- 18 hours ago
Bait S01E05-6 (2026)
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:12I'm not afraid to die today, I could've chose somebody else to love
00:23Give me the gun, I'll take the blame and cover up your darker shade of blood
00:35I'll feel the rain and turn the pain into gold
00:42I'll feel the rain and turn the pain into gold
01:00Mommy Baba?
01:06Q
01:14A
01:14A
01:14A
01:14A
01:14A
01:14A
01:14A
01:14A
01:14A
01:14My name is Mr. Mohs.
01:16My name is Mr. Mohs.
01:16I'm not sure.
01:16My name is Mr. Mohs.
01:20My name is Mr. Mohs.
02:02You can tell me if he's here or not. You can't keep him. You can't keep him unless you charge
02:07him. Have you charged him? I need to know if he's here. I've been sat there for over
02:12an hour now. Listen, someone is going to come and talk to me in a minute, so we need to
02:15go
02:15take a seat. Okay, I'll give you ten minutes, and then I'm taking your name and number.
02:22Hi, I'd like to...
02:30Yeah, I'd like to report on missing family.
02:33All families have gone missing, have they?
02:35Yes, I think they've been kidnapped by terrorists.
02:40What? Domestic ones.
02:42The white ones.
02:46Q-U-R-R-A-T-hyphen-U-L-hyphen-A-I-N.
02:54Two hyphens, okay.
02:55Yeah, that's what she goes by, Q.
02:57Okay, I want to go back to the bust-up that you said you had with your family.
03:02Well, that's not really that relevant, because what I'm saying is if you just hack into this,
03:07this was set up in the living room, so whatever's taken place will definitely have been recorded
03:11on this, so if we can just get into that.
03:13So that's a very different kind of investigation.
03:16It's a much longer process.
03:17It's a cyber crime, really, and this falls under missing persons, so all we're trying
03:20to do is just help you find...
03:22Why didn't you report the pig's head when you first got it?
03:24Sorry, but it's just the details.
03:26Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
03:28That was...
03:30That's different.
03:31I'm reporting this crime now.
03:32Alleged crime.
03:34I'm sorry, maybe I'm being a bit paranoid.
03:36Am I like a suspect or something like that in this case?
03:39Well, easy now.
03:40You know, no one said anything about a suspect.
03:42We just need to ask questions in order to conduct a proper investigation, so that's why
03:46I'm asking, why didn't you report the pig's head?
03:50I thought I could handle it myself, with my private security consultant.
03:54You've got a security consultant?
03:56Because I'm an actor, and I'm in the news.
03:57Sorry, you're in the news?
03:59Yeah, I might be the next James Bond.
04:03Wait, wait, wait, wait.
04:04So you're saying that you're actually, like, a famous actor?
04:07I didn't say famous, no.
04:08I just said, well, actually, yes, my Bond callback is later on this afternoon, but I can't be
04:13there if I'm here, and I'm here because my family's not there.
04:15So I'm just making sure we've got private security detail, auditioning to be the next
04:20James Bond, and got sent the severed pig's head by racist trolls.
04:26I did, because they don't want me to be the next James Bond.
04:28Right, which is why these people have also abducted your family.
04:33That's my current working theory here.
04:35You sound completely fucking mental.
04:42Okay, mate, give us a few minutes, and we'll be right back.
04:51You've got to be kidding me.
04:55What in the shitting hell are you doing, man?
04:59If you keep your mouth shut, then maybe I can focus.
05:02Focus on this, you sentient ballbag.
05:05You should be at home preparing for the audition.
05:07Shut up.
05:08Ouch.
05:08And you most certainly should not be here.
05:11You're not the hero of this story to them.
05:14You're the villain.
05:15Trust me.
05:16They're going to Google me.
05:17And when they do, they're going to see all the Bond chat, and they're going to see that
05:19I'm telling the truth.
05:20And then they can tell the papers how you showed up here with the severed pig's head.
05:25Think, you turgid gimp.
05:27Think.
05:28Think.
05:30Fuck.
05:33Okay, baby.
05:34Thanks, Paul.
05:36No.
05:37Christian, do you want to see this?
05:39He's for this.
05:40Yeah.
05:41He's for this.
05:46Sorry.
