- 2 days ago
Your Friends and Neighbors S01E04
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TVTranscript
00:00The End
00:01The End
00:01The End
00:05The End
00:07The End
00:11The End
00:16Now I'm going
00:18Now I'm going
00:27Let's go
00:28Let's go
00:28Go go go
00:28Go go go go
06:03I owe you.
07:53I'm pretty sure she did.
07:57What chaos, Marley?
07:58You know something I don't know?
08:00Well, I'm just not as close to it as you are.
08:02No, you're not.
08:06Yeah.
08:06I think you forgot to grab the oatmeal.
08:15Oh, yes she did.
08:17I guess what I meant.
08:19I guess what I meant was she doesn't mean to be the way she is.
08:26These people are assholes.
08:27There's no getting around that.
08:29But you work in a profession that tracks and breeds assholes as a matter of course.
08:34And I know, it sucks having to put on your suit and go ask guys beneath your pay grade for
08:38a job.
08:39But ultimately, you and I are in sales coupe.
08:43We sell ourselves.
08:44You know what they say, trading sucks, sales swallows.
08:47Is there any way you could postpone this lecture?
08:50I just ran into Harvey Ratner.
08:51I will pay you to stop talking.
08:54With what?
08:55The Ratners are consolidating their operations and looking to put in a new CIO.
08:59The Ratners? I'm not dead yet, am I?
09:00I know, it's not ideal, but right now more than anything we need you back in the game.
09:05I just need to take a beat.
09:08You're already taking a beat.
09:10You can't take a beat from taking a beat.
09:12What are you worried about?
09:13I paid your bill.
09:15Yes.
09:16A brown bag of cash.
09:18I don't think that isn't keeping me up at night.
09:20I need you back at work.
09:21Cool.
09:23You need you back at work.
09:24I think what I need is a little hiatus.
09:27Sure.
09:30Or, and I'm just spitballing here, maybe that will leave you well and truly fucked.
09:36Now is not the time for a hiatus.
09:39Now is the time for a solid, low-level panic.
09:42You heard Massey.
09:43God only knows how long this lawsuit will take.
09:46Nice of you to join us.
09:47Sorry, sorry.
09:48Jesus.
09:49Ten after.
09:50Calm down.
09:52You know, the old timers already beat us to the first tee.
09:54Sorry, I got waylaid by my fucking contractor.
09:57You know, if the man could work as fast as he bills me, we'd have been done months ago.
10:01Our last renovation almost ended the marriage.
10:04Are you married?
10:05I hadn't noticed.
10:06Fuck you.
10:07How far over budget are you?
10:09Oh, you mean there's a budget.
10:10Someone should tell my wife.
10:11If Grace does have an eye, tell me about it.
10:14There.
10:15Nice.
10:17Brad, did I hear you fired your housekeeper?
10:20I had to.
10:21My Rishar mill got stolen.
10:22How do you know she took it?
10:23I don't, for sure, but she was the only one who had access.
10:26Besides, she was getting way too comfortable.
10:33It's a good excuse to, you know, bring in some new blood.
10:36That watch is a serious piece of hardware.
10:40Any chance it might be recovered?
10:41Maybe if the cops gave a shit, which they don't.
10:44The detective thinks I just misplaced it.
10:47Like, like I'm gonna misplace a quarter of a million dollar watch.
10:51So you told the cops?
10:53Yeah.
10:54I needed a police report for the insurance.
10:58Nice.
10:59So you're covered.
11:01Sure.
11:02We'll get a fat shack, but it's a limited edition piece.
11:07Irreplaceable.
11:07Lisa has an uncle who works in the Diamond District.
11:09You can probably get it for you on the gray market.
11:11You can ask her about it at Mel's birthday thing.
11:13Gordy.
11:16What?
11:17Guys, I'm invited.
11:19It's fine.
11:20Seriously?
11:21Yes.
11:22You see?
11:25There you go, Barney.
11:27There you go.
11:35Hey, do you have a copy of yesterday's Navajo board?
11:37Oh, yeah.
11:38Let me pull it up.
11:46Just give me a little minute here.
