got it together.
07:22We need to take a look here at what's going on,
07:25and the five of you are gonna have to cast your vote
07:28for the winner of the contest.
07:30The Wack Pack judges the Wack Pack.
07:32It's kind of a warm, warm night here in New York.
07:35You know, speaking of warm, we're getting really hot, too, Jane.
07:38But these girls look absolutely amazing.
07:41They do look absolutely amazing.
07:43I wonder who they're gonna pick.
07:45Who are they gonna pick?
07:46The Beetlejuice there is sitting back.
07:48You're gonna have to vote here pretty quick.
07:49Are you ready?
07:50Very ready.
07:52What'd he say?
07:52That's what I thought.
07:53I know.
07:53It is getting a little warm.
07:55Okay.
07:56We've got Leia Meow, Paisley, Tigress.
08:00Whoa!
08:00That's right!
08:01Oh, my!
08:02Whoa!
08:04I didn't realize you were in the contest.
08:06I'm not, Jane.
08:07You're not in the contest?
08:09No.
08:09I'm just really hot.
08:11You're not kidding.
08:12She is.
08:12Well, gentlemen, I don't know.
08:15Somebody hose Jean off.
08:16Here we go.
08:16You're gonna have to vote.
08:18Do we have Fred?
08:20She's the winner.
08:21Whoa, whoa.
08:22She's not in the contest.
08:23What do you think?
08:27She's the winner!
08:28Wow.
08:29What do you think, Hank?
08:30My dad.
08:31Well, she's not even in the contest, Pamela.
08:34Apparently, you're the winner.
08:35It's a mutiny.
08:36Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry.
08:38Like it or not, we lost one and we gained one.
08:41Here is your brand new WCW Bikini Champion, Pamela.
08:47She doesn't even enter the thing.
08:49She doesn't even enter the thing.
08:49Look at that glorious thing.
08:51Hey!
08:53Wait a minute.
08:53Uh-oh.
08:54A little proactive action.
08:55Teach her the meaning of the word discipline, Leia.
08:59Hey.
09:00Leia.
09:01Leia.
09:01Leather on cleavage.
09:02I've died and gone to heaven.
09:04And all the girls standing by, they don't mind it.
09:08They're right.
09:09What went down.
09:10I'm gonna hit it.
09:11That's Madejia.
09:12Madejia.
09:13Madejia has come out and she's come to the aid of Pamela.
09:18What on earth?
09:23Whoa!
09:25The silicone sisters are busting each other up.
09:28This is unbelievable.
09:29Madejia.
09:31Who had come to the aid of Pamela and now gets kicked from behind by Leia.
09:36Yes, yes, straddle her and beat her.
09:39Straddle her and beat her.
09:40Can't fight.
09:40Can't fight.
09:41Somebody else can't fight.
09:42Can't fight.
09:43Can't fight.
09:43You just did.
09:45Good night, get in there.
09:46They're gonna do some serious damage to each other.
09:48Madejia and Leia.
09:49And now the Rucker leads out to try to pull off Madejia.
09:52I'm gonna go break this up.
09:54You, you guys just take it.
09:55Well, how about Pamela Project?
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