05:47What the?
05:47Be cool, man.
05:49Police are going to be watching.
05:51I don't know.
05:51I'm just looking for my family.
05:52That's not a crime, is it?
05:53Hey, calm the fuck down.
05:55I saved you back there.
05:56All right.
05:57Okay, I'm sorry.
05:58And thank you.
05:59That's more like it.
06:00All you've got to do is walk normally.
06:04Very weird walk, man.
06:05All right.
06:06Very weird.
06:07Be normal.
06:08All right, this is normal.
06:21Oh, whoops-a-daisy.
06:23Gently, cockfingers.
06:25Okay, lock the doors, close the curtains.
06:28Let's run lines.
06:29Auditions in eight hours.
06:31Wait.
06:32Where are you going?
06:34I need to find the right USB.
06:35The only camera that matters is at the screen test.
06:40Sha, time's running out.
06:42Say the words with me.
06:46Do you want to know what it's like doing the dirty work?
06:50Fighting everyone and being no one.
06:54I don't live with myself.
06:57I'm going to...
06:57Oh, come on.
06:58Hello.
06:59I'm giving you gold here.
07:02Fucking gas.
07:03That's right, motherfucker.
07:06This is all a distraction.
07:09Classic self-sabotage.
07:11Ah, shit.
07:12Come on.
07:17Fuck.
07:18You're not afraid for your family.
07:20You're afraid of success.
07:23Even if they have been kidnapped,
07:25you're no superhero spy.
07:28Becoming one should be our focus.
07:31Why don't you try helping for a change?
07:33I am helping.
07:35The only version of you that has any value to your family or anyone else is Bond.
07:41Shut the fuck up.
07:42Oh, God.
07:45Selfies as basic as they come.
07:47Try his birthday, obviously.
07:50Oh.
07:51Heh.
07:56You don't even know his birthday?
07:58Some brother you are.
08:00Okay, we don't know.
08:02Can we get back to work?
08:06The security consultant?
08:09Oh, yeah.
08:10If you were this obsessive about your craft, you'd have a career.
08:25This is a security restaurant.
08:27If you see something that doesn't look right, speak to Star or text British Transport
08:44This is a waste of time.
08:46Oh, shit.
08:48What?
08:49We've got a problem with dogs.
08:50Oh dear, I'm dry-aged, you realize.
08:53Turn around now.
08:54Can't turn around.
08:55They spotted us at least suspicious.
08:57You're a sweaty brown man with a blood-stained duffel bag.
09:00You're already fucking suspicious.
09:03Let me just shit out, okay?
09:04Just have some faith.
09:06I'm an actor, aren't I?
09:07Oh, God.
09:10Excuse me, sir.
09:13I'm not doing anything.
09:14I'm not even here to catch a train.
09:17Oh, God.
09:19No, no, I'm going to get back.
09:21Do you mind if it's a tickle?
09:22In the bug?
09:22Down, boy.
09:24What's in the bug, sir?
09:26Stop it, you fucker.
09:27Sir, that won't be necessary.
09:34Yep.
09:37You say something?
09:38Good man.
09:39Have a good day.
09:43How'd you do that?
09:44Well, I've still got a few tricks on my sleeve when it comes to law enforcement.
09:48Must be nice to be tall and white, huh?
09:51Membership has its privileges, shall we?
09:55It's a complete fucking mess.
09:56I tried to go to the police.
09:57Well, there's your first mistake there.
09:58Come on, man.
09:59We're going to find your family.
10:00All right?
10:01Okay.
10:02Okay.
10:02It feels good to hear you say that.
10:04Because nobody believes me.
10:05I like him.
10:06He makes me feel safe.
10:08Well, I've got a call out.
10:09It was on it called the Kilner system.
10:10All right?
10:10Now, luckily, Wembley is CCTV to the hilt.
10:13So if your family have been on any street, actually, in London in the last eight hours,
10:17I will be able to track their exact location down to the inch.
10:20And as soon as I get a ping, you'll be the first to know.
10:23Really?
10:23Yeah, man.
10:24All good.
10:25That's fucking amazing.
10:27I didn't realize your company had that kind of reach.
10:30My company has the biggest reach there is.
10:33All right?
10:33Don't worry.