11:54Well, next time.
11:57You.
11:57You owe me.
11:59It's your turn.
12:00No.
12:00Yeah.
12:00What?
12:04I shot it over to you.
12:09All right.
12:10We covered the tables at the bar, the dance floor over the pool.
12:13So we'll do a whole indoor-outdoor thing with seating for 150.
12:16What can we do about that?
12:17We are copper moths.
12:18Don't ask me.
12:19Hey.
12:19Okay.
12:20Come on.
12:20We gotta hit all four floors here.
12:22I want a full permethrin spread.
12:23I want vinegar seals the worst.
12:25Okay.
12:26We could do a flower wall.
12:29Hide that whole section.
12:30Or we could build a board wrap of some kind.
12:33What do you think, Notorious?
12:35Why not both?
12:36More is more.
12:37I know.
12:38More is more.
12:39What's going on here?
12:41Hey.
12:41It's the almost birthday girl.
12:43You weren't supposed to be home yet.
12:45Melanie.
12:46Jane Rubin.
12:47Rubin Catering and Events.
12:49Ah, nice to meet you.
12:50Nice to meet you.
12:51I told you I didn't want to party.
12:53No, I don't.
12:54Sorry about that.
12:54Yeah, Jose.
12:55Hey, Jose.
12:55Hey.
12:56Come on, Mom.
12:57You can't cancel now.
12:58Nana and Pops are gonna be so disappointed.
13:00You called my parents in Boca?
13:02It was gonna be a surprise.
13:03I'm flying them out.
13:04My parents are not coming here.
13:05No, why not?
13:06But come on, Mom.
13:07It's gonna be great.
13:08Ma'am?
13:08Nana's totally not racist anymore.
13:10Remember that Uber driver she told us about?
13:11Ma'am?
13:12That's why I'm calling?
13:14That is not happening.
13:18Oh, good.
13:18Is this okay?
13:19Okay, go, go.
13:19She'll come around.
13:21Okay.
13:21That's what my dad said.
13:24I'm sorry about this.
13:26I think Nick and I just, um, had a miscommunication.
13:32Well, I can tell you he is going all out for you.
13:36I wish my husband would think more like him.
13:39Oh.
13:39How long have you two been married?
13:51A lot of shopping bags in your closet.
13:53Half of them are returns.
13:55Oh, and Lily needed a new saddle and equipment for horseback riding.
13:59What's wrong with her old saddle?
14:00This one's for dressage.
14:02Apparently, our daughter has a very strong seat.
14:05Ugh.
14:05I know it's a compliment, but it just sounds like an insult.
14:10Why?
14:12What's wrong?
14:13I think, with the renovation and everything, we should try to cut back on spending.
14:18Just for a little while.
14:19Hey, are we okay?
14:20No.
14:21We're just a little cash crunch.
14:24We're fine.
14:25Good.
14:27Because, um, we can always return the specter.
14:34Or, um, I don't know, I guess I could stop wearing these expensive pajamas.
14:49Better?
14:55Let me see it on again.
14:57Oh, no, no.
15:05Oh!
15:06Oh!
15:15Who is...
15:17Jack Black.
15:19Ah.
15:21Hey!
15:22Wanna watch a movie?
15:24No gig tonight?
15:26Mmm, private event.
15:28Come on, we can watch one of your kung fu dragon films.
15:32You know there's no literal dragons in any of those movies, right?
15:34Well, that's disappointing.
15:35What is SOS?
15:37What is SOS?
15:39Are you using your chest as a bowl?
15:42Yeah.
15:42Well, it's a much more efficient popcorn delivery system.
15:47Disgusting.
15:47What the fuck is that?
15:49It's probably mom, with a vacuum cleaner, wanting to talk about your life decisions.
15:54Worse than the kids.
15:56Coming!
15:58Who is Al's Cooper?
16:07What are you doing here?
16:08I need to talk to you.
16:15I shouldn't be here.
16:16And yet, here you are.
16:18Massey's in Jack's pocket.
16:19What?
16:20Massey was in Jack's office today.
16:22Yeah.
16:23I gave you a heads up on that right before you hung up on me.