10:33Look, listen.
10:34Here's the thing, right?
10:34Your family, that's today's problem.
10:36Yeah?
10:37What about tomorrow's problem?
10:38Now, do you want to be reactive or do you want to be proactive?
10:42I want to be proactive.
10:43Of course you fucking do.
10:44You are on the precipice of something massive.
10:46And all that backlash that you've been experiencing recently, it will only get worse.
10:50Trust me, I know.
10:51I've fucked the audition, and my prospects have gone down the toilet.
10:55So...
10:56Listen, I wouldn't be here talking to you now if that was the case.
11:00Would I?
11:02So you've got your recall later.
11:04Correct?
11:06Yeah.
11:06Yeah.
11:07So you're going to go in there, you're going to do your audition,
11:10and when you do, those decision makers will be primed in your favor.
11:19What?
11:20You understand?
11:20How, how, how, how...
11:22How are you going to do that?
11:29Are you on my five?
11:32It's okay.
11:34Holy fuck.
11:35Okay.
11:35It's not a big deal.
11:36It's not a big deal.
11:37Okay, listen to me.
11:39I'm the only call you'll ever need to make.
11:42We've got your bang.
11:47What?
11:48There's a catch, isn't there?
11:49No.
11:51I mean, look, every relationship's a two-way street, isn't it?
11:55So, basically, what we're trying to do is we just want to build bridges to your community,
12:02and in order to do that, we rely on individuals such as yourself just to help us with messaging,
12:07you know, as a prominent Muslim, and soon to be more so your voice.
12:11It carries a lot of weight, so let's use it.
12:15Yeah?
12:17Right.
12:18Sha, let's cyber now.
12:21Just remember we're the good guys.
12:23Yeah?
12:23Don't forget that.
12:25Sha!
12:36I mean, that sounds shady as shit, no?
12:39Sha, I was wrong.
12:40Going to Nigel was a masterstroke, albeit an accidental one.
12:45What are you talking about?
12:46He wants me to be a snitch.
12:48Snitch?
12:48He's not asking you to honey trap an ayatollah, is he?
12:51He's offering you the role of a lifetime in exchange for some light PR work.
12:56I'm not a sell-out fed, sorry.
12:58Sell-out?
12:59Well, pardon me, Nelson-pissing Mandela.
13:02You want to star in a franchise that brazenly sells watchers, cars, and the British Secret Service.
13:09This is the only way you will land this role.
13:13I guess I just always thought I was someone who represents us to them.
13:18You know, not within to us.
13:21You're not representing them or us.
13:24This is about you, Sha, and who you want to be.
13:28And put simply, do you want to be talking to a pig's head in a toilet, panicking about your career
13:33and your family,
13:34or do you want to be the hero of this story?
13:37The ultimate shitting hero.
13:39Because that, my friend, is what is on the table.
13:56Sha?
13:59Sha, what the hell are you doing, man?
14:03Hello?
14:04I'm improvising.
14:05Oh, God.
14:07Access.
14:11Access.
14:12Access.
14:12Access.
14:13Access.
14:37Move forward!
14:45Watch out!
15:06Okay, okay. What in Satan's gossip did you just do? We were this close?
15:13Answer me!
15:15Hello?
15:16Oh, God, more improv. No one's watching you, malodorous pissflap!
15:21What's your problem, man?
15:22My problem is that I care about you, Shah. I want to make you better.
15:27No, it's just because you say that you're trying to help me, but all you do is shit on you?
15:29It's tough, love, and it's the only voice you understand.
15:33If I humiliate you, it's to save you from the bigger humiliation of remaining as you are!
15:38You want to chill out? I'm in control now. And I know where we're going.
15:47No, no, no! Please, don't fake hang up on me! You need me!
16:16Fine, I'm willing to try things your way. But if we want to be Bond, why are we at time?
16:22I'm in the Taliban HQ. These savage little Ewoks only hold us back.
16:29Don't leave me out here!
16:31Don't leave me out!
16:39Thank you, Shah!
16:50Congratulations to Allah, yeah.
16:55Excuse me. Sorry.
16:56Excuse me.
16:58Uncle, can I have a word, please?
16:59Why are you calling me uncle of the same age?
17:02Oh, I mean, no, sorry, I'm actually here to look for someone someone who's gone missing my brother
17:08I'm Zofi. I think you know him. He's the big guy who does the cabs. Have you have you seen
17:12him?
17:13Well inshallah, we're just about to start praying come and join us and then after we can talk. It's just
17:17a bit of emergency
17:18Excuse me. Salamu alaikum everyone. My family's gone missing
17:23My parents Perviz Latif and my mother Tara Latif my siblings Zofi and Q Qura Tulain
17:30I think some of you know them. I'm just wondering if
17:34If you might have heard anything, I was hoping someone might be able to help
17:43Someone's left a pig's head at the front gate
17:47You're probably best to leave that
17:55Wait, he's with me. It's it's it's mine. It's mine
18:08Yeah
18:08Go the other way
18:12Quick down here
18:31Hey
18:34Hey
18:34Hey
18:35Hey
18:36Get in the package
18:37Shit
18:38Look what you've done sure
18:45You owe me an apology mate
18:47And a 90 seconds for the algorithm
18:49Yeah
18:51I told you your failures would catch up to you
18:55IDF bastard
18:56Who recruited you?
18:58Mossad
18:58IDF
18:59100% Mossad
19:00I told you
19:01I told you
19:02He's not Deep Patel
19:03He's much too short
19:05You can't handle them alone
19:08I told you that you need to be
19:15Him
19:16This is the Wooins
19:43It's the Royale
19:46Oh, fuck!
19:56Ah!
19:58Ah!
20:02Oh, no!
20:03Ah!
20:07Ah!
20:19Yes.
20:21Yes.
20:23The strong must replace the weak.
20:30Your turn now, Sha.
20:55This is the only way!
20:58Can't you see?
20:59Surrender!
21:01Surrender!
21:02Surrender!
21:02Surrender!
21:17Oh, my God.
21:34Oh, my God, are you okay?
21:44No.
21:45No.
21:51No.
21:53No.
21:57How bad is it?
21:59No, no, no. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not too bad.
22:00I feel like it's pretty bad. It feels like I'm missing an eye. Am I missing an eye?
22:06You're going to be okay. What? You're going to be okay.
22:09Oh, it's cold. It's so cold. I don't want to die.
22:15Say, I can't do this without you.
22:16I know you really can't. That other guy, though, the one chasing you, he had potential. Why? Why did you
22:28resist?
22:30You tell me. You're the only one who gets it. You're the only one who gets me.
22:34That's why I need you. But I don't even know who you were.
22:41I was who you needed me to be hidden inside the voice of Patrick Stewart, which is weird.
22:49You might want to unpack that.
22:55No, no, no. Don't go.
22:57No. We're a team. Okay?
23:00Good luck without me.
23:05Dickhead.
23:08Hey.
23:10Hey.
23:13Hey.
23:14Hey.
23:24And that's just the price of yours.
23:30You're stuck there on law.
23:31I told you I wasn't lying.
23:32You need to realise what we're dealing with here.
23:35Put it down.
23:35Don't put it down. Get rid of it.
23:36I am going to get rid of it.
23:37But just look at you.
23:38I don't need to see shit.
23:39She doesn't know what she's doing.
23:40I do know what I'm doing.
23:41And I'm not the one acting crazy here.
23:43Okay? Your son is.
23:44And so are you two by ignoring him.
23:45Shadju is fine.
23:46He's just stressed.
23:47I don't need to hear this shit.
23:48Why do we always have to pretend like everything's okay?
23:50When it is not...
23:51No one is pretending it.
23:52You pretend about everything.
23:53I do not.
23:54You're pretending right now.
23:56You are.
23:57Why can't...
23:59Baba?
24:00Barvez!
24:01Baba!
24:02Baba!
24:03Barvez!
24:04Barvez!
24:04Barvez!
24:05Shit.
24:06Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:07Come on.
24:08Fuck's sake.
24:09Emergency.
24:10Which service?
24:10Yeah, ambulance, please.
24:12Baba, I'm sorry, okay?
24:14I'm so sorry.
24:19I'm sorry.
24:23I'm sorry.
24:26I'm sorry.
24:27But you are Shah Jahan.
24:31King of the world.