16:26He's my lawyer.
16:26This didn't look like that.
16:29What did it look like then?
16:30Like Massey's in Jack's pocket.
16:32There are laws against that.
16:33Did you pay a retainer?
16:35Sign a contract?
16:37You said it'd get back to me shit.
16:38Are you sure?
16:40Think of everything you know about Jack.
16:42And Massey.
16:45Hire someone else.
16:46Yeah, I really wish you wouldn't.
16:52What's Jack giving you?
16:54What?
16:54For all this, what's Jack giving you?
16:56What?
16:58A higher floor.
17:00Drax.
17:01He'd fire me if he knew I was here.
17:03I know.
17:04I appreciate it.
17:07I'm gonna go.
17:13Well, uh...
17:14Thank you for coming by.
17:16You must be wishing you never met me.
17:20Well...
17:21It was a fun weekend.
17:24It was...
17:52It was...
17:59It was a fun weekend.
18:00Who was that?
18:02Fucking everybody.
18:04What is going on with you?
18:13God.
18:16Give me a second.
18:18Yeah.
18:20Hey.
18:21Already?
18:24Uh...
18:25Yeah.
18:26I mean...
18:27Sure.
18:30Okay.
18:30I'll be right there.
18:32Great.
18:34I gotta go.
18:36I know.
18:36I know.
18:43When Elita said she wanted to be partners, it turned out she meant immediately.
18:46So now I would be committing felonies with the housekeeper of the man who was sleeping with my ex-wife.
18:51Which, if nothing else, was a pretty good indicator that my little enterprise was already spinning out of control.
18:56On the other hand, it was never a bad thing to have some backup.
19:00Hey.
19:01What car is this?
19:02Snakes.
19:03Or errands.
19:06Nice touch.
19:09What's that?
19:10Wi-Fi jammer.
19:12Kills the cameras.
19:14You've got gear.
19:15The right tool for the right job.
19:38Are you sure about this?
19:40Mm-hmm.
19:41Are women supposed to be...
19:44sentimental about their jewelry?
19:46Not about the panther.
19:48It's from her ex-husband.
19:50Audrey told me that she kept it out of spite in a divorce.
19:52She never wears it.
19:53How does she know that?
19:54Audrey knows everything.
19:56Turned out the housekeeper network was a real thing, and there was almost nothing about us that they didn't know.
20:02They were a social network, like any other, supporting each other, covering for each other, spreading information like currency across
20:09the neighborhood.
20:10These women moving quietly and unobtrusively through our lives were quietly and unobtrusively taking note of everything.
20:17And sharing it in WhatsApp groups and weekly card games.
20:21And Elena...
20:23She was at the center of it all.
20:26We did four jobs in two weeks.
20:28All surgical.
20:29All clean.
20:29All thanks to Elena.
20:31Everything was where she said it would be.
20:33And it was all stuff no one would miss for a while.
20:36If ever.
20:38So come over and down, we Hm.
21:06Alright,
21:45We had a good thing going.
21:47All we had to do was stick to the plan and not get greedy.
21:54Okay, so this guy that we're meeting...
21:57Hector.
21:57Hector. What's his deal?
21:59He works for Charter Security, which they do most of the alarms in your neighborhood, so he can help us.
22:04Well, I'm not really looking to take on another partner at this point.
22:06Okay, I'm going to think of him more as a consultant.
22:11Where are you?
22:14Seriously?
22:15It's a family dinner.
22:17You thought this would be an appropriate time to make an introduction?
22:20What introduction? He's my cousin.
22:22Saludos!
22:25Hey!
22:26Hey!
22:27Hey!
22:31Hey!
22:32Take it easy.
22:32Hey, draghe. Take it easy.
22:34Okay, draghe.
22:35No, take it easy.
22:37No, take it easy.
22:50Hey, draghe.
22:51Hey!
22:51Hey, it's in my house?
22:52No.
22:53This is my business associate.
22:55Can we please talk alone?
22:58Man and the girl, Chivo.
23:02Ready?
23:03Yeah.