24:34What the fuck?
24:35You're gonna be fine.
24:36You're gonna be fine.
24:37Okay?
24:37What's going on?
24:38I'm bleeding.
24:39I'm driving you home.
24:41How did you find me?
24:42With extreme difficulty, mate.
24:43Someone posted a video of you doing some weird death soliloquy after being hit by a car.
24:48Oh, yeah.
24:50Was it good?
24:51That was shit.
24:52But the view count's rising.
24:54Oh, fuck my family!
24:55Your family is fine.
24:56Q was the one who sent me the clip.
24:58If anything, they are more concerned about you.
25:00Oh, thank God.
25:01Thank God.
25:02Alicia.
25:03Yeah?
25:04I know I haven't been myself recently.
25:06Oh, that was extremely understated.
25:08Do that in the audition, yeah?
25:10What, is that still on?
25:11Yeah, it's still on.
25:13What?
25:13Yeah, no, you don't deserve me.
25:15I even got your slot pushed to the end of the day.
25:16Oh, my God, I fucking love you.
25:18Now, listen, we've got to clean you up, sort this shit out with your family,
25:21so I don't need you distracted in the room today, okay?
25:23All right, yeah.
25:25All right.
25:25Absolutely.
25:30Hey, I care about you, you know that, right?
25:35Yeah, I do.
25:48Hello?
25:49In here, baby.
25:52So, Nicole.
25:54Who are you?
25:56We're fine.
25:57How are you?
25:58Okay, I was so worried about you all.
26:02She's fucking crazy, bro.
26:03What the hell are you doing, Felicia?
26:05Going above and beyond as your agent.
26:07Again.
26:09Sit down.
26:10I can't believe I was going to do work.
26:11It's really good.
26:11All right, shut up.
26:15You think that I'm going to put up with your crap for eight years and let this opportunity
26:19pass me by?
26:19If you're not happy, then we can talk.
26:21I can change the commission structure.
26:22Oh, I'm not doing this because I'm unhappy.
26:25I'm doing this because you are.
26:26That doesn't even make sense.
26:27That's all in, bitch.
26:30Shah, do you want to know why you're blocked?
26:33Why you fucked the biggest moment of your career?
26:35You are looking at reason one, two, three, and four.
26:40You are obsessed with getting their blessing.
26:43Their approval.
26:44To be fair, you've been fixated on a lot more people's approval than just us.
26:48Ain't it?
26:48Yeah, ain't it?
26:50She's right.
26:50You keep trying to take people with you, but that's why there's only two seats in a DBS.
26:54Is that like a jet?
26:56It's an Aston Martin, you idiot.
26:57You know, the fact you didn't even mention the DB12 to him proves to me that you're a bloodcloth pagan.
27:02The fuck did you call me?
27:03Just use being true.
27:04They don't understand.
27:05Shut the fuck up!
27:06Listen to me, Shah.
27:07If you want to nail this audition, you have to eliminate all of them first.
27:14But these are my people.
27:17Everything I do is for them.
27:20Come on, you're ashamed of them.
27:24You're always trying to fix and change them, but you can't, so just cut them loose, man.
27:28You told me when you signed me that we were going to change things.
27:31We were going to make a difference.
27:32Yes, to your life.
27:34I'm not trying to give the whole village a piggyback.
27:37I didn't mean village.
27:37We're from Karachi.
27:38We've got running water there, thank you.
27:40Listen, making a difference means paying minimal tax.
27:45Maybe you buy a couple holiday homes.
27:47You can hire a few assistants who look just like you.
27:50That's what I want.
27:51But what do you want, Shah?
27:53Material stuff doesn't really matter to me.
27:55I'm an artist.
27:57Don't do something about you.
27:58I feel my...
27:59What?
27:59Why can't you accept that?
28:00I'm an artist.
28:02Yeah, you know what?
28:03True artists, they don't give a fuck about other people.
28:06What would they think?
28:08Come, let's do this loud now first.
28:10Don't do it!
28:16This should be the one who does it.
28:20Say what?
28:24Shahjoo?
28:24Shut up, Mummy.
28:26What the fuck are you doing, bro?
28:27Stop undermining me in front of everyone.
28:29You always do that.
28:31You will not shoot Mummy and Baba, okay?
28:34I forbid it.
28:34I'm in control now.
28:36Don't talk to your mother like that.
28:38Also, shoot her first.
28:39What?
28:40Come on, Thad.
28:41Everybody knows you pushed him into this.
28:43Your ambition, the pressure, the ridiculous school.
28:47That's from somebody who dragged us all to a whole new country.
28:50I'm sure that was so happy in Bucks.
28:52And the best actor award goes to...
28:53Shut up!
28:54I decide who gets it.
28:56And in what order?
28:58Bro, quick sidebar.
29:00Like, why am I even tied up?
29:02I've been your biggest fan since day.
29:04Like, do you know how many anonymous tweets I wrote defending you?
29:06Oh, I appreciate that.
29:07Yeah.
29:08I'm your ride or die, cuz.
29:10Obviously, I don't really want to die, but...
29:11Listen, these men are old as fuck.
29:13Like, they're on their way out already.
29:14You can do them guilt-free, do you know what I'm saying?
29:15Can you just shush?
29:16Okay?
29:16You're only here for the free shit and the clout anyway.
29:18How about you, shush?
29:19Yeah?
29:19You've been jealous of this man before you could walk?
29:21I took...
29:21Bro, I've been here for you since day one.
29:24I took a knife for you.
29:26Yeah?
29:26And my brother, I need to be here with you.
29:28For you, to defend you off from these snakes.
29:30You ungrateful fuck...
29:31Shut up, hodabudia!
29:33Listen to me, cuz.
29:34Yeah?
29:34Anytime I took the piss out of you, it was just character building.
29:37I was building you.
29:37You hate him.
29:39Shaju, Janna shoot Zulfi.
29:40He would have strangled you in the crib if he couldn't...
29:42Hey, listen.
29:43Nobody's shooting anywhere.
29:43Shut up!
29:46Oh, Allah.
29:50Cuz.
29:53That was what I want to say.
29:55Yeah?
29:56Guess me, you know I'm here, Katnath.
29:58I want to apologize for saying...
30:04Oh, okay.
30:05Good.
30:05Yeah, nah, you got rid of the most toxic elements in our family, so...
30:08Yeah, bro, you know what?
30:09You actually did well.
30:10I kind of rate that, so that was mad.
30:11Like, we weren't expecting that, were we?
30:14I wasn't expecting...
30:22Oh, it's always been you and me, Saju.
30:31Just me and my beautiful boy.
30:44Where am I?
30:46Hmm, nice little sleep.
30:49How many fingers?
30:50Three.
30:51Name?
30:52It says here, Sharaj...
30:54Sharajah.
30:55Yeah, everyone calls me Shar.
30:57Mary?
31:01Your abs aren't the best, Mr. Latif.
31:04It's been a long day.
31:05Yeah?
31:06What do you do for a living?
31:07I'm a nectar.
31:09What have you been in then?
31:11You think I've seen?
31:12Probably not.
31:15Might be in next James Bond, though.
31:20One distance in a couple of hours.
31:21You taking a piss?
31:23Yeah.
31:24I mean, you have to before you go anywhere.
31:26You're dehydrated, love.
31:27Fuck.
31:28My...
31:29My family, yeah.
31:31They're gone, Doctor.
31:32They're missing.
31:34Sounds like a busy day.
31:36Doctor will be in soon.
31:40Bond.
31:40Huh?
31:42Break a leg.
31:44Yeah.
31:54Yeah.
31:58Yeah.
31:58Yeah.
32:03Yeah.
32:06That's all.
32:08Yeah.
32:09Yeah, it doesn't have to leave.
32:10It's just a fire.
32:18So Latif, what are you doing?
32:20I need you to go back to your room.
32:22You can't keep me here.
32:25What are you doing, bro? We're in here.
32:28What the fuck are you doing here?
32:29What do you mean?
32:30Why do you never reply to your text, man?
32:32Why, you two?
32:33Look who's finally shown up.
32:35Oh, my God, thank you.
32:36Baba!
32:37Peter, where were you?
32:38Oh, Shadjoo!
32:39Oh, and I told you, here you come!
32:44What happened to you, man?
32:45You look like shit.