23:07No, no way, I'm not getting involved in this shit,
23:09and it's not cool for you guys to ambush me like this.
23:12Okay, just for the record, I didn't know that you didn't know,
23:16and I would never have supported this ambush.
23:18You're not getting involved involved.
23:20You're just passing on some neighborhood alarm codes.
23:23Oh, just that.
23:24And we'll pay you $5,000 per code.
23:25What?
23:34You're not getting involved in this contract.
23:35You're going to deport them.
23:36You're losing everything.
23:37He's losing everything you think.
23:39What are you doing?
23:41They're doing everything.
23:42I know you're killing yourself, working double
23:44while Julio is hurting your back.
23:46It's too much for you, my brother.
23:48So, he said we deserve this.
23:50Life doesn't give you what you deserve,
23:52but what you can negotiate.
23:56This is about the chill.
23:59What are you talking about?
24:03Hmm?
24:05Too heavy of luck, aren't you?
24:09$5,000 per code.
24:11What are you talking about?
24:17I get paid in cash, up front.
24:19Okay.
24:20We haven't had a chance to discuss this fee internally,
24:23so maybe we could put a pin in that,
24:24and maybe we can sidebar.
24:26Can you...
24:38I thought I saw a Dominican Republic flag back at your cousin's house.
24:41Is that where you're from?
24:43Yeah.
24:44When did you move here?
24:46I was, uh, 23.
24:49My parents wanted to get me away from some bad influences.
24:52Oh.
24:54What kind of bad influences?
24:57Keeping it vague, huh?
25:00What does it matter?
25:01I've been here 12 years,
25:02and look at me now,
25:03robbing houses with a banker.
25:05It's...
25:06a hedge fund,
25:07but...
25:08whatever.
25:09You can use a housekeeper.
25:11I have a service.
25:12Comes twice a week.
25:13Oh.
25:15Oh.
25:16Getting ripped off.
25:18So, you know,
25:20you never did tell me
25:20why you didn't turn me in that night at Nick's.
25:23I wanted in.
25:24Well, yeah.
25:26But why?
25:29I mean, look,
25:29if we're gonna be partners,
25:30we might as well know at least
25:32this about each other.
25:36I've been cleaning houses 10 years.
25:38I know women who've been doing it into their 70s.
25:40And for what?
25:43What do they get?
25:46At a certain point,
25:47it feels like not taking the shortcut
25:49is a bigger crime than the actual crime.
25:51Well, what's the end game?
25:53Bringing my parents here,
25:55for starters.
25:56I know an immigration lawyer
25:57might be able to help with that.
25:58You make it sound like
25:58all I have to do is sign the right forms.
26:02Takes a lot of money to get them here.
26:04Takes even more money to keep them here.
26:07And...
26:07giving them a life.
26:09Fair enough.
26:10And then there's Jibo
26:11getting in trouble faster
26:12than I can get him out.
26:14You wouldn't understand.
26:15Well, I don't know
26:16if you're right about that.
26:18They just moved my sister in with me.
26:20In here?
26:21Yeah.
26:22And you're okay with that?
26:23Yeah, I mean, you know,
26:25I don't know.
26:25You get used to living with people.
26:29There's a presence.
26:30Even if they're not in the same room
26:31or if you're asleep.
26:34The empty house just feels different.
26:37More like a tomb, you know?
26:39And then you start looking for any excuse
26:40to not come home.
26:42And that, I can tell you from personal experience,
26:44leads to some very poor decisions.
26:46I should get your money.
27:06You're cut from the last two jobs.
27:11You're gonna count it?
27:15Interesting.
27:15No, you don't.
27:17Not yet, anyway.
27:19I'm gonna count it when I get home.
27:21That's what I would do.
27:27Thanks for a beer group.
27:32You sure about Hector?
27:34You sure about any of this?
27:39Okay.
27:40So the anniversary of your first episode is coming up?
27:43Ah, next week.
27:45I would've been married 11 years.
27:50Were you tempted to reach out to Bruce again?
27:54No.