32:46I just, I slipped and I hit my head like an idiot, that's all.
32:49What happened to you, Baba?
32:49This is a little heartache, God.
32:51Nothing to piss your pants about.
32:52Where's Sophie?
32:53He's offering his new boyfriend.
33:01Oh, um, it's, it's Braviz, okay?
33:04You've got more to worry about than Braviz.
33:05This is about you.
33:06I'm sorry, okay?
33:07We were just halal texting.
33:09Okay, there was one weird pic.
33:10Can you shut the fuck up?
33:11I'm not here about you.
33:12She can deal with you herself.
33:13I respect her.
33:14You were disrespecting me, didn't you?
33:15And you're wasting my time.
33:17Okay.
33:18Can I be honest with you?
33:20I love Muba, okay?
33:22And so does the investment team in Dubai.
33:25For real?
33:25Tomorrow afternoon, I'm flying out.
33:27Muba is first thing on the agenda.
33:33Tomorrow afternoon?
33:34Yeah, you know what?
33:35Come with me.
33:36I love you.
33:37I'll pay for your flight.
33:39Wait.
33:41I think I've got to see him right now.
33:43Bro, they're getting on a plane.
33:44Well, then come.
33:44They've got to go.
33:45But you have your audition today.
33:47Mummy, fuck the audition.
33:48I have to see Sophie.
33:49Sophie.
33:51Can you imagine?
33:53I can't do this without you.
33:56Is your phone fully charged?
33:57Yeah.
33:58Then yeah, I can't do this without you.
34:05I could get fired for just having you in this car.
34:08Oh, yeah.
34:09Sophie banned you from the app.
34:11Nice.
34:12You know, nothing's going to happen to you, mate.
34:13That's me on the dashboard, all right?
34:15Really?
34:18I thought it was Dev Patel.
34:20Right, you know what?
34:22You get it before 3.30, I'll give you an extra 20 quid.
34:24How's that?
34:24Wait.
34:25Chill.
34:25Yeah, this is my account.
34:26I'm good for the dough.
34:27No, you ain't.
34:28You're broke as fuck.
34:30What?
34:31You leave tags on your clothes.
34:36It's harder to return them with the tags off, all right?
34:38Oh, stop it, bro.
34:39It's embarrassing.
34:40Shit.
34:41We might not even make it in time.
34:43You'll make it?
34:43I know all the shortcuts to the airport
34:45while avoiding all the speed cameras and CCTV.
34:48I could even get you through security and onto a runway if you want.
34:52Just try the car.
34:53Please drive the car.
34:55To the terminal, not the runway.
35:06That way.
35:07That way.
35:17What are you doing here? I'm just oh my god, you can't keep doing this
35:22I can't believe this is happening. Um, I thought I made it clear when we spoke last night that this
35:27isn't
35:27I'm going to try and stop you leaving. Oh
35:29We actually need to try and stop someone else leaving
35:34I'm sorry you saw him last night. You didn't tell me that. Yeah, Ollie, right?
35:38Hey, nice to meet you, man. Yeah, I've heard a lot about you. Oh my god. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh,
35:44it's worse than it looks
35:47Oh, seriously, I think we've got to go. Yeah, we've got to go. What are you like? 6-2?
35:51Come on
35:54What was that, Yaz?
35:56I got it. You got it. Yeah
36:00Excuse me, sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
36:02Excuse me, sorry, sorry.
36:05Whoa! Boarding pass. We don't have boarding passes, but somebody that we really need to speak to has just gone
36:10through
36:10Yeah, that's not how it works. Sorry, one sec. Have you got any photos of Sophie on the phone?
36:16Yeah
36:16Excuse me. We have reason to believe that this individual is a terror suspect and a security threat. We need
36:23to locate them and stop them immediately
36:25One moment, sir.
36:27What the fuck are you doing, Rob? Trust me. It's gonna work. No, no, no. I'm not in golf.
36:32Right, um, you said something about security. I did. Yeah, um, he's traveling to the Middle East
36:36He runs a complex network of drivers, couriers and black market dashcam suppliers. And how do you know this?
36:41I have links to the security establishment.
36:44What links?
36:45MI5
36:45Sorry, I... MI5
36:50Yeah, not buying it. Next.