27:56I do wonder what he would have gotten me as a steel anniversary or turquoise the internet is
28:05divided how did it feel in your body to think about that heavy in my legs like I'm stuck in
28:17the mud I heard hold me now by the Thompson twins on the radio on my way to a gig
28:25that was supposed
28:26to be our wedding song and um and I got through the whole thing this time usually I have to
28:34cut
28:34it off after the first verse and did you make it to the gig I did
28:44and they offered me a regular slot it's terrific how did Andy react he must have been proud
28:52I haven't I haven't told him I haven't told anyone sounds to me like you redirected some
28:58powerful emotions into your art and were rewarded for it can you let yourself celebrate that
29:06historically uh things don't go so well when I celebrate let's talk about that
29:13Elena picked a target and Hector came through with our first $5,000 alarm code
29:18one two three
29:22come on come on
29:28Hector my man
29:29you could sound a little less surprised
29:31I'm sorry it's just a little nerve wracking
29:37Elena is there a dog here
29:38died last month they made Lorelai handle the burial
29:41thank god I mean not thank god that's awful
29:46god handle the burial that's rough no pun intended
29:53how does that compare to what uh Nick makes you do
29:56well that's easy unless he's barely home anymore
29:58yeah thanks for that
30:00shit sorry
30:01but isn't this bitter act getting a little old
30:03you're telling me you never cheated on anybody
30:06never
30:06wow really
30:07it sounded a little less surprised
30:12okay
30:14I think I found it
30:15okay so we're looking for anything or a mess
30:28there's probably a no more obnoxious or coveted status symbol in the Hermes Birkin named after singer-actress Jane Birkin
30:34they're handcrafted in France by an elusive cabal of craftsmen trained in centuries old equestrian trade techniques
30:40using only the highest end leather exotic animal skins stitching and hardware the Birkin is the crown jewel of any
30:47woman's handbag collection
30:48the rub is you can't simply walk into an Hermes boutique and buy one you've got to play the Hermes
30:53game which means spending tens of thousands on jewelry and accessories aka Birkin bait just to get waitlisted for the
31:00privilege of spending upwards of 50 grand for a bag
31:04and you thought hedge funds were
31:05what the fuck is that
31:06there's another alarm
31:07why the fuck is there another alarm
31:09hello
31:10try the house code
31:11there's no fucking keypad
31:13where do I find a keypad
31:14do you know
31:15it's got to be there somewhere
31:16wait wait wait
31:17I got it
31:17I got it
31:17I got it
31:18hold on hold on
31:18hold on
31:19holy shit
31:22Coop
31:23it's not working
31:24it's not working
31:25Coop
31:26fuck
31:26it's not
31:27what do I do
31:27get out of there
31:33what kind of security system is this
31:37Jesus Christ
31:44Coop where are you get out of here
31:46yeah I don't think I can do that
31:47why not
31:48because they got another dog
31:53hey
31:55hi
31:57you want a treat
31:59huh
32:12coming up front
32:13do not come up front
32:14do not go up front
32:15I don't really have a choice
32:23cool
32:24leave it
32:38where the hell are you
32:39I'm on the street
32:40oh go run east
32:41which way is east
32:44how the fuck am I supposed to know
32:47I don't know where I'm going
32:48I don't know where I'm going
32:53tell me where I'm going
33:04there are cops everywhere
33:06just be careful
33:07okay
33:10okay
33:11okay
33:12okay
33:13okay
33:14okay
33:34shut up
33:35my fucking earpiece
33:44Answer me if you can hear me.
33:53Coop? Hello?
34:07Let's go.
34:17Okay, okay, okay, okay.
34:18Throw the lights.
34:20Okay, throw the lights.
34:30Holy shit.
34:36Help me.
34:37Where the fuck are we?
34:58Hey, I need your air wrap.
35:01Mom.
35:03What, you're not even dressed?
35:05People are already here.
35:07I just have to do my makeup.
35:17So gorgeous.
35:21Hey, come on.
35:22I'll help you.
35:24Oh yeah, sorry.
35:25Just like look at the ceiling?
35:27Perfect.
35:50Okay, please open space, please.
35:52Oh, there you are.
35:53Happy birthday.
35:55Happy birthday.
35:58You look beautiful.
36:00Um, bar.
36:02Now.
36:02Oh, now.
36:03Oh, but not.
36:05Oh, you're gonna stand here.
36:07Oh.
36:08Wow.
36:11Yeah.
36:12Just, you know.
36:15Babe.
36:19A melatini.
36:21Tonight's signature drink.
36:22Baby, I just really want a vodka martini.
36:25Very dirty.
36:26Yeah, that's what the melatini is.
36:28I know what you like, babe.
36:30Hey, girl.
36:31Oh.
36:32Oh my god.
36:34We're both fire signs.
36:37Really?
36:37Yeah.
36:38We're more into Enneagrams here.
36:40You mean like word games?
36:42Uh, yeah.
36:43Yes, sure.
36:44Yes, I know.
36:45Right.
36:46Wow.
36:47I mean.
36:48Okay.
36:49Oh.
36:49Hey, Sam.
36:50Paul.
36:52Could you give us a minute?
36:53I don't think so.
36:54We're here first.
36:57Did you get my voicemails?
36:58Anything you have to say can go through our lawyers.
37:00God knows we pay them enough.
37:01I pay them enough.
37:02You can afford it.
37:03Unless Misty is spending you out of house and home.
37:06Can you really rack up that much of a tab at Fashion Nova?
37:08Yeah, it doesn't have to be like this.
37:12Oh, you should go back up there.
37:15It looks like they're proofing your girlfriend at the bar.
37:21Ladies.
37:23Bye, Paul.
37:48What the fuck?
37:49How did Hector not know about the second alarm?
37:51They gotta be from the same company.
37:52He didn't know what he was looking for, okay?
37:54Well, for five grand, you better fucking know.
37:55Can you sit down?
37:56You're making it worse.
37:58Where's your first aid kit?
37:59I don't have one.
38:01Okay.
38:01Do you have vodka?
38:02In the freezer.
38:03Give me a phone.
38:04I'm gonna order the rest on DoorDash.
38:06Fucker.
38:06I need your face.
38:08Oh, man.
38:10Oh.
38:15Why is Samantha Levitt sending you nudes?
38:18Oh, my God.
38:18It's complicated, okay?
38:20How do you know Samantha Levitt?
38:22Why does everybody know everybody in this town?
38:24Of course, everyone fucking knows everyone.
38:26Is that why you were fighting with her husband at Nick's?
38:28No, Paul is just a dick, okay?
38:30Can we please drop this?
38:31No.
38:35Okay.
38:38Ready?
38:38Yeah.
38:41Uh...
38:43We gotta be more careful.
38:44People are gonna hear about this.
38:46About you and Sam?
38:47No.
38:48About me being chased by police and a dog.
38:51Hey.
38:52It'll pass.
38:53Yeah.
38:54So this looks more like a scratch than a full-on bite,
38:58but I would still probably put some antibiotics on this.
39:00It'll be fine.
39:00What are we gonna do about Hector?
39:02I'll straighten on Hector.
39:04Okay?
39:04Okay.
39:05You know what?
39:06I'll be fine.
39:07I'll be fine.
39:08I gotta go.
39:09I'm gonna be late.
39:10Late?
39:11Late to what?
39:12Mel's birthday party.
39:13I gotta change.
39:15Are you serious?
39:17You're a complicated guy, Coop.
39:19I know.
39:19Sometimes I don't understand myself.
39:22Another shot for this bad bitch.
39:23Tequila shots.
39:24Doubles, please.
39:25And we have gone Julio.
39:26None of that spring break shit.
39:27Uh-uh.
39:27Go and ask adults.
39:29Line them up.
39:30Strong.
39:31Here we go.
39:31It's your baby.
39:34Oh.
39:35Happy birthday.
39:36That's my girl.
39:37Oh!
39:39Allie?
39:42Happy birthday, Melie.
39:44Thank you for coming.
39:46Of course I wouldn't miss it.
39:47Melie, we haven't seen you in forever.
39:49You do not age.
39:51You look amazing.
39:52Oh, of course she looks amazing.
39:53Yeah.
39:54She doesn't have kids sucking the life out of her through her tits.