36:53I'm sorry, what do you... what do you mean you're not buying it?
36:57I ain't, you know, tone of voice, body language, the whole performance really. I just didn't see it in the
37:00eyes.
37:01Let me go again. You film it this time and we can watch it back together.
37:04You are already on camera. If you keep annoying me, I'm gonna put you on the news.
37:08Better than having a hundred dead bodies and exploding 747 on the news.
37:11They don't fly 747 anymore.
37:12Because of people like this, I'm trying to tell you. Trained in Chechnya, fought in Afghanistan, the Battle of Kandahar,
37:18maybe you've...
37:18What are you doing?
37:21He's saying you're a security threat and a terrorist.
37:23I'm an entrepreneur.
37:25Sorry.
37:28Hey, come to talk. Next.
37:31Yeah.
37:35You got blood?
37:37Oh, yeah.
37:39I got hit by a car.
37:41You hurt?
37:42Yeah.
37:42Good.
37:49Bro, I'm sorry.
37:51I'm really, really sorry.
37:53I've been a fucking dickhead.
37:55Through this...
37:56My whole life, I've seen you out here. Yeah? Doing you.
38:01I've been at home, bro. Trying to repay your family for taking me in QA.
38:09I should thank you.
38:11You know what you made me realize?
38:13I have to do me.
38:17Yeah.
38:20Wait, is this like a real thank you? Like a fuck you thank you?
38:24Both.
38:26I'm tired of being the little baby.
38:28I'm not trying to be a junior partner in a relationship.
38:30That's it.
38:30And I hear that.
38:31Yeah.
38:32And I don't want to control you.
38:34I'm sorry I swayed you.
38:36I just...
38:37I've just been ticking boxes my whole life.
38:40And...
38:41You're not a box.
38:42You are...
38:43flour.
38:45With layers.
38:46Like an onion.
38:47Okay, you need to work on that.
38:49Yeah.
38:51What are you getting on that plane yet?
38:54I'm back in four days.
38:57Oh.
38:58Why didn't you just call me anyway?
38:59I...
39:00This is too important.
39:06I love you, bro.
39:07Say again?
39:08I said you're a fucking prick.
39:10You're a little prick too.
39:11Yeah.
39:15Uh...
39:16That way.
39:17That way.
39:18That way.
39:19Uh...
39:19I'll see you at baggage claim.
39:21For fuck's sake.
39:24Yes.
39:25I'll put yourself together.
39:26We're going in the air for you, bro.
39:27Ma'am.
39:27Give me my phone, please.
39:28It's children now.
39:30Psycho.
39:33Uh...
39:33I don't know if you're still down,
39:35but you could probably still make an audition.
39:53tell me all by the way.
40:05Or...
40:14Uh...
40:48Mr Lateef, we're ready when you are.
41:04There he is, someone's had a busy few days, so we're just going to go straight to the monologue,
41:14okay?
41:15Please tell me you're ready.
41:17Reporting for duty, ma'am.
41:18Set on camera.
41:19Fire on set.
41:21Sound speed.
41:23Screen test, Charlotteef, take two.
41:25Marker.
41:29And we're set, and...
41:33Action!
41:36I could have just as easily ended a few centimeters to the left.
41:39It wouldn't have mattered to you at all, would it?
41:42Just as long as you were pleasing your masters, letting them tell you exactly who to be.
41:50But I see you.
41:53And when it's just you, all alone, tell me, how do you live with yourself?
42:02Do you even know who you are anymore?
42:10Do you want to know what it's like doing the dirty work, fighting everybody and being
42:20a nobody?
42:20all alone?
42:23The blood of my hands is mine.
42:30because I kill a part of myself every day I don't live with myself
42:44live with whoever you need me to be
42:52if I don't know who I am it's good
42:57you don't want to know
43:01and cut
43:13I've never seen anybody turn a performance around like they
43:17you see you just
43:19I think I get it now
43:20okay well great
43:22now it's just one more thing
43:23it's just a bit of a rite of passage
43:27okay
43:29congratulations
43:35back to one
43:39so now you're going to say your name
43:41in three
43:47two
43:51one
43:55action
43:56the name's
44:02Shah Jahan
44:04let's say his name is
Comments