39:56Mm-hmm.
39:57May I apologize in advance for anything they may say at any point tonight?
40:01Please don't leave.
40:03Okay?
40:04Fuck yourself, Coop!
40:07Fuck you!
40:08Oh, shit.
40:09Did somebody miss their nap time?
40:10Yay!
40:14Okay, let's stand.
40:16Oh, come on.
40:17Birthday girl dance.
40:19Birthday girl dance.
40:20Come on.
40:20I'm a happy man.
40:22I'm a happy man.
40:22I'm a happy man.
40:22I'm a happy man.
40:23It's all this fun.
40:24I'm a happy man.
40:24Get what I want, what I want, what I want, what I want, cause I like it.
40:28I walk into the room, got all eyes on me.
40:31You know I am the mood, my own energy.
40:36And I want it my way, yeah.
41:12Hey, Kat.
41:13How are you?
41:14Looking good.
41:17It's fine.
41:17Look.
41:17Oh, hi, hi, Kat.
41:19Look.
41:20I'm fine.
41:21Yeah.
41:22Hey, Kat.
41:28It's quite a picture.
41:32Are you gonna do something about it?
41:33You got out of bed, didn't you?
41:34You've been spending a lot of time in bed recently.
41:38Okay, is this about the girl?
41:40Wow.
41:41You nailed it on your first try.
41:42And they say men are too.
41:43Sam.
41:44I just thought you were better than that.
41:46Well, better than Paul, at least.
41:48Though I have to admit, it's not a very high bar.
41:51Okay.
41:52She was a former colleague.
41:54She came by to drop some things off at the house.
41:55She never even came inside.
41:57She kissed you like someone who's fucked you.
42:00Well.
42:02Well, maybe some women just kissed that way.
42:18There you are.
42:21Tori, can I get you over here for a minute?
42:24Why?
42:25Nick wants a family photo.
42:26I'm not his family.
42:32That's what I'm talking about.
42:34That wasn't for you.
42:35Well, I'm going to pretend it was.
42:37Ah.
42:40You're late.
42:40Yes, I'm sorry.
42:42Cut me some slack, please, will you?
42:46What?
42:49Okay, are you going to tell me what's wrong,
42:50or are you going to stand there with your arms crossed?
42:52All you get is slack.
42:54Slack to be a shitty dad, husband, whatever,
42:57with no consequences.
42:58Excuse me.
42:59My life is one big consequence.
43:03See, you want me to feel bad for you,
43:05and this is all your fault.
43:06Hey, for the record,
43:07I didn't choose any of this.
43:09Okay, but you didn't fight, Dad.
43:11It was your job to fight for Mom, for us.
43:14Okay, you were the only one who could,
43:15and you just walked away.
43:19Well, it was a little more complicated than that.
43:22Right, you made leaving look pretty fucking simple.
43:24Hey, hey, hey, Jake.
43:27Hey, I got this.
43:28I know.
43:29Can you do me a favor?
43:30Yeah.
43:30Get the fuck out of my way.
43:31Oh, sure thing.
43:34Hey.
43:47Oh.
43:48Hey.
43:49Hey.
43:50You came.
43:51Yeah, just in time to get my ass handed to me
43:54by our daughter.
43:54Oh, well, I got to pass tonight
43:57for my birthday.
43:58Well, happy birthday, Mel.
44:03Wow.
44:04We went all out.
44:05Sorry.
44:07Hello, hello.
44:08Justin!
44:11That's my cue.
44:12Hey.
44:14Hey.
44:15Hey, you can have one.
44:15Go, go, go.
44:16News, Mel.
44:19Where are you, Mel?
44:20Oh, there you go.
44:24Come on, baby.
44:25I want you next to me for this.
44:28Pretty, please.
44:32Come on, come on.
44:35Come on, just let him do it.
44:36You got it, you got it, you got it.
44:37Come on.
44:41Happy birthday.
44:43Happy birthday.
44:46Happy birthday.
44:47Yes, you're welcome.
44:49Happy birthday.
44:50Got you a drink.
44:51I love it.
44:54I know you didn't want this party, but...
44:57How could I not spoil you?
44:59I mean, look at you.
45:03Don't you hit me?
45:04It's true, right?
45:07You teach me something new every day.
45:10I'm my best self when I'm with you
45:11because I want to be better for you.
45:13You guide me through space and time.
45:16You speak to my soul.
45:18I love you, babe.
45:21Sir?
45:25So, everyone, raise your Mel-Teenies
45:28for the birthday girl.
45:38Why don't you say something?
45:40Awesome.
46:08Got it.
46:15Sorry, I am one of those people
46:17that needs to fill every awkward silence.
46:20That was beautiful, Nick.
46:21Literal tears.
46:25Yeah, clearly an emotional moment for all of us.
46:29Give a round of applause to Nick!
46:30Nick!
46:31Yeah!
46:34Nick!
46:36Strong-ass Jim.
46:40That's a very tough act to follow,
46:42but I'm just going to steal this stool here
46:45from the, sorry, from the DJ.
46:51So, I would like to, I would love to play a song
46:57in honor of the birthday girl.
47:01Oh, and, uh, I will be playing weeknights
47:05at the Tap Ale House, if you are so inclined.
47:15Here we go.
47:19I have a picture
47:24pinned to my wall
47:26an image of you and of me
47:31and we're laughing
47:33we're loving it all
47:38but look at our lives now
47:42all tattered and torn
47:47we fuss and we fight
47:49and delight in the tears
47:52that we breath until dawn
47:55oh, hold me now
47:59oh, my heart
48:30what happened to your leg?
48:31what happened to your speech?
48:33don't fuck with me right now
48:38hey
48:41you okay?
48:4818 years of marriage
48:51you never once asked me that
48:55well, for what it's worth
48:57I wish I had
49:03huh
49:10where did you get that?
49:13they sell these in stores
49:14but this I happened to get
49:18in Hunter's room
49:19oh, well, great
49:22please, worry about him now
49:23worry about him when he gets better
49:25to hiding it
49:25tell that to your mother
49:26she chewed me out
49:27in the supermarket
49:28the other day
49:28for being a bad parent
49:30I think that's just her way
49:32of saying she misses you
49:35maybe she's right
49:38maybe we are fucking up our kids
49:40well, she would know
49:41she set the industry standard
49:43of terrible parenting
49:44coop!
49:45okay
49:47maybe we are fucking them up
49:49but please
49:50give yourself a break
49:54whatever we have done
49:55to them
49:56started way before the divorce
49:58so
50:14to answer your question
50:15I'm not okay
50:19nothing feels real
50:21to me anymore
50:25I'm numb
50:25all the time
50:29I miss moments
50:30I can't ever get back
50:31every day
50:32moments with the kids
50:35my patients
50:36my god
50:38I'm a terrible fucking therapist
50:39right now
50:40you're not a terrible therapist
50:42no, no
50:42trust me
50:43you're not there
50:45maybe it's not enough
50:46they fuck up our kids
50:47they gotta fuck up
50:48everybody else's kids too
50:49well, it's good to have goals
51:01feels like I've been angry
51:02for so long
51:03I thought I was angry at you
51:04but
51:05now you're gone
51:06I'm still so angry
51:12I'm just fucked up
51:17you hide it very well
51:18no
51:30you ask if I love you
51:33well, what could I say
51:38you know that I do
51:43and this is just one of those games that you play
51:48so I'll sing you a new song
51:54please don't cry anymore
52:00I'll even ask your forgiveness
52:03though I don't know just what I'm asking it for
52:08oh, and hold me now
52:14oh, warm my heart
52:21stay with me
52:26let a loving start
52:28let a loving start
52:31oh, hold me now
52:34oh, warm my heart
52:45let a loving start
52:51oh, hi
52:53hi
53:03damn it
53:10probably should get that fixed
53:12it's on the list
53:13oh, warm my heart
53:22stay with me
53:27let a loving start
53:30let a loving start
53:32oh, warm my heart
53:34oh, warm my heart
53:34oh, warm my heart we're
53:35warm
53:37my heart oh, warm
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